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174: How To Relax and Change Everything From The Author “Relationship, Are You Sure You Want One” Brendan Watt
25th November 2021 • The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller • Dr Brad Miller
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Brendon Watt is Dr. Brad Miller's guest on Episode 174 of "The Beyond Adversity Podcast."

Brendon Watt is a global Access Consciousness® facilitator, entrepreneur, business, and life mentor.

Global Access Consciousness is a Kingdom-Advancing Leadership Development Company that empowers you, the Christ-Centered Entrepreneurs, to Grow & Scale Your Business Elegantly with Identity-Aligned Positioning, Compassion-Driven Marketing, and Confidence-Fueled Selling.

Brendon delivers seminars and workshops worldwide, enabling others to know they are not wrong. That everything is possible, and that they are only one choice away from change, drawing on his journey from a struggling craftsman and single parent to a global speaker.

In this episode, Brendon discusses his challenges and how he could turn his life around, resulting in him living a life he could never have imagined years ago. He expressed the belief that no amount of money can make you happy, especially if you feel as if your life has no meaning and you are losing hope.

Brendon grew up in Australia, where he was, subjected to maltreatment as a child. That physical and sexual abuse and a lack of money made life fascinating from an early age, and as he progressed through life, starting school and then high school, he was constantly ridiculed. Brendon was looking for a place to call home where Brendon could just fit in. Life had been cruel to him, and It didn't matter how hard he tried. It just wasn't going to work.

Brendon got into a relationship and had a kid who is now 17 years old. In Australia, he became a tradesman and began a tile firm, believing he was, meant to accomplish. That didn't work either. Brendon was picking his path in life based on what everyone else was telling him because he couldn't find happiness anyplace, even with money. He believed that as soon as he received the money, he would be satisfied.

Brendon recalls thinking one day that if he had $10,000 in the bank, he would be happy, but even if having $10,000 in the bank, he would still be depressed. When he was 29, he was at a stage where Brendon just wanted to give up; he had run out of hope and didn't want to live any longer. Brendon was depressed and didn't see any way out. And one day, he asked the cosmos for assistance, whatever it may be, for he had nothing left to contribute and nothing left to get up in the morning. The next day, Brendon came across a small advertisement in the newspaper that read, "All of life comes to me with ease joy and glory call Mel." That's when he came across Access Consciousness.

Brendon's narrative is a compelling, spiritual, and transformational testimonial to someone who has navigated through adversity and emerged with a life of serenity, prosperity, and purpose.

The Beyond Adversity Podcast Episode 175 is a must-listen for everyone going through a challenging period right now and believes that's all there is to life. You can change your life, just as Brendon did; despite all of life's challenges, he managed to overcome them and succeed in all of his endeavors.

“The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller is published weekly with the mission of helping people “Grow Through What They Go Through” as they navigate adversity and discover their promised life of peace, prosperity and purpose. 

Website: https://www.brendonwatt.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqUIwd0enUwbkFgE0yUkQEg

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brendon-watt-788b0a47/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/accessbrendonwatt/?hl=en

Transcripts

Dr. Brad Miller:

Hello, good people. Welcome to Beyond adversity with Dr. Brad Miller.

Dr. Brad Miller:

What a privilege and a pleasure.

Dr. Brad Miller:

It is to have you here to join me today on episode number 175.

Dr. Brad Miller:

We are all about here on our podcast,

Dr. Brad Miller:

beyond adversity helping you to navigate adverse life conditions

Dr. Brad Miller:

depression, divorce, disease, debt, death,

Dr. Brad Miller:

we call them the five D's and get through to a place of peace,

Dr. Brad Miller:

prosperity and purpose.

Dr. Brad Miller:

We call that process growing through what you go through,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you can always head over to Dr. Brad miller.com,

Dr. Brad Miller:

where we have over 170 episodes of this podcast,

Dr. Brad Miller:

which are designed to help you get through

Dr. Brad Miller:

whatever it is you are going, going through, we've got a free gift for you there.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And we're here to be helpful to you and your process of overcoming

Dr. Brad Miller:

adverse life conditions.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Let me ask you a question if you could uncomplicate your life,

Dr. Brad Miller:

all the confusion, all the problems,

Dr. Brad Miller:

all the distress all the stuff that you're going through,

Dr. Brad Miller:

if you could and complicated with just one choice,

Dr. Brad Miller:

one decision? Would you do that?

Dr. Brad Miller:

Would you do that? Adversity we often thinks and problems in life often

Dr. Brad Miller:

we think are just pile up and stack up on us.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And that's true to some great degree. But perhaps

Dr. Brad Miller:

just perhaps, a response or a solution to your problems

Dr. Brad Miller:

is a little simpler than we might think.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Our guest today is Brendon watt,

Dr. Brad Miller:

he in his life was just messed up. His personal life was a mess,

Dr. Brad Miller:

his finances were a mess. His health was a mess.

Dr. Brad Miller:

He had had addictive situations he was dealing with

Dr. Brad Miller:

so he would he just says he was about low as low can be

Dr. Brad Miller:

when he made some decisions to simplify his life,

Dr. Brad Miller:

about making simple relationship changes to access,

Dr. Brad Miller:

a sense of his own consciousness,

Dr. Brad Miller:

and now he's all about inspiring others to make the change as well.

