Missional communities should be an extension of our own family life patterns and missional rhythms. Like our master, Jesus, we must lead with our lives–not just our words. Our own family on mission is at the center of everything we do and what we build. 

In this episode, you'll hear from a beautiful couple as we talk about how they’ve successfully integrated all of family life, work, and ministry into a natural lifestyle of disciple-making in community. I could not think of anyone better to illustrate the fun, the woes, the joy and the triumphs of living as a family on mission. In This Episode You’ll Learn:

• How John and Alison started living this way as a family.
• How their unique gifts both conflict and lead them forward on mission.
• Some of the challenges that come up for them and their kids.
• How normal this lifestyle now feels and the joy they experience.

Get started here… From this episode: "Everyone gets to do mission in ways that fit their unique family rhythms. There is not one perfect way to do this, and God is not up in heaven keeping track of your schedule and making sure you’re busy enough. You get to pray for his leading on how to better intentionalize life on mission for your family. I promise if you ask him, “What’s next, Lord?” he will tell you. Then just do that and ask him again."

Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.

Download today’s BIG 3 right now. Read and think over them again later. You might even want to share them with others…

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Join us on Facebook and take part in the discussion! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of this page or right below. Also, please subscribe and leave an honest review for The Everyday Disciple Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.   Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Coaching with Caesar and Tina in discipleship and missional living. Discipleship and Missional Resources Missio Publishing  

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:01

We're not hiding the fact that we're real and we disagree, and sometimes we don't have our best attitude going forward or believe in the truth, so we might as well finish this in front of you, however that's gonna go right.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:12

You know, and we've had times exactly like that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:15

And we've had times too where like people could just kinda read the room like myself or someone else was like, you know, not in a great mood or whatever, which, you know, that's normal.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:23

We're not all.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:24

Having the best day.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:25

But we've had times where people say, Hey brother, you were just kinda speaking to Tina really short last night.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:30

Like, what's you guys Okay?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:31

Was it just having a bad day?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:33

Were you, you guys?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:33

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:34

You know, and they would check in.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:35

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:35

And I would say, thanks for bringing that up.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:37

And I'm, I'm sorry, you know, in a way that you saw that, but I'm glad you did cuz you got to check my heart.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:41

And I know that freaks people out, but that's.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:00:43

Part of like, I want the Gospel I need, we need the Gospel being applied in real time like that.

Announcer: 00:01:01

Welcome to the Everyday Disciple Podcast, where you'll learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.

Announcer: 00:01:09

In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle.

Announcer: 00:01:11

This is the stuff your parents, pastors and seminary professors probably forgot to tell you.

Announcer: 00:01:16

And now here's your host, Caesar Kalinowski.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:01:19

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:01:20

How's it going This week I am feeling like the luckiest boy in the world.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:01:25

I needed to get a little bit of writing done.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:01:27

I'm working on a few projects that I'm pretty excited about, both some resources and new books and, uh, I got to fly down here.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:01:34

Florida kind of on the Mediterranean, sort of Gulf side of life.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:01:39

That's what I think.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:01:40

It's like the Mediterranean to me.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:01:41

And so that's where I'm getting to do this, and that's where I'm recording this podcast from this week.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:01:45

I'll tell you what, someone's gotta live this rough life in the Kingdom, and this week it's me.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:01:50

I'm just really putting it in there for you.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:01:53

Anyway, I'm excited about it.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:01:55

I'm really having a blast and feeling blessed, and I'm excited for the projects that are getting finished up.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:01

I'll just quickly tell you a little bit about 'em.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:02

I'll just tease you a little.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:04

I'm rewriting the story formed way our, our Story of God materials.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:08

Not completely just sort of giving 'em a freshen up, making sure that they're as fluent as possible in the dialogue parts and all that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:15

So that's getting finished up this week.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:17

I'm also finishing up a book on how we do cigars and theology.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:21

Kind of looking for a name for that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:22

By the way.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:23

They kind of work out the whole process for exactly how when we get guys together.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:28

You don't have to have cigars or any of that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:31

Call it that here and, and we, how do we walk through any.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:35

And discuss how the Gospel speaks into it.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:38

It's powerful.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:38

It's really cool.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:39

I've actually done some training on this before and, uh, anyway, I'm finally putting out, uh, a little guide, a little book so others can do it as well.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:47

Trying to figure out what to call that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:50

If you wanna hop into the Facebook group this week and let me know, that'd be.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:53

Awesome.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:02:54

I got a couple other tricks up my sleeve I'm working on as well, but all those resources are gonna be available@missiopublishing.com.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:00

That's publisher we work with and they kinda help support the Everyday Disciple Podcast.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:05

So I hope that you'll jump in there and support them and check out these resources.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:10

But again, if you've got an idea for what I could call this cigars and theology book, I didn't wanna call it just that because it's so much more.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:18

And I have a few ideas, but just hop into the Facebook group for everyday Disciple.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:22

Just gimme your ideas.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:24

I'd love to hear them.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:25

Alright, now, if you've not subscribed to the show, would you do that?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:29

Wherever you listen to podcast, if they'll let you.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:31

And if you're an Apple user doing that on an Apple device, it's real easy to do.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:36

It'll take you a whole 30 seconds and I would really appreciate it.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:39

And I love to read your review when it comes in.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:42

So if you'd stop for just a second, head on over.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:44

Leave a review, few stars, whatever you feel makes sense.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:48

It would be an encouragement to me and it'll help encourage others as well when they're looking for cool podcasts and helping making disciples.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:03:55

Alright, now as we get started, I wanna invite you to join me and my wife Tina, in our everyday Disciple makers coaching experience, cuz we wanna personally help you live a life of spiritual freedom that's released.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:04:09

A type of Christianity that many of us grew up with that's really more behavioral modification and sin management.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:04:16

While we wait for Jesus to get back, no one needs that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:04:18

And so we want to help you set up a lifestyle of that in a full framework where you can experience relational peace with others and be set free to be and see the relationships in your life healed and natural.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:04:31

Sharing the Gospel with others as you Disciple them from unbelief to belief.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:04:35

Wanna give you a full framework for discipleship that fits everyday life, starting with yours, and then others that you lead either in community.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:04:42

Or if you lead, you wanna lead your whole church this way.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:04:45

No more guessing than what to do or how to lead others to make disciples.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:04:48

We have done this in every imaginable context, and we have all the resources and tools and the coaching to help you do that so you don't have to guess at it or go it alone.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:04:57

Now, Tina and I coaches a couple, and this coaching experience will help you and your spouse get on the same page spiritually and missionally.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:05:06

