Andre is a relationship coach and is the president of Project Equinox.

Project Equinox's mission is to clear the misunderstanding between men and women by teaching the concept of gender intelligence. When both parties understand each other’s perspective, that is the only time respect and understanding communication form, a vital component in any relationship.

In this episode, Andre shared the journey to finding himself, the three phases of his life, and how he eventually arrived at the career he loves.

Andre talks about how he was born into the wrong family and felt different from his childhood.

But eventually, his life started rolling as he discovered his talent for dancing. And soon, his first career began in the dance entertainment industry.

As time goes by, Andre realizes the toxic environment he was living in in the entertainment industry and switches to having an auto repair shop business.

Andre’s automotive business is a success. However, because of his curiosity about everything, he finds another thing he is passionate about being a relationship coach.

Andre also discusses the issue of men and women not understanding each other, which becomes the underlying problem in a relationship. However, when men and women understand each other, there will be polarity in the relationship because they will now complement each other and cover the weaknesses of one another.

Andre Paradis's story shows that no matter our circumstances, we will eventually discover our path to finding ourselves and have a passionate life doing what we love.

Episode 271 of The Beyond Adversity Podcast is a must-listen for anybody on the path to discovering themselves and pursuing the things they love—those looking for a story of a man who went on a long trip before finding his passion.

“The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller is published weekly with the mission of helping people “Grow Through What They Go Through” as they navigate adversity and discover their promised life of peace, prosperity and purpose.

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Dr. Brad Miller 0:00

You say you have a calling in your life to serve other people.

Dr. Brad Miller 0:03

But in order to get to that calling, you've had to go through a

Dr. Brad Miller 0:05

few things. So to give us a bit of your story about how you came

Dr. Brad Miller 0:12

up, to find yourself where you're at now, through facing some

Dr. Brad Miller 0:16

challenges in your life.

Andre Paradis 0:18

Oh, yes, try to make that concise. This three phase in my life,

Andre Paradis 0:23

this is number three phase of my life. started when I was born

Andre Paradis 0:27

in the wrong family was something I believed that I got to

Andre Paradis 0:30

when I was five years old, it was disconnect with I was a

Andre Paradis 0:34

black sheep. But it was beyond that. It was like not fitting in,

Andre Paradis 0:36

like somebody had made a mistake was very interesting, very

Andre Paradis 0:39

strange. So at five years old, I kind of put my feelings and my

Andre Paradis 0:42

thoughts together and realized, I don't belong here. This is not

Andre Paradis 0:46

my people, you know, kind of weird, very scary, how's that

Andre Paradis 0:49

possible? feeling completely. I was on my own. And so off, I

Andre Paradis 0:55

went with life taking care of myself that way. But what

Andre Paradis 0:59

happened to me is that at that very young age, I became

Andre Paradis 1:02

super aware and pay attention to the world people. How is

Andre Paradis 1:09

it possible right turn to understand my circumstances. By

Andre Paradis 1:11

watching I started observing the world at work, especially

Andre Paradis 1:14

people, I became fascinated with people like the human

Andre Paradis 1:18

condition and how do you turn out like this? Why do you turn

Andre Paradis 1:21

like this and explaining my so that was sort of my radar. My

Andre Paradis 1:25

by beat my brain has been like this since then I'm

Andre Paradis 1:28

watching people behave. Life. What does it mean? How does

Andre Paradis 1:33

it work? Why does this person is successful, this one's not.

Andre Paradis 1:36

So that was sort of how I started. That'll be the way my brain is

Andre Paradis 1:42

wired and what it's looking for. So fast forward a little bit. Sad,

Andre Paradis 1:47

little kid, confused, loner, I get to high school, I went to a private

Andre Paradis 1:51

high school and for physical education program, they had yet

Andre Paradis 1:56

options, you could sign up for different things. And I'm almost 16

Andre Paradis 2:00

years old, and this cute little girl comes up to me and said, Oh, my

Andre Paradis 2:03

God, I'm glad you're here. I want to take ballroom for PE but we have

Andre Paradis 2:07

to sign as a couple. You want to sign up as a member? What?

Andre Paradis 2:11

And I didn't know she knew existed. I was like I said, the invisible

Andre Paradis 2:15

person, right? With this cute little thing, you know, asking me to

Andre Paradis 2:18

dance, but I'm gonna hold it in my arms. But yeah,

Dr. Brad Miller 2:22

Sounds good. Sounded pretty good. And yeah,

Andre Paradis 2:24

it was fantastic. Hey, like, if he was dorable, a little thing.

Andre Paradis 2:30

So a week later, we signed up a week later, we're in class.