Dr. Brad Miller:

He has a tenacious desire to change the world.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And he is known for his kindness, and his all inspiring facilitation

Dr. Brad Miller:

of helping people sort out the complicated matters in their life.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And to be something different.

Dr. Brad Miller:

To know that anything is possible.

Dr. Brad Miller:

If you access your consciousness and do not go through life on consciously.

Dr. Brad Miller:

He's about transforming his life from a tradesman and a single dad,

Dr. Brad Miller:

to now a global speaker and the author of the book

Dr. Brad Miller:

"Are you sure you want relationship? Are you sure you want one?"

Dr. Brad Miller:

Here's the thing where you're going to learn something today.

Dr. Brad Miller:

You're alone about a process to simplify your life,

Dr. Brad Miller:

about how to relax,

Dr. Brad Miller:

how to relax and make some decisions regarding your life

Dr. Brad Miller:

that can uncomplicate things. You're going to feel something,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you're going to feel what Brendon went through

Dr. Brad Miller:

through the turmoil and changes that he went through

Dr. Brad Miller:

just feeling terrible about himself,

Dr. Brad Miller:

to feeling a lot better about himself

Dr. Brad Miller:

and then also using his experience to be helpful to you.

Dr. Brad Miller:

When you come back on the other side of the interview,

Dr. Brad Miller:

we're going to talk about some practical ways

Dr. Brad Miller:

but something you can do about it yourself.

Dr. Brad Miller:

You could facilitate a change in your life to relax and to change.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Our guest today Brendon watt,

Dr. Brad Miller:

he blogs at Brendon watt.com.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Let's get into our conversation with Brendon watt Right now.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Brandon watt is with us today

Dr. Brad Miller:

he has an outrageous demand in his life,

Dr. Brad Miller:

to expand his life and help others to facilitate them

Dr. Brad Miller:

to have an incredible life.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And he is involved with Access Consciousness as a facilitator,

Dr. Brad Miller:

and has the book relationships.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Are you sure you want one,

Dr. Brad Miller:

he's going to give us some great insight today

Dr. Brad Miller:

on how to make good choices for change.

Dr. Brad Miller:

We welcome to Beyond adversity,

Dr. Brad Miller:

Brandon watt.

Brendon Watt:

Thank you, Brad, thank you for having me.

Dr. Brad Miller:

It's awesome to have you with us here today,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you've got quite an incredible background and history

Dr. Brad Miller:

and the things that you offer to people in

Dr. Brad Miller:

to help them facilitate change in their life.

Dr. Brad Miller:

However, I know that most of folks I talked to here on Beyond adversity,

Dr. Brad Miller:

have their own story of transformation

Dr. Brad Miller:

and change has been facilitated by some form of adversity or pain.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And I believe that's the case with you, Brandon,

Dr. Brad Miller:

tell us a bit about your background story,

Dr. Brad Miller:

how you facilitated some

Dr. Brad Miller:

how you dealt with some adversity in your life.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And which led you to what you're doing now?

Brendon Watt:

Yeah, I grew up in Australia,

Brendon Watt:

and I didn't grow up in the Nasus of,

Brendon Watt:

of environments, there was a lot of abuse when I was a kid.

Brendon Watt:

And then that physical abuse and sexual abuse

Brendon Watt:

and there was, you know, we had no money

Brendon Watt:

and so so life was interesting from early on,

Brendon Watt:

and, and going through life,

Brendon Watt:

starting school, and then high school,

Brendon Watt:

it was I was always getting bullied.

Brendon Watt:

And basically, I was just trying to find where I fit.

Brendon Watt:

And life was not working for me.

Brendon Watt:

And I never did that. It didn't matter how much I did,

Brendon Watt:

or how much of me I tried to give up,

Brendon Watt:

It just wouldn't work.

Brendon Watt:

And so I did the I did the relationship, you know,

Brendon Watt:

and I've got a son, now I've got a 17 year old son

Brendon Watt:

thinking that that was what I was supposed to do.

Brendon Watt:

And I, I became a tradesman in Australia,

Brendon Watt:

I started a company as a tiler,

Brendon Watt:

and thought that that was what I was supposed to do.

Brendon Watt:

And that didn't work. And you know,

Brendon Watt:

and I was just choosing my life based on what everybody was telling me,

Brendon Watt:

I should choose it as and could not find any happiness anywhere,

Brendon Watt:

even with money. I was like,

Brendon Watt:

well, once I get money, I'll be happy.

Brendon Watt:

And I remember one day having the idea

Brendon Watt:

that once I get $10,000 in the bank, I'll be happy

Brendon Watt:

then I remember the day that I got that $10,000 in the bank,

Brendon Watt:

and I went, I'm still depressed.

Brendon Watt:

And I basically got to a point when I was 29.

Brendon Watt:

So 11 years ago, I got to a point where I just wanted to give up,

Brendon Watt:

I was just about run out of hope.

Brendon Watt:

I've gotten to a point where I just went I don't want to live anymore.

Brendon Watt:

I don't want to deal with this anymore.

Brendon Watt:

I don't have me I'm depressed

Brendon Watt:

I just had no way out of it.

Brendon Watt:

And was one day

Brendon Watt:

I just went you know what I need help universe,

Brendon Watt:

whatever, whatever is out there, please,

Brendon Watt:

because I've got nothing left,

Brendon Watt:

I got nothing left to give, I got nothing left to wake up for.

Brendon Watt:

And the next day,

Brendon Watt:

I found this little ad in the paper.