More than ever we hear that from the people we.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:05:09

All the time and it, it really is true.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:05:11

When we feel very close with these couples, they really become family with us, and it's a privilege to get to coach as a couple and coach couples on mission.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:05:19

Now you're gonna grow in the ability to see and speak and experience the Gospel in all the normal stuff of life.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:05:25

It's what we call gospel fluency.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:05:26

Talk about it all the time here on the podcast.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:05:29

Now, we opened up this new coaching for registration last month, but we had to close it down for a while as.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:05:35

Got everybody started, all the people that signed up.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:05:37

Whole bunch of new couples.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:05:38

But now for a short period here, we're reopening registration cause we have a few spaces so we can put a few more couples into the coaching with us.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:05:46

You ready to get started?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:05:48

Well, if so, join me on a discovery call so I can get to know a bit of your story and your Disciple making journey so far, and tell you a little bit about this coaching and see if it's a good fit for you.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:05:59

What do you say?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:06:00

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:06:00

There's a link to my personal calendar that I can give you, and all you have to do is go to everyday Disciple dot com slash discovery.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:06:10

Everyday Disciple dot com slash discovery and you can pick a time on my calendar that works for you.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:06:15

All right, look forward to seeing you and hopefully we can get going on this journey together.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:06:21

Now, today you are gonna hear from some of my favorite people as we talk about how they've successfully integrated all of their family life and work and ministry into a natural lifestyle of Disciple making in.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:06:35

I really could not think of anyone better to illustrate the fun and the woes and the joy and the triumphs and all of that of living as a family on mission.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:06:44

I think you're really gonna enjoy this and you're gonna be encouraged.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:06:48

I know it.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:06:48

Notice how normal all of this sounds, the way they live.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:06:52

It's so normal, and yet what God is doing in their lives is way beyond normal.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:06:57

So let me go ahead and bring them on and I'll introduce them to you.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:07:02

Hey guys, how's it going?

John LaFevers: 00:07:05

Hi.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:07:06

Good to see you again.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:07:07

I get to see you quite often, obviously through coaching and other things.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:07:10

So just to kinda set the table a little bit, just give folks the basics of who you are, how long you've been married, your kids, their ages, all that kind of stuff, just so they kind get an idea.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:07:20

Sure.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:21

And so we're, this is John and I'm here.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:24

Alison, we talked about this recently.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:26

We really consider ourselves Disciple makers first, and some of the ways that we do that is through our marriage.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:32

We've been.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:34

Almost 14 years.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:35

Thank you.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:36

Almost 14 years.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:38

We have two boys, fourth grade and second grade.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:42

They're almost 10 and eight coming up this spring.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:46

Um, we're also both teachers.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:48

Two, we teach in the community where we live.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:50

John right now teaches seventh grade middle school.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:54

Very scary.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:55

and I'm special education teacher.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:58

Wow.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:58

So those are some of the things.

Alison LaFevers: 00:07:59

John also coaches basketball, so we've really leaned into, connecting with the girls on his basketball team.

John LaFevers: 00:08:05

I serve as an elder also with the local church family.

John LaFevers: 00:08:08

Uh, talking about things being normal, that's a big, uh, normal part of our life.

John LaFevers: 00:08:13

Uh, awesome.

John LaFevers: 00:08:14

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:08:14

Yes.

John LaFevers: 00:08:15

Good to know.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:08:15

And you, were you on staff at that church?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:08:17

I know you used to be official vocation.

John LaFevers: 00:08:19

No, I wasn't.

John LaFevers: 00:08:19

I was with the same denomination as, as them.

John LaFevers: 00:08:23

And so, um, we've known each other, you know, for a while, been connected with them, but I was not on staff with them.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:08:28

Gotcha.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:08:30

Well, tell us a little bit about when was the first time the two of you sort of got hip to this idea of life and a Missional Community and making disciples that way as a family with other families and all.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:08:41

When, when did that first, when was your first try at that?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:08:44

You know, when did that start?

John LaFevers: 00:08:46

So that's actually really a long story, but I'm gonna try to keep it brief when we were in college.

John LaFevers: 00:08:51

Well, I think it's a great example that how normal it is.

John LaFevers: 00:08:53

When we were in college, I'd never heard the strays, Missional, Community or anything even remotely like that ever.

John LaFevers: 00:08:58

But just what the Holy Spirit did.

John LaFevers: 00:09:00

He brought together a group, especially of nine.

John LaFevers: 00:09:03

People that were all in college together and there's some other peripheral, but like nine kind of core people and we shared life together.

John LaFevers: 00:09:10

Uh, I mean all the time.

John LaFevers: 00:09:12

I mean, it was incredible.

John LaFevers: 00:09:13

And the Lord led us to some opportunity.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:09:15

Didn't have kids yet.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:09:16

They didn't, did anybody else have kids?

John LaFevers: 00:09:18

Uh, no.

John LaFevers: 00:09:19

Just college students.

John LaFevers: 00:09:20

Freedom.

John LaFevers: 00:09:21

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:09:21

Yeah, absolutely.

John LaFevers: 00:09:22

Yes.

John LaFevers: 00:09:22

But at the same time, I mean, so many people said like, we've never seen anybody.

John LaFevers: 00:09:26

Doing what you guys are doing.

John LaFevers: 00:09:27

I mean, to us it wasn't weird, it was just the Lord was just leading.

John LaFevers: 00:09:30

I mean, you know, we hadn't learned what's next, Lord or any of this stuff.

John LaFevers: 00:09:33

It was just happening.

John LaFevers: 00:09:34

The Spirit was just doing it.

John LaFevers: 00:09:36

And, uh, it was crazy.

John LaFevers: 00:09:37

When I first heard about the phrase Missional communities was, uh, I, I worked with a denomination called the Christian Missionary Alliance, uh, as a church planter.

John LaFevers: 00:09:46

So I got some training with them and I was actually connected with a guy named Reggie Screen who knew a guy named Mike Breen, who, you know, Caesar that with 3dm.

John LaFevers: 00:09:56

And so I got some, some introduction and trading to this idea of missional communities, and that's when it hit me like, whoa, this was what God did with those people in college.

John LaFevers: 00:10:06

Like we had no names for it or anything.

John LaFevers: 00:10:08

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:10:08

But that's exactly what was happening.

John LaFevers: 00:10:10

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:10:10

And so that was really helpful.

John LaFevers: 00:10:11

And it was helpful to put some names and some sort of intentionality to things that were just happening organically because once we got married and we had kids and all that, it took more intentionality than in college when we had all that.

