Shownotes
BUSINESS BUILDING INSIGHTS
- If you figure out how you got stuck, it provides understanding on how to turn it around.
- Women wait to take action until they feel confident.
- In truth, confidence comes from having the courage to act.
- Confidence also comes from doing things you’re scared to do.
- You can do hard things and it won't break you.
- You can move past overwhelm into clarity and joy.
- Staying with stuck people keeps you stuck too.
- Live for something bigger than yourself.
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Fear is Not the Boss of You by Jennifer AllwoodCONTACT LINKS
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Gift biz unwrapped,
Speaker:episode 263 if you're somebody who is sad or have been
Speaker:really just tapped with fear,
Speaker:it's a book that's going to give you the courage to
Speaker:get out of the thing in life.
Speaker:Attention gifters,
Speaker:bakers, crafters,
Speaker:and makers pursuing your dream can be fun.
Speaker:Whether you have an established business or looking to start one
Speaker:now you are in the right place.
Speaker:This is gift to biz unwrapped,
Speaker:helping you turn your skill into a flourishing business.
Speaker:Join us for an episode packed full of invaluable guidance,
Speaker:resources, and the support you need to grow your gift biz.
Speaker:Here is your host gift biz gal,
Speaker:Sue moon Heights.
Speaker:Hi there,
Speaker:it's Sue And as always I'm so happy that we're together
Speaker:again here today.
Speaker:How are you doing?
Speaker:We're in week.
Speaker:Oh, I don't even know anymore of being at home and
Speaker:managing through this uncertain time.
Speaker:I want you to know I'm thinking about you.
Speaker:Whatever your circumstances and challenges are today,
Speaker:you have my heart and my support.
Speaker:I keep trying to think of other ways to help and
Speaker:connect with you and as you know,
Speaker:I offered up my book maker to master for free on
Speaker:this podcast.
Speaker:All this month you can go back and find all 12
Speaker:episodes bright here.
Speaker:I'm also going live in my private Facebook group,
Speaker:gift biz breeze at 11:00 AM central Mondays,
Speaker:Wednesdays, and Fridays.
Speaker:If you're not in the breeze yet,
Speaker:come join us there.
Speaker:You'll hear more about the group at the end of the
Speaker:show, but you can also go to gift biz,
Speaker:unwrapped.com forward slash gift biz breeze or just search Facebook for
Speaker:gift biz breeze.
Speaker:The Breezers are an amazing and supportive group of women,
Speaker:highly interactive and an uplifting place to be for sure,
Speaker:especially now and if you're already part of the group.
Speaker:Thank you because you are one of the women who has
Speaker:made it truly amazing.
Speaker:Today we're going to hear from Jennifer Allwood.
Speaker:Her new book was released a short time ago and couldn't
Speaker:be more timely.
Speaker:Fear is not the boss of you.
Speaker:When she reached out about being on the show,
Speaker:I rearranged my lineup to include her as soon as I
Speaker:could. Right now,
Speaker:I know a lot of you are experiencing fear that's expected
Speaker:and completely understandable,
Speaker:but the truth is fear plays a role in our lives
Speaker:even when we're not in the middle of a pandemic.
Speaker:Jennifer shares with us why?
Speaker:This is how to work through fear and in the end,
Speaker:not let it prevent you from living a life that in
Speaker:your heart you truly want to live.
Speaker:Here's my interview with Jennifer Today.
Speaker:I am so excited to reintroduce you to Jennifer Allwood.
Speaker:Jennifer is the passionate cheerleader of all women who adds biblical
Speaker:truth to the modern day.
Speaker:Big dream mantra.
Speaker:She's the author of fear is not the boss of you,
Speaker:how to get out of your head and live the life
Speaker:you were made for.
Speaker:And she's also the host of the Jennifer Allwood show.
Speaker:Her no nonsense approach to doing things you're scared to do
Speaker:and saying yes to God is helping women everywhere build the
Speaker:life and the business of their dreams.
Speaker:When she's not coaching.
Speaker:She's living the dream with mr magic,
Speaker:who's her husband,
Speaker:Jason and therefore wild kiddos.
Speaker:Noah Easton,
Speaker:Arava, grace and their new bonus kiddo.
Speaker:Ariana. Jennifer,
Speaker:welcome back to the show.
Speaker:Hi Sue.
Speaker:I'm so glad to be here.
Speaker:Thanks for having me.
Speaker:I am thrilled that you're here and just to brief our
Speaker:listeners in case we have some new timers here,
Speaker:Jennifer and I spoke back last June episode 217 so if
Speaker:you want to hear more about Jennifer,
Speaker:her business,
Speaker:her story,
Speaker:all of that,
Speaker:you can go back and reference that episode,
Speaker:but for now we're going to move forward and all the
Speaker:new things that have happened since then.
Speaker:This. Yes,
Speaker:yes. A lot of new things.
Speaker:Well, start telling me the book,
Speaker:like how did that all happen?
Speaker:Well, I have known for a long time that I wanted
Speaker:to write a book,
Speaker:even when I was a little girl,
Speaker:I can remember wanting to write a children's book.
Speaker:I wanted to be a children's author when I was older.
Speaker:I just loved to read.
Speaker:And then for a good decade we were raised in small
Speaker:babies. We had three kids and under six years and so
Speaker:kind of the reading went out the door for a while.
