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Tamsen Webster Say What They Can't Unhear
Episode 3729th October 2024 • Same Side Selling Podcast • Same Side Selling Podcast
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Ian Altman:

Ian, welcome to the same side selling podcast. I am

Ian Altman:

your host. Ian Altman, they say you always want to surround

Ian Altman:

yourself with people who are smarter than you, and today is

Ian Altman:

no exception. I'm joined by my good friend, Tamsen Webster and

Ian Altman:

tampson, for those of you who are long time listeners,

Ian Altman:

probably remember tam from her book, find your red thread and

Ian Altman:

tampson, I apologize if it was finding or fine, but I No, yeah,

Ian Altman:

exactly

Tamsen Webster:

right. You That was exactly the title of it. So

Ian Altman:

what are the odds? So I get it right. Go figure. Go

Ian Altman:

figure. And I love the notion of the latest book, which is

Ian Altman:

titled, say what they can't unhear. Because if you think

Ian Altman:

about it, those of us in sales are always trying to figure out,

Ian Altman:

what can I say that's going to stick with my client? What are

Ian Altman:

the messages that I'm going to convey that really stick and

Ian Altman:

make it so people remember them and they'll actually say it back

Ian Altman:

to us the way we said it, if not better. So with that, let me

Ian Altman:

welcome you aboard everybody. I want you to meet tam Webster.

Ian Altman:

Hey, Tamsen, hey, hey, good to see you. Thanks for joining. So

Ian Altman:

what was the what was the driving force behind this book?

Ian Altman:

I know that's a boring question, but, but I wanted to know

Ian Altman:

because I was like, Wow, I love the topic of this, but what was

Ian Altman:

it that made you say, Okay, here's, here's what's needed out

Ian Altman:

in the marketplace.

Tamsen Webster:

So really, the driving force behind this was my

Tamsen Webster:

watching our mutual friend Phil M Jones wrap yet another

Tamsen Webster:

audience around his British accented finger. And what I

Tamsen Webster:

realized, because I've seen Phil talk about sales and exactly

Tamsen Webster:

what to say and all of that, and I know he and you are aligned in

Tamsen Webster:

a lot of ways. I was watching him talk about his various

Tamsen Webster:

pieces and philosophies, and I said, you know, so much of what

Tamsen Webster:

he talks about and what you talk about is so good about in

Tamsen Webster:

getting an immediate action, getting action and a yes right

Tamsen Webster:

away, and what I'm not hearing, at least in what he is saying,

Tamsen Webster:

and as I was thinking about what else is in the marketplace, I

Tamsen Webster:

don't see as much and hear as much about how to keep that yes

Tamsen Webster:

as a yes. How do you keep someone how do you get a yes

Tamsen Webster:

that doesn't back away and become part of buyer's remorse?

Tamsen Webster:

How do you get a yes that doesn't turn into a ghost? How

Tamsen Webster:

do you get a yes that doesn't turn into well, you know, the

Tamsen Webster:

you know, procurement said no, right? So, how is it? What are

Tamsen Webster:

those concepts, in a very similar way that Phil presents

Tamsen Webster:

accessible, memorable, quick and to the point do I know from all

Tamsen Webster:

the time that I've spent doing long term change might help

Tamsen Webster:

shift that? So it really was that moment. I'm like, huh, he's

Tamsen Webster:

got these concepts. I'm like, I do too. So I wrote them and

Tamsen Webster:

created nine persuasion Proverbs, as I like to call them

Tamsen Webster:

to really focus on not just action, but sustained action,

Tamsen Webster:

keeping the yes, a yes, yeah. I

Ian Altman:

mean, a lot of what I look at is, in many, in many

Ian Altman:

respects, you're often almost like the messaging whisperer,

Ian Altman:

like, Okay, what do we come up with that that someone hears and

Ian Altman:

they go, Oh, that's really good. That sticks. And I love that.

Ian Altman:

Everything you write about, everything you speak about,

Ian Altman:

there's always a structure behind it. So I'm not surprised

Ian Altman:

that there are nine proverbs that you share. So be before we

Ian Altman:

dive into those, sure, what are some of the mistakes that people

Ian Altman:

make when they're trying to accomplish this? So So

Ian Altman:

presumably, and you'll correct me if I'm wrong, but the goal

Ian Altman:

is, how do I how do I say stuff that's sticky that doesn't then

Ian Altman:

erode and get diluted over time, and people kind of forget and

Ian Altman:

don't care anymore?

Tamsen Webster:

Yes, yep. So I think one of the main big

Tamsen Webster:

mistakes is that we go straight to the what we think will be

Tamsen Webster:

remarkable or sticky or different, without making sure

Tamsen Webster:

that those words that are wrapped around that idea, that

Tamsen Webster:

the idea underneath it is something that people would also

Tamsen Webster:

say yes to. So one of the things I often say to my clients is

Tamsen Webster:

that remarkable may get attention, but relevance keeps

Tamsen Webster:

it and there's a lot of things that we do sometimes to get

Tamsen Webster:

attention to be different, to be a challenger, to be

Tamsen Webster:

controversial with somebody, particularly that we're meeting

Tamsen Webster:

with, perhaps for the first time, so that we can stand out.

