Hi there.
Speaker:This is gift biz,
Speaker:unwrapped episode 115.
Speaker:Whatever brings you joy will make a difference.
Speaker:So just do it.
Speaker:Hi, this is John Lee,
Speaker:Dumas of entrepreneur on fire,
Speaker:and you're listening to give to biz unwrapped,
Speaker:and now it's time to light it up.
Speaker:Welcome Nick gift biz,
Speaker:unwrapped your source for industry specific insights and advice to develop
Speaker:and grow your business.
Speaker:And now here's your host,
Speaker:Sue Mona height.
Speaker:Hi there.
Speaker:It's Sue and welcome to the gift biz unwrapped podcast.
Speaker:Whether you own a brick and mortar shop sell online or
Speaker:are just getting started,
Speaker:you'll discover new insights to gain traction and to grow your
Speaker:business. And today I am thrilled to have joining us Ray
Speaker:Luskin of the winning adventure.
Speaker:Ray uses creative expression to nurture self-worth resilience,
Speaker:healing, and social change.
Speaker:She helps both individuals and organizations create powerful vision.
Speaker:Then transform their lives.
Speaker:This is achieved by building a problem,
Speaker:solving culture and fostering growth and change through her creative visioning
Speaker:training. Ray is the author of art from my heart and
Speaker:the award winning book,
Speaker:creative accidents.
Speaker:Make the world better.
Speaker:One person,
Speaker:one action at a time.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:I have this kind of vibe that we're going to learn
Speaker:a whole lot today,
Speaker:so I can not wait to get to this Ray,
Speaker:welcome to the show.
Speaker:Thanks Sue.
Speaker:I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker:This is very exciting for me.
Speaker:I a new friend,
Speaker:so thank you.
Speaker:Yay Chatted a little bit beforehand.
Speaker:And I know that this is the start of something great
Speaker:in terms of our relationship.
Speaker:I know it's like,
Speaker:okay, I can't wait to get know when you get back
Speaker:from your trip,
Speaker:we're going to spend time together.
Speaker:Absolutely. We are networking everybody.
Speaker:This is what it's all about.
Speaker:So as creatives,
Speaker:I have a little bit of a tradition here.
Speaker:Not a little bit,
Speaker:a lot,
Speaker:a bit,
Speaker:I guess I would say.
Speaker:And that is by having our guests describe themselves through a
Speaker:motivational candle.
Speaker:So if you were to create an ideal candle for yourself,
Speaker:what color would it be and what would be the quote
Speaker:on the candle?
Speaker:Well, my candle would be purple and it would also have
Speaker:glitter around it.
Speaker:So it shines a little bit extra.
Speaker:And my favorite quote is how wonderful it is.
Speaker:Nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the
Speaker:world. And that's by Anne Frank.
Speaker:Oh my gosh.
Speaker:Well, first of all,
Speaker:it's super powerful just because it's from her.
Speaker:Right, right.
Speaker:But isn't that what you and I,
Speaker:I guess,
Speaker:are striving to make sure everybody understands exactly they can get
Speaker:going. They can do what they want to do.
Speaker:Right. And if you have a creative idea bubbling up,
Speaker:don't tamp it down anymore.
Speaker:You need to take it and embrace it and enjoy it
Speaker:and let it bubble up to the surface because you bring
Speaker:gifts to the world.
Speaker:You're talking about gifts on wrapped and that's what it is.
Speaker:We all have these gifts and the world is waiting for
Speaker:each and every one of us to unwrap them and share
Speaker:them. Absolutely agree with you.
Speaker:And I think a of us diminish the value because it's
Speaker:ours. You're like,
Speaker:how could that be important?
Speaker:Or how could that be worthwhile to anybody else?
Speaker:Cause it's just,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:I just thought of it.
Speaker:It's just my,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:I just created it,
Speaker:right? That kind of a mentality.
Speaker:They also say,
Speaker:well, there's nothing original,
Speaker:but that's not the case because each one of us has
Speaker:a backstory.
Speaker:And what brings us to that point in our lives.
Speaker:And it's special to us,
Speaker:spent a lot of time working with different clients.
Speaker:And there's a young woman.
Speaker:Who's just delightful.
Speaker:She's an aspiring musician.
Speaker:And she's working towards that now writing songs and going back
Speaker:to school and learning how to play more instruments.
Speaker:And her story is so compelling because she lost a child.
Speaker:She realizes I need to share my story with other people
Speaker:and it's through her music so it can be through anything.
Speaker:And it doesn't have to be tragic that came to mind
Speaker:when we were chatting,
Speaker:but it can be just the joy of living.
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:what you have that you've created somebody else I've been working
Speaker:with, you know,
Speaker:she just retired and what are her gifts?
Speaker:What is it that is special about her that can change
Speaker:the world.
Speaker:And I'm always looking at,
Speaker:you can make a difference.
Speaker:We figured out what retirement would look like.
Speaker:And that was really challenging because she had this image that
Speaker:she had to wait until she was 65.
Speaker:And she had a lot of health challenges.
Speaker:And you know,
Speaker:I kept saying,
Speaker:what are you waiting for?
Speaker:What's the life that you would like?
Speaker:And so we plan that out.
Speaker:And then the piece that came together for her,
Speaker:she loves animals.
Speaker:She has three dogs,
Speaker:two cats.
Speaker:So we talked about it and I suggested,
Speaker:what about taking one of your dogs and making it a
Speaker:therapy dog?
Speaker:And she did it.
Speaker:And it has changed her world every day.
Speaker:She can go visit somebody,
Speaker:whether it's in the hospital hospice.
Speaker:And I didn't even know this program is Vistage kids in
Speaker:libraries free to the dog because they're afraid to read out
Speaker:loud to anybody else,
Speaker:but they'll sit and read to the dog.
Speaker:And when I heard that,
Speaker:it was like,
Speaker:Oh my God.
Speaker:So empowering.
Speaker:So everybody's got a gift and it can be just whatever.
Speaker:And that's a creative expression.
Speaker:How do you use your gifts?
Speaker:And it separates you from everybody else.
Speaker:I mean,
Speaker:that is what our personal value brings because nobody else could
Speaker:be that woman who had the path,
Speaker:either of the two examples that you've just had.