Andre Paradis 2:32

And I remember this, like, I'm looking at you right now. And

Andre Paradis 2:34

it was so it's so still vivid. I have her in my arms, just the

Andre Paradis 2:37

bottom class, I think we're learning the Cha Cha, the teachers

Andre Paradis 2:41

on my right. And what, as he starts teaching us the steps, I

Andre Paradis 2:47

like he copy everything instantly. I just almost like I knew this

Andre Paradis 2:51

already. And I just remembered. And I just

Andre Paradis 2:53

remember it was really quite

Dr. Brad Miller 2:55

come to dance, you were a bit of a natural then it was completely,

Andre Paradis 2:58

you know, like, like I said, I felt like I knew all of this. And it just

Andre Paradis 3:02

got to be called and it was instantly. So I will go from the geek

Andre Paradis 3:07

and informants because I'm the guy who hit dance with all the

Andre Paradis 3:09

girls and they all want to dance with me because I'm instantly

Andre Paradis 3:12

sort of know how to whatever. So I go from Geek to star. And

Andre Paradis 3:17

obviously, I'm visible and popular word. So even with a program

Andre Paradis 3:21

to school, we started doing performance in school, every quarter

Andre Paradis 3:25

special events, we were actually outside the school to perform

Andre Paradis 3:28

we still had a small troupe. And I can tell you is that's the only

Andre Paradis 3:33

thing I wanted to do. It lifted my spirit it made me smile the

Andre Paradis 3:36

sad kid was now smiling because that sort of there's something

Andre Paradis 3:39

about moving your body to music, the vibrations of both, like

Andre Paradis 3:43

singers will tell you this they'll sing and hit it no and they start

Andre Paradis 3:46

crying because the you know, like the physiology and the sound

Andre Paradis 3:50

coming together just like it moves the spirit moves the heart

Andre Paradis 3:53

and I experienced that dancing was like coming together

Andre Paradis 3:56

super powerful. So that's all I wanted to do. Like from that

Andre Paradis 3:58

moment on all I want to do is dance because they made

Andre Paradis 4:00

me smile made me happy. It took the depression off my brain.

Andre Paradis 4:04

My parents thought it was insane. I mean, I'm in Montreal,

Andre Paradis 4:07

there's you can make a living at dancing. Okay, how can you

Andre Paradis 4:11

I'm supposed to go to school to be become an architect, but

Andre Paradis 4:13

that none of that will became relevant. I just wanted to breathe

Andre Paradis 4:18

and smile. I just wanted to breathe and feel alive. So I had 19

Andre Paradis 4:22

So I did this for almost four years and 19 and moved to the

Andre Paradis 4:25

West Coast getting away from everyone really, my family first.

Andre Paradis 4:31

And I get to the West Coast Vancouver there's no borough

Andre Paradis 4:34

is everyone on the East Coast. There's none of none other West

Andre Paradis 4:36

Coast is Arthur Murray, which is not what I do. Right. So I

Andre Paradis 4:41

ended up searching some kind of way to incorporate dancing back

Andre Paradis 4:45

in my life and ended up in a jazz class Jazzercise, jazz hands,

Andre Paradis 4:50

which is what I've done for years. Okay. It's very, very different

Andre Paradis 4:54

than conditioning for an hour right? The stretching the conditioning,

Andre Paradis 4:57

the strength building the alignment all this Before you get to dance,

Andre Paradis 5:02

not what I was into, but okay. And so I took class twice a week, and

Andre Paradis 5:07

within three months to get an assistant saying, they gave

Andre Paradis 5:11

me a scholarship where you get to train for free. They see talent in me.

Dr. Brad Miller 5:17

at this dance studio, right? So we're talking about, all right.

Andre Paradis 5:21

Yes. So now become part of the system where I'm one of the

Andre Paradis 5:26

upcoming, whatever potential, you know, okay, that was, again,

Andre Paradis 5:31

it was odd. So in from that moment on, I never paid for any

Andre Paradis 5:35

training. It was studio artist studio after studio, I even ended up

Andre Paradis 5:38

in a ballet studio, because you had to go back to linear base,

Andre Paradis 5:42

the base of ballet is very, very straight, linear, right? The structure

Andre Paradis 5:47

of dancing and your bodies. So I end up in ballet studio, just because

Andre Paradis 5:51

it was a layer that was not quite in place. I got a scholarship there.

Andre Paradis 5:55

It was like, it's ridiculous. So and then within this, again, my brain was

Andre Paradis 5:59

still have to go to school becomes something, even though all I was

Andre Paradis 6:03

wanting to do is dance, and has the door opening up in front of me.

Andre Paradis 6:08

I remember thinking, I think this is what I'm supposed to do. And, well, I thought

Dr. Brad Miller 6:15

You thought you were also the direction this is I'm on track for my life.

Andre Paradis 6:20

Like things kept happening to show me that path. Like, despite

Andre Paradis 6:25

me crying, really, which is interesting. So after a while thinking

Andre Paradis 6:29

like, I love this, it's all I want to do. Financially, I don't know

Andre Paradis 6:32

where it's going to take me. So I'm not able to go to school

Andre Paradis 6:36

at this point. I'm just working as a construction worker. And

Andre Paradis 6:39

I just thought I go to work or go dance or go to work or go

Andre Paradis 6:41

dance and like I said eventually was like, like, I think I should

Andre Paradis 6:44

give this a shot. Everything is lining up to push me in that

Andre Paradis 6:47

direction. And I thought okay, well, let me just try it a couple

Andre Paradis 6:50

of years. And if there's something here, it'll show up, and then

Andre Paradis 6:54

I'll go back to school or something, right, like that's just needed

Andre Paradis 6:57

to try it out. Somehow. It was calling me okay. Well, long

Andre Paradis 7:02

story short, I find myself in Los Angeles on a vacation a couple

Andre Paradis 7:07

of years from there. And I get discovered in a studio, a dance

Andre Paradis 7:13

party with all local dancers, people who do what I want to do for

Andre Paradis 7:16

living in Los Angeles and my girlfriend for two weeks. And either

Andre Paradis 7:20

we get discovered like my own Hollywood story, the guy came

Andre Paradis 7:24

up to me and said You know, I don't know who you are. I've

Andre Paradis 7:27

never seen you before. But you know, I love this national

Andre Paradis 7:30

we're doing and loss of dancer four months ago so

Dr. Brad Miller 7:34

this was this was not an audition where you were purposely going

Dr. Brad Miller 7:37

to some

Andre Paradis 7:38

absolutely not

Dr. Brad Miller 7:38

call out to some Viva show or something like this. You're at a party

Dr. Brad Miller 7:43

somebody says you, boom you're on your way.