Tamsen Webster:

That while they may get that attention to start with, in many

Tamsen Webster:

ways, it works against long term change to begin with. So I would

Tamsen Webster:

say that in addition to focusing on, how do we be different, how

Tamsen Webster:

do we stand out? The other big mistake is focusing on quick

Tamsen Webster:

action rather than long term, sustained changes in thinking or

Tamsen Webster:

behavior, and that oftentimes is a different set of principles.

Ian Altman:

Yeah, and it's interesting, because I think

Ian Altman:

it's one of the things that I. I say, I talk about a lot also,

Ian Altman:

which is very often somebody will say, Oh, here's this thing

Ian Altman:

we want to solve. And old school sales would jump into the

Ian Altman:

solution right away, instead of, well, help me understand why

Ian Altman:

that's important, and what is it you're really trying to solve,

Ian Altman:

and what have you done to try and solve this? And who else is

Ian Altman:

most directly impacted? We unpack all this other stuff that

Ian Altman:

now makes it so that we can come back to them and say, okay, in

Ian Altman:

order to solve that underlying issue and get this outcome, this

Ian Altman:

is what would suggest. But if we didn't do that, if we just jump

Ian Altman:

to the solution, we kind of get this watered down problem that

Ian Altman:

they have that doesn't have a lot of relevance,

Tamsen Webster:

absolutely and and we're also not giving them

Tamsen Webster:

all the pieces of the story that's going to happen in their

Tamsen Webster:

heads, or that actually has to happen in their heads in order

Tamsen Webster:

for it to make sense. I'm sure we talked about this a little

Tamsen Webster:

bit the last time, and it's the second proverb in the book. But

Tamsen Webster:

every decision has a story behind it, right? A story that

Tamsen Webster:

somebody tells themselves. And one of the ways that I talk

Tamsen Webster:

about it in this new book is that every action somebody takes

Tamsen Webster:

ends an internal argument in their heads about why that

Tamsen Webster:

action does or doesn't. Make sense, right? And so if somebody

Tamsen Webster:

chooses you or doesn't choose you, it's because they are

Tamsen Webster:

telling themselves a story about why they should or shouldn't.

Tamsen Webster:

And so the whole idea is, if we only give people the problem and

Tamsen Webster:

the solution, which is just the beginning and the end of the

Tamsen Webster:

story, like that would be a very unsatisfying story. You know, if

Tamsen Webster:

it were a once upon a time story, I often use the Star Wars

Tamsen Webster:

example of like, well, once upon a time, there's a Brady kid

Tamsen Webster:

named Luke, and he saved the galaxy. And you're like, Okay,

Tamsen Webster:

fine, there's no conflict. There's no why would I listen?

Tamsen Webster:

You know? And, and the equivalent is basically saying,

Tamsen Webster:

oh, that's your problem. Here's our solution. And then when we

Tamsen Webster:

when people really want that deeper connection, and the

Tamsen Webster:

connection in between is, why is that the solution? Then,

Tamsen Webster:

oftentimes what we end up doing then is like, benefit bombing

Tamsen Webster:

them and say, well, you're going to get this and you're going to

Tamsen Webster:

get this and you're going to get this and you're going to get

Tamsen Webster:

this, and that you still haven't actually explained why your

Tamsen Webster:

solution would legitimately solve their problem. So they

Tamsen Webster:

you're not giving them all the pieces they need to tell that

Tamsen Webster:

story to themselves, which is absolutely why they can't tell

Tamsen Webster:

it to somebody else either.

Ian Altman:

Yeah, and it's interesting, because I think in

Ian Altman:

my research, a lot of what we find is that it's not that the

Ian Altman:

person hasn't tapped into at some level the problem. Oh,

Ian Altman:

absolutely right. They don't yet believe that it's a really

Ian Altman:

serious problem. So like, wow, this thing kind of happened, and

Ian Altman:

why? You know, we should probably fix that so, so let's

Ian Altman:

go, let's go search for a solution. But it's when the

Ian Altman:

person communicating with them asked the question about, so how

Ian Altman:

long has it been going on? What happens if you can't solve this?

Ian Altman:

What have you tried so far? And what I tell my clients is, look,

Ian Altman:

if they say, Well, I haven't really tried anything else, it's

Ian Altman:

probably not that important to solve, because they haven't

Ian Altman:

tried anything. If it's something important, they say,

Ian Altman:

Well, we tried this, we tried this, this didn't work, that

Ian Altman:

didn't work. And there's research that says the greatest

Ian Altman:

reason why people pick one services vendor over another is

Ian Altman:

how well they feel you understand their situation. So

Ian Altman:

as soon as you jump to the solution, you're talking about

Ian Altman:

yourself, not them, and their favorite topic is them. And if

Ian Altman:

you can convey that you understand and help them

Ian Altman:

understand their predicament, then they're more likely to be

Ian Altman:

open to the solution. So where do these proverbs tie into that

Ian Altman:

kind of stuff? Because I'm sure they do. Yeah. I

Tamsen Webster:

mean, I think what, what it reminds me of is

Tamsen Webster:

the first proverb there, which is that change isn't just an

Tamsen Webster:

action, it's a reaction. Meaning, if we're trying to get

Tamsen Webster:

well, first and foremost, that reaction, that's where you think

Tamsen Webster:

about re, hyphen, action, a true change in thinking or behavior,

Tamsen Webster:

