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204: “PAIN TO PURPOSE TO PASSION” with Charlene Madden
Episode 20423rd June 2022 • The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller • Dr Brad Miller
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She is a speaker, empowerment coach, and author. She is a passionate promoter of life purpose, mental health survival and mindset mastery.

She also facilitates and hosts the Ignite Your Life BC Workshops.

Charlene has suffered from a dysfunctional family since childhood. Her father was a violent alcoholic and as a result, her mother left them, leaving Charlene and her sister behind. Eventually, they were taken in by her maternal grandparents. Her grandmother inspired her to be independent and educated. Unfortunately, they were both secretly sexually abused by their grandfather and when her sister suffered a nervous breakdown in school because of it, her grandfather was arrested and was divorced by their grandmother. 

Charlene never received any proper counseling after what happened and when she was in high school, she was having depression and was cutting herself. She eventually learned how to cope with it through writing. However, her writing style was noticed by her teacher, and she had to go through a psychological evaluation where she was diagnosed with Bipolar Manic Depressive Disorder. 

When she became an adult and had children, she unfortunately also turned to alcohol and was having suicidal thoughts. Eventually, she left her family because she thought she was unfit to be a mother. She, later on, had a relationship with another person who was having mental health problems and got physically abused by him. Eventually, she couldn’t take it anymore and tried to commit suicide. While doing it, she had an epiphany and was, fortunately, able to get herself to a hospital. Unfortunately, after that, she was still suicidal and planned to shoot herself before getting herself into a workshop where speeches from people who went through a lot inspired her to do things for others too and learn to appreciate and love herself more.

Episode 204 of The Beyond Adversity Podcast is for those people who have been suffering or suffered through family problems, sexual abuse, alcoholism, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

This episode discusses how one can deal with past traumas such as having an alcoholic parent and sexual abuse in a very wholesome way: by helping others who are going or went through horrible experiences in their lives.

“The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller is published weekly with the mission of helping people “Grow Through What They Go Through” as they navigate adversity and discover their promised life of peace, prosperity, and purpose. 

https://www.charlenemadden-speaker.com/

https://www.ascensionwellnessstudio.com/ 

Facebook – Charlene Anne Madden: https://www.facebook.com/CharleneAnneMadden

Facebook – Ignite Your Life: https://www.facebook.com/IgniteYourLifeBC/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlene-madden-speaker-and-author-bba41757/

Transcripts

Dr. Brad Miller::

Reverend Dr. Brad Miller here with you on the Beyond Adversity Podcast.

Dr. Brad Miller::

This is the podcast where we help you to grow through what you go through,

Dr. Brad Miller::

help you to navigate adversity to achieve your life of peace, prosperity, and purpose.

Dr. Brad Miller::

We love to talk to people who have done just that, including our special guest here today.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Her name is Charlene Madden.

Dr. Brad Miller::

She has quite the story to tell of overcoming some really dramatic circumstances in her life.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Coming through them to a better place in her life

Dr. Brad Miller::

and she offers workshops and other opportunities to help you to navigate

Dr. Brad Miller::

difficult situations in your life and I'll let her unpack what those situations are

Dr. Brad Miller::

but we welcome to Beyond Diversity, Charlene Madden. Welcome, Charlene.

Charlene Madden::

Thank you, thank you for having me.

Dr. Brad Miller::

It is an honor to have you here on Beyond adversities.

Dr. Brad Miller::

We mentioned this podcast is all about helping people to overcome adverse life events.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And in your life, you've had some success in your life in the business world.

Dr. Brad Miller::

But you've also had some real real challenges in your personal life and other things.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And just to kind of set the foundation of what we're going to talk about

Dr. Brad Miller::

what you offer to be helpful to people. Let's hear a little a little bit about your story

Dr. Brad Miller::

of some of the really challenging things you had to deal with in your life growing up.

Charlene Madden::

Yeah, my story kind of starts right from the very beginning of my childhood.

Charlene Madden::

I was born into a very dysfunctional family. My father was a violent alcoholic.