Speaker:Everyone has a unique story to tell,
Speaker:to attach with possibly a product or something else that you
Speaker:might say isn't brand new,
Speaker:like candles,
Speaker:aren't brand new,
Speaker:but a backstory of candles would be brand new,
Speaker:right? Something like that.
Speaker:You've led this way perfectly.
Speaker:Let's talk about your backstory,
Speaker:bring us back a little bit and bring us then up
Speaker:to where you are today.
Speaker:What's your journey?
Speaker:What's my journey.
Speaker:Well, my journey is using art for healing.
Speaker:That's where it all began.
Speaker:I was an artist from the time I was a little
Speaker:girl. I'd miss Ray's art school.
Speaker:My sister she's younger and all her girlfriends.
Speaker:And I took them down and we'd draw and all that
Speaker:kind of stuff.
Speaker:I've always been an artist and I've enjoyed creating.
Speaker:And I won an award.
Speaker:If you're not from Chicago,
Speaker:there used to be a famous department store called Marshall fields.
Speaker:And when I was in first grade,
Speaker:I won an award and I got to have my picture
Speaker:hung in Marshall fields and my picture in the newspaper and
Speaker:all that kind of stuff.
Speaker:And it was so cool.
Speaker:And my grandfather was an artist and a painter.
Speaker:And so he said,
Speaker:you know what?
Speaker:I'm going to teach you to paint.
Speaker:Now I was into drawing.
Speaker:I'd never painted before.
Speaker:And so took me to his art studio and that was
Speaker:fabulous. But I found out that he was a pedophile.
Speaker:He was sexually abusive.
Speaker:And I live with that for many,
Speaker:many years.
Speaker:And it became the healing journey.
Speaker:I went through talk therapy,
Speaker:I survived,
Speaker:but I was never thriving until I actually started using my
Speaker:art. Now I have to tell you a little bit of
Speaker:my story in the sense that when I had gone to
Speaker:college, I wanted Ray Rembrandt and Rubin's,
Speaker:that's how I envisioned my life.
Speaker:And I was going to be this famous painter and I'm
Speaker:taking oil painting class.
Speaker:And the professor says you're a terrible painter.
Speaker:And I didn't have the confidence,
Speaker:the wherewithal to,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:and he said,
Speaker:get out of my class.
Speaker:And I did.
Speaker:And so I didn't paint for 12 years.
Speaker:And at that point I didn't realize that I was having
Speaker:flashbacks. My abuse happened in an art studio.
Speaker:I didn't know that this was going to be a trigger.
Speaker:And so I stopped painting.
Speaker:I stopped giving my best to life and my joy was
Speaker:just diminished because I wasn't expressing myself.
Speaker:And so I made a decision at some point because I
Speaker:got into this place,
Speaker:I'm surviving,
Speaker:but it was miserable.
Speaker:And I wanted to literally curl up and die.
Speaker:I mean,
Speaker:I'd get my kids off to school.
Speaker:I was blessed.
Speaker:I had a wonderful husband and two great kids,
Speaker:but every day I get them off to school and I
Speaker:crawl back into bed and fetal position.
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:it's funny.
Speaker:I was just mentioning to you,
Speaker:I live on the train tracks.
Speaker:I lived on the train tracks with them and I kept
Speaker:hearing the train go by.
Speaker:And all I could think about is walking in front of
Speaker:the train.
Speaker:I wanted to end it.
Speaker:The pain was so severe.
Speaker:And I said,
Speaker:I have a choice.
Speaker:And I made a choice.
Speaker:I said,
Speaker:I'm going to die.
Speaker:I'm going to live.
Speaker:And I made the choice to live.
Speaker:Obviously I'm still here.
Speaker:I wanted to be there for my kids.
Speaker:And I went on a healing journey and I think one
Speaker:of my gifts and one of my strengths is my curiosity
Speaker:and my sense of adventure.
Speaker:I'm willing to try almost anything.
Speaker:As far as,
Speaker:at least in the healing modality.
Speaker:I did anger work.
Speaker:I went in deprivation tanks.
Speaker:I did energy work,
Speaker:which nobody was doing in the early eighties.
Speaker:At least not in the Chicago area.
Speaker:It was not known.
Speaker:And so I was really,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:a pioneer and everybody who knew like,
Speaker:Oh, what'd you try?
Speaker:Oh, what would you suggest?
Speaker:TRIBE occupant and all the things that most people at that
Speaker:point weren't into and all the alternative stuff.
Speaker:But the thing that really propelled me was my starting to
Speaker:scribble and doodle my pain.
Speaker:At that point,
Speaker:I wasn't familiar with the term somatic response and our body
Speaker:hangs on to the traumas in ourselves.
Speaker:And there's gotta be a way to release it.
Speaker:And it needs whole brain not just talking.
Speaker:So I would start with scribbles and doodles and I get
Speaker:that anger out.
Speaker:Then I'd stamp my feet and have tantrums.
Speaker:And I hung up a punching bag in my basement and
Speaker:I took a bat and I'd swing at it and I'd
Speaker:scream. I'd wait for the train to go by.
Speaker:I didn't think I was killing my kids or something.
Speaker:So, you know,
Speaker:I did a lot of work and my life changed.
Speaker:I could not believe the difference in who I became in
Speaker:that process.
Speaker:And it took a while,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:obviously to get there,
Speaker:but over the years,
Speaker:I then started sharing my story and that was such a
Speaker:healing tool.
Speaker:So I say art and service saved my life.
Speaker:There were moments about having to go out in the first
Speaker:time I told my story in a public setting.
Speaker:One young woman came up to me and she said,
Speaker:you saved my life.
Speaker:And that's very powerful.
Speaker:The numbers are staggering.
Speaker:One in four young girls are by the time they're 18
Speaker:or sexually abuse.
Speaker:One is six boys.
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:we've got a wounded society here and we need to address
Speaker:that. Think about it.
Speaker:Cancer's getting lots of money,
Speaker:lots of research,
Speaker:lots of attention.
Speaker:Cancer was a secret.
Speaker:Well, this is still considered a secret in our society.
Speaker:So I feel it's my duty to go out and talk
Speaker:about it.
Speaker:I truly do believe art and service saved my life.
