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156. Whats Next When Disaster Strikes Your Family with Dr. David Phelps the author of “What’s Your Next?: The Blueprint for Creating Your Freedom Lifestyle”
1st July 2021 • The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller • Dr Brad Miller
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Dr. David Phelps the author of "What's Your Next?: The Blueprint for Creating Your Freedom Lifestyle" is Dr. Brad Miller's guest on Episode 156 of the Beyond Adversity Podcast.

In an in-depth conversation, Dr. Phelps talks to Brad about what actions you can take when you are faced with profound adversity involving your family.

Dr. David Phelps owned and managed a private practice dental office for more than 21 years. While still in dental school, he began his investment in real estate by joint-venturing with his father on their first rental property in 1980. Three years later, they sold the property and David took His $25,000 capital gain share and leveraged it into 31 properties that later produced $15,000 monthly net cash flow.

Life was good, the sky was the limit –until the dark day that David’s daughter, Jenna, was diagnosed with Leukemia. In the midst of cancer treatments, epilepsy and ultimately a liver transplant for Jenna, David made the crucial decision to leave clinical practices so that he could spend every moment with his daughter.

David’s “Plan B” (a portfolio of cash-flow producing real estate assets) gave him the Freedom to focus 100% on what mattered most to him. Jenna won the battle with the disease, and David still enjoys the Freedom to cherish every moment with her that he can.

Today, David is a nationally recognized speaker on creating Freedom, building real businesses, and investing in real estate. He also combines his professional and personal experiences to illustrate how the tactical and aspirational work together. David helps other logical, rational professionals become dreamers, then strategically manifest those dreams into Freedom. He authors a monthly newsletter, "Path to Freedom" and hosts "The Dentist Freedom Blueprint" podcast. Freedom Founders Mastermind Community grows exponentially, year by year, providing the pathway to Freedom for many professionals.

David is the author of What’s Your Next: The Blueprint for Creating Your Freedom Lifestyle, along with two other books: The Apprentice Model: A Young Leader’s Guide to an Anti-Traditional Life and From High Income To High Net Worth for Dentists.

www.FreedomFounders.com and www.DoctorPhelps.com

The Beyond Adversity Podcast has the mission of helping people to face and navigate adverse life events and emerge to a life of peace, prosperity, and purpose. Beyond Adverity is Published weekly by Dr. Brad Miller, DMin

www.drbradmiller.com

Transcripts

Brad Miller:

Dr. Brad Miller here with you on beyond

Brad Miller:

adversity the podcast where we help you to navigate adverse

Brad Miller:

conditions in your life and to emerge with freedom and with

Brad Miller:

victory. And we do that by having teaching and leadership

Brad Miller:

and talking with people who have had their own sets of challenges

Brad Miller:

to overcome, and can help you in certain aspects of life to

Brad Miller:

navigate those. And that's the case today. Dr. David Phelps is

Brad Miller:

our special guest here on beyond adversity. He is managed and had

Brad Miller:

a private dental practice for 21 years. And he also got involved

Brad Miller:

with investing in real estate, joint venture with his father

Brad Miller:

and, and they became quite successful at those aspects in

Brad Miller:

life. And life was good life was perkin, along until he had a

Brad Miller:

episode happen, which kind of caused his world to come

Brad Miller:

crashing down. And that's what we're going to talk about here

Brad Miller:

for a few minutes. his upcoming book is called what's your next,

Brad Miller:

the blueprint for creating your freedom lifestyle? You can find

Brad Miller:

him at Dr. phelps.com. Our guest today on beyond adversity, Dr.

Brad Miller:

David Phelps. Welcome,

David Phelps:

Brad. Greg, glad to be here. Thank you for having

David Phelps:

me today. Awesome.

Brad Miller:

So glad to have you with us here today. And, and

Brad Miller:

your book is going to be a story and a process for helping people

Brad Miller:

to succeed, freedom and financial and so on, and some

Brad Miller:

aspects of that. But I also know that you had a turning point in

Brad Miller:

your life, and our audience is all about helping people to

Brad Miller:

navigate adverse conditions. So I'd like to tell you a little

Brad Miller:

bit about your story, how, you know, maybe a little bit how you

Brad Miller:

got the dental practice. But what came what was a turning

Brad Miller:

point in your life to help you dictate this, this road towards

Brad Miller:

writing and leadership into your teaching your freedom?

David Phelps:

Yeah, Brad, you know, I grew up in a very strong

David Phelps:

Christian family, a mother and father who stayed together, I

David Phelps:

certainly would not without typical conflict. But I was the

David Phelps:

eldest of, of with two other siblings to two younger sisters.