Charlene Madden::

And when I was three, my parents separated. My mom left my dad,

Charlene Madden::

and she took my two brothers and my sister,

Charlene Madden::

and I had unfortunately to stay with my dad.

Charlene Madden::

Being an alcoholic, he really wasn't fit to look after two young girls,

Charlene Madden::

I, as I said, was three and a half. My sister was seven and a half.

Charlene Madden::

So about a weekend. He contacted my grandparents, my maternal grandparents

Charlene Madden::

and asked if they would take us in. My grandmother didn't skip a beat.

Charlene Madden::

She said, Absolutely, we will take them. She was an absolutely amazing woman

Charlene Madden::

very strong. I think she was pretty advanced for her time and age.

Charlene Madden::

She believed in women's independence, getting a great education.

Charlene Madden::

And she really instilled that in us growing up. My grandfather, on the other hand,

Charlene Madden::

was a pedophile. And I experienced nine years of sexual abuse at my grandfather's

hands.

Charlene Madden::

When I was just over 12, everything kind of came out my sister who had

Charlene Madden::

experienced the worst of the trauma and had a nervous breakdown at school.

Charlene Madden::

And that's when it all came out. My grandfather was arrested, my grandparents divorced,

Charlene Madden::

and another family has broken up for me. I go into high school, I didn't receive

Charlene Madden::

any follow up counseling after the abuse came out. I kind of remember

Charlene Madden::

some anchor moments of the social worker, just kind of patting me on the back and saying,

Charlene Madden::

Don't worry, everything's gonna be okay. And at that age with everything

Charlene Madden::

that had gone on in my life, I didn't know what okay was. So I go into high school.

Charlene Madden::

And now I'm really struggling. I'm dealing with depression, mental health issues, I'm cutting,

Charlene Madden::

I'm not suicidal ideology, and I am just doing the best I can. And I found writing to be a passion,

Charlene Madden::

I was able to pour my emotions and my feelings out onto paper. And I always said,

Charlene Madden::

I poured ink out onto paper rather than blood because at times it was one or the other.

Charlene Madden::

And, but when you're writing such dark stuff, it tends to draw attention.

Charlene Madden::

And I was pulled aside by my English teacher who said, I'm concerned about your writing.

Charlene Madden::

And I want you to talk to the guidance counselor. And his counselor says,

Charlene Madden::

I want you to talk to a school psychologist and off I go to the school psychologist.

Charlene Madden::

I spend a day or an afternoon with a psychologist and I come out with the diagnosis

Charlene Madden::

of bipolar manic depressive. And I have no idea what that means. At that age,

Charlene Madden::

I just think now on top of the stigma of being child, you know, sexual abuse victim,

Charlene Madden::

I'm crazy on top of it. So I just remember the school psychologist, having me on

Charlene Madden::

the back and saying, don't worry, you're going to be okay.

Charlene Madden::

And I was like, why is this other adult telling me that I'm going to be okay,

Charlene Madden::

and she just you know, if you need to talk, come talk.

Charlene Madden::

That was the last thing I wanted to do.

Charlene Madden::

I didn't want to talk about anything.

Charlene Madden::

I just wanted to pretend that none of this was happening.

Charlene Madden::

So I throw myself into school, I managed to graduate high school.

Charlene Madden::

I move on as far as well, not as far away as I could but I move away from the town

Charlene Madden::

I grew up in because I think that geographically if I change locations my life will change.

Charlene Madden::

But it didn't, of course. And I've moved with my high school sweetheart,

Charlene Madden::

and we eventually get married, we have three children. And I am just trying to keep it together.

Charlene Madden::

But I wasn't doing any work that I needed to do on getting better, I was just drinking,

Charlene Madden::

I was a pretty bad alcoholic at that point. Just trying to numb whatever pain I could at the time.

Charlene Madden::

So I get to be the age of 28, my son is a year and a half. And I feel like I am so stuck in

Charlene Madden::

darkness that my only way out is my life. And I want to do nothing more than commit suicide.

Charlene Madden::

And I realized that my children are going to be the ones that are going to find me.