Speaker:Wow. Okay.
Speaker:So I am sitting here jaw to the floor,
Speaker:honored that you would share this whole story with us.
Speaker:And I know you're sharing it publicly,
Speaker:but what a potent story to tell us.
Speaker:And I'm sure some of our listeners can totally relate to
Speaker:that. So that's number one.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:I just want to honor the other people who are listening
Speaker:and it can be any trauma that you've experienced.
Speaker:It doesn't have to be sexual abuse can be physical abuse,
Speaker:somebody emotionally abusing you,
Speaker:those kinds of things.
Speaker:So I just wanna honor that.
Speaker:Right. Perfect.
Speaker:And we're going to get into more of that,
Speaker:but I have a couple of things that I want to
Speaker:bring up that have come to mind while you're telling the
Speaker:story. When you were at that point where you were saying
Speaker:you were going to decide whether you were going to choose
Speaker:life or not.
Speaker:Was it just a moment in time?
Speaker:I made a list,
Speaker:the pros and cons list or something?
Speaker:Yeah. I mean,
Speaker:at first I started with the list of all the horrible
Speaker:things that happened to me.
Speaker:And I said,
Speaker:well, that is certainly not productive in this lifetime.
Speaker:So then it was the list.
Speaker:I really started with a list of what am I grateful
Speaker:for that outweighed?
Speaker:The other that became a practice of mine is gratitude.
Speaker:This was just when Oprah was starting to talk about gratitude
Speaker:too. So is synchronicity at its best because I started making
Speaker:a gratitude list every day.
Speaker:And then I did something called a win list.
Speaker:I did well list.
Speaker:And some days they were the same thing I got out
Speaker:of bed and I brushed my teeth and I took a
Speaker:shower. And if that's all I could do that day,
Speaker:that was great.
Speaker:And then it was,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:I was thankful for the electricity in my house.
Speaker:I was thankful the sun Rose.
Speaker:I was thankful my kids are healthy.
Speaker:I'm thankful that I had a beautiful space to live in.
Speaker:I had to work it.
Speaker:I was the person who was,
Speaker:the glass was half empty.
Speaker:I listened to every positive tape.
Speaker:You Louise hay was very popular at that time.
Speaker:Joan Poroshenko.
Speaker:It was where some of the leaders and Larry Dossey who
Speaker:talked about prayer.
Speaker:I know everybody uses Pandora and iTunes now,
Speaker:but I still have some of those tapes.
Speaker:There's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker:Then when you get to the point where you have been
Speaker:grateful, you're recognizing it,
Speaker:you made the choice.
Speaker:Then you take another step and say,
Speaker:now I want to share what I've learned because so many
Speaker:people in the world are affected.
Speaker:I get that.
Speaker:I know that.
Speaker:And so you're going to take the stage and you're going
Speaker:to tell your story for the first time.
Speaker:So a lot of our listeners we'll talk about the fact
Speaker:that things are uncomfortable,
Speaker:that they're nervous,
Speaker:that they're anxious just to present themselves much less,
Speaker:such a personal life,
Speaker:affecting story like yours.
Speaker:Talk through how that happened.
Speaker:You were the going to go stage and talk about it.
Speaker:Walk through a little bit of how you physically got yourself
Speaker:to do that because it had to be super scary.
Speaker:It was Very scary.
Speaker:I mean,
Speaker:my knees were knocking,
Speaker:but it was funny.
Speaker:I belong to a health club at the time and I
Speaker:kept saying health is more than just exercise.
Speaker:So I said,
Speaker:can I organize a day of health with all these other
Speaker:components? So I sort of set that the stage I invited
Speaker:my sister and my mother.
Speaker:Now, my mother had never heard my story.
Speaker:So that was even worse.
Speaker:Oh boy.
Speaker:It was like,
Speaker:okay, I have to do this.
Speaker:But to prepare,
Speaker:I actually created a little,
Speaker:what I call my superhero dance.
Speaker:So I put my hands on my hips.
Speaker:I get across my arms,
Speaker:like wonder woman.
Speaker:And then I spin around with my arms in the air,
Speaker:like Rocky.
Speaker:I truly physically have to prepare myself.
Speaker:I envision,
Speaker:what did I want to say?
Speaker:First? I wrote the speech.
Speaker:I brought some of my artwork with me that I had
Speaker:done my healing artwork,
Speaker:but I spent a lot of time visioning.
Speaker:What is the outcome?
Speaker:I want it.
Speaker:Wasn't just about me.
Speaker:How am I going to impact somebody else?
Speaker:What can I do to help others?
Speaker:And I had to focus on them,
Speaker:not on myself.
Speaker:And I think it's the same thing with anybody.
Speaker:Who's starting a business who has a new product.
Speaker:It's not about us.
Speaker:It's about your clients.
Speaker:It's the investment that you're making in the world.
Speaker:And if we can start looking at we're a being of
Speaker:service and our gifts are serviced and we then also can
Speaker:get paid for that.
Speaker:That's another element that you can consider.
Speaker:But I think it's when we change it from an I
Speaker:perspective to an us perspective,
Speaker:it's all of us and all of us need to hear
Speaker:this message.
Speaker:It's not just you and me anymore.
Speaker:It's an us,
Speaker:Right? Absolutely.
Speaker:Okay. We're moving on.
Speaker:I'm scribbling notes here.
Speaker:Cause I'm like have so many things I want to say
Speaker:to you,
Speaker:but before we go on,
Speaker:I want to just make one comment about another part of
Speaker:your story,
Speaker:which is when your college professor told you that you could
Speaker:not paint and you took that to heart and it virtually
Speaker:destroyed temporarily your vision and probably crushed you as a person.
Speaker:And I want all of us give biz listeners to hear
Speaker:what Ray did.
Speaker:I mean,
Speaker:she took that initially.
Speaker:She found out the source of why she was producing what
Speaker:she was,
Speaker:which is a deeper layer of her story.
Speaker:But I want all you guys to think back in your
Speaker:life, is there something that you really loved and some words
Speaker:that just broke you and you lived with those words and
Speaker:the truth that someone was telling you when it really means
Speaker:to be healing for a lot of people,
Speaker:just because one person says something doesn't mean it's necessarily true.
