Confusion is a Choice

Speaker: 00:00:03

Welcome to This Daring Adventure podcast,

where we work on bridging the gap between

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where we are and where we want to be in

order to live a bigger and bolder life.

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In this podcast, we will provide

inspiration, tips, and skills

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you need to make your life the

adventure you want it to be.

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Here's your host, mindset mentor

and life coach Trista Guertin.

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Trista: Hey everybody, welcome

back to This Daring Adventure.

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Unfortunately, just before I sat

down to record this episode, my

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allergies flared up, and so I'm

sounding a little bit stuffed up.

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I apologize.

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I don't know why this

happened, but here it is.

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So I'm just going to.

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I'm just going to go with it.

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Before we start, I wanted to let

you know that on November 27th,

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I am holding another masterclass.

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I did the breaking through

barriers, taking purposeful action

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webinar masterclass this week.

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And I love doing these classes.

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It was a lot of fun.

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and I sent out the recording for

those who couldn't make it live.

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So I am doing another

one on the 27th at 2 p.

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m.

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Eastern time.

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It's the Get Unstuck Masterclass.

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So if you are feeling stuck but you want

to move forward, the, if you're tired

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of the frustration, the overwhelm, the

exhaustion, Then we're going to take an

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hour and we're going to go through why you

get stuck and my process for helping you

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move through it and out of it for good.

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You never have to stay stuck.

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You never have to be stuck again.

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I will introduce you to my program,

the six week jumpstart to building

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a better relationship with yourself,

because that is the foundation.

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For everything you want

to create in your life.

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And it's definitely the

key to getting unstuck.

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So I will go through that.

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And that's November 27th again at 2 p.

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m.

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Eastern time.

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I will be putting the link to

register in the show notes.

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You need to register in advance.

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And then if you can't make it

live, you can catch the replay.

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I will share that when I'm done.

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The other thing, I have created a mini

course on overcoming limiting beliefs.

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Limiting beliefs are the stories, the

thoughts that we keep on thinking.

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Sometimes we've been thinking them

for decades and they're not helpful.

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And they hold us back and

they keep us playing small.

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So something like, I

don't have what it takes.

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I'm not good enough.

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It's too old.

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Or I'm too old.

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All of these things that make us

feel terrible when we think them,

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and then we don't take the action

that we know we want to take.

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And these limiting beliefs are often just.

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a running soundtrack in our head.

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They're on a loop.

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Probably we're not very conscious

of how many times we think them and

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they just repeat and repeat and we

don't realize that They're optional.

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And so I've designed, it's

just a tiny little mini course.

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You can do it on your phone in about

20 minutes and it just goes over how to

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identify your limiting beliefs and then

how you can start to shift them, how you

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can start to shift away from them and

create new beliefs that are helpful and

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that will serve you and that will move you

forward because a belief is just a thought

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you keep on thinking.

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So we have to do a little bit of work

to rewire those neural pathways in

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your brain that keep these old limiting

beliefs on a loop in your head, in your

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mind, but it's totally possible to do

and I have a few tips and exercises

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you can do to start to do that.

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And it's important work.

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It's part of the process to

getting unstuck for sure.

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The link for that will be

in the show notes as well.

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And then finally, I am offering free

30 minute mini coaching sessions.

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These are a great opportunity

for you to get some support

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on any issue that you wish.

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The coaching we'll do is about 20

minutes long, which may not seem like

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a lot, but trust me, you can get some

powerful shifts done in that time.

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And it helps to get that support.

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A lot of times, we think we just

can manage on our own and just

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keep doing what we're doing.

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But the truth is, if you keep

doing what you're doing, you'll

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continue to get the same results.

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And while, yeah, you can continue

to work on the issue or the problem,

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whatever it is that you have.

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But Imagine just having that extra

support and how that can move you forward.

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So I will put the link to the show notes.

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I will put the link to my calendar

in the show notes and you can

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sign up for a mini course.

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And you can sign up for a mini session

then, think of it as just as you might

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go to the gym and hire a trainer,

you know that when you hire a trainer

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to help you work out and to give you

guidance, it is because it's you.

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It's a lot easier and faster to get

started and that you have a greater chance

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of reaching your goals with the expert

support, accountability and structure.

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And that's what coaching does.

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So here's your opportunity

to try that out for yourself.

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And it's a lot of fun.

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And I look forward to meeting you there.

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All right, let's dive into the episode.

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And so today the episode

is on refusing confusion.

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the most common obstacles I

see with my clients is their

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tendency to indulge in confusion.

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Confusion is an indulgent emotion.

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It's not necessary.

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And we start to use, I don't know, as our

default mode, whether it's about starting

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a business or changing jobs or deciding

what they want in life, whether they

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want to stay in a relationship, whether

they want to move houses, whatever it is.

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And this state of

indecision feels necessary.

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It feels important, and it

might even feel productive.

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But in reality, it's

indulgent and it's unhelpful.

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Problem with confusion is

that it keeps us in limbo.

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It's robbing us of momentum and time.

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It prevents action and forward

progress because it feels safe

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to stay stuck in I don't know.

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But here's the truth.

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There are no wrong decisions.

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What makes a decision wrong?

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It's simply our judgment about it.

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There's no right or wrong.

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Instead, we can choose to see every

decision as a part of our unique path.

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It's how you're going to choose

to think about your decision

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and the results that you obtain.

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When we embrace our past choices

and stop labeling them as mistakes,

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we cultivate trust in ourselves.

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We have our own back.