Charlene Madden::

At this point, my marriage is pretty much falling apart.

Charlene Madden::

But, I do the best thing I can and I decide I'm gonna leave the household because

Charlene Madden::

I'm not a fit mother, I'm not, you know,

Charlene Madden::

I'm not a fit wife at this point. I'm not fit anything.

Charlene Madden::

So I moved out, I moved my mother in laws. And within a month,

Charlene Madden::

I was into another relationship,

Charlene Madden::

because I just need someone to love me and to tell me that I'm okay.

Charlene Madden::

And unfortunately, the person that I got into the relationship with was not okay themselves.

Charlene Madden::

And as we know, like attracts like, so I was very dysfunctional.

Charlene Madden::

So that's exactly what I attracted. This relationship started, okay,

Charlene Madden::

but it didn't take very long for the relationship to get abusive.

Charlene Madden::

And two years into the relationship after an evening fight, where I was physically assaulted.

Charlene Madden::

And he left the apartment, I decided I was going to take my life.

Charlene Madden::

I went to the bathroom, took as many pills as I could find, and sat down

Charlene Madden::

to write my goodbye letters to my children. And if anyone's ever even contemplated doing that,

Charlene Madden::

it is the hardest thing you could possibly imagine doing. But that act saved my life.

Charlene Madden::

Because I realized that by taking my life, I was abandoning my children like I felt my parents had.

Charlene Madden::

And I had enough sense at the time to call a cab,

Charlene Madden::

I went to the emergency room

Charlene Madden::

and was sitting at the registration desk when I collapsed.

Charlene Madden::

And I woke up with tubes down my throat.

Charlene Madden::

And I got out of the hospital the next day,

Charlene Madden::

and my mom contacted me and said,

Charlene Madden::

I think you need to move across the country,

Charlene Madden::

you need to change. And this kind of just reinforces my need to run.

Charlene Madden::

Because I think that's going to solve everything. You know, if I relocate,

Charlene Madden::

everything will be better. I move across the country, and things aren't better.

Charlene Madden::

My partner who I had been with, followed me out and that relationship stayed

Charlene Madden::

extremely dysfunctional environment. And it was in 2014, that he actually

Charlene Madden::

left the relationship he had started dating someone else and left.

Charlene Madden::

And about two and a half months after he left. I had a police officer come into

Charlene Madden::

my work and tell me that they had found his body he had committed suicide.

Charlene Madden::

Wow. And I was devastated. Needless to say, and it was hard on my my children.

Charlene Madden::

And about two weeks after this happened,

Charlene Madden::

I started feeling almost an uncontrollable anger.

Charlene Madden::

And I remember sitting with a good friend of mine and she was like,

Charlene Madden::

Well, of course you're angry. It's one of the stages of grief is anger.

Charlene Madden::

And I said no, I'm not angry that he's gone and I'm not angry he took his life.

Charlene Madden::

I'm angry he did it first.

Charlene Madden::

Because he is now robbed me of my opportunity to end my life because

Charlene Madden::

I've now seen the pieces that you have to pick up after this. I've seen the loss.

Charlene Madden::

I've seen the grief, I've experienced the grief. How can I possibly do this to

Charlene Madden::

anybody I love after witnessing. So I throw myself into my life and I just keep you

Charlene Madden::

know that facade that I was so good at maintaining and but it never lasts.

Charlene Madden::

Of course. I had tried going to a psychiatrist and you know was doing some

Charlene Madden::

work with her and I remember I had received a life insurance policy from my

Charlene Madden::

last partner and had bought decided I was going to buy a house.

Charlene Madden::

Now my reasoning for buying the house was it was going to be what

Charlene Madden::

I was going to leave my children because I was already back to the state

Charlene Madden::

of wanting to not be here. Yes, I remember the psychiatrist was so excited that

Charlene Madden::

I was buying this house because I was making plans for the future. And that's great.

Charlene Madden::

But what she didn't understand was I was making very short time,

Dr. Brad Miller::

your mind was in a different place. Your mind was

Charlene Madden::

Yes, exactly.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Making plans, not for your future, but for your kids future in a way, right.