John LaFevers: 00:10:23

freedom

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:10:24

And you know what I, I totally get that because I know for us before that term, Missional Community is relatively newer per se, and people call it all kinds of things, and that's fine, whatever.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:10:34

But I remember as we really got deeper into this in the early Soma years and started really multiplying and quantifying the teachings and all, we realized, hey, we've been doing a whole lot of this stuff intuitively as we read the book of Acts and didn't know what else to.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:10:47

And lived as missionaries, but we didn't know what to call it and we had a lot of holes in the program and it didn't, you know, always go well.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:10:53

So, um, so how, how about like now as a married couple and family, tell us a little about your first attempt or, or is it right now the community you have right now?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:11:02

Is this your first Missional Community?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:11:04

I know it's been going on a while, or did you have one prior in, in different things?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:11:08

This is our,

Alison LaFevers: 00:11:09

um, like third.

Alison LaFevers: 00:11:11

Uh, round, I would say.

Alison LaFevers: 00:11:13

Um, we tried, we had a pilot group that we called it, um, and it was actually really beautiful what the lord was working, um, in everybody.

Alison LaFevers: 00:11:22

And I said, this was like when we were in college with that group of people, it was wonderful.

Alison LaFevers: 00:11:27

Um, and then we multiplied, multiply and it had, and then there's always that kind of, um, growth, growing pains.

Alison LaFevers: 00:11:37

The second growth, oh, it's just not as good as the first group.

John LaFevers: 00:11:41

We love us.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:11:42

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:11:43

Right, right.

John LaFevers: 00:11:45

So that was, that was when, when I was pastoring is when this was happening, so right.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:11:50

How long ago were we talking?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:11:52

Oh,

John LaFevers: 00:11:52

goodness gracious.

John LaFevers: 00:11:53

I don't know when that started.

John LaFevers: 00:11:54

Probably June.

John LaFevers: 00:11:54

Our, our

Alison LaFevers: 00:11:55

youngest is about to turn eight.

Alison LaFevers: 00:11:56

So that seven years ago.

John LaFevers: 00:11:58

Yeah, probably seven-ish years ago.

John LaFevers: 00:12:00

And, uh, yeah, so it was hard because I was very much like a, I don't know, a program of the church, um, got, for lack of a better term.

John LaFevers: 00:12:08

And, uh, that first pilot group was all about it as a program and as long as we were hosting it at our house and everything, and it was on Tuesday night, you know, it was good.

John LaFevers: 00:12:17

And then as I grew in my own understanding and, and both of us, uh, well, part of the fall here is it was really just me at this point.

John LaFevers: 00:12:24

Um, Alison was just kind of along for the ride, which was a mistake.

John LaFevers: 00:12:27

Um, but then when it was like, okay, now we're expecting, uh, and I should did this a lot wrongfully, um, for you guys to do this in your own homes and stuff, that was like, whoa, that was too much, you know?

John LaFevers: 00:12:41

Uh, as long as it was us at our house, because that was the pastor.

John LaFevers: 00:12:43

Well, you, that's what pastor.

John LaFevers: 00:12:45

And then it got a lot harder.

John LaFevers: 00:12:47

Our second sort of iteration was a lot better as far as ownership and connection.

John LaFevers: 00:12:51

Um, and then a again, too much shoulding and too much doing and not enough being and all that.

John LaFevers: 00:12:57

And, uh, but that's okay.

John LaFevers: 00:12:59

God, you know, used that.

John LaFevers: 00:13:00

And there's people all over the world now that their lives were changed from that time with us together.

John LaFevers: 00:13:05

And uh, now in our third iteration, we are learning the slowest fast and small is big.

John LaFevers: 00:13:10

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:13:11

And you know, that's a pretty normal, I think, trajectory.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:13:14

Trying things out and they don't go a hundred percent perfect, but God still uses them.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:13:19

And we always, we're always trying to quantify how everybody else's lives were affected or changed by it.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:13:24

And yet God's like, but I love you as much.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:13:26

Just, just so you know, most of what's going on has a lot to do with what I'm doing in your life, you know, and, and yet God continues to glorify himself in ways that we would never expect as we're maturing.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:13:38

I know we had the same thing our first attempt at really, and I've, I've talked about it, written about our first attempt at really trying to take our.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:13:45

Church, small group, which was a program of the church, and really, and they were like our besties and they loved it.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:13:50

And they were all intrigued by what I was doing internationally.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:13:52

I said, well, we're gonna live more like that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:13:53

And they're like, yes, we will.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:13:54

Let's do that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:13:56

And then once we started trying, they're like, yeah, but on Saturday, like, we're trying busy and, you know, and so, but we, we learned forward and that was the case.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:14:05

And I think it's actually been the case with every community and, and we're different too, at different ages and stages of life and all.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:14:13

You know, that's, I think that's pretty normal.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:14:15

You know, I appreciate you saying that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:14:16

So, um, so I think

Alison LaFevers: 00:14:19

that this, this round, this iteration, the third one is really different because when we started, um, John was still pastoring.

Alison LaFevers: 00:14:27

And so this time we're both teachers now.

Alison LaFevers: 00:14:30

So really, uh, co vocational is what one of your podcast episodes talked about earlier.

Alison LaFevers: 00:14:35

Yeah.

Alison LaFevers: 00:14:36

Um, we have full-time jobs.

John LaFevers: 00:14:38

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:14:38

We got the same responsibilities as everybody else.

John LaFevers: 00:14:41

It's not like I get to, you know, go to my office and think about this all day.

John LaFevers: 00:14:44

Right.

John LaFevers: 00:14:45

It's,

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:14:46

so what's some of the rhythms now of your community life, like right now?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:14:50

The, the Missional Community you have now?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:14:52

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:14:52

And the folks that are part of that, what are, what are kind of, and, and I know they're all different, but what are some of the normal weekly rhythms each other?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:14:59

What's that look like?

John LaFevers: 00:15:00

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:15:00

Our typical, you know, kind of regular things or Thursday evenings we get together, um, for kind of a little.

John LaFevers: 00:15:08

Bible study type time.

John LaFevers: 00:15:11

Um, it actually rarely ends up being Bible study, but it's a little more kind of like just the group, so to speak.

John LaFevers: 00:15:16

Um, that typically, and then on Sunday afternoons, actually today, uh, we have uh, more like an open table set up.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:15:24

And varying degree.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:15:25

And by open table you're saying it's the community, but it's also any People of Peace or anybody

John LaFevers: 00:15:29

who Yeah, it's open.