Brendon Watt:

And it said "All of life comes to me with ease joy

Brendon Watt:

and glory call Mel" and I was like what?

Brendon Watt:

what is that and that's when I found Access Consciousness.

Brendon Watt:

And I found this the first session that I got done

Brendon Watt:

with something called the Access Bars.

Brendon Watt:

And it was this body process

Brendon Watt:

and this girl ran this body process on me

Brendon Watt:

and asked me a bunch of questions

Brendon Watt:

and after that I just remember having this peace in my world again

Brendon Watt:

something had changed

Brendon Watt:

and I didn't know what it was.

Brendon Watt:

And I realized that I wanted to keep going

Brendon Watt:

like it was that I had that tiny as an as very tiny as it was spark again.

Brendon Watt:

And from that point I've just,

Brendon Watt:

kept going like I just haven't given in

Brendon Watt:

haven't given up haven't quit

Brendon Watt:

and and I've kept going and going going in the life

Brendon Watt:

that I have today. If if somebody would have shown me this 11 years ago

Brendon Watt:

and said you could get to this by making different choices

Brendon Watt:

and by the tools and the processes that are used to change,

Brendon Watt:

there's no way in the world that would have blinked or thought you were crazy.

Dr. Brad Miller:

But crazy things happen sometimes

Dr. Brad Miller:

and sound like you're basically you know

Dr. Brad Miller:

at the end of your rope or you read a really bad place in life

Dr. Brad Miller:

and stuck and stuck and a lot of folks find themselves stuck

Dr. Brad Miller:

or in bad places in life with depression

Dr. Brad Miller:

or when adverse life conditions happen to them

Dr. Brad Miller:

and you found yourself there but you said a key thing there

Dr. Brad Miller:

that I think I want to go with you on a little bit here

Dr. Brad Miller:

Brandon and that is choices.

Dr. Brad Miller:

He said you made some choices you chose to follow up

Dr. Brad Miller:

on the ad in the paper and to follow the process.

Dr. Brad Miller:

unpack a little bit more about some of the acts

Dr. Brad Miller:

or actions or choices.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And the follow up with the choices that you made,

Dr. Brad Miller:

that helped you continue to on this progression,

Dr. Brad Miller:

advancing through your adverse life situation.

Dr. Brad Miller:

As you said, now you have the life,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you would not have dreamed of 11 years ago,

Dr. Brad Miller:

what are some of the choices that you made,

Dr. Brad Miller:

and actions you took?

Brendon Watt:

Well, before so before this moment that I talked about

Brendon Watt:

when I just wanted to give up hope,

Brendon Watt:

I just wanted to give in. And at that stage in my life,

Brendon Watt:

I didn't have any didn't recognize that my choices,

Brendon Watt:

were creating my life and I was doing victim,

Brendon Watt:

I was going well, I'd have no money because I grew up poor.

Brendon Watt:

And I'm depressed because of all this abuse.

Brendon Watt:

And I have no confidence because,

Brendon Watt:

you know, because of that,

Brendon Watt:

I had an excuse for everything.

Brendon Watt:

And also, like, there's a lot of things that go on in this world,

Brendon Watt:

that shouldn't happen, I get that.

Brendon Watt:

And there's a lot of things that went on in my life

Brendon Watt:

that shouldn't have happened,

Brendon Watt:

but I was still doing this thing of going

Brendon Watt:

"well, I can't be happy, and I can't be successful."

Brendon Watt:

And when I went to my was the first seminar that I went to

Brendon Watt:

with Access Consciousness,

Brendon Watt:

and Gary Douglas, the founder, he was facilitating,

Brendon Watt:

and he said, this thing that just was, it turned on a light in my world.

Brendon Watt:

He said, everything that's showing up in your life today.

Brendon Watt:

And everything you are is based on the choices that you've made.

Brendon Watt:

And I went, what?

Brendon Watt:

and I realized that I was just, I realized,

Brendon Watt:

like I said that I was just being the victim.

Brendon Watt:

And when he said that I went, Okay.

Brendon Watt:

because I'm extremely pragmatic, once I get something,

Brendon Watt:

and it's changing, that I'm going to go,

Brendon Watt:

okay, that works. I'm going to explore what's what's beyond this.

Brendon Watt:

And when he said that I went, Okay,

Brendon Watt:

so if I've created the past 29 years,

Brendon Watt:

with the choices that I've made,

Brendon Watt:

what if I started making some different choices,

Brendon Watt:

and I did. And from that moment forward,

Brendon Watt:

my life on a daily basis was changing.

Brendon Watt:

From the choices like I would usually wake up and go,

Brendon Watt:

I hate myself, I'm depressed, to I'd wake up and go,

Brendon Watt:

Okay, that's what I chose yesterday,

Brendon Watt:

who am I today, and I'd started reinventing myself

Brendon Watt:

with the choices that I was making.

Brendon Watt:

And it was quite shocking how much in that first,

Brendon Watt:

probably the first month

Brendon Watt:

was such an acknowledgement of choice for me,

Brendon Watt:

and how much it creates our lives

Brendon Watt:

because I gone from one thing to

Brendon Watt:

completely on a different journey

Brendon Watt:

based on the choices that I was making.

Brendon Watt:

So that was, that was a big gift for me.

