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194: Are You Ready For A New Label in Your Relationships, Single, Heartbroken, Desperate, Unlovable and Divorce? Becoming Unbroken with Venus Castleberg
Episode 19414th April 2022 • The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller • Dr Brad Miller
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Venus Castleberg is Dr. Brad Miller’s guest on Episode 194 of “The Beyond Adversity Podcast.”

Venus believed that she has the role of looking for her significant other. She believes that a knight in shining armor will save her from her misery, similar to a fairytale story.

Due to this circumstance, at such a young age, she already started dating. She kissed a lot of boys and went on a whole lot of adventures just to find love.

She has been through quite a lot when it comes to relationships. She’s been married and divorced a lot. Every time she’s been married, she always thought that she has found The One.

Venus is also an author of the book entitled From Here to Forever: Finally Free to be Me.

In this book, she discusses her journey to finding herself. It contains her personal story that may inspire many others.

Episode 193 of The Beyond Adversity Podcast is a must-listen for those who are struggling to find love and for those who are looking for who they really are. It’s okay to search for yourself, have the time to find who you really are.

“The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller is published weekly with the mission of helping people “Grow Through What They Go Through” as they navigate adversity and discover their promised life of peace, prosperity, and purpose. 

https://venuscastleberg.com/

Book: Here to Forever: Finally Free To Be Me  

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/venuscastleberg/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/venus_castleberg/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClDEDcWlKQ-8puDA8wo91JA

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/venus-castleberg

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/venus-castleberg-a1693b35/

Transcripts

Dr. Brad Miller::

Hello good people. Welcome to Beyond Adversity.

Dr. Brad Miller::

This is the podcast where we help folks just like you

Dr. Brad Miller::

to grow through what you go through. And that includes

Dr. Brad Miller::

such things as dealing with our most intimate relationships,

Dr. Brad Miller::

our loving relationships with people who are close to us,

Dr. Brad Miller::

and the cycles that we sometimes go through and that

Dr. Brad Miller::

and we are just very fear very fortunate and blessed to

Dr. Brad Miller::

have with us today, Venus Castleberg, who is the author

Dr. Brad Miller::

of From Here to Forever: Finally Free to be Me. It's her

Dr. Brad Miller::

story of how she explores looking for love in all the wrong

Dr. Brad Miller::

places, and the twists and turns and a roller coaster of

Dr. Brad Miller::

relationships. She's an accomplished person and many rights

Dr. Brad Miller::

but she is gives us down some insights on how to have a

Dr. Brad Miller::

new label in your life enables a label of unbroken Venus

Dr. Brad Miller::

Castleberg, welcome to Beyond Adversity.

Venus Castleberg::

Wonderful. Thank you, Brad. Thank you for having me.

Dr. Brad Miller::

It is awesome to have you have you with us here today

Dr. Brad Miller::

on Beyond Adversity. We just like to try to be helpful to

Dr. Brad Miller::

people to navigate challenges in their life and a love life

Dr. Brad Miller::

for almost everyone has its ups and downs and challenges

Dr. Brad Miller::

in your life is no exception. But the good thing is, is you have

Dr. Brad Miller::

given a lot of thought and a lot of energy and a lot of a

Dr. Brad Miller::

process that you are developing here to help people to

Dr. Brad Miller::

break out of labels that they may have and cycles they

Dr. Brad Miller::

may have with a loving life. But let's hear your story about

Dr. Brad Miller::

how you came to this point of writing this book by going

Dr. Brad Miller::

through your own challenges and difficulties. Let's hear

Dr. Brad Miller::

your story for a moment.

Venus Castleberg::

Okay, thank you. I believe it started for me very young,

Venus Castleberg::

I thought that finding the one like all the fairy tales.

Venus Castleberg::

Like there has to be a knight in shining armor, there's

Venus Castleberg::

somebody out there who's going to rescue me, and

Venus Castleberg::

is going to save me from my step-parents which I

Venus Castleberg::

didn't have. So you know, just having that energy

Venus Castleberg::

of thinking somehow, you are complete if you are in

Venus Castleberg::

a relationship. And so I started kissing boys young and I

Venus Castleberg::

started dating young. I started because I thought that's

Venus Castleberg::

what I was doing. I was trying to find the person that I

Venus Castleberg::

was going to be with and I went through quite a few.