John LaFevers: 00:15:30

Absolutely.

John LaFevers: 00:15:30

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:15:31

Everybody knows on Sunday afternoon anybody could show up.

John LaFevers: 00:15:34

You don't have any idea.

John LaFevers: 00:15:35

We try to communicate with our neighbors that they're welcome.

John LaFevers: 00:15:37

Anytime anybody in the community might bring anybody.

John LaFevers: 00:15:41

Uh, right.

John LaFevers: 00:15:41

Right now, everybody's actually gonna be late today because they're helping someone who's putting new flooring in their house, and they're all unloading a truck at the, my truck.

John LaFevers: 00:15:49

They borrowed my truck to get the stuff, and then they're unloading it at this moment.

John LaFevers: 00:15:53

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:15:54

And then outside of that, uh, just some specific examples.

John LaFevers: 00:15:57

Yesterday, some people went to watch a new Batman movie from our community.

John LaFevers: 00:16:02

I don't know.

John LaFevers: 00:16:02

We have, it feels like almost every day we're doing laundry right now.

John LaFevers: 00:16:05

If you can hear crazy noise in the background.

Alison LaFevers: 00:16:07

So one of, of the girls in our missional community dropped off her laundry and she's feeling sick, so I'll do her laundry.

Alison LaFevers: 00:16:13

I'll bring it back to you tonight.

Alison LaFevers: 00:16:14

That's going on over there

John LaFevers: 00:16:16

right now.

John LaFevers: 00:16:16

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:16:16

So that stuff is

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:16:17

like, we've done plenty of that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:16:18

And shopped for people and

John LaFevers: 00:16:20

you.

John LaFevers: 00:16:21

Yes.

John LaFevers: 00:16:21

Rarely does a day go by that people from our discipling or our Missional Community, uh, sorry.

John LaFevers: 00:16:27

The language is different with our You're good.

John LaFevers: 00:16:29

But you know how it goes.

John LaFevers: 00:16:30

Our Missional Community, um, rarely does a day go by that people aren't aren't connected and doing something, but Sunday afternoon and Thursday night, or like specifically scheduled things.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:16:41

Now I, there's a couple I think, important things there to kind of point out and just make sure that folks catch for one

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:16:48

um, there it is a time that you guys are as a believing part of the community together to pray, bind each other up, maybe study the word, go through story, whatever it would be.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:16:58

Yep.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:16:59

And then there's also a very intentional, additional like open table time so that you can still be together.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:17:03

But it's also that high invitation low challenge.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:17:07

Come on in.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:17:08

We're not gonna, if you bring in your friend or your sister, your neighbor, it's not gonna be some weird bait and switch and everybody hold hands.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:17:14

Stick out your tongue, you know, you know, like, it's like, it's gonna be fun and a normal, but there's both and rhythms, and it doesn't always start that way.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:17:22

But we have found in our community exact same things over and over many times with lots of people.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:17:26

It kind of start out as a more of a weekly meeting, but over time you realize, well, we need a way to have our friends and the neighbors over were, you know, they're, they're not ready for, you know, a deep Bible study or the stuff we're talking about, and we don't want 'em to feel like target.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:17:40

And then there's all that other rhythms that start to pick up.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:17:43

We talk about the organized and the organic and you guys talk about just two organized things there.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:17:48

But look at all the organics that you just, and that's the stuff that sounds fun now.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:17:52

Others are hearing this, still going.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:17:54

So your small group is in your life all that much.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:17:58

It really, yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:17:59

Really?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:00

Yes, they are.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:01

And, and it's a huge blessing.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:03

Uh, just so to encourage parents cuz I know a lot of parents feel.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:06

Overwhelmed.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:07

We haven't paid for a babysit.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:09

in longer, golly, probably seven years.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:12

Yeah, because we're all, yeah, right.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:15

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:15

We're all serving and helping and loving, and we babysat other people's kids and they've watched our kids and you know, like all this, we cut each other's grass sometimes.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:24

I mean, so like, I mean, nobody's keeping record of like, well, I did this for you, so you'll do this for me.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:28

But everyone's, cause that's not what family does.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:31

Family's not keeping track.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:32

I, you know, my son just left with his two boys and it wasn't like, okay.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:18:38

You know, this weekend grandpa probably put in this many hours, so you owe me that many hours of, uh, weeding, like, come on over and weed next week,

John LaFevers: 00:18:45

right?

John LaFevers: 00:18:46

Yes, you're right.

John LaFevers: 00:18:47

So we feel like we get to, we, we've gotten that language from you and we try to really communicate that and our community has really received that well that we get to.

John LaFevers: 00:18:55

And so people appreciate the opportunities.

John LaFevers: 00:18:57

And it's actually really funny.

John LaFevers: 00:18:58

It makes people uncomfortable.

John LaFevers: 00:19:00

New people are to, to our community, how much people want to bless them.

John LaFevers: 00:19:05

They get kind of uncomfortable with it because like a lot of people are used to that reciprocal, or you do this for me, then I'll do this for you.

John LaFevers: 00:19:11

And it, we've just, we just had a, we were just with a couple yesterday that like are really kind of uneasy about, well I don't know why everyone keeps doing stuff for us.

John LaFevers: 00:19:19

It's like, well we just love you.

John LaFevers: 00:19:20

We get the opportunity.

John LaFevers: 00:19:22

Uh, so

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:19:22

that's been a fun part of that because that's what a family that has God as their daddy and Jesus as their brother gets to live like . Right.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:19:29

They move.

Alison LaFevers: 00:19:30

Yeah.

Alison LaFevers: 00:19:31

And I would say our children have really.

Alison LaFevers: 00:19:34

There's, it's such a special place for them to grow it, grow up in, with this large community around our family.

Alison LaFevers: 00:19:43

Yeah.

Alison LaFevers: 00:19:43

That the boys, they get excited.

Alison LaFevers: 00:19:46

They about specifically Thursdays and specifically Sundays, but when nobody's come to our house in a day or two, they just go, uh, when, when is someone gonna visit?

Alison LaFevers: 00:19:55

Where are our friends?

Alison LaFevers: 00:19:57

Who can we play with?

Alison LaFevers: 00:19:58

Whether it's the other children and honestly the other adults.

Alison LaFevers: 00:20:02

And so that also goes for those adults in our community also see us parents, they see our marriage.

Alison LaFevers: 00:20:08

Yeah.

Alison LaFevers: 00:20:08

Um, and we're really, uh, open.

Alison LaFevers: 00:20:11

We're really open in, we had a fight.

