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154: The Two Most Powerful Words (Intro)
Episode 15413th December 2022 • Purpose Through Pain • Joseph James
00:00:00 00:41:37

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"I believe that we go through life's hell in the hallway or life's circumstances so that we can touch other people, because I believe deep down inside, we cannot touch what we cannot feel."

In this episode, Joseph discusses the power of words. As a speaker, he tackled this topic at an Arizona event. It is the two most powerful words on Earth, followed by everything. It can help anyone change and formulate someone's life.

He also shares his journey growing up in a very abusive home, where he dealt with rejection, feeling abandoned, constantly seeking approval, and limiting beliefs. 

When you're in that circumstance, in that predicament, in that challenge, it's not you versus the world and you versus you. It is you becoming an Alpha Leader.

Key Takeaways:

  • The two most powerful words that will change your life.
  • Flipping the script is just nothing more than taking something you can feel negatively and flipping that same thing into something positive.
  • Alpha is not about domineering. Alpha is about taking control of who you are.


Tweetable Moments:

  • "When you begin to lean on the circumstances, you can pull yourself out of what could have been a very dark and long road."
  • “Our words can speak life, but it can also speak death.”
  • "So just like the example of the dog, we cannot be affected by the world around us."
  • "Pain is life's greatest teacher and also life's biggest crutch."
  • "I am who God says I am."


Connect with Joseph James:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/meetjjames

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/252908273026721

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meetjosephjames/

Transcripts

Joseph: Hey everyone, and welcome to another great show of Purpose Through Pain Podcast. I am your host, Joseph James. Today I'm going to share with you the power of the words. Well, you gotta listen, however, it is the two most powerful words on Earth, and then of course, everything that's followed by it. And this is from me speaking at an event in Arizona recently, and I wanted to share this with you guys. So stay tuned and listen and see how this can help change and formulate your life.

Host1: He started as a client, and he very quickly became family. He has been amazing and we had talked about getting another dog, we have a lab who is a little bit older, and we're like, Hey, we're ready for that next dog for him to raise. So we started looking and I had mentioned something to Joe because if you don't know anything about Joe, he is a world renowned dog trainer, that is how he has made his success up until this point, that is what he had done is like dog training for all the pro athletes, like he's your guy. And he took it upon himself to call me every single time I went to a breeder, Hey, what'd you think? Send me a video of the puppy, send me a video of the litter, and I'm like, God, I need to be paying you to like help me choose out this dog, and he is like, I got it. Soon as I got the dog sends me a puppy training guide, just took it upon himself to help me the best he could. Literally, I had my puppy trained, potty trained in two weeks. Please tell me if you can party, train a fucking eight week puppy in two weeks, I was like, holy hell. I was like, this shit works. And he is like, yeah, you should see what I do with leadership, and I was like, oh, okay. And it's been amazing you know, we talk about like Jesse's had her journey, we've all had our journeys. Joe has taken principles that he has mastered in one industry with training alpha leaders within dogs and being able to adapt that to build alpha leaders in people. And it's amazing to see the synergy and to pick his brain and to hear about the synergy of all the things that he has done. And as amazing as he is, I am honored to call him family, I am honored to call him one of our very best friends, I'm honored to call him uncle Jojo, my son absolutely loves him, my son bit him in the leg last night, big bite mark on his khakis, I was like, oh Lord, and I was like, he's like, can I bite him back? I'm like, abso fucking please do, and I loved it right after, he is like, but we're good dude, and I just love it, and I just, I love him, I love that he is family. I'm gonna show you a brief video of his story, so you guys can understand how phenomenal this man is before he comes up, after the video, please stand on your feet and give this man the respect that he has definitely earned.

