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Caring About Our Clients is Good for Our Business Featuring Craig Lomax
Episode 64926th September 2022 • Smashing the Plateau • Smashing the Plateau
00:00:00 00:29:34

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Craig is a leadership development coach. Prior to his career as a coach, he co-founded and directed Rock-N-Water, an adventure camp in California, for thirty years. In today's episode of Smashing the Plateau, you will learn why caring for your clients is good for your business. Craig and I discuss:
  • Craig’s smart dog [02:33]
  • Craig’s career transition [04:25]
  • How Craig changed his way of interacting when he started his business [06:23]
  • How Craig addressed the challenges of pride and insecurity [10:19]
  • Craig’s advice for someone transitioning from employment to coaching [21:10]
Craig and his wife of over thirty years have three adult children and one smart dog. In his spare time, Craig is a mental health advocate and suicide prevention trainer. Learn more about Craig at www.craiglomax.com and contact Craig at craig@craiglomax.com. Thank you to Our Sponsors: The Smashing the Plateau Community https://community.smashingtheplateau.com Circle https://smashingtheplateau.com/circle

Transcripts

Craig Lomax:

When we actually care about others.

Craig Lomax:

Focus on loving them in a way that brings out compassion because

Craig Lomax:

we see the needs that they have.

Craig Lomax:

And when you mix caring for someone and seeing their needs,

Craig Lomax:

then you become compassionate.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Welcome to Smashing the Plateau.

David Shriner-Cahn:

We help consultants, coaches, entrepreneurs, and small business

David Shriner-Cahn:

owners build their business after a long career as an employed professional.

David Shriner-Cahn:

We believe you should be able to do what you love and get paid

David Shriner-Cahn:

what you're worth, consistently.

David Shriner-Cahn:

I'm your host, David Shriner-Cahn.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Today on Smashing the Plateau, I'm speaking with leadership

David Shriner-Cahn:

development coach Craig Lomax.

David Shriner-Cahn:

In today's episode, you'll learn why Craig believes that caring for our

David Shriner-Cahn:

clients is good for our business.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Stay with us to hear all the details.

David Shriner-Cahn:

How do you feel about your business?

David Shriner-Cahn:

How would membership, in a caring collaborative community help you

David Shriner-Cahn:

work toward your goals, faster, with fewer costly mistakes.

David Shriner-Cahn:

A community where quality relationships are fostered through live events and

David Shriner-Cahn:

our own private communication platform.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Where accountability partners are part of the structure and where templates,

David Shriner-Cahn:

guides, tools, and resources are provided.

David Shriner-Cahn:

A community dedicated to empowering consultants who are determined to

David Shriner-Cahn:

build their businesses following long careers, as high achieving employees.

David Shriner-Cahn:

If you are committed to getting your consulting, coaching, or small business

David Shriner-Cahn:

to grow on your own terms so that you can deliver great results to your ideal

David Shriner-Cahn:

clients while supporting the lifestyle you want, and you don't want to do it alone,

David Shriner-Cahn:

consider applying to become a member of the Smashing the Plateau Community.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Want to know if belonging to a community is right for you.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Schedule 15 minutes with me to find out.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Go to smashingtheplateau.com/15.

David Shriner-Cahn:

That's smashingtheplateau.com/15.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Now let's welcome, Craig Lomax.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Craig is a leadership development coach.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Prior to his career as a coach, he co-founded and directed Rock

David Shriner-Cahn:

and Water, an adventure camp in California, for 30 years.

David Shriner-Cahn:

He and his wife of over 30 years have three adult children and one smart dog.

David Shriner-Cahn:

In his spare time, he's a mental health advocate and suicide prevention trainer.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Craig, welcome to the show.

Craig Lomax:

Thanks.

Craig Lomax:

David, happy to be here.

David Shriner-Cahn:

I'd love to hear about the one smart dog.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Yeah.

Craig Lomax:

Yes.

Craig Lomax:

he's smart enough to like my wife a whole lot more than he likes me.

Craig Lomax:

So he is a, he's a one owner dog.

