Are you feeling the effects of isolation and disconnection in this digital age? Tune in to Real Estate Energized as hosts Dill Ward and Nicholas Nascimento explore the ways in which communication can either hinder or facilitate genuine connections. From the erosion of traditional forms of communication, such as handwritten cards and love letters, to the impact of microcommunication in today's society, this episode delves into the importance of intentional communication and the role it plays in relieving isolation. Discover how a simple act of vulnerability and initiative can bridge the gap and create meaningful connections in both personal and professional settings.

LET'S CONNECT!

WANNA MAKE A MOVE?

• Search properties anywhere with us! <<

• Book a free call! >> dillwardgroup.com

• DM us on Instagram >> @dillwardgroup

ARE YOU IN THE REAL ESTATE BUSINESS?

• Join the Agent Inspired League on FB <<

• Let's be friends! Connect on IG >> @agentinspiredcommunity

We feel it is important to make our podcast transcripts available for accessibility. We use quality artificial intelligence tools to make it possible for us to provide this resource to our audience. We do have human eyes reviewing this, but they will rarely be 100% accurate. We appreciate your patience with the occasional errors you will find in our transcriptions. If you find an error in our transcription, or if you would like to use a quote, or verify what was said, please feel free to reach out to us at connect@37by27.com.

Ever feel like you're navigating through a sea of disconnection? In today's episode, we're diving deep into the realm of human connection, unlocking the keys to break free from isolation. Whether you're tethered to technology or surrounded by people yet still feeling alone, join us as we unravel the secrets to genuine connection and offer a lifeline to those craving a sense of belonging. Listen in and move toward a more connected and fulfilling life.

You're listening to Real Estate Energized, where real estate meets real life. I'm Dill Ward.

And I'm Nicholas Nascimento, and we are not just realtors. We're your guides to the world of real estate with a deeper twist.

If you're thinking about moving sometime in the future, are already in motion with an upcoming move, or are a real estate professional who recognizes there's more depth to real estate than just a transaction, then join us on a journey as we unlock the real stories of personal growth that happens while buying and selling real estate.

Each week, we’ll bring you unique perspectives and profound life lessons we've seen through our clients and our own experiences. Let's get started.

Hey, Dill. It's that time of year again where everything gets so much darker and the sun doesn't show as much. And there's holidays, but, you know, sometimes you sit around people, you know you love them, and you know that they love you. But in some ways, like, even after you've gone and you've experienced all these things, you can still end up feeling a little bit isolated. Like, everybody, all walks of life.

Yeah. I think especially in this digital age where it's PDFs and text messages and really short emails written by robots, it's hard to feel anything. I mean, even someone sends you and emoji, and you still sit there and scratch your head going, what did that message mean?

Yeah. It's pretty crazy. And I feel like, too, there's another side of this where we're like, I feel like the mailbox used to come with more of this gratitude or these, like, different holiday cards and grateful feeling things that were, like, from people you knew and that you've known since your childhood, but, like, it's a little bit light in the mailbox sometimes.

Well, and I think now more than ever, we're in information overload, a million advertising messages a minute. Just it's hard to create any mental bandwidth or space to give energy to other people, to notice or make a special point to communicate outside of something that you're trying to accomplish or your need. So, even just calling someone to say hi is kind of like a dying thing.

Yeah. It's weird.

It’s just like, people are like, what? What's wrong? You know? Just like, just want to say hi.

Yeah. You're right. Every other marketing piece I see is, like, people smiling and happy with each other, but it also feels so distant from some of the emotional struggle that I know is out there in the world. So, it's perplexing.

Yeah. And you know what's interesting? Like, I'm a real estate agent. I'm out there working every day, right? I called seven people today. Nobody answered their phone. And there wasn't even a voice mail to confirm the person because remember when, like, back in the day, you would call someone just to hear their voice mail? And he was like, oh, I love them. They're so sweet or funny or whatever. Now it's like you've reached bloop, bloop, bloop, like, you can't even get a little joy hit from hearing someone's voice mail because they don't even have one. And let's be honest, they're never going to listen to your voice mail because it's been transcribed and sent to a text, and hopefully, it didn't totally mess up what you said.

Do you remember the days when they first came out with the prerecorded voice mail things that were gimmicky? And I think I had one that was like Ghostbusters but, you know, that was definitely before I got into any sort of professional avatar or, like, avenue where my phone mattered.

