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How to Develop a Growth Mindset with Danielle McCombs
Episode 10724th August 2022 • This Shit Works • Julie Brown
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The definition of mindset is a mental attitude or inclination. Psychologist Carol Dweck says there are two main mindsets we can navigate life with: growth and fixed. And that having a growth mindset is essential for success. 

So. How can we develop and nurture a growth mindset so that we can achieve the levels of success that we deserve? 

Listen in as I talk with Danielle McCombs, a Co-Active Institute trained coach about her 30 Day Growth Mindset Challenge 


Drink of the Week: The mindset! 


Julie Brown:

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Danielle McCombs

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30 Day Challenge PROMO CODE: Challenge 6


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Transcripts

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I've been thinking a lot about the idea of mindset recently, you know, fixed

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mindset, growth mindset, scarcity mindset.

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And dense mindset, lots of different mindsets.

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And how our mindset affects what we can actually accomplish.

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And then I began to wonder is mindset like a muscle.

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Do we constantly have to be practicing in abundance, mindset or growth mindset.

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To be flexing and using that muscle to make it stronger

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and help us achieve our goals.

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Welcome to episode 1 0 7 of the shit works a podcast dedicated to all

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things, networking, relationship building and business development.

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I'm your host, Julie Brown.

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And today.

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We are joined by Danielle, McCombs.

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Uh, co-active Institute trained coach with her own life coaching practice.

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And today she is here to discuss how we can nurture a growth

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mindset within ourselves.

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This episode is sponsored by Nickerson.

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A full service, branding, marketing PR and communications agency

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with team members in Boston.

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Los Angeles.

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Miami and New York city.

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Is it then at Nickerson, C O S.

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Dot com.

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Psychologists Carol Dweck says there are two main mindsets

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we can navigate life with.

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A growth mindset or a fixed mindset.

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And that having a growth mindset is essential for success.

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Dweck's work shows the power of our most basic beliefs, whether conscious

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or subconscious, our beliefs about ourselves strongly affect what we want

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and whether we succeed in getting it.

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Much of what we think we understand of our personality comes from our mindset.

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This, both propels us and prevents us from fulfilling our potential.

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My guest today believes that everyone is naturally creative,

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resourceful, and whole.

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That is the external expectations put upon us by society and others

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that can dim the light within us.

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She goes on to say that the world needs everyone to show up as their

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truest version of themselves.

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But how many of us actually do.

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As a coach, Danielle holds space for her clients to explore themselves

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and how they show up in the world.

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By following curiosity and intuition, she helps guide her clients

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to live a life with intention.

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Well, doesn't that sound better than just fumbling forward through life and living

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with the regret of what could have been.

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She is also the co-host or the very popular or the opposite of small talk

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podcast with her friend, Christy Olin Jer.

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Where they explore topics about personal and professional development.

Julie:

Danielle, welcome to the podcast.

Danielle:

Thank you so much for having me.

Danielle:

I'm so happy to be here.

Julie:

I'm so excited to promote your podcast because I was on your podcast

Julie:

and it was one of my most favorite, interviews that I had been in.

Danielle:

I agree.

Danielle:

It was a topic that was not what either of us do professionally.

Danielle:

It was very personal topic and it was one topic where I felt I was able to really.

Danielle:

Show myself personally.

Danielle:

and it was really great.

Danielle:

So anybody who wants to listen to Julie and I, and Christie talk about being

Danielle:

child free by choice, , on the opposite of small talk, it was a great episode.

Julie:

Yeah, it really was.

Julie:

So first let's give me a little background on you and your journey to

Julie:

becoming a professional life coach.

Danielle:

So it there's two pads to it.

Danielle:

Um, just to give you a background, I'm originally from New York in 2016, I

Danielle:

moved to San Francisco without knowing anyone moved there by myself, had a job

Danielle:

offer, decided let's take this chance.

Danielle:

And I think that's where my growth mindset really started because I had no choice.

Danielle:

Um, and then.

Danielle:

I was in commercial real estate for 20 years.

Danielle:

And last year, I think as in the last few years, as everybody had,

Danielle:

was had time for a lot of reflection, um, while we were all trapped in our

Danielle:

homes and I decided that what I was doing wasn't serving me anymore, or

Danielle:

it wasn't my highest and best use.

Danielle:

Um, starting the podcast had a lot to do with that.

Danielle:

We were interviewing people.

Danielle:

Everybody had the same story.

Danielle:

I was in this corporate career for 20 plus years.

