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Untangling Limiting Beliefs
Episode 9215th November 2022 • The Business Animal • Kimberly Beer & Cara Taylor Swift
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Limiting beliefs can hold us back in both business and life. On today’s podcast, Kim and Cara get vulnerable and honest about the limiting belief challenges they’ve faced in their businesses. You’ll learn how to recognize your own limiting beliefs and how to go about resolving them.

Transcripts

Jaz:

Welcome to The Business Animal podcast. Saddle up for a

Jaz:

gallop to the top of the animal industry, where you'll learn how

Jaz:

to tame your wild business beast, with tips, techniques,

Jaz:

and tools that will take overwhelm to obedience school.

Jaz:

And have you wagging your tail with joy. And now your hosts,

Jaz:

Kim Beer, and Cara Taylor Swift

Kimberly Beer:

Hey there business animals. It's Kim with

Kimberly Beer:

Be More Business

Cara Taylor Swift:

and Cara with Fast Horse photography. Hi, Kim,

Cara Taylor Swift:

how are you today?

Kimberly Beer:

I'm doing well today Cara my brain is like

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going a million miles an hour though. I I'm like in full on

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thinking mode. Like I love this. I love that feeling. I get so

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excited because I this is when all the ideas come. And I just

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absolutely love the ideas. Oh, that's awesome.

Cara Taylor Swift:

Yeah, mornings are really good for me

Cara Taylor Swift:

that way too. I will tell you I've had too much caffeine this

Cara Taylor Swift:

morning. So bouncing a little bit in my seat, and I'm gonna do

Cara Taylor Swift:

the best I can to make it through without having to take a

Cara Taylor Swift:

potty break. So yeah, let's get rolling on this episode. What

Cara Taylor Swift:

are we talking about today? So

Kimberly Beer:

today, we're talking about untangling

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limiting beliefs. And I think this is a very common thing that

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I see in entrepreneurs, sometimes they don't even

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realize they have a limiting belief. And it can really,

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really stymie people. One of the reasons that I chose to go

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through some very intensive training to become a gestalt

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assist, is because as a business consultant, you know, I would

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give my clients like, really decided roadmaps to get their

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business where they wanted it to be. And then they wouldn't

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follow through with that, like they wouldn't get where they

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wanted to go. And when I really asked myself why. And when I

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asked them why. And when we took a deep look at it. A lot of

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times underneath all of that was a limiting belief, and not the

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only barrier. But it certainly is a very popular one. And until

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the limiting belief is eradicated makes it really,

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really hard for that person to be successful in their business.

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And what happened for me because I was in that same place, right?

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I had so many limiting beliefs, and Gestalt. When I met Melissa

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Pearson, touched by a horse 10 years, 12 years ago, actually,

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it's been more like 14 Good grief, a time just flies when

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you're having fun, right time flies. So when I met her all

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those years ago, she helped me be able to eradicate those

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things for myself. And I wanted to be able to offer that to my

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clients. And in the episode today, I really want to talk

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about how specific limiting beliefs really get into your

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head to where you don't even realize they're there. And they

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trail your forward progress. So my hope for this episode is that

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by the time we finish talking today that the people that are

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listening, understand what a limiting belief is, and they can

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start to pick up on some of them in their own lives. And Cara and

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I are both going to give you guys examples of our limiting

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beliefs that we've butted up against in our own business and

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in our own lives. So yeah, I'm ready to dig in. Are you ready

Kimberly Beer:

to dig in?

Cara Taylor Swift:

Yeah, let's dig in. Why don't you start by

Cara Taylor Swift:

defining what a limiting belief is, because I think that would

Cara Taylor Swift:

be a good place to start. Because I don't know when I

Cara Taylor Swift:

think about limiting beliefs, a lot of different things come to

Cara Taylor Swift:

my brain and the forefront of that is that this is something

Cara Taylor Swift:

that can be crippling, it is easy, crippling to forward

Cara Taylor Swift:

movement for a small business owner, especially if you're a

Cara Taylor Swift:

solopreneur and you don't have other people behind you that are

Cara Taylor Swift:

like helping move you forward and are helping you recognize

Cara Taylor Swift:

where that's coming from. So let's start with just the

Cara Taylor Swift:

definition.