Brendon Watt:

And to this day, right now, I know that if I'm,

Brendon Watt:

whatever showing up in my life,

Brendon Watt:

there's some choice I'm making to create it.

Brendon Watt:

So the thing that I'm really grateful for is

Brendon Watt:

I know I'm, I'm in control, I'm in charge of my life,

Brendon Watt:

I'm driving this thing, it's, it's showing up,

Brendon Watt:

because I'm the one driving it.

Brendon Watt:

So if I'm driving it into a brick wall, flat out,

Brendon Watt:

then I'm going driving it into the brick wall.

Brendon Watt:

And I've got it's taken me out,

Brendon Watt:

this taken me out of being a victim and taking me into okay,

Brendon Watt:

what would I like my life to be like?

Dr. Brad Miller:

I see or hear you saying a few things here,

Dr. Brad Miller:

Brandon, one of is the choice of not have submitted being submissions

Dr. Brad Miller:

that are submitted to a sense of that you're out of control,

Dr. Brad Miller:

that things are out of control,

Dr. Brad Miller:

in the sense that you do have some control in your life

Dr. Brad Miller:

by the choices that you make.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And the choice you made,

Dr. Brad Miller:

among others was some self affirmations,

Dr. Brad Miller:

and some self talk that was of a positive nature

Dr. Brad Miller:

rather than to defeat us negative nature.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And so I think that's a lesson that we can learn from

Dr. Brad Miller:

what you've shared here, the choices,

Dr. Brad Miller:

because we make a bad choice too

Dr. Brad Miller:

people make bad choices a lot of time.

Brendon Watt:

I really, I make 1000s of them daily still.

Brendon Watt:

Because that that was the other thing that stopped me was

Brendon Watt:

it's, I was always trying to find the right choice,

Brendon Watt:

or I wasn't making any choices.

Brendon Watt:

You know, so my life was not moving.

Brendon Watt:

Because I was trying to find the right choice to make.

Brendon Watt:

And that's what I say a lot of us do,

Brendon Watt:

rather than just making the choice

Brendon Watt:

and see what I've learned is every choice creates an awareness,

Brendon Watt:

you get some awareness from it,

Brendon Watt:

and what shows up from that choice.

Brendon Watt:

And when we don't have to do

Brendon Watt:

well that's how do I find out do I do not the wrong choice?

Brendon Watt:

And how do I just do the right choice,

Brendon Watt:

then with the freedom that you get to actually choose

Brendon Watt:

gives you the freedom to explore who you are

Brendon Watt:

and to just, you know, go through life

Brendon Watt:

is this more of a joyful learning of you

Brendon Watt:

than this avoidance of getting it wrong

Brendon Watt:

or not being right.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Well, you what you touch on there,

Dr. Brad Miller:

I think as well a key thing you talked about the choice you make

Dr. Brad Miller:

to be aware because there are some people

Dr. Brad Miller:

who really don't want to make a choice in life

Dr. Brad Miller:

make choices for them,

Dr. Brad Miller:

because they want to be numb.

Dr. Brad Miller:

They want to be, you know, incapacitated,

Dr. Brad Miller:

they want others to make choices for them

Dr. Brad Miller:

and like you said, eventually, bam,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you're going to hit a brick wall or something bad's gonna happen.

Dr. Brad Miller:

That's adversity it happens to everybody,

Dr. Brad Miller:

no matter how, you know how what our circumstances are

Dr. Brad Miller:

bad things happen to us and how you handle it makes all the difference.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Yeah, I want to talk to you for a second

Dr. Brad Miller:

to bring it about what is a factor beyond self in this

Dr. Brad Miller:

what I mean by that is,

Dr. Brad Miller:

when we first started our conversation,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you're talking about kind of what the things happened to you.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And that's kind of a approach things

Dr. Brad Miller:

that's a little bit self absorbed kind

Dr. Brad Miller:

of a poor me, this is my life that.

Dr. Brad Miller:

But I think I would like to,

Dr. Brad Miller:

to speak a little bit to anything that is

Dr. Brad Miller:

that you connected to that's greater than self.

Dr. Brad Miller:

That might be a spiritual connection,

Dr. Brad Miller:

it might be meditation

Dr. Brad Miller:

and might be a religious viewpoint,

Dr. Brad Miller:

how has anything kind of a beyond yourself

Dr. Brad Miller:

kind of a spiritual nature,

Dr. Brad Miller:

then a part of the process for you have?

Dr. Brad Miller:

Obviously you've transformed from,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you know, kind of a sad set guy

Dr. Brad Miller:

to guy who's had a lot of joy in life?

Dr. Brad Miller:

How's this thing of beyond yourself

Dr. Brad Miller:

in a part of this process?

Brendon Watt:

Well, with the tools of Access Consciousness,

Brendon Watt:

I mean, one of the targets,

Brendon Watt:

what the biggest target for us

Brendon Watt:

is to create more consciousness on the planet.

Brendon Watt:

And for, you know, for a lot of people,

Brendon Watt:

it's like, okay, what is consciousness?

Brendon Watt:

Well, our definition of it is,

Brendon Watt:

consciousness includes everything,

Brendon Watt:

and everyone, and judges, nothing and no one.