Danielle:

And all I was at all of the places I was supposed to be.

Danielle:

I, I had the job title.

Danielle:

I had the money, I had all of the things, but I wasn't fulfilled or happy.

Danielle:

And that is how I felt.

Danielle:

So I started working with a coach.

Danielle:

Just to see, what could I be doing?

Danielle:

And in that time in a very weird way, decided coaching was what I wanted to do.

Danielle:

So,, through the podcast and then through doing my own self discovery

Danielle:

and my own work, I decided that everyone needs a little help being

Danielle:

the best person that they could be.

Danielle:

And I wanna be that person to do.

Julie:

How did you find your coach?

Danielle:

I was looking for him to be a guest on the opposite of small talk.

Danielle:

Somebody had sent me a program that he did on imposter syndrome.

Danielle:

Um, and.

Danielle:

I watched it and said, oh my God, he'd be great for the podcast.

Danielle:

And I reached out to him and we had a talk and all of a sudden I was like,

Danielle:

I wanna sign up to work with you.

Danielle:

And I don't know what it was.

Danielle:

It was totally intuition.

Danielle:

It was a gut feeling that I just followed.

Danielle:

And we started working together.

Danielle:

It.

Danielle:

A life changing experience that just gave me the space to really be in who

Danielle:

I am and who I wanna be in the world.

Danielle:

And he's finally going to be an, a guest on our podcast in the next

Danielle:

couple weeks, but it took a long time.

Danielle:

So

Julie:

so.

Julie:

Mindset is your expertise specifically growth mindset and how your clients

Julie:

can have a growth mindset can we begin by defining mindset and

Julie:

what it means in your practice?

Danielle:

Yeah.

Danielle:

So I think you hit it on the head when you originally said, is it like a muscle.

Danielle:

It's a muscle, just like anything else in your body, you don't work out one day

Danielle:

and all of a sudden you're fit, right?

Danielle:

You're that's not how it works.

Danielle:

You have to work out consistently in order to see results.

Danielle:

And it's the same thing with your mindset.

Danielle:

So you can choose what kind of mindset you want.

Danielle:

And so just to talk about the differences of mindset, you

Danielle:

mentioned Carol Dweck, who.

Danielle:

The mother of mindsets, I will call her.

Danielle:

And she believed that there's two, there's a growth mindset and a fixed mindset.

Danielle:

A fixed mindset is very much what I have is what I can give to the world.

Danielle:

I don't have any ability to change what it is, what I was born with is what I got.

Danielle:

, and so that can box you into places, right?

Danielle:

There's not really room to put in effort.

Danielle:

Growth mindset is something that you believe that your talents and

Danielle:

abilities can be developed over time.

Danielle:

So with, if you put in the effort, if you learn new things, if you, whatever

Danielle:

you want to do, you can do with practice, with learning, all of those

Danielle:

things can bring you to a new place.

Danielle:

And you're not just what you came out of the womb with is not just what you have.

Julie:

What affects, how we look at mindset because I think

Julie:

it's, it would be easy for me.

Julie:

I've had a few times in my life as an entrepreneur when this is like scarcity

Julie:

and abundance mindset kind of thing.

Julie:

Where I've had a few times, in my journey of being an entrepreneur where I felt

Julie:

like I, I wasn't making enough money.

Julie:

I didn't have as many clients.

Julie:

So I was taking things that weren't right for me.

Julie:

And so I, I didn't realize that I was looking at my business from a position

Julie:

of scarcity instead of waiting.

Julie:

Being okay.

Julie:

With waiting for abundance to come to me.

Julie:

And so when we look at it from growth and fixed, how does that work?

Julie:

Cause it, it was almost like a light bulb went off in my head where I was

Julie:

like, oh, this is a scarcity mindset.

Julie:

I'm taking things cuz I'm afraid of not making enough money.

Danielle:

Right.

Danielle:

So I think that they're connected in a way, when you have a growth

Danielle:

mindset and you know that you have the ability to learn something new.

Danielle:

I think entrepreneurs have to have that mindset because otherwise

Danielle:

you're not gonna survive.

Danielle:

Right.

Danielle:

And that goes with.

Danielle:

Abundance mindset.

Danielle:

If you also believe that the world is an abundant place and there's enough

Danielle:

for everyone, you can learn the skills.

Danielle:

And I think sometimes what you could fall into is if you have that fixed

Danielle:

mindset or that scarcity mindset.

Danielle:

You're comparing yourself to everybody else around you.

Danielle:

And you are looking at that.

