Are you ready to meet our first co-host, Laura Shook-Guzman? In this episode, Sonya interviews her longtime podcast collaborator and friend, Laura, sharing the story of their work together and Laura’s journey to reclaiming herself personally & professionally. 

Laura talks about her passion for founder mental health, the importance of reclaiming ourselves as individuals & entrepreneurs, and the ways past trauma can inhibit our growth. 

In this episode, you get a chance to learn more about Laura, why she agreed to join this podcast, and some of the books & resources she uses to support her well-being and wholeness.   

Join us as we discuss: 

• 12:04 Laura’s focus on reclaiming connection with the body.
• 14:40 The ways that moments of tension and of joy can both signal an opportunity to step into our higher selves.
• 18:07 Recognizing - and letting go of - the need to meet the expectations of others.
• 32:51 The ways that individual trauma and systemic constraints limit our personal development.
• 35:12 The commonality of trauma and how the body can get stuck trying to process it.

Resources mentioned in the show:

• The House of the Spirits, by Isabel Allende http://www.isabelallende.com/en/book/house 
• Author Sarah Addison Allen https://www.sarahaddisonallen.com/ 
• The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, & Healing in a Toxic Culture, by Dr. Gabor Maté and Daniel Maté https://drgabormate.com/book/the-myth-of-normal/
• No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model, by Dr. Richard Schwartz https://ifs-institute.com/nobadparts 
• Meditative Story podcast https://meditativestory.com/ 

Learn more about the co-hosts: 

---> Sonya Stattmann is the host & creator of Reclaiming Ourselves™. She is a TEDx & corporate speaker and has been working with leaders around personal development for the last 22 years. She teaches workshops & offers small group programs around emotional intelligence, transformational & embodied leadership, and energy management. You can find more about her here:

Website: https://www.sonyastattmann.com/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonyastattmann/

---> Laura Shook-Guzman, co-host of Reclaiming Ourselves, LMFT, and Somatic Psychotherapist for entrepreneurs has been a mental health professional for 23 years. She’s the founder of three businesses; the world's first Wellness Coworking Community Soma Vida, the global community Women Who Cowork, and her own therapy practice, Conscious Ambition. You can find more about her here: 

Website: http://www.laurashookguzman.com/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurashookguzman/ 

What you can do next:

1. For more episodes, opportunities, and information on the hosts, visit http://reclaimingourselvespodcast.com/
2. Love the podcast? Get episodes delivered to your inbox with articles related to the topics we talk about. You can sign up at http://reclaimingourselvespodcast.com/
3. Need a little weekly magic? Sign up for Worthy Love Notes & weekly affirmations here https://www.sonyastattmann.com/self-worth-affirmations-2/  

Thank you for being you. We are so honored to have you as a listener!

moments of that freedom or that moment where you

just reclaimed something in yourself and even con maybe not consciously

at the time where you even going, oh, I'm reclaiming this, right.

It's just, you know, in hindsight now I realize, oh, that was one

of this, these pivotal moments in which I started to shed the.

To be what other people needed me to be and to step more

confidently and being myself, you know, but that's been a journey.

And like you said, it's gonna be a thread because you know, here I am fast

forward these 25 years later you know, and then it's like, oh my goodness.

How many times did I have to reckon with that over and over again

Does it ever end?

Does the reckoning ever end Laura?

Cuz I, I I'm convinced that this is a lifelong journey, right?

It's not a, it's not a, like we get to some end point where it's like,

we've reclaimed it all and we're done

if you know there is something deep inside of you that is yearning to be

seen, to be known, and to have expression.

If there's something you need to reclaim and remember: maybe it's your

power or your purpose, your gifts.

This is the podcast for you.

Welcome to Reclaiming Ourselves.

I'm your host, Sonya Stattmann and I'm honored to have three amazing

co-hosts, Laura Shook-Guzman, Belinda Haan, and Emily Soccorsy, here with

me on this journey to self discovery.

Every week we're gonna help you unravel and remember what it means to reclaim

yourself, to own who you are to recognize your innate worth and greatness.

Now, those podcast is a deep dive into self-development healing and empowerment.

So hold on.

Here we go.

Just a quick note, before we dive into today's episode.

These initial episodes are introduction episodes.

One of the reasons I chose to have co-hosts instead of guests, was

to give you the opportunity to get to know us, and to spend the topic

episodes talking about the topics.

So today's special episode is a deep dive into one of the co-hosts' stories.

It's gonna give you context for why we are here and what we

have to contribute this season.

Enjoy getting to know us.

Thank you for listening.

And if you wanna learn more, be sure to visit reclaimingourselvespodcast.com.

Welcome back to the reclaiming ourselves podcast.

And I am.

So excited right now because I get to do the interview episode with Laura.

Now, Laura and I have talked a lot about ourselves.

We, you know, have shared a lot of who we are on our other podcasts together,

but I, I'm excited to kind of approach this with a new lens, right shine, a

new light on where Laura is today and,

how she's integrated along the way.

So welcome Laura.

I'm so excited that we're here together today.

I'm really excited to be here as well.

I feel like it might be a little bit like we just put a disclaimer,

this might be like Laura verbally processing therapy session.

As we talk about the answers to these questions, cuz there's just like a

lot of change and a lot of different integration, I think that's happening.