Charlene Madden::

Exactly. So my plan was after I got the house to that a month later,

Charlene Madden::

because I knew I would, it would take me a month to get everything in get settled, set up.

Charlene Madden::

The following month, I was taking my life. So this was I bought the house in September, October,

Charlene Madden::

I was had the date picker. And I had had a friend and a co worker who found this

Charlene Madden::

woman's workshop that was local, and she says, I really want you to come with me,

Charlene Madden::

I don't want to go by myself. But I really want to go and I was like,

Charlene Madden::

Yeah, I don't know. And, of course, I always wanted to take care of other people.

Charlene Madden::

So I said, Okay, Cheryl, go to this workshop. Now, the workshop started on a Saturday,

Charlene Madden::

a date I had planned to take my life was the Monday. Okay, so I showed up

Charlene Madden::

the Saturday morning to this workshop with a hunting rifle already in the backseat of my car,

Charlene Madden::

because I am going to shoot myself on Monday.

Charlene Madden::

So you have very detailed plans going on, didn't you?

Charlene Madden::

Oh, I had the location, the time everything was was all it was all picked out.

Charlene Madden::

So it was just two days I had. So I've walked into this room at this workshop

Charlene Madden::

and felt sick to my stomach right away, because I felt like it was just another place I didn't belong.

Charlene Madden::

All these women in the room were so excited about life, they were making plans.

Charlene Madden::

And here I was going, you know, like I'm just trying to get through two days.

Charlene Madden::

And these ladies are planning what they're doing in the next year, next five years.

Charlene Madden::

Like I don't belong here. And it just kind of reinforced what I had always felt.

Charlene Madden::

So I'm listening to the first couple of speakers and not, they're not connecting at all,

Charlene Madden::

because they're talking about health and wellness. And they're talking about finances.

Charlene Madden::

And those are two areas that I don't care about at all at this point.

Charlene Madden::

And then a speaker gets on stage, and she is bald as a baby's butt.

Charlene Madden::

And she's got alopecia, which means she's lost all of her hair.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Right, right.

Charlene Madden::

And she's standing on stage. And she's talking about how she developed self love,

Charlene Madden::

and how it impacted her life and how it changed everything.

Charlene Madden::

And I was sitting there and I can kind of hear this little voice in the back of my head.

Charlene Madden::

And it says what about you? And I'm thinking to myself, yeah, how different

Charlene Madden::

would my life be if I actually loved myself? If I stopped stop searching for the love

Charlene Madden::

that I didn't get as a child? You know, that I didn't get in my relationships.

Charlene Madden::

What if I just loved myself, and it was enough. So the next speaker gets on,

Charlene Madden::

and she starts talking about living with mental illness, and how for the last

Charlene Madden::

two decades she had struggled with it, and how she had learned to embrace it

Charlene Madden::

and accept it as being part of her life and loving herself, even though she has it.

Charlene Madden::

And now I can hear that little voice in the back of my head again, going, what about you?

Charlene Madden::

And I was thinking, yeah, what if I could learn to not only love myself,

Charlene Madden::

but accept God as being a part of me as well instead of fighting it? But if I just said,

Charlene Madden::

You know what, this is me. This is how what I'm experiencing? How can I move forward with it.

Charlene Madden::

And then the last speaker gets on stage, and it's a gentleman,

Charlene Madden::

and he's talking about how he suffered from addiction.

Charlene Madden::

How he was planning on taking his own life, and how he had been spent so many years in darkness.

Charlene Madden::

And he he had kids, and he, you know spent he'd spent the last year trying to

Charlene Madden::

find the perfect mix of of painkillers and alcohol so that he could have

Charlene Madden::

an accidental overdose in the eyes of anybody who would look on it because

Charlene Madden::

he was a life insurance salesman. So he knew what he had to do.

Charlene Madden::

And he happened to find that right mix of drugs and alcohol on an evening

Charlene Madden::

that he had his children and he didn't get his children very often.