David Phelps:

And, gosh, looking back with what I know, today, had a pretty

David Phelps:

good lifestyle, responsible family, not entitled family, but

David Phelps:

just good foundations. And so I never really had the

David Phelps:

opportunity. And I and he's this opportunity to experience any

David Phelps:

real, serious setbacks in my life as a young person. Life

David Phelps:

Life was good enough, I didn't have to work hard and do things

David Phelps:

through school, and I wasn't, you know, a super gifted

David Phelps:

athlete, or super, super gifted intellectual, I had to work. But

David Phelps:

nevertheless, looking back on my life, it was it was a good life.

David Phelps:

And so I went into my adult life, after Training College and

David Phelps:

dental school and, you know, got into dentistry. I've always been

David Phelps:

a person who has been very curious, you know, outside my,

David Phelps:

my focus training. And so, yeah, when I was in college, I was

David Phelps:

reading books on, you know, how to be a good steward of your

David Phelps:

your investment capital, right. I mean, that's one thing we're

David Phelps:

taught is to be a good steward. So I didn't have any of that

David Phelps:

time. But I thought, well, I need to think ahead, because

David Phelps:

always a long term planner. So I read books about the real estate

David Phelps:

and real books about stock market. And I thought real

David Phelps:

estate makes sense. So I kind of do things in tandem, I got

David Phelps:

started in practicing dentistry. And I also started learning how

David Phelps:

to invest in real estate. Probably a little too much to

David Phelps:

take on, but I was early married, but but no children for

David Phelps:

the first nine years on purpose. So that gave me a little bit of

David Phelps:

chance to focus on those things that maybe I wouldn't have had,

David Phelps:

I started early with children. At 32, my wife and I, and such a

David Phelps:

blessing. age two and a half, she is diagnosed with high risk

David Phelps:

leukemia. so so good, this is something I hadn't faced with

David Phelps:

my, with my family, at least not with my family of origin. And so

David Phelps:

I was I was kind of in denial, which I think probably is not

David Phelps:

not uncommon to go into denial, particularly for someone like

David Phelps:

me, who always thought I had control that as long as I was a

David Phelps:

hard worker, and I did the right thing that I could control. I

David Phelps:

was gonna have the perfect life, the perfect family, it was going

David Phelps:

to be all good. Well, this this blew it did blow up my world.

David Phelps:

And without going into great detail, you can ask any

David Phelps:

questions today as you wish that would help your listeners but my

David Phelps:

daughter, our daughter, our daughter, Jennifer survived

David Phelps:

leukemia is three years of God just call it hell on earth. You

David Phelps:

don't know what you don't know. People that are listening today

David Phelps:

probably have similar circumstances that they were

David Phelps:

thrown under and you have no training for this. So our

David Phelps:

marriage to Jenna's mother didn't survive that. No, there's

David Phelps:

no blame. There is absolute no blame. In fact, today I I

David Phelps:

acknowledge Jen's mother as really her primary advocate that

David Phelps:

probably saved her life going through all the treatment of

David Phelps:

hospitalizations. So we we figured out how to be a co

David Phelps:

parents in a world where we were no longer living together. So

David Phelps:

that's the good thing that came out of that part of the while

David Phelps:

that first adversity, it also it also shook me up a little bit,

David Phelps:

not completely. You guys kind of got back to the old David, where

David Phelps:

I just kind I've dug back in and I'm going to build back up and

David Phelps:

I'm going to be successful again and no financial issues aside,

David Phelps:

I'm going to get back and do it again. And then Jana was not

David Phelps:

through with her health issues. See, she's suffered uncontrolled

David Phelps:

epileptic seizures for a number of years, while she was between

David Phelps:

the ages of eight and 12. And at age 12, she ended up in end

David Phelps:

stage liver failure, a combination of all the

David Phelps:

chemotherapy she had, during her years of leukemia treatment, and

David Phelps:

also the seizure medications, the combination caused her liver

David Phelps:

to go into breakdown. And so at age 12, she needs a liver. And

David Phelps:

it was during the time that she was in the hospital recovering,

David Phelps:

which was not easy. It's not you don't go in go out that I really

David Phelps:

had time to reflect. Really, probably when the first times in

David Phelps:

many years, I had time to actually be quiet. And this is

David Phelps:

gonna be part of your question. So I won't go deep here. But be

David Phelps:

quiet and think and reflect. What is this all about? What is

David Phelps:

David Phelps all about? What am I really here on earth to do?