Danielle:

Like, I, I can't figure this out.

Danielle:

I'm not good enough.

Danielle:

I'm not doing that.

Danielle:

You're worrying about making mistakes.

Danielle:

You're worrying about judgment and you just wanna give up.

Danielle:

Right.

Danielle:

But if you look at it as, oh, this is an opportunity to grow, you

Danielle:

don't see people as competition.

Danielle:

And I think one of the things that I, I wanna say is.

Danielle:

It would be very easy for me as somebody who's starting their own

Danielle:

business and creating this life coaching practice to look at someone like you.

Danielle:

I know we're doing different things, but see you as competition.

Danielle:

Well, Julie's already out there.

Danielle:

She's got all the clients.

Danielle:

There's no way that I could build this, but instead I look

Danielle:

at you as an inspiration, Julie was able to build this business.

Danielle:

Why can't I do it then too.

Danielle:

Right?

Danielle:

She was able to learn how to build a successful business.

Danielle:

I can learn how to do the same thing.

Danielle:

And so knowing that the world is an abundant place and there's enough

Danielle:

clients for everyone, there's enough speaking engagements for everyone.

Danielle:

Everybody has a chance.

Danielle:

It gives you so much more power over what you're doing and gives you the

Danielle:

ability to wait for the right thing and not just taking everything,

Danielle:

because then what happens, right?

Danielle:

If you're in a scarcity mindset, You're just taking anything that comes to you.

Danielle:

You are not living in alignment with what you wanna do.

Danielle:

You're just doing like, I'm just gonna do this.

Danielle:

Talk that just these people are not my people and then when

Danielle:

you're there, it feels icky.

Danielle:

You're not in alignment with what you're doing, whereas opposed to, if you wait

Danielle:

for that, the one that comes that really speaks to you, these are your people.

Danielle:

You're gonna be a different person when you're there.

Julie:

Yes.

Julie:

A hundred percent.

Julie:

When you work with people, do you try to uncover where they're fixed and, or

Julie:

scarcity mindset, how it was created?

Julie:

What was the seed of that way of thinking about what is possible for them?

Danielle:

I think you can, I don't necessarily do that.

Danielle:

Kind of what I think of coaching.

Danielle:

Let's get to the next place where we are today.

Danielle:

We wanna move forward.

Danielle:

Instead of where I think therapy is more to figure out

Danielle:

like, where, why is this right?

Danielle:

So to heal your past as opposed to moving forward.

Danielle:

So, I don't do a ton of that deep work, but I do think it's important, right?

Danielle:

If you grew up in a household where there wasn't always a meal on the table,

Danielle:

or it's very easy to understand that.

Danielle:

And when you hold on really tight to something, You miss.

Danielle:

I'm gonna quote my favorite person, Dave Matthews of when you hold on too

Danielle:

tight to what you think is your thing.

Danielle:

You may find you're missing all the rest.

Danielle:

And you're holding on so tight.

Danielle:

You don't know what else is out there.

Julie:

mm-hmm

Danielle:

And so it's loosening that grip a little bit.

Julie:

that's so interesting.

Julie:

I know on your podcast.

Julie:

You and Christy are going to be doing a 30 day growth mindset challenge.

Julie:

Walk us through if listeners wanna partake in that challenge.

Julie:

What are some of the things, some of the activities, some of what?

Julie:

I don't know, I haven't done it.

Julie:

What are some of the things you will do over the course of 30 days?

Julie:

And what do you envision will be the change in people over

Julie:

such a short period of time?

Julie:

Cuz 30 days is not that long.

Danielle:

Right.

Danielle:

So it is a 30 day digital challenge that you do on your app.

Danielle:

There's an app that you download and every day there's different challenges.

Danielle:

The point of the 30 days is to build up that muscle.

Danielle:

And to remind you.

Danielle:

So it's through micro learning.

Danielle:

There is, a quote every day to start your day off, we have a growth mindset oath

Danielle:

that reminds you of being growth minded.

Danielle:

And it's something that I have to repeat to myself all the time.

Danielle:

Right?

Danielle:

When I find myself in a position where.

Danielle:

I wanna give up, or say that I can't do this.

Danielle:

I have to remind myself that I am the person who has a 30

Danielle:

day growth mindset challenge.

Danielle:

And, so it's a muscle that you're constantly building, cuz it's really

Danielle:

easy to fall into not wanting to do that, to be in your comfortable spot.

Danielle:

So there's that there's a gratitude and win list.

Danielle:

win wall where you also.