is a repeated action and and one that is internally motivated,

Tamsen Webster:

which is why it has to come in from their side of it has to be

Tamsen Webster:

they. It has to make sense to them based on what they already

Tamsen Webster:

want, what they already know, what they already care about. So

Tamsen Webster:

if we are not focused on that piece and we're just trying to

Tamsen Webster:

get that quick action, then again, we may not get that long

Tamsen Webster:

term. Yes, we may get somebody asked because yes, you've raised

Tamsen Webster:

the stakes, or you've made the pain of the status quo exceed

Tamsen Webster:

the pain of change, or whatever it might be. But also, just to

Tamsen Webster:

your point, it's also reaction to you. Because if you're trying

Tamsen Webster:

to introduce a new perspective on this problem, if you're

Tamsen Webster:

trying to get them to see consequences that they're not

Tamsen Webster:

seeing, if you're trying to reveal to them that there is a

Tamsen Webster:

deeper problem underneath the one that they know about, then

Tamsen Webster:

the biggest source of new information is you, and so much

Tamsen Webster:

of how you approach that change whether or not you make them

Tamsen Webster:

feel worse as a result of what they've done, if you make them

Tamsen Webster:

feel bad about what they've. Doing if you make them, if you

Tamsen Webster:

insult their current vendor, right? By insulting their

Tamsen Webster:

current vendor, your consult, you're insulting them in many

Tamsen Webster:

ways that that can absolutely set you up for failure at the

Tamsen Webster:

beginning. So that's why I made that the first proverb, because

Tamsen Webster:

I think a lot of times we just think that the information is

Tamsen Webster:

enough to make the case on our own, but the approach that we

Tamsen Webster:

take is just as important, because so much of what people

Tamsen Webster:

are reacting to is you,

Ian Altman:

yeah, you know what? I love some of these points,

Ian Altman:

there are a few things that kind of stick out to me. One is this

Ian Altman:

notion of you can never say something negative about the

Ian Altman:

competition or about their current vendor, because if

Ian Altman:

you've done the right job, if you're talking to the right

Ian Altman:

person, they likely made the decision to hire the existing

Ian Altman:

vendor. Say, Well, Who's the idiot who hired these people?

Ian Altman:

And they're like, Well, that would be me. Okay, I'll let

Ian Altman:

myself out. Yeah, exactly. I'll just leave because it's not

Ian Altman:

gonna work. And Deborah and I have adult children, so 25 and

Ian Altman:

23 we didn't fire their pediatrician. It's just our

Ian Altman:

needs changed. We no longer had we no longer had children. We

Ian Altman:

had adults. Yeah, and the pediatrician basically said to

Ian Altman:

our son, look, when you have to shave before coming to the

Ian Altman:

doctor, it's time to you know, skip the pediatrician. You know,

Ian Altman:

who are coming here. It's like, Okay, fair enough, right? So

Ian Altman:

that kind of, that kind of helps to illustrate this notion of, we

Ian Altman:

got to get to that type of issue. We got to get beyond just

Ian Altman:

this notion of, you know, us against them. It's more, how do

Ian Altman:

we get on the same side? How are we trying to solve this puzzle?

Ian Altman:

It's okay, like, the that vendor you chose was probably the best

Ian Altman:

vendor on the planet at that time in your in your situation,

Ian Altman:

that was awesome. And now that your needs have changed, we can

Ian Altman:

expand this to new stuff that you hadn't thought about. And I

Ian Altman:

go, well, that's kind of cool. Okay, exactly. Yeah, we can do

Ian Altman:

something different, and we can get more going on with that.

Ian Altman:

Wow, this is cool. Okay, there's something else to talk about. So

Ian Altman:

the first proverb is this idea of every action is a reaction.

Ian Altman:

Is that? Right?

Tamsen Webster:

Yeah, change isn't just an action, it's a

Tamsen Webster:

reaction.

Ian Altman:

It's a change is just an action, it's a reaction.

Ian Altman:

Which I love, because I often tell people it's like, you can

Ian Altman:

come in and think of the greatest thing, but it's like,

Ian Altman:

it would be analogous to if you were a, if you were someone who

Ian Altman:

did tennis elbow surgery. Yeah, you can't walk in and go, I'm

Ian Altman:

the best at tennis elbow surgery. So why don't we get

Ian Altman:

together and, and let's, let's go through this and, and I've

Ian Altman:

got you scheduled for 10am on Tuesday. Here's some references,

Ian Altman:

because if the person doesn't believe they have tennis elbow.

Ian Altman:

It really doesn't matter. And if the tennis elbow isn't affecting

Ian Altman:

their life, they're not going to subject themselves to surgery.