Andre Paradis 7:45

Yep. So it gives me the job. And that was my first professional

Andre Paradis 7:49

job and again, I ended up you know, literally staying and

Andre Paradis 7:55

going on the road with that job

Dr. Brad Miller 7:58

when you went on the road unit go on the road with

Dr. Brad Miller 8:00

some pretty big name people eventually did you?

Andre Paradis 8:03

Well that first job was Chippendale so I was actually a

Andre Paradis 8:06

backup dancers for the strippers so I wasn't a stripper though.

Andre Paradis 8:09

I was part of the Shogun service can dance. So there was

Andre Paradis 8:11

four dancers or six strippers, and we actually got on stage

Andre Paradis 8:14

and kind of pumped the shows the show was incredible.

Andre Paradis 8:16

Andre Paradis 8:19

and I five days a week, making money making tips. It was

Andre Paradis 8:23

absolutely wild and fun. And it's my first paying job, which

Andre Paradis 8:26

kind of confirm, hey, there's a money here's some money

Andre Paradis 8:29

doing this right so I did this for about a little bit less than a

Andre Paradis 8:34

year and a half in life on the road is not sound glamorous,

Andre Paradis 8:37

but it's not. And also as a dancer, professional dancer, you

Andre Paradis 8:39

have to keep training, you know, being on the road dancing.

Andre Paradis 8:43

I don't for the same show every night kind of numbs you.

Andre Paradis 8:47

Your strength slips your timing slips naturally. And then, you

Andre Paradis 8:51

know, sex, drugs, rock and roll. That's life on the road. So I

Andre Paradis 8:54

remember thinking is this really fun, but after a year, plus a little

Andre Paradis 8:57

bit over a year and a half. And I'm like, I need to go back home.

Andre Paradis 9:00

I need to get back in my life. This is just a job. It's gonna be

Andre Paradis 9:03

nowhere. I'm making money, but it doesn't this doesn't build

Andre Paradis 9:06

anything. Right. I'm gonna get off the road and see what you've

Andre Paradis 9:09

been with tripping nails for five years. How does it help me right?

Dr. Brad Miller 9:14

yeah, that was you kind of hit a wall there. You were not really.

Dr. Brad Miller 9:18

You first was going pretty good. And that while you realize, okay,

Dr. Brad Miller 9:21

is this all there is? Is that what I'm picking up on?

Andre Paradis 9:24

Absolutely. Absolutely. I actually realized how dangerous it

Andre Paradis 9:26

was. Because when you only had the responsibilities, hotels, a

Andre Paradis 9:29

big for salaries, food, right? We made money, put it in our pockets,

Andre Paradis 9:34

and party. That's all we did. We had fun. We dance. We partied.

Andre Paradis 9:37

We worked out with 10 and we play with the ladies like all day long.

Andre Paradis 9:43

So it was here. There's something really interesting about that.

Andre Paradis 9:46

And that's when I discovered this very traditional. I have I didn't

Andre Paradis 9:51

realize how traditional I was until then. So I have to getting

Andre Paradis 9:56

over all the fun it becomes perverted. So And this is a lot of

reason why celebrities lose their stuff. Because when life is

easy when life is just fun, in order to continue having fun,

fun becomes normal. So in order to have fun, you have to up it.

And then a couple of months later, yeah.

And that's part of the that's part of the addictive nature of it

that isn't, you know, you have to keep getting bigger and

bigger, stronger, push, and whatever it is, it could be

money, alcohol, drugs, any number of things.

All of it lifestyle. Yeah. So you know, like that could get, like,

the audit, you don't have to have fun. You have to have it.

It was one of the guys that have been doing the show for

five years. And I remember looking at him, and I started

sounding like him. You know, they say stuff like that, like,

I'm totally into Kevin. And I knew he was good. I knew he

was screwed for life. This guy was never going

to be normal again, his reality was

this epiphany moment, okay, I see myself in

this guy. I don't like what I see.

And it turns out that look a more traditional, they thought,

I want a family and a wife, eventually, if I don't get out of

here, this will all be impossible, because it will never be able

to respect a woman again. Because all we see is the same

type, you know, so I quit. So now I have money. I go, I move.

I make my way to Los Angeles. I get settled, I get an agent.

And I'd start auditioning for music videos and movies and

commercials. That's the business. That's what we do. There's

a big debt that if you're going to do this for a living, you

have to be Los Angeles. So I got settle. I started auditioning

and like I worked in we did this you organize and stuff.

