There is no doubt that we live in a society that is broken. Broken politically. Broken culturally. Broken socially. In fact, the number of single parent households today exceeds anything that, even just one generation ago, could never have imagined.
When I grew up, traditional marriages were the norm. Where the father was the “spiritual leader of the house,” so to speak. When someone in town heard of a marriage ending in divorce, it was tragic. It was unusual. It was something that people would talk about for months! Simply because it was not normal.
Not so anymore. In fact, the number of marriages that end up in divorce almost match the number that don’t. It should not be that way – but it is.
As tragic as those numbers appear to be, there is also a hidden number that is sometimes forgotten. That of the children. Some children appear, on the surface, to do ok. But under that hardened shell, it’s just not so.
Some children are hurt physically. But almost every single one of them is hurt emotionally. I know. My father was married four times while I was growing up. My mother died when she was just 19 years old and I was only 18 months old. Thank God for loving grandparents. I was basically raised by them. But, every time my father would remarry, I would go back to live with him and my “new mom.” Then, a few years later, I’d be sent back to my grandparent's house as the marriage ended in divorce and almost every single time, my father would end up in prison for one reason or another.
I’m not sharing that information for sympathy. But to emphasize that these things happen even more so today than they did when I was growing up.
It just so happened that my situation involved the death of a parent in addition to the numerous divorces. I believe that is one of the main reasons I’ve been married for almost 45 years to my wonderful wife. I know, first hand, the devasting effect of what divorce can do to children and made every effort to ensure my kids never had to face that.
But children that are facing these things also miss out on the blessing a father can have on their lives. And sometimes, that blessing the difference in, well, just about everything.
My guest today also comes from a tragic background of knowing what the fear of abandonment and rejection is all about. Ray Hurst grew up without the leadership of the father in the house. He struggled, almost his entire life, not believing he was worthy or loved.
These struggles took him through, not one, but TWO devastating, life changing depressions. He’s gone bankrupt, losing his business and home – and almost lost his life.
After facing the second battle with depression, something significant happened that changed his trajectory in life. He realized there were so many other people out there that felt just like him.
He began assisting others as they faced their own hurts and fought their own battles to overcome the pain of rejection and abandonment. This ultimately gave Ray Hurst a sense of purpose. He now had a new calling in life – to reach out others in this world and help them to feel loved and wanted again.
His saying is he “will be to the world what the world wan to him when he needed them.”
He has written a book titled, “Daddy, Why Don’t You Love Me? – A Father’s Blessing to Son/Daughter, Healing the Wounds of the Absent and Abusive Father.”
First question, other than that brief information I just shared, can you tell us in your own words, “Who is Papa Ray Hurst?”
How did this fear of abandonment, basically, develop to the point it became rooted in your mind to the point it caused all of these problems to manifest?
When did you realize the root cause of all your problems went back to what you went through as a child?
Ray explains, what he calls, the “Mechanics of Emotions.” What is that and why is it important?
Ray explains, what he calls, the “Genesis 3:16 model.”
Tell us what happened in 2004 that changed your perspective on your calling in this area of “standing in as a father figure?”
How did you begin the process of walking in this special, unique calling God has now developed in you? I don’t think there are any classes on this in Seminary or Bible Schools…
I urge you to order a copy of Papa Ray Hurst’s book, “Daddy, Why Don’t You Love Me? – A Father’s Blessing to Son/Daughter, Healing the Wounds of the Absent and Abusive Father.”
Just go down into the show notes and click the links there. Get in touch with Papa Ray and see if he can help YOU to overcome these long held, deep rooted feelings. Amen!