Shownotes
Motivational Quote
Business Building Insights
What NOT to do at a networking event [6:58] 3 Ways to make conversations count [9:56] The Power of the Inner Circle [20:21] 2 Ways to work through being uncomfortable in a group situation [23:13] The value of evolving relationships [34:22]Success Trait
Curiousity – Jason says it’s an underutilized trait that has led to identifying opportunity [28:12]Productivity/Lifestyle Tool
To Do Lists and his Calendar Your Life StrategyValuable Book
Rising Strong by Brene Brown
The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller
Social Wealth: How to Build Extraordinary Relationships By Transforming the Way We Live, Love, Lead and Network by Jason Treu
Contact Links
Website Facebook TwitterIf you found value in this podcast, make sure to subscribe and leave a review in Apple Podcasts or Google Podcasts. That helps us spread the word to more makers just like you. Thanks! Sue
Transcripts
Gift is unwrapped episode 34.
Speaker:It is the number one most powerful influencing tip that anyone
Speaker:can ever do.
Speaker:This is John Lee,
Speaker:Dumas of entrepreneur on fire,
Speaker:and you're listening to the gift of biz unwrapped.
Speaker:And now it's time to light it up.
Speaker:Welcome to gift biz,
Speaker:unwrapped your source for industry specific insights and advice to develop
Speaker:and grow your business.
Speaker:And now here's your host,
Speaker:Sue Monheit Hi there and welcome to the gift biz unwrapped
Speaker:podcast. Yes,
Speaker:whether you own a brick and mortar shop sell online or
Speaker:are just getting started,
Speaker:you'll discover new insight to gain traction and to grow your
Speaker:business. And today I am thrilled to have joining us.
Speaker:Jason, Troy of be extraordinary.
Speaker:Jason is a top business and executive coach sales trainer and
Speaker:speaker at the heart of his strategy is the understanding that
Speaker:people and their relationships are your true,
Speaker:wow. Everything we accomplish in life is with or through other
Speaker:people. He works with experts,
Speaker:entrepreneurs, and executives to help them get known and stand out.
Speaker:And he does this by building key skill sets,
Speaker:creating their brand platform and purpose and improving their business results,
Speaker:his best selling book,
Speaker:social wealth,
Speaker:the how to guide on building personal and professional relationships has
Speaker:sold more than 30,000
Speaker:copies and has been number one in four business and self-help
Speaker:categories. Wow.
Speaker:That is pretty impressive.
Speaker:Jason, welcome to the show.
Speaker:Well, thanks for having me on the show and talk to
Speaker:your fantastic tribe.
Speaker:Is there anything You'd like to add to the intro before
Speaker:we get started?
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:that's summed it up really quite well.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Then we'll just going to jump into the content.
Speaker:Cause I know there's a lot of great things to share.
Speaker:As our listeners know,
Speaker:we like to align the conversation around the life of a
Speaker:motivational candle.
Speaker:The light shines on you while you share your stories and
Speaker:experiences. So are you ready to light it up?
Speaker:I am ready to light it up.
Speaker:Okay. So guess what,
Speaker:Jason, you are on your way.
Speaker:You're going to be a speaker at a networking event,
Speaker:and you told everybody to bring some type of a candle
Speaker:and a quote that resonates for them.
Speaker:And you likewise being the speaker are also going to be
Speaker:coming in with your own candle.
Speaker:What color candle are you bringing to this networking event?
Speaker:I am bringing red and why red?
Speaker:I like it's fire fiery,
Speaker:it's energetic and it's just lighting up the room.
Speaker:And that's what each person should do is to go into
Speaker:their strengths and light it up around them.
Speaker:That's a great Precursor for what we'll talk about.
Speaker:And what is the motivational quote on that?
Speaker:Red candle?
Speaker:Vulnerability Is the birthplace of connection and the path to of
Speaker:worthiness. If it doesn't feel vulnerable,
Speaker:the sharing is probably not constructive and that's by Renee brown.
Speaker:I love her.
Speaker:So That speaks to authenticity of who you really are.
Speaker:Right? And I think end of the day,
Speaker:vulnerability is the Lincoln to being courageous in your life.
Speaker:And when you don't actually lead with vulnerability in your life,
Speaker:you live a very small life because when you start actually
Speaker:leading with vulnerability,
Speaker:also with authenticity was speaking your truth and then generous within
Speaker:boundaries, the world lights up around you because then you make
Speaker:it safe for other people to do it.
Speaker:And then you start creating magic and all of your relationships
Speaker:from the moment that you start them all the way through.
Speaker:And most people just don't do that,
Speaker:right? Because I have clients right now that I know that
Speaker:I know a lot more than their spouses do,
Speaker:which to me and these are people who've been married 15,
Speaker:20 years.
Speaker:So in many ways that's a little scary,
Speaker:but also goes the fact that if you're not leading with
Speaker:that, you're not necessarily opening people up.
Speaker:I think that's really true because if you think of a
Speaker:networking event,
Speaker:I'll stick with that.
Speaker:Since that's been the initial theme here.
Speaker:And so many people are just very rigid or what do
Speaker:you do?
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:all the common questions,
Speaker:right? And yeah,
Speaker:boring ones.
Speaker:And your point is starting to talk a little bit more
Speaker:in depth,
Speaker:maybe not totally at a networking event,
Speaker:but a little bit something different,
Speaker:something a little more personal than just the obvious,
Speaker:basic surface level conversations.
Speaker:I ask people all the time.
Speaker:What is your passion?
Speaker:So what are you passionate about in your life?
Speaker:What projects are you working on?
Speaker:You're passionate about because you need to get an emotional connection
Speaker:with people because emotions are why we do everything.
