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How Storytelling Can Make You a Better Networker with Tyler Foley
Episode 10113th July 2022 • This Shit Works • Julie Brown
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We’ve always been taught that in the event we have stage fright, in order to calm our nerves we should envision the audience naked. I’m not exactly sure where this gem of a tactic came from but let’s just say it’s never worked for me. 

My guest on the podcast today wants to turn that advice completely around. He wants us to be naked in front of the audience. Figuratively naked - as in willing to share our stories, willing to be raw and honest and open in order to better connect with people. 

Listen in as I talk with Sean Tyler Foley, author of The Power to Speak Naked. 


Drink of the Week: Naked and Famous! 


Julie Brown:

Website

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Sean Tyler Foley

https://seantylerfoley.com/


Sponsor

Nickerson

Transcripts

Speaker:

We've always been taught.

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That in the event we have stage fright.

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In order to calm our nerves, we should envision the audience naked.

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Not exactly sure where this gem of a tactic came from, but let's

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just say it's never worked for me.

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Welcome to episode one oh.

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One of this shit works a podcast dedicated to all things, networking, business

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development, and relationship building.

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I am your host, Julie Brown.

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And today.

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I'm talking with Tyler Foley, whose book the power to speak naked seems

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to turn that advice completely around.

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This episode is sponsored by Nickerson, a full service branding,

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marketing PR and communications agency with team members in Boston.

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Los Angeles, Miami and New York city.

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Visit them at Nickerson C O S.

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Dot com.

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Okay.

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Maybe it doesn't actually turn that advice completely around Tyler.

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Isn't suggesting you actually speak naked.

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Unless, of course you're a member of a nudist colony.

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And then by all means, rock out with your cock out.

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I think Tyler means that we should be.

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Figuratively naked as in willing to share our stories, willing

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to be raw and honest and open.

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I could be totally wrong and I guess.

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We'll find out in a moment but when tyler reached out to me he said That

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he believes being a good storyteller can make you a better networker and

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that's what this whole podcast is about So without further ado let's get tyler

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in here so we can learn all how to be better networkers through storytelling

Julie:

Tyler, welcome to the podcast.

Tyler:

Oh, Julie, thank you so much for having me.

Tyler:

I've had this circled on my calendar for a little bit.

Tyler:

I just love this shit works.

Julie:

That's so nice.

Julie:

So let's just jump into it.

Julie:

I've heard you say I w everybody knows, I do copious amounts of

Julie:

research on all of the guests.

Julie:

And I've heard you say in a previous podcast or speech that

Julie:

you don't believe that people are afraid of public speaking or even

Julie:

conversations, networking conversations.

Julie:

We're afraid of being judged.

Tyler:

Yeah.

Tyler:

Yeah.

Tyler:

I find that most people, when they say that they have a fear of public speaking,

Tyler:

what they really mean is they have a fear of public judgment that when the.

Tyler:

Um, when eyes are on them, that they are going to be perceived negatively.

Tyler:

And it's that story in our head that we're telling ourselves that tends to lead

Tyler:

us down this path, this mistaken belief that we're afraid of public speaking.

Julie:

I had a gentleman on the podcast a little while ago, Fred Joyal he is

Julie:

the guy who invented 1-800-DENTISTS and he has a book called how to

Julie:

be super bold, like Superbowl than 90 shy to Superbowl in 90 days.

Julie:

And he said something that was really, really interesting.

Julie:

And he said, embarrassment is a decision you decide to be embarrassed.

Julie:

And so it sounds like you're similar saying something very similar.

Julie:

Like we're deciding that we're afraid.

Julie:

Of what people are gonna think of us.

Julie:

And it's really easy to say, oh, okay, I'm deciding that.

Julie:

But how do, how do we get over like that?

Julie:

Do you have tips to get over that?

Julie:

Because I, even as a person who can walk into a room and talk to anybody, I

Julie:

would not say that I don't walk into a room completely not afraid of judgment.

Tyler:

Well, and that's usually it it's understanding that it is a

Tyler:

choice that a lot of human behaviors, although deep rooted and a lot

Tyler:

of times, automatic, based on a subconscious level, we still have

Tyler:

conscious choice over each one of them.

Tyler:

Like I used to do stunt work in film and television, and

Tyler:

I'm by no means a stunt man.

Tyler:

I'm an actor who did stunt work, but I had the privilege of doing a couple of

Tyler:

high falls and, in the moment of decision, right, the director calls action.

Tyler:

You are standing in my case, six stories.

Tyler:

Everything in your body is saying, don't do this thing.

Tyler:

But I had an, I have a subconscious response to the

Tyler:

height saying that is dangerous.

Tyler:

Don't jump.

Tyler:

But I also have a conscious ability to override that subconscious

Tyler:

fear and say, I've done all the prep work I have to land.

Tyler:

We have rehearsed this time and time again.

Tyler:

It is.

Tyler:

And it's my job to consciously push past the subconscious priming, that

Tyler:

is saying danger, danger, danger, when there is actually no danger.

Tyler:

And that's an extreme example because that's jumping out of windows.

Tyler:

There are things that could go wrong with walking into a room full of strangers.

Tyler:

the danger is significantly.

Tyler:

You know, I won't ever say it's never because you never know, but it's not

Tyler:

the fears that we are perceiving.

Tyler:

And so a lot of that comes down to the story that we're telling

Tyler:

ourselves, you know, and I, I used to go to a lot of networking events

Tyler:

and I would say the networking prayer just before leaving my vehicle

Julie:

What's the networking prayer.

Tyler:

it goes something like this, it goes, oh, please, please

Tyler:

let there just be one decent human being to talk to in this thing.

Tyler:

I don't want to waste my time and I can't stand going to these things.

Tyler:

And I hope that there's just one person who I can connect with.

Tyler:

Who's at least a normal human being.

Tyler:

And the funny thing is, is they're all normal human beings.

Tyler:

The problem is we, the majority of us network wrong, right.

Tyler:

We're, you know, I've got this thing and everybody can use it here.

Tyler:

Here's my card.

Tyler:

Here's my card.

Tyler:

And we're trying to carpet bomb a room full of cards.

Tyler:

And, uh, the reality is that that almost never works, right.