Ian Altman:

And it's the same thing in this business world, where we're

Ian Altman:

trying to make it so that people understand that exactly. Walk me

Ian Altman:

through the Proverbs that and kind of how this is different

Ian Altman:

thinking for people, because I know that it is because I know

Ian Altman:

the way your brain works, and you're always thinking of stuff

Ian Altman:

that most of us wouldn't think of. Yeah, and, and, and, I don't

Ian Altman:

want you to give away everything in the book, because people

Ian Altman:

should get

Tamsen Webster:

that. They should Well, I'm just giving

Tamsen Webster:

people a little taste here. So the first three Proverbs, we've

Tamsen Webster:

actually talked about two of the three. And so that first one is

Tamsen Webster:

change isn't just an action. It's a reaction, meaning really

Tamsen Webster:

be You control a huge amount about whether or not this is

Tamsen Webster:

going to be a yes or not. So yep, don't you know, take that

Tamsen Webster:

with the responsibility that is, yeah. As I say, your approach

Tamsen Webster:

can just as easily implode a change as inspire one second

Tamsen Webster:

one. Every decision has a story. So what I'm talking about there

Tamsen Webster:

is it's not just an explanation that we're giving people. We

Tamsen Webster:

have to give them an actual case, and I mean that quite

Tamsen Webster:

literally, that they can make to themselves and to other people

Tamsen Webster:

about why that particular action makes sense. Then it's like,

Tamsen Webster:

okay, well, if it's an argument, what is it based on? And that's

Tamsen Webster:

where the third principle comes into play, and that is that the

Tamsen Webster:

principles set patterns. And this is one of the, you know,

Tamsen Webster:

what I'm getting at at this one is that, you know, when we're

Tamsen Webster:

thinking about what we say yes to, and this is, I think, one of

Tamsen Webster:

the places where it's the book really starts to diverge from

Tamsen Webster:

other people's thinking is that these actions, these arguments

Tamsen Webster:

that we agree with, are based on beliefs that we already have.

Tamsen Webster:

And so if we're trying to understand why someone's doing

Tamsen Webster:

whatever they're doing right now, we have to stop and think

Tamsen Webster:

about, well, why would it have made sense to them in the first

Tamsen Webster:

place, and then from there, we can have a much better

Tamsen Webster:

understanding about why something different would so

Tamsen Webster:

those first three are kind of setting the stage for

Tamsen Webster:

understanding how change happens, but it's the next three

Tamsen Webster:

that I think are the most countercultural when it comes to

Tamsen Webster:

sales messaging. Particular

Ian Altman:

so talking before we dive into these next three what

Ian Altman:

I want to know is, so what a I love, how I love how the dogs

Ian Altman:

have figured out how to how to create a reaction.

Tamsen Webster:

Yes, you've Yes, thank you for being patient.

Tamsen Webster:

Yes, this is one of those times where at this point of the day,

Tamsen Webster:

I have to be very careful. We have to be very careful about

Tamsen Webster:

both Tom, my husband and I being on the call at the same time,

Tamsen Webster:

which we are, which means that, no, he can't save me right now

Tamsen Webster:

from this dog that is like now, just getting a constant stream

Tamsen Webster:

of treats so that she doesn't fully interrupt,

Ian Altman:

of course, but, but she's, she's figured out. She's

Ian Altman:

She's clearly read the book. She's

Tamsen Webster:

clearly read the book. This is a very smart, this

Tamsen Webster:

is a very smart dog. This one, well, these breakdowns, is what

Tamsen Webster:

they do. They That's right, yes, she's, yeah, the only thing that

Tamsen Webster:

would make it better is if I were a rabbit, but exactly

Ian Altman:

so. So what? So in these next three, yes, what I'd

Ian Altman:

love for you to kind of lay out is, what is it that people are

Ian Altman:

what is it that people are trying to accomplish? And what

Ian Altman:

do they do typically, versus what are you suggesting? Because

Ian Altman:

what I'm trying to help people with is okay, so if you're

Ian Altman:

trying to accomplish this, and you may typically do this,

Ian Altman:

here's a counterintuitive way to look at it. Yep, you can unpack

Ian Altman:

it however works for you. But that's true. That's what I'd

Ian Altman:

like our listeners to understand

Tamsen Webster:

absolutely well, almost always, if you're coming

Tamsen Webster:

in and you are trying to get a change, if you're trying to get

Tamsen Webster:

the person to change partners, change vendors, to you, you're

Tamsen Webster:

trying to get them to adopt or expand. Let's say, if you're

Tamsen Webster:

trying to do an inside sale and try to get them to expand what

Tamsen Webster:

they're doing, right? There is something that in their mind, in

Tamsen Webster:

your mind, needs to change and and usually the way we think

Tamsen Webster:

about that is, well, then I need to change what they think. I

Tamsen Webster:

need to change what they believe. This is where it goes

Tamsen Webster:

wrong, because, as I say in the fifth proverb, that the deepest

Tamsen Webster:

beliefs are the hardest to shift. We know this intuitively,

Tamsen Webster:

right? The longer somebody believes something, the stronger

Tamsen Webster:

they believe it. But what that means is, is that when you try

Tamsen Webster:

to bring in a new belief, saying, well, that's not your

Tamsen Webster:

problem. This is or you don't want that. You want this or this

Tamsen Webster:

is the real reason this is happening, even if they say yes,

Tamsen Webster:

which is unlikely, because, remember, they're going to say

Tamsen Webster:

yes to things that agree with what they already have agreed

Tamsen Webster:

with. Then even if they do say yes, then you've got this

Tamsen Webster:

little, tiny, weak baby new belief, like the first time it

Tamsen Webster:

gets tested, running up against this 800 pound gorilla of the

Tamsen Webster:

way they have done things to date. So what I have seen now

Tamsen Webster:

work over and over again in sales, messaging, all sorts of

Tamsen Webster:

other messaging, is, instead of trying to challenge their those

Tamsen Webster:

beliefs that are getting in the way, search for another one that

Tamsen Webster:

is stronger that they already have. So what that means

Tamsen Webster:

sometimes is saying, All right, so you don't think you know, if

Tamsen Webster:

I try to actually say, Stop doing this. Do this. Instead,

Tamsen Webster:

unlikely that someone's going to do that. But generally, there is

Tamsen Webster:

something else that they agree as far as how sales work, how

Tamsen Webster:

people work, how maths work, how the world works, that actually

Tamsen Webster:

is much more reliable and supports the changes you're

Tamsen Webster:

trying to make that then when you put those two things in a

Tamsen Webster:

fight, it's much more likely to win.