Venus Castleberg::

I've been married a couple times, divorced a couple times.

Venus Castleberg::

Every time thinking I'd found it, I had found the one.

Venus Castleberg::

Only to have it not worked out. And I wrote the book.

Venus Castleberg::

At first I thought I was just writing a book to write a book.

Venus Castleberg::

And then it really kind of poured out of me, this journey

Venus Castleberg::

that I have had of looking for love in all the wrong places.

Venus Castleberg::

And I think even to some degree, not only was I looking

Venus Castleberg::

for love in romantic partner, but also in, you know,

Venus Castleberg::

other relationships. And then also, I was looking for the

Venus Castleberg::

right place to live. And then if I had the right place to live,

Venus Castleberg::

I would find it. And it was through the writing of the

Venus Castleberg::

book six years ago, that I started to really look at

Venus Castleberg::

like, wait a minute, what if all this time the one

Venus Castleberg::

person I've been looking forward was me.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And that's the title. Finally Free to be Me

Dr. Brad Miller::

is your subtitle of your book. And it sounds

Dr. Brad Miller::

like this is a journey that's taken lots of twists

Dr. Brad Miller::

and turns and ups and downs you mentioned

Dr. Brad Miller::

about being married and divorced a couple of

Dr. Brad Miller::

times and about changing locations, apparently

Dr. Brad Miller::

and some of the things that you've gone through

Dr. Brad Miller::

in order to come to this place to write this book.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Tell us a little bit about when you were in some

Dr. Brad Miller::

bad places. Yeah, I'm gonna mean by that is

Dr. Brad Miller::

some dark places. How low did you go? I mean,

Dr. Brad Miller::

were you in a place where you felt? Well what

Dr. Brad Miller::

I'm trying to get out here, Venus, is a lot of folks,

Dr. Brad Miller::

when they have something happen to have

Dr. Brad Miller::

like a divorce or something reversal of some

Dr. Brad Miller::

situation, they go to a place to kind of a place

Dr. Brad Miller::

of depression or a spiraling down and he gets

Dr. Brad Miller::

stuck there. Were there any times that you felt

Dr. Brad Miller::

a little stuck in that situation? And we're going

Dr. Brad Miller::

to talk a little bit of what you did to get out of it.

Venus Castleberg::

Sure. Yeah. Um, well, I think yes, definitely.

Venus Castleberg::

There were definitely some very low times.

Venus Castleberg::

And I would say my second divorce was probably

Venus Castleberg::

the biggest one because I really did believe

Venus Castleberg::

I had found the one and everybody else kind

Venus Castleberg::

of confirmed it like you guys are like the sun

Venus Castleberg::

in the moon together and you know, it was

Venus Castleberg::

one of those things. So to have that dissolve

Venus Castleberg::

and we were very close. We were very

Venus Castleberg::

good friends. So even when we got a divorce,

Venus Castleberg::

we were very good friends breaking up. Like it

Venus Castleberg::

was that was part of the heartache and that

Venus Castleberg::

was actually the first time in my life that I actually

Venus Castleberg::

became depressed because I'm not a depressed

Venus Castleberg::

person by nature. But that definitely sent me into

Venus Castleberg::

my first experience of depression.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Then what were some of the actions that you

Dr. Brad Miller::

took to get out of that depression or anything

Dr. Brad Miller::

else that you did? What actions did you start to

Dr. Brad Miller::

take to change the pattern, you know, this pattern,

Dr. Brad Miller::

a lot of folks have been a little stuck in a dark place.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And you always did some things, because you have

Dr. Brad Miller::

a very pleasant countenance about you and you, you're

Dr. Brad Miller::

talking about breaking labels, that's probably what I'm

Dr. Brad Miller::

getting at here with you, Venus, is about changing labels,

Dr. Brad Miller::

or some things you did to change your label that

Dr. Brad Miller::

maybe can be transferable to other folks.