Speaker:But in recent years the kids have all grown up a
Speaker:little bit.
Speaker:Everybody's wiping their own bottoms.
Speaker:So about four years ago I really decided that I was
Speaker:ready to write a book and I wanted to take all
Speaker:of my blog posts.
Speaker:I've been doing DIY painting and home decorating and projects around
Speaker:my house for years and years on my blog.
Speaker:The magic brush back then.
Speaker:And so I wanted to just take all those blog posts
Speaker:and someone told me you could just wrap those all up
Speaker:into a book,
Speaker:like just copy and paste.
Speaker:So I literally spent like months and months and months copying
Speaker:and pasting my entire blog into like a word format.
Speaker:And then I sass you and I just like waited,
Speaker:weighed in.
Speaker:I thought,
Speaker:well surely somebody is going to reach out to me.
Speaker:And there would be like,
Speaker:Hey, we want to publish this book,
Speaker:but still just in word format on your laptop.
Speaker:We heard about it through the grapevine somehow,
Speaker:and of course that never happened,
Speaker:but I did get introduced to a book agent about two
Speaker:years ago and her and I had some long conversations about
Speaker:my desire to write a book and she said,
Speaker:so do you still want to write a DIY book?
Speaker:And I said,
Speaker:I actually don't,
Speaker:like I don't,
Speaker:God has really pivoted me out of the painting,
Speaker:the DIY industry into coaching women in the online space.
Speaker:And so that's no longer even a topic I wanted a
Speaker:book on.
Speaker:And so then we really had to start kind of fleshing
Speaker:out, well,
Speaker:okay, so what is a book you'd want to write?
Speaker:What do you feel like is a book that you'd be
Speaker:happy to 10 years down the road,
Speaker:have put that out into the world?
Speaker:And so we really worked on flushing that out and trying
Speaker:to figure out kind of what I thought my gift to
Speaker:the world could be or how I could help the most
Speaker:women. And so we talked about writing a business book and
Speaker:I just like,
Speaker:I knew it wasn't a business book.
Speaker:And so what it basically boiled down to is when I'm
Speaker:helping women one-on-one or when I'm coaching them in business,
Speaker:what I feel like can do best is encourage a woman
Speaker:to do things in spite of her fear,
Speaker:to see things from a different angle so that she realizes
Speaker:that, look,
Speaker:we've all got things that we're scared of doing,
Speaker:but there's also things that you really need to do here
Speaker:in this one lifetime that you're given.
Speaker:And so that is what I wrote the book.
Speaker:Such a big topic though,
Speaker:and I agree with you and we talk about this often
Speaker:in my coaching too,
Speaker:is that it's the fear of doing and not taking action.
Speaker:And when you don't take action,
Speaker:nothing ever happens.
Speaker:Right? So how did you,
Speaker:and I wanted to get into some of the topics in
Speaker:the contents of the book and by the way,
Speaker:it's fabulous.
Speaker:I already know that you are fulfilling your hope for this
Speaker:book of helping a lot of women.
Speaker:That's like already a given even though I know that it's
Speaker:at the time that we're talking,
Speaker:it's just now recently out in the world I believe.
Speaker:Yeah. But we did hit number one bestseller on Amazon yesterday.
Speaker:Amen. Congratulations.
Speaker:Yeah. Literally though,
Speaker:I mean it's the worst possible time to launch a book
Speaker:simply because the whole world is really distracted right now with
Speaker:what's going on in the world with Toronto bios and things.
Speaker:But like I was telling my dad yesterday like I'm so
Speaker:grateful that the book is a relevant topic to today.
Speaker:I mean because we have more fear I think going on
Speaker:in the world right now.
Speaker:I'm at least glad that the topic is very relevant for
Speaker:everyone. Yeah,
Speaker:it definitely is.
Speaker:And people have a lot of time to read,
Speaker:so I'm glad they're looking.
Speaker:I'm glad they're getting it cause I think it's going to
Speaker:help even more.
Speaker:So I think even moving on after we've conquered this,
Speaker:we're back in whatever our new normal is going to be.
Speaker:I think that the book is going to do so much
Speaker:for so many people.
Speaker:I want to go back to my question real quick.
Speaker:Like how did you start diving into the topic of fear?
Speaker:Dad even seems fearful to dabble this topic Well,
Speaker:so I think we kind of started with the end in
Speaker:mind. So what do you want to read or to walk
Speaker:away from the book with and for me,
Speaker:I really wanted a woman to walk away and go,
Speaker:okay, I'm not alone.
Speaker:I see now that every single woman fights with these same
Speaker:exact emotions,
Speaker:but there are still things on the side of heaven that
Speaker:I need to do and should do to use the gifts
Speaker:that I've been given to serve my family and my community
Speaker:as well.
Speaker:And so,
Speaker:okay, what do I need to do now?
Speaker:I wanted every woman when she was done to like almost
Speaker:take a deep breath and go,
Speaker:okay, all right,
Speaker:so let's go.
Speaker:So we started with kind of that in mind and then
Speaker:I thought of all the different things that I feel like
Speaker:are relevant to the topic of fear and the majority of
Speaker:the women that I deal with,
Speaker:things like imposter syndrome and things like feeling not good enough
Speaker:and things like procrastination since I coached so many women who
Speaker:are business owners,
Speaker:like those topics come up a lot because I kept wanting
Speaker:to like dig deeper and like,
Speaker:okay, so why does a woman procrastinate?