Speaker:People talk about logic and being a logical thinker.
Speaker:They're completely ill,
Speaker:logical when they're actually having a conversation.
Speaker:They're putting stuff together because end of the day,
Speaker:we're making up stories about everything and we operate on very
Speaker:little facts.
Speaker:And I give an example was that if you're in a
Speaker:business meeting and there's a leader,
Speaker:ask a question and you give an answer and there's someone
Speaker:from across the table that looks at you rolls their eyes.
Speaker:You look back at them and think they must not like
Speaker:me, or like what I'm saying or something's wrong with me
Speaker:and how they view me.
Speaker:And the reality is,
Speaker:is all,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:is that that person looked at you and rolled their eyes.
Speaker:You have no idea what's going on,
Speaker:but we make up the information in between all that from
Speaker:the start of our thoughts,
Speaker:to the end of it,
Speaker:with stories because our brain gives us dopamine releases coming up
Speaker:with quick answers.
Speaker:And that's why we do it,
Speaker:but it's not really the reality and the facts.
Speaker:So all emotions and cognition and behavior are in the back
Speaker:seat when we're driving the car.
Speaker:Right? Right.
Speaker:But, so what you're really saying here too,
Speaker:though, is verbal and physical motions will help you create a
Speaker:story that could be right on or it could way off.
Speaker:Exactly. And the easy thing too is if you're in a
Speaker:challenging situation with someone and you don't really know what's going
Speaker:on, I say,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:the story I'm making up is that you don't like this
Speaker:or whatever it might be.
Speaker:And that allows someone else to feel safe,
Speaker:to actually give me a response,
Speaker:especially in an area where there could be some conflict,
Speaker:he is find out what they're passionate about because most people
Speaker:are not necessarily passionate about their job,
Speaker:but there are other things.
Speaker:And then you can ask them,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:what challenges are you having around that?
Speaker:And then from there,
Speaker:you now can start helping someone and helping them with the
Speaker:thing that they're most emotionally charged with and connected with.
Speaker:And I've asked thousands of people,
Speaker:what are you passionate about?
Speaker:And I have also asked the question,
Speaker:when's the last time someone's asked you that,
Speaker:and most people's answer are never Then gives you the attention
Speaker:right away.
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:you sort of stand out because of what you've said.
Speaker:So you're meeting someone for the first time.
Speaker:And a lot of people that's uncomfortable for them sharing something,
Speaker:especially with a complete stranger.
Speaker:What are some other ways to pull out and get to
Speaker:that point versus the superficial conversation.
Speaker:I love to go with them.
Speaker:What are you passionate about?
Speaker:What do you love to do?
Speaker:I ask people like,
Speaker:what's your dream vacation?
Speaker:I mean,
Speaker:asking them questions about passions or things of escape are way
Speaker:better questions to ask someone initially,
Speaker:because they're not the common trend that people have because the
Speaker:problem is you go to a networking or any sort of
Speaker:conference, or I don't care where you meet someone.
Speaker:People are asked common questions,
Speaker:where are you from?
Speaker:What do you do?
Speaker:They tune you out because they've had borne in conversations so
Speaker:many times in the past,
Speaker:and those conversations have led to nothing.
Speaker:Then you get people who are thinking about,
Speaker:well, what do I do for the day?
Speaker:What I have to make for dinner were tripped.
Speaker:When I want to take all these things,
Speaker:when they're actually in the conversation.
Speaker:So they're not present and they're just checked out.
Speaker:And so you've got to get them present and you have
Speaker:to ask them questions where they actually haven't been asked them
Speaker:before. So it forces them to focus without having to try
Speaker:to continually ask boring questions and going on and on and
Speaker:shooting them like a machine gun at them and getting answers
Speaker:out and then trying to find some common ground on those
Speaker:answers, because it's also harder to find common ground or where
Speaker:are you from on from?
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:I'm from Chicago.
Speaker:What's great.
Speaker:But if you're from New York,
Speaker:how to find common ground,
Speaker:it's not easy.
Speaker:And you look like you're really trying as well.
Speaker:It looks like a forced fit because they need to say,
Speaker:oh yes,
Speaker:my, my grandmother grew up there and that might be nice,
Speaker:but it's a forced fit.
Speaker:And people know you're just trying to fish to find common
Speaker:ground. I find that asking those types of more personal or
Speaker:questions that are getting to an emotion,
Speaker:people will share right away,
Speaker:or do you have to share something more personal on your
Speaker:end first?
Speaker:Well, I think part of it is your non-verbal communication.
Speaker:So when you are in a place where you've done your
Speaker:inner work on yourself,
Speaker:you then show up and people just feel more comfortable around
Speaker:you because you just put them at ease because of where
Speaker:you're at.
Speaker:But I also think it's always helpful to share with something
Speaker:or you have a client who's in Italy and he's from
Speaker:New Zealand.
Speaker:And I told him when he goes out to talk to
Speaker:people about wine and joke about us,
Speaker:jeez, let's get a glass of New Zealand,
Speaker:white wine because it's better than any Italian one.
Speaker:And they'll make joke about it.
Speaker:And they say,
Speaker:yes, my family is from New Zealand and I grew up
Speaker:there. And that's a great way to lead with talking about
Speaker:where he's from.
Speaker:And also just sharing something about who he is as a
Speaker:person in a way that's sort of funny and also is
Speaker:a little disarming.
Speaker:And it's just starting in that place where you're just opening
Speaker:up. So if you can start with that and share with
Speaker:people in a conversation,
Speaker:little things about you that are small,
Speaker:then they'll feel comfortable to start sharing as well.
Speaker:Got it.