Kimberly Beer:

So I believe the best way for me to tell you kind

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of where they show up in your life is when you are approached

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with something like let's say I am on a mentoring call with you,

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Cara and warto doing photography mentoring, and you're talking to

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me about sales and you look at my charges what I'm charging

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people in my packages and all of that stuff and you say and you

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say Kim you really need to be charging more for your

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photography and I kick back with well I can't charge more because

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okay, that start of that because at that sense but there but we

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did a whole episode back in season one I thought was great

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about setting on your but that's very similar. That's that's a

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lot of where those beliefs start to show up. So when you feel

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yourself answering a question that somebody is asking of you

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and you say I can't do that, because what follows the because

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is usually related to your limiting belief. Now in To

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start, we have foreground and background, right? So the

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foreground is what you're experiencing in the moment. And

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then the background is where you picked that up. So back in the

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background is where that limiting belief got born. And

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that's where you need to go back and fix it. Because no amount of

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you if I have a limiting belief about charging people money, and

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it can be a ton of things, and we're going to cover some more

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of those in our own personal lives. But if I have that

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limiting belief, you can't tell me to get out of that, right?

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You can't say, Kim to raise your prices, I won't do it, I won't

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market it, there'll be something that blocks me from being able

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to get to that point until I go back. And I untangle that thread

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that went all the way back to my childhood, when my parents told

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me that in this didn't happen, necessarily, to me in quite this

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way, but told me that I wasn't valuable, okay, so or that what

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I had to contribute wasn't valuable, there's a lot of lot

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to do with value or money or something in there. So what you

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have to produce is it worth that on and on and on, it can happen

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in a trillion different ways. And it's truly unique. For every

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single one of us out there in the world, we all had a

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different family experience. We all have similar veins, but it

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still is very unique to that particular makeup of our family,

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our childhood experiences are adult experiences. It's an

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interesting of this whole thing that we come into life with all

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of our different experiences add to this. All right, so let me

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give you an example of how this showed up in my business in a

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very negative way, when I was very first becoming a

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photographer. So I was actually a photographer back in the days

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when we had film. And part of the process that had to go

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through to be able to get the photos to the client was I had

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to turn all of my film over to someone else. And that person

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processed the film. And that gave me back the negatives and

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the photos primarily because I hated darkroom work. And I

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always screwed it up, I am not a Back then I thought that there

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was another reason I thought I was just dumb. Vic didn't

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understand science. Now I know I just am not a precise

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individual. And processing film is a very precise procedure, you

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have to be perfect with it. So that understanding or thought

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that I was not capable of processing the film, I got this

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anxiety, believe around processing film. And it became

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really apparent to me one day, so anytime I dropped, let me go

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back. Anytime I dropped the film off at the processor, I would

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purposely agonize over it. I mean, like if I felt like if I

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didn't worry a certain amount about that film coming out good

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that it would come out back. Like I say with those irrational

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fear of that it became super apparent to worry became part of

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your problem, worry became part of my process. And it was not

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good worry. And I noticed this the very first time this really

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like hit me in the face was I had hired an assistant. And I

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sent her to the processor to drop off some film. And I like

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yelled at her because she was not didn't have enough anxiety

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about the film processing that did not create a good employee

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employer relationship. As a matter of fact, that

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relationship ended very shortly after that, because of my

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irrational limiting belief around the ability of someone

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else to be able to process my film. So it was a real real

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problem to worry as much as I worry and like that had

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something to do with that film getting produced. And it was a

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limiting belief around the processor around my own ability

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as a photographer to produce a good image. I mean, it just tore

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up a lot of employee employer relationships. It really made me

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not want to be a photographer. It made me not want to take

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clients because it was such a crazy period. I didn't do

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weddings. I did like two weddings on film. And I wouldn't

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do another one because that was just it was too much. I couldn't

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take it. So it really limited my business approach. I couldn't

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handle the pressure. So that's a way one of these beliefs that we

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get in our head shows up and I had to trace that all of the way

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back to my mother in graining in me if you don't work hard if you

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don't have a certain level of anxiety about what But you're

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producing in the world, it won't be done right. And so that's an

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example. It's a crazy example. But sorry for the little trip

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inside my head. Yeah,

Cara Taylor Swift:

but it's a good one. Yeah. It's a good one,

Cara Taylor Swift:

though, because it talks about how it was as a business owner,

Cara Taylor Swift:

how it was affecting your bottom line, because you weren't able

Cara Taylor Swift:

to take certain jobs. You were fearful of jobs, you weren't

Cara Taylor Swift:

taking jobs because of it. And then that affects the whole

Cara Taylor Swift:

process. Yeah, you know, I mean, it makes so much sense. And then

Cara Taylor Swift:

you were able to follow it back to where that came from. And,

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and I think that that's not, while the film example itself is

Cara Taylor Swift:

unique to you that that limiting belief around being able to do

Cara Taylor Swift:

something well is not uncommon for small business owners. Yep.