Speaker:And we've heard these stories over and over again.
Speaker:Multi-facets like,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:Michael Jordan couldn't play basketball.
Speaker:He didn't make his junior high team,
Speaker:things like that all over.
Speaker:Right? So just,
Speaker:if there's been something that you've been living with your whole
Speaker:life that someone has said,
Speaker:I would suggest you go back and revisit that and possibly
Speaker:readjust your thinking.
Speaker:Don't necessarily think it's true.
Speaker:I mean,
Speaker:teachers sometimes are mean well and other,
Speaker:they think they're get real.
Speaker:But as artists and creatives,
Speaker:we live beyond get real.
Speaker:We think in terms of possibilities,
Speaker:I tell the story.
Speaker:Sometimes this is the sad by triple whammy.
Speaker:So not only do I have that in art,
Speaker:but I had her teacher who said,
Speaker:you can't write,
Speaker:you're a terrible writer.
Speaker:And I was in chorus and they asked me to Mount
Speaker:the words now Mt.
Speaker:The words was really,
Speaker:I love to sing.
Speaker:I can't sing in the sense of,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:that kind of thing.
Speaker:But again,
Speaker:whatever brings you joy.
Speaker:And that's what I'm talking about.
Speaker:If your joy was writing and if you just write for
Speaker:yourself, do it,
Speaker:don't worry about when your husband's going to say,
Speaker:or if it's ever going to get printed.
Speaker:If it brings you joy,
Speaker:do it.
Speaker:If you want to sing,
Speaker:sing. Now it was part of,
Speaker:one of my programs that I do when I talk about
Speaker:self care and using the arts for healing.
Speaker:And I actually get people,
Speaker:both help singing and dancing.
Speaker:And I tell people this story and sometimes I'll sing the
Speaker:youth to bitsy spider,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:and I'll play it up.
Speaker:And other times they get people up and we're singing and
Speaker:doing the hokey pokey together,
Speaker:whatever brings you,
Speaker:joy will make a difference.
Speaker:So just do it just like the Nike commercial.
Speaker:Because even if it's not going to add to your financial
Speaker:success, but if it brings you joy in your personal life,
Speaker:it will add to every other aspect of your life.
Speaker:Absolutely it'll rub over because attitude is everything,
Speaker:right? So it'll move over defined for us so that we
Speaker:all understand what is the winning adventure,
Speaker:your business,
Speaker:The winning adventure is several aspects.
Speaker:It is about being creative.
Speaker:And I always talk about life is a winning adventure.
Speaker:We are on a path and it's a process.
Speaker:So that's what makes it an adventure.
Speaker:And we are all on that path.
Speaker:And when I talk about art,
Speaker:I talk about it as process,
Speaker:all the work I've done with people over the years in
Speaker:my book,
Speaker:art for my heart and I had an art school for
Speaker:10 years called art and soul connections.
Speaker:I always talk process.
Speaker:Let's figure out what makes it a winning process.
Speaker:And the adventure is just like we were talking about exploring,
Speaker:playing experimenting with different modalities,
Speaker:techniques, ideas.
Speaker:So when you're talking about creating a new business,
Speaker:ideas are currency.
Speaker:So let's give ourselves permission to wander along that path and
Speaker:just keep exploring and playing without judgment.
Speaker:That was really the inspiration.
Speaker:The other piece of this is I love to travel.
Speaker:I think travel has given me new outlooks on life.
Speaker:I can observe cultures.
Speaker:I can see what's going on in the rest of the
Speaker:world. I can spend time with people who may not look,
Speaker:act, or be like me,
Speaker:but still find that commonality and just the natural beauty of
Speaker:travel and seeing art all over the world and architecture that
Speaker:again is a way of adding to your creative toolkit and
Speaker:giving you inspiration and ideas.
Speaker:So that was the other part of the winning adventure.
Speaker:And one of the things that you really have brought to
Speaker:heart is helping other people discover what their passion or their
Speaker:purpose is.
Speaker:How does that happen?
Speaker:I take people through a process,
Speaker:a series of questions and little art activities.
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:it's not just straight talk again.
Speaker:When you are using a whole brain modality,
Speaker:which is what I call it.
Speaker:You're combining left and right brain.
Speaker:When you're writing versus even writing on your computer,
Speaker:you're creating more neural pathways in your head.
Speaker:There's something called neuroplasticity.
Speaker:So I take you through a series of little exercises and
Speaker:some of them are really fun.
Speaker:And we go through a list of what's your passion.
Speaker:Think about it.
Speaker:What makes you smile from being a superhero?
Speaker:If you were a superhero,
Speaker:who would you be?
Speaker:I talked about wonder woman and Superman.
Speaker:This is so delightful.
Speaker:There's a young girl and she is a superhero.
Speaker:She created this whole identity around it.
Speaker:She fights the ills of the world based on the shoes
Speaker:she's wearing that day.
Speaker:So some days she's wearing rainbow shoes,
Speaker:some days she's wearing boots,
Speaker:it's all about creativity and finding that for yourself.
Speaker:I'll take you through different processes like that.
Speaker:So you imagine you're a superhero or when you're watching a
Speaker:movie or the commercials,
Speaker:what touches your heart?
Speaker:What makes you want to cry?
Speaker:Or just say,
Speaker:Oh, you know,
Speaker:maybe when you're seeing the stories of the dogs,
Speaker:when the pens or the children who are starving in Africa
Speaker:or whatever,
Speaker:it gets,
Speaker:her research,
Speaker:whatever it is,
Speaker:I take you through that.
Speaker:And there's a whole series of questions that we go through.
Speaker:And one of the fun activities is,
Speaker:and you can do this as home.
Speaker:Imagine you're on the cover of time magazine,
Speaker:top a hundred people for what is it that you want
Speaker:to be up there for?
Speaker:This is way we do it.
Speaker:I think you have to make it fun.
Speaker:I think one of the problems that many of us has
Speaker:faced, and I know I faced it many times.
Speaker:We don't feel we have influence and impact on anybody.
Speaker:So think about in your own life,
Speaker:go through a moment in your day who influences you.
Speaker:Now, it may be starting up in the morning,
Speaker:your husband or your child says to you,
Speaker:mom, I love you or this or that.