Venus Castleberg::

Wonderful question. Yes. I think part of the, the

Venus Castleberg::

biggest thing for me was to be willing to be alone,

Venus Castleberg::

and be with myself. And even when I was sad,

Venus Castleberg::

and it was hard, and I'm one of these people,

Venus Castleberg::

I jumped from relationship to relationship to

Venus Castleberg::

relationship. So if one was ending, and I knew

Venus Castleberg::

it was ending, I probably have the next one lined up

Venus Castleberg::

before I even got out of that one. So that's how

Venus Castleberg::

much I was. Right? And so

Dr. Brad Miller::

When I got the serial kind of a thing, yes.

Dr. Brad Miller::

You kind of feared being alone and something like that, or

Venus Castleberg::

Yup, feared being alone, or I think it was just more

Venus Castleberg::

I didn't feel like I was like, I didn't fit in society, or

Venus Castleberg::

in this culture if I wasn't with somebody. Like I

Venus Castleberg::

was taught that you are supposed to find the

Venus Castleberg::

person you get married to. And you have 2.5 kids

Venus Castleberg::

and a white picket fence, and you live happily

Venus Castleberg::

ever after. Like, and I bought that hook line and

Venus Castleberg::

sinker, like, like, that is so true for me. And so

Dr. Brad Miller::

You kind of want to be at a Hallmark movie, it sounds like.

Venus Castleberg::

yes, yes, I did. Or a Disney fairy tale for sure. Yeah,

Dr. Brad Miller::

Princess and the Prince and all that type of thing.

Venus Castleberg::

Yeah. So I knew that I had to learn to be

Venus Castleberg::

okay being by myself, to be okay with myself.

Venus Castleberg::

Because I started to see the pattern as like,

Venus Castleberg::

okay, there's a pattern here and I'm starting

Venus Castleberg::

to date the same person over and over again.

Venus Castleberg::

That's the other pattern you'll notice is.

Venus Castleberg::

You'll be like, you'll break up with one person

Venus Castleberg::

and be in this next relationship, you're like,

Venus Castleberg::

that's the same person, they just look a little

Venus Castleberg::

different, right? But they have the same things

Venus Castleberg::

that challenge you. So for me, it was going, okay.

Venus Castleberg::

I know that I need to get comfortable and okay

Venus Castleberg::

with being by myself. So I spent quite a bit of time.

Venus Castleberg::

And I'd say for that long, I spent quite a bit of time

Venus Castleberg::

by myself. I even traveled around the world, I

Venus Castleberg::

went to volunteer in Africa. I really just kind

Venus Castleberg::

of took this time to discover who are you without

Venus Castleberg::

somebody else in your life. And ask myself "Do I like myself."

Venus Castleberg::

You know, that's a big thing. A lot of us don't like

Venus Castleberg::

ourselves. And so we end up dating somebody

Venus Castleberg::

who's not good for us, because we don't like

Venus Castleberg::

ourselves. But if you like yourself, then you won't

Venus Castleberg::

settle for somebody who's not good for you.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So it sounds like some of the actions that you

Dr. Brad Miller::

took were taking some solitude, some quiet

Dr. Brad Miller::

time for yourself. And but a part of that was

Dr. Brad Miller::

also the action of doing activities on your

Dr. Brad Miller::

own, traveling, and your volunteerism to go

Dr. Brad Miller::

to Africa. That's pretty significant. That wasn't

Dr. Brad Miller::

just like volunteering, you know, reading at

Dr. Brad Miller::

your local library or something. You had to

Dr. Brad Miller::

get on a plane and go and do the training

Dr. Brad Miller::

and whatever this is you had to do. So you

Dr. Brad Miller::

really were intentional about your self

Dr. Brad Miller::

discovery, were you not?

Venus Castleberg::

Yeah, I was. And I intentionally also knew

Venus Castleberg::

I needed to travel because I had my ex-husband

Venus Castleberg::

for some reason I had put all of our travel into his hands

Venus Castleberg::

and I had forgotten how to do it. So it was one of

Venus Castleberg::

those things that I wanted to do when I was really

Venus Castleberg::

young. I will say this. You when you're young, it's

Venus Castleberg::

cool to carry a 50 pound pack. That's awesome.