Ian Altman:

Yeah, and it's, it's one of these things where I

Ian Altman:

often say that our clients will believe 127% of what we say,

Ian Altman:

and, you know, and something less than 50% of what we say. So

Ian Altman:

they're always going to believe more of what, more of what they

Ian Altman:

say than what we say. And so oftentimes we take this approach

Ian Altman:

of, you know, it's, it's not challenging what their beliefs

Ian Altman:

are. It's just more so on a scale of one to 10, how well is

Ian Altman:

that working for you? Yes. And if they go, I don't know, it's

Ian Altman:

probably like a six, really. Why six? Well, because this working,

Ian Altman:

but that isn't okay. So and then using a line from Phil Jones

Ian Altman:

would be well, so how open would you be to considering something

Ian Altman:

different? And now it's like it was their idea to do something

Ian Altman:

different, so it's okay. But if you come in and say, well, doing

Ian Altman:

it that way is going to be awful, they usually are going to

Ian Altman:

be resistant if you say to them. So other clients of ours, when

Ian Altman:

they've done it this way in the past, didn't even realize this

Ian Altman:

was what was happening. And when they've moved this other system,

Ian Altman:

these other great things happen. How possible you think that is

Ian Altman:

in your situation? Then they go, Hey, I got this idea that maybe

Ian Altman:

this would happen. And you're like, oh, it's brilliant that

Ian Altman:

you have that idea. But it's more just about sharing, like,

Ian Altman:

if we share a third party story, someone goes, Oh, yeah, I'm

Ian Altman:

probably a lot like them. If I say to you, you should do it

Ian Altman:

this way, I'm probably going to get resistance if I say other

Ian Altman:

people had this, but that probably doesn't apply to you,

Ian Altman:

right? They're like, well, it totally applies to me. It's the

Ian Altman:

same thing, but it now became their idea. So, you know, this,

Ian Altman:

this notion. Of those deepest beliefs being the hardest ones

Ian Altman:

to change. Totally get that and and too often I see people make

Ian Altman:

a mistake of trying to fight that, and it's a losing battle.

Ian Altman:

If you want to get top results for your team, take a look at

Ian Altman:

these same side, selling Academy. Just visit same side

Ian Altman:

selling.com to learn more. That's

Tamsen Webster:

right. So I say use, use their beliefs in your

Tamsen Webster:

favor. So it's the whole full lot, you know, the whole

Tamsen Webster:

phenomenon is something that's known as cognitive inertia. It's

Tamsen Webster:

like regular inertia. That is like something that, you know,

Tamsen Webster:

body at rest, stays at rest. The thing is, with cognitive

Tamsen Webster:

inertia, it's our beliefs that don't move right? It's that we,

Tamsen Webster:

you know, we stick with the beliefs that we already have and

Tamsen Webster:

the stories that we already tell ourselves. So the thing is,

Tamsen Webster:

like, when you work, and as I say, to be don't challenge

Tamsen Webster:

people's beliefs. Exchange them, exchange them for something that

Tamsen Webster:

they know or that makes more intuitive sense than what

Tamsen Webster:

they're doing now, or functionally, when they put it

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together, like, ah, yeah, based on what I know to be true, based

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on my own experience, your prospect can say, yeah, that

Tamsen Webster:

actually does make more sense. Like I was talking with someone

Tamsen Webster:

who works at a social media management company, and, you

Tamsen Webster:

know, and again, there's lots of options for that, lots of

Tamsen Webster:

different things, so it's hard to stand out in that

Tamsen Webster:

marketplace. So it was funny, because we were on, I was on a

Tamsen Webster:

podcast, and he paused, and he just, he showed a he showed an

Tamsen Webster:

ad for them, and I said, you know, what's so interesting is

Tamsen Webster:

that the case, you know, all these testimonials that you

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picked, all of them talk about kind of the reporting and all of

Tamsen Webster:

that. And I'm sure it's very tempting to say, or our

Tamsen Webster:

reporting is so much better, but this is one of those places

Tamsen Webster:

where they can stand out. Because clearly what's important

Tamsen Webster:

to the folks that they're talking to is visibility, right?

Tamsen Webster:

And the more that you can say like, the greater visibility you

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have into what's working and what's not, the better you can

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manage your social media platforms saying something like

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that, where someone's like, Well, that's true if, yeah, the

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better I can see things, the better decisions I can make.