Danielle:

It builds community.

Danielle:

So you're doing this with other people and you can share your wins.

Danielle:

People can comment on your wins, the things that you've done for the day.

Danielle:

Things that you're grateful for.

Danielle:

Cuz gratitude is a huge part of having a growth mindset is keeping

Julie:

how does that, how do they go hand in hand?

Danielle:

well.

Danielle:

So if you are grateful for what you have and you're aware of what's around you.

Danielle:

it makes you see the better things around you too.

Danielle:

So part of this is, is that the at it could be the beginning of the day, the

Danielle:

end of the day, you're supposed to put three wins on this wall and it will.

Danielle:

Change the way you're looking through your day.

Danielle:

Right?

Danielle:

Because for me, at least what I realized is oh, I could look at this

Danielle:

thing in a negative way, or, but I, I need to write something on that wall.

Danielle:

And so how can I change this into a positive?

Danielle:

And so there's a part, of keeping things positive in knowing that,

Danielle:

oh, this is something I can learn.

Danielle:

And then there's also a place for, what are you curious about today?

Danielle:

Cuz a big part of growth mindset is curiosity being, knowing

Danielle:

that you don't know the answers.

Danielle:

So ask the question.

Danielle:

Look into that.

Danielle:

What is something that you were curious about, is it a trip you wanna take?

Danielle:

Is it a book you wanna read?

Danielle:

And so what just some subject you wanna learn about that might have nothing to

Danielle:

do with anything in your, like pertinent in your life, but something you're just

Danielle:

curious about to learn something new.

Danielle:

and then there's different micro learnings.

Danielle:

There's Ted talks that we watch that are about, different parts of growth mindset.

Danielle:

Different coach challenges, which are Christy and I sharing our growth

Danielle:

mindset challenge, or our experience.

Danielle:

So , it's a great way.

Danielle:

It builds community.

Danielle:

It reminds you to do these things.

Danielle:

It reminds you to be grateful.

Danielle:

It reminds you to be curious.

Danielle:

And when you remember that, and you can keep that going where

Danielle:

you're doing it for 30 days, right.

Danielle:

Then when you wake up on day 31, You can still look for the things that are, that

Danielle:

you're grateful for right around and figure out what are you curious about?

Danielle:

So it's building the muscle so that it's something that you will continue

Danielle:

on because just doing it for one day, doesn't make a huge impact.

Julie:

So how is what you're doing in this challenge, going to be

Julie:

able to help people achieve their goals, that for their business

Julie:

score or for their, for themselves

Danielle:

So I, we don't necessarily have a specific goal and this is Christie.

Danielle:

And I talk about this on the podcast all the time that we both have very

Danielle:

different ways of setting goals, , where she very much has a checklist.

Danielle:

, and this is the goal I have to set and I have more of an objective and an, a

Danielle:

place that I wanna go, but this is just the way we're, we are different, right.

Danielle:

So I think what it does is it lets you know that whatever goal

Danielle:

you set and however you do that you are capable of doing that.

Julie:

Okay.

Danielle:

You know?

Danielle:

So it's more of a switching your mindset to, well, that looks hard.

Danielle:

I can't do it or somebody else already did it into, oh, if I, if I take

Danielle:

some time and I learn about this because I am a capable human, who

Danielle:

has the ability to learn and grow.

Danielle:

That gives you the ability to take on whatever that goal is and tackle it.

Julie:

know, you said something, when you were talking about the challenge,

Julie:

you said like you have to remind yourself that you are the person who designed

Julie:

a 30 day growth mindset challenge.

Julie:

And it made me think that I, even though I love networking and I love

Julie:

meeting people, there are certain days where, when I walk into a room where

Julie:

I don't know anybody, I'm like, Ugh,

Danielle:

Mm-hmm

Julie:

and then I have to remind myself of all, like I have to remind myself of

Julie:

all the tips I've given people about.

Julie:

How do you walk into a room where you don't know anybody?

Julie:

Or how do you start conversations with strangers?

Julie:

And it's so funny that even like book and sometimes not.

Danielle:

great.

Danielle:

You, you wrote the book on it.

Danielle:

Um, and still, so that's, what's important to remember is.

Danielle:

Even though, and I think that's helpful for anyone, right?

Danielle:

Because to know that even the person who wrote the book on networking

Danielle:

sometimes has that moment where you have to remind yourself to

Danielle:

network and how important that is.

Danielle:

And the same thing.

Danielle:

I have to remind myself, I am a growth-minded individual, right.