Tyler:

Because we don't like to, we don't like to be sold to.

Tyler:

So if I, if I don't like somebody handing me a business card and just being like,

Tyler:

my thing is perfect for you and everybody else on the planet, why should I then

Tyler:

turn around and go, well, everything is perfect for you and everybody else.

Tyler:

And it took me a long time to really correlate the two of those.

Tyler:

And I had two incredible mentors who guide me along this journey, the late

Tyler:

great Bernie Dorman from CEO space.

Tyler:

Said something that impacted me for the rest of my life.

Tyler:

You said it's less about me and more about the, and when he said that,

Tyler:

I realized that, you know, I need to make my audience come first.

Tyler:

And I know that as a public speaker, it's a thing that I.

Tyler:

Falling on regularly.

Tyler:

Uh, but I didn't think of how it translated into networking and, um,

Tyler:

another, uh, great speaker that I know Colin Sprake had said to me

Tyler:

once, you know, it's the power of your story that's going to sell.

Tyler:

Right?

Tyler:

It's the stats tell stories, sell, and he exemplified it perfectly.

Tyler:

It's like when you go into a networking events, don't

Tyler:

tell them what you do, right?

Tyler:

Like that's, that's what everybody does, right.

Tyler:

My name is Tyler Foley and I'm a public speaker coach.

Tyler:

In reality, you know, nobody cares what you do, any we're, we're kind of

Tyler:

more concerned about what we can do.

Tyler:

And so, he framed it.

Tyler:

He's like tell your story, so for me again, I hate networking, but I also

Tyler:

recognize that networking is a very.

Tyler:

Integral part of growing my business and growing my connections and contacts.

Tyler:

And, Bernie pointed out, you know, it you're, everybody says it, right?

Tyler:

Your network is your net worth.

Tyler:

But he was like, most people don't actually really

Tyler:

understand what that means.

Tyler:

Networking means that you are connecting people within your sphere.

Tyler:

And he said the best way to do that is to find out what they do.

Tyler:

And most people won't tell you what they do if they think that

Tyler:

you're trying to pitch them.

Tyler:

So when I go to a networking.

Tyler:

I've got a 30 to 42nd pitch.

Tyler:

That goes something like.

Julie:

Okay.

Tyler:

Who here hates coming to these things who finds them incredibly awkward.

Tyler:

And you don't know what to say, and you don't know what you're going

Tyler:

to talk about, and you have no idea how to formulate your pitch.

Tyler:

I know I struggled with that.

Tyler:

I'm struggling with it Right.

Tyler:

now.

Tyler:

And so if anybody wants to learn a really fast way to be incredibly effective at

Tyler:

networking, by being able to tell your.

Tyler:

Quickly and effectively come over and talk to me in the back corner.

Tyler:

And we can have a conversation about how I overcame my fear of public judgment, how

Tyler:

I overcame my fear of speaking in public.

Tyler:

And I want to show you how to do that really quick.

Tyler:

Anybody who identifies with that is going to come and chat with me.

Tyler:

Anybody who doesn't, there's not going to chat with.

Tyler:

And that's fine.

Tyler:

So now I know who my ideal target is and who isn't, those people who have a

Tyler:

conversation with me, I can get their contact information and say, great.

Tyler:

Let's put a thing, in our calendar where we can explore this a little bit further.

Tyler:

Here's my contact information.

Tyler:

Give me your contact information.

Tyler:

I will follow up with you because I want your contact information more

Tyler:

than I want to give you my contact information, and then I can go out and ask

Tyler:

everybody else at that networking event.

Tyler:

What do you do?

Tyler:

And how can I be.

Tyler:

And it's that line that Bernie taught me, what do you do?

Tyler:

And how can I be of service?

Tyler:

Because then they can tell you what they need.

Tyler:

And nine times out of 10, it's not that service or product that you provide.

Tyler:

Currently.

Tyler:

They may need it down the road, but it's building that relationship.

Tyler:

And so by finding out what they need, if you truly have a good network, you know,

Tyler:

somebody who can solve their problem,

Julie:

Sure.

Tyler:

and then you introduce them, you say, great.

Tyler:

I know this person.

Tyler:

Who can do this thing, or if you don't know the person, you'd be like,

Tyler:

well, let me make a note of that.

Tyler:

Then as you're going around, you know, you've maybe find that person who sells

Tyler:

that widget and you're like, oh, I was just talking to Julie and she needs that.

Tyler:

Let me introduce you.

Tyler:

And then you go over and do it.

Tyler:

Now.

Tyler:

You didn't solve the problem directly.

Tyler:

But you were a facilitator of the introduction that did, and that makes you

Tyler:

of service and people will remember that.

Tyler:

And a lot of that comes down to just storytelling and learning how to use

Tyler:

your story, to draw people towards you.

Julie:

So talk about that.

Julie:

I have a million store.

Julie:

I live a very interesting, funny life, but what is the me sitting here going?

Julie:

I don't want a story.

Julie:

I certainly don't have a story that, that appropriate for a

Julie:

networking and conversation.

Julie:

Sidebar.

Julie:

They're all appropriate, unless they're about like politics

Julie:

and religion and all that.

Tyler:

And even then sometimes they have their place.

Tyler:

You just have to know how to tell them.

Julie:

yeah.

Julie:

So what are you w how can someone tease a story out about themselves?

Tyler:

well, so first of all, you're right, everybody has a story.

Tyler:

and if it's important to you, it's important to your ideal audience.

Tyler:

And I think that's the key is.

Tyler:

Are trying to impress everyone and in doing so impressed, no one, right?

Tyler:

But if you, if you know who your target audience is, or if you want to

Tyler:

discover your target audience, usually the thing you're afraid to say is what

Tyler:

your ideal audience needs to hear.

Tyler:

And a lot of that comes with the details in our story.

Tyler:

So anybody who says that they don't have a story, we can do this

Tyler:

quick exercise right now, Julie.

Tyler:

Um, it takes two minutes.

Tyler:

Um, and then there's homework to do afterwards.

Tyler:

So my apologies to your.

Tyler:

Hey, this shit works.

Tyler:

Trust me.

Tyler:

Um, what I want you to do is I want to take you to take your

Tyler:

age and round the nearest five.