Cara Taylor Swift:

So I'm

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going to give the big three now. Because I want to

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talk about recognizing limiting beliefs and when they're holding

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you back. So and that's number one, because you've got to

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recognize them. When I yelled at my employee, I didn't realize

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that's what I was doing. I felt just like a bad boss, because I

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didn't realize all of that was like a thread that was tied

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together. And I feel terrible for that. That's been like 30

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years ago, I feel bad, even today, 30 years later that that

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happened in that situation. So you've got to recognize when

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it's holding you back, because otherwise it just keeps

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compounding right. The second one is to follow it back to its

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root and bust it. So that's the second of the big three. And

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then the third one is to make a strategy to not allow that

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limiting belief back into your life. And that sometimes takes a

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little bit of effort that you maybe need some help with. And

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we're going to talk about that as well. But let's talk about

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recognizing these limiting beliefs. Like I said, anytime

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you start sentences with, I can't do that I could never or

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that won't work, that usually is a really good indication that

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that's going to be followed by a limiting belief anytime you use

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the word but what follows the but is typically a limiting

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belief that eradicates whatever came before the butt. So anytime

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you use, but in a sentence, you negate everything that comes in

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front of it. And it's a really good way to bust yourself on

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knowing that that's a limiting belief that's coming up. Another

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way to understand a limiting belief, especially if you're in

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a coaching or mentoring situation, and somebody offers

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you a suggestion. And you feel resistance coming up in your

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body. Like somebody says you should raise your prices and use

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you start to get stiff or defensive in some way. Do you

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feel that stiffness in your body you feel maybe your gut starts

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to roll a little bit or your brain starts to spin out of

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control a little? That's a good indication that there is

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something going on there. You start tuning people out? Yeah,

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tuning people out ignoring them? Or if you say something like to

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yourself, like, I would never do that. So yes, Cara can charge

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that amount of money. But I can't do that. Because my market

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wouldn't allow for that to happen, or my market just isn't

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the same? Or do you start looking for divisions between

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you and whatever was suggested, right? That's a typical thing

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that happens in a mentoring coaching relationship. And what

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you guys are doing is you're paying for these relationships

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to build your business to increase your bottom line. And

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when that resistance comes up, you need to be very clear with

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the person you're working with to say, hey, I have a resistance

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to that. What can we do to like get that broken down? That's a

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really important piece of this puzzle in recognizing that

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because you do oftentimes need some help and getting that

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recognized and following that breadcrumb trail all the way

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back. So Cara, when we were prepping for this episode, I

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will tell you money for entrepreneurs tends to be a

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huge, huge place where we have limiting beliefs. Yep. And you

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shared with me that that was something you've struggled with.

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And I would love to give you a time to share a little bit about

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that, from your point of view.

Cara Taylor Swift:

Yeah, charging people money for

Cara Taylor Swift:

services was a big limiting belief for me in the early days

Cara Taylor Swift:

of my business mentioned on the show before I did not didn't

Cara Taylor Swift:

grow up with any money. We were pretty poor. My earliest

Cara Taylor Swift:

memories are of worrying about money. Like those are my

Cara Taylor Swift:

earliest memories as a child. So for me when I started charging

Cara Taylor Swift:

for my photography, my prices were way too low. I wasn't

Cara Taylor Swift:

making money, I was giving away my time and services. And when I

Cara Taylor Swift:

realized that if I was going to be successful and able to keep

Cara Taylor Swift:

working as an entrepreneur as owning my own business that I

Cara Taylor Swift:

had to make changes around my pricing. It was terrifying

Cara Taylor Swift:

because I didn't think that other people could afford heard

Cara Taylor Swift:

services that they could afford the services and trade afford

Cara Taylor Swift:

what I needed to charge. And I realize not on my own, I talked

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to a lot of people about it, I did some trial and error around

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just building confidence with pricing, I did a lot of things

Cara Taylor Swift:

to get there. But I realized that that is something I was

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gonna have to do for my business, but I could see where

Cara Taylor Swift:

it was coming from, because I remember earliest memories,

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there being money stress in my household, and where that comes

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from. And I never want other people to feel that my business