Danielle:

There are days where I just wanna say, I can't do this and throw up my hands

Danielle:

and just go back to my little cocoon.

Danielle:

I am a growth-minded person.

Danielle:

And I do believe that with hard work and effort, you can do

Danielle:

anything you put your mind to.

Julie:

But do you give yourself days when, so you just said, you know,

Julie:

there's days where I don't wanna do this.

Julie:

And I had somebody ask me at a speech recently, well, what do I

Julie:

do if I'm I there's a networking event and I just really don't have

Julie:

the energy and I don't wanna go.

Julie:

And I said, just don't go.

Julie:

You know, there's a million networking events.

Julie:

Just go to one tomorrow.

Julie:

So do you do that same sort of practice with yourself or with,

Julie:

or with your students or people you coach, like there are.

Julie:

Okay.

Julie:

It's okay.

Julie:

To have days where you're burned out and you say, I can't do this today.

Danielle:

absolutely.

Danielle:

We all need to rest as well.

Danielle:

Like we cannot be at a hundred percent all the time.

Danielle:

And so it is important to pay attention to what you are really feeling too, right.

Danielle:

There are certain days where, you know, you can push yourself to do it.

Danielle:

And then there are other days where you just can't and that is fine.

Danielle:

So it's understanding yourself too to know the difference, cuz I know that I ha

Danielle:

I know that I have days where it's like, all right, just get yourself together.

Julie:

Yeah.

Danielle:

You can do this.

Danielle:

And then there are other days where it's like, I, you know

Danielle:

what, I can't, I can't today.

Danielle:

And I just need to take this time for me to mentally reset and maybe it's,

Danielle:

going for a walk binge watching Netflix, whatever it is to turn off my brain.

Danielle:

And just let it reset.

Danielle:

That is absolutely.

Danielle:

Okay.

Danielle:

And I think that that is something that people need more of in this world

Danielle:

is like the ability to know what you need in order to be your best self.

Julie:

You and I PR you know, we produce a lot of content, especially,

Julie:

you know, both having podcasts and, and running businesses.

Julie:

And I had a weekend, a couple weekends ago where I had so many things to do this for

Julie:

this podcast, and I just couldn't do it.

Julie:

And I went to the beach and I read a book.

Julie:

And when I was done with that, there was a part of me that was guilty.

Julie:

Like at the beach, I was like, should I really be drinking this margarita,

Julie:

reading this book on the beach.

Julie:

But I was so refreshed afterwards.

Julie:

Like my, I, I had a clarity in my brain cuz sometimes I don't

Julie:

know if this happens to you, but sometimes my brain feels stuff.

Danielle:

mm-hmm

Julie:

It's almost like I have a cold in my brain, like where it's

Julie:

like, there's not enough room for everything that's happening.

Julie:

Like it's like all stuffed up.

Julie:

And like, after that day, I just felt so much better because I had not given

Julie:

myself an opportunity to just go lose myself in a book and be somewhere

Julie:

and listen to the ocean and whatever.

Danielle:

Yeah, I think that there's another part of that that I have been

Danielle:

working on is like procrastination.

Danielle:

I've always said that I'm a terrible procrastinator, all of this stuff.

Danielle:

And I would beat myself up for the times when I wasn't doing

Danielle:

the thing I was supposed to.

Danielle:

Right.

Danielle:

Wasn't creating new content.

Danielle:

Wasn't working on this, wasn't sending the email, all of those things.

Danielle:

And what I realized, and I worked on this with my coach, is that in the time

Danielle:

that I'm not doing those things, right?

Danielle:

So if you take the day, you go to the beach, enjoy your time at the beach.

Danielle:

This stuff is still running in the back of your brain.

Danielle:

You don't need to be, you don't need to beat yourself up for not

Danielle:

doing that thing at that moment.

Danielle:

And I've realized part of my process is sometimes I need to just go for a walk.

Danielle:

I need to go sit at the beach for a day.

Danielle:

The things that I'm working on are still happening in the back of my head.

Danielle:

But it needs room to, to kind of move around and it needs room to.

Danielle:

To process itself.

Danielle:

And so it's not necessarily procrastination.

Danielle:

It's part of your it's part of my process of doing anything.

Danielle:

And one thing I wanna mention is I, and I think I came to terms to this

Danielle:

more is Brene brown talks about this of whenever she's like writing a book

Danielle:

when she starts writing a book, right.

Danielle:

She sends her husband and her kidss way and she watches law and order

Danielle:

for three days, literally, like she.