Tamsen Webster:

Then all of a sudden you've supplanted anything else that

Tamsen Webster:

says what you know. Instead of making it about this program

Tamsen Webster:

versus that program, you're like, Well, now you've made it

Tamsen Webster:

so that visibility means everything for my

Ian Altman:

clients with often find is okay. So if I said to

Ian Altman:

you, oh, here's a better way to do it, the client's gonna say,

Ian Altman:

now we wouldn't want to do that. If you say, Well, it's

Ian Altman:

interesting, because people used to do this now find that this is

Ian Altman:

working better. So how do you think that would be different

Ian Altman:

for you guys? It'd probably be the same for us. Okay? And now

Ian Altman:

it became their idea, the people you're talking about in the

Ian Altman:

social media marketing company, yeah, I think the notion for

Ian Altman:

them of being able to say, for example, so that visibility is

Ian Altman:

important, but if they if their messaging was almost talking

Ian Altman:

more to the problems of other people, and say, you know, a lot

Ian Altman:

of times we had clients who said, in the past, the people

Ian Altman:

they worked with, they didn't have visibility into what was

Ian Altman:

going on, And without that visibility, by the time they

Ian Altman:

realized something was or wasn't working, they had wasted a lot

Ian Altman:

of money on it. So we've changed that to give instant visibility

Ian Altman:

so they can pivot as soon as they start seeing results. How

Ian Altman:

would you guys use that? Now the client goes, Oh, if I had that,

Ian Altman:

I would do X, Y and Z. And now it's like, well, forget about

Ian Altman:

the company I was working with because I had that same problem.

Ian Altman:

You know, we often say that people are highly attuned to the

Ian Altman:

symptoms they're experiencing. They just don't know what the

Ian Altman:

what the condition is that's causing it, or how to treat it,

Ian Altman:

but they know what the superficial symptoms are, and if

Ian Altman:

we can tap into that, then we get their attention. That's

Tamsen Webster:

exactly right. And and by by what I have seen

Tamsen Webster:

is that by articulating that in a way that, again, feels

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universally true, right, like the better visibility that you

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have, the better decisions you can make, right? Like, that's

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what we believe at this company, and so that's why we approach it

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this way. And that's what we've seen with our clients, is that

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when they do X and Y, they see, and that has been just for me in

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my work, as I've been working with folks, you know, with this,

Tamsen Webster:

with particularly with these Proverbs, but in this approach

Tamsen Webster:

of really finding that, you know, I call it a core case like

Tamsen Webster:

this, this, what is the underlying argument for what you

Tamsen Webster:

are, what you're putting out there, like, Why? Why is it that

Tamsen Webster:

you believe this is right, without resorting to features,

Tamsen Webster:

you know, flooding them with features, or, like, benefit

Tamsen Webster:

bombing or anything like that, like, like, really, like, in a

Tamsen Webster:

way that makes intuitive sense to them, what ends up happening

Tamsen Webster:

is that your clients end up saying, Ah, yeah, I agree in

Tamsen Webster:

principle that why this would work, and with that kind of that

Tamsen Webster:

early and really critical, yes, secured, then you can start to

Tamsen Webster:

dive into the details of what it looks like in practice, either

Tamsen Webster:

for other clients or potentially for them, so that you can start

Tamsen Webster:

to go into needs discovery and all of. Yeah,

Ian Altman:

yeah. What I love is that you're, you're giving

Ian Altman:

people insight into how our customers make decisions, yes,

Ian Altman:

and what they need to believe in order to get behind a decision

Ian Altman:

so they can own it. And I think that's what, that's what,

Ian Altman:

obviously, I spend a lot of time with people on which is, look,

Ian Altman:

if you can find someone who says, Yeah, I have this problem,

Ian Altman:

and that problem is costing me a lot, and it's really important

Ian Altman:

for me to solve. Now you have their attention. If someone

Ian Altman:

says, Well, here's this thing I'd like to do, and you start

Ian Altman:

talking about your solution, what you fail to recognize is

Ian Altman:

that they may not really be bought into how big of a deal

Ian Altman:

this is yet. And so your solution, they're like, well,

Ian Altman:

that's kind of cool if, if it was a big problem. Now, the

Ian Altman:

salesperson says, well, but you called me, it must be a big

Ian Altman:

deal. No, they're just like, huh, I got this issue. These

Ian Altman:

guys claim to solve it. Let's see what they got and but

Ian Altman:

they're not bought into it yet. And I think that if we do this

Ian Altman:

right, we're providing our clients with information. So in

Ian Altman:

essence, if we ask the right questions, they'll convince us

Ian Altman:

that things are worth solving. And if we can convince if we can

Ian Altman:

get them to convince us that it's worth solving, they're also

Ian Altman:

convincing themselves. And then all of a sudden, now it's like,

Ian Altman:

Okay, now, now we're on to something where, okay, now we

Ian Altman:

can say something that they can't unhear. Because mostly

Ian Altman:

what we're saying is their ideas. We're just kind of

Ian Altman:

spitting them back to

Tamsen Webster:

them, that's right. And I think where it

Tamsen Webster:

comes and creates this magic, kind of magic elixir between

Tamsen Webster:

them now saying, oh my gosh, I actually have to solve this. And

Tamsen Webster:

you saying, and yes, we've got a way to solve it is by finding

Tamsen Webster:

that way to again, using something that they already know

Tamsen Webster:

to be true to say, All right, so you know, you've got this issue

Tamsen Webster:

that you called with right the way we see it is that in order

Tamsen Webster:

to solve that, we have to solve this thing first. Because let's

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go back to the social media thing, because if you can't