Tyler:

Okay.

Tyler:

So for me right now, I'm 42.

Tyler:

So I'm going to round down to 40 in a month.

Tyler:

I'm going to be 43.

Tyler:

So I would round up to 45, but currently I get to do around down.

Julie:

Okay.

Tyler:

Yeah.

Tyler:

So we're going to take our age and round to the nearest five,

Julie:

Okay.

Tyler:

whatever that number is.

Tyler:

Divided by five.

Tyler:

And that will give you a five even time periods for your.

Julie:

Okay.

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

So for me, I do this around, down to 40 divided by five.

Tyler:

And that gives me five, even time periods of eight.

Tyler:

Now, if you have sticklers in the audience, because there always are, and

Tyler:

they'll be like, but that's not even time periods Tyler, because my, I am 42.

Tyler:

And what are we doing with those two?

Tyler:

If you w if you want to be a stickler, if you had to round down tack whatever

Tyler:

that was, cause it was either one or two tack those years onto your first time.

Tyler:

So for me, I would expand eight to 10 and then I would count

Tyler:

up in eight year increments.

Tyler:

But trust me, you don't need to do it.

Tyler:

If you had to round down, take off what you round or if you had to

Tyler:

round up, take off what you rounded up by off of your last time period.

Tyler:

And the reason for this is we can always remember what happened in

Tyler:

the last couple of years, better than we can remember in childhood.

Tyler:

And most people don't remember their first one or two years.

Julie:

Right.

Tyler:

So it just, that's how you're going to balance it out, but you don't have to

Tyler:

do it because we've just, it's rough math.

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

So now that we've gotten our time periods, what I want you to do is for each time

Tyler:

period, ask yourself this question.

Tyler:

When I think about this time in my life for me, my first

Tyler:

time period, zero to eight,

Julie:

Okay.

Tyler:

is the most significant or impactful?

Tyler:

What's the first one that Springs to mind, not when I think about it

Tyler:

and really go and do a deep dive.

Tyler:

When I think of me, Tyler, zero to eight, first memory popped up to my

Tyler:

mind and write it down and then do that for each one of those times.

Tyler:

And I promise you in that you have at least five stories and

Tyler:

here's how you flush them out.

Tyler:

And this is where the homework comes in.

Tyler:

Now that you've written down these five memories that sprung to mind the first

Tyler:

one, boom, that popped into your mind.

Tyler:

Why, why is that significant to you?

Tyler:

What is the importance of it?

Tyler:

When I do this exercise, I have two memories instantly that spring to my mind

Tyler:

in that first time period, the first one is six years old at the Christmas pageant.

Tyler:

And it was the first time I was ever on stage elementary school, my first grade,

Tyler:

and I got to play Joseph in the nativity.

Tyler:

I had the little lines and the wise men would come and give me the.

Tyler:

Appropriately wrapped in period appropriate, wrapping paper.

Tyler:

Cause I'm sure.

Tyler:

that's what happened 2000 years ago.

Tyler:

And so they would give me, these gifts and I would put them down by the manger

Tyler:

and, say thank you and, and continue on.

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

And at the end of that,

Julie:

Yeah.

Tyler:

the crowd.

Tyler:

Gave me applause back that made them laugh because instead of stacking the

Tyler:

presence beside the manger, like I should have, I was stacking them on

Tyler:

top of the manger, which is exactly where baby Jesus, his head was.

Tyler:

And so everybody was like, ah, then I kept doing it and I just

Tyler:

thought it was a funny thing to do.

Tyler:

So I kept stacking.

Tyler:

I didn't really realize, you know, shouldn't put

Tyler:

presence on a baby dolls head.

Tyler:

So.

Tyler:

For me, that sound of laughter.

Tyler:

And then the, the exhilaration that came with hearing a standing ovation,

Tyler:

and just that rush has been a high that I've chased the rest of my life.

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

It was incredibly impactful for me.

Tyler:

And one of the reasons why I'm probably so comfortable on stage, because at

Tyler:

the time, like anybody who has a six year old knows they have no fear.

Tyler:

They, they, right.

Julie:

learned it yet.

Tyler:

exactly it's a learned behavior.

Tyler:

And so people tell us that we should be afraid of.

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

Oh, you don't do that.

Tyler:

It's dangerous.

Tyler:

You can't do this.

Tyler:

And we learn from people telling us what we need to be afraid of.

Tyler:

Nobody told me I needed to be afraid of stage.

Tyler:

So I got up, I enjoyed it.

Tyler:

It was incredibly freeing and wonderful.

Tyler:

And that, that has been my conditioning by next significant

Tyler:

memory from the same time period comes almost two months later to the.

Tyler:

Both of these memories for me are auditory.

Tyler:

Like I have a visual that goes with it, but the, but it's

Tyler:

the sound that triggers it.

Tyler:

So it's the first thing is the sound of applause.

Tyler:

The next is the sound my mother made when a police officer and my family physician

Tyler:

came to our back door to tell her that my father would never come home, that he

Tyler:

had perished in a motor vehicle accident.

Tyler:

And she made this.

Tyler:

Just haunting spine tingling, sound that reverberated through the house of

Tyler:

reverberated through the neighborhood.

Tyler:

Like it sounded like an animal wailing.

Tyler:

It was, it was just grotesque.

Tyler:

And between the two sounds one, I have chased my entire life,

Tyler:

trying to hear one of them.

Tyler:

I have avoided my entire life hoping to never hear again.

Tyler:

And, and it's in that.

Tyler:

Why, why are these memories significant to us that we find our story?

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

So I can tell there are a thousand lessons and that's the next step.

Tyler:

Once you've figured out why it's significant to you, what are the lessons?

Tyler:

What did you learn from that event?

Tyler:

And that's how you start to tell your story, because there were other

Tyler:

people who have experienced something similar and will resonate with it.

Tyler:

And nine times out of 10, they're afraid to say it the same way that you are.

Tyler:

And the leader is the person who has the bravery to say it.

Tyler:

So if you want to be a leader in your field, you say the thing that everyone

Tyler:

else is afraid to say, and you say it first, and everybody will come to you.

Tyler:

And that's how you find your ideal audience.

Tyler:

That's how you find your target avatar.