Craig Lomax:

And, he's the kind of dog, he's an English shepherd and they aren't show dogs.

Craig Lomax:

So they stayed true to their breed.

Craig Lomax:

They stay really smart and with a lot of, other good benefits, but

Craig Lomax:

they make decisions on their own.

Craig Lomax:

They're one of those dogs that.

Craig Lomax:

Makes their own choices.

Craig Lomax:

So he makes his own choices.

Craig Lomax:

And, even though he actually is well trained, he still thinks about

Craig Lomax:

it for a second before he does it, okay, what do I want to do?

Craig Lomax:

yeah, I'm supposed to do that.

Craig Lomax:

All right, I'll do it.

Craig Lomax:

So he's got that kind of programmed thing to it.

Craig Lomax:

The other day I was out on a walk with him and he went off after

Craig Lomax:

something tracking something.

Craig Lomax:

And, he ended up treeing a mountain line.

Craig Lomax:

Oh my God.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah.

Craig Lomax:

So I got down to where he was at.

Craig Lomax:

He was on our property and, got down he's barking at something up the tree.

Craig Lomax:

And I look up the tree and there's this huge cat up in this pine tree.

Craig Lomax:

And, I was like, wow.

Craig Lomax:

Okay.

Craig Lomax:

I think it's time for us to go.

Craig Lomax:

And he was like, yeah.

Craig Lomax:

Okay.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah, I do this.

Craig Lomax:

I treat them sometimes and they just sit up there.

Craig Lomax:

So let's go.

Craig Lomax:

I'm fine with that.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Oh, I love it.

David Shriner-Cahn:

So what lessons can we learn from your dog?

Craig Lomax:

Oh, that's interesting.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah.

Craig Lomax:

If I was going to learn lessons from my dog, maybe I should start doing that.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah.

Craig Lomax:

I think that he doesn't care very much what I think, but

Craig Lomax:

he is willing to serve me.

Craig Lomax:

he is willing to take care of me.

Craig Lomax:

He is willing to, when he sees that, there's a way he can help me.

Craig Lomax:

He's interested.

Craig Lomax:

He wants to do that.

Craig Lomax:

He wants to participate, but he doesn't really care what I think or feel

Craig Lomax:

he's looking at what I actually need.

Craig Lomax:

what I want.

Craig Lomax:

I think that's often, sometimes would be healthy for me to do is to stop feeling.

Craig Lomax:

How much I'm liked by somebody or what they're thinking about me and just

Craig Lomax:

really just focus on, Hey, how can I really be helpful to this person?

David Shriner-Cahn:

It sounds to me, from what I know about you and your

David Shriner-Cahn:

career, it sounds to me like you are doing that, because you made a big

David Shriner-Cahn:

transition in your career, not too long ago, which has led you to coaching.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah.

Craig Lomax:

And I'm loving it.

Craig Lomax:

I think it's kind of where I came from in my other career too recently,

Craig Lomax:

I was, I did an exercise or I sat down and was like, okay, I really

Craig Lomax:

need to reconnect to my passions for coaching for doing what I'm doing.

Craig Lomax:

In my other career that I was in running this youth camp, I had a very

Craig Lomax:

clear mission and I had a group of people around me who were, shared

Craig Lomax:

the same core values and were like excited about the same mission, and

Craig Lomax:

so there was no reminder needed.

Craig Lomax:

We were always part of a momentum that was all about purpose and meaning.

Craig Lomax:

In my coaching career, I've spent a lot of time and energy focusing

Craig Lomax:

on the art of coaching and really trying to refine that and just become

Craig Lomax:

a great coach and understanding all these somewhat new concepts, for me,

Craig Lomax:

or least not concepts, but new way of thinking, new way of interacting.

Craig Lomax:

And I think I've been distracted, from the heart of coaching.

Craig Lomax:

Even though when I'm on a call with someone, I think I'm

Craig Lomax:

connected, I think I'm there.

Craig Lomax:

But in my business activities, I'm going through them more

Craig Lomax:

mechanically and less passionately.