Speaker:So we've kind of jumped right into the topic here and
Speaker:possibly to summarize or to put some bullet points behind all
Speaker:of this for our listeners.
Speaker:What would you say if you're going to narrow this into
Speaker:three key ways that are the best things to do,
Speaker:to be able to stand out,
Speaker:get known and create intrigue with the person that you're talking
Speaker:to, what would they be?
Speaker:Just three bullets.
Speaker:I would say one,
Speaker:you have to build rapport.
Speaker:And two ways of building rapport are asking the right questions.
Speaker:And one is,
Speaker:what are you passionate about?
Speaker:And what are your challenges?
Speaker:And the second way to build rapport is really through your
Speaker:body language and how you interact with someone.
Speaker:And you can do things such as NLP and mirroring and
Speaker:other things,
Speaker:which also can help bring you in more rapport with people
Speaker:and pacing lead.
Speaker:As far as you're telling your conversation with someone else and
Speaker:matching what they're doing,
Speaker:what is NLP neural,
Speaker:linguistic processing.
Speaker:So it's a way for you to get in connection with
Speaker:someone else through nonverbal communication like you were talking about.
Speaker:Yeah. So mirroring someone else and matching their tone of voice.
Speaker:Also using language that they're using as well.
Speaker:And so those things can really be helpful.
Speaker:Now, if you don't ask the right questions,
Speaker:doing the body language and NLP,
Speaker:isn't near as helpful.
Speaker:And I tell people not to really necessarily focus on that,
Speaker:if you can do and learn and start putting,
Speaker:use a couple things here and there,
Speaker:it definitely is helpful,
Speaker:but you've got to ask the right questions because otherwise you're
Speaker:not getting information.
Speaker:It's So interesting that people will start doing the same thing.
Speaker:I have a couple of friends who speak really,
Speaker:really, really loud.
Speaker:And I've started just when I respond to them,
Speaker:I respond in a really softer voice instead of trying to
Speaker:match them and get higher.
Speaker:And they don't even know it,
Speaker:but their voice goes down.
Speaker:It's crazy.
Speaker:It's crazy how this works.
Speaker:Well, if you mirror people,
Speaker:they will start actually following what you're doing.
Speaker:And it's pretty funny.
Speaker:Then I tell people to drive.
Speaker:I mean,
Speaker:and you can see how well you are in sync with
Speaker:another individual,
Speaker:because if,
Speaker:if that doesn't work at all,
Speaker:typically it says you're not on the same page,
Speaker:even if you think you are Interesting.
Speaker:Okay. So number one was build rapport.
Speaker:Two is you have to build ability with someone that has
Speaker:to like you.
Speaker:And I think that the easiest way to do that is
Speaker:be present.
Speaker:It sounds so simple,
Speaker:but most of the time when people are in a conversation
Speaker:with someone else,
Speaker:they're looking around,
Speaker:they're thinking about what they have to do later in the
Speaker:day. They're thinking about what they're going to have for dinner.
Speaker:They're thinking about 5,000
Speaker:things, and they're not actually present Thinking about where the,
Speaker:what they're going to say next versus listening to what you're
Speaker:saying. Exactly.
Speaker:And so the challenge there is just be in the moment
Speaker:because whatever you're thinking about saying I'm planning and doing is
Speaker:being present because 90% of communication is non-verbal.
Speaker:So people can tell when you're not focused and when you're
Speaker:not present.
Speaker:And that immediately says to them,
Speaker:you don't care.
Speaker:And then they check out a lot of it's an unconscious
Speaker:process. So they may have been aware of it.
Speaker:They just know that they don't really enjoy the conversation that
Speaker:they're having,
Speaker:or that they'd rather have another one-on-one with someone else.
Speaker:And so that part of it doesn't work.
Speaker:I say,
Speaker:being an active listener,
Speaker:as well as part of likeability and the easiest way about
Speaker:being an active listener is to repeat back some information that
Speaker:that person has said to you.
Speaker:And then also try to connect it with some common ground
Speaker:that you're having in a conversation,
Speaker:because that's an easy way at that point,
Speaker:because someone then feels like you walk down their path,
Speaker:you get it.
Speaker:There also is empathy given,
Speaker:which is extreme.
Speaker:One of the extremely strong emotions that you can give someone
Speaker:else is to be empathetic.
Speaker:And most people just don't try doing that.
Speaker:And that really goes a long way.
Speaker:This Is a really good point,
Speaker:Jason, cause I think a lot of people go to networking
Speaker:events. They're putting in their time and passing out business cards
Speaker:and feeling that just by being there,
Speaker:doing their little 22nd spiel,
Speaker:they've put in what they needed to do for that networking
Speaker:event. And given the majority of people go into it that
Speaker:way for someone to go in based on what you're talking
Speaker:about, really being present,
Speaker:listening, repeating,
Speaker:and really getting to know somebody on a deeper level makes
Speaker:way better use of your time and more productive and probably
Speaker:better connections leading into the future Way better connections.
Speaker:And you can do it really quickly too,
Speaker:because also what'll happen is if you start asking people the
Speaker:questions we talked about and also just doing things to build
Speaker:more likeability,
Speaker:you're going to stand out because everyone else is doing the
Speaker:opposite of what you're doing.
Speaker:That's one of the easiest things to do is often doing
Speaker:less is a lot more because people sit in their head,
Speaker:they think about all the people they've met that night and
Speaker:it doesn't matter.
Speaker:Maybe it's,
Speaker:you're going to a charity event or a nonprofit event like
Speaker:at a museum or opera or someone else.
