Ashley-Nicole Russell, Esq believes that mindfulness during divorce can make all the difference in how and what process is chosen and thus will affect the result. Her guest Eranda Jayawickreme applies his research in post-traumatic growth to illustrate divorce as a result and not a one-time action. As a psychologist and researcher, Eranda uses his work to show that divorce is not an isolated incident but an outcome of a long process.
On this episode of Divorce! Healthy, Ashley-Nicole and Eranda walk through the cycle of divorce, how it impacts everyone differently, and what we can learn about our divorce process from our childhoods. Eranda dives deeper into collaborative versus litigation approaches and whether one event can define who you are today or will be tomorrow.
“One reason why people struggle with divorce is that they may have had a childhood or they may have had prior life experiences that don’t necessarily give them the tools to help navigate complex problems successfully,” Eranda says.
“The secondary control that you can put in place is of how you're dealing with the situation, finding a resource that won't amp up the animosity between you trying to protect your own mindset so you can protect your children”, Ashley-Nicole says.
As the cycle of divorce continues, it can be easy to give into building tensions but by being mindful of the end goal, that each party involved receives what is fair. This tension and giving into animosity can lead to heightened anxiety, depression, and can take a harsh toll on your overall mental health. It’s important that in situations where it’s possible, to choose a collaborative approach during the divorce process. Collaborative between the divorcing parties can ease future decisions such as child custody and settlement negotiation. Awareness of yourself, of children, family, and others that are affected in the divorce process will help this difficult time pass more easily.
💡 Featured Guest 💡
Name: Eranda Jayawickreme
What he does: Eranda received his Ph.D. in positive and social/personality psychology from the University of Pennsylvania in 2010. He is Harold W. Tribble Professor of Psychology at Wake Forest University, and he conducts ongoing research on integrating philosophy and psychology, with an acute focus on post-traumatic growth. Eranda is involved in several projects monitoring the possibilities to strengthen character following adversity, challenge, or failure and the integrative theories of personality.
Words of wisdom: “I do think, when you go to the experience of ending a marriage, it is an opportunity for you to step back and reflect on what you think you've done, how you think you're behaved well, ways in which you think you could do better.”