Craig Lomax:

So anyway, I did this exercise the other day where I'm not a poet, but I wrote

Craig Lomax:

this poem that was connecting my two different careers, this, running this

Craig Lomax:

youth camp and how I worked with people there and how I developed people there and

Craig Lomax:

how I develop people through my coaching .And seeing how well aligned they are,

Craig Lomax:

how similar, how much the same they are, was really helpful to me again, even

Craig Lomax:

though I know that it was really fun to watch it in words, and to step myself

Craig Lomax:

through the emotions of those things.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Craig, going back to your earlier point about a

David Shriner-Cahn:

new way of interacting, what is the way of interacting and how is that?

Craig Lomax:

Embarrassingly enough for the listeners who understand the

Craig Lomax:

Enneagram, I'm an Enneagram 8, right?

Craig Lomax:

I'm very proactive, very assertive, very, the eight really has a hard time

Craig Lomax:

not controlling their environment.

Craig Lomax:

Often to do good things, but they want to control things.

Craig Lomax:

They want to see it there and they want to be, they want to

Craig Lomax:

present themselves as strong.

Craig Lomax:

And I, although I have some hesitancy in admitting that

Craig Lomax:

I'm that guy, I am that guy.

Craig Lomax:

And, for decades, I was very helpful to a lot of people in their development.

Craig Lomax:

But I did it from without much of a filter on that approach.

Craig Lomax:

So I did have wisdom and insight to bring to the people I was helping to develop.

Craig Lomax:

And I did that in a way that was assertive and proactive and intentional.

Craig Lomax:

And it comes out in the form of advice, giving and problem solving and not

Craig Lomax:

asking very many questions, not coming from a perspective of curiosity.

Craig Lomax:

And that was a big shift for me and my coaching to be able to not look at

Craig Lomax:

their problem as the focal point of the conversation, but to put the problem,

Craig Lomax:

their challenge, their goals, whatever it is to put that in my peripheral.

Craig Lomax:

And understand it enough to be really curious about how my client's

Craig Lomax:

thinking about those, how my client is feeling about those goals and

Craig Lomax:

those problems and those that issue.

Craig Lomax:

And that was a big leap.

Craig Lomax:

The first few times people had asked me to coach them and I understood that

Craig Lomax:

coaching was like, this why guru guy on top of the hill only ask questions?

Craig Lomax:

It's connected to that.

Craig Lomax:

and, so I would, okay, I'm going to ask questions and

Craig Lomax:

that's how I'm going to do this.

Craig Lomax:

And I would try to ask these questions and all I could do was ask questions that was

Craig Lomax:

going to lead my, the client to the answer that I knew in my head, they should be at

Craig Lomax:

They were just, they're just manipulative tools to get them to want what I want them

Craig Lomax:

to want, because that's what they need.

Craig Lomax:

So really fun when I started learning how to be.

Craig Lomax:

In a way that had an open hand to the results and the outcomes and

Craig Lomax:

was respecting my, the wisdom, the insight, the general just

Craig Lomax:

capabilities of my clients.

Craig Lomax:

And, ask and then trying to tap into that.

Craig Lomax:

How can I get them to understand how much potential they have here to figure this

Craig Lomax:

out, to arrive at this, to achieve this?

Craig Lomax:

How can I help them see that in an honest way, that helps them move forward.

Craig Lomax:

And yeah, that's what, how I'd explain that.

David Shriner-Cahn:

So have you been surprised by some of the answers

David Shriner-Cahn:

you've gotten since you've shifted?

Craig Lomax:

Oh yeah.

David Shriner-Cahn:

To being, much more open in the way you question people.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah, dude, I've figured out that other people are a whole lot smarter

Craig Lomax:

than I've been giving them credit for.

Craig Lomax:

Because I, I'm now I'm beginning to listen to them in a whole new way.

Craig Lomax:

And I'm looking for that wisdom.

Craig Lomax:

I'm interested in that wisdom and my mind isn't just focused on okay.

Craig Lomax:

What, what smart thing have I got to offer?

Craig Lomax:

That's, I'm actually, those smart things are popping up and I'm putting

Craig Lomax:

them, I'm putting them in my backpack.