So thanks for.

Turning the mic on me in this way to be able to, to kind of explore I'm

looking forward to the conversation.

Me too.

It's gonna be awesome.

I have no doubt.

So let me start at the beginning.

Assuming that we have new listeners, who've never listened to us talk

before let's cover some of the basics.

Like where do you live?

Do you have kids?

Do you have a partner?

Give us a little bit of background about where you currently are.

I am in Austin, Texas, where I've been for now.

Oh my goodness.

Over a decade.

I grew up in Texas but went away for a while.

Went to California.

I went to Europe, went to Canada.

So back in.

And home land territory, but I dream of traveling a lot again, but Austin,

Texas will probably always be home base.

And I'm here with my family.

I've got my daughter who is off in college and she's second year

university of British Columbia.

That's just wild.

She's all the way up in Canada.

And then my son who is turning nine going into third grade, so they're

getting older, I'm getting older.

And my husband, Jay and I are laughing a lot about like, okay, wait, by

the time he 10 years from now, are we gonna have all the energy to do

all the things that we wanna do?

that would say it's like, we're ready to do now.

Yes.

I know it's so funny cuz you know, for people who haven't listened to us

before, you know, Laura and I both kind of have a similar journey with kids.

We have an older child and we have a new child that we had in our new marriages.

And I think like going around the bend again, is a very interesting

process when you kind of think, wow, I could be completely free

of kids if I hadn't had the second one, which we love, which we love.

Right.

But

It's so true.

We have that in common, you know, the 12 year gap, we could be empty

nesters right now, but of course, you know, there's a lot also to enjoy

about parenting a second time around when you're more relaxed, more calm.

And you know, and I did a lot of that traveling when my daughter was little.

And now it's different to have , the roots.

Like I said, you know, kind of growing up here, having family nearby, if my

mom and dad that aren't far away, that can be very involved grandparents.

And my mother-in-law as well is not too, you know, very far away.

So, you know, having that is very different experience than my first

time around where I was doing it.

You know, The support of family, but then that's actually what led me to

make a lot of family with friends and finding other moms and dads and other

parents that were doing it in a similar way, you know, on their own away from

a lot of extended family or community and, and making community for ourselves.

And, and I'm interested to know if that is

a part of your journey, right?

Like one of the things that I wanna kind of talk about in this episode is, what

are sort of two to three pivotal points in your life that you feel you maybe

really reclaimed yourself, or you really remembered who you were like, you know,

what are some of those, those points that really started to help you define yourself

and recognize who you actually are?

that's a really great question.

I've been asking myself a, a lot about that too, because now I'm

marking about, you know, 25 years.

since, you know, starting this journey, I mean, I graduated grad school just to,

to age myself here a little bit in 2000.

And prior to that, I was already a mental health professional.

Cuz when I got out of undergrad, I started as a manager at a

residential treatment center.

So, I mean, definitely looking at 25 years of doing this type of work,

working in mental health, I was always curious about what are the different

variables, the different aspects.

Support human growth.

I was always curious about the resilience in people.

I remember actually early on people saying to me, oh, that must be so hard.

You're working in, you know, residential treatment centers, you know, the

stories of those children and all of the different levels of abuse and

things that you're witnessing and, and trying to support that must be so hard.

And I would say, yes, it is hard yet.

What I'm drawn to is.

Ability to persevere to not just survive in some situations, but go on

to transcend their trauma to overcome.

And that is actually what always got me kind of like, that was the

thing that supported my curiosity.

It's like, wow, why is it that some people can really.

through and beyond and actually transform.

And then for some people they can't there there's something missing.

And and often what I found was missing when I.

Talk with clients about like, I would ask them, you know, do you remember

someone that was there for you?

And do you remember someone like that saw you and connected with you?

And for those that were able to say, yeah, I had that teacher or I had that

grandparent, or I had that neighbor or that aunt and the uncle, someone

in their life at, even in the hardest of times, if they had someone they

connected with and they felt saw them.

Listen to them, they were doing more to heal and they were more resilient.

And so I think that like captured my curiosity and has guided my

career path as, as a therapist and as an entrepreneur is what happens

when we're more deeply connected.

And as children, we have to deeply connect with someone else to learn about it.

Like our nervous systems are not fully formed until the age of two.

Like we have to learn from our caregivers what it means to experience connection.

Like we have this birthright, but we also learn it around other people.

And so I just have been fascinated about like, well, what happens

if you didn't learn that?

Can you still learn?

And

Has anyone learned that?

Right.

Right.

And, and, and I just think like we're in an interesting time about, you

know, the levels of disconnection.

So it's just interesting for me to look back now and realize I had no idea

what was gonna happen in the world.

Obviously over the 25 years that I was, that I was on this path that I am a

therapist, but I'm seeing the connection.

people's ability to connect to themselves and connect to others and connect to the

earth and the environment around them.

Like that was always something that I was curious about and tracking.

And now I find myself working with clients in this time in which there's an epidemic

of isolation, loneliness, disconnection, disease, dis-ease in the body.

So yeah, so I think I'm not sure.

