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How to Fight With Grace
Episode 415th February 2023 • Conversations With #AskAsh • Ashley Shuler
00:00:00 00:21:06

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I wanted to cover a subject that I feel is a bit underrepresented, especially in the dynamic of a professional setting– and that is the subject of conflict! 

There’s an art to fighting, and I’m not referring to Martial Arts when I say that. I’m talking about the art of arguing with grace when conflict does arise. Even when conflict makes us uncomfortable (as it should!), there may be valuable information and resolution that we leave on the table when we don’t know how to argue with grace.

In no way am I advocating for arguing, any behavior that crosses boundaries or hurts people. Conflict is a natural part of life, and in this episode I work on outlining the healthiest practices and approaches to making it far more constructive than it is destructive.

In this episode, we break down…

  • Why Organizational Silence is one of the biggest threats to the workplace and how it functions.
  • What the Harvard Business Review has to say about relationships and how silence is one of the leading indicators of a serious rift. 
  • How to speak up in a way that promotes innovation and growth, without being disrespectful of others.
  • How to remain humble in conflict to avoid getting triggered and turning the conflict towards the more unproductive side of things.
  • Specific steps to take that will improve the healthiness of the conflicts that do arise in your life.

Key Quotes & Conclusions…

  • “I love the aspect of having impassioned opinions about things because what it does is it sparks more curiosity, more thoughts, and more ideas, which can be turned into action.”
  • “Now more than ever, people’ve got a boldness. Because we’ve been stripped of some of the distractions and some of the structure in how we’re working.”
  • “If you’re one of those leaders of a project, it’s so very important that the vision is clear. I say this often– but I feel there’s wasted time when we’re not clear on what we’re building.”
  • “No yelling or raising of voices. That doesn’t really help anybody. As a leader, you want to make sure everyone has a cool head.”
  • “I believe in whiteboarding the conflict. Write out what the issue is, and what the scenario is. That addresses what the problem or issue is rather than blaming the person.”

Resources Mentioned:

How a Culture of Silence Eats Away at Your Company


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