Speaker:And you really will think in your head,
Speaker:all the people that you met and the person that's going
Speaker:to stand out as the person,
Speaker:who's going to be doing things differently than everyone else.
Speaker:And so staying in your comfort zone,
Speaker:make sure that you don't stand out and that it's going
Speaker:to be a lot more challenging to build intrigue for someone
Speaker:to want to follow up with you.
Speaker:And you've got to build intrigue.
Speaker:Someone's got to say,
Speaker:wow, that person is awesome.
Speaker:I want to spend more time with them or they seem
Speaker:really or connected,
Speaker:or something's got to go in their head for you to
Speaker:stand out.
Speaker:So you've got to do something different.
Speaker:And if you just ask them the same boring questions everyone
Speaker:else does,
Speaker:you're just hoping it's something you're saying in that conversation is
Speaker:going to help you stand out rather than having a pattern
Speaker:where you're automatically in a standout just by showing up.
Speaker:Right? I mean,
Speaker:it definitely takes more energy to work the networking event in
Speaker:that way,
Speaker:but you're already there.
Speaker:You're already putting in the time.
Speaker:So you might as well get the most out of it.
Speaker:You possibly can.
Speaker:After a while,
Speaker:if you do this all the time,
Speaker:it's a bit UIL.
Speaker:So then it's no effort at all.
Speaker:It's part of who you are,
Speaker:right. But anything you're going to change,
Speaker:you're going to have to Institute new habits in your life
Speaker:and it's going to take you to be intentional and purposeful
Speaker:on them and it takes a lot more work,
Speaker:but then you get to a point where it takes a
Speaker:lot less work and you're making all this magic.
Speaker:Exactly. And that's what you're there for in the first place.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:And just one more point as we're talking about networking events,
Speaker:because I think it fits in well,
Speaker:here is it's not the number of contact,
Speaker:new contacts that you make coming out of a networking event.
Speaker:It's the number of really serious relationships you form.
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:not that you're going to get into half hour conversations with
Speaker:everybody, but it's way better to walk out with two or
Speaker:three really solid potential contacts and relationships where you want to
Speaker:extend the conversation later than walking out with 50 business cards.
Speaker:Yeah. It's not a business card collection.
Speaker:I mean,
Speaker:I think there's ways to operate where you can get both
Speaker:a lot of people in quality you want to get in
Speaker:there and sort of building a good connection with someone within
Speaker:five minutes or you're creating enough injury that they want to
Speaker:follow up with you and then just exchange contact information and
Speaker:move on.
Speaker:Because the event itself is a gold mine for you to
Speaker:mine. So you want to get in there and meet as
Speaker:many people as you can create entry and then set up
Speaker:follow-up meetings with them or do something like set up a
Speaker:dinner or a brunch and invite these people and get them
Speaker:all together because then you are the connector from everyone.
Speaker:And that works really well too.
Speaker:I've done that plenty of times.
Speaker:And it's fantastic.
Speaker:Cause part of this is you really don't know the people
Speaker:that you want to spend time with more either personally or
Speaker:professionally right away.
Speaker:So my point is why go in to find all that
Speaker:out, do it more safer environment.
Speaker:So I tend to invite people out to group things because
Speaker:then I can get to know people slowly and figure out
Speaker:if they're the right fit in my life,
Speaker:wherever that might be.
Speaker:And also then I'm bringing other people together.
Speaker:So I am the hub and everyone around me is a
Speaker:spoke and that's extremely powerful place to be.
Speaker:If you're that hub,
Speaker:it shows everyone that you're very confident,
Speaker:secure in who you are.
Speaker:You're also generous.
Speaker:You lead with giving and that makes you in a really
Speaker:special place and you even need to be that person.
Speaker:That's just the perception and the by-product of getting people together.
Speaker:Because if you ask people,
Speaker:they might say to you,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:I only want a couple of close people in my life,
Speaker:or I don't need that many really close business colleagues,
Speaker:but everyone,
Speaker:when you ask them,
Speaker:do you want to meet a new person?
Speaker:They all say I've yet to find a person that says
Speaker:they don't want to meet someone new.
Speaker:So there's always an opportunity.
Speaker:And if you're the person that can bring new people into
Speaker:other people's lives,
Speaker:it's an extremely powerful place to be a Malcolm Gladwell wrote
Speaker:about this in his famous book called the tipping point.
Speaker:It's a connector,
Speaker:right? And if you knew you can be a connector,
Speaker:it's the highest value you can give to someone else and
Speaker:no money,
Speaker:no opportunity is going to Trump.
Speaker:That it just,
Speaker:it that's how valuable it is for people.
Speaker:And there are people out there making seven figure more businesses
Speaker:and all they do is connect people Really good.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So we're on these three ways to stand out and we've
Speaker:talked about building rapport.
Speaker:We've talked about likeability.
Speaker:What's the third one.
Speaker:You have to build trust with people.
Speaker:I mean,
Speaker:trust is the fabric that holds society together.
Speaker:It holds your relationship with someone else and you really need
Speaker:to do that.
Speaker:And how you do that is to lead with giving.
Speaker:And that's why you ask someone early on what are the
Speaker:challenges that you're having.
Speaker:What's really holding you back from doing whatever their passion is
Speaker:or whatever it is that they really are interested in their
Speaker:life. Because if you can help them with that,
Speaker:they will do anything for you.
Speaker:And if you ask a question,
Speaker:what are your challenges?
Speaker:You can either help them in the moment.
Speaker:You might have a co also a contact that they could
Speaker:talk to.
Speaker:You might have a book idea.
Speaker:You might have another reference or resource,
Speaker:or you might say,
Speaker:I don't really know.
Speaker:Let me go look into it.
Speaker:And then you take your card and follow up with them.