Cara Taylor Swift:

is a money stressor for them. So I had to separate those two

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things, I had to as Kim says, I had to untangle it and kind of

Cara Taylor Swift:

pull myself back to where that was coming from and rethink. And

Cara Taylor Swift:

I'll tell you, once I made those changes, and confidently put my

Cara Taylor Swift:

pricing out there, the confidence only grew from there,

Cara Taylor Swift:

because when people start booking you at those prices,

Cara Taylor Swift:

they start purchasing your product at those prices, you

Cara Taylor Swift:

know that you're moving in the right direction. And I will tell

Cara Taylor Swift:

you, with the mentoring that I do with photographers that are

Cara Taylor Swift:

working on changing their pricing structures that are

Cara Taylor Swift:

trying to grow their businesses, their photography business to be

Cara Taylor Swift:

actually profitable. This is probably the most common thing

Cara Taylor Swift:

that comes up that we have to work through mindset around at

Cara Taylor Swift:

the beginning of our mentoring,

Kimberly Beer:

I think it's probably if we were to actually

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be able to research it, my guess is it's probably the reason most

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businesses fail like that a small business failure rate is

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so high, I would say this is probably at the root of a lot of

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that. And it can have to do like in care a situation where the

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family that you grew up in struggled to be able to make

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ends meet. And money was always a topic of conversation, or

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maybe your parents fought about money a lot. And so you attach

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this like value to money, of causing stress. And sometimes it

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has to do with your own value. For me, I have a really twisted

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childhood story that I cannot get into on a podcast, or we'll

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be here for the next two hours for me to explain it. It's very

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complicated, it has lots of twists and turns, someday I will

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write a book and everyone can read it, because I'm very

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transparent about it. But it does get complicated. But let's

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just say that I had a value attached to my physical being

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when I was brought into this world. And that value like was

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commonly mentioned to me as a kid. And because that value got

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attached to me, I have a really limiting belief around my value

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as a human being. And that translates to my value as a

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photographer or a business consultant, or a rancher or

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whatever that happens to be. Yep, so that very ingrained,

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ancestral, like handed down value situation really affected

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me. And it caused my first business to go bankrupt. Because

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money was this weird thing in my world, that I had all these

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limiting beliefs around it, but was more than one it was a pile

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of them. And I'll be flat honest with you, I'm still sorting

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through a bunch of those, I really truly am trying to find

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my peace with it money. Another thing that can happen is like if

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your parents instill in you or someone instills in you that you

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have to work hard for your money. That was another thing. I

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think that was probably a little bit at the root of my irrational

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fear of the film processing thing. It felt too easy to hand

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that off to somebody else and a beautiful product come back. I

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didn't do anything for that. So my way of compensating for that

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was to make myself in a frenzy over it. So I felt like I worked

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really hard for the result that came back. And this is another

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thing I think that I see. Well, I don't think I know I see it in

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a lot of my clients where you know that money for nothing or

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it seems super easy. It's hard to celebrate that when it comes

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in I know for like you and me in the photography world. And we're

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using that as a lot as example today. But I think it fits in

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most people that aren't photographers can translate it

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if you do. Like I don't know about you. I think we were

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having a discussion the other day where you set up a group of

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sessions, like at a barn and you ended up making a whole lot more

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money by doing a whole bunch of people than you would a single

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person at that barn in the same amount of time. You make a

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tremendous amount more. And I don't know about you, Cara. But

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there's some times I've looked at the paycheck and gone Wow,

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that was really easy for that amount of money.

Cara Taylor Swift:

I think there's this idea like How will

Cara Taylor Swift:

how that how that manifests for me too is if I'm not working, I

Cara Taylor Swift:

should be working. Yeah. And it's in so you have I think a

Cara Taylor Swift:

whole sea theories have people out there that feel like they

Cara Taylor Swift:

have to fill their time with work all of the time. And the

Cara Taylor Swift:

truth is, it's more about like working smarter, not harder.

