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BITE SIZED #22: I DON'T FEEL LIKE I AM ENOUGH
4th May 2021 • Guild of Dads: Vision+Action=Meaning • Joe Horton
00:00:00 00:06:19

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One of the hardest points for Dads is when our inner critics pay us a visit which can be from time to time, daily, monthly or whenever but you can be sure they will come with a barrage of self defeating thoughts.

In todays episode I delve into how nefarious they can be and how you can overcome them.

BITE SIZED: Short, sharp and to the point I tackle topics relevant to you guys and you can also get involved to tell me what you want to hear me talk about

GRAB A FREE COPY OF MY E BOOK THE DAD BLUEPRINT RIGHT HERE

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If you want to join the Guild of Dads you can do so via our Facebook Group

Transcripts

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Hi, and welcome to another edition of Guild of dad's bite-size I'm your host.

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Joe Horton on today's episode.

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And I'm going to be talking to you today about the phrase.

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I don't feel like I'm enough.

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Now it's something that we all go through.

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I think his dad's.

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At one point or another.

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During our evolution as a man and evolution as a dad

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and it comes up frequently.

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And what I often see is a statement like.

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I don't feel like I'm worthy.

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I don't feel like I'm enough.

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I feel like a piece of shit.

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I feel like crap.

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I feel like I'm letting people down.

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And these are kind of, really kind of, sort of self-defeating and also very hard.

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, statements that we make to ourselves about how we feel.

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And our inner critic kind of goes out, it goes into overdrive.

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It goes mad.

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And what happened?

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It was, it, it feels like a freight train.

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If it was like a runaway freight train.

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Of thoughts approaching a hundred miles an hour.

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Where does it come from?

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Nobody knows.

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What I do know is that.

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, what happens is when we're kind of feeling down or we're, we're finished.

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And a bit depressed, or if we're feeling a bit low, what happens is our thoughts

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take on like a mind of their own.

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But also our thought is like a, , our brain is like a thought machine.

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It churns out.

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You know, hundreds, thousands of thoughts on a kind of daily basis.

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And what often happens is that we end up getting caught up in these thoughts, but

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in actual fact, it's very important too.

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Fully understand that we are not our thoughts.

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Our brain is going to churn out these hundreds of thousands of thoughts.

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Regardless of how we feel about ourselves, but what happens is when

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we're down about ourselves, it is going to go into negative overdrive.

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And for sure.

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It is going to make you feel absolutely terrible about yourself.

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Okay.

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So what I want to do in today's.

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Uh, episode of bite-size is just break this down a little bit.

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You know, when you start thinking.

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, I don't feel worthy.

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I feel like crap.

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I feel like a piece of shit.

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You can't out-think these talks, you know, , the more you think about them.

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The more they come and the more they come stronger.

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And it's a bit like when someone says to you don't think of a.

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I don't know, a 12 ton pink elephant.

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The first thing that pops into your head is 12.

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Tom pink elephant.

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So understand this about thoughts, the more you try and out-think

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them, and the more you try and ruminate over them and play with

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them and toy with them in your head.

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The often, often the more they, the more they come at you.

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So.

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It's important to understand that you can let your thoughts be.

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You can let them be.

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You don't need to, , engage with them.

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You don't need to poke them.

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You don't need to prod them.

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You don't need to go over them.

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You don't need to try and.

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Uh, disseminate them.

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You can just let them be all right.

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That's the first thing to understand about thoughts.

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The other thing is, is that you can begin to challenge them.

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Okay.

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You can get into a dialogue.

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. And that's not the same as ruminating.

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That's not the same as our thinking them.

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It's actually beginning to push back on this in a data dialogue

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that you're having with yourself.

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So if there's a case that you're thinking.

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I don't feel worthy.

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Okay.

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Worthy of what.

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Worthy of what.

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, Worthy of whose standards who's, , who's setting the standards

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for how you live your life.

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Okay.

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Because often we think about in terms of.

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I don't feel worthy, but it's kind of, then it sort of.

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Is emptiness they're worthy of worthy of what worthy of worthy of

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who, who standards you look into.

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Be worthy of okay.

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Because again, once you get clarity on that, you realize

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that actually your thoughts that you're telling yourself about.

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I don't feel worried that you're like, I don't admit where are those coming from?

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So the other thing is, is, you know, if you're feeling that

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you're letting people down, who are your, who are you letting down?

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Why are you letting them down?

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Challenge them, these thoughts push back on them.

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Because the thing is, is once you begin to actually take them apart,

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you actually realize actually I'm not letting anyone down.

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And there's actually no reason why I'm letting anyone down.

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You know , ask yourself what is going well right now in your life.

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What things , are you accomplishing, you know, what are the positives that

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you can take out what's going on?

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Because what happens is when you begin to kind of challenge the thoughts

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that are going on in your head and the dialogue that's going on in your head,

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often a lot of this stuff will begin to fall away because you'll be able to

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see it for what it is and what often it is, is a complete and utter fallacy.

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Okay.

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And the last thing that I want to point out when you're kind of

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going through this whole thing of, I don't feel like I'm enough.

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Is to begin to treat yourself like you would a friend, you know, we

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often beat each over, over the back with a, like a proverbial stick or a.

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, or like a hammer.

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And.

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In actual fact.

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If we would treat ourselves a lot more like a friend.

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With some compassion and, and some, , understanding, then that would go a

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lot further in enabling us to overcome these periods where we feel a bit low.

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So I hope some of that resonates, you know, there's a few different

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skills that you can use there.

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But the main thing is, is to begin to investigate little things that you

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can use at work for you, little hacks.

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To kind of short fuse and lift you out of these periods of when you

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don't feel worthy, you don't feel enough if you want to grab a system

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and a blueprint, which helps you to level up in all areas of your life,

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including relationships, mental health.

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And also your physical health.

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Grab a copy of my blueprint.

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If you're watching on social media at the link will be coming up

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along the bottom of the screen.

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That that blueprint is over@guildofdads.com.

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Ford slash dad.

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That's dad.

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And capital's.

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Dad's dot com.

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Ford slash dad.

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And until next time.

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I'll speak to you on gear of dad's bite-size.