Craig Lomax:

I'm putting them in my back pocket, letting them sit there and go, okay, no,

Craig Lomax:

I know what I have, but what do they have?

Craig Lomax:

And, oh, now when I do that and I find the ways to open those doors to let

Craig Lomax:

out their wisdom, their insight, I'm like, oh, I'm now I'm taking notes.

Craig Lomax:

And I'm learning and I'm growing from this person that maybe years

Craig Lomax:

ago, I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have expected to be teaching me much.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah.

David Shriner-Cahn:

So putting yourself in a position where you are

David Shriner-Cahn:

primed by curiosity, and you're in a position where your clients can teach

David Shriner-Cahn:

you, how might that impact your own sense of security and your own pride?

David Shriner-Cahn:

Particularly given your long history of being a really successful camp director.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah.

Craig Lomax:

I think that it's really interesting that you bring up insecurities and pride,

Craig Lomax:

because I think that those are really key, to, being free of those is a huge

Craig Lomax:

part of being successful at anything and having fulfillment in anything.

Craig Lomax:

And yeah, for me, I have a lot.

Craig Lomax:

And how that translates out, the way I see that pride and insecurities

Craig Lomax:

come about is when we are actually measuring our own value based on

Craig Lomax:

the performance, of other people.

Craig Lomax:

So if we measure our value, if we're measuring our performance compared to

Craig Lomax:

somebody else, And we're doing better.

Craig Lomax:

And then we take that outcome.

Craig Lomax:

We that the results of those measurements, and we say, oh, I am performing

Craig Lomax:

better this per than this person.

Craig Lomax:

Therefore I am more valuable than they are then, that's how I define pride.

Craig Lomax:

This unhealthy pride, this arrogance, which only makes me feel good inside.

Craig Lomax:

Really.

Craig Lomax:

When I get to that point, I feel great.

Craig Lomax:

I get rewarded for doing that measurement for doing the

Craig Lomax:

performance, doing the measurement.

Craig Lomax:

And valuing myself that way.

Craig Lomax:

And I go through my day, skipping happy.

Craig Lomax:

Woohoo.

Craig Lomax:

It's all good.

Craig Lomax:

I'm on top of the world, not even knowing why most of the time, not

Craig Lomax:

even understanding that the reason I feel good is because I beat somebody

Craig Lomax:

else at something in some way.

Craig Lomax:

Or I beat the general population, most of them, I'm mostly smarter

Craig Lomax:

for example, than most of the world.

Craig Lomax:

So if I can convince myself of that and that's why I value myself, then I'm

Craig Lomax:

really just enjoying my day or my life, because I think I'm better than others.

Craig Lomax:

And that has complicated issues to it.

Craig Lomax:

it robs us of real value and real fulfill.

Craig Lomax:

And we can talk about that, on the other side you talked about insecurities.

Craig Lomax:

the thing is I'm not going to always be able to feel good based

Craig Lomax:

on that, based on measuring my value by measuring the performance

Craig Lomax:

of other people against myself.

Craig Lomax:

I'm going to lose that game sometimes.

Craig Lomax:

I'm going to lose that game and end up not winning feeling less than others.

Craig Lomax:

And that's insecurity.

Craig Lomax:

Most people put those at two ends of a spectrum.

Craig Lomax:

Oh, there's pride.

Craig Lomax:

And there's insecurity.

Craig Lomax:

I put them all in a pit together.

Craig Lomax:

This pit that most of us at spend at least part of our day, if not the majority

Craig Lomax:

of days in our lives, megging around in this kind of two sided pit where we're

Craig Lomax:

climbing up out of one side, trying to prove ourselves, coming up outta

Craig Lomax:

insecurity, trying to prove ourselves, winning, feeling that we're more valued

Craig Lomax:

than somebody else in some little way.

Craig Lomax:

And then falling over into the other side of the pit where we're proud of ourselves.

Craig Lomax:

And we think that we're the greatest.

Craig Lomax:

And we're going back and forth between two chime chambers of a pit.