David Phelps:

Was it the things I thought I was supposed to do? And so I had

David Phelps:

a big turning point there. So I'll stop there, because I could

David Phelps:

go on. And

Brad Miller:

that's okay. That's the drama and the trauma that

Brad Miller:

you experience with your daughter. And then you kind of

Brad Miller:

multiply that with a divorce and you know, whatever happened

Brad Miller:

there, and then your own self introspection, just that your

Brad Miller:

world was rocked wasn't your complacency, whatever was going

Brad Miller:

on in your world. in your life, you were probably you know, in

Brad Miller:

some form or another, we're kind of cruising along, you said,

Brad Miller:

your family of origin. I didn't have any dramatic health issues

Brad Miller:

or things of this nature. And now you're dealt with this. And

Brad Miller:

even though you had, you know, I know a dentist isn't exactly an

Brad Miller:

MD, but still you have a medical orientation. Even with that you

Brad Miller:

are rocked. So you have to change, you have to do

Brad Miller:

something. So what are some of the things that you did to help

Brad Miller:

you change? You said, you talked about having a time of

Brad Miller:

introspection? What were some of the things that changed you

Brad Miller:

internally, which then you were then manifested, in terms of how

Brad Miller:

you sought the freedom lifestyle that you have now?

David Phelps:

Well, it changed. It changed my priorities. It

David Phelps:

made me really think what is really important. And so often,

David Phelps:

I think we all take certain parts of life for granted the

David Phelps:

good times the good things, the good relation, whatever we're

David Phelps:

blessed to have, we can take it for granted. I certainly did. I

David Phelps:

took a lot of things for granted that realize were not under my

David Phelps:

control. Some things are some things are, you know, health

David Phelps:

situations, maybe Maybe yes, maybe no, this case, Jenna's

David Phelps:

health issue was was not anybody's no car, no cars on

David Phelps:

anybody's part, it just was a situation there. So I think what

David Phelps:

it did for me was was maybe go deep and decide, where did my

David Phelps:

focus need to be? Yes, I still have to be responsible

David Phelps:

financially. Absolutely. I still have to be able to support my

David Phelps:

family, my daughter, but but I was doing it in such a way that

David Phelps:

I believe Brad, and I'm probably not a typical a lot of driven

David Phelps:

people. But that drive can be what I call today, winning

David Phelps:

winning at the wrong game. What your what what what game in

David Phelps:

other words, in life in my in my focused on it, I was I was

David Phelps:

winning at one game, but I wasn't winning at the right

David Phelps:

game, the right game, is I came full circle back round was, was

David Phelps:

I needed to to be cognizant of the blessings I had, which was

David Phelps:

was was a family where you know, a daughter, her daughter who had

David Phelps:

survived some some serious health issues. But that was

David Phelps:

God's blessing. You know, that may not happen the next time,

David Phelps:

you know, is there gonna be a next time. And so I really had

David Phelps:

to decide, where did I need to be showing up? And so I quickly

David Phelps:

made a decision that year, that was some 16 years ago, that I

David Phelps:

was gonna sell my practice. Now. Yeah. Now, I'm not saying that

Brad Miller:

that was had had a dramatic thing for you to decide

Brad Miller:

to do even though you were had some good reasons for it still

Brad Miller:

had to be a dramatic sign for you.

David Phelps:

Yeah, I'm not saying that's easy. I'm not

David Phelps:

saying that everybody can do that. And just let go of a

David Phelps:

career or responsibility or a business or a job. I'm not

David Phelps:

saying that's easy. I fortunately, I did have some

David Phelps:

real estate investments I've been building up over the years,

David Phelps:

that gave me a little bit of a platform to do that. But I was

David Phelps:

not, I was not magnanimously wealthy. It all I had to make

David Phelps:

some tough decisions. But, but those types of decisions were

David Phelps:

easier because it was about my daughter and realizing that I if

David Phelps:

I didn't make some changes, I might miss out completely. So So

David Phelps:

I made that decision. While she was in the hospital, I'm gonna

David Phelps:

sell this practice. And and so I went forth and did that.

Brad Miller:

So your drive went from one track to another track,

Brad Miller:

and it was driven in many ways or that pivot became your

Brad Miller:

daughter's health issues. And they changed you internally. So

Brad Miller:

you made that dramatic. I call the bold actions to simply

Brad Miller:

actions when we take a big shift there. And that means, you know,

Brad Miller:

sometimes those come crashing down and sometimes they're good,

Brad Miller:

but they always change us, don't they? They always do always

Brad Miller:

changes. So let's talk about the changes within you for a second.

Brad Miller:

How and what we talked about being introspective a minute

Brad Miller:

ago, David Let's talk about that for a second, let's talk about

Brad Miller:

the inner life about how you mentioned you had a religious

Brad Miller:

upbringing, and whatever it was, was there any way that connected

Brad Miller:

to something beyond yourself, maybe it was a love of your

Brad Miller:

daughter, maybe it was something else that tell us about any kind

Brad Miller:

of a source or power greater than yourself, that was a part

Brad Miller:

of this formation of leading you in the track you're on now.