Tyler:

That's the people who are going to resonate with your message, and then

Tyler:

you just teach them through story.

Julie:

So I would say people are going through this exercise.

Julie:

I think that people will do this and they can come up with stories.

Julie:

Like we all have significant things that happen to us in decades of our lives,

Julie:

but, but people are, I can imagine people saying, okay, but how does that integrate

Julie:

itself into a networking conversation.

Julie:

How do I even begin to say this is, this is something that is important to me.

Julie:

This is, this has shaped me.

Julie:

This is an, you know, this is a story to tell in a situation in

Julie:

which people are probably wondering, am I, am I exposing too much?

Julie:

Is this sharing too much?

Julie:

Like what, what is your answer to.

Tyler:

Well,

Tyler:

so it's how you frame the story.

Tyler:

So, uh, Les brown says it famously you never make a point without a story.

Tyler:

You never tell a story without a point.

Tyler:

And in networking, particularly if you only have that 30 to 62nd soundbite,

Tyler:

that's a single point that you need to make, but it needs to have a mini story.

Tyler:

It needs to have meaning.

Tyler:

So maybe some of your stories are not oppressed.

Tyler:

But all of us have been driven to do a thing for some reason, there is

Tyler:

an internal driving mechanism, right.

Tyler:

For me.

Tyler:

My whole career.

Tyler:

When I look back on it, you know, I started acting as an emotional

Tyler:

expression, emotional outlet, particularly having really enjoyed stage.

Tyler:

And then two months later losing my father not, and then at six years old,

Tyler:

not having the emotional capacity to process what that meant stage became

Tyler:

an emotional outlet for me that led me on this career performance.

Tyler:

When I got tired of performing, I then.

Tyler:

Retired at 10, because that's the nice thing.

Tyler:

When you start your career at six and retire 20 years later and still

Tyler:

have an entire other crew to get to.

Tyler:

So when I retired at 25, I went back, I got an engineering discipline,

Tyler:

started my own mapping firm aerial survey from that business collapsed.

Tyler:

You know, those are all stories that I can tell, but eat those

Tyler:

things along the journey led me.

Tyler:

To this point in my life where I am really good at helping people

Tyler:

be on stage and tell their story.

Tyler:

So when I want to tell people that that's what I do.

Tyler:

I need to acknowledge how I have felt in some of these situations, like

Tyler:

as a trained performer, you would think that I would feel comfortable.

Tyler:

Everybody assumes that I'm an extrovert.

Tyler:

I am not.

Tyler:

I'm an introvert.

Tyler:

And so for me to be able to go into a networking event and say, who here hates

Tyler:

these things, I sympathize with you.

Tyler:

I, you know, you may think that I'm, you know, as.

Tyler:

Author of the bestselling book, the power to speak naked that I have this

Tyler:

tendency to be this extrovert and that I would be comfortable in these situations.

Tyler:

The reality is I find these incredibly draining.

Tyler:

And if you resonate with that, if you come to these things terrified, I did my

Tyler:

networking, prayer, you know, hoping to find just one decent person to talk with.

Tyler:

And if you're that person who would rather have a one-on-one conversation over to the

Tyler:

side than have a big, long drawn out thing in public, come talk to me because I have

Tyler:

some tips and tricks that will help you.

Tyler:

Overcome that because I've had to do it myself.

Tyler:

So I'm not telling the.

Julie:

Yeah.

Tyler:

I'm giving a, an emotional connection to bits of the story.

Tyler:

And then when they come, that's when it opened up a little bit more about the

Tyler:

story, this is how I came to be here.

Tyler:

This is how I came to overcome it.

Tyler:

These are some of my, you start to drop it.

Tyler:

And then if you have to expand that into your business, you know, you want

Tyler:

to have a really powerful webpage.

Tyler:

Personally, why you opened that business?

Tyler:

One of the things I get a lot of clients that come through my safety

Tyler:

consulting practice, because I'm very upfront about the fact that I

Tyler:

lost my father at six to an entirely avoidable occupational accident.

Tyler:

he was fatigued from working 16 hour days, 10 days in a row, which is

Tyler:

supposed to be illegal, but because he was an entrepreneur because he was his

Tyler:

own boss, there was no oversight on.

Tyler:

And so on my consulting practice focuses on small businesses who need to have

Tyler:

safety programs and they read, and I tell them exactly why that is so critical to

Tyler:

me, because again, my life decisions have been set up based on that first sound.

Tyler:

Now that's a significant memory for me and I have a lot that goal, that title.

Julie:

So we're talking a lot about speaking in networking situations,

Julie:

but I believe one of the, one of the fastest, best ways to grow your company

Julie:

is to find venues events in which you have a microphone in which you

Julie:

have a voice in which you can speak.

Julie:

And so let's talk a little bit about how.

Julie:

How can people discover within their industry, within

Julie:

what they do for a career?

Julie:

How can they discover opportunities in which they can speak?

Julie:

Whether that's on a panel discussion, whether it's a webinar,

Julie:

whether it's, you know, whatever, how can people say discover?

Julie:

Cause cause I'm just going to say it is one of the, the best ways to grow

Julie:

your business is to be a thought leader and speak on your subject.

Tyler:

Oh, I can't think of a better way, and I'm not saying

Tyler:

that biased as a speaker trainer.

Tyler:

it really truly is you look at anybody who is successful.

Tyler:

They have some form of speaking and presentation skill set

Tyler:

that goes with that, Right.

Tyler:

They are teaching other people how to be and setting themselves up

Tyler:

as the, as you said, the thought leader or the industry experts.

Tyler:

and a lot of that has to do with, we just trust the people.

Tyler:

There's two things that we trust.

Tyler:

We trust the P the person with.

Tyler:

If they've got the book, they have to know something.

Tyler:

And if they're on stage with a microphone, they have to know something.

Tyler:

And it's true because we, we, we only ask the experts to be there.

Tyler:

The thing is, is almost everybody is in a.

Tyler:

And so differentiating yourself.

Tyler:

The reason one person is perceived as the expert and the other one is perceived as

Tyler:

an audience member is because the expert had the courage to stand up on stage.

Tyler:

So to your point, how do you find those stages and those opportunities?