Venus Castleberg::

There's wheels on suitcases when you're 40 for a reason.

Dr. Brad Miller::

I hear that. Yeah, I just took a series of flights

Dr. Brad Miller::

month or so ago for the first time in a long time

Dr. Brad Miller::

and because of the pandemic, I've traveled a

Dr. Brad Miller::

lot I want to deal with it. Okay, yeah, I get that

Dr. Brad Miller::

I hear that but so that is I just want to say that

Dr. Brad Miller::

takes a lot of courage, Venus, to do that. It really

Dr. Brad Miller::

does because a lot of people get in a cycle where

Dr. Brad Miller::

they, I'm sure you're from Earth the term to depend

Dr. Brad Miller::

And codependent, where people find their self value

Dr. Brad Miller::

and self worth based on somehow connected to another

Dr. Brad Miller::

person. And it sounds like you were kind of there

Dr. Brad Miller::

in many ways, and that you chose then to break

Dr. Brad Miller::

that pattern to become, find yourself find your own

Dr. Brad Miller::

independent value in yourself. And I think it takes a

Dr. Brad Miller::

lot a lot of courage and because that's kind of the

Dr. Brad Miller::

action part of things. And one would ask about now

Dr. Brad Miller::

for a minute or two, Venus, was about what you

Dr. Brad Miller::

discovered when you went inward. And what I'm

Dr. Brad Miller::

talking about here, what was any kind of connection

Dr. Brad Miller::

that you had to your inner life or to something

Dr. Brad Miller::

greater than yourself. A spiritual depth of perhaps

Dr. Brad Miller::

meditation, perhaps something in the religious realm,

Dr. Brad Miller::

perhaps something about some inspirational insight

Dr. Brad Miller::

into something inspired you to be about

Dr. Brad Miller::

transformations in your inner life or spiritual life

Dr. Brad Miller::

that were part of this process?

Venus Castleberg::

Well, I would say definitely began. I mean, I've been

Venus Castleberg::

in alternative healthcare, metaphysics, and

Venus Castleberg::

transformational work for 21 years. So I was

Venus Castleberg::

always a seeker. But I by the time I was getting

Venus Castleberg::

that second divorce, I was meditating daily. And

Venus Castleberg::

so I know that meditation for me in that time

Venus Castleberg::

differently helped me find inner peace, find a

Venus Castleberg::

calmness within that, that actually I live now.

Venus Castleberg::

There's just at ease in my life. That was one of

Venus Castleberg::

them. The other one was, there's Access

Venus Castleberg::

Consciousness has a series of tools, and one

Venus Castleberg::

of them is called the bars. And it's 32 points

Venus Castleberg::

on your head, and it clears out kind of the junk,

Venus Castleberg::

it's like deleting the information on your hard

Venus Castleberg::

drive, it cleans it out, This cleans out all the

Venus Castleberg::

thoughts, programs, beliefs, stories you have in

Venus Castleberg::

your head, so that you can choose a life that

Venus Castleberg::

works for you. That tool, even meditation,

Venus Castleberg::

meditation took a lot of work, and a lot of

Venus Castleberg::

years of practice, which is great. And the

Venus Castleberg::

bars, I noticed, I noticed change and just

Venus Castleberg::

one session, so but I think that they're both

Venus Castleberg::

valuable, so and anything anyone can

Venus Castleberg::

do to change their mindset. And

Venus Castleberg::

sometimes it's just getting up out of your

Venus Castleberg::

chair and moving your body or one of the

Venus Castleberg::

tools that like to tell people, when you're

Venus Castleberg::

feeling really depressed, the tendency is to

Venus Castleberg::

look down, we always want to look at the floor,

Venus Castleberg::

we want to look at the you know, ground, try

Venus Castleberg::

just looking up, look up to the sky, look up to

Venus Castleberg::

the heavens, you know, look up. And the energy

Venus Castleberg::

that you perceive by looking up versus looking

Venus Castleberg::

down is very palpable. And sometimes it's just

Venus Castleberg::

doing something that's simple. You don't have

Venus Castleberg::

to change your whole life and move to Africa.