Brendon Watt:

And so for me, the, I guess,

Brendon Watt:

the awareness that we are all part of something greater,

Brendon Watt:

and we are all part of oneness,

Brendon Watt:

while also being us, you know,

Brendon Watt:

so for it's not about, you know,

Brendon Watt:

giving up you to be this sense of connected

Brendon Watt:

to everyone and everything,

Brendon Watt:

it's the more for me, the more that I've just given into,

Brendon Watt:

given up the control,

Brendon Watt:

basically, I've got my life needs to show up in this certain way.

Brendon Watt:

Because that's the other thing that stops us from choosing

Brendon Watt:

is as soon as we go, Well, my life needs to show up like this.

Brendon Watt:

And we have a result in mind.

Brendon Watt:

We've just taken our universe of choice that we have available,

Brendon Watt:

basically down to a tiny little menu.

Brendon Watt:

And so for me, the more I've just gone and asked for help,

Brendon Watt:

like and from the universe

Brendon Watt:

and gone consciousness universe,

Brendon Watt:

can you show me what else is possible with this

Brendon Watt:

and been in question,

Brendon Watt:

then the more my life has started showing up,

Brendon Watt:

in the, in ways that you could never imagine.

Brendon Watt:

And one of the things that I've learned is,

Brendon Watt:

it never shows up the way you think it's going to

Brendon Watt:

it that it just doesn't. And, you know,

Brendon Watt:

because you're well, you're,

Brendon Watt:

you're expected has to show up this way.

Brendon Watt:

And, and this is exactly what it's gonna look like,

Brendon Watt:

it never does, you know, or any of us.

Brendon Watt:

And so for me, this, this connection that I have,

Brendon Watt:

and that I like to ask for more and more and more is,

Brendon Watt:

if, if we could receive from a whole universe,

Brendon Watt:

then what else would be possible in our lives

Brendon Watt:

rather than trying to compress ourselves into this shell of

Brendon Watt:

Well, I don't like for me, what I did was

Brendon Watt:

I didn't want to be abused anymore.

Brendon Watt:

So how many walls do I need to put up around myself

Brendon Watt:

to protect myself from the world,

Brendon Watt:

but that's how I was living my life. Sure.

Brendon Watt:

You know, I wasn't, I couldn't let

Brendon Watt:

I wasn't willing to let me out.

Brendon Watt:

So I wasn't willing to let anything else in.

Brendon Watt:

So the more I got through that, sure.

Brendon Watt:

The more just, I want to say magic

Brendon Watt:

my life, the more magical

Brendon Watt:

My life became, and it still does.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Sure, I love what you say on your, on your website.

Dr. Brad Miller:

A phrase that focuses on the word relax,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you say relax into the change,

Dr. Brad Miller:

relax into your choices relax into you.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And to me, when you kind of surrender as it were

Dr. Brad Miller:

to consciousness to something greater than yourself,

Dr. Brad Miller:

spiritual life, whatever you want to call it,

Dr. Brad Miller:

that helps to free us up

Dr. Brad Miller:

from all that other stuff we have experienced.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And so tell us more about this whole concept

Dr. Brad Miller:

that you have mentioned on your website,

Dr. Brad Miller:

at least about relax,

Dr. Brad Miller:

what does that mean to

Dr. Brad Miller:

people you teach and so on?

Brendon Watt:

And I'll be I'll double myself here

Brendon Watt:

and tell you that I'm only just starting to get this one.

Brendon Watt:

Because, for me, it was always like

Brendon Watt:

I had always been trying to do this thing of control.

Brendon Watt:

I can control everything

Brendon Watt:

and I can then I can make sure it shows up in a certain way

Brendon Watt:

so that I can I can have that way.

Brendon Watt:

And for me the relaxation comes from the ability to receive.

Brendon Watt:

So if you like we were talking about with this thing of like giving,

Brendon Watt:

you know, putting your walls down

Brendon Watt:

and actually going, Okay, I'm gonna,

Brendon Watt:

I'm gonna stop receiving from something outside of me,

Brendon Watt:

for example, for me it was consciousness is

Brendon Watt:

consciousness exists in everything.

Brendon Watt:

So I was like, okay, so what would that be like and the more

Brendon Watt:

I've been willing to get out of control in my life

Brendon Watt:

and not have to have it show up a certain way,

Brendon Watt:

the more I've been able to relax into allowing my life

Brendon Watt:

to show up in a certain way,

Brendon Watt:

and that it's such a like,

Brendon Watt:

because for a lot of people,

Brendon Watt:

they will look at relaxation and go,

Brendon Watt:

Okay, what is that, you know, sitting around watching TV all day,

Brendon Watt:

well might include that.

Brendon Watt:

But yeah, the relaxation comes from this,

Brendon Watt:

if you don't have to know that your day,

Brendon Watt:

or the year or the future, or your, say your relationship,

Brendon Watt:

or your friendships have to be a certain way,

Brendon Watt:

then how much greater can they get.

Brendon Watt:

And this is, my life has gotten greater

Brendon Watt:

and greater based on this,

Brendon Watt:

because the more I've gotten out of control,

Brendon Watt:

the more of let everything contributed to it,

Brendon Watt:

the more my relationships get better,

Brendon Watt:

my you know, everything in my life gets better.

Brendon Watt:

But it doesn't have to show up a certain way.

Brendon Watt:

And the more I just get to go, you know,

Brendon Watt:

like, if you take it out of the,

Brendon Watt:

if you take it out of the equation

Brendon Watt:

has to show up like this.

Brendon Watt:

How much already does your world just go?

Brendon Watt:

Oh, wow, that's a whole lot easier.