Joseph(video):…A very abusive home, I dealt with rejection, feeling abandoned, always seeking approval, and the biggest thing for me, limiting beliefs. I grew up hating my father because of the atmosphere in which I was raised in. Nothing was ever good enough in my dad's eyes. It led me to always seeking other people's approval, which led on to later issues in life, when my mother passed away, I really wished it was my dad, ‘cause I hated my dad. Fast forward 14 years, my dad died, my best friend only to be proceeded by my wife passing away, 22 days later, it again shook me to the core. My life felt like everything was just crumbling down on me, the world was spinning fast around me, I had no idea what to do. After going through that painful process of losing my dad and my wife all in the same month, I knew that I had to dig deep within myself. I had to lean on that upbringing and that influence I had as a young child of being groomed to be a leader. And when I began to lean on those circumstances, I was able to pull myself out of what could have been a very dark and long road. But instead, I started to see the light, but I started to see it all within myself, it wasn't just a light, it was a fire, it was a fire that was ignited deep inside me that was created through those circumstances. I believe that we go through life's hell in the hallway or life's circumstances so that we can touch other people, ‘cause I believe deep down inside we cannot touch what we cannot feel. I knew that the moment I felt those things in my life, I knew I was not the only one with this story, I knew I was not the only one that was going through these things, I knew the other people out there were going through those same exact circumstances, maybe it was the way I was brought up, maybe it was the circumstance of me losing my father and my wife, but I knew I wasn't alone and I knew if I needed help, I knew other people could use the help too. I believe that when you go through life's pain, whether it's of the divorce, whether it's the loss of a child, maybe it's even a loss of a job. We've all faced a big pandemic over the last couple years in this world that will shake and has rocked a lot of us throughout our life. I believe those circumstances right there, that we find out who we truly are, I believe that you are finding out who you truly are, I believe those things that you've gone through can be taken, learned from, to be taught to other people, because again, you cannot touch what you cannot feel. We go through these things in life so we can touch, so we can feel, so we can minister, so we can change, so we can influence the lives of other people. I believe your circumstances can be used to change your life. An Alpha Leader is these three things influence, transformation of the mind, and creating a more powerful identity of who you are. As a professional dog trainer, there are times that I have to select a dog for a specific job, this dog cannot just be any dog. He has to be able to have a strong, powerful identity within himself. What does that mean? It means he has to be able to walk through any type of environment, he has to be sound, he has to be, have strong nerves, he has to be a leader within himself. So just like the example of the dog, we cannot be affected by the world around us. Becoming an alpha leader allows us to work and focus on you versus you, the dog, the selection of the dog is him versus him becoming an alpha leader, when you're in that circumstance in life, when you're in that predicament, when you're in that challenge, it's not you versus the world, it's you versus you. It is you becoming that becoming an Alpha Leader. Again, my name is Joseph James. Be the leader, be the alpha leader with inside yourself.

Joseph: Wow. Thank you for that, thank you Minky. And guys, just, I want to tell y'all right here as I'm looking at you, thank you for showing up. Thank you for showing up these last two days, thank you for investing in yourself. Minky Travis, the whole next gen team, these amazing graphics to the graphic and media team. Thank you guys so much for allowing me to be able to share this with you. Thank you for the stages, we love you guys, and thank y'all.

I'll never forget the day that I was, I heard this comment, it was the first time I'd ever heard it and it was this right here, what are the two most powerful words in the earth? And as I'm sitting in a place just like this right here, I hear those people like yourself, everybody writing notes. The two most powerful words in the earth are, and then it got silent, everybody's sitting there thinking, now everybody's pins have stop, all of a sudden you hear, thank you, love you, then the Chick-fil-A guy says, my pleasure. As I begin to sit there and think, I was formulated in my own mind, what were those powerful words? What could it be that was so powerful that as this speaker began to speak, and he begin to ask through his questions, that it had everybody in silence. See these, these two particular words can either create life or create destruction. It can ignite and fire in you or it can put it out, it can take you from where you're at to where you need to be. See those two words were hitting at the core of so many people, but yet we didn't even know what it was. It was that powerful. I'm sure some of you're like, what is it? Well, before I tell you, I wanna share a story with you, is that okay?

Everyone:Yes.

kid you not, alright? Back in:

Much power. Power, I continue to heaven today, wait full out in this moment, you can release that negativity. It will never have control over you again, those was limiting beliefs I wouldn't have done, I wouldn't grow my business to seven figures in two and a half years if it was for limiting beliefs, never, never. I would not be up here speaking even though I used to speak on stages years ago, I would not be up here helping transforms lives if it was for my liberty and beliefs. So who is willing to be vulnerable, extremely vulnerable right now and stand up and read their negative thoughts? Anybody? Yes, ma'am.

Sarah: I said, I'm not enough, I will never be enough, and I'm not worthy.

Joseph: I'm not enough,I'll never be enough, and I am not worthy. So let me ask you this. Are these things that you told yourself this or people said that over you?

Sarah: It's not what people said. It was like the, like what I told myself due to circumstances.

Joseph: Absolutely. So I want you to close your eyes for a second, I just want you to close your eyes and everybody can close your eyes, I believe the first step in healing on anything is we have to do this one particular thing and us forgive yourself. So, I just want you to say out loud, I forgive myself.

Everyone: I forgive myself.

Joseph: Say it again.

Everyone: I forgive myself.

Joseph: Say it again.

Everyone: I forgive myself.

s after my dad passed away in:

Now, I want you to write down the opposite of that negative using I am.