Cara Taylor Swift:

Like that is really a thing. But you feel like you have to be

Cara Taylor Swift:

busy and like, my calendar is booked how I want it to book but

Cara Taylor Swift:

I see people hustling, trying to book sessions or trying to bring

Cara Taylor Swift:

in new clients. And I have to remind myself, I don't have to

Cara Taylor Swift:

feel like I'm running that race, like, I don't need to be in that

Cara Taylor Swift:

race. But when you have this limiting belief that you have to

Cara Taylor Swift:

work hard all the time, you know, you're not working hard

Cara Taylor Swift:

for your money. If you're not making enough money, you're not

Cara Taylor Swift:

working hard enough that there's this mentality. I mean, that

Cara Taylor Swift:

comes from I know, that comes from my parents working more

Cara Taylor Swift:

than one job to make ends meet. And they're all of their time

Cara Taylor Swift:

being feel filled with work, you know, that comes from that. And

Cara Taylor Swift:

so if you find yourself taking a health day, or a mental health

Cara Taylor Swift:

day or a day off, you feel guilty about it, and you feel

Cara Taylor Swift:

like you should be doing more for your business. And so that's

Cara Taylor Swift:

something that pops up. That is definitely something that pops

Cara Taylor Swift:

up, I think for small business owners.

Kimberly Beer:

Oh, absolutely. And one of the things in my

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entrepreneurial strategy classes that our consulting sessions

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that I do is I will always ask the person, the first question I

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ask is, how do you want to spend your day, week, month and year?

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Because I want to know, how do you want to spend your time,

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because I'm going to tell you something, this is probably

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foresight on my part, because I'm not at the end of my life,

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or at least I hope I'm not even close at this point. But my

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wager is this, when you get there, you're not worried about

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you know how hard you worked, you're worried about the impact

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that you made, or that's what's going to make the day I don't

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want to say worried you are more joyful around the impact you

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made, then the level of difficulty or the hours that you

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put in. And the truth is, is that you don't have to spend as

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many hours doing the things that you think you have to do to make

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up for this. And that limiting belief, I think steals not only

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our productive time as business owners, but it steals our joy in

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our lifetime on this planet. And that is a really super sad loss

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for us all the way around. Yeah, and we've talked a lot about

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money here. And I do want to move on, because I want to get

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to the next part of this without taking up all your guys's day.

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But I want you to know that their limiting beliefs are

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around more things than money. Fear is a huge one being afraid

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of something time is another one. Oddly enough, all of the

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things that are limiting beliefs tend to be objections in sales

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for people. So a lot of times when you're selling something,

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and a person isn't buying into it, and you look at that

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objection, it has to do with time fear or money. And that has

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to do with their limiting beliefs. Okay, so it's not just

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you walking around with these, every person on this planet is

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walking around with limiting beliefs. And when you're selling

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to people, you're also dealing with there. So when you get your

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straightened out, you also have to look at your client's

Kimberly Beer:

limiting beliefs as well. So that happens, some people have

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limiting beliefs around laziness, like too much to do

Kimberly Beer:

not enough to do some people around a whole variety of

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things, I, I couldn't do that, because I'm never going to be

Kimberly Beer:

that rich, or I'm never going to be that beautiful, or I'm never

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going to be that smart, or that healthy, or the value of what

Kimberly Beer:

you have to offer. And I see a lot of my coaches doing this,

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like they value stuff, there are packages to where they've

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reduced the amount of money they're getting paid by the

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hour, because they've added in a bunch of extra things that

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really aren't necessary, actually probably drain the

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client considerably because they've got all these little

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extra meetings or homework things I know I do that always

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feel like oh, my gosh, you're paying me please let me give you

Kimberly Beer:

like way too much homework less is really more for people. And

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that's a limiting belief on my behalf or that coaches behalf in

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the fact that what we have to give is not as valuable as what

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we're charging for it. So we value stuff. Do you have

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anything you want to add to that? Cara before we skewed on

Kimberly Beer:

to the next?

Cara Taylor Swift:

Definitely I've struggled with this one as

Cara Taylor Swift:

well like that the information that I have to offer? Is it

Cara Taylor Swift:

valuable? How valuable is it? Maybe it's not as valuable as I

Cara Taylor Swift:

think that it is? And I've definitely been in positions

Cara Taylor Swift:

where I have more than over delivered in order to feel like

Cara Taylor Swift:

I'm justifying the price point. Yeah, you know, what I have

Cara Taylor Swift:

learned from that is that like Kim said, you can overburden

Cara Taylor Swift:

people you can over set expectation. You can wear them

Cara Taylor Swift:

out with information overload trying to jam pack it full of

Cara Taylor Swift:

stuff. And then what I have also learned is that let your clients

Cara Taylor Swift:

tell you that they're getting what they need. I mean, they'll

Cara Taylor Swift:

send you gifts, they'll write you reviews, they will thank you

Cara Taylor Swift:

profusely you Don't like let them tell you that they're

Cara Taylor Swift:

getting what they need and ask them it's okay to survey. It's

Cara Taylor Swift:

okay to ask for feedback that helps a lot with that. So I've

Cara Taylor Swift:

definitely been in a position where value was limiting belief

Cara Taylor Swift:

for me. Yeah, I

Kimberly Beer:

have the same things. And I was just as you

Kimberly Beer:

were saying that, that burden we do put on other people sometimes

Kimberly Beer:

dealing with our own load of trauma and drama. Yeah, we

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trauma dump on other people, right. That's my problem, not my