David Phelps:

I think when we are in a position where we

David Phelps:

realize some time in our life, that we aren't in control of

David Phelps:

everything. And yes, you're right, I came from a religious

David Phelps:

background, but my faith had really never been tested. And

David Phelps:

therefore I don't think I really had dug down and, and during the

David Phelps:

times that Jenna was, you know, in crisis, so not only during

David Phelps:

the liver transplant, but with leukemia, she there was times

David Phelps:

when she was in a coma, and it was just, you know, that's when

David Phelps:

I decided, you know, it's, it's a good time to, to, to, to build

David Phelps:

my, to increase my relationship, within my faith with God, and,

David Phelps:

and, and to pray and praying, maybe a little bit like

David Phelps:

meditation, I look at prayer as, as something that, you know,

David Phelps:

we're asking for help and guidance and wisdom and

David Phelps:

discernment. But I think as we pray this is just for me, is I

David Phelps:

feel like, it's also as we pray, we are also in reflecting,

David Phelps:

there's a meditative part of praying, that also changes how

David Phelps:

we think. And when we change how we think, then we'll start to,

David Phelps:

then we have the opportunity to change how we behave, which

David Phelps:

changes therefore our actions, I think it comes from full soccer,

David Phelps:

soccer, all around to what you talk about is transformation.

David Phelps:

But it starts with how we think and so if you don't change your

David Phelps:

thinking about whatever it is you're involved in, or the

David Phelps:

adversity you're in, if you don't change what that looks

David Phelps:

like, then you may just keep trying to drive through it. And

David Phelps:

that's usually not going to probably make a big difference,

David Phelps:

in my opinion.

Brad Miller:

Okay, well, let's talk for, you know, a minute

Brad Miller:

about relationships, you know, you mentioned about the power of

Brad Miller:

your relationship with your daughter, how that sort of been

Brad Miller:

so influential on you. But I think you've I know, part of you

Brad Miller:

also did some business with your father and things like that. But

Brad Miller:

transformation takes place in many different forms, including

Brad Miller:

relationships, sometimes those are even relationships that are,

Brad Miller:

you know, like books we read, and things like that. But tell

Brad Miller:

us about influences in your life and support, or even challenges

Brad Miller:

you may had in relationships that help to form you to

Brad Miller:

structure you're going yet you have shifted to now, the power

Brad Miller:

of relationships loving or otherwise.

David Phelps:

Right? Fortunately, the majority of my

David Phelps:

relationships have been on the positive side, I think that

David Phelps:

you're right, there can be certainly toxic relationships

David Phelps:

that can hold one bag that can enable behavior, that's not

David Phelps:

helping us. But But I had I developed over the years, you

David Phelps:

know, some close relationships with, with, with other men in

David Phelps:

different disciplines, from different areas, that, that I

David Phelps:

look to as mentors. And initially, they were mentors

David Phelps:

really kind of on the financial side and business side. But

David Phelps:

also, this, and I'm talking about few I'm talking about no

David Phelps:

more than a handful, four or five, not a, not 10 or 15, but

David Phelps:

four or five, that I had spent time with, and I, you know,

David Phelps:

developed a trust, which is I think important to trust,

David Phelps:

because not only did I find that they were had wisdom about

David Phelps:

certain things about life and finance and business but but

David Phelps:

also, as I got to know, this select view that they also had

David Phelps:

values about life, and it wasn't all about making money or this

David Phelps:

or that, but also it was like how they live their life. And I

David Phelps:

think that's important to me, if I'm going to follow advice from

David Phelps:

people I want that is closely aligned to what my beliefs are.

David Phelps:

So going through those difficult times. It's very important, I

David Phelps:

believe that if you don't do it solo, you don't do by yourself,

David Phelps:

you need to be able to, to reach out, you need to be able to

David Phelps:

express the anx, the the anger, the frustration, the despair,

David Phelps:

all those emotions, you've got to be expressed those, because

David Phelps:

if you contain them inside, which is typical of people like

David Phelps:

me, I suppress, suppress, suppress them, then you harbors

David Phelps:

inside and that can do all kinds of negative things. So you've

David Phelps:

got to be let that out. But you can only let it out, I think

David Phelps:

with people that you have formed those relationships. So having

David Phelps:

those few people to talk to during those times when things

David Phelps:

were spinning and trying to get some clarity and some

David Phelps:

objectivity. Am I doing the right thing? Am I making hasty

David Phelps:

decisions was really a big help for me. And I tell people today

David Phelps:

that relationship capital is one of most important things we have

David Phelps:

in you know, are our assets.