Speaker:Or It might be that you find a resource that can
Speaker:help them next month.
Speaker:And then you follow up with them and say,
Speaker:Hey, I just met somebody who could really help you with
Speaker:what you were talking about.
Speaker:Yeah. And that's the most important thing.
Speaker:And if there's opportunity,
Speaker:you can tell them,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:what challenges you're having.
Speaker:And that's a great thing to ask someone and also in
Speaker:a conversation there,
Speaker:the other part of is it,
Speaker:you can ask that and also whom do you know that
Speaker:I should speak to,
Speaker:right? And if you ask them a question who do you
Speaker:know, it's a lot better than asking him,
Speaker:do you know anyone?
Speaker:Because a lot of the times the contacts that someone can
Speaker:give you are way more important than the actual information.
Speaker:Because a lot of times they're not going to have a
Speaker:job. They're not going to have lead that you need or
Speaker:whatever it is that you need specifically,
Speaker:or have that information that don't know people that are.
Speaker:So part of every conversation is when you lead with giving.
Speaker:When you want to ask for something back,
Speaker:people are much more ready,
Speaker:willing, and able to do it for you because they know
Speaker:that you're a person who doesn't keep a score card and
Speaker:you lead with that in your life.
Speaker:And the only people that don't have scorecards in people's lives
Speaker:are people in their inner circle,
Speaker:meaning to be a spouse,
Speaker:could be a best friend,
Speaker:could be a business partner.
Speaker:It could be anyone family members.
Speaker:And so when you psychologically put yourself in that place,
Speaker:it's a really magical thing that can happen in that relationship
Speaker:right away.
Speaker:You don't need to wait.
Speaker:Most people think that they have to ask these questions,
Speaker:the fourth,
Speaker:fifth, sixth conversation.
Speaker:But Y you can ask them right away.
Speaker:I love the way you've put this about being able to
Speaker:be in the inner circle.
Speaker:There's no scorecard at that point Years ago,
Speaker:after I moved to Dallas and I didn't know a single
Speaker:person here,
Speaker:I was going out to a lot of charity events and
Speaker:non-profit events,
Speaker:which I think are the best places to go and network
Speaker:and meet people.
Speaker:Either people I'd meet out in different places and they'd be
Speaker:introducing me as you should meet Jason.
Speaker:He's a great guy.
Speaker:Jason's the mayor of Dallas.
Speaker:Jason's a fantastic person.
Speaker:You should get to know.
Speaker:And I knew some of these people for less than 30
Speaker:minutes, I saw them multiple times.
Speaker:They probably knew almost next to nothing about me.
Speaker:And that's how they're leading with that interaction.
Speaker:And I thought to myself in the beginning,
Speaker:these people are crazy.
Speaker:Something's going on.
Speaker:And then I realized it was something that I was doing
Speaker:that most people just don't do,
Speaker:and I could do it so fast.
Speaker:And I could create that level of rapport.
Speaker:And that's something that anyone can do and master if they
Speaker:actually practice it,
Speaker:because all social communication and emotional skill sets are all learned
Speaker:behaviors. It's just like going to the gym.
Speaker:You weren't going to get better at them.
Speaker:If you practice them once a month.
Speaker:And even if you're an introvert,
Speaker:you can be really good at this.
Speaker:I have friends,
Speaker:I have clients of mine or introverts that are really,
Speaker:really good at networking and relationship building.
Speaker:They do it in a different way,
Speaker:but they're equally as powerful as an extrovert.
Speaker:Okay. So That's perfect.
Speaker:Cause this leads into my very next question for you,
Speaker:which is you're right.
Speaker:A lot of people going to these events is very uncomfortable.
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:what, if they walk in and don't know anybody,
Speaker:how do they integrate in,
Speaker:what do they say?
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:everyone kind of turns a light on to themselves and like,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:am I going to look unprofessional?
Speaker:Am I just going to be standing in a corner?
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:that kind of thing.
Speaker:And it's interesting because as you get to know more and
Speaker:more people who you consider to be leaders,
Speaker:they also say,
Speaker:well, you know,
Speaker:I'm really not that extroverted.
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:I'm really pretty shy,
Speaker:but you would never know it when they go to these
Speaker:events based on all that,
Speaker:what steps or advice would you give someone who's listening here
Speaker:and is like,
Speaker:oh my gosh,
Speaker:there's a networking event coming up next week.
Speaker:Maybe I should change my ways.
Speaker:How do I do that?
Speaker:How do I enter into a room and be more confident
Speaker:and change and do something different than I've always done before?
Speaker:Do you have any advice for those People?
Speaker:Right. I'm going out tonight before I leave,
Speaker:no matter where I'm at,
Speaker:I like to listen to some music or I'll have some
Speaker:affirmations. I'll tell myself I'm going to have another great night
Speaker:as usual.
Speaker:I'm going to go on a walk in a room.
Speaker:And I visualize people giving me a high five and hugging
Speaker:me and just really being engaged in that moment.
Speaker:And then I think that helps to start having visual cues,
Speaker:listening to music helps people as well.
Speaker:So get them a little bit more fired up.
Speaker:And I think that's important.
Speaker:I think for some clients and friends of mine,
Speaker:I've recommended that they contact the organizers and asked to work
Speaker:the check-in table.
Speaker:Because if you work the check-in table on the first or
Speaker:second shift,
Speaker:it's you to check people in,
Speaker:you meet peoples,
Speaker:they come in,
Speaker:you also get more familiar with the room.
Speaker:So you feel comfortable in it.
Speaker:And you also can meet some of the people that are
Speaker:running the group and Dale know people that are coming to
Speaker:the event.