Yeah. Well, this is the point, though. Like, all these little erosions of joy. Right? So, no more cards and love letters in the mailbox. No more just calling people to say hi. All these ways of the past that we've, were able to build communities and form connections and communicate are kind of falling by the wayside. And I think in today's world, in order to feel connection, you really have to recognize that you're going to have to take more initiative to get out of what you want, and we'll go into that a little bit later in this episode. But I kind of want to talk a little bit more about the ways that communication could be blocking us getting what we want, whether we're in a real estate transaction, if we're the buyer, if we're the seller, if we're the realtor, like, whoever we are in the party of people that have to all work together to accomplish a goal, being effective at your communication, being intentional with your communication, and really working to develop these skills. Like, I know we're all going to be relying on chatbots to tell us what to say, but we still need to be the intelligent prompter that's guiding it to the voice we want to have and the tone we want to take. And even in micro communications, whether like text messages or just blurted emails that you were trying to type, like, while you were walking somewhere, like, every word matters.

Speaking of emails, there's at least a thousand of emails I know were not sent that have been kind of heated because sometimes communication can feel really heavily emotional, and it can be easy to kind of lean back and be like, nope. My emotions took the wheel here. You know, you better watch out. And sometimes that can have, like, an adverse effect on feeling connection. And I think often, some of the things that create a lack of connection with people who you know the best are things that we say that are bold statements that we don't want to ever come back from.

Yeah. The always, the nevers. You know, I want to just throw you some gratitude because I hope everybody has someone in their life that can slow them down. I'm always going a million miles a minute, and I feel like I have to answer everything I'm doing super-fast. So, something arrives at my door. Right? A text message, an email. And immediately, I feel an emotion about it. I'm like, what the heck? What is this person thinking? I'm like creating this whole energy in me that is creating this, like, story around why I'm being wronged or misunderstood or something. And I just start firing back a message. And sometimes I'll just go, does this make sense, or should I send this? And you just stare at me and pause. I'm like, why don't you have an answer? You're like, because I'm thinking about it.

I think it's also a hazard of the internet is that we have this immediacy thing going on where it's like, what is the weather today? Immediate answer.

Yeah. Like, I'm staring at you. Like, why haven't you told me yet? Why haven't you told me that? Forget it. I'm just going to hit send. You know? It just like but I'm so grateful how many emails I have not sent, how many text messages I have not sent that are laced in emotion, and you are so good at just being a calm mind to say, you know, think through that. Like, what are you trying to accomplish? And that is the key to everything in communication is what do you want the other side to take away from whatever ever you're trying to communicate. Or is it going to incite the right emotion in them before you hit send?.

Yeah. And, like, what reaction are you looking for? Like, are you looking for a direct action? Are you looking for a specific response? Are you looking for in coronary influence? Like, what's the goal? You know? But I think it's important to recognize that when you're communicating, it’s important to know what the goal is.

Well, in all things in personal life and business, right, I think we sometimes overwhelm people. Maybe you're turning a text message into a journal entry. Like, you can't give so much backstory and emotion and fiery words and stuff and expect the person to respond in 2 seconds. Like, that's another element of this is putting the right kind of, you know, especially in digital communication, putting the right amount of information to sort of spoon feed and breadcrumb the conversation to where you're trying take it so it doesn't just, like, completely overwhelm them and shut them down or make it so that they're only answering one of the 5 things you pointed out.

Yeah. Like, it's totally possible that you tell somebody something, and they just don't respond because they don't know how to say what they think about what you've said politely so you end up with, like, a long wait time on your response. So, if you can find a way to say what you need to say without coming off as discompassionate towards the other person's process. You can give yourself a lot of leeway for building up a better experience for everybody involved.

And making the assumption that the other person cares about the outcome as well, whether you're asking a friend to a movie or you're negotiating a complex transaction with a bunch of other human beings on the other side of the table. You know? Like, that's something we forget too is that, collectively, in business, you’re not really communicating with 1 person. You are communicating through 1 person. But that person may have a partner. That person may have a family. That person may have a lifeline. I call it the lifeline. It's like their contractor, their brother, their dad, their best friend from college who's now an architect and knows everything about the piece of real estate that you're trying to buy. You know? It's like, you never really understand or know what channel your communication is going through to reach the other side and who the collective is that's responding.

Yeah. So, then the question then becomes, like, how do you take this clarity and communication and apply it towards the lens of relieving isolation.