Alison LaFevers: 00:20:14

This is what our fight was about.

Alison LaFevers: 00:20:15

One time we were having a fight as people were arriving.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:20:19

Heck

John LaFevers: 00:20:19

yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:20:20

Yes.

John LaFevers: 00:20:21

And

Alison LaFevers: 00:20:21

I've been there this later and John said, no, it would be good to finish this now in front of our family.

Alison LaFevers: 00:20:27

Our community coming in and I said, I hate that you're right, but let's do it.

Alison LaFevers: 00:20:31

And we had it out in front of our, our people arriving

John LaFevers: 00:20:35

as people came in, I would say, welcome.

John LaFevers: 00:20:37

We're in a fight.

John LaFevers: 00:20:38

And we would just keep on going

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:20:40

whatever we were talking about, boy, oh boy.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:20:41

I know that that just sounds horrible to some folks, but that is the best possible thing you can do.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:20:46

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:20:47

It's like we're not hiding the fact that we're real and we disagree, and sometimes we don't have our best attitude going forward or believe in the truth, so we might as well finish this in front of you, however that's gonna go.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:20:58

Right.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:20:58

You know, and we've had times exactly like that, and we've had times.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:03

Like, people could just kinda read the room like myself or someone else was like, you know, not in a great mood or whatever.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:08

Which, you know, that's normal.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:09

We're not all having the best day, like whatever happened to, like, you kinda had a bad day yesterday, didn't you?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:14

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:15

Like whatever happened to just getting to have a bad day.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:16

But you can't, you know, and, but we've had times where people say, Hey brother, you kind, you were just kinda speaking to Tina really short last night.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:23

Like, what's you guys Okay?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:25

Was it just having a bad day?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:26

Were you, you guys?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:27

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:27

You know, and they would check.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:29

Thanks for bringing that up and I'm, I'm sorry, you know, in a way that you saw that, but I'm glad you did cuz you got to check my heart.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:35

And I know that freaks people out, but that's part of like, I want the Gospel, I need, we need the Gospel being applied in real time like that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:43

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:43

So we're both displaying it.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:44

That's another one of those examples of like, yeah, this is how are we blessed and everybody else, and God's like, no, you need to finish this now.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:50

And you need to have the accountability of a family that loves you to death.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:53

And you don't get to sweep stuff under the carpet and say, oh, there's no big deal.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:21:58

Words.

John LaFevers: 00:21:58

Yes.

John LaFevers: 00:21:59

So true.

John LaFevers: 00:22:00

That's, that just makes me think of something that has been huge in this most recent iteration to make me encourage other people.

John LaFevers: 00:22:06

One of the first things we talked about with this crew, and again, I got this straight from you, Caesar, and Jeff really too vanderstelt, is that we're all nonbelievers.

John LaFevers: 00:22:16

We're all struggling to believe, uh, and, and hopefully we're in a place where we've submitted our lives to Jesus and we're believers, you know, in that sort of big B sense or whatever.

John LaFevers: 00:22:24

Yeah, but I struggle to believe the Gospel at every moment and, and that all the rest of us do too, and what freedom there is and just leaning into the fact that that's true and allowing other people to say, Hey, please speak into the places where I'm not believing cuz I need the help and I, and please give me the freedom to speak into where you're not believing.

John LaFevers: 00:22:43

And it's helped so much for people to feel comfortable with just.

John LaFevers: 00:22:47

You know, I'm, I don't have a tough time with that, you know, and it's all our times when we do Bible study and stuff is so much more rich.

John LaFevers: 00:22:54

. It's just

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:22:54

wonderful.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:22:55

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:22:56

And that's, that's a key thing too, is when you actually live on mission, you, you, you need the word of God.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:00

You desire it.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:01

You, you need prayer, you want, you know.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:04

Like when you, it's, it's kinda like training for, you know, a race or whatever.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:07

I'm not Mr.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:08

Athlete, but I have run some, you know, like five Ks and things like that when I know I got a 5K coming and all the family and friends that come here are gonna be there like cheering me on as I come in, like way behind the dads pushing their strollers and stuff.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:19

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:19

Like I train differently.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:21

Mm-hmm.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:22

And it's kinda the same thing when you actually live the life God calls you to in his power and control, he's, he's gonna, boy you're gonna wanna be fed like Jesus is, you know the word of God.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:31

I don't know the word is my food.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:32

You know, it's, I need that constant Gospel reminder and application in my heart.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:38

Oh, so let me go back to the kids for just a second.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:40

Let me ask you a question about the kids.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:42

So, um, what are some of the things that your kids are su obviously they're, I'm guessing they're involved in when you have a community over those two organized times.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:51

What are other things that the kids are engaged in that the community's involved in as part of discipleship, but your kids are like right there in tow.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:23:59

And how does that always, does that always work good?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:24:01

Because I know some people are gonna say, how do you do this with kids?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:24:03

Like, do we just put 'em in a room and throw a video on, or,

John LaFevers: 00:24:06

yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:24:06

Right.

John LaFevers: 00:24:06

We try our best to, uh, include our kids in everything that we're doing.

John LaFevers: 00:24:11

Uh, I mean, with extremely few exceptions?

John LaFevers: 00:24:14

I can't think of one off the top of my head, but I'm sure there have been

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:24:18

marriage, marriage bed.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:24:18

I always, I always tell them, other than taking 'em to the work, maybe every, you know, and then the marriage bed.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:24:24

Other than that, you can pretty much have the community and the kids involved.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:24:26

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:24:27

Yeah, that's right.

John LaFevers: 00:24:28

So they're in the mix.

John LaFevers: 00:24:29

Um, it's really fun, especially our open table times, um, to see them wrestle through the same things we do where we'll say, Hey, why don't you guys invite these neighbors over that they love to play with?

John LaFevers: 00:24:39

And they're like, But these people are coming.

John LaFevers: 00:24:42

And then it's hard to, when we get these kids together with these kids because they're different age and just like, I don't know, they're

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:24:48

thinking through that same dynamic.

John LaFevers: 00:24:50

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:24:50

Oh, exactly.

John LaFevers: 00:24:51

And so that's fascinating.

John LaFevers: 00:24:52

Cool.

John LaFevers: 00:24:52

And it's fun to let them listen to the spirit themselves to say, and maybe it's time to invite those people, and maybe it's not, you know, we sort of trusted them sometimes to say, okay, maybe you know, you guys need some time with just sort of I don't know, you're believing friends, so to speak, uh, to kind of hanging out.

John LaFevers: 00:25:07

So that's been a fun adventure.