I'm articulating at all that like bullet point, like, but I think

that it's definitely these, these themes around human resilience

connection, the power of community.

and that's really kind of what prompted you even ask me this question, I think

is I was talking about the power of community, you know, and, and it's like,

that was a big piece of becoming a parent and feeling isolated and overwhelmed

and, and needing to find friendship and connection and, and validation from other

people in a way that I may have not needed as much in the past before becoming a mom.

Like it was such a vulnerable.

Thing that I needed that level of connection and community.

And then as a therapist, I was just always interested in, in how powerful

the social connections are between human beings and what they can create for us.

And do you feel that, like, that's such a core piece of what

we might talk about this season as well about reclaiming ourselves that

is it's about reconnecting to ourselves and others, but you know, how would

you kind of bridge that with sort of this idea of reclaiming ourselves?

Yeah, I think exactly that is reclaiming.

This connection is about reclaiming connection with self and as a somatic.

Trained therapist is really, and that's for those listeners that may not know

is like body based psychotherapy, really understanding the language of sensation

felt sense how the nervous system is experiencing the world, how that affects

our emotions and you know, the physical body it's like, and they're thinking

minds like all of that integration.

I think that that is where I really wanna focus this season

is what does it mean to reclaim.

the connection to self through the body.

Yes.

one of my favorite topics.

and this, and, and I just wanna clarify, and it's not like,

how are, you know, this is all important, like your sleep hygiene and your nutrition

and movement and all those things are extremely important, but we're gonna

talk more in those, the subtle body as the Buddhist psychologist refer to

it as like the subtle, the energetic.

With a felt sense of things.

Like I find that many of my clients come into my office without

knowing the language of their body.

They can tell me that they feel sad or that they feel frustrated or angry.

But when I ask, how do they know, where do they feel that in the body?

How does the body tell them that this is the experience that they're sitting with?

Many of them don't know how to answer that question.

And interestingly, many of them.

Or worried about that being a individual flaw, they're like, oh, is

that something everybody else can do?

I'm like, no, it's really something that we aren't taught.

We aren't really learning in schools a little bit more social development

and happening, but very little discussion around the power of the

body and what the body tells us about.

Our experiences and how to respond and respect the needs of the body.

So returning to self isn't, just a philosophical conversation

with my with my clients or in this season that we're gonna go.

And it's like, how do we really step back into reclaiming it through the body?

yes, I can't wait.

And so to kind of bridge this back to you, what are some, you know,

maybe times in your life, you know, if you could share with us where

you reclaimed yourself, right?

Where you reclaimed that connection to the body or where

you remembered, who you really are.

You know, I, I think sometimes when we talk about reclaiming ourselves,

you know, everyone has a different experience of what that feels like,

what that looks like, what situation or circumstances that comes out of.

And I think all of us sharing our own experiences gives the listeners

kind of some reference points that they can look at in their own life

may, may resonate, may not resonate, but for you, what were some pivotal

times that you reclaimed yourself?

What did it feel like?

What did it look like?

What were the circumstances?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Hmm, that's really good.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And, and it's interesting cuz I first thought went to, you know, Something

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that was a difficult period of my life.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I think that's often.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

The case of like discomfort creates an opportunity for stepping into a

Laura Shook-Guzman:

higher version of ourselves, or just like, it's like the, the tension

Laura Shook-Guzman:

of the rubbing of the Pearl, right?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's like it, you need that tension.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But I think first I wanna, there's two, two times in my life that come to mind

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and the first one's actually more of a, like a joyous moment or like a place.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Embodying a felt sense of freedom and confidence.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I think, you know, for me, that was early on in my twenties

Laura Shook-Guzman:

when I individuated from.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

My family.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And from my home state, like I talked about growing up in Texas, I grew up

Laura Shook-Guzman:

in a small town and it was wonderful to have a community of so many people

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that knew you and supported you.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And, you know, everybody knew everybody's business and I couldn't wait to move

Laura Shook-Guzman:

beyond what I felt like was kind of this confines of a small town and

Laura Shook-Guzman:

go into the big city, go into, you know, these bigger parts of life

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that I, I wanted to get away from.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Everyone, knowing who I was.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I almost wanted to slip into this like anonymous way of being

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and, and observe and notice people.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so when I went off to college, that was, that was the first step.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It was really when I moved from Texas to California and I started grad school.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I remember just that moment when everyone.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Left after I moved into my apartment, cuz I, my mom and dad were

Laura Shook-Guzman:

supportive in helping me do that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But it's like that first night alone on the carpet of my pretty empty apartment.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It had some things, but I remember it feeling like, oh, this is my space.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And it's up to me to figure this.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I don't know the city at all.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I don't know where the grocery store is yet.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like, I don't know where, where I'm going.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I'm just gonna get in my car tomorrow and drive and find out like what

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I find and just drive towards the ocean and see what's there.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And there was something so joyous, liberating, freeing about stepping

Laura Shook-Guzman:

into my aloneness, my separateness.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And yet there was also fear.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And uncertainty, but in that period of time, I just remember

Laura Shook-Guzman:

there being a reclaiming.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's not just a dis it's a discovery, but it was almost like a reclaiming

Laura Shook-Guzman:

of all the things about myself that I intuitively knew were me.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I hadn't let all of those things.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

out, so to speak in my life because your childhood's full of like meeting

Laura Shook-Guzman:

expectations and, you know, parents being proud and I'm wanting to make them proud.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I had a tendency I've talked about this and other conversations

Laura Shook-Guzman:

with you that some of the listeners may know, but just being that golden

Laura Shook-Guzman:

child or trying to keep everything, you know, keeping everybody else.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Okay.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so there was just this liberation, when I reclaimed an

Laura Shook-Guzman:

essence of myself, That wasn't about anybody else's expectations.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And it was really more about me, you know?