Okay. So, something I've been thinking a lot about lately is the fact that we can be in charge of the experience we're having by owning what we're feeling. So, when isolation or disconnection is really present for you, it's oftentimes because you're missing someone. My gosh. Coming through COVID in the past few years, we have lost so many people, and it becomes really apparent they're missing in holidays, in times that other families are gathering or friends. And I think that when you really notice it in yourself, like, you can choose to have that experience for a little bit in grief and in honoring those you love, but also to remember that the world is a really big place. And there's so many people, and other people feel just like you and are hoping and wishing and praying that somebody will just knock on their door and say hi to them and offer them a kind word or do something. And there's an important saying I always think about, and it says, vulnerability lets loving.

So, I've been thinking about that recently. So, I needed to get a calculator, and the calculator had to be really specific that it couldn't have any advanced functions, and I couldn't use a phone. I couldn't just use the calculator app on my phone. Had to use a real basic calculator. And I remember thinking, like, where am I going to go to buy that? Do they even sell that anymore? I'm going to have to go buy that, and how dumb I'm never going to use it. It'll just be a thing I'll have. But instead, I took a bold action, and I texted one of our neighbors that we know kind of well, but not that super well. I just was like, hey. Do you have this? And is this something I could borrow. And I'm not the kind of person that's likely to go ask people for help. I'm independent. I know how to get things done. I tend to do them myself. So just texting someone and saying, hey. Do you have this, and can I borrow it? It felt super vulnerable to me. And immediately, the response was like, yes. I have 1. Then literally minutes later, he was knocking on my door going, here's a calculator. And I could tell you, it felt really good to, like, help me, you know, to do this thing for me. And that was all on me to say, I could have just run into a store and just bought 1 and went on my way and threw it in the back and never looked at it again. But instead, I got the opportunity to bridge connection from the need.

Yeah. And I think in a lot of ways, our fears take over on the realm of, like, what we anticipate other people's reactions will be towards a genuine request for things. And isolation and combating isolation through talking to your friends and neighbors is one of those things where it's easy to dive into the doubts of like, oh, nobody really wants to talk to me. And if I reach out and they're saying no, like, what do I do? You know? I think if you find a way to communicate to people that you're craving connection, you want to have a different experience from last year. You, like, find wording that doesn't say, I'm lonely. Entertain me. Like, you have to find an energy that makes it feel like it's an opportunity for them to open up their experience to you and or to open themselves up to a different experience.

Well and being the one to go first. Like, if you notice someone new moving into your neighborhood, be the one to go first. Go knock on their door. Welcome them. Say hi. You're here in this neighborhood, especially if you don't even know anyone in your neighborhood. This is a great time to be like, guess what? I'm passing the baton to you. You're the new person now. And, like, we can bring joy and humor to the most, you know, awkward connection opportunities by just being human together and honoring and acknowledging it and allowing the other person to feel welcome, to feel seen, to feel like they belong. Like, we have the power to gift to that to someone else.

That's beautiful. And giving that that experience is something that it's like an opportunity to bring joy into the world. So, highly recommend it.

And it's part of your self-care too. You know? Isolation is a thing that can keep amplifying itself. I know that when I experience it, it does what Nicholas liked to say earlier. Like, it becomes the, it's always like this, and it's never going to be different, and just the superlative dragons get me. And my feeling amplifies, and I feel like I'm just putting up this wall around me where I don't want to see any good possible. I don't want to see that anyone cares about me or that there's any space for newness or caring, and that is just all part of our self-projection. That's all coming out of our mind.

Yeah. And it's kind of like an adolescent thought. Like, I remember when I was a kid, like, I would have those thoughts. Like, you guys never want me to have fun. It's like, no. They want you to have fun. They just can't always be doing exactly what you want them to do. But you have to let go of anytime that you feel the need to say always, never, or forever, like, you kind of have to take a step back and say, maybe not this time. Maybe not next time. It'll maybe change. I don't know these things because I'm not reading in the future.

I also want to give another tip out there If this is resonating for you, if you're new in a town or an area, like, create your own group. If no one's inviting you to a party, if no one's inviting you to a group, start your own. Literally, put it out there in the internet and say, hey. Anybody who's interested in, you know, going golfing or going to movies or loves to put sweaters on poodles, like, whatever you're into, there are other human beings who are just hoping that someone like you will go first and put it together.

Yeah. You know, that was one of the things I really loved in one of my previous lives. I was really into swing dancing. Like, you could go into a city that you knew hardly anybody. You could find communities that were interested in swing dancing. Anyway, so it was fascinating that, like, you could take that same idea and you just pop into a new city and be like, hey. Does anybody else want to learn swing dancing? And you'd find people who were just like, that sounds fun, and you'd have a community, like, overnight.

