117: Cultivating More Patience // excerpt from Cultivate a Good Life Podcast
I always thought I was a patient person...until I had kids. Can any of you mamas relate?
I have a naturally easy going personality and I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I am telling you, these little humans of mine push every button and get me riled up and yelling like no one else can.
But I want to be more patient with them, and I will say that it has gotten easier for me to stay patient the longer I’ve been a mom...and I think that’s because I have so many opportunities to practice. Every single day, right? There is almost no limit to the number of opportunities that I have to practice staying calm when I want to lose it. And hey, when I get it wrong and do end up yelling in one moment, I can rest assured that I will have a chance to try again probably within the hour. The opportunities to practice developing more patience are nearly endless when you’re a parent.
I talk about this and so much more on today’s episode, which is actually an excerpt from when I was a guest on a different podcast earlier this year.
I’m sure you remember our guests from last week’s episode of 3 in 30: Becky Higgins and Becky Proudfit from the Cultivate a Good Life Podcast. I had the privilege of talking with them about patience on their show back in April, and they were so gracious to allow me to air an excerpt of that interview here on 3 in 30, for those of you who may have missed it on their podcast.
I love these ladies, and this is one of my favorite conversations I’ve ever had about reframing patience. I hope you enjoy it as well!
Three ways to cultivate patience (“a willingness to suffer”) within your parenting...
Choosing not to yell, even when you desperately want to escape your suffering by unloading your emotions on your kids.
Choosing not to turn on the TV or hand your kids a screen, even when you want to escape the suffering of your kids’ whining
Choosing to persevere in giving your kids chores, even when it would be so much easier to do it yourself
Key Points & Quotes from this episode:
The formal definition of patience is “a willingness to suffer.”
“Every mom encounters situations pretty much every day where we can stop and think in that moment, ‘Am I going to cultivate patience and be willing to suffer right now, or am I going to take the easy way out and escape?’”
“Most parents see misbehavior as a disruption, like ‘We've got to fix this and get it under control because you're interrupting my life’ versus seeing the misbehavior as almost exciting, like ‘This is an opportunity for me to teach and connect with this child.’
“Most of us mothers probably can see that we've gotten more patient over time because we've had lots of opportunities to practice it, whether or not we were consciously thinking about that or not. So how far would we come if we were consciously thinking about it and practicing deliberately to become better at this?”
“There's also an element of being willing to accept your kids for who they are, even if that means a little bit of suffering for you, but continuing to love and be patient and not try to change them--still teaching them the values, still expecting them to work, but recognizing that maybe this child just doesn't value this in the same way that I do or her brothers and sisters, but she'll be okay."
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