Speaker:Or maybe it's like,
Speaker:they're encouraging you or applauding you for something you did.
Speaker:And then you go out in the real world and it's
Speaker:the cashier.
Speaker:And you can't find your credit card.
Speaker:Who's influencing you,
Speaker:maybe somebody at work,
Speaker:your boss.
Speaker:So start with the positive influences in your day.
Speaker:You're sitting there on the bus and somebody got up and
Speaker:gave a seat to an elderly person.
Speaker:You're like,
Speaker:wow, I love that.
Speaker:And so the next thing you know,
Speaker:you're opening the door for an elderly person that day.
Speaker:So you're influenced every day.
Speaker:So you start with,
Speaker:what is the influence.
Speaker:The next piece of it is look at the day and
Speaker:see the toxic influences in your life.
Speaker:Maybe your boss stole your idea and he's throwing you under
Speaker:the bus.
Speaker:And it's like,
Speaker:Oh, you know,
Speaker:and it makes you think,
Speaker:who am I?
Speaker:How am I influenced by that?
Speaker:And so we are influenced and we influence people every day
Speaker:and we have that chance to make a difference.
Speaker:You can volunteer,
Speaker:you can give money,
Speaker:but the simplest thing is you can smile and say,
Speaker:hello, how are you?
Speaker:What's your day look like?
Speaker:Is there anything I can do for you?
Speaker:Every person wants to feel that they're seen,
Speaker:heard and understood.
Speaker:And we have that ability to be present.
Speaker:If we take the time,
Speaker:That's really powerful being present,
Speaker:not just the trait.
Speaker:Hey, how are you today without really expecting an answer?
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:those generalities,
Speaker:but really feeling it and wanting to know from somebody or
Speaker:smiling, somebody when you're opening the door,
Speaker:those little things.
Speaker:And I really do try and do this consciously.
Speaker:You walk away feeling good about yourself.
Speaker:I don't know if there's any physiological thing going on when
Speaker:you do something like that.
Speaker:But I walk away feeling uplifted and better.
Speaker:Even though I was the one that initiated that positive energy
Speaker:Counter, they've done studies.
Speaker:And actually there is science to back that when people volunteer,
Speaker:they mentor,
Speaker:they give back your body changes.
Speaker:You do release endorphins and serotonin and things like that.
Speaker:They have found that people who do that have less heart
Speaker:attacks, they live longer.
Speaker:They're generally happier people.
Speaker:Yay, yay.
Speaker:You're going to live a lot longer To battle all the
Speaker:stress I have.
Speaker:So I need some counter something.
Speaker:And so through this process that you take people is the
Speaker:end result.
Speaker:Then feeling a stronger purpose of why you're on earth or
Speaker:are people going towards,
Speaker:should I start a business?
Speaker:What are the outcomes that people will get from the whole
Speaker:process? There are several.
Speaker:One is they will discover their passion and purpose.
Speaker:They will have a clear message of what it is they
Speaker:want to do.
Speaker:They will own that.
Speaker:We spend time then visioning.
Speaker:What will that look like?
Speaker:We sort of create what I call a vision going forward
Speaker:three years from now,
Speaker:what would your life look like if you're living this life
Speaker:that you've just decided that you want and it could be,
Speaker:I want more love in my life.
Speaker:I want better relationships.
Speaker:I want a more spiritually based life.
Speaker:It could be,
Speaker:I want to start a new business and that's up to
Speaker:each person,
Speaker:but people really find their passion and purpose.
Speaker:Then we create a,
Speaker:what I call a three-year vision.
Speaker:We work backwards.
Speaker:We identify certain areas.
Speaker:What is the life they'd love to live?
Speaker:Because when we're motivated,
Speaker:when we have that opportunity,
Speaker:that will keep us focused going forward.
Speaker:And I want to say right here,
Speaker:that passionate purpose doesn't have to be big.
Speaker:You don't have to start a foundation.
Speaker:You don't have to start a business if you want.
Speaker:That's great,
Speaker:but it could be,
Speaker:I want to be healthier.
Speaker:And what would that look like?
Speaker:I want to have better relationships with my family.
Speaker:What does that look like?
Speaker:So those are some of the things that we talk about
Speaker:and you will come away with that.
Speaker:But if you have a desire,
Speaker:we will work backwards and create a roadmap.
Speaker:What are the steps you need to take to become the
Speaker:person who is living that life?
Speaker:And that was one of the keys that I found out
Speaker:over the last few years for myself.
Speaker:It wasn't just about having a vision.
Speaker:I want to have thriving business or this or that.
Speaker:It was who do I need to become that person,
Speaker:that successful business woman,
Speaker:that woman who speaks at the UN because that's one of
Speaker:my dreams.
Speaker:That's my passion and purpose eventually.
Speaker:Very cool.
Speaker:Well, and I'd also like to just comment to our listeners
Speaker:that starting a business is not for everybody,
Speaker:but being creative could be for everybody.
Speaker:So exactly what you're saying.
Speaker:Ray is the area of creativity can affect your life in
Speaker:many ways.
Speaker:I mean,
Speaker:here, we're talking specifically business,
Speaker:but you don't have to,
Speaker:or you might be at a place where you know what
Speaker:you really need to keep your nine to five job for
Speaker:stability based on what your environment is.
Speaker:But it doesn't mean that you can't be expressing your passion
Speaker:creatively on the side.
Speaker:Maybe it turns into a business later,
Speaker:a second career later.
Speaker:But what I believe,
Speaker:I'm hearing you say,
Speaker:Ray, is that you can have the gratitude and the passion
Speaker:and the love of your creativity and all those extra physical
Speaker:things that happen when you're doing something that you love that
Speaker:can then enhance when you get back to the work side,
Speaker:what you're doing every day,
Speaker:even if it's mundane and you're not thrilled with it,
Speaker:you might feel better about it because it's part of a
Speaker:master plan or you're doing something that you so love later
Speaker:in the day,
Speaker:Right? And if we infuse an attitude of I'm giving it
Speaker:my best,
Speaker:I'm really going to be present.
Speaker:We look at work oftentimes,
Speaker:and I've done this,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:Oh God,
Speaker:another responsibility.