Speaker:Why does a woman feel imposter syndrome?
Speaker:Why does she self sabotage?
Speaker:Like take that even a step deeper.
Speaker:And so we basically broke the book into several different sections.
Speaker:So like the first section is basically asking,
Speaker:okay, are you a woman who is stuck,
Speaker:overwhelmed or scared?
Speaker:And so part two is that,
Speaker:okay, so how did you actually get there?
Speaker:Because sometimes I think if we could figure out how we
Speaker:got wherever we are,
Speaker:it gives us clues as to how to get out of
Speaker:there. So I think that there's a chapter on like watching
Speaker:other people win on social media.
Speaker:Sometimes we get really stuck and overwhelmed and scared to try
Speaker:new things because we're watching all these other people and I'm
Speaker:using air quotes like crazy right now to like be successful
Speaker:in the online space and I love the internet.
Speaker:This is how I make all of my money.
Speaker:This is how my family,
Speaker:we've run our business.
Speaker:But the internet,
Speaker:it's both a gift and it's also something that just can
Speaker:hurt so badly in terms of following our dreams.
Speaker:So I talk about that.
Speaker:I talk about how if you're hanging out with a lot
Speaker:of people who are stuck,
Speaker:like that's going to keep you stuck.
Speaker:I talk sometimes about how generationally we're often handed things from
Speaker:our parents.
Speaker:We stay stuck because that's kind of how we were raised
Speaker:and we were raised around stuck people and a lot of
Speaker:times those people,
Speaker:although precious,
Speaker:they want to keep us stuck.
Speaker:So I looked at this whole like section I on how
Speaker:you got to where you are and then really determining in
Speaker:part three like are you actually ready to change?
Speaker:Because I do know that there's a cost,
Speaker:there's a price to be paid for breaking generational purses.
Speaker:There's a price to be paid for being first in your
Speaker:family to do something.
Speaker:There's a price to be paid for getting out of your
Speaker:comfort zone.
Speaker:There's a price that has to be paid and so not
Speaker:every woman is ready to do the dreams that are in
Speaker:their heart or to make changes in her life.
Speaker:So we talk about that.
Speaker:I really give women like some tactical examples.
Speaker:A lot of the women that I serve suit their mothers.
Speaker:I love moms so much and I have three biological children.
Speaker:We're in the process of adopting our fourth kiddo and I
Speaker:find that so often moms will put themselves last on the
Speaker:list. Now serve everybody else in the house and their community
Speaker:and their family first and themselves last.
Speaker:And so I talk in the book about how if you
Speaker:can't serve yourself by way of doing the thing that you
Speaker:feel like you're supposed to be doing or getting unstuck or
Speaker:doing the thing you're scared to do,
Speaker:could you do it for other people?
Speaker:Could you do it for your kiddos because they're watching it?
Speaker:Could you do it for your community because they're watching?
Speaker:Could you do it for God if you're a woman of
Speaker:faith? So we talked about that and then the last section
Speaker:is just like,
Speaker:Hey, I just want you to know that basically when you
Speaker:decide that you're going to do the thing that you're scared
Speaker:to do,
Speaker:that you're going to get unstuck.
Speaker:Like this is pretty much what you can expect to happen.
Speaker:Like crash,
Speaker:probably gonna hit the fan.
Speaker:And I like to warn women of that because I think
Speaker:so often they'll start like making moves and they'll start their
Speaker:business or they're finally fill out the paperwork to buy a
Speaker:new house or those shift jobs and then they'll kind of
Speaker:be hit with resistance right off the bat and they'll think
Speaker:that they've made a wrong decision.
Speaker:That's definitely not the case.
Speaker:And so we broke out the book into those like five
Speaker:different sections and I think it's really helpful for women to
Speaker:like have it broken out that way so they can kind
Speaker:of see where they fit,
Speaker:where they are and where they're going from here.
Speaker:I absolutely agree with you and I think one of the
Speaker:things that we all are driven to,
Speaker:and even though I hear it over and over again,
Speaker:even for myself,
Speaker:I feel this way is I always feel like when I
Speaker:reach my next goal,
Speaker:whatever that is,
Speaker:whether it's revenue,
Speaker:whether it's followers,
Speaker:whether it's students,
Speaker:whatever, then like all the fear goes away,
Speaker:right? You're not judging them.
Speaker:Imposter syndrome goes away.
Speaker:You're not anxious anymore.
Speaker:Things are just smooth sailing.
Speaker:Yeah. If it's a phone,
Speaker:like I talk in the book about that too,
Speaker:about how there's so many people that we think are like
Speaker:making it air folks.
Speaker:They're successful and they struggle with the same thoughts and the
Speaker:same fears and the same everything that we do.
Speaker:There's a saying by Joyce Meyer,
Speaker:she says,
Speaker:new level,
Speaker:new devil.
Speaker:And so I think that we think too,
Speaker:that once I get to this size,
Speaker:once I get to this place in life or this part
Speaker:of my business that I'll have a control on this.
