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Being A Better Man - Alf Herigstad 19th April 2017
194 – Your Relationships, Are Your Fault!
00:00:00 00:11:26

194 – Your Relationships, Are Your Fault!


Your Relationships, Are Your Fault!

You may have tuned in today expecting to hear a story.  It would make sense, after all I have been telling stories on Wednesday for over a year now.  I hope you aren’t too disappointed, but today I don’t have a story.

I have not run out of stories entirely…but there is a finite supply of them, seeing as how I just have this one life and everything.  So the stories may be a bit more sporadic going forward, because I don’t want to use them all up and not have any more to tell.

The other reason there is no story today is because I honestly just have other things on my mind.  You know what I mean…spring can do that to you.  For me, when the seasons change I have to go through this period of adjustment.  When spring comes and everything starts growing There are so many things I need to get done that I couldn’t do in the winter months. 

I have baby lambs now, there is a garden to plant, I still have wood to split and things to build…it can be a little overwhelming.  So that is part of what is occupying my brain.

On top of that, my book went live on amazon today, at least the eBook portion of it did.  Thats right, you can go to Amazon right now and type in my name or the book title; Forging A Man, and it will pop right up.  Just so you know, it’s going to be free for the next 5 days, from the 19th to the 23rd.  After that it will be $3.99.  I wanted to make it free for a few days so that all of you could download it and leave a review for me on Amazon.   There is a link below to make it easy.

Those Amazon reviews are really important because they determine how visible the book is to new readers, so I really appreciate you doing that in exchange for the free eBook.

The print book will be out in about a week, I’m waiting to get the proof to look over before I unleash it onto the world.  I’ll let you know when that one is available as well…and you really should have both of them anyway, and don’t forget they will make a great gift too.

That kind of leads in to what I want to talk about today.  You might be thinking I don’t have a topic…but I do. 

Getting this book finished is a monumental thing for me.  It’s the culmination of a lifetime of not only living…but paying attention while I was living.  My dad told me the other day that he remembers when I was in high school, and I wanted to write a book way back then.  So it’s a big thing for me, but I didn’t do it alone.  I have people.  People who have stepped up to help me bring this thing to fruition.  That’s really what I want to talk about is the people who have helped me, because I couldn’t do this alone.  I couldn’t do any of this alone.

You know how I’m always saying that our relationships are the most precious things we possess?  Every day that I live proves that, because the relationships I have are what makes my life valuable enough to do anything.

There are 19 people that agreed to be part of the launch team for the book.  Throughout this process they have been giving me their insights and helping me edit.  They encourage me and tell me when I’m on the right track and when I’m not, and now that it’s time to publish they are going to be helping me spread the word and write reviews and all that stuff that needs to be done.

I’m not paying these people.  They are doing it out of the goodness of their heart, because they believe in the books mission, and because of the relationship I have established with them.  It’s really amazing, and I’m super grateful for each one of them.

On the day to day front there is one person who is head and shoulders above the rest of the pack, and that’s my wife Lulie.  You know before I release any episode, she listens to it first.  She either gives me the green light, or she tells me that I might want to word something differently.  She doesn’t tell me what to talk about or how, but She is always encouraging me to “be kind to my listeners”.  What she means is that sometimes I might tend to be too graphic, or to explain things that really don’t need explanation, or I might say something that would needlessly offend someone because I’m not tuned into that.  Fortunately, she has not needed to correct me too often, but it’s nice to know she has my back for those few times that I do need her help.

She also did the final edit on the book, reading each word and correcting punctuation and typos.  Being honest with me when something wasn’t phrased white right.  Those are just some of the things she does, I could do two or three episodes if I talked about everything she does.  She is truly a relationship in my life that adds real value to each day, and makes me want to be a better man.  That’s a good thing…since I’m married to her and everything.

Then there is my dad, my brother and sister, my kids and their kids.  All my friends here at home and all over the world, and there is you—my listeners.  I am truly a blessed man in the relationship department. 

I could go on and on but that would become redundant.  The reason I’m talking about this is because like I said, it is living proof of what I always say, that our relationships are the most precious things we have.  It’s also proof of something else I say, and that is what we focus on expands.  I wouldn’t have all these relationships if I didn’t focus on them, if I didn’t hold them in high regard and treat them accordingly. 

Our relationships are a direct result of the care and effort we put into them.  So if you are also blessed with great relationships that make your life better—it’s your fault, you can take the credit for that.  Likewise, if you are unhappy with the quality of relationships you have—that is probably your fault as well. 

The reason this is all important to us as men, is because we were designed to be in relationship with other people.  The human animal does much better and survives much longer in a group of other humans.  So being good at having relationships is essentially a fundamental survival skill.

I think this may be more important now then it has ever been before in human history.  Because the age we live in is pretty easy, too easy.  All of our basic needs are easily obtained and that leaves a lot of time for people to forget about whats really important.  It’s really easy nowadays, to not be a good man.

However, focusing on our relationships fills that void.  Our relationships are the remedy, because if we are focused on all of our relationships, that means we are engaged in the heath and well being of those relationships.  It means we are doing good things and having good thoughts for the people we care about.  Can you see how the very act of doing that can make you a better man every day?  That’s why it’s important.

I have a measure of relationship with all of you listening, and I value that relationship very much as well.  Some of you have written in and we have corresponded, or we interact on Facebook, so we have an even deeper relationship.  I want you to all know that I’m available.  If you have questions, or ideas or concerns I invite you to share them with me.  Doing that will give me the opportunity to raise the level of relationship I have with you by getting to know you better.  Just send me an email at:  alf@beingbetter.men.

That’s what was on my mind today, and that’s why I didn’t have a story.  Instead I just needed to talk about the importance of relationships in the life of a man.  Think about all of your relationships over the next few days and see if there isn’t something you could do to make them even better, or at least to let the people know you appreciate them.  Whenever we take time for the people we care about, we are being a better man.


(added 04/18/18)  The content from 193 episodes has yielded a product!  Not every episode, but from the Wednesday stories I tell that have a lesson attached to them.  It has been compiled into a book called, Forging A Man ~ A Collection Of True Tales, And The Lessons Wrought From Them.  It will be available in both eBook and print form, the print copy will make a fine gift as well.  Here is a link to my author page, if you only see one book, that means the print copy isn’t available yet, but it will be soon.  Oh, and please remember to leave a review on Amazon, because that makes it more visible to potential readers.  Thank you so much!      (GET THE BOOK HERE)

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