Venus Castleberg::

Some people can do that. Not everybody can.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Here's an interesting that connection between

Dr. Brad Miller::

the physical and the metaphysical in that, in

Dr. Brad Miller::

that context, you're saying that, you know,

Dr. Brad Miller::

by looking up, looking up the sky, or going

Dr. Brad Miller::

outdoors or looking at the sunshine or the

Dr. Brad Miller::

stars as it were, can, that physical action

Dr. Brad Miller::

can have a connection to your inner life

Dr. Brad Miller::

and your peace of mind and things, things like that.

Venus Castleberg::

Even those parts, even close, close, most people,

Dr. Brad Miller::

most people say more about that.

Dr. Brad Miller::

What do you what do you mean by that your clothing.

Venus Castleberg::

So most people tend to when they're depressed

Venus Castleberg::

or they're sad, or having a off bad day, they'll

Venus Castleberg::

tend to wear like black or gray or comfy

Venus Castleberg::

clothes or you know, not want to try putting

Venus Castleberg::

on your loudest brightest shirt. And two things

Venus Castleberg::

will happen. One, nobody will notice that

Venus Castleberg::

you're having an off day because they'll

Venus Castleberg::

be paying attention to your shirt. And

Venus Castleberg::

then after a little while, you'll start to

Venus Castleberg::

notice again, that energy, that vibration,

Venus Castleberg::

it's you're you're you're stepping into

Venus Castleberg::

something brighter, you're like, I am

Venus Castleberg::

going to choose something different

Venus Castleberg::

here. Even if it doesn't fit, just try it.

Dr. Brad Miller::

You know, that's interesting that you

Dr. Brad Miller::

say that because I found that to be

Dr. Brad Miller::

the case too. In my I'm retired pastor in

Dr. Brad Miller::

which I spent my share of time, you know,

Dr. Brad Miller::

kinds of suits and ties and robes, occasionally

Dr. Brad Miller::

things like that. But my everyday dress is more

Dr. Brad Miller::

like Hawaiian shirts and things like that.

Dr. Brad Miller::

In fact, I have one really wild Hawaiian

Dr. Brad Miller::

style shirt, which I call covered with sharks.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And so every time I wear that thing, I

Dr. Brad Miller::

get lots of comments about sharks, I just

Dr. Brad Miller::

say every week of shark week or something

Dr. Brad Miller::

like they get you a little bit positive attention.

Dr. Brad Miller::

I think that's true. Changing your patterns.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And that's part of what you teach in your

Dr. Brad Miller::

book is changing patterns and changing

Dr. Brad Miller::

labels, isn't it? And yeah, so let's talk about

Dr. Brad Miller::

how that goes in terms of how you actually

Dr. Brad Miller::

relate to people then because what you're

Dr. Brad Miller::

talking about here is how you relate in

Dr. Brad Miller::

Your love life and, and, and the cycles

Dr. Brad Miller::

that people can be into. But it also means

Dr. Brad Miller::

that it's not only in romantic relationships,

Dr. Brad Miller::

it's in all relationships, your friend group,

Dr. Brad Miller::

your family, your extended family,

Dr. Brad Miller::

co-workers and so on. Tell me about

Dr. Brad Miller::

how the importance of emotional connectedness

Dr. Brad Miller::

is in a positive way towards transformation

Dr. Brad Miller::

in how you perceive others. So I'm talking about

Dr. Brad Miller::

your friend group, or others, or people who are

Dr. Brad Miller::

surrounded you they helped you or maybe you

Dr. Brad Miller::

help others, or could even a mentorship from

Dr. Brad Miller::

like the school or books or tapes. Tell me about

Dr. Brad Miller::

the power of emotional relationships in life transformation.