Charlene Madden::

And he remembered laying on the couch, slowly slipping away and overdosing

Charlene Madden::

and knowing that he was going to die and his children were there.

Charlene Madden::

And he heard a little voice in his head screaming No, not like this.

Charlene Madden::

This isn't how it's supposed to happen. And he called 911 Got it, they saved his life.

Charlene Madden::

Obviously he got clean. got help. And now he was going in sharing his stories to

Charlene Madden::

other people who needed hope. Now at this time, this little voice is like screaming at me

Charlene Madden::

now this voice inside my head and it is like: "What about you?". And I just sat there and went,

Charlene Madden::

maybe I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be in this moment.

Charlene Madden::

Maybe these three stories were messages I was supposed to hear that

Charlene Madden::

I was worthy of love, that I could love myself, that I can embrace every part of me,

Charlene Madden::

the good and the bad. And then I could take all of this garbage that I had experienced in my life,

Charlene Madden::

I could take that mask, make it a message and go out there and offer hope to other

Charlene Madden::

people to let people know it's okay to feel this way. But you don't have to stay that way.

Charlene Madden::

And at that moment, everything shifted in my life. And I decided I was going to live.

Charlene Madden::

And not only was I going to live, I was going to thrive, I was going to go out and make an impact.

Charlene Madden::

So someone else that was in the same spot as me, happy, safe. Okay, and that is my, my purpose.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Yes. And hit the pause here for a second, because I know there's the next step of the story.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Well, it's just to reframe those that you had just an incredible story of mayhem,

Dr. Brad Miller::

in many ways you had sexual abuse, you know, the breaking up of the family, you know,

Dr. Brad Miller::

I have to assume there was a lot of deceit and a lot of other things going on in the family growing up.

Dr. Brad Miller::

As far as I could tell, you had at least two to five suicidal episodes in your life from

Dr. Brad Miller::

a young girl cheated on an adult. And then you witnessed suicide with other folks.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And you know, alcohol and other things involved, and your kids and messed up relationships,

Dr. Brad Miller::

it has had a series of really, you know, adverse life events happening to you,

Dr. Brad Miller::

just with the possibility of crushing you. And then you had a couple of details in there

Dr. Brad Miller::

that I think are interesting that you mentioned that you went off with your way

Dr. Brad Miller::

that you loved your grandmother, your grandfather was the one who abused you

Dr. Brad Miller::

and your sister, did your grandmother know about the abuse that was going on?

Dr. Brad Miller::

I'm just curious about that.

Charlene Madden::

She did not fully say that she knew about the abuse.

Charlene Madden::

Whether she did, I'll never know my grandmother's no longer here

Charlene Madden::

Part of my getting that there was something amiss there as well,

Dr. Brad Miller::

there was had been denial or something like that, as well.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Even with the best of relationships you had, there was still some issues there.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So, and so you've got all this. And you come to this pivotal moment of taking action

Dr. Brad Miller::

in where you were you whether you had the intention or not your action was

Dr. Brad Miller::

to be helpful to your friend to go to this event, than you were helped in this process.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So why don't want to carry on with you for just a minute or two here.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Now surely, his action, what actions you took, you know, you went to this,

Dr. Brad Miller::

this workshop, this event, but what actions you took then to actually transform

Dr. Brad Miller::

your life to kind of where you're at now helping others?

Dr. Brad Miller::

What are some things you did and are doing?

Charlene Madden::

Oh, well, my first step was when I left the workshop, I contacted a friend and said,

Charlene Madden::

I need you to take my guns. I contacted my employer and I said,

Charlene Madden::

I need you I had a good relationship but I said, I need you to take all the medication in my house,

Charlene Madden::

I had been diagnosed with a chronic pain disorder, I have fibromyalgia.

Charlene Madden::

So I, you know, had medication in the house. So I took the step of eliminating

Charlene Madden::

any options kind of at the time. But the biggest thing I did, the biggest action I took was like,

Charlene Madden::

radically honest with myself. And by saying that, I really looked at where I was not

Charlene Madden::

what I needed to change in my life. And what I wanted in my life, because I had spent

Charlene Madden::

so much of my life just worrying about what everybody else wanted making sure

Charlene Madden::

my kids were you know, good and, and I needed to go what do you want to do

Charlene Madden::

with this life that you've been gifted with again?