But this is when within about two years, I got to work with

Michael Jackson. I got to work with Prince I got to work with Paula Abdul. Two years Apollo with Julio Iglesias and a bunch of people that attended an hour

Were talking abouth the elite, the biggest days of the biggest

names. I mean, say that Michael Jackson, do Oh my goodness. Wow.

Yeah. And then traveled the world because within this in

that business, you perform and you teach. So if I'm

going, you know, I was in Thailand for four months,

I produce and choreograph a show for the biggest pop

star. That was another channel.

So you were teaching other dancers, other professional dancers?

Yeah. Like in Thailand and other places? Is that what I'm understanding.

around the world, but also when you come back to Los Angeles

after being on the road with the biggest, you know, Thai

pop star, like our Janet Jackson here, like this credit to that,

right? There's this there was with social proof come back

from working with Michael Jackson, and your class is full,

because people want to be with a guy who's gonna go to

Michael Jackson right there. Sure. So the business supplies,

performing and then teaching, always performing and

teaching and traveling to perform and or teach.

and the whole thing is pretty lucrative. And it's

the high of the lifestyle and if

Yeah, fantastic. Yeah. I came back in Los Angeles.

When I was in town. I was I had my own studio demo studio.

I was I was hired. I was, I was teaching in a few

studios I've seen like, at one point 14 classes a week,

which is a lot physically. And I was really quickly

after I got settled within a few months, I was actually

looking for my woman. I was done all the crazy stuff.

I'm 27 years old in empathy for my woman. Okay,

Radar is going we are going I'm a male teacher are

surrounded with 45 young beautiful women all day

long. And they're like, like, I'm the leader. I'm the

teacher right? There's so options open. So the radar

just doo doo doo doo doo doo doo looking

for the one on top of my head.

I gotcha. Yeah.

And eventually, my wife walked in the studio. And that was it.

She came into my class a little bit late and I remember seeing

her from the corner of my eye and I looked in the mirror I don't

know who that is. She came around the space stood on my

right behind a little bit mid room and I turned around

and that was it. I mean, I can't explain it to you

so it's something hits you and she has a similar vibe at the moment

she did not you know and my experience now doing this

work is men typically know pretty much instantly the marry

the woman they're going to marry we have a knowing of

that this intuition like this is her I found her like a vibration I

don't know how to explain it. Women take typically longer to

get there because the question differently so I've a lot of lot

of data on this men know first, this is my wife. This is like ahead

of time, like meeting her the first time so that's what

happened to me. And sure enough, this is my woman. I have

married her. We're still together today. We have two kids and

Wow. That's awesome. How long have you been

married at this point? Just give me

30 years together.

Wow, that's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome.

In particular, given the circumstance you came from, I'm

sure there's lots of folks that you were of your contemporaries

in the dance world in the entertainment world, whose

marriages and everything else fell apart? Is that a fair assessment?

Well, because the business makes you crazy, and the

business and then the this the amount of space and play

time, you know, twist your mind, like, if you consider

syllabaries, the world famous Michael Jackson, Prince

Paul Abdul, or anybody who's, you know, Whitney Houston,

you know, all those famous people, they can go anywhere,

yeah, they can go to the store, they can go to the mall,

they can go to the amusement park, they can go to nothing.

So they have to hide in their houses, or go to their friend's

houses and play pool all day. But that isn't, you know,

they don't they work twice a year, depending on the kind of,

you know, if they're doing movies, as opposed to whatever,

most of them don't work enough to fill up their space.

So they're standing around having nothing to do with their rich,

so they're bored, but they can go anywhere. So they go.

And it's, you know, so I mean, I've seen the males where the

past is, they go to somebody's house, they start partying,

they bring the hookers and then it all goes to hell, like

that's the sort of the lifestyle is dangerous.

And we know the stories are very, very evident of those big

names who have crashed and burned. Michael Jackson,

Whitney Houston, two names you mentioned that are very

prominently, you know, their lives were crashed. So you found

you So you found yourself Adria in this world here. And just

world of entertainment and dancing and all of what this is all about.

Something must have snapped with you because you ended up

getting out of that completely and going into a field. You I want

you to tell the story of how did you end up going from this

world of a Edson entertainment to automotive, helped me out

with this. It'll still seem to go together. You ready? You owned

a auto repair shop or something like that. But let's let's

take this twist a little bit here.

nearby. So what happened is my wife, we're married when

we're both traveling the world because she's a ballerina. So

she's teaching and dancing as well, you know, different different

lineup, you know, because she's a ballerina, but so we're both

traveling, and she's her career and her daughter. She's tall

and thin and a ballerina, right? That's right. So but eventually

I want to start a family again, so traditional, didn't know this.

So when a sort of family and it took us a little while because

she didn't want to ruin her body, her career, whatever, cool.

But when we decided to get pregnant and start a family,

I was not because, again, I raised myself, my family was in there

and I was not going to be absent. The absence of dad, I was

not not going to be I was going to be in Europe, when my kids

are, I'm not, you know, I mean, that was it became it became

the trigger where I'm not doing this anymore,

like 15 years of traveling the world.

So you had a bigger perspective, you could see you could project

out maybe not everybody can but you could project out family

kids lifestyle was, what you were doing was not conducive

to this bigger vision. And I think that's important piece here.

Your bigger vision is what helped you then to make some

decisions based on your present circumstances.