Speaker:What would happen if we changed our mentality is I get
Speaker:to do this today and sort of de enthused it with
Speaker:a little enthusiasm and know that six months from now,
Speaker:I'm going to have my first record available,
Speaker:or I'm going to finish that book.
Speaker:That's sitting in the closet.
Speaker:And even if you don't print it for anybody but your
Speaker:family, and I know people who've done that because you can
Speaker:print on demand.
Speaker:They've created a memoir for their family and that's all they
Speaker:ever wanted to do.
Speaker:That's perfectly okay.
Speaker:But it was rallying their creativity and infusing the creativity to
Speaker:everything you do.
Speaker:And it's an outlook about life.
Speaker:That there's all and wonder.
Speaker:And if we adopt that in everything and we start looking
Speaker:for, what's good about what we're doing.
Speaker:One of the people I interviewed in my book,
Speaker:the creative activists,
Speaker:he actually is a high school educator and he studied and
Speaker:he has a master's in creativity and creative leadership.
Speaker:And he does a program every year with his kids real-world
Speaker:problems. And he takes them out in the community,
Speaker:comes to them and ask them to find creative solutions.
Speaker:We never know how it's going to play out in our
Speaker:lives. Talks about his daughter,
Speaker:talking about what can we do today?
Speaker:That would make it better.
Speaker:This is the great story.
Speaker:She said,
Speaker:she is really disappointed in a picture she was drawing.
Speaker:And so she ripped it up and tore it up and
Speaker:was so upset and angry.
Speaker:And he said,
Speaker:what can we do with that?
Speaker:And then they started a new picture and she said,
Speaker:Oh, that could be the mountain or something.
Speaker:And she took the crumpled up paper and attached it to
Speaker:this other picture.
Speaker:Well, if we start looking from a different perspective about everything,
Speaker:we can solve problems at work,
Speaker:we can solve problems at home.
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:if we add that creative element,
Speaker:What you just said,
Speaker:and I'm going to challenge all of our listeners.
Speaker:If you are in a job that you don't enjoy so
Speaker:much, for whatever reason,
Speaker:I want you to go and approach it with a different
Speaker:mindset tomorrow,
Speaker:or if you're listening and you're on your way to work
Speaker:today and smile more at a customer,
Speaker:even if they're a problem customer,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:someone's walking in.
Speaker:You're like,
Speaker:Oh no,
Speaker:here they come work on making someone else's day better and
Speaker:see how you feel about your job when you're done.
Speaker:I mean,
Speaker:you might see a whole new way of getting through the
Speaker:days, interacting with people and you're giving back to the community
Speaker:and those individual people in a much nicer way than just
Speaker:a mundane,
Speaker:you're going through the routine because you're putting in your hours.
Speaker:So that's my challenge for all of you for today.
Speaker:That was perfect.
Speaker:Sue. That was a great one.
Speaker:Challenge yourself.
Speaker:If you're meeting with somebody new to find out three fun
Speaker:facts about them,
Speaker:they'll love it.
Speaker:They'll say,
Speaker:Oh wow,
Speaker:she's really interested in me.
Speaker:And you're going to be like,
Speaker:Oh, wow.
Speaker:Or even just say,
Speaker:tell me about your last vacation.
Speaker:Something as mundane as that.
Speaker:But you can start up something and get personal.
Speaker:I'm thinking No going on a trip,
Speaker:but I can't figure out where to go.
Speaker:Where's the best vacation you ever talk or something like that.
Speaker:Those are great for networking too,
Speaker:because everyone's like,
Speaker:Oh, how are you?
Speaker:What do you do?
Speaker:What's your business?
Speaker:What's your name?
Speaker:Like all of those general questions,
Speaker:but something more interesting.
Speaker:Like that would be great.
Speaker:Plus it sets you apart.
Speaker:Right? Exactly.
Speaker:It was funny.
Speaker:One of the programs I did where we did this passion
Speaker:thing, and we were talking about,
Speaker:where are your favorite places to travel?
Speaker:And what do you love to see?
Speaker:And two women were traveling around the country looking at lighthouses.
Speaker:And so now they became friends and they traveled together.
Speaker:That was their passion.
Speaker:They wanted to see every lighthouse,
Speaker:just like a lot of guys want to go to every
Speaker:baseball field in the country.
Speaker:Interesting. So just to close up this whole section,
Speaker:is there a piece of advice you would give somebody just
Speaker:one who isn't going through your process right now,
Speaker:but any advice for them in terms of,
Speaker:besides my challenge in terms of what they can do to
Speaker:start affecting their life and finding their passion,
Speaker:I would start something called a visual diary.
Speaker:This is that process I started many years ago.
Speaker:Just start collecting pictures of things that really intrigued you,
Speaker:make you smile,
Speaker:make you laugh,
Speaker:make you remember something wonderful in the world and just start
Speaker:collecting pictures and putting them in a notebook.
Speaker:That's as simple as it can get or get a Manila
Speaker:envelope and start putting them together.
Speaker:And then at some point,
Speaker:look at them and say,
Speaker:what is here?
Speaker:Is there a theme?
Speaker:Is there something that's shouting to me?
Speaker:Anyone include words,
Speaker:do that too.
Speaker:This is the kind of stuff you would put on a
Speaker:vision board at some point.
Speaker:But I think this is a great starting place.
Speaker:If you've never done any of this kind of work,
Speaker:just start collecting pictures cards.
Speaker:When you're going out to the bookstore.
Speaker:Even if you take pictures on your phone or books,
Speaker:titles, that intrigued you start noticing what you notice,
Speaker:What you notice and what resonates with you,
Speaker:what you like.
Speaker:You may see some thread that's going through the whole thing
Speaker:that you never knew before about yourself.
Speaker:Exactly. You knew that you Liked it,
Speaker:but you didn't see that it was so consistent all the
Speaker:way through really interesting.
Speaker:I'm going to do that.
Speaker:This is just a simple process anybody can do.
Speaker:And I really started it years ago because Julia Cameron came
Speaker:out with her book the artist's way,
Speaker:and she was all about writing.
Speaker:And I knew at that point,
Speaker:because I was working in a lot of abuse women,
Speaker:then they wouldn't leave their diaries out for anybody to see
Speaker:or read.
Speaker:And they were very hesitant.