Tyler:

What's real easy.

Tyler:

If you're a professional nine times out of 10, you have some

Tyler:

form of professional association.

Julie:

Yep.

Tyler:

Those professional associations are constantly putting on events

Tyler:

and seminars as to help grow that association to help grow its membership,

Tyler:

to give back to its membership.

Tyler:

So you want to have an opportunity to reach out to your membership and ask,

Tyler:

are you putting together a seminar?

Tyler:

Are you putting together workshops?

Tyler:

What are you looking for in speakers?

Tyler:

We'll let them guide what the content is.

Tyler:

And they're like, oh Yeah.

Tyler:

you really need somebody who can speak on.

Tyler:

Then ask yourself, can I speak on that and then apply to it?

Tyler:

And if you're like, no, no, no, that doesn't work for me.

Tyler:

I want to speak on this and this only, well, that's fine.

Tyler:

Google is your friend, the wonderful world of the internet, places, all

Tyler:

of these things at your fingertips.

Tyler:

So all you need to do is type in call for presentations, Call for right.

Tyler:

And then your topic.

Tyler:

And if you want to get really super you, like for me, I'll be

Tyler:

like, where do I want to say.

Tyler:

Like, where would it be a really fun place to go on vacation?

Tyler:

You know, my, when my daughter was, younger as she still is,

Tyler:

but when she was younger, she was obsessed with, uh, space and NASA.

Tyler:

Uh, her grandpa had pointed out one day., we were sitting in the

Tyler:

backyard and my family has an acreage.

Tyler:

And so we, we get, we can see the stars just like billions of stars

Tyler:

and, grabs pointed up to my daughter.

Tyler:

He says, uh, do you see that.

Tyler:

Star that's moving.

Tyler:

And she goes, yeah, he goes, that's the international space station.

Tyler:

There's astronauts on it right now.

Tyler:

And ever since then, she's been obsessed with astronauts.

Tyler:

The fact that there are people who are living in space.

Tyler:

So I was just curious, Houston has the Johnson space center.

Tyler:

I, you can go and visit, and they have, you can talk with astronauts and they

Tyler:

have all the fun space stuff there.

Tyler:

And I thought, wow.

Tyler:

I don't want to go on vacation and pay for it.

Tyler:

I want to move vacation to be paid for.

Tyler:

So is there any speaking opportunities down in Houston?

Tyler:

So I did, I did call for presentations, Houston, and I looked

Tyler:

through the list and, you know, there was leadership development.

Tyler:

There was, um, a couple of things and there was actually one at mission control.

Tyler:

They were looking for.

Tyler:

And an expert, a speaking expert who could show speakers.

Tyler:

how to better speak on film.

Tyler:

That was, he was really specific on that.

Tyler:

And I'm like, I'm a former actor.

Tyler:

I'm a speaker trainer.

Tyler:

I am ideally what these people are looking.

Tyler:

The conference was putting together, people's speakers.

Tyler:

So they, we had a whole bunch of speakers in, but speakers speak

Tyler:

and they do all of this stuff and it doesn't translate well on film.

Tyler:

So they needed basically an acting coach who understood both the

Tyler:

film side and the speaker guide.

Tyler:

So I was like, well, I'll do that.

Tyler:

And they read the, uh, organizer reached out to me.

Tyler:

He's like, great.

Tyler:

This is a five day event.

Tyler:

Can you speak at all of these venues?

Tyler:

I was like, yeah, I can do that.

Tyler:

And he's like, I'm speaking at mission control.

Tyler:

I'm like, great.

Tyler:

My only caveat is you need to allow me to bring my daughter.

Tyler:

It's like, oh Yeah.

Tyler:

No.

Tyler:

it's fine.

Tyler:

And so Kenzie came along with us and she got to go to mission control.

Tyler:

She got to see, , a real space suit and talk to a real astronaut.

Tyler:

And she was just pardon the pun.

Tyler:

She was through the moon with it.

Tyler:

And that was so much fun for me.

Tyler:

And, and that's typically what I do.

Tyler:

I'm like, where do I want to speak?

Tyler:

I got to speak in Honduras a few years ago, I'm doing the same thing.

Tyler:

I found this and I've created a wonderful relationship with that organizer.

Tyler:

She brings me back to all of, she travels all over the world, putting

Tyler:

on these events and, uh, and for that particular one it's certified coach.

Tyler:

And, uh, so she's teaching people to be life coaches.

Tyler:

And then she brings me on to show them how to better present too many so that

Tyler:

they can do group classes so that they can grow their coaching practice faster.

Tyler:

Again, how do we grow our businesses?

Tyler:

Public speaking?

Tyler:

It's not just a clever tip, Julie.

Julie:

Yeah.

Julie:

I mean, I think about where my company would be right now.

Julie:

If I hadn't decided that I was going to speak, if I actually, if I hadn't been

Julie:

asked to give that first speech, because that first speech and I, I could have

Julie:

easily said, no, I could have easily said no, I, I, I've never done this before.

Julie:

I did it.

Julie:

And then that led to another event and another event and another event.

Julie:

And like you said, it led to me writing a book, and then now I've

Julie:

got the speaking and I've got the book and I got this big fat ass

Julie:

microphone, and everybody listens to me.

Tyler:

Well, and it's, and it is it's right.

Tyler:

It's the instant expert because you have the, uh, you have the platform and

Tyler:

it's when you have that platform that people go, oh, well, they're there.

Tyler:

You have to have this platform for a reason.

Tyler:

And that's the other thing.

Tyler:

If you're not being able to find the thing, if you're not

Tyler:

finding somebody else's event for you to apply, to, to speak at.

Tyler:

And I've been doing that as a hybrid for years.

Tyler:

So like, I couldn't find my specific niche.

Tyler:

So I was like, well, how do I find, somebody to do this for?

Tyler:

And that, and the answer kept being like, nobody's doing this.

Tyler:

So I was like, well fine, then I'm going to do it myself.

Tyler:

And that's how you originally my, Um,

Tyler:

my course was called basic instructional technique.

Tyler:

Oh, nobody came to that.

Tyler:

No, no, but I wanted to hide.

Tyler:

I wanted to hide the fact that it was public speaking training.