Venus Castleberg::

I think I understand your question. So it, one of

Venus Castleberg::

the things that I always used to think was that I

Venus Castleberg::

was broken. Hence why we talked about being

Venus Castleberg::

abrupt Yes, I thought that I was something was

Venus Castleberg::

innately wrong with me. And I know that I am

Venus Castleberg::

not alone on this planet, a lot of people think

Venus Castleberg::

that something's happened, I finally started to

Venus Castleberg::

realize that I'm not broken. Nobody else is broken

Venus Castleberg::

either. And so if we can see everybody as whole

Venus Castleberg::

and perfect and complete exactly the way they

Venus Castleberg::

are, and exactly the way they aren't, even if

Venus Castleberg::

we're the only ones holding that vision of them

Venus Castleberg::

for them, then eventually, they could begin to

Venus Castleberg::

see it for themselves.

Dr. Brad Miller::

That's awesome. I love when you use that terminology

Dr. Brad Miller::

about being broke, because you saw yourself as broken.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And now you see yourself as unbroken and how that how

Dr. Brad Miller::

others perceive you as a part of this process. And maybe

Dr. Brad Miller::

you've heard the term I hear this was elderly folks,

Dr. Brad Miller::

sometimes that I'm invisible, you know, I seem to be

Dr. Brad Miller::

invisible to others. And perhaps this is where

Dr. Brad Miller::

when you move from being feeling broken, to

Dr. Brad Miller::

be unbroken, you suddenly become visible.

Dr. Brad Miller::

We think about that about becoming connected that way.

Venus Castleberg::

Absolutely. I mean, I think if we could, I know

Venus Castleberg::

for me, I'll speak for myself. But I, when I stopped

Venus Castleberg::

thinking that I was broken, then I wasn't looking

Venus Castleberg::

to everybody to confirm that. When I realized

Venus Castleberg::

I was hold my within myself, then everybody

Venus Castleberg::

around me, just naturally began to reflect that

Venus Castleberg::

because I believe that you also attract those

Venus Castleberg::

people. When you believe something's wrong

Venus Castleberg::

with you, you'll find the people that agree

Venus Castleberg::

with you. When you believe that you're kind

Venus Castleberg::

and compassionate, and you have something

Venus Castleberg::

to offer the world, you'll begin to attract people

Venus Castleberg::

that believe in that in you as well.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And that makes when you begin to attract

Dr. Brad Miller::

those type of people around you, that gives

Dr. Brad Miller::

you the opportunities for healthier relationships,

Dr. Brad Miller::

maybe romantic or otherwise. Do you agree with that?

Venus Castleberg::

Absolutely. Absolutely. Yep. So

Venus Castleberg::

and in the romantic relationship, or any relationship

Venus Castleberg::

doesn't become a need. So many people operate

Venus Castleberg::

from need, like I need a relationship I'd rather

Venus Castleberg::

have and I was one of these people, I would

Venus Castleberg::

have rather had a bad relationship than no

Venus Castleberg::

relationship at all.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And that's so so true. Yeah. And also, I think it

Dr. Brad Miller::

comes stems from a sense of see what you

Dr. Brad Miller::

think Venus of just think this figure is basically

Dr. Brad Miller::

an epidemic of meaning, the less nests in our

Dr. Brad Miller::

world right now. And people are seeking in any,

Dr. Brad Miller::

any way they can meaning fullness, but too

Dr. Brad Miller::

often they seek that meaningfulness out of

Dr. Brad Miller::

relationships that are not based on their own

Dr. Brad Miller::

self worth, but it's on some need that's not

Dr. Brad Miller::

altogether healthy. And sometimes people

Dr. Brad Miller::

find other ways you know, you know,

Dr. Brad Miller::

chemicals or bad relationships or spin

Dr. Brad Miller::

intuitive money, whatever it is, all of it. Yeah.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Well, you've mentioned a couple times here

Dr. Brad Miller::

on our conversation venous about change

Dr. Brad Miller::

of mindset or change of how you do things.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And I'm a big believer that you get to take

Dr. Brad Miller::

these things, these experiences and you got,

Dr. Brad Miller::

you know, I'd like to see you, you go you grow

Dr. Brad Miller::

through what you go through, but it means

Dr. Brad Miller::

a change of pattern. So what have you noticed

Dr. Brad Miller::

about your own self and maybe you can teach

Dr. Brad Miller::

others about some different change a pattern

Dr. Brad Miller::

or change of mind, a change of mindset. I'm

Dr. Brad Miller::

going now to things like a new habits or

Dr. Brad Miller::

practices or the way you live your life now,

Dr. Brad Miller::

as opposed to before when you were

Dr. Brad Miller::

co-dependent or dependent on others.