Craig Lomax:

So yeah, I didn't give you examples of how I did that.

Craig Lomax:

Because maybe I don't want to tell you about how arrogant

Craig Lomax:

I am and all those ways, but

David Shriner-Cahn:

If you're willing to share, I'd love to hear it.

David Shriner-Cahn:

And I'd also love to hear how you moved away from those particular mental states.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah, so how that pegs me.

Craig Lomax:

All right.

Craig Lomax:

So my family and friends are going to love, are going to love this, Because

Craig Lomax:

they all know the truth about this.

Craig Lomax:

That I really do think that I have, wisdom to offer the world, that I'm smart, that

Craig Lomax:

I'm better than most people at problem solving and things of that nature.

Craig Lomax:

I love the fact that I can help people grow and develop faster than, even

Craig Lomax:

professionals let alone the common man.

Craig Lomax:

So that's my pride talking.

Craig Lomax:

That's when I let that out, that monster out, that's who I am.

Craig Lomax:

That's what is driving me and that's what I'm looking for.

Craig Lomax:

And I'm wanting to feed that monster all the time.

Craig Lomax:

I want praise.

Craig Lomax:

I want people to tell me those things, man, you are so smart.

Craig Lomax:

Wow.

Craig Lomax:

You thought of this is Craig.

Craig Lomax:

Brilliant.

Craig Lomax:

I love those words.

Craig Lomax:

Those words make me feel really good.

Craig Lomax:

Not because I've accomplished something good half the time.

Craig Lomax:

It's because I love those words because ah, you just separated me.

Craig Lomax:

I call them, I call these people rulers, right?

Craig Lomax:

People I respect.

Craig Lomax:

And some, for some reason, maybe they're a professor, maybe they're, a boss,

Craig Lomax:

maybe it's just someone who's really attractive of the opposite gender.

Craig Lomax:

These are rulers who they're looking out over the masses and then they

Craig Lomax:

see us and they see our head rise above the crowd and they point at us

Craig Lomax:

and they say, Hey, you over there.

Craig Lomax:

Wow.

Craig Lomax:

Look at you.

Craig Lomax:

And we go, you noticed.

Craig Lomax:

You noticed that I am truly above the rest of the crowd in some way you saw me

Craig Lomax:

and now I didn't have to go around and compare myself to all these other folks.

Craig Lomax:

I didn't have to do that.

Craig Lomax:

All I had to do was look to you and you have decades maybe of doing this.

Craig Lomax:

So now I just compared myself to thousands of people maybe, and

Craig Lomax:

so it's, feeling my God pride.

Craig Lomax:

So yeah, I think that, we could, I have other areas of pride, but I think in

Craig Lomax:

related to coaching, I think that's really where I can get stuck, and where

Craig Lomax:

it's going to hurt my performance.

Craig Lomax:

When I'm going to, when I'm being with a client, and I really want my

Craig Lomax:

client, I'm hearing I'm feeling that passion inside of me that really wants

Craig Lomax:

my client to recognize how smart I am.

Craig Lomax:

I want them to see how, what a great question I'm going to ask them next or

Craig Lomax:

how well I navigated this conversation to make a big difference and not in a

Craig Lomax:

way that they appreciate just simply appreciate that, I am giving them my

Craig Lomax:

skills, but that they admire me in some way above the rest of humanity.

Craig Lomax:

That's what I, if I get caught on that, I get focused on my performance and

Craig Lomax:

I get distracted from the real thing, which is how can I help this client

Craig Lomax:

today right now, and forget about myself.

Craig Lomax:

and you're asking about how to move up out of this.

Craig Lomax:

That's the trick.

Craig Lomax:

That's the trick.

Craig Lomax:

It's pretty much impossible when we try to do what we really, we try not

Craig Lomax:

to do what we really want inside of us.

Craig Lomax:

it's almost impossible.

Craig Lomax:

We can beat our head against the wall side.

Craig Lomax:

Don't do it.

Craig Lomax:

Don't do it.

Craig Lomax:

Don't do it.

Craig Lomax:

Don't do it.