So is that a fair assessment of where you're at?

That's exactly it, like 15 years when this this stuff is amazing,

you know, but it sounds glamorous, that it's that you know it

and so the idea of having children of not gonna be absent

was gonna be in their in their lives. And by design because my

own man and my own boss always been so I've just had

design my life to make that work. And that's where the body

shop came in. Because I literally, we decided to start

having, you know, kids, I call my agent, this is okay, so I'm

not traveling anymore. If you want to, you know, do the work

in Los Angeles, or I don't like I'm not traveling. I'm not getting

on the plane. I do local work. Work that out. But and she's like,

What, are you crazy? I'm like, No, I'm having a baby.

So now because so my family, one of the things that my

family passed on to me is there's I have four of three brothers

is four men in my family. My dad was a car guy, so we were cars.

All right. So that's part of your background. Okay. I gotcha.

So especially in Canada, all cars don't exist anymore because

they rusted out in Los Angeles or everywhere. So I used to

drool over classic cars everywhere. So the idea of and I had

a few plastics myself, I started collecting cars when I was

dancing, and had two maybe three at the time, and that's

just they just love that stuff. So I decided to open an auto

body shop to kind of like as a fix for my need to be around

classic cars and restore them and say, Okay, I saw it. It

started with the classic cars and it turned out to be there's

no money in restoring cars. So in a big collision repair shop

and it'll be a parent that exploded by the way, like,

as soon as I open the shop like it's loaded.

So just to clear your bid you you had success and the

entertainment dance world, now you kind of take a really a

90 degree or 180 degree turn and go into auto body work and

restoration. And that succeeds as well. Is that right? And so

you're sure you're going you're succeeding in both these tracks? Right? Yep. Yep,

and so much that within a few months, like I forgot

dancing altogether, there was still time and space for that

it was not part of my new reality. It was interesting because

I used to travel the world and go out to work. Now I'm sitting

in my business before come into me, I don't have to go anywhere.

Wow. Like what a switch like that was cool. I like that idea

of traveling again or even doing so and again, we got so busy

so quick, that I got sucked in and then the machine of it has

to you know, I had to be present so instantly like what ad

in a few months. Okay, and that was my new life.

So your succeeded there. And then you ended up and I just

needed to get one is to start to move towards what you're

doing now. And then you you said success as a dancer now

you've had success as a businessman and automotive repair

place. And now you are relationship coach. So tell me about

the shift then from you know, from the car world being a you

know, a local business owner to now being a relationship coach,

something had to snap there to something had to shift there as well.

It's so did it was funny, again, seemingly random, like my life was

people things lined up in front of me. And without this silly me

planning it, which is, I still, you know, that's what I call like fate,

like, it was just the way it was gonna happen and had to

develop that ways. So because of my brain and my

curiosity with the human condition, and my own condition,

I was, since I was 23 years old, I was taking personal

development workshops. Personally, one after the other

after the other after the other, like that was the guy in

a workshop on the weekend. And my friends were like,

What are you doing? You know, even the beginning? Like

it was even considered weird. When you mean to get to

sit in the workshop all weekend. It's so weird, you know,

money workshops, personal development workshop, like,

oh, you name it. So that was that's my radar with this.

This a lot of relationship stuff. Like anything personal

development always goes back to your relationship with

whatever it is that you're struggling with, with yourself.

Anyway, so in 2006, that had the business for six or seven

years at the time. Still, that guy still that brain

always inquiring, I ended up in Northern California in

a 3d workshop about a business workshop networking

workshop to raise the ceiling on the profit that it was

making my business. I took it as far as I could.

I wanted more. Let's go learn. So in San Jose, three days,

come back on the plane and I met a couple in the workshop.

So we're sitting again, talking about random or faith and

there was random was not the girls. The lady says to be

shoes. What are you doing next weekend? I go next

weekend I'm off why, she goes, I want to invite you to a workshop. It's on me.

Of course, that's where you weren't.

where I went, you know, it's, those can be expensive.

She's copying me. She's inviting me. It's local, by the airport,

of course. And then I go away after I agree. I go

what's the workshop? She goes, it's called understanding women.

Understanding women all right, right. You've had this

history of having in intense and a little bit of experience

with women. That wouldn't have been a common experience

for a lot of men. Let me put it that way.

Right. And an ease with this. I always attract it sweet with

my wife, my wife. Okay, right. So I always attract a sweet

women that didn't do the crazy stuff. My friends did the yelling,

screaming the misunderstanding that, you know, like,

I didn't do any of that I attracted sweet women. And I thought

I do something. I thought it was me my artistic personality,

whatever. So now I'm going to spend my weekend in a

workshop on the same women going, oh, like, what are you

gonna teach me like, this is right, by the way. So I went into

a little bit backwards, thinking it was gonna be cute. When I

walked in, it was foreign to people in the space. And the energy

I remember thinking, oh, let's not keep this something's going

on here. Something like intense is going on here. And sure enough,

sat down. This half half half women, half men which is interesting.

And the girl next to me the whole time. And at the end of the

workshop, my brains over the walls completely exploded. I realized

I knew nothing, nothing. Nothing about women with men.

I knew nothing about my wife. As a Steinway have two little kids,

a toddler and a baby. And the realization that I knew nothing

about how she processed things, how she operates how I wish she

would motivate her with why she thinks personally all this stuff

that I could we all have a sense of that, but we don't know why.