Yeah.

And I think that is gonna be this kind of common thread in this process.

Right?

there's almost a letting go of society, parent partner expectation, right.

Letting go of the, the need to meet other people.

To recognize and allow ourselves, right?

So it's like sometimes the reclaiming seems like this.

And it is like a power position, right?

It is like an owning.

It is like a, but I think it starts with allowing, right.

It starts with the opening and being curious and aware of who we already are.

Right.

Our essence.

Yes.

Yes.

And I think so that was like one of my first felt sense.

And I think about it too, that I have a felt.

Sense of that.

I have a memory of that carpet and, and sitting and laying out.

I probably like laid on my back and spread my arms and legs

white and just took it all in.

And I have this beautiful Magnolia tree right outside my window, and I

can remember what I saw and what I felt and when I smelled and what you

know, it's just, and that's where, you know, coming back to the fact

that the body can hold a lot of.

Of memories and sensations that are hard,

Mm-hmm

it can also just hold so many moments of joy and

moments of that freedom or that moment where you just reclaimed something

in yourself and even con maybe not consciously at the time where you even

going, oh, I'm reclaiming this, right.

It's just, you know, in hindsight now I realize, oh, that was one

of this, these pivotal moments in which I started to shed the.

To be what other people needed me to be and to step more

confidently and being myself, you know, but that's been a journey.

And like you said, it's gonna be a thread because you know, here I am fast

forward these 25 years later you know, and then it's like, oh my goodness.

How many times did I have to reckon with that over and over again

Does it ever end?

Does the reckoning ever end Laura?

Cuz I, I I'm convinced that this is a lifelong journey, right?

It's not a, it's not a, like we get to some end point where it's like, we've

reclaimed it all and we're done like.

Yes.

Yes, you're right.

It's like layers and layers and layers, but that also keeps it really interesting.

Right.

You know, and I think that contrast what I was kind of reflecting just now,

too, is that my, like I said, my mind went to something cuz there was a time

when my daughter was just three is when there was a sudden change in my family

structure in which her father and I separated and I was a single mom and it

was a very sudden shift in which I was.

All of a sudden, my vision and plan for the future was uprooted.

And I had to quickly shift.

And I think at that moment through that uncertainty and that needing

to I completely uprooted living in Canada and came back to Austin.

And so I think about that time of grief and sadness and overwhelm

as being an opportunity in which every day I kind of got up thinking.

But what do I want?

Right.

It's like, this is happening to me.

These things are happening to me.

And I feel like I don't have control over them, but what do I do have control over?

And what do I want if I'm gonna create a life for myself that is in alignment with

what I'm here to do, then let's do it.

And there's something about that change in pattern that sometimes

kicks you into a direct, like you're like kicking and screaming.

You're like, I don't wanna change.

I had this plan.

I was with this person.

I have this career plan.

I'm gonna live in this city and I'm gonna do this and this and this.

And then something unexpected happens.

And in that free fall sometimes is where there's a sudden aha.

And a, a moment of awareness.

And I think in that moment, I really began to reclaim not just like a separate

sense of, Ooh, I have this identity that I don't have to please others.

It was like, Ooh, I am someone that needs to do what she needs and wants to do.

And I needed to reclaim like a sense of selfhood.

That I had sort of started to lose as I was trying to modify and connect

like, okay, here's my family unit.

And I need to make my partner happy and I need to take care of my kid.

And then being a single mom, as much as it was still about helping my

child and being there for her, it was like a stepping into myself at a much

deeper level than I had done before.

Yeah.

Such powerful examples.

And I love that cuz, cuz I also, when I was exploring this question went to some

of the darker moments, but I love that you also shared with us this piece about that

joyous feeling because I have those too.

Right.

And we don't always go to those.

We don't always reference them.

But I love that you shared that.

That was such a important piece as.

Really beautiful.

I love it.

mm-hmm

All right.

Well, to steer us in a little bit different direction.

I wanna quickly kind of just do the background cause I know people

are interested in, well, what do you, what do you do, right.

And how did you get here?

How, how did your career develop?

Because I, I think so many of us on this podcast, like all the co-hosts,

a lot of our work is our life's work.

Right?

So, you know, it's very connected that background to what we're

here to do and who we are.

And so.

Briefly, give us a little bit of your background in terms of your career story.

And then we'll get into some deeper questions.

I like that.

I love that we're already actually showing, like we do a little

bit of here's some, some simple information about where do you live?

How many kids do you have?

And then we deep dive and then we're like, Anne, wait, let's give some context.

And so I have kind of given a little hints here and there to what

I do, what I'm about, but I, I.

From the beginning I, I knew that I wanted to work in psychology.

And so I went on to grad school in California and got my master's

in clinical psychology with an emphasis on marriage and family.

So systems therapy and went into, you know, the nonprofit world and agency

work and really felt very drawn to work with those that were struggling

with the impacts of trauma, a.