Craig Lomax:

And we're still don't think it don't think it don't think it don't.

Craig Lomax:

We can say that a thousand times.

Craig Lomax:

It doesn't matter.

Craig Lomax:

As soon as we stop saying, don't think it we're going to start thinking it.

Craig Lomax:

The trick is to turn our back on it, completely.

Craig Lomax:

And to do that, we've gotta have something else we're looking at.

Craig Lomax:

And the something else we're looking at is caring about other people.

Craig Lomax:

When we actually care about others, focus on loving them in a way that

Craig Lomax:

brings out compassion, because we see the needs that they have.

Craig Lomax:

And when you mix caring for someone and seeing their needs,

Craig Lomax:

then you become compassionate.

Craig Lomax:

And when you do that, if you act upon that, we call it service, right?

Craig Lomax:

You're doing something.

Craig Lomax:

And then that leads inevitably to more and more responsibilities.

Craig Lomax:

And if you're faithful with those and you continue to grow in your

Craig Lomax:

skills and in your ability to take on more and more responsibility,

Craig Lomax:

you actually become respected.

Craig Lomax:

And at the same time, and with that respect, you have influence.

Craig Lomax:

And if you look at it a little differently, along with respect, you

Craig Lomax:

also have relevancy as you look back and see, wow, look, I was doing something for

Craig Lomax:

somebody else and it worked and I made an impact on the world and it was good.

Craig Lomax:

And aside from pride, aside from those other things, we, we feel relevant.

Craig Lomax:

We feel like we've made a difference and an impact on the world.

Craig Lomax:

And that, I believe, is legitimate reason to feel good.

Craig Lomax:

I think that's a great reason to feel good.

Craig Lomax:

And I, I can turn around and destroy that in a few seconds or diminish it in

Craig Lomax:

a few seconds by saying, okay, what's.

Craig Lomax:

David had been doing lately.

Craig Lomax:

Like I just knocked this thing out over the last couple months because

Craig Lomax:

I really cared about these people, and I did, this major impact.

Craig Lomax:

David, let's talk about what you've been doing.

Craig Lomax:

How do, how have you been making great impacts?

Craig Lomax:

And if I'm measuring my value based on David's performance now I've just

Craig Lomax:

thrown at least part of that relevancy away, that those feelings of fulfillment

Craig Lomax:

and traded them off for pride.

Craig Lomax:

And now I'm focused on performance.

Craig Lomax:

I'm focused on these other things in my next move...

Craig Lomax:

trying, okay, how can I get beat David?

Craig Lomax:

How can I have a podcast that's better than David's?

Craig Lomax:

How could I be better at communicating than David?

Craig Lomax:

If I can do that?

Craig Lomax:

I'm really going to feel good about myself and then you're back in the pit.

Craig Lomax:

Exactly.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah.

Craig Lomax:

Doesn't take much, at least not for me.

Craig Lomax:

Only a few seconds.

David Shriner-Cahn:

So a little compassion goes a long way.

Craig Lomax:

Especially when we let it carry off into action.

Craig Lomax:

We can be compassionate and still go back to, I am compassionate about this

Craig Lomax:

person, but I am more interested in, feeding my pride and, in whatever way,

Craig Lomax:

For some people it's, I need to make one of the ways that they're measuring

Craig Lomax:

themselves is with money or things Or career titles, Or political relationships.

Craig Lomax:

And I'm not just talking about politics when I say that, but relationships

Craig Lomax:

that make you feel of value, because they're important people somehow.

Craig Lomax:

So there's lots of different ways.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Isn't that something that we're programmed

David Shriner-Cahn:

to feel by our culture?

Craig Lomax:

I think there's all kinds of different primitive

Craig Lomax:

survival instincts that we have.

Craig Lomax:

And again, talking from kind of an Ingram perspective.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah.

Craig Lomax:

Some of us are really survival wise.

Craig Lomax:

We're going to really focus on our own.

Craig Lomax:

Our self-preservation.

Craig Lomax:

Some of us are going to really focus our survival on a one-on-one

Craig Lomax:

relationships and others are going to be more mindful of a larger group.