And so when I realized the danger of not knowing that

I lost my mind, like, all my friends, all my siblings are married

and divorced twice, three times. One is four times,

I have my angel, my baby girl, right? My angel with my two kids,

I'm not going to mess this up, because I didn't know.

Right for my brain is unthinkable. So this is how I was started, I ended up taking the entire two.

So you took all these classes, and it's kind of transform

you and how you view women and, and how that's a big

part of what you're all about now on your relationship

coaching Project equinox.net. And so, I want to get a couple

of things out of you here in terms of what you do now

and how it relates to our audience, and what their needs

are. Because we have a lot of people who have messed

up lives in one way or another divorces or self sabotage

all kinds of things that go on when you have adversity

in your life. And I find that there's some things that are

kind of common that, in your experience, what do you

think, are some of the actions that you took, I think

you've named them that helped you to move from a lifestyle

of destructiveness to one where you're now feel like you're

doing something that is beneficial to others,

what are a couple of actions that you took?

Well, I just, I was always curious, that was just something, I

was curious. I'm curious about everything. And that kind

of like, ended up putting me in a position where I discovered

stuff that was I was passionate about. So when I started doing

the relationship stuff I used to start it for, make sure that me

and my wife were going to be okay, that's, that was my only

reason to do this. Like, I was not gonna be statistic,

I didn't know, I needed to understand all of this, I didn't

understand me within this, the reaction, the stuff, we don't

know this, well, we don't know this really dangerous, I

can tell you this. Now this all I do for a living like this

dangerous, what we don't know about each other, and

how we function in whatever. So that's how that was the

beginning of it. I became a worship leader for that company

with a teacher. So that was, Oh, wow. And I've always

wanted at the back of my head when I was doing personal

development stuff, I would always look at this, the

person would find going, you know, I could do this.

I'd be really good at this. Like I had it, almost like

a premonition of what was coming.

So I think you pick up on two actions right now that you did

here. You were curious, which means you're asking questions,

you're gonna have a learning mode, about yourself.

So the curiosity learning mode, and then you also taught,

you mentioned teaching, and you're dancing and the other

things in life, and you taught in these workshop areas.

So you did did those things as well learning and getting back

or, you know, relearn and return. Some people call that

and that, that's awesome. Also, it seems to me that when

the moment came, you, you jump, you actually did something

about it did let the moment pass by, you know, you moved

from Canada to the west coast to do some things. You

had this opportunity to play a lot of people if somebody

invited you to a workshop, and the plane didn't take, oh,

who is this weirdo or whatever not do it. You've you did it,

you did it. So that's, that's awesome. So let's talk a bit

about kind of go let's go to spiritual level here for a second,

I've heard you say, in some of our conversations that

you feel like you have a God sent calling. And so let's

talk about that for a second. I'd like to think about what do

you see about what you're doing now in terms of your relationship

coaching? How does that connect to something bigger than

itself? Is there any spiritual element to this as any, any

thing on kind of a metaphysical plane here we're talking about?

So thank you. Good question. So I was raised Catholic, and

my parents took it to a level of demandingness like it was

not even as a kid and all of us had the same thought like

what the hell is wrong with them? You know, in the name

of God, they create a lot of destruction within the

family in the name.

by all of us you made your brothers and sisters

have a similar experience is what I'm Understand. Yes. Okay.

Yeah. All right. Yes, parents were insane with this so religion

was crazy was dangerous was hurtful was evil in the pain

that he created, the name of God was insane. Like in the name

of God, I want to hurt you, because you need to live. And

so I rejected all of this earlier like the rest of my siblings had.

So I'm operating through all I can tell you is that we're always

operating to the good side. Did I mean like the good side

always pull me like if I don't necessarily believe in God, I

believe in good and bad. And I'm going to step into the

side of being good, but myself, the way I operate in the

world, the way I treat people the way I'm service and

helpful, just because it resonates with me as the right

thing to do without any spiritual guidance. However, what

happened is, the more I trained and the more so when I

started teaching these people again, same thing people came

at me at I have a car business, and I'm helping my clients, I

closed the office door because people are crying in my

office. I'm the guy that people open up to again. So

not many people do that with their car guy.

It's so weird. And they were like the employees so much the

employees, we know that when the doors closed, somebody's

crying don't open don't come in, right. So again, so that was,

again, the opening up of the challenge of like, people need this,

you're good at this, you have information this and they're

asking you, you don't have to offer now, and then my

friends at the same thing. And all of a sudden this machine.

So the calling was my dad, my dad dies, God within

this, that was years ago, years, he like over 13 years ago.

So 14 years ago. Anyway, I'm in Montreal, on on with my

sister driving to the funeral. And my sister is struggling

with a marriage. And so here I am. And she's asking questions,

as she says to be, by the way, at that time, I didn't really

want to do with this if it was compelled to keep digging and

learning. And she says to me, this was like a God moment.

And she says, she was my God, you're

amazing at this, you should teach this.

Okay.

All right. So then it became that moment, sort of a, this that cute,

I want to do I want to be the workshop leader, I want to teach

this to the masses. And that was the beginning of probably going off.