Charlene Madden::

And, and I think honesty was the one of the biggest steps that I took so

Dr. Brad Miller::

Well, that's awesome. Because that's dealing with physical situation at hand.

Dr. Brad Miller::

You know, the crisis at hand is that you have guns and alcohol and drugs in

Dr. Brad Miller::

the house that had to go so you had to make those hard calls.

Dr. Brad Miller::

I'm sure they were two people in your life who you had to have some trust in and say,

Dr. Brad Miller::

Hey, I'm in trouble. I'm in crisis. Help me get me out of this crisis.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And then you had to be really dead honest with yourself, then that's the choice

Dr. Brad Miller::

you were making in. Okay, I'm not at my life. I'm gonna go forward here. But now what?

Dr. Brad Miller::

You know now what do we do we got to be honest about this situation in this process

Dr. Brad Miller::

so Charlene, what I love the fact that you started this process of being honest with yourself,

Dr. Brad Miller::

because that's has to do with the, you know, the inner life, the mental life,

Dr. Brad Miller::

you know, the, the emotional well being that you have to choose to move forward in.

Dr. Brad Miller::

I'm also interested in the most people I know, who've had made

Dr. Brad Miller::

some significant transformation in their life have had some sort of a

Dr. Brad Miller::

spiritual element involved with their transformation and you know, versus 12 step and alcoholic.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Anonymous is, you know, the artist also processes a higher power.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Was there any kind of spiritual or process here that went on with you,

Dr. Brad Miller::

that was part of your transformation situation? It could be religious, it could be meditative.

Dr. Brad Miller::

It could be through another person, was there anything that you kind of went?

Dr. Brad Miller::

Okay, this is something that connects you to something greater than yourself?

Charlene Madden::

Yeah, and I mean, my, my spirituality is definitely strengthened as I've as I've gone on,

Charlene Madden::

but I would say I kind of had a love hate relationship with God at this point,

Charlene Madden::

when all of this was happening. I blamed him and, and, you know, wonder why,

Charlene Madden::

you know, he kept punishing me, because that's how I looked at it, as you know, like,

Charlene Madden::

Why are you punishing me, with all these, you know, trials and tribulations

Charlene Madden::

that I've gone through in my life. And, and again, getting to the honesty part,

Charlene Madden::

is recognizing that as angry as I was, I always had that.

Charlene Madden::

That was the one thing that was always there for me.

Charlene Madden::

That, you know, even though I felt so abandoned, from, you know, my, in my parents,

Charlene Madden::

my grandparents and my relationships, that feeling of having some higher power there with me,

Charlene Madden::

was always the one constant. And I believe that that is why I ended up at that workshop.

Charlene Madden::

And that was that voice that I was hearing. You know, it was definitely divine hands

Charlene Madden::

in that situation. And, and it's, you know, when I tell people I almost felt like

Charlene Madden::

after I made the decision to live, everything started to click,

Charlene Madden::

everything started to fall into place in my life. And I felt like it was, you know,

Charlene Madden::

whatever your belief is, whether it's, you know, God universe, spirit, whatever it is source,

Charlene Madden::

I felt like, it was almost like a collective sigh where it went, finally, yeah,

Charlene Madden::

we've been waiting for you to, you know, we've been giving you opportunities to learn these lessons,

Charlene Madden::

you've finally found them.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Pay attention. Well, I like to call it sometimes divine appointments, you know,

Dr. Brad Miller::

where you don't really understand how you ended up with a certain place,

Dr. Brad Miller::

or a certain feeling or a certain person that you connect up with and that,

Dr. Brad Miller::

that's malt, that voice that you sensed partly was, you know,

Dr. Brad Miller::

the voices of the actual speakers and so on giving you some knowledge

Dr. Brad Miller::

and some of their experience. But you were hearing a voice that was an inner voice

Dr. Brad Miller::

that was almost having a dialogue here with what was going on.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And that was part of the transformative process for you as well.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Is that a fair way of framing what you were going through?