Speaker:So they'll introduce people to you as well.
Speaker:And it's also easier when you work an offer to do
Speaker:that, because then you feel like you're a part of something
Speaker:and you feel like you're owning it and you can go
Speaker:up and walk up to someone and say,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:welcome, thanks for coming.
Speaker:And you're a part of the organization and people say,
Speaker:oh, well,
Speaker:do you,
Speaker:are you a part of the group?
Speaker:And you could say,
Speaker:well, yes,
Speaker:I volunteer for the first time tonight.
Speaker:And you can have as a conversation,
Speaker:but also people are coming,
Speaker:checking in and they're seeing you sitting there and they have
Speaker:to talk to you,
Speaker:right? So there,
Speaker:you're having a reason to engage with them because they need
Speaker:to check in pay or whatever it might be.
Speaker:And that is really helpful because then when your shift is
Speaker:over and you walk out,
Speaker:you'll be meeting people for the second time.
Speaker:So that's really helpful.
Speaker:The other thing too,
Speaker:is I love to introduce people to other people.
Speaker:It is the number one,
Speaker:most powerful influencing tip that anyone can ever do.
Speaker:And it's makes people a little awkward initially,
Speaker:but everyone feels like that,
Speaker:but it always works.
Speaker:And what I mean by this is let's say I'm on
Speaker:the way to getting food or the bar or someplace where
Speaker:people are lining up.
Speaker:If you're standing there,
Speaker:there's going to be people all around you typically.
Speaker:And so if there's someone in my right,
Speaker:I'll say to them,
Speaker:Hey, how's it going?
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:what's on your agenda this week.
Speaker:How did you learn about this organization?
Speaker:Are you a member?
Speaker:I'll ask them some little tidbit questions and whatever their answer
Speaker:is. It doesn't really matter.
Speaker:I might ask them one other question,
Speaker:and then there'll be someone on my left and I'll look
Speaker:over that person on my last.
Speaker:And I'll say,
Speaker:how's it going?
Speaker:And they'll say whatever they're going to say.
Speaker:And then literally use my index fingers and I'll take them
Speaker:from outside of my body and I'll cross them over and
Speaker:cross my arms.
Speaker:And I'll say simultaneously,
Speaker:Hey, you two should meet each other.
Speaker:Let's have some fun here.
Speaker:I'll say something else.
Speaker:And it doesn't really matter.
Speaker:And they'll start talking to each other.
Speaker:And I don't even know any of their names.
Speaker:Like I don't even ask people their names at that point,
Speaker:because they'll do that then.
Speaker:And I'll learn their names.
Speaker:And I can do that with a person behind me as
Speaker:well. And I just interrupt people because people want to meet
Speaker:other people and they appreciate it.
Speaker:And they don't feel like it's interrupting and you can now
Speaker:meet all these people.
Speaker:And then what happens is when you start doing that and
Speaker:the conversations may run a minute,
Speaker:they may run 30 seconds.
Speaker:They may run five minutes,
Speaker:but you don't have to be around them all the time.
Speaker:You can just walk away and do whatever you want.
Speaker:But then when you walk around the room,
Speaker:you're getting a great introduction to new people,
Speaker:right? That person is going to say,
Speaker:Hey, you should go meet Jason.
Speaker:And there'll be like a wonderful,
Speaker:how do you know them?
Speaker:Right. I love All the detail that you gave and the
Speaker:visual. And I'm going to actually use that at one of
Speaker:my next event Works every time I've done it,
Speaker:hundreds of thousands of times.
Speaker:And you know,
Speaker:the worst case scenario you're going to have is someone will
Speaker:just say hi and walk away.
Speaker:And I've had that happen before.
Speaker:And that does,
Speaker:but that's the worst that happens.
Speaker:The best that happens is they start talking to each other
Speaker:and love the conversation.
Speaker:And you now you are the hub that brought the spokes
Speaker:together, and everyone will remember that the rest of their life.
Speaker:And I have people here who do this,
Speaker:that have gotten married,
Speaker:run marathons and taken trips.
Speaker:And I'm the person that,
Speaker:how they got connected.
Speaker:That is very cool,
Speaker:right? So I hold a special place with them for doing
Speaker:nothing. A lot of times,
Speaker:these people are just acquaintances in my life.
Speaker:Like I don't really even know them all the time.
Speaker:This happens.
Speaker:I went to a Dallas Mavericks game on a random couple
Speaker:of people that were there together that I actually introduced that
Speaker:a function a couple of years ago,
Speaker:and that I've not seen in a really long time.
Speaker:And they even told me that when I was there and
Speaker:I thought,
Speaker:that's the magic of doing this is sure.
Speaker:It takes you out of your comfort zone.
Speaker:And everyone's nervous doing this the first time.
Speaker:And they feel like they're focused on their words,
Speaker:but the words still matter because people want to meet new
Speaker:people. So they're not focusing on your words.
Speaker:They're looking at that other person in the back of their
Speaker:head. They're thinking,
Speaker:what am I going to say?
Speaker:So your words are like,
Speaker:blah, blah,
Speaker:blah, blah,
Speaker:blah. All they're knowing is they're now have a window to
Speaker:talk to someone else that they didn't have before.
Speaker:Really, really good input.
Speaker:Thank you so much.
Speaker:We're going to move now into the reflection section.
Speaker:This is a place where we look at you,
Speaker:Jason, and what's helped you to succeed along the way.
Speaker:And this answer is probably going to be very obvious,
Speaker:but what natural trait do you have that you believe has
Speaker:helped you to be as successful as you are now?
Speaker:The most undervalued underused traits that we have in our life
Speaker:today is curiosity.