Unfortunate, you know, systemic and familial violence.

And so I spent the first, 10 to 12 years in that space as a trauma therapist.

And then I began to actually, I experienced my own levels of secondary

trauma, compassion, fatigue, burnout, which is something that we were warned

about In school in grad school and talked about it in, in the agencies,

but there wasn't really a lot of support on, you know, how you were

supposed to prevent that from happening.

So it's really kind of an interesting when I look back at my career, because

a lot of times therapists will be like, you know, a career Therapist, like

you're just doing agency work your whole career, or you do private practice.

And mine was kind of interesting because I really began to think entrepreneurial,

you know, I was like, wait a minute.

I could practice in this container, which is the agency work.

I could practice in a group practice, which looks like this.

I was kind of looking at all the different options and I didn't really

see an option that I personally thought was going to support me the most.

It's like, I don't think that I can do the work, like the work that I

wanna do at this deep level of trauma healing without a supportive system.

And I don't really know if any of the existing therapy models.

Are giving me that.

So that was really kind of an interesting inquiry.

And I think a lot of founders entrepreneurs, we have this

moment of like, but wait, I see a gap and I don't really know I

don't like that there's a gap.

And I'm gonna just try to see if I can fill it.

And I remember saying you know, to people around me at that time

too, of like, I don't really wanna just keep complaining about there

being a lack of systemic support.

I wanna figure out if I could create something like that.

Right.

And I Have a family that like, I come from some like several

generations of entrepreneurs.

So I think there was a little bit of that modeling was in my blood.

Mostly they were like retail, Andra entrepreneurs,

farmers, ranchers retailing.

But I was really curious about like, okay, what would this

container be to start a business?

And of course that's how our story's integrated, where we come into alignment.

People know our past is like we met through a single parent.

Event a mixer and social, and then we began to think together and

you had that same question of why do we have to do our work silo?

Why do we have to feel so exhausted and overwhelmed and stressed?

And what would it be like if we created not only a workplace for therapists, but

a workplace for all types of entrepreneurs and you know, anybody that's juggling,

we call them parent entrepreneurs.

at the time, like anybody that's juggling all the parenthood

and the, the entrepreneurship.

And so, you know, that really led me.

into my entrepreneurial phase of my career and creating you

know, the co-working space.

So Avita was so instrumental to prototype a concept in which we could work more.

Enter in a integrated way, we could remove the silos and again, see, this

comes threading back to reclaiming the importance of connection that

we can be connected to ourselves and get connected with community.

And that we could do more together if we weren't doing all of this by ourselves.

So that really now looking back and like that was not a mistake

that I had, you know, this part.

Experience, because by creating that co-working space, what I didn't know

was gonna happen is I was going to open myself up to hear hundreds.

And then probably by now thousands of stories like mine of entrepreneurs,

founders, both men and women feeling really de fragmented,

really overwhelmed overwork.

Confused about why it was so hard to get their business off the ground and do

all the things that they needed to do.

And so then my career started taking me on this path of the psychology of

entrepreneurs and the psychological toll of this type of career choice.

And how it differs from the high stress of being in a CEO company, where at

least you have a steady paycheck.

I mean, there were things that were like, yes, the high leader, you know, leadership

was being researched and understood.

And there was a lot out there about executive coaching and executive support,

but I really began to get curious and all my time and an energy started going into

working with entrepreneurs and looking at well, how are they healing trauma?

While they're also running a business.

And how are these psychological in, I would would say obstacles sometimes

like this mental health Wall.

Sometimes they would hit, like, they would just hit place where

like, I don't know what to do.

I can't get past this, but I know I have to cuz I'm creating a business

or I need to get to my next level.

But then there's all of these emotional pieces and physical, like chronic

illness and certain things in their body that was like literally IMing.

So that, you know, has BEC led me to where I am now, when I think about it.

So for the past decade now, I guess it's been 14, almost 15 years that

I've been really working in the field now of entrepreneurial, mental

health, and really working with my clients to reclaim their connection

to themselves, reclaim their somatic intelligence, their ability to be reson.

Within themselves to know their body and their nervous system so

well that they can be proactive in being with the parts of them that

are activated, that are overwhelmed, that are not getting their needs met.

Right.

And so that leads me to, yes, this moment in my career, where now I feel like I

have so many years of experience that are also then shaping the theoretical

models that I've learned along the.

Yes.

I love that.

And so right now, you know, just to kind of wrap up the tail end

of that background right now, what would you say you're doing?

Like, are you working specifically with individuals?

Are you doing group stuff?

Like, what are you doing now?

Just so people can understand, you know, what you're offering and

Yeah.

What are the current offers?

What what's where's that led me.

So now I am in my private practice.

Conscious ambition, which is all about helping entrepreneurs individually.

I work with entrepreneurs one on one in therapy or in

coaching, the coaching model.

I work with entrepreneurs with their partners.

I work with co-founders.

I work with teams and I work with individual entrepreneurs also in.

I love to run like one or two groups every quarter so that I can have

these opportunity to, to bring more support to entrepreneurs.

So working with me is really about people coming.

Usually entrepreneurs come to me and say, I need something.

That's like, A little bit more than coaching.

That's kind of like therapy, but then I don't really know what I need.

I get a lot of that.