Brendon Watt:

Like I don't have to focus on this 24/7

Brendon Watt:

and make it sharp the way I've decided should show.

Brendon Watt:

And so for me that's been the relaxation

Brendon Watt:

is that just allowing things to be what they are

Brendon Watt:

and not expecting anyone,

Brendon Watt:

or anything to be different.

Brendon Watt:

And that's what I say a lot of us do is we go,

Brendon Watt:

well, this person should be this, or this should be this.

Brendon Watt:

And we expect things to be a certain way

Brendon Watt:

which which creates this

Brendon Watt:

Well, first of all, it creates a judgement,

Brendon Watt:

that anything should be a way just

Brendon Watt:

because you want it to be that certain way.

Brendon Watt:

But then also it creates that separation,

Brendon Watt:

which doesn't allow you to

Brendon Watt:

and definitely hasn't allowed me in the past

Brendon Watt:

to receive something beyond it. So it's just

Dr. Brad Miller:

a love what you

Dr. Brad Miller:

Yeah, I'm sorry,

Dr. Brad Miller:

I just love what you said about how the relaxation has to do with what we receive.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Because I think for some of us,

Dr. Brad Miller:

they we may misconstrue relaxation is kind of zoning out,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you know, you might sit for the TV for hours,

Dr. Brad Miller:

or you might just, you know, some people dive into a bottle of alcohol,

Dr. Brad Miller:

whatever it is to try that you have the the the facade of,

Dr. Brad Miller:

of relaxation, it's not really that,

Dr. Brad Miller:

am I receiving? So no.

Dr. Brad Miller:

But you said about, you know, you tried that,

Dr. Brad Miller:

and you've tried a few things.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And you mentioned about how you had difficulties with abuse

Dr. Brad Miller:

or whatever it was growing up.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And you mentioned alcohol and so on.

Dr. Brad Miller:

These are different adversities that people face,

Dr. Brad Miller:

of course, and yeah, we have good

Dr. Brad Miller:

and I want to talk to you about relationships now for just a minute.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And then about positive relationships.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And compared to negative relationships,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you know, you've you've made that experience

Dr. Brad Miller:

and some negative relationships,

Dr. Brad Miller:

some that depletes us of our energy.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Yeah, tell us about the importance of positive relationships,

Dr. Brad Miller:

either with mentors or cohorts,

Dr. Brad Miller:

or friends or family or others,

Dr. Brad Miller:

or perhaps even virtually,

Dr. Brad Miller:

might be a book of a classic,

Dr. Brad Miller:

how relationships play a part in transformation

Dr. Brad Miller:

and the choices that we make.

Brendon Watt:

Yeah, well, I would say like,

Brendon Watt:

for a lot of people, it's like,

Brendon Watt:

we look to our relationships

Brendon Watt:

and some source for the creation of our lives.

Brendon Watt:

Like for me, what I did was,

Brendon Watt:

as long as I can get my relationship right now I'll be happy.

Brendon Watt:

But it was always this expectation

Brendon Watt:

that the relationship was going to

Brendon Watt:

create was going to basically fulfill some need for me,

Brendon Watt:

that I couldn't fulfill for myself.

Brendon Watt:

So that created just from day one

Brendon Watt:

that created this expectation of this

Brendon Watt:

in the need of this relationship.

Brendon Watt:

But what I've found is

Brendon Watt:

the more I've been willing to have one with myself,

Brendon Watt:

the greater every relationship in my life has gotten

Brendon Watt:

because it wasn't done from need.

Brendon Watt:

Now it was done from total gratitude,

Brendon Watt:

like I I have friends in my life now that don't judge me.

Brendon Watt:

And I if you would have said that that was a possibility to me

Brendon Watt:

11 years ago, I would have thought you are nuts.

Brendon Watt:

Crazy. Because it's like to have people in your life

Brendon Watt:

that truly care about you like that,

Brendon Watt:

is well I've had these people in my life for the last 11 years.

Brendon Watt:

But it's only been recently

Brendon Watt:

that I've started liking myself so much

Brendon Watt:

that I've allowed myself to receive that caring

Brendon Watt:

and and that's before you begin Have a little bar.

Brendon Watt:

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Go ahead.

Brendon Watt:

No, I was just started.

Dr. Brad Miller:

It's a little more lovable.

Dr. Brad Miller:

If I keep talking,

Dr. Brad Miller:

it was fun. I was gonna say you

Dr. Brad Miller:

become a little more lovable to them

Dr. Brad Miller:

as well, the more you love yourself,

Brendon Watt:

yeah, right. But it's like none of us had been well,

Brendon Watt:

not none of us, but very few of us

Brendon Watt:

have been taught to actually

Brendon Watt:

really, like, like ourselves,

Brendon Watt:

you know, I didn't, I didn't like myself at all.

Brendon Watt:

Growing up, like I truly

Brendon Watt:

when I found when I took this step,

Brendon Watt:

11 years ago, when I started looking for change it

Brendon Watt:

I basically hated myself.

Brendon Watt:

And it's just, it's not much fun to live that way.