Speaker:And I think curiosity is absolutely something that is essential.
Speaker:That's allowed me to figure out what I've done.
Speaker:It also has led me to be much more creative in
Speaker:my life and creative in the sense of not just doing
Speaker:art or music,
Speaker:but being creative as thinking about things in a different way
Speaker:and being innovative in my life.
Speaker:And that is which really helped me figure this out because
Speaker:I've done things that other people are unwilling to do on
Speaker:a consistent basis in my life.
Speaker:And I've learned that the more uncertainty I can live with
Speaker:the better my life is,
Speaker:and the more opportunities that come about,
Speaker:because Your mind isn't closed to new options that present themselves,
Speaker:Right? And I'm trying new things.
Speaker:I'm being open,
Speaker:I'm being vulnerable,
Speaker:I'm being more authentic.
Speaker:I'm speaking my truth.
Speaker:I'm doing things that are putting me out there that are
Speaker:uncertain and they're in levels of discomfort,
Speaker:but that's where the magic in life happens.
Speaker:And you'll find that people who do that have a much
Speaker:higher quality of life and they're much more financially successful,
Speaker:and they're much more fulfilled.
Speaker:The magic Happens outside of your comfort zone,
Speaker:who says that.
Speaker:Do you know?
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:I love that Quote,
Speaker:but it's so true.
Speaker:What tool do you use regularly to help you keep productive
Speaker:or to create balance in your Life?
Speaker:No, it's a pretty simple.
Speaker:I have a to do list that I use on my
Speaker:phone. I also calendar things in.
Speaker:I think one of the challenges people have,
Speaker:and I told all my clients is that calendar your life
Speaker:because it's,
Speaker:during the day,
Speaker:you don't write down,
Speaker:I'm going to exercise or I'm going to take 15 minutes
Speaker:to go meditate,
Speaker:or I'm going to go take time to go to a
Speaker:networking event or whatever it might be,
Speaker:just won't do it.
Speaker:And you tend then to keep putting other people first and
Speaker:yourself last and in life,
Speaker:you have to put yourself first because you don't have enough
Speaker:to give other people.
Speaker:And it's a misnomer to put other people first.
Speaker:You can't keep balance in your life unless you calendar it
Speaker:in. How much time do you take out of your day?
Speaker:Let's say calendaring versus doing,
Speaker:how detailed do you go?
Speaker:And how much time does it take you to do I
Speaker:do it pretty broadly,
Speaker:right? So what I'll do is tonight I go to a
Speaker:group exercise class.
Speaker:And so I write that down in my calendar.
Speaker:So I know that it's there on,
Speaker:if I look out during the week and there's events,
Speaker:I'm doing,
Speaker:I put those in there.
Speaker:So I can plan my week ahead of time and know
Speaker:what I'm doing mentally be prepared for the days that are
Speaker:much more challenging,
Speaker:right? So if there's a big presentation on Thursday for a
Speaker:client, I've got to work on.
Speaker:So I know on Tuesday and Wednesday,
Speaker:I've got to block out time.
Speaker:So if I block it all this time,
Speaker:there's less clutter on my head cause of my calendar,
Speaker:right? At a time,
Speaker:every day where I read,
Speaker:well, that's important to put out there because I don't need
Speaker:to think about stuff it's just there.
Speaker:And so I don't have to be that detailed,
Speaker:but if you start on Saturday or Sunday,
Speaker:planning out your week,
Speaker:it's much easier because you're not worried about missing something for
Speaker:getting things,
Speaker:leaving it off.
Speaker:You're much more intentional and purposeful what's going on.
Speaker:And it's also helpful for introverts because they have to be
Speaker:much more purposeful about going out and networking and meeting people
Speaker:because of who they are.
Speaker:And they've got to find time to recharge their batteries.
Speaker:So it's much easier when you can know that on Thursday
Speaker:from six to eight,
Speaker:you're going to go to a networking event because then you
Speaker:can do whatever necessary around that time to prepare yourself,
Speaker:then not to burn yourself out or get yourself in a
Speaker:challenging place.
Speaker:And you Don't end up at the end of the week
Speaker:saying, oh man,
Speaker:I meant to do this This week.
Speaker:Exactly. And it helps you remember other things that you need
Speaker:to do.
Speaker:And also just keep yourself accountable.
Speaker:Right? Part of it is having calendaring things in is you
Speaker:now you're accountable for it because it's in front of you.
Speaker:But when it's in your head,
Speaker:you're not.
Speaker:So you can procrastinate and not do it.
Speaker:Right. But if it's on a calendar,
Speaker:you have to be accountable to it because it's there.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:So I think I heard that reading is one of the
Speaker:things that you schedule into your calendar.
Speaker:What book have you read lately that you think our listeners
Speaker:could find value in?
Speaker:So I love this book called rising strong from Bray.
Speaker:Brown just came out in August and it's absolutely fantastic book
Speaker:at how to rumble and deal with things in your life
Speaker:that are really challenging and really getting tapped with more of
Speaker:your emotions and your blind spots.
Speaker:And so I highly recommend that and it's great for business
Speaker:and personal use.
Speaker:I love another book I'm starting to read called the one
Speaker:thing by Keller.
Speaker:And that's really a great book as well.
Speaker:And it talks about,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:how to develop your one thing in your life though.
Speaker:I love The one thing,
Speaker:but I haven't heard rising strong.
Speaker:So I'm going to have to go check that out.
Speaker:That sounds really interesting Gift biz Listeners,
Speaker:just as you're listening to the podcast today,
Speaker:you can also listen to audio books with ease.
Speaker:I've teamed up with audible for you to be able to
Speaker:get an audio book just like rising strong,
Speaker:or the one thing for free.