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

I thought, oh God, you trick people in it's instructional technique.

Tyler:

And it was originally designed for,

Tyler:

people who had been thrust into a leadership position, whether that was

Tyler:

supervisors or managers who didn't feel comfortable, public speaking.

Tyler:

So this was going to be instructional technique, how you insert.

Tyler:

Uh, and then we've in the public speaking, I was like, well, you know

Tyler:

what, no, let's just be upfront.

Tyler:

Let's just, let's be honest with it.

Tyler:

And so we called it the power to speak naked and all of a sudden there

Tyler:

were people like, oh, I wanna, I, I'm curious to know more, at least,

Tyler:

and we got a huge uptick with it, but I ran my own training seminars.

Tyler:

And then from that ended up getting invited to these

Tyler:

organizers, figured it out.

Julie:

I think there's something, there's a couple of things there.

Julie:

The title of whatever you do has to be catchy.

Julie:

Like I wrote my entire book cover to cover before I knew what the title was.

Julie:

And I was like, if my book, I had a book writing coach and she said, if you try to

Julie:

name the book and then write it, you'll.

Julie:

The book that the name is, and you want to write it the other way

Julie:

around and you can't really know what it's about until you write it.

Julie:

So that's one thing, whatever you call your speech or your book or

Julie:

whatever, make sure it is something that is a sound bite that is catching.

Julie:

The second thing I would say is for people who want to get into

Julie:

professional speaking, and we do this, I have a Google search even now for

Julie:

myself, even though I get multiple inquiries a day about professional

Julie:

speaking gigs, I have a Google.

Julie:

Every week that gives me call for speakers, call for presentations.

Julie:

So I can see what is being talked about.

Julie:

They're out there and what conferences are out there.

Julie:

And I think the listeners should know that you have to put in.

Julie:

It's called a call for presentations, because you have to write about

Julie:

what you're going to speak about.

Julie:

So that's a good place for you to start weaving your story into what you're

Julie:

an expert in because your presentation is only going to be accepted if it

Julie:

stands out from the other presentation.

Julie:

So how do you suggest that people write.

Julie:

Better call for speakers or call for presentations.

Julie:

Use storytelling within that because that's how they're going to get

Julie:

selected for their first speeches.

Tyler:

Well, it's twofold.

Tyler:

So your story is, so I remember that, you know, you do realtors, let's use realtors.

Tyler:

For example, there are in my city alone, over 10,000 realtors.

Tyler:

My city is only, uh, just over a million population, which

Tyler:

means basically 1% of the entire

Julie:

Yeah.

Tyler:

selling real estate.

Tyler:

And, you know, it's like everybody knows a realtor or five, you know,

Tyler:

I can think of 10 off the top of my head, but I networked a lot.

Tyler:

And so how do they distinguish themselves?

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

A lot of that comes down to their personal story.

Tyler:

Like I have one friend of mine who, And you know what?

Tyler:

I was passionate about real estate and then went through a divorce and

Tyler:

she went, there are three transactions here for every divorced couple

Tyler:

because they're selling the house.

Tyler:

They live in.

Tyler:

And then they both have to bite

Julie:

yup.

Tyler:

and she's like, normally I'm selling a house, buying a house.

Tyler:

But if I do, if I specialize in this divorce thing, I get

Tyler:

three transactions out of it.

Tyler:

And, but the things she was afraid to say was because her whole identity

Tyler:

was around her and her husband and the happy little life and the white

Tyler:

picket fence that they had done.

Tyler:

And so she created this thing, white picket fence down.

Tyler:

I think it was what she was wearing.

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

And Yeah.

Tyler:

and I, exactly people remember it.

Tyler:

They're like, oh Yeah.

Tyler:

Okay.

Tyler:

And then, so she talks about, you know, Um, understanding the

Tyler:

specific needs of divorce couples.

Tyler:

And that was her niche.

Tyler:

That was her, you know, they call them the bright Blue, ocean.

Tyler:

Like that was her blue ocean She's like, no.

Tyler:

So the only people that are as the only solitude, divorced

Tyler:

couples, are you getting a divorce?

Tyler:

You're going to need to divide your assets.

Tyler:

Do you want to do it with you?

Tyler:

Understands who under, who can negotiate separately with

Julie:

And also understand the emotions that go into that sort of

Tyler:

Exactly.

Tyler:

And, and that's the thing.

Tyler:

And so she talks when she's talking about it on her website, she talks about, my

Tyler:

world collapsed five years ago when my husband came to me and said that he,

Tyler:

we didn't want to be married anymore.

Tyler:

And I was wrapped up in my identity.

Tyler:

Even my name, my business name is wrapped up in his life.

Julie:

exactly.

Tyler:

you know, and so she talks about, understanding that thing.

Tyler:

And those are the people who resonate with her.

Tyler:

And so when you're doing a call for, uh, presentations, weaving in

Tyler:

your personal story is, is critical.

Tyler:

That's how you stand, as you said, it's how you stand apart.

Tyler:

But the other thing to stand apart is don't it, isn't about you.

Tyler:

A call for speaker is not about you.

Tyler:

It's about what you can do for that.

Tyler:

Person's on.

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

If you bring Julie Brown on, author of the bestselling book, this shit works.

Tyler:

So a podcast with the same name, she has strategies that can

Tyler:

show you how to blah-blah-blah.

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

You're you want to talk about what you will do for their.

Tyler:

Um, and that's for me, right.

Tyler:

I have a powerful strategies to overcome stagefright, to tell a

Tyler:

more powerful and compelling story in simple to easy digest bits.

Tyler:

You know, these are workshops and, and then that's the other thing, too.

Tyler:

I point out whether you bring me on as a keynote or as a workshop I

Tyler:

will be available for the entire day to do either or both for the same.

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

What is the value proposition to the promoter?

Tyler:

So I always tell them, I will bring copies of the book.

Tyler:

If you want to have, pre-purchased, uh, any copies at cost, I will give those

Tyler:

way, I'll sign them as VIP gifts for you.

Tyler:

Um, I will run a breakout room.

Tyler:

I will run workshops.

Tyler:

And if you need me as a keynote, I'm more than happy to do it.

Tyler:

These are my testimonials.