Brad Miller:

And let's let's talk about assets that a minute

Brad Miller:

because you're talking about relationship capital being a

Brad Miller:

great asset. But one of the things we have to do as we

Brad Miller:

navigate adversity is to understand that there are things

Brad Miller:

that can keep us stuck that we can get over in a ditch or

Brad Miller:

something like that in relationships is certainly one

Brad Miller:

of them. And certainly we can be motivated by some dramatic

Brad Miller:

events like we've talked about, but there's several different

Brad Miller:

areas people can get stuck. You know, word living this type of

Brad Miller:

COVID crisis, some people have gotten really wrapped up and

Brad Miller:

really caught up in that with, with having their bit being

Brad Miller:

depressed and other things that are going on other people

Brad Miller:

actually have to deal with the disease itself. And some people

Brad Miller:

have been an economic disaster for them. And it's a stress. And

Brad Miller:

I want to talk to you about some of the things that you have

Brad Miller:

advocated doing to help people you're the theme of your book is

Brad Miller:

freedom, right? So freedom when you indicate that we are trying

Brad Miller:

to moving from stress to freedom. So let's talk about

Brad Miller:

some of the habits, the practices of it, particularly

Brad Miller:

your book is focused on personal finances, but debt and finances

Brad Miller:

is certainly one of those great stressors that people have, it

Brad Miller:

gets them gets stuck. So let's talk for a minute about some of

Brad Miller:

the things that you advocate and do that people can begin to

Brad Miller:

relieve some stresses in their life and to have, among other

Brad Miller:

things, financial freedom, what are some of the things that you

Brad Miller:

have?

David Phelps:

Well, the first thing that I would say, Brad, is

David Phelps:

that many times in life, we feel like, it's just us that, you

David Phelps:

know, life is not fair. And what's happening to us, whether

David Phelps:

it's decisions we made, didn't make or didn't have any control

David Phelps:

over that, you know, it's it's just me, and there's something

David Phelps:

wrong with me, and why am I a quote, loser? Because it seems

David Phelps:

like the world today, particularly with social media,

David Phelps:

is all about, you know, living the big live the good life, and

David Phelps:

everybody's just, you know, doing great. You got to be with

David Phelps:

people again, with that you trust So, so again, I would say

David Phelps:

that, that one of the practices is to, you know, to have a

David Phelps:

group, it could be a close inner group of five, or you could be

David Phelps:

part of some other community or it could be a mastermind group,

David Phelps:

it could be a, you have your own informal, informal board of

David Phelps:

advisors, just like big companies have boards, advisor

David Phelps:

advisors, you know, who's your informal board, and, you know,

David Phelps:

to be a part of a group that really allows you to be

David Phelps:

vulnerable. Most of the time, when we, when we show up

David Phelps:

somewhere at meetings, or conferences, or industry or

David Phelps:

trade association meetings, you kind of have to put on this kind

David Phelps:

of ego badge and Buck up and just look like you know, you got

David Phelps:

the world by the tail. And that's so often not true.

David Phelps:

There's usually something that's nagging something that's not

David Phelps:

working out, well, something that's bothering us, but But who

David Phelps:

do you talk to about it? And if you again, if you can't express

David Phelps:

it, if you're not in a place where you can talk about it, how

David Phelps:

can you start to get clarity, when we went through the COVID

David Phelps:

shutdown earlier this year, you know, part of the group that I

David Phelps:

work with, they are a lot of dentists and medical medical

David Phelps:

practitioners. And again, the shutdown that happened that put

David Phelps:

them, you know, put their businesses at great risk for

David Phelps:

two, two and a half months. It was very stressful. We had zoom

David Phelps:

calls, you know, every week where we just got together, we

David Phelps:

talked through it, we we brought some industry experts, and at

David Phelps:

the end of that period of time, the people that were part of the

David Phelps:

group said, this was so inspiring. Yes, it was difficult

David Phelps:

at first, yes, we weren't sure we're going to get through it.

David Phelps:

But because they were doing it together, finding other people

David Phelps:

that are on the same path and not a perfect path, not a path.

David Phelps:

It's just directed at pure success. But the step backs the

David Phelps:

the switchbacks are things that we deal with in life, we've got

David Phelps:

to acknowledge that that's part of life, and it's okay. It's

David Phelps:

okay not to have it all figured out. It's okay to have to deal

David Phelps:

with these things. We're not alone. The aloneness I think, is

David Phelps:

one of the big problems that a lot of people didn't try to take

David Phelps:

it on by themselves. And that's, that's really,

Brad Miller:

really, really so and the group you're a part of

Brad Miller:

was a solid was a big, big aspect was support was any of

Brad Miller:

that kind of unaccountability or trying to keep making sure

Brad Miller:

people were making progress and not being stuck? You know, or

Brad Miller:

whatever. I was a part of this as well.