Danielle:

Yeah.

Danielle:

She was like, I, the one time she sends them away and she's

Danielle:

like, I'm gonna get so much done.

Danielle:

And she was like, I literally watched law and order for three days, my husband came

Danielle:

home was like, what progress did you make?

Danielle:

And she was like, uh, I, I watched 48 hours of law and order.

Danielle:

And she was like, but that whole time, that book is being

Danielle:

written in the back of my head.

Danielle:

And so that kind of made me reframe the way that I think about like beating

Danielle:

myself up for procrastination or knowing the thing always gets done.

Julie:

very interesting.

Julie:

It always gets done.

Danielle:

And so just letting that be letting that be a part of that

Danielle:

process, as opposed to a negative thing.

Julie:

Right.

Julie:

So I'm really into analytical data and studies and everybody

Julie:

who listens the podcast knows.

Julie:

And I'm wondering if there's any way to quantify.

Julie:

Uh, growth mindset.

Julie:

So if somebody does the 30 day challenge say they do it for 30

Julie:

days for 60 days for 90 days, I say, do it for 90 days, you know?

Julie:

Um, is there any way to quantify the change?

Julie:

How are people saying I changed this.

Danielle:

So I will say what the feedback that we have gotten from

Danielle:

people that have gone through it.

Danielle:

I have one, a friend of mine who did it, and every day on day

Danielle:

31, we've done it four times.

Danielle:

Now on day 31, she's like, where is this challenge?

Danielle:

I needed again in my life.

Danielle:

In this time she has left her job, started a master's

Danielle:

program and is starting her own.

Danielle:

And I won't say that it was all because she did this growth mindset

Danielle:

challenge, but it gave her the time to think, oh, I can do this thing, right.

Danielle:

I'm not stuck where I am.

Danielle:

I can do this thing.

Danielle:

So that is just one.

Danielle:

She's like my success story that makes me so happy about, she really did

Danielle:

take this on and took it to heart.

Danielle:

And it made her make these changes in her life over time.

Julie:

mm-hmm

Danielle:

So, I don't know that there's like a quantifiable, like, I

Danielle:

don't have a number for you, but like that story just makes me think of

Danielle:

how you realize how different things can be just by changing your outlook.

Danielle:

Hmm.

Julie:

Well, I'm assuming the gratitude and WWA is a diary of things

Danielle:

Yeah.

Danielle:

And it's a way that the community that we build around this too, which

Danielle:

I think is really important and is my favorite part of it just cuz that's the

Danielle:

thing I love to do is build community so it gives you when you're having

Danielle:

a day of like, oh, I can't do this.

Danielle:

You know, you see other people saying like, sometimes it's like

Danielle:

I went for a walk with my dog

Julie:

mm-hmm

Danielle:

Right.

Danielle:

Or whatever it is, it could be the simplest thing.

Danielle:

And so it's also like realizing like simple things.

Danielle:

Can be big things.

Danielle:

And so giving yourself this space to do that, and then maybe it sparks in

Danielle:

somebody else like, oh, I saw that you, went for a walk with your dog.

Danielle:

You know what, that's a great idea.

Danielle:

Let me get outta the house or whatever it is.

Danielle:

And, and then cheering other people on when they're doing something

Danielle:

great is, is a great part of that.

Danielle:

And so also part of this is it's also gamified.

Danielle:

So you get points for all the things that you do, which is very interesting.

Danielle:

Some people don't care about the points they're like, I'm just gonna do the thing.

Danielle:

And other people are very into the points and it's a very interesting way to like,

Danielle:

uh, just a different side of people.

Danielle:

Um, who's really into these points and wants to win and who other, you know, but

Danielle:

I think you get the benefits either way.

Julie:

So when you said cheering people on, I, in my mind, as you

Julie:

were talking, I was coming up with a question about where does

Julie:

congratulating yourself fit into this?

Julie:

I was once told by a psychic that , I do not ever take time to

Julie:

appreciate what I've accomplished.

Julie:

She said, and she drew a staircase and she said, Every time you go up

Julie:

and you accomplish something, you don't take any time to sit on the

Julie:

stoop and look at what you've done.

Julie:

She goes, you just jump to the next, trying to climb the next step.

Julie:

It was a very good visual and it rang true because like I wrote

Julie:

my book and I was like, great.

Julie:

Now I'll start a podcast.

Julie:

Great.

Julie:

Now I'll do that.

Julie:

And I've never looked back and said, oh, that was a lot of work.