Yes. So, the point is don't stay stuck in loneliness. Don't stay totally isolated. Also, there is great energy. And if you can get someone on the phone, you may have to call a lot of people. But call someone and just see where the conversation goes. Just start talking. I know it's harder to pin people down these days, but especially calling someone you don't know that well, there's a little bit of vast heartbeat that kind of happens for you, or you're like, oh, what if they answer? Like, what am I going to say? What am I going to talk about? And just be in that experience. I'm telling you; it will really lift your mood.

Yeah. Let the experience take its own flight. Communicate a baseline expectation, and then allow for fluidity of, like, you know, maybe they only have 10 minutes. Maybe somebody will only have, like, 30 seconds to say, hey. How are you doing? I'm driving the car. Sorry. I can't talk too long. Okay. Hey. It's good chatting. Bye. You know? Like, you have to allow, like, some fluidity and, and, repeat showing up. Like, repeated occurrences of presence, like, really make a difference in somebody's life. If you run into somebody one time, and you're like, hey. Bye. And that's the only experience you ever have, perhaps diversify that. Switch it up. Like, stop them. Be like, hey. I see you again.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. You just reminded me of an experience I just had last, a couple weeks ago. I went to a conference in Tacoma and met someone there, and we were just kind of cordial. It was, like, hey. Nice to meet you. You know? It didn't go too deep. But then the next day, I was in another conference in San Diego, and then he was also there. And, like, just us both noticing that we were in the 2nd, you know, setting together. Like, it was just this instant bond. Like, oh, you're here, and I'm here. We were just both in this other city. And I really love that you identified that because the consistency of being present in people's lives creates almost instant bonds without any other brilliance.

And, you know, in a lot of ways, there are some people who you may, like, see routinely. Like, the person across the street who you walk out to put your trash out at the same day, and they put their trash out. And you're like, oh, hey, John. Hey, Bob. It's kind of like a complacent, oh, we're here. But, like, switch it up and see what happens. You know? Like, throw a wrench in the works and try and aim for positive outcomes, but, yeah, see what you can do differently.

Yeah. Bring some energy. Ask a really thoughtful question or make a statement, and that's not just so boring. Like, is it trash day? Blah, blah, blah. Like, the experience that you have with other people is 50% your responsibility.

Yeah. And another thing that's easy to do that definitely doesn't help in building conversation opportunity is, like, try not to lead with sarcasm if you don't know the person very well. Like, it can really stifle your interaction if the person who's talking with you is trying to suddenly figure out if everything, you're saying is sarcastic or not.

Thank you for saying that. That happens to me so often. I'll be out in an event. I'll introduce myself to someone. I'll say, hi. My name is Dill. And they will immediately make some kind of, like, derogatory question about why my name is Dill. And I like, why is your name John? Like, I'm so confused. You know? Just like, why be mean to me before you've even, you know, made a formal connection. So, yes, sarcasm is best for your buds.

Yep. It's one of those things like a seasoning. You don't put too much of it in. It makes it too sour or something. I don't know. You got to mix it in, like, gently.

Well, let's land this plane and just take of the energized perspective for our industry colleagues, just a reminder to get out there and you know, in our work, we need to get on the phone. We need to get on the phone and talk to people and truly understand the intention. The brevity of text messages really doesn't allow for that deeper understanding and empathy. Right? So, be mindful of really trying to go deeper with what you're trying to convey because you're in a persuasive and influenced business, and you need to be able to come across that way. Burma people out there thinking about entering the real estate market, thinking about buying or selling, hey. Getting clear and communicating with everyone around you about what you're going through in this season, maybe you thought you were going to buy a house in the summer and it just didn't happen. The right house didn't come, and now your kind of dragging on in the disappointment or the discouragement is starting to kick in, and that may make you just sort of maybe you never call your agent back because you don't want to think about how you didn't buy a house yet. You know, it's easy to get isolated, and my advice to you is just pick up the phone. Say, hey. What's going on in the market? I don't know if I'm going to buy yet, but stay connected. Stay part of the conversation. It will help you get to your goal.

As we close the door on another incredible episode of Real Estate Energized, we want to express our heartfelt gratitude to you, our listeners. If you're looking to buy or sell real estate anywhere and need a great agent or you are an inspired agent yourself, connect with us.

We hope you found inspiration and insight in this episode. Remember, real estate is not just about walls and roofs. It's about the stories and dreams that fill those spaces.

Stay tuned for more exciting stories and life lessons in the episodes to come. And if you have a unique real estate story or topic, you'd like us to explore, reach out in the links below in the show notes.

Until next time. Keep dreaming, keep growing, and keep finding joy in the journey. Thanks for joining us on Real Estate Energized!