David Phelps:

Absolutely. Just Yeah, just just clarity about

David Phelps:

what steps can be taken right now even because you you can't

David Phelps:

do the things you're normally doing. You don't go to work

David Phelps:

right now. Because you can't go to work, you're not showing up

David Phelps:

your staffs not there, your customers, patients, clients

David Phelps:

aren't showing up. So so what what can you be doing right now,

David Phelps:

to, to, to do to bridge bridge that gap to when are you going

David Phelps:

to go back. So you know, communication, you know, was a

David Phelps:

big part, you know, communicating with people, even

David Phelps:

if it was virtually just keeping a pulse keeping because, because

David Phelps:

we're responsible for a lot of people, ourselves, our families,

David Phelps:

but also if you if you have a business, you've got employees,

David Phelps:

staff, people, and then of course, your customers, clients,

David Phelps:

patients, everybody, you know, was stressed out. And so

David Phelps:

stepping up and being leaders, even though we are fraught a lot

David Phelps:

of times with, with, with fear, it's saying, look, I need to

David Phelps:

step up and be a leader, I don't have to know it all. I don't

David Phelps:

have to be perfect, but I just need to be able to be a good

David Phelps:

communicator to those that are looking to me to be to be some

David Phelps:

kind of leader and we'll do this together, we'll figure it out

David Phelps:

together. And I think it was a big part.

Brad Miller:

And a part of that is being engaged with the

Brad Miller:

process. And the temptation is to disengage or to to step back,

Brad Miller:

especially when bad things happen to us adversity happens,

Brad Miller:

certainly kind of the common adversity of the COVID crisis in

Brad Miller:

the last year. And so, what we do makes a difference to seek

Brad Miller:

freedom. So let's what, let's talk some more about your book

Brad Miller:

then about some of the things that you advocate. What do you

Brad Miller:

if someone's going to pick up your book, David? What are they

Brad Miller:

going to learn? What are you going to teach us? What is This,

Brad Miller:

you call it the blueprint? So what are some of the aspects of

Brad Miller:

the blueprint for your freedom lifestyle?

David Phelps:

Well, like like you, Brad, I have some

David Phelps:

frameworks and one of my frameworks if you can picture a

David Phelps:

triangle, or pyramid, some some people are probably familiar

David Phelps:

with Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I know you are. Yes, I

David Phelps:

am. So I took a little bit of his pyramid, but I changed it up

David Phelps:

a little bit, but it still falls a little bit. And at the bottom

David Phelps:

of the pyramid, the base of the pyramid, where Maslow has

David Phelps:

survival, minus minus financial freedom. Look, a big part of

David Phelps:

everybody's life is paying the bills having enough to support

David Phelps:

the family and the needs, right. And, and so there's always a

David Phelps:

focus on that, that was always my big focus when I was young. I

David Phelps:

never knew how much was enough. So I was a big driver for

David Phelps:

financial freedom. So yes, you need to have some financial

David Phelps:

security, if you can, if you can get to a point in your life

David Phelps:

where lifestyle entitlement is not just eating up every bit of

David Phelps:

your income, you've got some margin. So you can have got some

David Phelps:

breathing room, then when when tough times calm, it reduces the

David Phelps:

stress. So financial freedom, whether it's through income or

David Phelps:

investments, it's a big part or combination thereof is a big

David Phelps:

part of what I teach. The next level up from there is time

David Phelps:

freedom. I, you know, I talked earlier about the fact that I

David Phelps:

was such a driver that I didn't take time, or didn't didn't

David Phelps:

respect time in my early life, like I do today, time with

David Phelps:

people with relationships with making memories. So financial

David Phelps:

freedom allows you to have time frame because you're not always

David Phelps:

having to drive drive drive. The next one is we've already talked

David Phelps:

about is relationships, are you able to engage in relationships,

David Phelps:

because you choose to engage them and you're not doing things

David Phelps:

or engaging with people because you feel like you have to that

David Phelps:

could be who you work with your staff, your employees, it could

David Phelps:

be who your client base is? Are you working with people because

David Phelps:

you enjoy them? Your vendors? Are you working with vendors?