Tyler:

Uh, but I want to make sure that your audience is served.

Tyler:

So what, you know, if there's anything else that I can do to be

Tyler:

of service, you'll let me know.

Tyler:

And that's usually how I make mine stand out is one of my, what

Tyler:

are you going to get hiring me?

Tyler:

Because it's about you about me.

Julie:

Yeah.

Julie:

And I think as an exercise, just if anybody's listening and they have

Julie:

an inkling that they want to speak, like you're not going to put in

Julie:

one speaking proposal and get it.

Julie:

Like you have to put in a lot when nobody knows.

Julie:

Who you are for lack of a putting it up better way.

Julie:

so I think there should be a challenge there, like, okay,

Julie:

I'm gonna end this quarter.

Julie:

I'm gonna submit five speaker submissions and see what happens.

Julie:

And because a lot of times what you'll get is you'll get feedback

Julie:

on your speaker submission.

Julie:

So if you weren't selected, you will get speed feedback

Julie:

on it and that can help you.

Julie:

Make a better submission the next time.

Julie:

So keep track of your feedback that you get on your submissions as well.

Tyler:

well.

Tyler:

and the other thing is too, Right.

Tyler:

That you can't get a job because you don't have experience, don't have

Tyler:

experience because you can't get a job.

Tyler:

Um, one of the things that I run regularly is a free challenge

Tyler:

called podcast mastery challenge.

Tyler:

And we bring people on it's three-day training and I love to give it, um,

Tyler:

and we challenge people to get on a hundred podcasts and a hundred.

Tyler:

And people go, oh, you can't do that.

Tyler:

I'm like, I've, I've done it three quarters in a row.

Tyler:

I was on over 300 podcasts last year.

Tyler:

And one of the things that happens with that is you get to have these wonderful.

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

And you start to understand what you know and what you don't know, what

Tyler:

are the questions that trip you up and what are the ones that you can

Tyler:

like totally rattle off right now, you suddenly, you know, your content.

Tyler:

And if you start to weave in your personal story and you start to see

Tyler:

what lands and resonates, that's how you start to hone your content.

Tyler:

And then not only that, but you become a known entity because then you can

Tyler:

put that into your speaker submission.

Tyler:

I was featured on the shit that works with Julie Brown.

Tyler:

I was on, XYZ podcast.

Tyler:

And you can also use those podcasts to show that you are media savvy

Tyler:

enough, that you can do radio and TV.

Tyler:

So a lot of times when I'm giving a media pitch, you know, because then

Tyler:

that's the other thing too, just the same way that there are calls for

Tyler:

presentations, your local news station, very likely struggling to find that good

Tyler:

news piece at the end of the broadcast.

Tyler:

And if you come to them with a proposal for a second, And it's exactly what it's

Tyler:

called by the way, a segment proposal.

Tyler:

And you say, I would love to come on and I can discuss this

Tyler:

for three to five minutes.

Tyler:

These are the questions that I'm prepared to answer.

Tyler:

This is my expertise.

Tyler:

This is who I am that starts to build your credibility.

Tyler:

So now, you were seeing on your local Fox affiliate, or you are seeing on your

Tyler:

local ABC affiliate, and then you can, and sometimes it gets picked up and the

Tyler:

news directors talk amongst each other, and maybe you get a national spot on that.

Julie:

Yeah.

Tyler:

And all of these are speaking opportunities that

Tyler:

then feed into each other.

Tyler:

It only takes the one for you to then, and always ask for a testimonial,

Julie:

Yes.

Julie:

Yes.

Julie:

A hundred percent.

Tyler:

from the promoter or from the audience, or both grab the testimonials,

Tyler:

if you can get them on video.

Tyler:

Right.

Tyler:

Because anybody can make up texts, but It's really hard to make up

Tyler:

somebody bragging about you on video.

Julie:

fun.

Julie:

It's amazing.

Julie:

I do it after every, so all my locals, I have a videographer that I used.

Julie:

She is my videographer and all my local speaking gigs.

Julie:

She video tapes that my speech, my keynote speech, but I also pair

Julie:

to stay after for like an hour and get audience testimonials.

Julie:

And those are almost more valuable than the keynote speech

Julie:

that I can get the clips from.

Tyler:

you're, you're biting your, your 45 minute keynote down into like 32nd

Tyler:

soundbites, but it's the minute log.

Julie:

Yes, exactly.

Tyler:

that's what sells, right?

Tyler:

And again, that's, that is my point to the speaker submission.

Tyler:

It doesn't matter what your credentials are, your accolades are or what

Tyler:

you're going to present, what your promoter cares about is what you're

Tyler:

going to do for your audience.

Tyler:

So if you have the testimonials or are, as you pointed out more valuable than what

Tyler:

your presentation is, this is what people had to say about Julie's presentation.

Tyler:

This is what people had to say about Tyler's presentation and.

Tyler:

That goes world.

Tyler:

I have a videographer that I fly everywhere with me too.

Tyler:

So big shout out to Tasha CUNY.

Tyler:

And she is, it's not even just local.

Tyler:

I was just speaking in Dallas, like I had her come out there, I'm going

Tyler:

to be in Phoenix and I'm going to be in Atlanta in September.

Tyler:

She's come out for that.

Tyler:

Like all of those things.

Julie:

is another tip.

Julie:

When you get to that point, if you speak a lot, have a team that

Julie:

you trust that you take places.

Julie:

My videographer has been working with me since.

Julie:

Second speech ever.

Tyler:

Yeah.

Julie:

And the second speech was, she literally videotaped me to tell me all the

Julie:

shit I was doing wrong, and it was brutal.

Julie:

It was

Tyler:

But valuable, right?

Julie:

valuable, but brutal.

Julie:

And so five years of speeches she's been taping for me.

Tyler:

And that's how I started working with Tasha.

Tyler:

So when we've run, um, both the power to speak naked in the power of influence

Tyler:

events, a three-day workshop, five day seminar, we, have all of our participants.

Julie:

Yup.

Tyler:

As part of it so that they can get that.

Tyler:

Cause it's real easy for me to be like.

Tyler:

And how did you feel in that moment and then asked you on is how did you feel?

Tyler:

Did that resonate?