Dr. Brad Miller:

But let's talk now for a minute.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Brendon about now transforming your experiences

Dr. Brad Miller:

into what you offer to others,

Dr. Brad Miller:

for instance, and how maybe some of the practices

Dr. Brad Miller:

or habits or processes that you've learned,

Dr. Brad Miller:

can apply to other people

Dr. Brad Miller:

I know you're with a group called Access Consciousness,

Dr. Brad Miller:

tell us a bit about what that's about in terms of

Dr. Brad Miller:

what people can learn from you and your experience,

Dr. Brad Miller:

or maybe learn from processes that you've learned,

Dr. Brad Miller:

I would talk about now about the kind of the cognitive piece

Dr. Brad Miller:

how we apply what we've learned to help others.

Brendon Watt:

Yeah, well, it's like a, like a, I've talked about a lot

Brendon Watt:

with things that I've done, I,

Brendon Watt:

I now I'm at a point where I'm so grateful for my life,

Brendon Watt:

because I have so much to draw upon

Brendon Watt:

that I've gotten through. And, and still getting through,

Brendon Watt:

because that's the other thing is

Brendon Watt:

life is never at completion, it's there.

Brendon Watt:

So if you desire to be greater,

Brendon Watt:

if you desire, you know what I'd like to be greater today

Brendon Watt:

than I was yesterday, and you're never,

Brendon Watt:

you're never done, you're never going to stop,

Brendon Watt:

you're going to keep striving and seeking more.

Brendon Watt:

And so the world couple of things is

Brendon Watt:

one of the things that we do,

Brendon Watt:

and that I found really different with Access Consciousness

Brendon Watt:

was it was about empowering me to know what I know.

Brendon Watt:

It wasn't, here's the answer,

Brendon Watt:

which is what I found was so many other modalities for purple,

Brendon Watt:

or like self growth and personal help

Brendon Watt:

and stuff like that. It was like it was always about here's the answer.

Brendon Watt:

And I was looking for an answer.

Brendon Watt:

So at the time, it was good.

Brendon Watt:

But when I realized that the only thing

Brendon Watt:

that was going to truly make my future sustainable,

Brendon Watt:

was that I would need to be the creator of it.

Brendon Watt:

When I realized that I knew things

Brendon Watt:

that I was that basically I was in on,

Brendon Watt:

I was on tapping what I knew. And when I started,

Brendon Watt:

so the first process with this that we look at is basically,

Brendon Watt:

you've got to start living from the question.

Brendon Watt:

So rather than okay, this is how this is. S

Brendon Watt:

o you start changing the energy of your life

Brendon Watt:

from all of these conclusions

Brendon Watt:

that you're using to run your life

Brendon Watt:

and wondering why it's showing up exactly,

Brendon Watt:

the way that you think it's going to show up,

Brendon Watt:

is because our point of view creates our reality.

Brendon Watt:

So this was the question,

Brendon Watt:

it starts shifting that. And then with that,

Brendon Watt:

I mean, we've got, we've got so much stuff,

Brendon Watt:

free stuff everywhere, you know,

Brendon Watt:

of different facilitators talking about the way

Brendon Watt:

that tools that they've use to get through things.

Brendon Watt:

And to that there's always something greater beyond any,

Brendon Watt:

there's always another possibility available.

Brendon Watt:

So but the biggest thing, like I said,

Brendon Watt:

was that I had to start not relying on everybody else,

Brendon Watt:

for the right answer,

Brendon Watt:

not relying on everybody else to tell me the life I should live.

Brendon Watt:

But going, you know, what's true for me,

Brendon Watt:

what would I like to create my life as and?

Brendon Watt:

And creating that and I still everyday is,

Brendon Watt:

it is an adventure for me,

Brendon Watt:

because I'm like, oh, okay, so there's this,

Brendon Watt:

I'd like to have this and that,

Brendon Watt:

you know, so it's always it's just so much more joyful now,

Brendon Watt:

because I know that I can create me every day.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Awesome. That's awesome.

Dr. Brad Miller:

But tell us about what I'm looking for now. Brendon

Dr. Brad Miller:

is an example of someone you've either worked with

Dr. Brad Miller:

or a group perhaps. But I want to hear about,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you know, you you are a facilitator,

Dr. Brad Miller:

as you've mentioned, with a group of Access Consciousness,

Dr. Brad Miller:

do you have your own books and podcasts and so on.

Dr. Brad Miller:

But tell us a bit of about a story

Dr. Brad Miller:

where maybe someone you've worked with

Dr. Brad Miller:

has had some sort of a transformation

Dr. Brad Miller:

or transition from being kind of stuck

Dr. Brad Miller:

or whatever terminology you want to use to a better place?

Dr. Brad Miller:

Can you give us an example

Dr. Brad Miller:

of a person you've worked with?

Brendon Watt:

Or trying to pinpoint one now because there's been 1000s?

Brendon Watt:

Well, there was one lady that I worked with last year,

Brendon Watt:

I think it was last year, and she'd had a lot of abuse in her life,

Brendon Watt:

and basically, like I talked about before,

Brendon Watt:

was just compressed and thought she was wrong,

Brendon Watt:

and that was her fault,

Brendon Watt:

and that she'd bought upon herself

Brendon Watt:

and she was living her life that way.

Brendon Watt:

And she couldn't get out of it.

Brendon Watt:

She tried everything and couldn't find a way out of it.

Brendon Watt:

And with getting her to see that the abuse was wasn't personal,

Brendon Watt:

that she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Brendon Watt:

And people abuse people because they can

Brendon Watt:

not because there's anything wrong with you.

Brendon Watt:

And we got through all of these different things that,

Brendon Watt:

you know, that were there for her

Brendon Watt:

and all these places that she'd stuck herself in time.