Speaker:But literally every time you kind of level up,
Speaker:whether it's in business or life or,
Speaker:or however,
Speaker:there's always like new things coming at you and new things
Speaker:that make you wonder if you're good enough if you can
Speaker:actually do this.
Speaker:And so I do think that it's such an illusion for
Speaker:us to think that we're ever going to have like smoothing.
Speaker:I wish that that was the case,
Speaker:but it's just not,
Speaker:it's just not.
Speaker:You just accept that that's the way it is and just
Speaker:adjust to the fact that everyone's the same way and you
Speaker:just, I don't know who said it,
Speaker:but get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Speaker:Absolutely. A hundred percent I was thinking the other day about
Speaker:how do you ever,
Speaker:like right now we're in the middle of being in a
Speaker:stay at home order here in Kansas city.
Speaker:We're on week four so and apparently I eat my feelings
Speaker:apparently all my feelings right now,
Speaker:but I was telling somebody being there,
Speaker:being like I could look back on pictures of myself like
Speaker:10 years ago,
Speaker:20 years ago,
Speaker:I can remember the girl in high school myself in high
Speaker:school and I remember thinking,
Speaker:gosh, I thought I was frumpy,
Speaker:fluffy. I thought I was chunking then and I'm like,
Speaker:Oh my gosh,
Speaker:what was I even thinking?
Speaker:And I think sometimes that's how we are in life in
Speaker:general. Like now I can look back at things that I
Speaker:worried about,
Speaker:freaked out over a decade ago and things that kept me
Speaker:stuck and now I'm like,
Speaker:Oh my gosh.
Speaker:Like what was I even thinking that was being so ridiculous
Speaker:making that hard phone call?
Speaker:Why was I so intimidated by that?
Speaker:Writing that really hard email signing up for that new class.
Speaker:Like why did I make that into such a big deal?
Speaker:Why was that so hard for me?
Speaker:And so I think we're constantly in this like mode of
Speaker:growing and God's growing us and we're being stretched and we're
Speaker:being developed and grown into the person that we're supposed to
Speaker:be. And so I don't know that we ever finally ride
Speaker:to make it.
Speaker:Yeah, I mean,
Speaker:I think it's so big in the moment that you're doing
Speaker:these things,
Speaker:but like you said,
Speaker:when you look back,
Speaker:it's just like this little speck of time and really whatever
Speaker:happens, like let's say the worst thing that you could think
Speaker:of happens really doesn't mean that much in the long term
Speaker:when you're looking at a few years out.
Speaker:Yeah. Well,
Speaker:I had a friend make a really great point to me
Speaker:yesterday. I'm in a mastermind with her for business and she's
Speaker:been reading my book and she said,
Speaker:Jennifer, it's just like,
Speaker:it's really good.
Speaker:And I'm like,
Speaker:Oh thank you so much.
Speaker:And she's like,
Speaker:no, I mean like it's really good.
Speaker:I'm like,
Speaker:Oh Hey,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:I'm saying thank you so much.
Speaker:She goes,
Speaker:here's what she said,
Speaker:she couldn't get over.
Speaker:She goes,
Speaker:I'm reading your book and I'm thinking this has to be
Speaker:so hard.
Speaker:Like you worked for a year to lay this out.
Speaker:And I went through four different copies and I got down
Speaker:to six days before the deadline for the book and I
Speaker:threw away the third copy and started the book over because
Speaker:I didn't like it.
Speaker:And at uni gram three and sometimes we do crazy things
Speaker:like that.
Speaker:And so she's like,
Speaker:I can't imagine how much work that wasn't how hard that
Speaker:was to get it out into the world and lodging it
Speaker:like you are.
Speaker:And yet the last time I was with you in Canada
Speaker:cause we were in Canada together for a mastermind,
Speaker:a bunch of girls wanted to go to a hip hop
Speaker:dance class and back in high school I used to do
Speaker:dancing like on the drill team and stuff.
Speaker:I loved it.
Speaker:I did a ton of dancing like in my college years.
Speaker:And then I got to this point where I like,
Speaker:I still want to dance but I feel like middle aged
Speaker:and I feel like I don't move the way I used
Speaker:to and I look like a 48 year old woman instead
Speaker:of a teenager.
Speaker:And so I've gotten like so far away from dancing that
Speaker:when a bunch of girls in my mastermind wanted to go
Speaker:to my hip hop dance class,
Speaker:I literally freaked out and they were like,
Speaker:Jen, come on.
Speaker:And I'm like,
Speaker:I can't do it.
Speaker:Like I literally can't dance in front of a room of
Speaker:people. And so Susan was so precious.
Speaker:She's like,
Speaker:help me understand how you can write a book and put
Speaker:it out into the world.
Speaker:And yet you could not get like you freak out over
Speaker:a dance class and isn't that funny?
Speaker:Like the things that terrify us and the things that we
Speaker:allow to have control.
Speaker:I eventually did go to the hip hop dance class with
Speaker:them in the spring time,
Speaker:but gosh,
Speaker:it just,
Speaker:it's so interesting to me how all of us have things
Speaker:that we're scared of and that we're scared to do and
Speaker:they kind of rear their heads at the oddest moments.
Speaker:It's true.
Speaker:Why does that happen?