John LaFevers: 00:25:09

Um, just having kids, their sports teams and stuff are always a big, anytime they're playing a sport or something, that's a huge, our whole community like come, go to each other's games and all that kind of stuff.

John LaFevers: 00:25:20

And yeah, and we really try to work intentionally in the, and our boys are always, you know, they know the kids so they're kind of gauging who seems like they might be a person of peace.

John LaFevers: 00:25:29

And we try our best to use that same language stuff that we would with adults.

John LaFevers: 00:25:32

Yeah, with them the same way.

John LaFevers: 00:25:34

Uh, and sometimes they, you know, they're getting in, sometimes they're like, got, you know, they don't know.

John LaFevers: 00:25:38

Our nine

Alison LaFevers: 00:25:39

year old is really, um, having fun with us, would get to and not should, or have to.

Alison LaFevers: 00:25:45

Oh.

Alison LaFevers: 00:25:45

Uh, and he's, so, he is really testing the boundaries on that.

Alison LaFevers: 00:25:48

He, well, I don't have to do this.

Alison LaFevers: 00:25:49

He said, oh yeah, you're right.

Alison LaFevers: 00:25:51

You don't have to.

Alison LaFevers: 00:25:52

Sometimes there's some consequences that come from that.

Alison LaFevers: 00:25:55

Um, you get to do that, and I think that that brings life and not death to you.

Alison LaFevers: 00:25:59

So let's talk about this, you know?

Alison LaFevers: 00:26:02

Um, but he's really, uh, I am so thankful that he's wrestled through that at nine years old, um, knowing that we did that in our thirties.

Alison LaFevers: 00:26:11

You know, so really

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:26:13

thankful and what a difference it will be because of his understanding of his identity and just the way that our family treats everyone like family and like you're already saying, they're like, when there's not people around for a couple days, they're like, Hey, where's everybody at?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:26:25

You know?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:26:26

Mm-hmm.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:26:26

Our kids were the exact same way with all that and Right.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:26:29

Even people living in the home, cuz we, throughout our life and our marriage, we had people living with us a lot and so then if it went like too long, they'd be, And they're, you know, they're like us.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:26:39

They're like, when maybe a family would move out that's been with us for three months or six months, they might be going like, okay, good.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:26:45

I can get back to not having all my toys broke.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:26:46

You know what I mean?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:26:47

It's human, right.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:26:48

Right.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:26:49

But then like a few months, you know, go by or even weeks and they'd be like, how come no one's living here?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:26:54

You know?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:26:55

And even just this morning, my, my four-year-old grandson, um, who doesn't live with us, but you know, he's part of the oikos , he's part of the extended family.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:04

He's like, He calls me Jaja.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:07

It's Polish for grandpa.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:08

He's like, Jaja, come here.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:09

And he takes my finger and he takes me into the dining room and he goes, when can we have a feast again?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:13

And I go like, I'm like, what do you mean?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:15

He goes, well, there's all the people and all the good foods.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:18

And I said, oh yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:19

And so he's thinking back to some of the larger holidays and then, and then, so we were, well, let's do it soon and we don't have to wait for Christmas or something, you know, we do it all the time, actually.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:28

And so then his, his papa, my son, said, who do you wanna invite to the feast?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:34

Well, he starts ripping through.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:36

It's the oikos, you know what I mean?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:38

And it's including people who aren't blood, but they're part of the whole rhythms and he's getting to know them, and then he's naming off other kids, you know?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:45

And same thing, four.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:47

So they do and people think, oh, well, but you know, like, well, you have to have your alone time and you have to have boundaries and all.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:53

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:27:53

We get to, and we spent a lot of the weekend with just me and the two boys and my son and Tina and all, but then the cousins were around and there's other kids in the neighborhood and they're playing in the yards and you know.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:28:04

You know what I mean?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:28:04

And it's that they're, again, it's that normalcy of the whole thing with greater Gospel intentionality.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:28:12

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:28:13

I think that still sums it up so good.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:28:15

It's kind of like normal everyday life, but there's a Gospel intentionality, so there's some organized stuff, not that much.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:28:22

And then there's lots of organics, which I think the more you love God and the more you love people, the more you make space for that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:28:27

And then the richer your life gets and you go, yeah, we get to.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:28:32

What are some of the things that, uh, you guys over the years ha have had?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:28:38

Uh, die to a little bit, you know, like personal preference wise and all that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:28:42

Cuz I talked a little bit about that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:28:43

Tina and I shared a little bit about some of the stuff that maybe to live like a family on mission.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:28:47

There's, you know, we have a pretty long list of stuff that you might have to put back on the altar for God to sanctify, you know, what are some of the things, cuz you know, we have personal preferences or the way we were raised or the way church was always.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:28:59

What are some of the things you guys think of when I ask that?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:29:01

Like, And I'm not saying you're doing perfect.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:29:03

You went from Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:29:04

But like, what are some of the things you've had to like die to or put on the altar?

Alison LaFevers: 00:29:09

Um, for me it was my clean house that I wanted everything perfect when people arrived and I wanted a, a beautiful meal and flowers on the table.

Alison LaFevers: 00:29:21

And when we were like young, married or the boys were really little, we couldn't afford that.

Alison LaFevers: 00:29:26

And I remember when, again, before we had learned.

Alison LaFevers: 00:29:30

More about missional communities.

Alison LaFevers: 00:29:32

I had told John, John, we can't have people over.

Alison LaFevers: 00:29:34

We just can't afford it.

Alison LaFevers: 00:29:37

And we both kind of slumped our shoulders as we thought that doesn't seemed right, but like you can't afford it.

Alison LaFevers: 00:29:42

You can't afford it.

Alison LaFevers: 00:29:44

And so some of the things now,

John LaFevers: 00:29:46

or you think you can't afford it.

John LaFevers: 00:29:48

That's true.

John LaFevers: 00:29:49

Yes.

John LaFevers: 00:29:49

But God is good so we don't have to look elsewhere.

John LaFevers: 00:29:51

There you

Alison LaFevers: 00:29:52

go.

Alison LaFevers: 00:29:52

And I, um, I don't have to put on a fancy meal.

Alison LaFevers: 00:29:58

One cuz that's so stressful, everybody.

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:00

No kidding.

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:01

Uh, it, it can be really stressful and my house doesn't have to look perfect, um, for people to arrive.

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:09

Um, my house is actually a wreck over there and we're having everybody over this afternoon.

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:14

They don't care.

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:16

And it's so freeing to realize it's about the people and loving them and not about my junk over there.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:30:23

For them to, yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:30:24

Like no one's walking in and going.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:30:26

to their spouse?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:30:27

Like, did you notice there was like a, there was a hot wheel under the couch?