Tamsen Webster:

actually see the results of what you're talking about, you can't

Tamsen Webster:

solve it. So that's why it's been so important for us to make

Tamsen Webster:

sure that when we're working with clients, we're actually

Tamsen Webster:

really focused on visibility. This gets really powerful when

Tamsen Webster:

you can say, but that's not all right when you can actually add

Tamsen Webster:

this other thing that says, because you know, you can have a

Tamsen Webster:

whole bunch of visibility. But if, if, if one thing is showing

Tamsen Webster:

you things in black and white and the other thing is showing

Tamsen Webster:

you in color, then you may not actually be able to match

Tamsen Webster:

anything up. That's why, right? We want to make sure that if

Tamsen Webster:

we're if we are getting visibility, that we have a clear

Tamsen Webster:

view and we're using the same lens on everything that we're

Tamsen Webster:

looking at. So that's why, in our comprehensive system, right,

Tamsen Webster:

x, y and z. So, and then you can again relate that back to the

Tamsen Webster:

client. So it really is this, this piece about, like, going

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back into those, into those beliefs, about using the beliefs

Tamsen Webster:

as the core data that's supporting your case for why you

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and that, I think, is really where this, this approach, goes.

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You know, I think speaking about where we end up going wrong

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sometimes, is we, we? We want to flood them with all the data and

Tamsen Webster:

all the information, all the facts and the figures, but you

Tamsen Webster:

know very much along the lines of what you said, they're going

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to believe their own experience most. So leverage their

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experience, leverage what they know to be true, and explain why

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your product works based on their experience. And then

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you've got to really that's what becomes very difficult for them

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to unhear. When they're like, oh, this solves a problem that I

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know I want solves, and the way that it works is based on

Tamsen Webster:

principles that make sense to me, that I believe are true. And

Tamsen Webster:

from there, it becomes a lot easier for you to start

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anchoring the more more practical and tactical pieces of

Tamsen Webster:

what you've already presented.

Ian Altman:

Yeah, it's a whole notion of, if we ask the right

Ian Altman:

questions, and we give the client the free will, and the

Ian Altman:

client makes a decision to do something that makes sense to

Ian Altman:

them, then it wasn't like we talked them into something that

Ian Altman:

they're gonna talk themselves out of, right? They talk

Ian Altman:

themselves into it. And the best way to do that is by us being

Ian Altman:

slightly skeptical. That says, Are you sure this is worth

Ian Altman:

solving? Like, is this am I missing something? And then they

Ian Altman:

either say, no, no, it is. You don't understand. But if we say,

Ian Altman:

Wow, that's probably a really big deal, usually the client

Ian Altman:

goes, yeah, it's not such a big deal, even if it is because they

Ian Altman:

feel pressure from someone else. I used to do this exercise with

Ian Altman:

people pre covid That now is less popular to do, which is I

Ian Altman:

would have people put their hands palm to palm against

Ian Altman:

someone else. And I gave instruction cards, and half of

Ian Altman:

them said to gently push against the other person. And half them

Ian Altman:

said, push slightly, and then slowly, draw your hands away

Ian Altman:

from the other people. Yeah. And if you looked in the room, you

Ian Altman:

could not tell the difference of who had which card, because the

Ian Altman:

people who pushed got resistance, and the people

Ian Altman:

pulled their hands away, the clients tended to follow. And it

Ian Altman:

basically came down to it. If you create something of interest

Ian Altman:

and slowly pull it away, people will want to follow it. If you

Ian Altman:

have something of interest, but you push, you tend to get

Ian Altman:

resistance. And this whole idea of being able to say what they

Ian Altman:

can't unhear as I hear it, is this notion of if we tap into

Ian Altman:

their own beliefs, if we tap into the stories that they can

Ian Altman:

that they can believe, if we give them this idea of these

Ian Altman:

principles that form patterns, all of a sudden, now we've got a

Ian Altman:

framework that says, Okay, I believe this. This is something

Ian Altman:

that isn't foreign to me. I can buy into this concept. Am I? Oh,

Ian Altman:

absolutely, close.

Tamsen Webster:

That's 100% it. I mean, the whole philosophy of

Tamsen Webster:

the book is saying, well, all right, really what we're trying

Tamsen Webster:

to get people is, is to buy in and sales literally buy it,

Tamsen Webster:

right? We want them to become emotionally intellectually

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invested, so that they put the money behind it. And if we

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operate from this understanding that, you know, every every

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decision like that, every choice, every Yes, is the

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product of an argument, then we need to make sure that we're

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supplying that argument, and if the arguments we agree with are

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based on on what on the beliefs we already have, then the whole

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philosophy of the book is really what it comes down to. It is

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that if we're trying to build buy in, we need to be building

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these arguments that are based on what people already want,

Tamsen Webster:

already believe. So I think where you know you I mean, I've

Tamsen Webster:

always loved so much your approach, and I really love

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that, that that visual of, if you give them something

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interesting, they'll follow. What this book really does is

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say, make sure that whatever they followed will they will