Like, I don't know what I need, but it feels like this is intense mental health.

And so I just do an assessment, you know, I just encourage clients to reach

out and I just do a little consultation with them to be like, are you suited

well, is it individual work or do we need a systems work with your partner

at work or your family at home?

And do we need.

to work with a group of entrepreneurs or is your whole team.

So that's what I love about being a family therapist is that all

of that, those, those hours and thousands of hours that we spent

working with the systems of different family units or work units, right?

Like those systems.

Influence the individual and the individual influences the systems.

So working with me is like, I'm gonna help you.

Not only understand what's happening inside of yourself, but I want you

to look at what's going on in your environment so that you can really

see where do I need this support.

Maybe it is just a one on one, or maybe I need to be in a group.

And.

Part of my healing is to be vulnerable in front of other people.

Or part of my discovery is to be able to learn how to be more intimate and

connected with my partner while I'm also pursuing my dreams and my, my aspirations.

I love that.

So it's connection to self connection to others, which is

something I talk about as well.

And I think it's really important.

And like, I just wanna pull this other thread because I think

a lot of people would think.

How is your trauma background relevant to, you know, sort of like

I'm a founder, I'm an entrepreneur.

Like I need to kind of work through some stuff and maybe, maybe some

relationships, but, you know, I don't have any big trauma, like, but I want

you to talk a little bit about, you know, the connection, because I mean, I

know how important sort of this trauma work and understanding trauma is.

And I'm, I'm curious for you to share that with the listeners.

thank you for that question, because I think for a while,

I was kind of keeping those things a bit separate in my mind of like, oh, I have

all my clients that I'm working with that have complex trauma, chronic trauma.

And then I have my founders, my entrepreneurs, and many of them

are not coming in for trauma.

So, you know, 70% of the population in the United.

Has experienced some type of trauma in their lifetime, according to recent data.

And that means, you know, it could be a one off like a car

accident is a traumatic accident.

Or it could be complex developmental chronic trauma, which somebody

has abuse neglect in their, you know, childhood or background.

So there's a variety of different single incidents or.

Repeating experiences of trauma and trauma is when a, an experience feels

life threatening to that individual.

So the body is responding.

Okay.

This is a life or death survival response.

And then, so you can have that in one moment.

You can have that in several different moments.

So understanding that 70% of us experience trauma, almost, probably everyone that's

you say it's a little bit more than

I thought so I know I was

I mean, not

isn't it,

about their trauma, but yeah, I would go, I would go with 99%.

Yes.

But now 20%, what's interesting of that.

This is a little bit more interesting is 20% actually do get diagnosed with PTSD.

So post traumatic stress disorder is when you experience a trauma,

but you have lingering effects of that response, that trauma response.

Stuck in the body.

It has long lasting impacts.

So a lot of us can go through trauma and that's, what's I think confusing

for some people, they're like, well, I had that really traumatic thing,

but then I, you know, I don't, I don't think it's affecting me anymore.

And you might be right.

Like, you might have gotten what you needed in that moment and been able to let

that energy of the trauma move through.

And been able to heal that trauma or at least be able to now think about it

without it being extremely activating or affecting your way of life or work.

But for some people that 20% it's very, so it was such an, an intense

experience and their body and mind, weren't able to process that.

So that it actually does create lingering effects in the central nervous system.

So your autonomic nervous system is, you know, often still detecting that there's

violence or every time you go across a bridge where you once had a car accident.

You become immobilized or have panic attacks or insomnia, depression,

anxiety, all of these types of lingering emotional dysregulation

is a response to unprocessed trauma.

And now we understand, thanks to over 20 now, maybe 40 years of trauma research.

We understand that it's much more about a inability of the body to move trauma

through, to process the trauma energy.

My, one of my teachers is Peter Levine.

So he says that trauma is a disorder of presence.

So those who have PTSD tend to still be in the trauma in the past.

And when they're in the past, then it's really difficult

for them to be in the present.

So when my entrepreneurs are coming in, they're not coming in saying

that they wanna work with PTSD.

They're coming in saying that they are dysregulated, overwhelmed, not sleeping

feeling irritable, having crying, spells, feeling, depressed, anxious.

And so that's kind of the, the, the list of symptom.

Right.

And it's like, what do I do?

This is impacting my business.

I can't think straight I'm just really dunno where to go with this.

And more and more as I begin to talk with them, of course, no,

this isn't related to trauma.

I'm just really stressed out right now.

But as we would get into the stories of that conflict at

work, or that inability to.

For the funding or that, you know inability to stand up in front of

a crowd or whatever it was, right.

We'd start to, to work with those stories over and over again, there would start

to be the telling of a moment in the past in which there may have been shame,

humiliation, neglect, abuse, some type of harm in that person's life, whether it was

early childhood or even a more recent, I.

and in their work, their body was taking in information, this, whatever,

this, this conflict was felt very similar in their body to that conflict.

In the past now their head is like, no, that doesn't make any sense, but

I'd say, but what is your body feeling?

because your, your body's actually sensing a very similar situation

and our brains have evolved to help us survive, not to keep us

happy and working well with others.

It's like that that is not its primary goal.

It's primary goal is to make sure that you're alive.