That's how it started. So I had two businesses for a long time

building this business. As the body shop is flying. So your head,

you're so you had your aha moment, then you're thinking,

Okay, this is bigger than my self. Now, your sister kind of

pushed her button in the sense of, Okay, put her finger on it.

And now you're doing it, you're teaching it. So let's talk for a

minute about your, what you did to change what you teach.

Now, what are some of the things that you teach? I'm talking

about process now? What are some things you teach in the

process to be helpful to people? What are? What can people expect to find? If they call upon you to help them?

Well, what we're like what I said earlier, is, it's where you don't

know this dangerous is where you don't know this messing you

up, it's where you don't know, that is a problem. You don't know,

you know, if you're a man, you don't understand women, you

don't know why they take things personally, why they're so sensitive,

why, you know, they they go from being okay, one second

and not okay, in a second and back to Okay, back to dinner,

in this way, the cheese gear, and we don't understand that.

And we get frustrated with that, which makes it a bit worse.

So it's, again, it's not understanding the mechanism, the operating

of a female and a male because we're completely different creatures.

And, and none understanding this, we know we're different,

but we think we're just a little different. But like, you know,

John Gray, Mars and Venus, which is one of the guys I've trained

with, that's the bit that's more like two different freaking

galaxies with that the same in any way. It's actually we're

completely will be completely in opposition, but we'll need to

complement it fit together. So until you understand that we're not

supposed to be the same. And the beauty of it all is that we're

not the same, but what I bring to my wife is something I don't,

she doesn't have and what she brings to me is the part that I

don't have masculine, feminine, ying yang, right? Leader

supportive kind of thing. There's, there's a, there's a, there's

a complimentary of each other's natural essence as

masculine, feminine. There's a polarity, that is natural,

like everything in nature is polarized,

ying yang, black, white magnets, right, positive, negative.

And so what's so what's your about if I'm understanding that

Andre is helping men to understand this a little better women,

women vice versa, and for them to understand each other?

Because there's a lack of understanding in all these areas,

people not understanding themselves, historically, not understanding

each other not understanding or having an appreciation of

the other gender. And so what's, what's an exercise?

Or what is something that you do for women, for instance,

that's helpful to them? What is one thing?

You help them to find a problem? What do you do to help them?

So I called it this is a term that was created by Dr. John Gray.

It's called Gender intelligence. Right? We have like intellectual

intelligence we have you know, I mean, there's different like,

emotional intelligence that we do this big. There are popular

terms. Gender intelligence, I tell I teach both men and women

if you're a woman, and want to be in a relationship with a

man, you have to cross the bridge into man world and try

to understand and really learn what motivates men. Why

they do what they do, why they tend to be stoic. They'll

share their feelings. It's not because they're jerks. And because

they're cold does that because we have no feelings. It's quite

the opposite. But there's a mechanism and instinctual mechanism

in place there for protection provision to handle my stuff

quietly to not be emotional, because emotionally you know, if I'm

emotional, I lose, I lose myself. So I'm gonna stay on track,

right? So there's all these instinctual pieces it just the way men

are wired naturally and to not understand that creates a lot

of confusion for athletes. So same thing with a man I go if

you want to be in relationship with a woman, right? Cross the

bridge to a woman world and go learn why women say I

need so little I can get it. Why they take everything personally,

why they get their fingers hurt so easily. Like why is that?

Again, it's all anthropological work. It's all based in our

caveman cavewoman in a hunter gatherer with a we

think we're beyond this, that we're educated evolved and

Okay, you've used the metaphor of crossing the bridge here,

go into man world for a woman for him, man go into a

woman world. What's What's one of those ways that you actually

take the steps for a man, woman world, for instance,

I teach them the operating system and a woman what

instinctively a woman needs to feel safe now, because if

you're just men don't know this, because we don't have ever

an awareness of feeling safe in the world needing to be

safe in the world, need to be connected to each other. Right?

Men are stoic, and they do well on their own. Women

need to feel safe in the world and feeling safe awareness,

connection, connection for me just talking, you know,

community relationships, that that's what they're looking

for all the time. So, if if we are stoic and tend to be aloof with this, it hurts their feelings.

Okay, so, so talking communication is a key to this. So if

the man is used to being a little bit on the stoic or aloof side,

to be very intentional about talking, even if he didn't like it that

much to do it is so part of your hair and you say, What's one

thing that the woman could do if she was going to man world

if she wants to try to break through those barriers or get across that bridge?

Beautiful question, what happens is because we're stalling

because we don't talk so much, because we can tend to hold

our feelings back and sort of bury them really just added protection.

Women think we're shallow women think we don't have feelings

when we think we're cold. When we think we're disconnected

when we think we're selfish. That's what it looks like, to a being

with us to connection to feel safe. We don't need that.

So not understanding that, you know, women of judgment,

get frustrated, and they're trying to change him. And that's

a terrible mistake as he was trying to change the man, you

don't get the man you don't respect the man, and he's

just kind of a trigger issue for a lot of men.

Anyhow, try to change me. You're right.

You can't it's disrespectful man. No self.

self respecting, maybe

Thank you, No self respecting man will stand for being control

or try somebody to change him. And if you don't get him,

you know, as women if you don't get him, which means

you don't understand why he's doing what he's doing and

decide he's going to have to do it your way, as a woman,

where you're more comfortable, it falls apart, and men just

jump off, and she thinks he's a jerk. But you can't do it.