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:32

You know, it's a little worse than that right now.

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:34

Let me know.

John LaFevers: 00:30:35

Let's try.

John LaFevers: 00:30:36

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:30:36

You got it right?

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:37

Yeah.

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:37

Someone cleaned your house.

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:38

And, um, we do get our house ready because we're excited for people to come.

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:44

We want to prepare our home for them.

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:46

So there's that aspect.

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:47

We do clean, we do make food for people.

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:50

Um, and making food looks a lot different.

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:53

I really thought that we had to afford all the food when people would come for meals

John LaFevers: 00:30:57

there, that we should provide everything,

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:59

right?

Alison LaFevers: 00:30:59

That that was the most generous and the most loving and giving.

Alison LaFevers: 00:31:02

And what we do now is everybody brings a piece of the meal, or sometimes we'll prepare it all together.

Alison LaFevers: 00:31:08

The night before, you know, you drop off the ground feed, you bring the beans.

Alison LaFevers: 00:31:12

Or I do the big part and they bring all the side stuff, you know for

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:31:16

that and you, yeah, you're working it out.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:31:18

Exactly like a family.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:31:19

That sounds just like when we have Team K, family dinner night is exactly the same, and it's like, well, I'll bring such and such, but I can't get to the store today.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:31:28

I'm going, I'll pick it up for you.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:31:29

And then they vemo each other or what, you know what I mean?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:31:31

It just works itself out.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:31:33

It was the same when Tina and I were living in New York.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:31:37

It was a very, very different set of rhythms in Manhattan and uh, there was no kids in that Missional, Community, you know, it was just everybody was like, 20 somethings, 30 somethings working 80 hours a week.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:31:47

It was a very different set of rhythms that, you know, developed and then got reshaped.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:31:52

But it was the same thing.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:31:53

People would be like, Hey, could you pick that up?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:31:56

Cuz I'm gonna work late, but I don't want, you know, like I'm, I was doing the, the lasagna this week and so that can't come an hour late or half hour late.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:32:03

So, uh, what if I drop it off the night before and then would you put it in the oven?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:32:07

Or you can then we'd get in the text and say, well just stop by early.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:32:10

We'll throw it in our oven, you know?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:32:11

It just works itself

John LaFevers: 00:32:12

out.

John LaFevers: 00:32:13

Yes.

John LaFevers: 00:32:13

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:32:13

But if you

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:32:14

feel like you treat everybody like a guest at a restaurant showing up and you know, you, you, am I gonna get my Michelin stars this week and all?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:32:21

Let's, you're gonna kill yourself.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:32:23

Yeah,

Alison LaFevers: 00:32:24

absolutely.

Alison LaFevers: 00:32:24

And that idea of wanting this to be a rhythm and wanting this to be, um, repeatable, predictable pattern, a predictable pattern, reproducible, yeah.

Alison LaFevers: 00:32:36

I want to model for the other people in our group that this isn't hard for me.

Alison LaFevers: 00:32:41

This isn't stressful for me.

Alison LaFevers: 00:32:42

One, I've practiced it, I've gotten better at it.

Alison LaFevers: 00:32:45

I've improved.

Alison LaFevers: 00:32:46

Um, but it doesn't have to be overwhelming.

Alison LaFevers: 00:32:49

Doesn't, yeah.

Alison LaFevers: 00:32:50

Doesn't have to be overwhelming and it shouldn't be overwhelming.

Alison LaFevers: 00:32:52

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:32:52

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:32:53

But for me, what I've had to died to you as to talk over our washer machine in the background.

John LaFevers: 00:32:58

Hopefully you can't hear that.

John LaFevers: 00:32:59

Um, but.

John LaFevers: 00:33:01

Is very different from Allison.

John LaFevers: 00:33:03

I'm, uh, apostle, probably be shepherd teacher.

John LaFevers: 00:33:05

I'm on the apostle side of that.

John LaFevers: 00:33:07

I want to go, go, go and do and move and just, it's all organic, you know?

John LaFevers: 00:33:12

And, and I'm bad.

John LaFevers: 00:33:13

My personality is I'm the engine of the train and if there's no cars behind me, that's okay cuz I'm still going.

John LaFevers: 00:33:20

Uh, and I've had to die to that.

John LaFevers: 00:33:22

Uh, with Missional.

John LaFevers: 00:33:23

Community that like, we're gonna get together on Thursday, we're gonna get together on Sunday.

John LaFevers: 00:33:29

We're gonna, uh, talk about multiplication.

John LaFevers: 00:33:32

Like a family would talk about multiplying and not like a business would start a new franchise.

John LaFevers: 00:33:38

Uh, and that's been challenging for me because I just want to do and go and like, you've got it, do your thing.

John LaFevers: 00:33:44

And I'd rather not have any plans cuz that's gonna slow us down.

John LaFevers: 00:33:48

But I've learned that it's important to have plans and to, uh, love people and not just try to accomplish

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:33:54

a task so multiplication you're saying is a, is a family situation, not like, Hey kids.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:02

Uh, happy birthday.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:03

You just turned 18.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:04

I'm like, what?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:05

What's all that?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:05

That's all your stuff.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:06

It's stacked out front for, you're moving out today because you're 18.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:10

We are, I am.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:12

You didn't talk about that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:14

You never mentioned it, you know?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:15

Yeah, exactly.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:16

And that's, you know, that's the thing we've learned a lot too, is that if you, if you build a community with the expectation that we're gonna grow and multiply and you're gonna get equiped.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:25

And that there's gonna be stuff we're modeling that you might not even know.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:28

And then at times we're gonna say, Hey, I, I, I'm gonna start mauling you.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:32

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:32

So I want you to start paying attention to a couple things, cuz I think down the road you're probably gonna be hosting up, you know, an open table.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:39

We'd sure like to pray through that with you and help you with that and tho those kinds of things.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:42

So I think when you, we, we used to term raise the kids to move out, like they knew, like you're always welcome and some of them have come back and been, you know, here and all that and moved back in.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:52

But the expectation was.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:54

Grow up and have a family and multiply out and just trust God for all that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:34:58

And also I think it's healthy and it's good.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:35:03

What would be, uh, as we kinda wrap this up, what would be your encouragement to others who are, you know, they're sort of kicking the tires of whatever they call Missional, Community disciples, whatever it is, but they're going, like, for us, it's still way more of a.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:35:15

Like boxed, uh, organized rhythm and doesn't have maybe the fluidity and the organics just yet, what would be some just your encouragements to folks to say, this is a family thing, you get to go for it.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:35:28

Yes.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:35:28

You know,

John LaFevers: 00:35:28

the, the first thing that I would say is don't add anything.