So as I've been able to explore more and more of this connection,

this trauma connection with, with my entrepreneurs, my founders, it really

is starting to open up a whole new way of them to relate more compassionately

with themselves because it's not a question of what's wrong with me.

Why am I not a good leader?

Why can't I make this business run?

You know, why can't I get the money?

It becomes what happened to me.

What trauma is still stored in my body.

That is keeping me from being able to reconnect to myself, to

trust myself and to be able to have my full present experience.

Yes.

Yes.

Thank you for that, Laura, because this is some, you

know, in the thousands of leaders and entrepreneurs and business owners, I've

worked with, I've never found anyone who doesn't have those experiences, right.

That something in their present is being affected by something in their past.

That's still lingering in their body.

And we don't talk enough about this.

We don't, you know, either trauma is like this big thing that we talk about.

And so many of us just don't relate to it.

You know, my parents didn't abuse me.

I, you know, different.

So we have kind of this, this way.

We just ourself, instead of talking about, there's a lot of things that

many of us experienced as children.

Neglect, humiliation, shame, shame, shame, shame, so much shame.

And.

I think if we're not bringing up the connection, then we don't get the healing.

if we keep ignoring all these things and pretend they don't exist, we

don't get access to the healing.

And I think, you know, probably like me, a lot of people come to you for something

different, but then it's that benefit of your awareness and that benefit of

your experience that allows you to get to the core of what really is going on.

Because if you just treat the surface, if you just treat

the symptoms, nothing changes.

Exactly.

And you know, my interest is the individual and the system, the collective.

So I love to remind, validate, teach coach my clients to remember that

they're also existing within a climate.

that perpetuates the disengagement.

Like we have a very pervasive and problematic hustle culture, right?

You and I, I mean, that's a thread through so much of our

conversations and it's interesting.

And I've been thinking and writing a little bit about this recently

of just, you know, you have to understand that that, that pervasive

hustle culture also keeps people.

In line, so to speak because as long as you're just hustling, then you're

disengaged and you don't have to ask what is collectively wrong here?

Like what's happening on a systemic cultural level that is causing harm, you

know, because we're just all caught up in trying to keep going and keep going.

And then you person.

Yourself we keep personalizing what is a systemic problem.

And then when you are underrepresented founders, when you are a woman or

in the LGBTQ community, or consider in the bipo community, I mean, any

of those underrepresented unders supported founders then guess what?

It's even more difficult for you because you have systemic.

Pressures and inequalities that are affecting you.

And so I think that compassion, compassion, compassion is one

of my biggest teaching moments.

And it's interesting because you would think that, oh, okay.

As soon as somebody realizes that, then yeah.

Like let's just have compassion, but I work with performers like such high

performers, as you know, too, as you work with these leaders that it's like,

they can give compassion to others much more than they can give it to the.

A hundred percent and compassion for others

starts with compassion to self,

Exactly.

Exactly.

Yes.

We can only be as compassionate for others as we are compassionate

for self, we can only love others as deeply as we love ourselves.

We can only connect to others as deeply as we connect to self.

And this is why reclaiming this trust in self reclaiming connection.

that's right.

So that's what this season for me I'm hoping is gonna be

all about in all our conversations is just like reclaiming self means a trust

in self, a compassionate response to self loving kindness to self, because

that's where the change happens.

What I've noticed with my clients is that when that.

Starts to shift and they're able, and we've gotten past all of the

protector parts of them that are really like, Nope, I can't be soft.

I can't let that down.

I've got to be responsible for other people.

It's just like, there's so many of those narratives and so many

protector parts that are like going along with that hustle, hustle, keep

going, take care of everybody else.

And.

It's that softness, it's getting into that underbelly and into that heart

soft space to be like it's okay.

And I really am I don't even have the words for like how honored it.

I feel that people trust me in that space.

I think that that's, what's really, really, really special and beautiful

about what I get to do with my clients, the space that I share with them.

Is that I may be the only place that whole week or the whole month that

they get to come and be themselves and be vulnerable and say the things that

they're too afraid to say anywhere else.

And honestly, that has just made me a better human being because I just have

gotten to witness more and more, and it helps me be more compassionate to

myself that, wow, we are all struggling.

As human beings to just want to be loved.

We all have this basic need to be loved, to love, to be valued, to

be able to feel safe in the world.

Right.

That's all we all need.

all we all need.

It's so simple.

I know.

And, and he had so complex

Yes exactly.

Oh, I love it.

I love that.

We've been able to, you know, kind of dip in and out of that deep reflection and

that, that depth, and then also come up to kind of the surface and who you are.

I mean, I love it's this beautiful complex picture.

We, we have to kind of start wrapping up, unfortunately.

Cuz we could talk all day, but I kind of wanna just wrap it up

with some rapid fire questions.

So.

You know, maybe share with us like your favorite books.

Mm-hmm yes,

I know that's hard, when I think about my favorite books, I'll say

that I really went for years, not reading, like I was an avid reader.

As a child.

And then as I got into my career, I think that I started

reading a lot more nonfiction.

And so in recent months I've been remembering how much I love fiction,

specifically the genre of magical realism.

so that is like one, like house of spirits by Isabelle.

Adela, Adele, what is her last name?

House of spirits.

People are gonna know.

She is like one of those authors that weaves in like the historical,

the human element and the magical, and a lot of like that magical

realism for me is how I live my life.