Tamsen Webster:

continue to follow. Because, as you also pointed out, there are

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those times where people will say yes, either to get you to

Tamsen Webster:

stop talking, or because they don't want to lose face. And

Tamsen Webster:

there are some principles in the book that speak to that. So one

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of them, the fourth one, is that identity is the greatest

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influencer. And what I mean, and what I'm talking about there, is

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that one of the most reliable desires that all humans have is

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to be seen as smart, capable and good. They may not believe that

Tamsen Webster:

they are, though many do, but they really want to be seen that

Tamsen Webster:

way. They want to be seen as smart, capable and good and long

Tamsen Webster:

term, that desire will override anything else, which is why, if

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we make someone feel stupid for something that they've done in

Tamsen Webster:

the past, if we are using, if we are introducing pain into the

Tamsen Webster:

initial sales discussion to get them to act quickly, and yet,

Tamsen Webster:

what they stop and think about it, they're like, oh, actually

Tamsen Webster:

no, I am too smart, capable of a good person to have done that,

Tamsen Webster:

then we may get the initial movement, but it will not be an

Tamsen Webster:

initial movement that stays that way, because that desire to be

Tamsen Webster:

seen as smart, capable and good, again, not by you the

Tamsen Webster:

salesperson, but by the people they have to see every day, is

Tamsen Webster:

going to take over. And so it's, it's, it's really just asking

Tamsen Webster:

people to think beyond that first moment. And it's and great

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salespeople already know this. It was one of the reasons why I

Tamsen Webster:

was so delighted that Matthew Dixon, the co author the

Tamsen Webster:

Challenger sale, gave me my cover blurb for it. Because, in

Tamsen Webster:

a lot of ways, you know, the whole idea of challenging what

Tamsen Webster:

people's beliefs is about is useful, if, right, if, if, if

Tamsen Webster:

we're doing it in a way that helps them validate their smart,

Tamsen Webster:

capable and goodness, and doesn't make it conditional,

Tamsen Webster:

which is what I think a lot of times we, perhaps

Tamsen Webster:

unintentionally, do, while saying, Well, you will be smart,

Tamsen Webster:

capable and good if you make this decision rather than you

Tamsen Webster:

are. And there's why this decision makes sense.

Ian Altman:

Yeah, we often teach this notion that the reason why

Ian Altman:

people often stick with an existing vendor, even if they've

Ian Altman:

messed up, and even if the new vendor comes in and shows how

Ian Altman:

they're gonna be better, is because one, they have to fire

Ian Altman:

the vendor they liked enough to hire to begin with, yes. And

Ian Altman:

two, they have to acknowledge that maybe they made a mistake,

Ian Altman:

and most humans don't want to do either. So they go back to their

Ian Altman:

existing vendor and say, Hey, these other guys said that we

Ian Altman:

should be doing it this way. So why don't you take a look? And

Ian Altman:

you're like, why did they not switch to us? And it's because

Ian Altman:

we made them feel badly. If instead, you say, look, these

Ian Altman:

guys were probably the best vendor to pick at the time. And

Ian Altman:

what some people found is that just they've gotten so

Ian Altman:

sophisticated as a company that those vendors can't service them

Ian Altman:

anymore. You think that's possible with you? Oh yeah,

Ian Altman:

that's probably true. Now it's like, I didn't make a mistake.

Ian Altman:

It's that the other vendor can no longer support me, and

Ian Altman:

that's, that's what's happened. So

Tamsen Webster:

validate that, validate that original choice,

Tamsen Webster:

because then oftentimes it'll also reveal something that they

Tamsen Webster:

value and they don't want to lose. And so if there's a way

Tamsen Webster:

that you can build whatever they are, you know what they don't

Tamsen Webster:

want to lose, make sure that you are emphasizing how that is

Tamsen Webster:

still present in the switch. That can help too.

Ian Altman:

That's awesome. So where do people get the book,

Ian Altman:

aside from everywhere, and where do they connect with you and

Ian Altman:

learn more about what you're doing? Yeah.

Tamsen Webster:

So they can get the book. The easiest way to

Tamsen Webster:

remember it is little changebook.com where they can

Tamsen Webster:

get all sorts of aspects of it, because sometimes people don't

Tamsen Webster:

remember say what they can't done here, I know irony, but

Tamsen Webster:

little changebook.com and to find out and more along these

Tamsen Webster:

lines of thinking, I recently founded the message design

Tamsen Webster:

institute. So message design institute.com. Will take you to

Tamsen Webster:

all things persuasive. Message design,

Ian Altman:

listen. Message design, I get, I still refer to

Ian Altman:

you as the message whisperer, because I work that's I feel

Ian Altman:

like that notion, that notion of, just like coming up with

Ian Altman:

stuff that sticks, is is incredibly valuable. So thanks

Ian Altman:

for sharing this. I can't wait to read the book and and I'm

Ian Altman:

sure our listeners will love it as well. If it's, if it's half

Ian Altman:

as good as find your red thread, then I guess find your red

Ian Altman:

thread would be twice as good as this. That's not the right

Ian Altman:

that's not the right example. But if it's, but if it's, if

Ian Altman:

it's half as good, it's still going to be amazing. So, and I'm

Ian Altman:

sure it's even better. So thanks so much for joining me. Thank

Tamsen Webster:

you so much. Ian, you.

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