Charlene Madden::

Absolutely. Yep.

Dr. Brad Miller::

If now, so, what do you do on now? Processes How do you live life?

Dr. Brad Miller::

Now I know what you talk, I know you have these workable ideas that

Dr. Brad Miller::

you talk about in you have action steps that you help teach or

Dr. Brad Miller::

what are some of the ways that you live your life now especially, you know,

Dr. Brad Miller::

you were kind of out of control and chaotic before.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Now you must have some more Oh, for lack of a better word, discipline

Dr. Brad Miller::

or regimen or something in your life.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Tell us about how your life changed and what you do now.

Charlene Madden::

Um, I have definitely implemented some self care and self love practices during my day.

Charlene Madden::

I start my day off, you know, I do a lot of reading and I, you know,

Charlene Madden::

encourage everybody I work with to find some some information that you know,

Charlene Madden::

will help them. I do a lot of journaling.

Charlene Madden::

Now, it's and it took me a while to get used to writing not in a depressive state.

Charlene Madden::

But I like to brain dump because sometimes I feel like I still get a lot of thoughts

Charlene Madden::

and stuff rattling around in my head. So I'd like to write that stuff down.

Charlene Madden::

I practice gratitude. And that's been one of the biggest practices that I've, you know,

Charlene Madden::

really implemented in into my life is being grateful for every small thing.

Charlene Madden::

Because, you know, there was a time when I would have missed out on all of the small things.

Charlene Madden::

So that's some of that, and some of the things I work with my clients.

Charlene Madden::

Well, in the practicing gratitude, part of things is wonderful.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And that journaling is another great practice, there's an inner life, practice there.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And the gratitude can be kind of in your life thing too.

Dr. Brad Miller::

But it also can be in how you give back to others be grateful and thankful and be a contributor to others.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And it seems like that's what you're doing now.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And I believe, you know, believe people who really transformed our lives really

Dr. Brad Miller::

have an element of love of others now in their life, and not love of others.

Dr. Brad Miller::

That's kind of self serving, a love of others that is just, you know, truly grateful.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And you're doing that now through some of your teaching,

Dr. Brad Miller::

and some of your leadership and your women's workshops.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So tell us about how you give back now, to others, particularly,

Dr. Brad Miller::

maybe those who have some similar, you mentioned how, at this workshop,

Dr. Brad Miller::

you said, I want to give, you know, I wanted to help people basically, in my position.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So what are you doing now tell us about what you offer,

Dr. Brad Miller::

and what people can find it your website and other ways that you can be helpful to their lives.

Charlene Madden::

After that workshop, I had actually approached the organizer of the work.

Charlene Madden::

And I would really like to talk to you about possibly being a speaker next year,

Charlene Madden::

because of the impact this workshop had on my life.

Charlene Madden::

I didn't go into a lot of detail at that moment.

Charlene Madden::

But I did sit down with her a few months later, tell her what my experience was.

Charlene Madden::

And she was like, yes, you absolutely need become.

Charlene Madden::

So very next year, I spoke at that event.

Charlene Madden::

That was my first live speaking engagement.

Charlene Madden::

And I remember saying that, just before I got off the stage was that my goal

Charlene Madden::

and my purpose that I feel now is that I want to share my story so that I can save a life.

Charlene Madden::

I just want people to know they're not alone.

Charlene Madden::

And you know, they don't have to struggle alone through all of this.

Charlene Madden::

And I said, if I can save a life, everything that I went through all of the pain and the heartache,

Charlene Madden::

and the struggle would be worth it.

Charlene Madden::

And I remember getting off the stage and I was getting ready to walk out

Charlene Madden::

of the room and a woman approached me and she said,

Charlene Madden::

Do you know how you said you wanted to save a life?

Charlene Madden::

And I said, Yeah, and she goes, I just want you to know that you did.

Charlene Madden::

And she turned and walked away. And I was kinda like,

Charlene Madden::

and I get goosebumps every time I told that story.