Dr. Brad Miller::

What are you doing now? What are

Dr. Brad Miller::

some of your habits and practices now?

Dr. Brad Miller::

What you do now that have indicated your change of mindset?

Venus Castleberg::

Well, your point of view creates your reality, which

Venus Castleberg::

is how I'm saying it what you're saying in a different

Venus Castleberg::

way. So If you see something as negative, as bad as

Venus Castleberg::

wrong, then that's what it shows up, as for you. If you

Venus Castleberg::

see something as positive, it's why it shows up as

Venus Castleberg::

yours kind of like the, how many people argue is the

Venus Castleberg::

glass half full or the glass half empty. It's just your

Venus Castleberg::

perspective. So, one of the hugest changes I've done

Venus Castleberg::

with the help of the tools of Access Consciousness

Venus Castleberg::

was to change judgment. Judging anything, judging

Venus Castleberg::

people, judging what was happening in my life,

Venus Castleberg::

judging my money flows, judging my relationships,

Venus Castleberg::

my romantic partners, anything to gratitude.

Venus Castleberg::

Judgment and gratitude cannot

Venus Castleberg::

exist in the same space.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So that shift alone sounds huge to shift

Dr. Brad Miller::

from judgment to gratitude.

Venus Castleberg::

And it's just and we can every day wake up,

Venus Castleberg::

and what are you grateful for? What do you

Venus Castleberg::

for life? I mean, you could find something, any

Venus Castleberg::

if I get it, if you're really depressed right now.

Venus Castleberg::

And you're listening to this and going, yeah,

Venus Castleberg::

if you only knew where I was, I do know where

Venus Castleberg::

you are. And you can find one thing. And it might

Venus Castleberg::

be just, hey, I woke up today. Or, hey, it's snowing

Venus Castleberg::

today, where I live, it's snowing, and I love the snow.

Venus Castleberg::

It's beautiful. So, but just one thing, and then let

Venus Castleberg::

it grow to two things. Start people in your life,

Venus Castleberg::

and what are you grateful for them for?

Dr. Brad Miller::

That's so apropos and so important. Because

Dr. Brad Miller::

you know as you said, you can change if you

Dr. Brad Miller::

change your viewpoint, from judgment to

Dr. Brad Miller::

gratitude, then you no longer have this kind

Dr. Brad Miller::

of poor me or it's the focus is on me and what

Dr. Brad Miller::

I don't have, the focus is on what I do have and

Dr. Brad Miller::

how that enhances, then your relationship with

Dr. Brad Miller::

others. And it seems to me, you You talk a lot

Dr. Brad Miller::

in your writings and things about about this

Dr. Brad Miller::

cycle or these patterns. If you change that

Dr. Brad Miller::

pattern there that can help you break

Dr. Brad Miller::

unhealthy cycles or unhealthy patterns

Dr. Brad Miller::

into more than that is more joyful and

Dr. Brad Miller::

full of possibility. You agree?

Venus Castleberg::

Absolutely. Absolutely. But it starts

Venus Castleberg::

with one step, one choice, one day that

Venus Castleberg::

you look up instead of down.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Well, well, one step that people can take

Dr. Brad Miller::

is by taking a look at your book, Here to

Dr. Brad Miller::

Forever: Finally Free to be Me. Tell us a

Dr. Brad Miller::

little bit about your book. And if someone

Dr. Brad Miller::

did say, there's someone out there who

Dr. Brad Miller::

has a somewhat similar circumstances

Dr. Brad Miller::

as you and is kind of struggling in their

Dr. Brad Miller::

love life or some other aspects of life,

Dr. Brad Miller::

what are they going to find in your book

Dr. Brad Miller::

or possibly in your website to be helpful to their life?

Venus Castleberg::

Awesome, thank you so much. So my book

Venus Castleberg::

was actually my personal journey to finding

Venus Castleberg::

me. And the first part of the book was literally

Venus Castleberg::

my story from my very young age to only just

Venus Castleberg::

six years ago, and the the choices that I had

Venus Castleberg::

to make to change the patterns in my life.