Brendon Watt:

You know, she'd stuck herself still in that, kids.

Brendon Watt:

Well, that was there being abuse

Brendon Watt:

and watching her just go, wow, it's that wasn't my fault.

Brendon Watt:

And there's nothing wrong with me

Brendon Watt:

and start expanding her her world.

Brendon Watt:

And then, you know, to see her later on,

Brendon Watt:

when I see things like that, I'm like,

Brendon Watt:

Oh, I'm, that is what brings me the most joy in this world.

Brendon Watt:

It's somebody to go from thinking there is no hope

Brendon Watt:

to going, Oh, wow. None of that was actually my fault.

Brendon Watt:

And I'm not wrong.

Brendon Watt:

And maybe I am on this planet right now to be a gift.

Brendon Watt:

And maybe I am different. And that's okay.

Brendon Watt:

To see that. I'm like, Oh, yes, let's Yes, please.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Yeah,

Brendon Watt:

it's more of that.

Dr. Brad Miller:

It's a prayer.

Dr. Brad Miller:

It's a privilege, it's joy.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And there's really not much better

Dr. Brad Miller:

than being a part some part to play in a life

Dr. Brad Miller:

and a life transformed.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And that's a part of what you're about now.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And you've had your life transformed by your experiences.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And you're in the process now helping others.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Tell us a bit about how people can get connected to you l

Dr. Brad Miller:

earn about the programs you're involved with,

Dr. Brad Miller:

and how you could be helpful to them.

Dr. Brad Miller:

How can people can people connect to Brendon?

Brendon Watt:

so the podcasts that, that I have one,

Brendon Watt:

one choice from change would be a good start,

Brendon Watt:

you can find that on my website,

Brendon Watt:

which is Brandon white.com.

Brendon Watt:

But so that but also access consciousness.com.

Brendon Watt:

And like I said, we've got 1000s

Brendon Watt:

and 1000s of videos online from all different types of people

Brendon Watt:

from any topic, basically, relationship through addiction,

Brendon Watt:

through abuse, through finances, business, all of it.

Brendon Watt:

So check it out.

Brendon Watt:

And the other thing is one of the things that I'm grateful for,

Brendon Watt:

as I know that if I can get through it,

Brendon Watt:

even still now, you know, getting greater.

Brendon Watt:

I'm like, I get it, I really get it,

Brendon Watt:

I get that there's days where you just don't want to keep going.

Brendon Watt:

But please know that there is something else possible.

Dr. Brad Miller:

I want to thank Brendon watt

Dr. Brad Miller:

from Brendon watt.com, for being our guest today.

Dr. Brad Miller:

On Beyond adversity,

Dr. Brad Miller:

hope you heard that you learned some things

Dr. Brad Miller:

about this whole process of how we get caught up

Dr. Brad Miller:

in the complicated matters of life,

Dr. Brad Miller:

and how we can then make choices

Dr. Brad Miller:

to access our conscious self to make decisions

Dr. Brad Miller:

that can change things for ourselves to simplify things.

Dr. Brad Miller:

You heard you learned about what that was about.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And you felt and you heard his story,

Dr. Brad Miller:

his emotional story and how he's been helpful to other people.

Dr. Brad Miller:

But let's talk for a minute about what you can do about it.

Dr. Brad Miller:

That's what we're all about here.

Dr. Brad Miller:

On the beyond adversity podcast.

Dr. Brad Miller:

What can you learn what can you feel and what can you do?

Dr. Brad Miller:

What you can do is boils down to one word, relax,

Dr. Brad Miller:

the way Brendan puts it is relaxing to change,

Dr. Brad Miller:

relax into your choices for relaxing to you.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Perhaps a little bit easier said than done,

Dr. Brad Miller:

but it can be done.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And if you head over to Brendon Watt’s website,

Dr. Brad Miller:

Brendon watt.com.

Dr. Brad Miller:

There are exercises and process

Dr. Brad Miller:

and programs and resources there to help you do just that.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Relax.

Dr. Brad Miller:

You're at the beyond diversity podcast with Dr. Brad Miller.

Dr. Brad Miller:

We give you all kinds of tools

Dr. Brad Miller:

and choices and processes in order to help you

Dr. Brad Miller:

to navigate adversity in your life.

Dr. Brad Miller:

I have a doctorate of transformational leadership myself

Dr. Brad Miller:

and I teach things about a process that I have.

Dr. Brad Miller:

We have lots of guests on the podcast over 170 episodes

Dr. Brad Miller:

that you can access a Dr. Brad miller.com

Dr. Brad Miller:

People who have have a process of overcoming adversity,

Dr. Brad Miller:

overcoming depression, overcoming divorce,

Dr. Brad Miller:

overcoming disease or debt,

Dr. Brad Miller:

or even death and come into a place of peace,

Dr. Brad Miller:

prosperity and purpose

Dr. Brad Miller:

of that you can join us every week

Dr. Brad Miller:

when we delve into this process

Dr. Brad Miller:

of helping people to grow through what they go through.

Dr. Brad Miller:

So until next time, friends, I'm Dr. Brad Miller,

Dr. Brad Miller:

I want to encourage you and share with you

Dr. Brad Miller:

that you can do this you really can't.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And to know that you can always do this

Dr. Brad Miller:

as you continue to do all the good that you can.

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