Tyler:

Whatever, but for them to be able to see what their tics are, what their habits

Tyler:

are, how they're, how they're perceived.

Tyler:

Cause it's really hard.

Tyler:

Cause You can't see how you are perceived until you actually see it on video.

Tyler:

And then what do we do?

Tyler:

Have everybody have the opportunity to give testimonials?

Tyler:

What did you think of that

Julie:

Yep.

Tyler:

And then Tasha runs around and everybody and all of this.

Tyler:

They've gotten 10 to 12 testimonials over the course of the five days they've

Tyler:

honed in and practice their craft.

Tyler:

They've got a really good, powerful presentation and

Tyler:

story and off to the races.

Julie:

Perfect.

Julie:

So if people want to learn more about that workshop, seminar, how to work

Julie:

with you, how can they find you?

Julie:

How can they work with you?

Tyler:

Well, the best thing to do is to go to my website,

Tyler:

which is Sean Tyler, foley.com.

Tyler:

And Sean is spelled the proper Irish way.

Tyler:

S E a N D Y L E R.

Tyler:

So Sean Tyler, fully.com.

Tyler:

And uh, if They do go there.

Tyler:

I would ask a favor first before visiting my website.

Tyler:

You're already listening to this shit works.

Tyler:

And if you're listening to what Julia is presenting and you're doing it regularly,

Tyler:

I would ask you to whatever device you're listening to this on right now.

Tyler:

Hit pause.

Tyler:

give Julie a five star review if you haven't done that yet.

Tyler:

And, but be specific, right?

Tyler:

Like what is an episode that landed with you?

Tyler:

What it was something that resonated with you?

Tyler:

What is something that Julia has said that has really had impact for you?

Tyler:

Like be specific with that, because that helps her grow her audience, which means

Tyler:

that she can then bring better content to have the show, which only serves you.

Tyler:

This is it's, it's an entirely selfish thing for you to do at this point.

Tyler:

You get to do this selfish thing for you to grow the content and, and get

Tyler:

better guests on to the shit works by giving Julie a five star review.

Tyler:

And if you do that as a thank you for doing that, because it'll help

Tyler:

me grow my audience because more people will hear this episode.

Tyler:

I will reward you.

Tyler:

If you come to Sean Tyler, foley.com by giving you right on the top of

Tyler:

the page, if you come right to the main landing page, um, I will give

Tyler:

you access to our free Facebook group, which is endless stages.

Tyler:

Don't go through it through Facebook though, because you can get there.

Tyler:

But if you come through the website, go to Sean toddler, fully.com and

Tyler:

join the endless stages Facebook group through the website, I will

Tyler:

give you a free download of my book, which is the power to speak naked.

Tyler:

I will also give you access to my drop, the mic speaker trainings.

Tyler:

And super bonus.

Tyler:

We give you 20 minute one-on-one with me and it's not a weird

Tyler:

triaged sales pitchy thing.

Tyler:

I hate those.

Tyler:

I right.

Tyler:

Do unto others as you'd have others do unto you.

Tyler:

I hate getting business cards handed to me.

Tyler:

So I don't have business cards to other people.

Tyler:

I hate when people are like, here's your free little one-on-one session.

Tyler:

And then they're trying to sell me an $8,000 coaching package.

Tyler:

That is not, it's just, you have questions for me.

Tyler:

That's a quick way.

Tyler:

It's 20 minutes on my calendar.

Tyler:

I slot out four of those.

Tyler:

For people to take advantage of.

Tyler:

And, uh, I absolutely love having those conversations.

Tyler:

So no sales pitch with that, and it's, it's free gift, uh, to your

Tyler:

listeners, but only what, what do they got to do to do that?

Julie:

They

Tyler:

got to give you a five

Julie:

star review.

Tyler:

No five star review, no chat with me.

Tyler:

Well, you know, I do it.

Julie:

All right.

Julie:

Well, I'll put a link to your website in the show notes and

Julie:

thank you so much for being here.

Julie:

This was so fun.

Tyler:

Oh, thank you for having me.

Tyler:

I was a joy and a pleasure to be on.

Tyler:

I really did have this one circled on the calendar and like,

Tyler:

I, I, I do a lot of podcasts.

Tyler:

There's, there's very few that I get up and excited for.

Tyler:

I was up and excited for this one.

Julie:

Oh,

Julie:

One thing I realized in this interview is that we all have stories.

Julie:

Decades of them.

Julie:

But we don't sit down and think about how these stories, these

Julie:

events in our lives have shaped us.

Julie:

And how we can use those stories to better connect with other people.

Julie:

Stories have always helped us connect person to person,

Julie:

generation to generation.

Julie:

Our history is made up of the stories.

Julie:

We tell them, pass down.

Julie:

So why don't we use them more in business as a way to connect with people when it is

Julie:

one of the oldest forms of communication.

Julie:

And connection.

Julie:

I love that.

Julie:

My conversation with Tyler JoVE into how you can look for and

Julie:

find opportunities to speak.

Julie:

I can guarantee that there is no shortage of stages for you to try to be on.

Julie:

If you look for them.

Julie:

The moment I agreed to that.

Julie:

First speaking engagement is the moment my business change.

Julie:

And I found something new in my career.

Julie:

I didn't even know I wanted.

Julie:

Your experience matters, your expertise matters.

Julie:

Do not let the fear of judgment from other people.

Julie:

You don't even know, stand in the way of telling your story

Julie:

and sharing your expertise.

Julie:

Oh, do I, do I have a cocktail for this week?

Julie:

And it's exactly what you're going to be.

Julie:

If you decide to get on that stage and share your story.

Julie:

It's the naked and famous.

Julie:

Here's what you're going to need.

Julie:

One ounce of mez, Cal.

Julie:

One ounce of yellow or green chartreuse, one ounce of Aperol.

Julie:

And one ounce of freshly squeezed lime juice at the mezcal chartreuse,

Julie:

Aperol and lime juice cocktail shaker.

Julie:

Fill it with two handfuls of ice and shake until cold,

Julie:

straight into a cocktail glass.

Julie:

If desired garnish with the language.

Julie:

All right friends.

Julie:

That's it for this week as always.

Julie:

Thank you for being here and for listening.

Julie:

Until next week.

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