Speaker:And I said,
Speaker:well, let's start a visual diary because it's all personal interpretation,
Speaker:whatever pictures you're putting in there is personal,
Speaker:right? So there's no judgment.
Speaker:Absolutely perfect.
Speaker:That idea.
Speaker:Let's move now into our reflection section.
Speaker:And this is a real quick look at you more on
Speaker:a productive way of how you get everything done during your
Speaker:day. Is there a natural trait that you see yourself calling
Speaker:upon over and over again that helps you get through the
Speaker:day and be as productive as you are?
Speaker:I set ritual the way I start my days with ritual
Speaker:and that really propels me through the day.
Speaker:So I start,
Speaker:I light a candle.
Speaker:I say a little prayer.
Speaker:I usually like incense,
Speaker:or sometimes I use a Roma therapy,
Speaker:whatever I'm feeling at that moment.
Speaker:And so I start my day with that.
Speaker:And I also read my vision.
Speaker:I mentioned before I have my own vision of what I
Speaker:would like to see.
Speaker:So I start my day with gratitude,
Speaker:my vision and my ritual.
Speaker:That's sort of keeps me focused going through the day.
Speaker:And when I feel myself waning,
Speaker:I'll take a break and I'll go out in nature,
Speaker:take a walk,
Speaker:and then I will come back and then we'll read my
Speaker:vision again.
Speaker:Beautiful, perfect ritual.
Speaker:And I think that's so powerful.
Speaker:I don't remember where I read this,
Speaker:but a lot of people who are really,
Speaker:really productive have a ritual or a routine like that,
Speaker:that is fulfilling,
Speaker:but they don't have to think about,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:it's just the way they start.
Speaker:Like you get up,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:exactly what you're going to do.
Speaker:And it kind of jump-starts your whole day gets you on
Speaker:the path to get going and you don't have to recreate
Speaker:it because you got the ritual already.
Speaker:Exactly. Okay.
Speaker:So Ray,
Speaker:is there any tool that you use that helps you keep
Speaker:productive or really helps you move forward in your day?
Speaker:Basically, Camp has been very,
Speaker:very helpful.
Speaker:Over the years when I was working on my book,
Speaker:it was a place I could put everything.
Speaker:I could then speak with the editors at the time we
Speaker:could send the notes back and forth and everything was together
Speaker:because otherwise I have everything spread out all over my computer.
Speaker:And I did that last year too,
Speaker:with the creative activist summit where I interviewed another 25 liters.
Speaker:I never said that,
Speaker:but I've interviewed 180 creative leaders around the country in the
Speaker:last several years.
Speaker:You were holding out on us,
Speaker:Ray. Yeah.
Speaker:And so I could all the information there,
Speaker:their headshots,
Speaker:their bio,
Speaker:the interview,
Speaker:the transcription.
Speaker:So I have everything together in one place.
Speaker:And so when I do something with it,
Speaker:it's always together.
Speaker:I've never up until now.
Speaker:I've been really great about really creating the right kind of
Speaker:files and folders on my computer.
Speaker:The technology piece still sort of eludes me at moments.
Speaker:And so this was the best way I could to handle
Speaker:that. Plus then you can give other people access and you
Speaker:don't have to think God you're out of your email box.
Speaker:Right. But so everyone who has access to base camp and
Speaker:the certain files,
Speaker:then you put it there once.
Speaker:And then all you have to do is give access to
Speaker:people who need it.
Speaker:So it is a lot less work for sure.
Speaker:My virtual assistant can handle a whole lot from there.
Speaker:Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker:exactly. Super perfect one.
Speaker:Okay. And you've mentioned the artist's way already.
Speaker:Is there another book besides yours that you would suggest our
Speaker:listeners look at?
Speaker:One of the books that I love is called the Art
Speaker:of possibility by Roseman stone,
Speaker:Zander and Benjamin Zander.
Speaker:And he is actually a conductor.
Speaker:So he brings back the idea of music,
Speaker:but what I loved about this book and it added something
Speaker:really brilliant to my own work that I do with people.
Speaker:When he was teaching his students,
Speaker:he wanted to inspire them to do their best to practice.
Speaker:And he said,
Speaker:I wanted to take grades away.
Speaker:What he talked about.
Speaker:I'm going to give everybody an a,
Speaker:but to give you an a,
Speaker:I need you to write,
Speaker:take a vision of what you're going to become in the
Speaker:next year,
Speaker:which is something we had just been talking about is like,
Speaker:who do you need to become in the next year to
Speaker:be that a student?
Speaker:So the students would start talking about,
Speaker:well, I gave up doubt and I gave up my hours
Speaker:on TV to spend more time in practice.
Speaker:Those kind of things.
Speaker:It was beautiful because it really reflected.
Speaker:They had to take the time to think about who do
Speaker:I want to be?
Speaker:And if I'm going to be the best musician I can
Speaker:be, maybe I need to dive into what's holding me back.
Speaker:What is the passion that I need to bring me up
Speaker:to that next level of performance.
Speaker:We need to look at those.
Speaker:And one of those topics you're going to be talking about
Speaker:on your Facebook live is about what holds us back.
Speaker:And if we take a look at those,
Speaker:and so I do this now with my clients,
Speaker:I ask them,
Speaker:I'm going to give you an a,
Speaker:but what does that look like one year from now?
Speaker:And then I asked them to write about it.
Speaker:I love the way you kind of back and into your
Speaker:questions. They're so unique.
Speaker:And so creative,
Speaker:I guess,
Speaker:no surprise Ray,
Speaker:right? Oh boy.
Speaker:Give him his listeners just as you're listening to the podcast
Speaker:today. I know you love audio books too.
Speaker:So I've teamed up with audible for you to get an
Speaker:audio book,
Speaker:possibly the artist's way or the art of possibility.
Speaker:I'm not sure if those are in audio already,
Speaker:but any book that you would like for free on me,
Speaker:if you haven't done so already,
Speaker:all you need to do is go to gift biz,
Speaker:book.com and make a selection.
Speaker:Okay? Ray,
Speaker:I'm switching this around on you.
Speaker:Now it's your turn to dare to dream.
Speaker:I'd like to present you with a virtual gift.