Craig Lomax:

And being connected to that larger group.

Craig Lomax:

And so some of us have, are stronger in one of those than the theory is all of

Craig Lomax:

us are stronger in at least one of those.

Craig Lomax:

And the other ones have, are very behind us, but they're all instincts.

Craig Lomax:

yeah, I think it's natural.

Craig Lomax:

I think it's, it doesn't mean that it's unhealthy when we're, when we're over,

Craig Lomax:

over focused on one of them, right?

Craig Lomax:

If I'm over focused on self preservation and just taking care of my personal

Craig Lomax:

needs and making sure I have the tools and things within my power to do things,

Craig Lomax:

and I'm not, and I'm not connecting with others well, I'm outta balance and

Craig Lomax:

I'm going to reap the results of that.

Craig Lomax:

And if I'm really just super political and wow, I gotta be connected to the

Craig Lomax:

group and I gotta be a part of this.

Craig Lomax:

And if that's my primary thing, then I'm going to be weak as well.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Craig, if there is one piece of advice that you could give

David Shriner-Cahn:

someone like yourself who is making a transition from a long successful career

David Shriner-Cahn:

in an organizational setting to going out on her or his own as a consultant coach or

David Shriner-Cahn:

someone in an advisory role, and you want to really have impact in a positive way,

David Shriner-Cahn:

what piece of advice would you offer them?

Craig Lomax:

David.

Craig Lomax:

I think the most important one, is what I've said is caring and, people say,

Craig Lomax:

listeners might be thinking right now.

Craig Lomax:

that goes without saying, I don't think it does.

Craig Lomax:

I don't think it actually does go without saying, I think the level of caring

Craig Lomax:

I'm talking about is where you make all of your decision, based on that.

Craig Lomax:

You don't forget about the other things that you need, and

Craig Lomax:

that need to be a part of it.

Craig Lomax:

You're mindful of those.

Craig Lomax:

But if you focus on caring about the people that you it'll help,

Craig Lomax:

you decide where you want to go.

Craig Lomax:

With what you want to do, it will help you understand and motivate you to get

Craig Lomax:

really good at whatever you're doing.

Craig Lomax:

And it will, it'll wake you up in the morning and help you get your

Craig Lomax:

feet on the ground, day after day.

Craig Lomax:

And it's also going to hold you accountable, to being ethical and

Craig Lomax:

doing the right thing day to day.

Craig Lomax:

Where it gets really tempting, if you forget about that motive, if that motive

Craig Lomax:

isn't primary, then it's yeah, this isn't the best, but it's going to, I'm

Craig Lomax:

going to make a lot more money this way.

Craig Lomax:

It may be not the best for my client, but it's okay for my client and I'm

Craig Lomax:

going to make a whole lot more money.

Craig Lomax:

Those kind of questions seem reasonable ones to balance in a, from a normal

Craig Lomax:

perspective and it, and they don't throw out the concept of caring,

Craig Lomax:

but when you put caring first.

Craig Lomax:

Then the answer's clear.

Craig Lomax:

Absolutely not.

Craig Lomax:

It doesn't matter how much more money I'm going to make, unless I turn to my client

Craig Lomax:

and say, this would be better for you, but I'd rather have this because I'm going

Craig Lomax:

to make a hundred thousand dollars more.

Craig Lomax:

The and the client goes, Hey, let's do you know, let's cooperate on this.

Craig Lomax:

Let's do that.

Craig Lomax:

maybe there's a way there, but,

David Shriner-Cahn:

You know what, I've yet to meet a service

David Shriner-Cahn:

provider who has tried that line

Craig Lomax:

yeah, because the answer's usually pretty obvious, right?

Craig Lomax:

It's oh, that's thanks for sharing that you actually, think that way, but yeah.

Craig Lomax:

I'd like to have the better product I'd like to have what's better

Craig Lomax:

for me because that's your job and that's what I'm paying you for.

Craig Lomax:

So yeah, give me that.

Craig Lomax:

So now what's interesting, David is that some people may, some of our

Craig Lomax:

listeners might be going well, wait a second, that's really great Craig,

Craig Lomax:

but I don't really care, that much.