Speaker:I'm not,
Speaker:but I think you know,
Speaker:if there was only a way that we could,
Speaker:when we're in that moment,
Speaker:remember, okay,
Speaker:two months from now this isn't going to matter or everybody
Speaker:else in that hip hop class is going to be feeling
Speaker:the same way or won't it be great when I'm doing
Speaker:videos on tick tock Jenner.
Speaker:Okay. My 12 year old daughter,
Speaker:she keeps asking me to tick tock whether I think one
Speaker:of these days I'm going to have to,
Speaker:I've done a couple with her but we haven't like published
Speaker:them or she's put them on her account instead of mine.
Speaker:But anyway.
Speaker:Yeah. I'm like,
Speaker:gosh, I'm probably gonna.
Speaker:It's so funny,
Speaker:like God's had me in this.
Speaker:It's been eight years now that I keep having different things
Speaker:put in front of me that I want to do,
Speaker:but then I'm scared to do and then I have to
Speaker:muster up the courage to do,
Speaker:and courage by the way,
Speaker:is different than confidence.
Speaker:I have that whole conversation in the book because we're never
Speaker:confident in the beginning.
Speaker:We can't be confident about something we've never done before,
Speaker:and so like right now it's so funny,
Speaker:the hip hop dance thing and the tic TAC,
Speaker:that is totally like something that I keep looking at thinking,
Speaker:why am I so nervous about doing this?
Speaker:It's dumb.
Speaker:It's dancing,
Speaker:dancing. I know,
Speaker:but you feel vulnerable for sure.
Speaker:A hundred percent and if you in the past,
Speaker:because like you,
Speaker:I was in cheerleading and dance and gymnastics and all of
Speaker:that, I would no sooner do some of those moves now.
Speaker:Not a chance.
Speaker:Right. But I want to get back to this point because
Speaker:I want everyone,
Speaker:first of all to really be listening to what Jennifer's saying
Speaker:and get the book because it's really going to help you.
Speaker:But I also want them to take away something that we're
Speaker:talking about right here and we've already given people some good
Speaker:things to think about.
Speaker:But one of the things you talked about,
Speaker:and I'm going to relate this to your hip hop,
Speaker:is you're talking about being confident or having courage and you
Speaker:talk in the book about sometimes the lack of confidence is
Speaker:really the lack of,
Speaker:because when You have the experience,
Speaker:you'll feel more confident.
Speaker:Yep. That's a hundred percent then I relate it to like
Speaker:when each of our kiddos learn how to walk.
Speaker:Like I couldn't expect them to be confident about walking and
Speaker:when they started to walk,
Speaker:like how would they ever feel confident about something that they
Speaker:have never done before?
Speaker:Right. And I think about how like our son's getting ready
Speaker:to go to college or how our daughter we're adopting,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:we should the first day of kindergarten this year and she
Speaker:was so nervous and like there's no way I could look
Speaker:at her and expect her to be confident.
Speaker:She never by the kindergarten.
Speaker:This is all new.
Speaker:And so I think that so many women are waiting to
Speaker:do things until they feel confident.
Speaker:But the truth is they need courage and confidence may or
Speaker:may not come afterwards.
Speaker:And I talk a lot.
Speaker:I have a whole chapter in the book where I talk
Speaker:about how God used the triathlon for my 40th birthday to
Speaker:kind of demonstrate this to me over and over.
Speaker:I've done 10 triathlons in the last eight years and I've
Speaker:had a panic attack in the water on every single triathlon
Speaker:because I had to learn how to swim as an adult.
Speaker:As a 39 year old woman,
Speaker:I started taking swim lessons.
Speaker:I had never put my head under water on purpose.
Speaker:And so I'm still not a confident swimmer,
Speaker:but I am confident that I'm not going to die.
Speaker:And the truth is I just keep being courageous and just
Speaker:keep signing up for another triathlon.
Speaker:I didn't go for another triathlon.
Speaker:So there's such a huge difference between courage and confidence.
Speaker:And it saddens me when I see confidence being sold to
Speaker:people because you can't buy it.
Speaker:Like you can't manifest it,
Speaker:you can't buy it.
Speaker:You can't Cray it into existence.
Speaker:Confidence only comes from doing things that you're scared to do
Speaker:and realizing,
Speaker:Oh my gosh,
Speaker:it did not kill me.
Speaker:Proving to yourself that you can do it.
Speaker:Exactly. You need that evidence to yourself that you can do
Speaker:hard things and still make it.
Speaker:And that's how you will eventually perhaps maybe walk around a
Speaker:little more competently,
Speaker:but not all the time.
Speaker:I think confidence is such a weird thing and I see
Speaker:it being marketed and sold and packaged up and put in
Speaker:books and courses and classes and the bottom line is you've
Speaker:just got to do the thing over and over without confidence
Speaker:in the beginning.
Speaker:You just need courage.
Speaker:And hopefully competence will come.
Speaker:We're going to continue talking about competence and doing the things
Speaker:that you're scared to do right after a quick word from
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Speaker:Part of the conversation about confidence right now is going live
Speaker:on call it Instagram,
Speaker:Facebook, you know,
Speaker:wherever you know it's like the Mel Robbins five,
Speaker:four, three,
Speaker:two one push the start button.
Speaker:Just start talking,
Speaker:right? Yeah.
Speaker:Well and right now,
Speaker:I mean and you know this is what I actually coach
Speaker:women in is like how to build a business in the
Speaker:online space using social media.