John LaFevers: 00:35:32

I, I think a lot of people feel like they need to add stuff.

John LaFevers: 00:35:35

My encouragement would be invite people into whatever anything possible that you're already doing, including, like you mentioned, work.

John LaFevers: 00:35:43

If you have a job that's, Possible for other people to come see if somebody wants to come and hang out.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:35:48

If you got, you eat lunch.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:35:49

I got lots of yard work and painting and stripping and stacking and dump runs have been part of our community forever.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:35:56

Yeah, right.

John LaFevers: 00:35:57

I mean, literally anything, anything that you're doing.

John LaFevers: 00:35:59

If you're gonna go watch a movie, see if somebody else in the, you know, in your community or whoever, maybe they're not in your community, somebody that you know, anything you're already doing, and then as other people hopefully invite you to be a part of what they're.

John LaFevers: 00:36:12

Try to make an effort to do there.

John LaFevers: 00:36:14

You know, like not something you gotta commit to every single week, but if another guy's like, Hey, uh, could you help me unload some stuff like our disciple community is doing right now?

John LaFevers: 00:36:22

Right.

John LaFevers: 00:36:23

Yeah.

John LaFevers: 00:36:23

You know, I'll be there.

John LaFevers: 00:36:24

Try to make an effort.

John LaFevers: 00:36:25

Uh, and before you know it, I think you'll start to see, wow, this is really nice.

John LaFevers: 00:36:30

And it actually is really freeing and takes burden off instead of really burdensome,

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:36:35

difficult.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:36:36

That's key.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:36:36

See cuz many hands make light work.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:36:38

And, and so we all kind of weigh out like, like, and make decisions based on what'll be the least painful.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:36:43

And for some people it's less painful to kill themselves and work all weekend long doing something.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:36:49

Alone than it would be to say, Hey, you guys wanna gimme a hand on that and we'll have some pizza and beer afterwards.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:36:54

For some people it's, it's just easier to do alone.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:36:57

And that's a fear of man issue.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:36:58

That's a Gospel issue.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:36:59

That's all that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:00

But once, once you kinda let God just show his love and his approval and you don't have to earn it and you certainly can't earn it or prove, you know, just rake in your own yard, it's like, you know, a month of raking or whatever, boy, boy, life gets a lot easier.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:14

Many hands make light work.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:15

And I think that's why we live, have lived.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:18

Uh, relishing this life in community, cuz I'll be honest with you, it's fun, but it wouldn't be if we were just like up till midnight cleaning.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:25

But that's never the case.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:27

Everybody wants to help and everybody's in and they're bringing food and they're packing up the leftovers and all normal.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:34

It's just, it's normal.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:35

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:35

Eh, you know?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:36

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:36

Well this has been super helpful and encouraging, I'm sure.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:39

Just to add that layer of normalcy to it for folks.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:42

So thanks again for sharing your life and all that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:46

I really appreciate it.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:49

Wow.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:50

Love those guys so much as Tina and I have got to know John and Allison through coaching with them, I continue to be impressed by how they naturally roll.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:37:59

All the stuff that comes up in life, job changes and challenges.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:38:03

Politics in ministry locally leading their Missional, Community, that's up and down and all over the place.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:38:09

All while being great parents, and I have to be honest, all while doing it with great joy, they're having a lot of fun and we've watched them grow immensely in their gospel fluency and the ability to see discipleship happen in all the normal rhythms and conversations of their life.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:38:25

It's been amazing.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:38:26

It's beautiful, and I think it's a living example of what we read about in the book of Acts chapter two, and I hope you're really encouraged by that.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:38:33

We all get to live this way.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:38:35

We really.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:38:36

Okay, it's time to give you the big three takeaways from today's topic.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:38:40

If nothing else, and it's hard to boil these down, but you don't wanna miss these three, and you can get a printable PDF of the big three as a free download by going to everyday Disciple dot com slash big three b i G three.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:38:53

Now, here's the big three for this week.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:38:55

Number one, don't miss the normalcy of all this all done with greater Gospel intentionality.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:02

See all the normal stuff of life with greater Gospel intentionality.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:07

They have a family jobs and kids they're serving locally at their church.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:11

They're not programming life event to event.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:15

Most of it is people stopping by or having meals because they feel like part of the family and heads up what isn't good for you.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:23

And life giving is not good for those people who you're trying to lead and hoping to Disciple.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:28

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:29

If it's not good for you and doesn't fit your life, it's not good for them either.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:32

But what is good for you is good for your People of Peace and those you're trying to Disciple.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:38

In fact, living this way takes the pressure off.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:41

Yeah, it really does.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:43

Number two, everyone gets to do mission in ways that fit their unique family rhythms.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:49

So don't think yours has to sound like mine or John and Allison's or anyone else's.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:53

There is not one perfect way to do this, and God is not up in heaven.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:39:58

Keeping track of your schedule and how hard you're working at mission.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:40:02

You get to pray for his leading on how you can better intentional life on mission for your family.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:40:08

I promise if you ask him, what's next, Lord, what's the very next thing you want us to do?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:40:12

He will tell you then just do that and ask him again.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:40:17

And number three, what are some things that you may have to lay down or trust God with in order to live more on mission as a family?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:40:26

Maybe you need to lay down this idea of a spotless house or perfectly behaved kids.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:40:31

Or control over your time and calendar outside of trusting God with it all, let me suggest you pick one predictable pattern that you can begin to invite others to join you in.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:40:42

It's a great way to get started.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:40:44

Maybe it's an open table or a s'mores night around the fire pit.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:40:47

You'll figure it out.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:40:48

Perhaps inviting one couple or family over for dinner each week on a predetermined night that easily fits your schedule.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:40:56

Pick one.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:40:56

Make it a predictable pattern, something that's easy to remember for you and others and get started.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:41:02

Okay?

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:41:03

I hope this whole episode's been as encouraging for you as it has been for me, and I hope you'll join me again next week and every week as we continue to look at how discipleship fits into all of life and how you can lead . Others in this way of life, making it fun and reproducible as you go.

Caesar Kalinowski: 00:41:19

Alright, I'll talk to you soon.

Announcer: 00:41:22

Thanks for joining us today.

Announcer: 00:41:23

For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit everyday disciple dot com and remember, you really can live with the spiritual freedom and relational peace that Jesus promised every day.