Craig Lomax:

Like I'm not into helping people like that.

Craig Lomax:

I think that's for some people and I think that's really fair

Craig Lomax:

and honest way of thinking.

Craig Lomax:

I think that's all of us at some point.

Craig Lomax:

And I think there is a way to, to adjust that, and that

Craig Lomax:

adjustment is with gratitude.

Craig Lomax:

And I know that's a, it's become a popular, word for good reason, it can

Craig Lomax:

be helpful in many different ways.

Craig Lomax:

I'm talking about a specific kind of gratitude that says I'm grateful,

Craig Lomax:

I'm not just grateful that I, that the mayonnaise is on the table.

Craig Lomax:

I'm grateful for the hands of the person who put the mayonnaise's on the table.

Craig Lomax:

For not just the hands, I'm actually grateful for the heart behind the hands

Craig Lomax:

that put the mayonnaise on the table, even though I'm in this restaurant,

Craig Lomax:

and this person doesn't even know.

Craig Lomax:

And I don't know the owner of this restaurant, I can actually connect

Craig Lomax:

and say, wow, you know what?

Craig Lomax:

The owner of this restaurant created a system where I could

Craig Lomax:

have mayonnaise on my table.

Craig Lomax:

I'm thinking he actually cares about me.

Craig Lomax:

I'm believing that he cares about me.

Craig Lomax:

And I'm grateful for that.

Craig Lomax:

I'm grateful for that heart and the waitress.

Craig Lomax:

I think she actually cares for me too, unless she's been really

Craig Lomax:

clear that she doesn't, right.

Craig Lomax:

I'm going to take that and say, okay, I'll take that.

Craig Lomax:

When I'm driving across a bridge, I can actually have that same

Craig Lomax:

perspective of the people who built the bridge, 130 years ago.

Craig Lomax:

And that can help, that help changes me as a person where I become more capable.

Craig Lomax:

The resulting impact is as I receive that love, I let that love come into me.

Craig Lomax:

That's what I see gratitude as is being receptive of the

Craig Lomax:

love that was behind the gift.

Craig Lomax:

And when I do that, I, it opens up capacity in me to care about other people.

Craig Lomax:

So I guess that would be my advice.

Craig Lomax:

Be grateful.

Craig Lomax:

And let that take the natural course of it, of you becoming more and more

Craig Lomax:

compassionate about other people.

David Shriner-Cahn:

And on, on that note, which I think is a great way

David Shriner-Cahn:

to end this discussion, I'm grateful that you have come on the show.

David Shriner-Cahn:

I think this has been a really thoughtful and thought provoking discussion about

David Shriner-Cahn:

what it takes to build a caring practice, as someone in a helping role, whether

David Shriner-Cahn:

it's a coach consultant or some other professional practice if someone wants

David Shriner-Cahn:

to go deeper with anything we've shared today or access any resources you

David Shriner-Cahn:

might have, or get in touch with you, where would be the best place to go.

Craig Lomax:

Yeah.

Craig Lomax:

craig@craiglomax.com is an easy way to do it.

Craig Lomax:

You, you can find me on LinkedIn, but, Craig Lomax works good.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Sounds great.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Craig, I want to thank you so much for taking the time to join us

David Shriner-Cahn:

today on Smashing the Plateau share your insights and again, have a

David Shriner-Cahn:

really thought provoking discussion.

David Shriner-Cahn:

My guest today has been leadership development coach Craig Lomax.

David Shriner-Cahn:

Thank you Craig for joining us.

Craig Lomax:

Thanks, David.

Craig Lomax:

It's been great.

David Shriner-Cahn:

When you visit the Smashing the Plateau website at

David Shriner-Cahn:

smashingtheplateau.com, you'll find a summary of each episode, along with

David Shriner-Cahn:

the links we mention on the show.

David Shriner-Cahn:

On today's episode with Craig Lomax, we learned why Craig believes caring for

David Shriner-Cahn:

our clients is good for our business.

David Shriner-Cahn:

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