Speaker:And I was just telling someone else this morning,
Speaker:right now where we're in the middle of the world looking
Speaker:a little different,
Speaker:a lot different than than a month ago.
Speaker:People are craving live interaction so much and then we can't
Speaker:meet face to face.
Speaker:But the best thing you can do is try to meet
Speaker:people in the online space with video and the Instagram stories
Speaker:or I think the blacks cause we're craving like eye contact.
Speaker:We're crazy being seen and seeing others and so it's such
Speaker:a great time to be using live video.
Speaker:Absolutely agree with you.
Speaker:And you come as you are.
Speaker:You be who you are.
Speaker:You're not trying to replicate anybody else.
Speaker:But the point that we're talking about here is just to
Speaker:have the courage to do it.
Speaker:And you said earlier,
Speaker:Jennifer is like,
Speaker:think of the other person that you're helping.
Speaker:Don't put the eyes on yourself.
Speaker:Put the eyes on your audience,
Speaker:that one person in the audience and who you're helping.
Speaker:Yes, exactly.
Speaker:A hundred percent if when you quit thinking just only about
Speaker:yourself, it really puts things in a different perspective and I
Speaker:think that when we're completely me focused me,
Speaker:focused me,
Speaker:focus, the confidence thing becomes a bigger deal.
Speaker:But when we are looking at everybody else,
Speaker:then we're able to more lean into our courage because I've
Speaker:got four kids in this house who are watching mom.
Speaker:They need mom to be courageous because who's going to teach
Speaker:them that?
Speaker:Social media follow you on half a million people watching me.
Speaker:I don't need to be confident,
Speaker:but I do need to be courageous and show up for
Speaker:them too.
Speaker:So yeah,
Speaker:I'm all about living with courage and confidence.
Speaker:It may or may not show up.
Speaker:You say something else in your book that I won't challenge
Speaker:you because I totally agree with,
Speaker:but I think that there will be people who will have
Speaker:to go back and read it again.
Speaker:And that is,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:you talk about,
Speaker:and I see this also is that people aren't,
Speaker:because I work with people to help them turn their hobby
Speaker:or their craft into a business and then you're focusing specifically
Speaker:online growing the business,
Speaker:like all of that.
Speaker:But I see resistance so much when people are saying,
Speaker:yeah, but my kids are still young yet I'm not quite
Speaker:ready. And I kind of feel like that's just okay,
Speaker:I'm going to dip my toe in.
Speaker:But I have a great excuse if I can't do it
Speaker:right now because my kids are still too young.
Speaker:So it's either the time or the attention and we all
Speaker:know my kids are grown now,
Speaker:so I'm a little farther along with it than you are.
Speaker:But what you talk about is your children have to see
Speaker:that you care about other things in addition to them.
Speaker:It's not always about them.
Speaker:Yeah, it can't be.
Speaker:If your kids think that life completely revolves around them,
Speaker:that your life revolves all around them and serving them.
Speaker:I mean imagine when they get out into the real world
Speaker:someday and the disservice you'd have just done that.
Speaker:And I tried to really remind women,
Speaker:you were someone before you were someone's mom and before you
Speaker:were someone's wife,
Speaker:I guess we were supposed to serve our families.
Speaker:And you know that I love the Lord with all my
Speaker:heart. It,
Speaker:it is biblical to serve your family,
Speaker:to serve your and all of that.
Speaker:And yet God has a call on your life too.
Speaker:And so sometimes that may look like,
Speaker:like I shutter to think that I,
Speaker:cause I raised all three kids,
Speaker:I stayed home full time with them and started my business
Speaker:from home and wasn't changing diapers and faxing over invoices at
Speaker:the same time.
Speaker:So I know all about raising my kids while I'm building
Speaker:a business.
Speaker:It pains me when I see women say that they can't
Speaker:and they blame it on the kids.
Speaker:And I still often wonder is it really that you can't
Speaker:or is it just a way to self protect isn't a
Speaker:way for you to just keep putting off the thing that
Speaker:you really want to do because it's easier to say I
Speaker:don't have the time or I can't make the time right
Speaker:now. Then to actually start doing it and see if it
Speaker:would actually work.
Speaker:Most of the time it's a self protection thing and I
Speaker:really challenge women to think too like who is going to
Speaker:teach your kids what it looks like to be courageous and
Speaker:to live for something bigger than themselves.
Speaker:If all they see is you living for them,
Speaker:like you have to demonstrate for them.
Speaker:The schools teach our kids algebra and Spanish classes and go
Speaker:to church on the weekends and they're getting taught by the
Speaker:children's pastor there and who's teaching our kids courage.
Speaker:That has to be us as parents.
Speaker:It has to be.
Speaker:Yeah, and to think for themselves because there may be a
Speaker:time when you're not going to be there,
Speaker:right. The second a soccer game starts or you know,
Speaker:whatever the activities are,
Speaker:but you're on your way and there are times they have
Speaker:to think for themselves,
Speaker:I've got to get my uniform on right.
Speaker:Or whatever the issues are.
Speaker:You can't always necessarily be there.
Speaker:And you hear about the helicopter
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker:I don't think that served people well.
Speaker:We don't give our children enough credit.