Speaker:It's a magical box containing unlimited possibilities for your future.
Speaker:So this is your dream or your goal of almost unreachable
Speaker:Heights that you would wish to obtain.
Speaker:Please accept this gift and open it in our presence.
Speaker:What's inside your box.
Speaker:Well, the first thing which I mentioned before,
Speaker:as I would like to speak at the UN,
Speaker:so I really want to take time and do a beautiful
Speaker:meditation, a heart opening meditation that brings us together to that
Speaker:space where I can talk about my dream.
Speaker:I love Martin Luther King's.
Speaker:I have a dream.
Speaker:I have a dream that women and children are loved,
Speaker:safe, and empowered to be all they can be to stand
Speaker:up in their brilliance,
Speaker:power and purpose,
Speaker:and that they have autonomy over their bodies and that they
Speaker:are free to choose to whomever they want to marry.
Speaker:And when all these kinds of images,
Speaker:and I want to share these with the women at the
Speaker:UN and talk about the power of visioning.
Speaker:So that is one piece.
Speaker:And then further down the road.
Speaker:This is my big dream.
Speaker:I would like to be a honoree.
Speaker:I can see myself,
Speaker:I'm already there.
Speaker:The president puts on a metal and I'm sitting there and
Speaker:they're taking pictures of all of us,
Speaker:all the people who've supported artists around the world.
Speaker:And I have a dream to Connect 1 million creative activists
Speaker:around the world who want to make a difference using their
Speaker:creative gifts and their creative thinking.
Speaker:And so I am doing that and I am connecting artists
Speaker:and community leaders because I believe the arts are the way
Speaker:to open up hearts and minds to have rich new dialogues,
Speaker:to engage community and to create actual change and give hope
Speaker:to the world,
Speaker:give hope to those people who are suffering.
Speaker:I have George Clooney,
Speaker:he's making the presentation.
Speaker:So that's it.
Speaker:And they're playing the music of Shaharazad because of a thousand
Speaker:stories from Arabian nights.
Speaker:And then you have on the screen,
Speaker:all these artists and community leaders working with me and the
Speaker:projects that they have created around the world.
Speaker:One of the women that I love,
Speaker:her name is Lori Marshall.
Speaker:And she does something called the singing tree.
Speaker:And she's created murals everywhere.
Speaker:And she brings school kids together.
Speaker:They figure out what they need to talk about.
Speaker:What is necessary in their community.
Speaker:What do they need?
Speaker:So one community was talking about what can we do that?
Speaker:Won't put us in jail and live our lives.
Speaker:And they start talking about creativity and maybe it's music and
Speaker:writing and art.
Speaker:And they created this beautiful tree.
Speaker:And then it became part of a dialogue.
Speaker:They took it to another school to talk about it.
Speaker:What can we do to take care of ourselves that will
Speaker:cost us money?
Speaker:Won't end up in jail,
Speaker:those kinds of things,
Speaker:Right? Well,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:it's a shame that you don't have enough detail behind your
Speaker:dreams. That's one of my best skills.
Speaker:When you ask,
Speaker:what do I do?
Speaker:I really help people.
Speaker:And that's part of the process is I help them give
Speaker:the details to their dreams because so many times people say,
Speaker:well, I want a boyfriend.
Speaker:What does that look like?
Speaker:You're walking down the street,
Speaker:he's holding your hand.
Speaker:You're taking a handsome carriage ride in central park.
Speaker:You're eating strawberries and champagne.
Speaker:So I have the details because when you add the details
Speaker:and you make it,
Speaker:you use all your senses,
Speaker:it becomes more powerful.
Speaker:It's more attractive to the universe.
Speaker:You're creating the energy behind it.
Speaker:Absolutely. I love all of that.
Speaker:Now, if our listeners want to learn more about you and
Speaker:about your program,
Speaker:where would they go?
Speaker:It's the winning adventure.com.
Speaker:And you can write me there.
Speaker:I would love to give any of your listeners a one
Speaker:hour free coaching session.
Speaker:No way.
Speaker:Yeah. Oh my gosh.
Speaker:You guys,
Speaker:how would they get in touch with you for that?
Speaker:Okay. You can write me at Ray,
Speaker:R a E L U S K I n@aol.com.
Speaker:That's my personal email.
Speaker:So I'm bound to get it.
Speaker:If you want to start by going to my website,
Speaker:I have something called a visioning guide,
Speaker:which gives you some little input about how you can start
Speaker:visioning for yourself if that's where you want to start,
Speaker:because I'm not,
Speaker:everybody's ready to work.
Speaker:One-on-one but you'll also see it,
Speaker:the Winnie adventure that you've got this opportunity to just play.
Speaker:And I really believe play,
Speaker:explore experiment.
Speaker:Don't put any pressure on yourself.
Speaker:Just identify yourself that you heard on here,
Speaker:and I'd be happy to connect with you.
Speaker:Wonderful. Thank you so much for that.
Speaker:That's a huge give really appreciate it.
Speaker:Play, explore experiment,
Speaker:wonderful Ray,
Speaker:such a powerful conversation.
Speaker:Thank you so much for sharing,
Speaker:for telling us all about creativity and leading to passion and
Speaker:leading to purpose in life.
Speaker:I mean,
Speaker:we're all here.
Speaker:We might as well be number one,
Speaker:making the most of this life that we have for ourselves,
Speaker:but also giving to other people,
Speaker:which is exactly how it turns around and is beneficial for
Speaker:you as well.
Speaker:So thank you so much.
Speaker:I really appreciate everything you shared today.
Speaker:And may your candle always burn bright?
Speaker:Where are you in your business building journey,
Speaker:whether you're just starting out or already running a business,
Speaker:and you want to know your setup for success.
Speaker:Find out by taking the gift biz quiz,
Speaker:access the quiz from your computer at Vic dot L Y
Speaker:slash gift biz quiz or from your phone by texting gift
Speaker:biz quiz to four four two,
Speaker:two, two.
Speaker:Thanks for listening and be sure to join us for the
Speaker:next episode.
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Speaker:go live.
Speaker:And thank you to those who have already left the rating
Speaker:and review by subscribing rating and reviewing help to increase the
Speaker:visibility of gifts on round.
Speaker:It's a great way to pay it forward,