Venus Castleberg::

And so the second half of the book, the back

Venus Castleberg::

half of the book are the tools that I used to

Venus Castleberg::

change the my relationship patterns and to

Venus Castleberg::

get into a different place with myself and

Venus Castleberg::

find me and finally have gratitude for me.

Venus Castleberg::

So yeah, if there if you've ever been somebody

Venus Castleberg::

who struggles with relationships, or really feel

Venus Castleberg::

like you're a fish out of water, a lot of the time

Venus Castleberg::

this book would be great for anyone looking

Venus Castleberg::

to find more of themselves.

Dr. Brad Miller::

That's awesome. But let's talk about somebody

Dr. Brad Miller::

who did that. I'm interested in knowing a little bit

Dr. Brad Miller::

now, Venus, about anybody you may have

Dr. Brad Miller::

encountered who read your book or worked

Dr. Brad Miller::

with you in some sort of a, perhaps a coaching

Dr. Brad Miller::

situation or just a conversation. Can you tell us

Dr. Brad Miller::

someone that you've encountered in your life who

Dr. Brad Miller::

you've been able to have some sort of positive

Dr. Brad Miller::

influence on and maybe kind of a testimonial

Dr. Brad Miller::

about your work in their life?

Venus Castleberg::

Yeah, so I have have many, and I'm very, very

Venus Castleberg::

grateful that I have been able to change one

Venus Castleberg::

person's life. I think in the biggest area of

Venus Castleberg::

relationships, I would talk about this one

Venus Castleberg::

person that didn't really like herself at all.

Venus Castleberg::

And she had a friend ask her once if she

Venus Castleberg::

would date herself and she said no. And

Venus Castleberg::

just was working with her and spending

Venus Castleberg::

some time with her, really getting her to

Venus Castleberg::

realize how great she really is and what she

Venus Castleberg::

has to offer any relationship or the world

Venus Castleberg::

even now. And now relationships for her,

Venus Castleberg::

they make her life greater or she doesn't choose them

Dr. Brad Miller::

so she learned a little bit from your

Dr. Brad Miller::

experience about how that she doesn't

Dr. Brad Miller::

have to have an unhealthy relationship is

Dr. Brad Miller::

not going to benefit her you know and so

Dr. Brad Miller::

that's awesome. And so that's what we're

Dr. Brad Miller::

looking for here, we're looking for a process

Dr. Brad Miller::

you know what we're all about here on Beyond

Dr. Brad Miller::

Adversity is knowing that people can get stuck

Dr. Brad Miller::

and get there bad things happen to everybody

Dr. Brad Miller::

but what you do with it makes all the difference

Dr. Brad Miller::

and we look from folks like you to help us get

Dr. Brad Miller::

a process of course, your love life and your

Dr. Brad Miller::

personal and intimate relationships are so so

Dr. Brad Miller::

important. And so we appreciate what you've

Dr. Brad Miller::

had to share with us today. How can people be

Dr. Brad Miller::

connected with you how can they find your book?

Dr. Brad Miller::

How can they find your website or anything else about you?

Venus Castleberg::

Well here to forever finally free to be me is

Venus Castleberg::

on Amazon in paperback and Kindle. Next

Venus Castleberg::

year, there'll be an audible no promises on

Venus Castleberg::

wind but we'll get there. And then I have a

Venus Castleberg::

website venuscastleberg.com And the last

Venus Castleberg::

name is spelt b, e, r, g.

Dr. Brad Miller::

we'll put connections in our show notes at

Dr. Brad Miller::

drbradmiller.com to the book and to your website.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And lots of insight again the book is the title of

Dr. Brad Miller::

the book is Here to Forever: Finally Free to be Me.

Dr. Brad Miller::

She is Venus Castleberg. She is all about helping

Dr. Brad Miller::

you to create new labels. The new label of being

Dr. Brad Miller::

an unbroken person. Venus, we thank you for being our

Dr. Brad Miller::

guest today on Beyond Adversity

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