David Phelps:

Because you enjoy? Or are you being compressed to have to do

David Phelps:

things again, because you haven't built the earlier

David Phelps:

freedoms. The fourth one on that pyramid is health. How many

David Phelps:

times do because of stress, stressful times adversity, and

David Phelps:

I've done this, we put off our health? Well, I'll get back to

David Phelps:

that. When I get these things in order. The problem is, we need

David Phelps:

self care. When we're going through stressful times, it's

David Phelps:

the worst time to to to abdicate your self care in terms of

David Phelps:

health. If you you need to have some regimen goes to your what

David Phelps:

you've asked about me about habits, you need to keep doing

David Phelps:

things that allow you to stay physically healthy nutrition and

David Phelps:

health is important to keep you are able to move through the

David Phelps:

difficult times. And then the top of the pyramid is very

David Phelps:

similar to Maslow's is the self actualization, which I just

David Phelps:

interpret that as its significance, purpose, meaning,

David Phelps:

what's your what you know, what's your real why in life?

David Phelps:

And so going through the book, these frameworks allow people or

David Phelps:

give them permission to number one, ask them the questions that

David Phelps:

we talked about today. What is my real purpose? Am I driving

David Phelps:

towards that? What's missing in the frameworks, and to allow

David Phelps:

people to do to always consider in life, the opportunity to

David Phelps:

evolve to iterate that's what's your next, instead of thinking

David Phelps:

about a career path of being 3035 or 40 years doing the same

David Phelps:

thing, maybe just improving your skill sets a little bit, which

David Phelps:

is always the thing to do. But what else can I do to expand my

David Phelps:

skill sales skill sets, expand my horizons, so that I'm always

David Phelps:

have a chance to to make a move, I made a big move in my life.

David Phelps:

Yes, I went from a career in dentistry to to a totally

David Phelps:

different life. But it's it's had great, great meaning for me

David Phelps:

to do that I was pushed to do it. But why don't give yourself

David Phelps:

permission to expand and not just be focused on one thing

David Phelps:

that says this is your industry, this is your degree, this is who

David Phelps:

you are, wear that hat, this is how you behave. I think you've

David Phelps:

got to allow yourself room and freedom to expand those horizons

David Phelps:

into what's your next.

Brad Miller:

Yes, that's awesome way of looking at there. And the

Brad Miller:

I hadn't even thought about passes hierarchy for a while,

Brad Miller:

and certainly is great significance to our conversation

Brad Miller:

here. Because you want to get to the top right, but you can't get

Brad Miller:

to the top without the foundation. And so that purpose,

Brad Miller:

you don't know the word you I think you kind of start with the

Brad Miller:

purpose and the vision. But you got to build build up to that

Brad Miller:

you got to build the foundation, you can't have the whole pyramid

Brad Miller:

without all those aspects here. So tell us about if some body or

Brad Miller:

I'd like to hear a story about how some person or some

Brad Miller:

situation you may have been involved with how you've seen

Brad Miller:

that happen, how their lives being rebuilt a little bit,

Brad Miller:

maybe someone you've worked with in your coaching or who's read

Brad Miller:

some of your work, because there are people out in your life who

Brad Miller:

you've seen had some transition and transformation because of

Brad Miller:

what you've been able to teach and lead.

David Phelps:

Yeah, absolutely. I think I think even most

David Phelps:

recently, you know, in tandem, you know, we talked about COVID

David Phelps:

and I think COVID while it's been and still is a certainly a

David Phelps:

big concern and causing stress for many people's lives. The

David Phelps:

time that it allowed, particularly back in earlier

David Phelps:

part of last year, for that reflection, a lot of the people

David Phelps:

that we work with, when that reflective mode, I think maybe

David Phelps:

for the first time they really hadn't got a chance to Look at

David Phelps:

that top of the pyramid and think about what is my real

David Phelps:

purpose and significance. So for example, we I can think of one

David Phelps:

of our members is a periodontist and gum specialist. She, she's a

David Phelps:

female her husband is in is in software engineering. And they

David Phelps:

have two sons that are 1718. So they're right between that high

David Phelps:

school going to college era. And she told me that she said during

David Phelps:

COVID, you know, a lot of kids came back home schools or

David Phelps:

schools are closed down online. So in fact, I heard this from

David Phelps:

several members, they got I

Brad Miller:

had the same experience myself, my college

Brad Miller:

senior last year had to move home suddenly and ruin his

Brad Miller:

senior year and Okay,

David Phelps:

well, it ruin their senior year. But the thing

David Phelps:

I heard from the parents, and I think the kids will also, at

David Phelps:

least in time, respect us, even though I understand it's

David Phelps:

disrupting to their, to their, to their focus in life. It gave

David Phelps:

a lot of these parents, when they call it a second chance, or

David Phelps:

a second opportunity, maybe not second chance, a second

David Phelps:

opportunity to spend some more time with that adult child who

David Phelps:

was getting ready to leave the nest and how much they enjoyed

David Phelps:

that time and how much they really said, you know, what, if

David Phelps:

I can't go to work, and and Johnny or Susie can't be off at

David Phelps:

school, then how do we make the most of this time? What do we do

David Phelps:

with his time, and there was some really some, some great

David Phelps:

stories of families coming back together. And I think I think

David Phelps:

that really started to sync with some of the the driven business

David Phelps:

owners to think, you know, should I keep running or driving

David Phelps:

on the same path I've been doing? Why can't I? How can I

David Phelps:

not? Why can't I but also, how can I make some changes doesn't

David Phelps:

mean you have to sell your practice, but maybe there's some

David Phelps:

changes you can make by bringing in a partner selling part of the

David Phelps:

practice, looking for the opportunity to now you know, go

David Phelps:

to their next and do it sooner and not wait for some industry

David Phelps:

or societal standard and says, You work until you're 65, then

David Phelps:

you quote, retire. See, I don't I don't like that model. And I

David Phelps:

think that's a very industrial age model that what comes from

David Phelps:

from a generate generations ago. And it's we're way past that. So

David Phelps:

we shouldn't think in terms of retirement, we should just think

David Phelps:

about what's our next.

Brad Miller:

Yes, what's our next? Well, that's awesome. And

Brad Miller:

it shows that that person had that second chance, I had the

Brad Miller:

same traits myself, my two adult sons, after being an empty

Brad Miller:

nester for several years, I didn't move at home during the

Brad Miller:

COVID crisis. And so it's been it's been a bit of a mixed bag.

Brad Miller:

But also, like you said, a second opportunity to rebuild

Brad Miller:

relationships. And really, what's what's you know, what

Brad Miller:

we've talked about freedom here, Dave, we're really talking about

Brad Miller:

values in our lives that we enhance. And if our values are

Brad Miller:

based on just succeeding financially, only then that's

Brad Miller:

not a complete fulfilled life. And if we have, you know, areas

Brad Miller:

where we're lacking, whether it's in our relationships, or

Brad Miller:

whether it's in our spiritual life, or whether it's in our

Brad Miller:

physical health or in our financial resources, they were

Brad Miller:

not completely free. And so what you're teaching us here is a

Brad Miller:

pathway to freedom, a blue blueprint here and that that's

Brad Miller:

awesome. Any word said if folks want to learn more about you,

Brad Miller:

David, or learn about any, any process that that you offer that

Brad Miller:

can be helpful to people? How can people learn more about you

Brad Miller:

and be in contact with you?

David Phelps:

Well, I do have the website, Dr. Phelps, calm.

David Phelps:

Also, my, my community that I facilitate Freedom, freedom

David Phelps:

founders calm, and then the book itself, a good place to go for

David Phelps:

that. One is find your next.com there, people can learn more

David Phelps:

about the book. And there's also a number of bonuses along with a

David Phelps:

book that provides some additional ancillary frameworks

David Phelps:

and the ability for people to work through some of the

David Phelps:

constructs in the book, so that would be another good place for

David Phelps:

them to go.

Brad Miller:

Well, that's awesome. Before we go, it just

Brad Miller:

kind of gives it update. How's your daughter doing?

David Phelps:

Well, thank you. The last 10 years of her life,

David Phelps:

she's now 28 years old, and 18 she suffered one of her biggest

David Phelps:

setbacks after the liver transplant almost lost her but

David Phelps:

the good Lord has been very good to her since she's survived that

David Phelps:

for the last 10 years have been the best part of her life and

David Phelps:

she's in school well online in school, but she is she's she's

David Phelps:

building a momentum you know, into to independence and yeah,

David Phelps:

Life Life is good. She's learned a lot I learned a lot. adversity

David Phelps:

shapes us provides character see it through I would tell people

David Phelps:

see it through understanding you will not last last forever. And

David Phelps:

there's another side to that adversity, adversity that you're

David Phelps:

going through right now if you are suffering that

Brad Miller:

yeah, that's awesome. I always like to hear

Brad Miller:

those stories that there is a crucible we can go through a

Brad Miller:

wilderness experience as you were if you will, to kind of

Brad Miller:

give a bit of a biblical metaphor to it that you budget

Brad Miller:

you can come out to a promised life a promised land it's it's

Brad Miller:

worth it isn't it's worth it to come out. But you got to work

Brad Miller:

through it you if you if you get stuck in your wrote real trouble

Brad Miller:

and what you've given us here, I love the title. What's your next

Brad Miller:

because what's your next implies? You can't stay stuck,

Brad Miller:

Kenny you got to keep keep going. So thank you for being

Brad Miller:

our guest here today on beyond adversity. Our guest today the

Brad Miller:

author of watching Next, the blueprint for creating your

Brad Miller:

freedom lifestyle. You can find it by Dr. Phelps calm. His name

Brad Miller:

is Dr. David Phelps. Thank you, Dave.

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