Charlene Madden::

And I've told it like four times today, but I, for me, it was like, that's awesome.

Charlene Madden::

That's gonna save one more. Yeah, right. Like one isn't great.

Charlene Madden::

But there are millions of people out there that need to have hope.

Charlene Madden::

So now I go around, and I do speaking, I started my own workshop,

Charlene Madden::

that workshop that I attended had actually stopped happening.

Charlene Madden::

And I was sitting there thinking to myself,

Charlene Madden::

Oh, this is so sad that she's not hosting these workshops anymore.

Charlene Madden::

And I heard that little voice in the back of my head saying, but what about you?

Charlene Madden::

And I was like, Oh, here we go again, right? It's like, okay, I can host the workshop.

Charlene Madden::

So I started organizing and plans I've held two, the first one was live.

Charlene Madden::

The second one last year was was virtual.

Charlene Madden::

So once a year I bring speakers in and I do coaching and

Charlene Madden::

I just tried to reach out and share my story of hope.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And I'm assuming that there's been more see more stories as well besides that initial person.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And so tell us a little bit about about maybe a person who you're coaching

Dr. Brad Miller::

and you mentioned in the workshop, her maybe your coaching or your workshops,

Dr. Brad Miller::

who has been touched. Tell us about one more person.

Charlene Madden::

I actually was working with a woman she moved away not that long ago,

Charlene Madden::

but I was working with a woman whose daughters,

Charlene Madden::

both of her daughters struggle with mental health struggles.

Charlene Madden::

And she didn't struggle that much herself.

Charlene Madden::

But she needed a different perspective to come and and know how to relate and

Charlene Madden::

talk to her kids and she wanted to have some hurt

Charlene Madden::

because her daughter's weren't open to counseling or coaching anything like that.

Charlene Madden::

So she kind of wanted to know what she could do in ways to help her daughters to

Charlene Madden::

kind of step out over as I always say, rise out of what they were going through.

Charlene Madden::

So I've worked with her on on some things that she could sit down

Charlene Madden::

and work with her daughters on and you know,

Charlene Madden::

she's touched base with me and said that her daughters are both thriving that you know,

Charlene Madden::

she's worked through stuff and she's got them journaling and doing gratitude journaling.

Charlene Madden::

So, some of the things that I helped her do. She, you know, she's passed that along to her daughters.

Dr. Brad Miller::

that's awesome. That's awesome.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So what are folks gonna find on your website that's gonna be helpful to them

Dr. Brad Miller::

or the offerings that you have?

Dr. Brad Miller::

How can people get involved with your workshop, for instance,

Charlene Madden::

my workshop is I do a lot of my stuff on Facebook, of course.

Charlene Madden::

So Facebook is always the best way to get a hold of me.

Charlene Madden::

My website is really more for all my speaking appearances like that.

Charlene Madden::

On Facebook, my workshop is called Ignite your life.

Charlene Madden::

So you can find that on Facebook. I have a Facebook page,

Charlene Madden::

Charlene Madden speaker and author that I post on every day and I tried to in the morning,

Charlene Madden::

drop a little, little inspiration and some positivity into the world.

Charlene Madden::

And I also have a business it's called ascension wellness studio.

Charlene Madden::

So that's where I run my coaching out of so if you go to ascensionwellnessstudio.com.

Charlene Madden::

That's where you can do one on one coaching or coaching programs.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So several opportunities here. We'll put links to all of this at our website, drbradmiller.com,

Dr. Brad Miller::

and help seeking the health of the people just a dramatic story about great adversity,

Dr. Brad Miller::

suicidal situations and sexual abuse and other things that you've overcome.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Just amazing. And I just want to say, you know, way to go.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Not everybody gets through this, you know, not everybody does.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And you have and that's a victory right there. So congratulations.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And that is an awesome thing to do. And also, also not you're giving back

Dr. Brad Miller::

and being helpful to others because that's what helps you to have a purpose in your life and it's appreciated.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And there are other people will be appreciating what you are all about.

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