Speaker:All you need to do is go to gift biz,
Speaker:book.com and there you can make a selection for your free
Speaker:book. That's gift biz book.com.
Speaker:Okay, Jason,
Speaker:we're winding down now.
Speaker:And I would like to present you with your virtual gift.
Speaker:It's a magical box containing unlimited possibilities for your future.
Speaker:This is your dream or your goal of almost unreachable Heights
Speaker:that you would wish to obtain.
Speaker:Please accept this gift and open it in our presence.
Speaker:What is inside your box?
Speaker:It is a life filled with amazing,
Speaker:fantastic, loving,
Speaker:vulnerable, authentic people,
Speaker:because relationships are what we're here for.
Speaker:I mean,
Speaker:in connection is part of a reason for living.
Speaker:And so I want to have those magical people in my
Speaker:life because then everything is unlimited and limitless.
Speaker:Yeah. Your life just becomes so much more enriched.
Speaker:It does Just in your business.
Speaker:It's all about connection.
Speaker:And my business referrals are way stronger and every everyone's else
Speaker:business than it is getting a cold lead just is.
Speaker:I don't have to do near the work.
Speaker:And so does everyone else.
Speaker:So cultivating those people in your business and finding them are
Speaker:absolutely critical.
Speaker:And it's the same thing in your life.
Speaker:And the challenging thing too in life is that you have
Speaker:to keep finding more people because you may evolve and other
Speaker:people may not as well.
Speaker:And that happens all the time.
Speaker:Very few people that were my good friends five years ago
Speaker:are my good friends now because I'm changing and evolving and
Speaker:they're most people are just not.
Speaker:And so it's taken me in a whole different path and
Speaker:I met a fantastic new people in my life.
Speaker:I didn't hold on to old relationships to hold on to
Speaker:them. I found new people on my journey and you know,
Speaker:they've been a really wonderful addition and I think people need
Speaker:to do that.
Speaker:So having a lot of people in your life at different
Speaker:varying levels is important because you never know when someone is
Speaker:going to step up and be in your inner circle.
Speaker:This is a really strong concept,
Speaker:I think.
Speaker:And I appreciate your sharing it with us.
Speaker:If you're friends,
Speaker:you're probably always going to be friends,
Speaker:but the people that are going to energize you and take
Speaker:you to your own next level might change over time.
Speaker:Just as you're talking to me.
Speaker:And often The other thing too is where our blind spots
Speaker:are. We attract those same people.
Speaker:So when you start doing more work on yourself and really
Speaker:taking in grappling with some hard issues what's going to happen
Speaker:is you're going to see your life in the world in
Speaker:a new way.
Speaker:And you're going to see other people around you that are
Speaker:having these blind spots.
Speaker:And they may be the people that you want anymore in
Speaker:your life.
Speaker:They may be friends that are now acquaintances of yours,
Speaker:and you need new people in your life that really help
Speaker:uplift you and move you forward in your life and want
Speaker:to be around more.
Speaker:Well, I'm going to join all my listeners and wish you
Speaker:that that all comes true in your life.
Speaker:And I seem to think it's going to Jason.
Speaker:There you go.
Speaker:How can our listeners reach out to you if they want
Speaker:to know more?
Speaker:Sure they can go to be extraordinary.tv.
Speaker:That's be extra ordinary.tv,
Speaker:all one word,
Speaker:and you can go get free downloads and guides on networking.
Speaker:Even if you're an introvert on personal branding on how to
Speaker:make breakthroughs,
Speaker:how to do some inner work.
Speaker:And there's,
Speaker:you can get links from my book,
Speaker:social wealth on Amazon there's coaching options there,
Speaker:and next year there'll will be a product.
Speaker:There You go.
Speaker:And as you all know,
Speaker:gift biz listeners,
Speaker:you can jump right over to the show notes page and
Speaker:there, I will have all the information also on how you
Speaker:can get in touch with Jason.
Speaker:I'm also going to be including his book,
Speaker:of course,
Speaker:in the show notes page as well.
Speaker:So, Jason,
Speaker:thank you so much.
Speaker:You've really given us a lot of good information on how
Speaker:we can go out and make ourselves more memorable,
Speaker:more impressionable connect with people better.
Speaker:And all of that leads to a stronger business.
Speaker:And it's been a real gift having you share things that
Speaker:quite honestly,
Speaker:I've not heard before.
Speaker:So I appreciate your time and all of the insights that
Speaker:you've given us and may your candle Learn how to work
Speaker:smarter while developing and growing your business.
Speaker:Download our guide called 25 free tools to enhance your business
Speaker:and life.
Speaker:It's our gift to you and available@giftbizonrap.com
Speaker:slash tools.
Speaker:Thanks for listening and be sure to join us for the
Speaker:next episode.
Speaker:Today's show is sponsored by the ribbon print company,
Speaker:looking for a new income source for your gift business.
Speaker:Customization is more popular now than ever grander products of your
Speaker:logo or print a happy birthday,
Speaker:Jessica Gribbin,
Speaker:to add to a gift,
Speaker:right? A checkout it's all done right in your shop or
Speaker:cross studio in seconds.
Speaker:Check out the ribbon print company.com
Speaker:for more information after you listened to the show,
Speaker:if you like what you're hearing,
Speaker:make sure to jump over and subscribe to the show on
Speaker:iTunes. That way you'll automatically get the newest episode when they
Speaker:go live.
Speaker:And thank you to those who have already left a rating
Speaker:and review by subscribing rating and reviewing help to increase the
Speaker:visibility of getting this.
Speaker:On-ramp. It's a great way to pay,