I, I love like the magical elements and the unseen and the, you.

Those moments of serendipity or these things that you're

like, that's just magical.

Like that's I like to live from a place of awe.

So the books that I like are gonna be more of that magical realism.

Yeah.

Sarah Addison.

another, yeah, she's another one.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So like sometimes I can't remember the names of books remember the authors,

but it's like, I know that that is a genre that I really, really love.

And so that's kind of indulgent.

Like if I get to pick those, those are the books I wanna read on vacation or when

I'm traveling and, and now I'm trying to bring them more and more into my life.

So my non-fiction books, like right now, I'm reading the, the myth of normal by G.

and I just finished, you know, no bad parts by Dr.

Schwartz, cuz I'm a big if.

Internal family systems fan.

I use that with my clients.

So that's a little bit about my books.

I know it wasn't too rapid, but I'm

No, that's okay.

I love it.

Okay.

So favorite music or podcasts?

Mm.

Okay.

So music is really funny because I don't like think when I think about what's my

favorite music, I go back to my earlier years and I was, I'm a big fan of

like the nineties, R and B soul music.

So Lauren Hill, Mary J Blu, Macy gray that's like, that's what I

just wanna put on and roll down my windows and, and drive around.

And, and it takes me back to those years.

I guess those years of my twenties In earlier.

Let's see.

And then podcast, I just, I just love so many podcasts, but one of

the podcasts that I'm referring sharing a lot with friends and clients

is the meditative story podcast.

And it's so nice because you're listening to someone tell their story, but then

it's has music and meditative prompts.

And so the facilitator, the, the guide of it, he's really great.

The host he's really great.

Pulling out these moments and then asking you to reflect on something in your life

that connects with that person's story.

And so I really, really enjoy that format.

It's really interesting.

One.

Otherwise I'm always just listening to things that have to do with

entrepreneur mental health and trauma healing and business

of course.

All right.

Favorite TV shows

oh, indulgent ones.

My daughter and I like to watch like romcoms and oh,

oh, stranger things though.

I love sci-fi.

So I just finished the, the stranger thing series and I wanna re-watch it

all again, and like, just binge on that.

And then I also love to watch shows like Bridger 10 and things

like that with Sahara, where I'll

just be like, we

just, my daughter and I will lay on the couch and watch those

binge on those kinds of shows.

So,

I love it.

All right.

Favorite foods?

Favorite foods.

Okay.

I have to say, I could just say pizza in general, but my favorite is the margarita

pizza from home slice here in Austin.

Texas.

Like when my family knows I've had a hard day, like that's where they're

like, we bought you home slice

I love that.

That's

and I'm like, yes.

And with ranch dressing, cuz that's the thing that we do.

I think it's a Texas thing, ranch dressing.

And then Mint chocolate chip ice cream, which actually is the way that you

and I launched our co-working space is that we used to have meetings.

We'd put the kids to bed when they were there, cuz they were like six years old.

We'd put them to bed and go to the dining room table with mint,

chip ice cream and do work.

And then we'd go watch like some kind of reality TV

Yeah, we did.

I love it.

That's so good.

Okay.

And last rapid fire question, and then we'll wrap up.

What's your favorite indulgence?

Mm day spas

but if I can't afford a fancy day spa, I love day spas, but I will do my own.

I'm definitely a DIY kind of person like I do.

I'm all about.

Sensory decadents.

So even at home, I've got my essential oils.

I got a portable hot tub that I make my husband take places.

If we go camping.

Yeah.

I got this idea from another friend of mine.

She's like, just get the portable hot tub and like go camping

Don't what that looks like, but I'm gonna have to see it.

so like, get your portal, hot tub, get some essential oils.

And then like, I'll just, you know, do all sorts of little.

Spa things I'll even do like the cold towels and put 'em in like

eucalyptus, just different things, you know, sometimes to give myself

this feeling of being pampered.

And I think that's what I love about spa days is just everything that I

see is really beautiful and clean and it smells and it feels so good.

And it's just that really the animal body.

And that's, I guess, you know why I love working with a body

because I'd like to be in mind.

I want to be able to.

Feel connected and feel all of like the pleasure of being in this human body.

Like we've got, you know, one shot at it to be in this,

this body, in this lifetime.

And so I like to treat it, treat my temple well and, and enjoy

those little spa excursions.

That sounds beautiful.

Oh, thank you so much, Laura.

It was, it was such a pleasure getting to interview you and like, you know, kind

of seeing all these threads and ties, especially after knowing you for so long.

So I really appreciate you.

And is there any last thing you would like to say to the

listeners before we wrap up today?

Just that I'm really looking forward to this season and

reclaiming a relationship to the body.

And I'm curious, I wanna hear from listeners, you know, in between

episodes or just, you know, but after this interview questions that people

have about, well, what does that mean?

Or, you know, where I can expand and explore and just

get really curious together.

So I'm excited about the, the explor.

Okay.

Awesome.

Well, thank you all for listening to us and being here

and we'll see you next week.

Well thanks for joining us today, and I

hope you enjoyed the show.

If you wanna learn more about this topic, head over to conscious ambition.com.

You can sign up for my email list so you never miss an episode.

Have a great day, and we'll see you next time.