Julie:

So in your process of the growth mindset, where does congratulating yourself or

Julie:

patting your back yourself on the back?

Julie:

Come in.

Danielle:

Um, I think it's part of that wall, right.

Danielle:

Is showing every day.

Danielle:

Here's what I did.

Danielle:

Here's something that I did that I'm proud of or something that I did.

Danielle:

That just made my day better, whatever it is.

Danielle:

Right.

Danielle:

So there's definitely a place for that.

Danielle:

And I think the place of like, what are you curious about kind of moves

Danielle:

you into, well, what is the next thing, but I do, I think, and maybe

Danielle:

it's not a part of this challenge.

Danielle:

I do think it's very important for everyone to acknowledge what

Danielle:

you accomplished take time, let that sink in because then that

Danielle:

energizes you for the next thing too.

Danielle:

Not just check that box.

Danielle:

Let's go, but be really appreciative and.

Danielle:

I think to give yourself the credit.

Danielle:

No, nobody does that enough.

Danielle:

Nobody gives themselves the credit enough for all of the things that you do.

Julie:

Right.

Danielle:

And so I think just even outside of growth minds, outside of

Danielle:

anything, everyone should take a moment and it could be in a gratitude journal.

Danielle:

It could just be at night before you go to bed, it could be in the morning

Danielle:

when you wake up, whatever it is, take a step back every now and then.

Danielle:

And look at the things you've accomplished.

Danielle:

And I actually been using this with my clients a lot is, there's

Danielle:

a commencement speech for Stanford university that Steve jobs did.

Danielle:

I don't know how many years ago and where he talks about connecting the dots, but

Danielle:

you can't connect the dots going forward.

Danielle:

You can only connect the dots going backwards.

Danielle:

And I found this helpful for myself.

Danielle:

I've shared this with clients of take a minute and look

Danielle:

back of how far you've come.

Danielle:

And what, the things that you've done that led you here and know that in this

Danielle:

moment, this is a dot, you don't know what it's gonna mean going, when you

Danielle:

look back a month, a year, 10 years from now, you don't know what this.is

Danielle:

gonna be, but know that it's important and it's something and embrace that as

Danielle:

opposed to trying to get to the next dot

Julie:

Right.

Julie:

That's great advice.

Julie:

So if people are interested in this couple of things, if people are

Julie:

interested in the 30 day mindset challenge, where can they find that?

Julie:

How can they participate in that with

Danielle:

Yeah.

Danielle:

So if you go to the opposite of small talk.com, there should be a wait

Danielle:

list there that will put you on.

Danielle:

And then as soon as we're gonna be doing one in September, so we will put

Danielle:

you, on that list and we'll let you know when registration opens and yeah.

Danielle:

So that's the best way to find out about that

Julie:

and so if people are interested in working with you as a life coach,

Julie:

how will, how would they find you?

Julie:

Hmm.

Danielle:

If you go to Danielle, mccombs.com.

Danielle:

, my website is up.

Danielle:

You can book a free session with me to learn about coaching and find out

Danielle:

if we would be a fit to work together.

Danielle:

And I'm so excited about this venture and it has been just.

Danielle:

Amazing to get to work with people in this capacity.

Danielle:

And I will say that I feel more aligned with what I've been doing

Danielle:

in my life than I ever have.

Danielle:

And so I wanna share that with people.

Danielle:

And so if anybody, if you're feeling stuck in any way, if you're feeling

Danielle:

like you just need someone, to be your cheerleader, to work through wherever

Danielle:

you are and to get to the next spot, , I would love to, to do that with.

Julie:

You know, let me tell you a story about, because what you just said

Julie:

made me so happy about, I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing yesterday.

Julie:

I was giving a keynote and there was a woman in the, in the audience who I've

Julie:

known for years and years and years.

Julie:

And she said to me, Julie, do you remember when we had lunch together?

Julie:

Like.

Julie:

I don't know, 10 years ago, 10 years ago, 10 years ago, she goes, you just

Julie:

looked at me and you said, don't you think there's something more like

Julie:

we should be doing something more.

Julie:

And I don't even remember having this conversation with her, but

Julie:

we both did business development.

Julie:

In-house PDD.

Julie:

And she looked at me and she goes, and now you're doing it.

Julie:

She's, like you said, there's gotta be something more.

Julie:

And then you made it happen.

Julie:

And I don't even remember that.

Julie:

So sometimes the are things that we do.

Julie:

Other people notice them and we don't even notice them.

Danielle:

Mm-hmm

Julie:

And, and we inspire people

Danielle:

yeah, absolutely.