Speaker:Yeah. We don't let them show themselves that they can do
Speaker:it. And my kids can figure out how to make videos
Speaker:on tic-tac.
Speaker:They can sure figure out how to come off the floor.
Speaker:There you go.
Speaker:And so did you always feel that way or did you
Speaker:have to come to this way of thinking as you started
Speaker:your business while you were home and your kids were home
Speaker:too? Well,
Speaker:I think that as I've grown as a business owner and
Speaker:grown as a thought leader,
Speaker:then I sit and think a lot about what I think.
Speaker:And then I've noticed more too,
Speaker:just how other ways of thinking.
Speaker:Like sometimes I think you can kind of figure out what
Speaker:you're calling.
Speaker:Maybe I also figured out the things that really like cause
Speaker:you like so much irritation and you're like,
Speaker:Oh my gosh,
Speaker:that just makes me so mad when I see people doing
Speaker:XYZ. So I think I'm just really trying to lean more
Speaker:into that.
Speaker:I always knew that I wanted to be home full time
Speaker:with my kids.
Speaker:If I had started my teen business right before we got
Speaker:pregnant with our oldest son Noah.
Speaker:And so then they were like making money and I and
Speaker:the business was doing well and I'm like,
Speaker:well I don't want to just close it down.
Speaker:Like how can I figure it out and how can I
Speaker:figure out a way where I can still make this income
Speaker:but still be able to be home full time with Noah
Speaker:if I kept having more kids right in a row after
Speaker:that. And so I think that I've always been somebody who
Speaker:just, I'm scrappy enough to try to figure it out.
Speaker:Tips for anyone.
Speaker:We're talking about the confidence and the courage and that you
Speaker:just have to get started.
Speaker:Any tips for People who are listening here are right at
Speaker:the starting line of something and they just can't do it.
Speaker:They can't step over and get going.
Speaker:Sure. So I talk in the book about algebra.
Speaker:I talk about how often when I feel like I need
Speaker:to do something that's a big,
Speaker:hard and scary and it doesn't mean that that could be
Speaker:launching a book.
Speaker:That could be a hip hop class,
Speaker:right? Like what's big to me may not be big to
Speaker:you and vice versa.
Speaker:And so when I'm thinking,
Speaker:okay, that's just something I want to do or I feel
Speaker:like I'm supposed to be doing,
Speaker:but I'm scared to do it,
Speaker:you have to figure out what is your own personal algebra
Speaker:problem. When I walk this through,
Speaker:I can't remember which chapter it is,
Speaker:but I walk it through in one of the chapters,
Speaker:if you're not the boss of you.
Speaker:So for me,
Speaker:basically my algebra problem is this.
Speaker:I have to figure out what is on the other side
Speaker:of that greater than sign that we used to do that
Speaker:in sixth grade.
Speaker:Algebra like four is greater than 200 to the 90 and
Speaker:so for me,
Speaker:what is greater than fear?
Speaker:So you have to figure out the things in your life
Speaker:that are more important than your feelings of fear.
Speaker:So for me,
Speaker:number one has got,
Speaker:so if I feel like God's allowing me to do something,
Speaker:like my answer needs to be yes,
Speaker:even though I'm scared.
Speaker:Number two,
Speaker:it's my family.
Speaker:I have a husband and children who need for mom to
Speaker:really show up and because they're watching and more with our
Speaker:kids is caught than taught.
Speaker:So I can be teaching my kids and talking to them
Speaker:all day long about courage,
Speaker:being brave and putting out for the soccer team and try
Speaker:out for the play or whatever.
Speaker:But if they don't see mom like demonstrating that in real
Speaker:life, like then it's just all hypocrisy and words.
Speaker:And the last thing is showing up for our community.
Speaker:So I think we all have people that are watching,
Speaker:whether it's the neighbor girl or the woman at the grocery
Speaker:store. If we ever get to go back to grocery stores
Speaker:or like I have a half a million social media at
Speaker:the answer,
Speaker:I have a responsibility,
Speaker:a responsibility to show up for those people and the people
Speaker:who call me mom and my husband who calls me white.
Speaker:And so whenever I have something big,
Speaker:hard and scary right in front of me and I'm like,
Speaker:I just can't,
Speaker:like, it feels too big.
Speaker:Then I'm like,
Speaker:okay, but this guy calling me to it because my family
Speaker:need this from me or does my community need this for
Speaker:me? And a lot of times that will spur me into
Speaker:action when I take the focus off of myself and realize
Speaker:that I have to live or things outside of just me.
Speaker:This was a big point that I really never thought about
Speaker:before reading the book.
Speaker:I mean I always think of my audience,
Speaker:the people who are listening to me for business,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:for some type of business purpose,
Speaker:but not really the fact that the other people that you
Speaker:interact with.
Speaker:And I'll tell you like my friends,
Speaker:some of the other people in the clubs that I'm part
Speaker:of are watching what I'm doing.
Speaker:They're never going to start their own businesses,
Speaker:but I'm modeling things for them.
Speaker:That may be they'll start other things maybe that like I
Speaker:have a friend who just started second city because she thought
Speaker:it would be fun to act when she has the courage
Speaker:for that.
Speaker:So it's not all about business always.
Speaker:It's about building a richer life and not at the end
Speaker:saying, man,
Speaker:I wish I would have done something like this.