That's not how it works. This is how you bring him into

adjusting for you. So that's what I'm teaching, understanding

the instinctual mechanism in place that how it works,

and how do you bring out the best in him. So you feel safe

and connected, he understands why, and you have to

meet in the middle I call the sweet spot

where you meet somewhere in the middle.

So the sweet spots where we're going so Andre,

who do you serve, and give me an example of a

person that you've that you have served.

So both men and women, I have a men's group and my

women's group, but I, the big world, like life changing

work is one on one clients, where women come at me

with injuries and both men and women who have injuries,

most of us nobody gets out of childhood unscathed.

So they between the age of five and 11 the formative

years as you know, this is where we make decision about

the world, ourselves life and people. And a lot of people

walk out of childhood with feelings of neglect, abandonment

and abuse on some level sometimes some people have

all three all the way up to sexual and you know, whatever.

So people to hurt people to insure it and we know that

if a little girl doesn't feel safe in the world, and there's all

the you know, something even abandonment even

though there's no physical trauma but abandonment is a

trauma so little girls who felt abandoned had to man up

and their feminine gets neglected as they grow up. That's

just one of the natural again, it's a defense mechanism.

Young men who don't get to man up No daddy, no role

model raised by a woman, Mama Bear. Be our cat castrated

and don't aren't aren't able to step into being masculine,

which destroys the quality of the license both sides so my

clients are people who realize the codon loop, right women

wants relationship but they can't even get a man to date

them a second time. They can't they can't get in relationship.

They can't sustain leadership is always the same disaster.

Then you realize, well, it's always me, right? I'm the

common denominator. Like I need to find out and that's those of my clients.

Yeah, this one As they come to you give you an

example of someone who's come to you, and they're

in your testimony, give me someone who has had some

good thing happen out of being going.

I have a bunch. So one thing you may not know is I officiate

weddings as well. So before COVID, I made I made for my

couples. I remember in one and I'm doing one in the end of

March, march 31. In Vegas, I'm flying to marry one of my

couples, I'm going to Texas in April, to marry another couple.

So I have one couple that just got married. So this Candace

is on the east coast. And she started with me, 14 months

ago, within four months, she found her husband, understanding

this whole thing, opening the channel, being feminine,

being willing to be in a relationship, understanding that

whole dance for herself for him, you know, bringing the

best out of each other. He was looking for a wife, you can

find anybody who was respectful, until she came along

and understood respect for men, and how to be cherishing

him was fantastic. So within a year, they got

married, and now she's pregnant.

Awesome, awesome. Good news there. So Andre, if

somebody if there's people out there who are women,

particularly but women in men and women event who

resonate with your story, and with what you have touched

on here about this dynamic between women and men,

and they want to get on that bridge, at least take a step

on that bridge that you talked about there.

What are they going to find if they go to Project Equinox?

So how can you be helpful to them?

So I have a gift for you listeners, if you want. Absolutely.

So so it's kind of twofold give depending on who's listening,

who wants whatever. So it typically, in podcasts, people

who show up in podcasts are looking for information.

But there are people who want listening something like

this more information. And so people will actually want

to jump in and work. I mean, there's two different types.

So I'm inviting your listeners to if you go to my email,

which is Andrecoachingthenumberone@gmail.com Just email

me and write in a text in the subject matter, irresistible book,

I will send them for free. There's a book that I sell called the

fly for many qualities, high value man, find absolute resistible.

Awesome, he's an ebook, you have a paperback and you

could have it like digitally. And I'll just send you for free.

It's something everybody else has to buy. If somebody is

more with action driven, wants to actually step in. In the

topic, again, email me Andre coaching, one at Gmail and

in in a subject matter just so just right talk now. And I will

send them a link to my calendar where they can put a

exploratory call with me for an hour, and we'll talk about

what's working with the challenge, where they see

themselves stuck, figure out what they want dream,

I called it, and then I'll discuss, you know how

I can help them. That call alone is super.

Great. Well, that sounds awesome. But the and we'll put

links to all of this. So your website, Projectequinox.net.

And the emails are such that you mentioned all that our

website, DrBradmiller.com. Fascinating story, Andre, just the

we'd like to talk here on Beyond diversity about kind of the

wilderness pathway that people go on in order to get to their

promised life. And that always has its ups and downs, and

it's highs and lows, but you have a fascinating one to go from

a difficult childhood and the things that had there and,

and then to the world of dance and entertainment and

wild living and that kind of thing, to have an automotive

shop. And now being a relationship coach in helping to

kind of nail this or really put some framework on this

nebulous area of the relationship between men and women

and understanding the other side. I love that metaphor

of the bridge, maybe we get more people on that bridge

to the other side. That can be a helpful thing. So great.

Well, we appreciate that's that's the mission as you say

you have a God set calling to do such and we do know this.

There's a lot of misunderstanding between men and women,

which leads to all kinds of other stuff. And we want to do

what we can be do to be helpful in that. Appreciate you

being with us, my friend. His name is Andre parody. That's

a P R A D I S. His website is projectequinox.net And he's

all about coaching and relationship coaching. And he's

been our guest today on the beyond adversity podcast

with Dr. Brad Miller. Andre, thank you for being our guest.