Danielle:

And I will say that's when I started working with my coach

Danielle:

last year was I was in a place where we had started the podcast.

Danielle:

I was in a job that I was, it was supposed to be my dream job and it wasn't.

Danielle:

And.

Danielle:

It really just made me say, like there has to be something more and being able

Danielle:

to do the self discovery work to figure out what is more, has been so empowering

Danielle:

and the feeling of alignment is amazing.

Danielle:

And I will also just, I wanna throw this in.

Danielle:

I remember having a conversation with one of my friends, like probably a year

Danielle:

or so before I moved to San Francisco.

Danielle:

Where the two of us, we were living in Manhattan, we were having great lives.

Danielle:

We were at the beach for this summer and the two of us just looked at

Danielle:

each other and said, I'm bored.

Danielle:

And I think that that is also a sign that there is something more out there.

Danielle:

And at the time I never could have imagined where I am right now, but

Danielle:

I knew that this couldn't be it.

Danielle:

So I, I also just implore people when you have that feeling of.

Danielle:

I'm stuck where I am.

Danielle:

There's no other choice.

Danielle:

There always is.

Danielle:

And to do the work, to find out what it is and have someone help you do that, cuz

Danielle:

it's not easy to do on your own either.

Danielle:

Um, that's

Julie:

Yeah, anybody who's listening saying is, is this my life?

Julie:

Is there something more?

Julie:

And you don't even know what that is, who cares that you don't know what it

Julie:

is like Danielle said, do the work, take that growth mindset challenge.

Julie:

Do the work.

Julie:

If that is in your brain right now, it's something your heart wants.

Julie:

So Danielle, thanks so much for being here.

Danielle:

Julie, thank you for having me.

Danielle:

This was such an amazing conversation.

Danielle:

The definition of mindset is a mental attitude or inclination.

Danielle:

And the first known use of the term was in 19, no nine.

Danielle:

So in terms of the history of the universe, it's a relatively new

Danielle:

concept, which may be why we need help.

Danielle:

Uncovering it.

Danielle:

Flexing it and putting it to good use.

Danielle:

I want to go back to Carol Dweck statement that our beliefs about

Danielle:

ourselves strongly affect what we want and whether we succeed in getting it.

Danielle:

And if you asked me.

Danielle:

Our beliefs about our ourselves are too often shaped by the beliefs

Danielle:

others have in us and our abilities.

Danielle:

So why wouldn't we take the time to do the work, to discover what our

Danielle:

own beliefs about ourselves are?

Danielle:

When we wipe the slate clean of what others have told us we were

Danielle:

supposed to do and allowed to become.

Danielle:

I love a 30 day challenge.

Danielle:

It's a nice bite sized piece of time, easy to commit to, and yet

Danielle:

long enough to make a difference.

Danielle:

So I encourage you to think about taking on this challenge to see what kind

Danielle:

of mindset shifts you can experience.

Danielle:

And because this is a networking podcast and maybe you need a

Danielle:

mindset shift regarding networking.

Danielle:

I want to let you know that.

Danielle:

Yes.

Danielle:

Danielle is my friend.

Danielle:

But we have never met in person.

Danielle:

She lives in California and I live in Massachusetts.

Danielle:

And we met when I was the keynote speaker and then moderator for an online event.

Danielle:

She reached out to me afterwards and we have been friends ever since, and we

Danielle:

will finally get to meet in person when we are both in Chicago, in September.

Danielle:

For a conference that I'm facilitating and entrepreneurial round table for.

Danielle:

And I'm so excited.

Danielle:

I just wanted to throw that in there, in case any of you were

Danielle:

wondering about the ability to network and build friends online.

Danielle:

Okay.

Danielle:

Now for the drink of the week, we are going back to wine.

Danielle:

It's been a real long time since I featured a wine on the podcast and

Danielle:

this one just fits so perfectly.

Danielle:

This wine is 98% petite Sirah, and 2% Sariah out of Paso Robles, which is

Danielle:

one of my most favorite wine regions.

Danielle:

The wine is produced by outcast and is called.

Danielle:

Wait for it.

Danielle:

The mindset.

Danielle:

Yay.

Danielle:

So good.

Danielle:

It goes so good.

Danielle:

I'll put a link to this wine in the show notes for you.

Danielle:

All right, friends.

Danielle:

I hope you enjoyed this episode as always.

Danielle:

Thank you so much for being here.

Danielle:

I appreciate it.

Danielle:

And until next week.

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