Speaker:You A hundred percent yes and I talk about that like
Speaker:if people are watching you and if they can watch you
Speaker:slay your own dragons,
Speaker:it gives them like this permission and this little bit of
Speaker:courage try to go slay the wrong and that could be
Speaker:like exactly what you said,
Speaker:building a business.
Speaker:It could be adopting a child,
Speaker:starting their family that way.
Speaker:It could be switching jobs like whatever it is for them,
Speaker:but when people see you do big,
Speaker:hard and scary things and they see you do it afraid,
Speaker:it means so much more courageous to do that in their
Speaker:own life.
Speaker:Absolutely, and I think it's also not always that they see
Speaker:us do it and we're successful because that could even make
Speaker:them more scared.
Speaker:Right. They see that maybe we stumble a little bit and
Speaker:we keep going and maybe it's a different version of what
Speaker:we initially intended,
Speaker:but we did it by,
Speaker:gosh, how was that?
Speaker:I agree with that.
Speaker:Well, I know your time is limited.
Speaker:You probably have like a million interviews you're doing for this
Speaker:book. You have a lot,
Speaker:but it's great.
Speaker:I love being here.
Speaker:I really do.
Speaker:Well and I'm glad you are because I'm glad the message
Speaker:is getting out.
Speaker:Please share with everybody like in a sentence or two yours
Speaker:synopsis of what the people are going to get from your
Speaker:book. Yeah,
Speaker:so many people have described it exactly like I hope it's
Speaker:like getting a big hug from a friend who says you
Speaker:can do it,
Speaker:girl, but you're also getting a Swift kick in the pants
Speaker:and like being told not to get out there and go.
Speaker:And so if you're somebody who has stuck,
Speaker:overwhelmed or have been really just trapped with fear,
Speaker:it's a book that's going to,
Speaker:I think,
Speaker:give you the courage to get after the thing in life
Speaker:that you're really wanting.
Speaker:Beautiful. And we can find it on Amazon.
Speaker:I know it's hard back.
Speaker:Is it other versions as well?
Speaker:It's on audible and I read it myself,
Speaker:so it's on audible.
Speaker:It's on Kindle.
Speaker:You can find it@walmart.com
Speaker:target.com we're praying that we're going to get it into the
Speaker:actual physical stores,
Speaker:but it is on books,
Speaker:a million Barnes and noble and Amazon.
Speaker:Wonderful. Well thank you so much for being here.
Speaker:I so appreciated gift biz listeners.
Speaker:I highly recommend this book.
Speaker:I know it will do so much and open your eyes
Speaker:in so many different ways.
Speaker:For a lot of you who I've been interacting with,
Speaker:so get Jennifer's book,
Speaker:make, do a review on Amazon for her.
Speaker:That always helps.
Speaker:We'd like to help you get into Barnes and noble or
Speaker:wherever you're wanting to go.
Speaker:Maybe it's the airport bookstores,
Speaker:I don't know,
Speaker:but I'm pretty sure we're going to see it there.
Speaker:Jennifer, From your lips to God's ears,
Speaker:so thank you for that.
Speaker:I appreciate it.
Speaker:Oh, well thank you so much for being here today and
Speaker:sharing some of your book.
Speaker:Take care of it.
Speaker:What better time than now to head over to Amazon and
Speaker:grab Jennifer's book.
Speaker:I know it will serve you well and if you take
Speaker:her guidance to heart,
Speaker:you'll emerge from our quarantine with a new approach.
Speaker:It's exciting to think of what that's going to be next
Speaker:week. We're tackling the topic of organizing.
Speaker:I've watched all of you arrange your work rooms,
Speaker:redo your websites,
Speaker:and organize your closets and kitchens.
Speaker:Now we'll take it to another level.
Speaker:See what I mean when you listen in next week.
Speaker:Oh, and one more thing.
Speaker:Would you do me a favor and leave a review for
Speaker:the show?
Speaker:I've made it super easy for you to do so.
Speaker:Just head over to rate this podcast.com
Speaker:forward slash gift biz unwrapped and there you'll see a direct
Speaker:link. Not sure what to write.
Speaker:I'd love to know something you've learned from the show or
Speaker:a favorite episode that really resonated with you.
Speaker:I know when I leave a review,
Speaker:that's where I get stuck.
Speaker:What do I say?
Speaker:So there you go.
Speaker:I've given you some ideas once again.
Speaker:No, how much I appreciate you being here and I can't
Speaker:wait to be together again next week for now.
Speaker:Stay safe and be well.
Speaker:I want to make sure you're familiar with my free Facebook
Speaker:group called gift is breeze.
Speaker:It's a place where we all gather and our community to
Speaker:support each other.
Speaker:Got a really fun post in there.
Speaker:That's my favorite of the week.
Speaker:I have to say where I invite all of you to
Speaker:share what you're doing,
Speaker:to show pictures of your product,
Speaker:to show what you're working on for the week,
Speaker:to get reaction from other people and just for fun because
Speaker:we all get to see the wonderful products that everybody in
Speaker:the community is making.
Speaker:My favorite post every single week without doubt,
Speaker:wait, what aren't you part of the group already?
Speaker:If not,
Speaker:make sure to jump over to Facebook and search for the
Speaker:group gift biz breeze.
Speaker:Don't delay.