Kimberly Beer:

clients problems. So this is where it starts to really, it is

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a very tangled ball in your business. And I obviously one

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podcast is not going to sort this out for you. But hopefully,

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at least now you have an idea of where you might be trauma

Kimberly Beer:

dumping on your clients. And maybe we can, we can go back and

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find the space for that. So the second thing you to do is to

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follow it back to its root and busted. And the first thing I'm

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going to ask you here to take a look at is when these scripts

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start running in your head, when you find yourself going looking

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at your new program that you've designed, and you've got four

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sessions in your mentoring program as a coach are for four

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sessions in your coaching program. And you go okay, I need

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to add a fifth session, and I need to add this workbook and

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all of those things. When that script starts running in your

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head, stop for a moment and ask yourself, is the voice or the

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intention coming from you? Or is somebody give that to you? If

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you see yourself? I can't do that? Because what follows that

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sentence? Is it yours? or did somebody handed that to you?

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Because so many of us walk around and I know that this is

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this sounds weird, because we're all adults, right? But we're

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walking around with a bunch of stuff that our parents handed us

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as kids. In Gestalt, we call that and interject. So somebody

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handed you this belief. And now you carry it around as if it was

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your own without any question whatsoever. You just Millis

Kimberly Beer:

always says this is where you swallow it whole, you believe

Kimberly Beer:

that hole. So I will give you an interject from my own childhood.

Kimberly Beer:

That happened. So when I was in third grade, I moved schools

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between second and third grade, I moved from a school that

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didn't have a very good educational system to a school

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that did have a very high end educational system. So I was

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already a little bit behind. The reason I had to move schools was

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because of a trauma that happened to me at that school

Kimberly Beer:

actually happened on the school bust. And I've had to do a lot

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of personal work around that to kind of unravel where this

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limiting belief got born or got got its roots started. At any

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rate, when I get to the new school, I'm behind all the other

Kimberly Beer:

students. So the school, which is a very good school had a lot

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of resources to help students who weren't intellectually up to

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the same par as the other students. And that's where they

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kind of me they were like, Okay, well, you're in third grade, you

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should be able to do these things you can't, you're

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developmentally delayed as I think the nice way that we would

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put it now there were other words that were used when I was

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in third grade. So I was put into a program to help develop

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me delayed delayed kids. Well, in fourth grade, we were given a

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IQ test, the entire fourth grade at the school I went to was

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given this IQ test. And the IQ test, I excelled on, I got a

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really, really high score on it. And when the professionals in

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the school saw that, they were like, okay, so it's not that

Kimberly Beer:

she's developmentally delayed or has an intellectual issue. She

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must be lazy. And so that was immediately the label that I

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got. I was in fourth grade. I was a kid, when somebody just

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said, You're not doing well in school because you're lazy. I

Kimberly Beer:

just swallowed that hole. I didn't even question it, adult

Kimberly Beer:

said it. So adults are my authority. They must be right.

Kimberly Beer:

And so I just walked away with that belief. And I carried that

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limiting belief. I can't participate in sports, because

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I'm too lazy to do that. I can't show my horse because I'm too

Kimberly Beer:

lazy to do all of the work. And it actually crushed me at the

Kimberly Beer:

beginning of businesses because I'd have really good ideas to

Kimberly Beer:

start a business and I think, Oh, I can't do that. I'm too

Kimberly Beer:

lazy to be able to keep up with that business. And the truth is,

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is that just about anybody who knows me would say lazy would be

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the last word that they would use to describe me. So that was

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a huge shocker to me. When somebody else if somebody said

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it was I was in my 30s When I was working at something, and I

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didn't get something, I don't know, I didn't get something

Kimberly Beer:

done or something. And a person said to me, Well, the last thing

Kimberly Beer:

we can do, even though that wasn't completed is call you

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lazy. And I was like, Well, yes, you can. Because that's what I

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am. I had my lazy bad jog, I had worn it for all those years. So

Kimberly Beer:

that's something that really had its roots back in one a deeply

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traumatic experience for me, and then moved on into adult saying

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that so that thread, even though I was an adult, I gotten over

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it, you know, I was survivor, it was not a problem. But it was a

Kimberly Beer:

problem. And it really ate at me for many, many years.