I am not good enough, this whole weekend, it was almost like it was formulated for this talk ‘cause all day today we've talked about negative thoughts about money and how circumstances in life have created that belief system, we've talked about the four art types, the lover, the magician, the warrior, the king and queen. See some of you, when Travis began to talk about that, you immediately went to his, that's not me, that's not me, that's not me. And then when he began to share the shadows, you're like, yeah, that's more like me, I'm more like the tyrant, I'm more like the popper, I'm more like the bully, but I wanna encourage you guys today, you start saying, you start changing your language to I am the lover, I am the magician, I am the warrior, I am the queen for you ladies, and I am the king for you men. See, I truly believe Alpha is not about domineering, alpha's about just taking control of who you are. See, when I was going through everything, I began to just travel, after my wife and dad passed away, I began to travel and go everywhere, I kid you not everywhere for six straight weeks, I was gone one weekend after next, one weekend after next one after next, trying to find myself, seminars, workshops, apprenticeship programs, anything and everything, whether it was dog related or even personal development, I had nowhere I was going, had nowhere, I just simply knew that I didn't want to be where I was at, and so I began to tell myself over and over, I am going to change, I'm going to get out of this mindset, and over the, a journey of a and this, the journey still continues, but over that period of time, I began to find that my answers were not by going to another program, it wasn't reading another book. Sometimes it wasn't even talking to people that I love, it was simply pulling out everything that I already had inside of me. See, right now we sit in this room and every single one of you, I feel are completely equipped to do and conquer whatever it is that you want to in life. The only thing that's stopping you, is we can all sit there and say limiting beliefs, but go back a step, what causes limiting beliefs? It's the fact that when somebody said something to us, we didn't step and say, no, I don't think so, I'm not believing that over me. I refuse to even, just there's the hand, okay. And so I wanna see somebody else's vulnerable, that's willing to stand up and share both of them, somebody different than Sarah. Go ahead Zach, I got a microphone for you right here.

Zach: All right, I have trouble with being me, I don't know who my real father is, so yeah, like why didn't you want me type thing? So, yeah.

Joseph: So that's your negative?

Zach: Yeah, oh, you want positive?

Joseph: Yeah, oh, no. How much you share, okay, so your negative is I don't feel accepted, I feel abandoned, I don't feel worthy, I'm not worthy.

Zach: Yeah.

Joseph: What else?

Zach: I mean, I had a stepdad that was alcoholic and drug addict and always he abused me and told me I would've never talked to anything and stuff like that. So it's kind of been told that your whole life? No.

Joseph: Now what's your positive?

Zach: I am good enough, I am worthy, Love.

Joseph: Do you believe it?

Zach: Some days. Stop

Joseph: Oh, stay standing. No hugs right now, no hugs right now. There's a reason why I'm being quiet, guys. Sometimes when we go through things like this, it's just we're so quick to just try to hurry up and say what we want to say. Sometimes healing is just in quietness. I want you to read your positive statements again, but I want you to save from your heart.

Zach: I am worthy, I am more than enough.

Joseph: Say it again.

Zach: I am more than enough.

Joseph: Say it again.

Zach: I am more than enough.

Joseph: Say it again.

Zach: I am more than enough.

Joseph: Say it again.

Zach: I am more than enough.

Joseph: Say it again.

Zach: I am more than enough.

Joseph: Say it again.

Zach: I am more than enough.

Joseph: Say it to you, believe it.

Zach: We'll be here all day.

Joseph: Say it one more time.

Zach: I'm more than enough.

Joseph: You are more than enough. Matter of fact, enough doesn't even describe it.

Zach: Thank you.

Joseph: Look at me man, you're a warrior, you are that lover, you're that magician, you're the king, you're a fucking leader, but you're just not an ordinary leader, you're an alpha leader, man.

Zach: I could be.

Joseph: I want you to start reading those over yourself every single day, multiple times a day. Love you, dude.

Zach: Love you, too.

Audience: Can't write it down, stole my journal, just kidding.

Joseph: I want, tell me the negative.

Audience: I'm stupid.

Joseph: And who said that over?

Audience: I had a third grade teacher who perspectively, she was going through a divorce, but she told me because it, I have dyslexia, so I read backwards and I wasn't reading fast enough, so I was stupid.

Joseph: How'd that make you feel?

Audience: I stopped reading out loud.

Joseph: What else?

Audience: I had to constantly prove, that I was smart enough.

Joseph: What else?

Audience: Took me 17 years to get a Master's degree because I kept telling myself I was too stupid to get that.

Joseph: Do you know the power behind that?

Audience: Took me… 13 years longer?

Joseph: No, no, I didn't. You worked at something for 13 years that most people would've quit after two.

Audience: Almost did a couple times.

Joseph: That's determination, you can't teach that in schools, whether you have dyslexia or not, you can't teach effort, there's not a coach in this world, there's not a professional coach, Tim Gruber, who works with Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant could never teach them effort. That right there young lady's effort.

Audience: It's a lot of effort.

Joseph: A lot of effort.

Audience: Yeah.

Joseph: What's your positive?

Audience: So it's opposite, I am very smart and some people don't understand how smart I am.

Joseph: Are you just very smart or are you intelligent?

Audience: I'm educated, beyond my ears.

Joseph: Say it again.

Audience: And that intimidates people. I'm educated beyond my ears.

Joseph: Say it again.

Audience: I am educated beyond my ears.

Joseph: Say it again.

Audience: I'm educated beyond my years.

Joseph: Do you believe it?

Audience: Yes.

Joseph: You do believe it.

Audience: Mm(agreed)

Joseph: So why do you still feel the negative?

Audience: Well, trauma is literally bruising to the ego or body like a bruise. And sometimes there's still scars, so when we look at them, we're reminded, it doesn't mean it's still affects like is who we are.

Joseph: Good, good. Did you stop at your master's degree?

Audience: I'm going onto a PhD so I can change, therapy as it is, it doesn't have to take so long, we shouldn't have to be repeat clients, we should be able to change within a couple months.

Joseph: How many here have a PhD in here? How many of you here do not have dyslexia out of those people, raise your hands back, out of those people that do not have dyslexia, how many of you have a PhD? If you don't put your hand down, you've done something that none of us in this room have done, proud of you, proud of you, good, good, good.

Some of you may be asking the question, why do I ask them to repeat it multiple times? There's a thing that, in dog training, we, I teach, it's science and whether a puppy's come to me for, you know, eight weeks of age or even eight months or even eight years, is the repetitions of what they learned how to do things, okay? And there's a scientific term is called Herrnstein's matching law, okay. So let's just, for example, I am taking a dog to teach to walk outside, okay? And let's just say the dog is six months of age, owner had it from eight weeks, so two months has had it for four months, and every time they've gone to this door, they've opened the door and let the puppy run outside, use the bathroom, right? Because in Utah or in different places, who wants to walk out there in the freezing cold snow? Okay. We don't get snow in Louisiana, okay, unless we make it ourself, all right, and then it's a bad job. But when they do the repetitions time and time and time again, this puppy learns that it's okay just to walk out the back door. Well, I have to teach a puppy not to walk out the door, and so if it's had, let's just say for numbers sake, a thousand repetitions of running out the back door, I've gotta be able to match that number and then superseded. So I've gotta have a thousand sits at a minimum of teaching that puppy not to run out that door, to reprogram its mind of the belief that it's okay to run out the backyard. Well, if you guys have seen this backyard, it's fenced in, no harm, no foul if the puppy gets out, right? But what happens if it runs out, that one? car dogs don't understand things contextually like we do, contextually backyard, it's okay, contextually front yard is not okay, dog doesn't understand that, dogs sees door, door, okay. So herm scene's matching law is the fact that I've got to match that number. So if you think about it, and I know we'll probably never get to the exact number, but if you have believed for 40 years, I believed, and here was one thing, okay, 40 years, I believed that, I was never good looking, I just did because I had such low self-esteem, I had bottle coke, glasses, nasa, and I kind of shared data between the hub scope and you know what they had, okay. I kid you, all right. Worst thing in the world that ever came out was sports glasses, Eric Dickerson used to wear them. They were about this thick, and I kid you not, they were about, my lenses were about this thick. I always tell people, I says, the only reason why I'm probably married today is because I have contacts, okay? I would be able to see you coming from a mile away, at least, all right. Now, I can't see nothing, okay? But I lived that way for so many years, and after my wife passed, and dealing with rejection, I remember being on the phone with somebody and he said, Joseph, you're handsome. I said, what? Like you're handsome and I'm looking stare, I'm staring at the mirror and I'm like, you know what, you're right, I am handsome, matter of fact, I'm the sexiest man alive. GQ Magazine just hasn't called me, and that's okay, that's their loss, not mine. But what I had to do is start matching the fact of every time I thought I believed, I said that I was not good enough in something, I was not smart enough, I was not worthy, I was not accepted, I had to start flipping the script and saying, I am okay. I love you guys. And is it okay if I share with you guys my three I AM’s? Is that okay? My first one is, I am who God says I am, that's my personal belief, I am who God says I am. My second one kind of goes along with this right here, I'm an alpha leader, okay? And I love this so much because it's really allowed me to dig deep within myself, take a new meaning of what leadership is because I don't feel that you can lead other people until you do what? Learn how to lead yourself. So I am number one who God says I am, I'm creating in his likeness and image. Number two, I am an alpha leader, and number three, I am the hero that I will create myself to be. I love you guys, thank you so much.

Host 2: Let's give it up, Joe, give us your Batman voice, give us your Batman voice.

Joseph: Rachel. Thank you guys so much for coming to my domain, this the new Gotham City, Alpha Leadership, Gotham City. I'll let you be, well, Robin, I guess.

Host 2: I'm fucking Captain America, dude. I'm fucking Captain America

Joseph: I see it now. I'll still let you, right? Shotgun. How's that? We'll put Robin in the back seat.

Host 2: There we go. Give it up guys.

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