Cara Taylor Swift:

That's a great example, one of the places

Cara Taylor Swift:

that I've seen this historically coming up is I did domestic

Cara Taylor Swift:

violence work for a long time, which I've mentioned on the

Cara Taylor Swift:

show, but I would have women that I would sit down and work

Cara Taylor Swift:

with, and they have been told things over and over and over

Cara Taylor Swift:

again, by their abusive partners, things like you're

Cara Taylor Swift:

never going to be successful at work, you're never going to keep

Cara Taylor Swift:

that job, you'll never be able to put that idea into action,

Cara Taylor Swift:

you know, they would just constantly constantly berate and

Cara Taylor Swift:

use that language over and over and over again. So I would sit

Cara Taylor Swift:

down with them. And they would say to me, we'd be talking about

Cara Taylor Swift:

strategies, and they'd be coming up with ideas. And they would

Cara Taylor Swift:

say things like, Well, I'm never going to be able to keep this

Cara Taylor Swift:

new job, or I'm never going to get a promotion, or I'm never

Cara Taylor Swift:

going to make enough money in order to be on my own, never

Cara Taylor Swift:

gonna be able to start my own business. And I would say to

Cara Taylor Swift:

them, you know, where have you heard that before? Yeah, has

Cara Taylor Swift:

that come from? And it would always come back to their

Cara Taylor Swift:

abusive partner, and being able to sit with them and say, Well,

Cara Taylor Swift:

do you see how that's not necessarily true, you've had

Cara Taylor Swift:

this job for two years, yeah, or you just got promoted six months

Cara Taylor Swift:

ago, or you have successfully started your own business, you

Cara Taylor Swift:

just made your third sale the other day, you know, and being

Cara Taylor Swift:

able to like to kind of rewrite those, you know, negative things

Cara Taylor Swift:

that had been told to them over and over again, wasn't a one

Cara Taylor Swift:

time done thing. You know, obviously, there was a lot more

Cara Taylor Swift:

entangling that needed to be done. But I saw a ton of this

Cara Taylor Swift:

when I was working with survivors of domestic violence,

Cara Taylor Swift:

where it was very evident where that negative belief or that

Cara Taylor Swift:

limiting belief came from.

Kimberly Beer:

Absolutely. And it happens in so many different

Kimberly Beer:

ways. There are a multitude of people in our lives that can

Kimberly Beer:

hand us limiting beliefs, authority figures, school

Kimberly Beer:

administrators, teachers, family members, extended family

Kimberly Beer:

members, boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, wives,

Kimberly Beer:

husbands, friend, employers, it just the list is endless. And

Kimberly Beer:

it's a sad commentary, I think on our world. And most of the

Kimberly Beer:

time, most of the time, not all of the time, but most of the

Kimberly Beer:

time, it's trauma dumping, it's that individual dumping their

Kimberly Beer:

trauma on somebody else that hands them that limiting belief,

Kimberly Beer:

and going back and unraveling that and understanding it is the

Kimberly Beer:

very first step in healing from it, and no longer wanting to

Kimberly Beer:

carry it around, being able to even put it down. That's the

Kimberly Beer:

thing that I love. And I'm into the maker strategy, which is

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number three, to keep this from coming back in your life, just

Kimberly Beer:

recognizing it is oftentimes not enough. So you generally cannot

Kimberly Beer:

muscle your way out of a deep limiting belief. Unfortunately,

Kimberly Beer:

it sometimes takes years to get them completely gone. And the

Kimberly Beer:

way to kind of accelerate that is to find somebody who can help

Kimberly Beer:

you with it. Because there's a lot of times if you have a

Kimberly Beer:

limiting belief, you can't trust yourself to be able to recognize

Kimberly Beer:

the impact of that. Or it's that situation where you almost got

Kimberly Beer:

to have a third party to recognize when you're doing it

Kimberly Beer:

because it's such an ingrained script in your head that you

Kimberly Beer:

don't sometimes recognize it's even happening. I mean, it's

Kimberly Beer:

it's crazy that way, but it just it doesn't. And until somebody

Kimberly Beer:

is able to point it out to you, and really help you rewrite it,

Kimberly Beer:

and then hold you accountable for that rewritten script. Being

Kimberly Beer:

able to now take the place and the operating system in your

Kimberly Beer:

head, then it's hard to tangle your way out of it. So

Kimberly Beer:

therapists are good at this Gestalt us are good at it. If

Kimberly Beer:

you have a particularly talented friend, sometimes they can help

Kimberly Beer:

you through by holding you accountable. There's a lot of

Kimberly Beer:

ways that you can help that but they can help you get that

Kimberly Beer:

strategy put together so that you can get rid of this limiting

Kimberly Beer:

belief and get out of your own way in making your business

Kimberly Beer:

successful. That's the thing that I have seen so many times

Kimberly Beer:

in my 30 plus years as an entrepreneur is watching

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people's businesses fail not because it was a bad idea, not

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because it was money, it's just they got in their own way. And

Kimberly Beer:

the world was robbed of a really good business and an individual

Kimberly Beer:

was robbed of success. And I don't like that I don't want

Kimberly Beer:

these moments or limiting beliefs holding anyone hostage.

Kimberly Beer:

And it's so important Yeah, that we explore them. And that we

Kimberly Beer:

find the root of it, and go ahead and remove that charge. So

Kimberly Beer:

that limiting belief doesn't hold us back any longer. And we

Kimberly Beer:

can fly on to success.

Cara Taylor Swift:

I love that. So are we ready to wrap this up

Cara Taylor Swift:

for people? Today we are. So first of all, we're just really,

Cara Taylor Swift:

we hope that if you've listened to this episode, that maybe

Cara Taylor Swift:

there were some things running through your head, because this

Cara Taylor Swift:

is really something that in our own lives as entrepreneurs and

Cara Taylor Swift:

in the lives of so many people that we have, you know, worked

Cara Taylor Swift:

with individually and in group settings, that just seems to

Cara Taylor Swift:

come up over and over again. So if you're out there right now,

Cara Taylor Swift:

and you're thinking to yourself, you know, Wow, I feel that way

Cara Taylor Swift:

about money, or I feel lazy or I feel like I'm you know, never

Cara Taylor Swift:

gonna make it or succeed, or I have to work really hard.

Cara Taylor Swift:

Whatever your limiting belief is that you're first of all able to

Cara Taylor Swift:

recognize it, the big step of the big number of big three.

Cara Taylor Swift:

Number two, is follow it back to its root and bust it. And just

Cara Taylor Swift:

that simple act alone. I know, Kim, you know, says make a

Cara Taylor Swift:

strategy, get help. But I have found that sometimes the mere

Cara Taylor Swift:

recognition of that is a great place to start. And I will bring

Cara Taylor Swift:

myself back to that over and over and over again when I need

Cara Taylor Swift:

to. In times when I don't have the help right there available.

Cara Taylor Swift:

Just recognizing it and following that thread back and

Cara Taylor Swift:

reminding yourself of where that's coming from, can be

Cara Taylor Swift:

powerful in itself. And then that third piece, make a

Cara Taylor Swift:

strategy, it's essential, and then get help if you need to as

Cara Taylor Swift:

part of that. So if you really want to make that step, then

Cara Taylor Swift:

think about getting help. As Kim said, you can't always muscle

Cara Taylor Swift:

your way out of a deep limiting belief. So, Kevin, I really hope

Cara Taylor Swift:

you've enjoyed this episode today. If you have enjoyed this

Cara Taylor Swift:

episode, please let us know at The Business Animal on Instagram

Cara Taylor Swift:

or Facebook, and leave a review and rating for the show. We

Cara Taylor Swift:

really appreciate it just a heads up. It's that time of year

Cara Taylor Swift:

if you've just come across our show randomly, maybe you're

Cara Taylor Swift:

searching for small business ideas or animal based businesses

Cara Taylor Swift:

and you haven't followed the show yet. Please do that. That

Cara Taylor Swift:

really helps us out and you know, we do this for free. And

Cara Taylor Swift:

that's a way for us to just kind of reach more people. So thank

Cara Taylor Swift:

you guys so much. Have a great day. Thanks for listening

Jaz:

to this episode of The Business Animal. Be sure to

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subscribe so you never miss an episode. And if you learned

Jaz:

something today, leave us a review. To learn more. Find us

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at thebusinessanimal.com We'd love to hear from you. Until

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next time, keep your business well trained with The Business Animal

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