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And then this trust empowers us to

make decisions now, knowing that we'll

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have our own backs no matter what

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happens.

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We know that if something happens,

we won't beat ourselves up.

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We won't criticize ourselves,

we won't judge ourselves.

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We will be able to handle any emotion

and we will learn from it, It's not going

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to be something that we're going to make

into a disaster or that necessarily has

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to stop us from going after what we want.

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Why is being decisive so important?

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Why do we want to get out of

confusion as quickly as possible?

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Here are four reasons.

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First of all, it saves time.

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Every moment spent in

confusion is time wasted.

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Not making a decision is, in

fact, and in itself, a decision.

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And it keeps you stuck.

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Imagine how much more productive

and intentional your life could be

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if you stopped postponing choices.

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Second, it increases action.

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Indecision often leads to inaction.

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We consume more information.

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We procrastinate.

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We distract ourselves instead

of taking steps forward.

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What happens?

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We're scrolling on social media.

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We're looking for the next course.

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We're watching TV.

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We are stuck in our own heads and

wasting time instead of taking the

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action that will move us forward.

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But the moment we make a

decision, we create clarity

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and we open the door to action.

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And this action is where

learning and growth happens.

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Third, it drives growth.

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Growth comes from expanding your

experiences, and this only happens

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when you decide and you act.

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Confusion shrinks our world.

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Decisiveness, on the other

hand, allows you to embrace new

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opportunities and challenges.

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Fourth, it builds confidence.

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Confidence is the by product

of taking consistent action and

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following through on decisions.

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Think about how empowered you feel when

you commit to something and stick with it.

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Confidence grows as you trust yourself

to handle the outcomes, good or bad.

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And I would add a fifth one, that is it is

empowering and it's also freeing, right?

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Moving out of confusion, taking

a decision, moving yourself

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forward, makes you feel lighter.

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It makes you feel empowered.

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It makes you feel stronger, it does take

a weight off of your shoulders for sure.

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So how can you move out of

confusion and into decisiveness?

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First, I would remove history bias

and ask yourself, if I were starting

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fresh today, would I choose this job,

this relationship, this situation?

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Don't let the past dictate your decisions.

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Think about it from today.

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You don't have to go back to that

time where you started, but think

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about, would you choose it today?

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Would you choose it again?

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Do you want to keep it?

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Then, imagine both options.

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Whatever you're trying to decide

between, they both turn out amazing.

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Both paths can lead to success.

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Which one excites you

or aligns with you more?

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if you knew both would turn out

okay, what would you choose?

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Then you always want to reframe failure.

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What if failure wasn't a big deal?

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And instead of seeing failure or fearing

failure, see it as an opportunity to win

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or learn.

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There's always an opportunity to

learn, evaluate what's happened,

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learn from your experiences, and then

apply that knowledge going forward.

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And it can be very

empowering and very helpful.

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Next.

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Consider saying yes to both.

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Sometimes it's not about

choosing one thing or another.

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Can you explore ways, and this is

a great exercise for your brain to,

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give it a task, give it something

to think about, and explore ways to

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integrate both options creatively.

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You'd be surprised if

you put your brain on it.

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If you ask it that question,

how can I say yes to both?

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what it might come up with.

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Next, you can consult your future self.

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Some of the future self work is

so much fun and it's so powerful.

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Can you imagine yourself

10 years from now?

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What advice would your wiser future

self give you about this decision?

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And if you can sit and just imagine

this, take some time, maybe write

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it out, you'd be amazed at what

information you could get from this.

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Next, set a deadline.

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Decisions don't take months, they take

moments, Give yourself a clear deadline,

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make the decision, and then commit to it.

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But a lot of people say that, it

took me weeks to make that decision.

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No, you make a decision in an instant.

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It you wallowed in confusion for

weeks, but you decided in an instant.

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So you can decide quickly and

effectively if that's what you want.

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Next, ask what would love do?

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This simple question can

provide profound clarity.

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Love might mean leaving, it might

mean staying, or it might be

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stepping into discomfort for growth.

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Love for yourself, love

for the other person.

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You can apply this in many different

ways, but if it seems it feels relevant

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to you, it can be a very helpful question.

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Next, move toward who you want to be.

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Discomfort and fear aren't

reasons to avoid action.

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They're often signs that

you're on the right path.

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Most of the time, we're going

to be experiencing discomfort.

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Either we experience the discomfort of

stagnating, staying the same, indulging

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in confusion, not moving forward.

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Or, we experience the discomfort of

growth, of learning, of change, and

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that moves us towards who we want to be.

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It moves us towards evolving

and growing and becoming the

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next version of ourselves.

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Finally, For each option, evaluate

the best and worst outcomes.

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You'll often find that the

worst case scenario is missing

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out on the best case scenario.

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Think about that.

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The worst case scenario is missing

out on the best case scenario.

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you never know how things

are going to turn out.

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And it's equally true, you could

experience the best case scenario

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as the worst case scenario.

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And our brain tends to focus and fixate

and predict the worst case scenario.

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But we have a just as equal chance of

having the best case scenario work out.

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And imagine how amazing that will be.

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So don't let your brain drag you

down that rabbit hole of fixating

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on the worst case scenario.

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Imagine both.

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Imagine that they can both be

experienced, they could both happen,

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and that it could be pretty amazing

if the best case scenario happens.

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Confusion.

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is indulgent.

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It's not necessary.

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It's not helpful.

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It doesn't move you forward.

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Making decisions is powerful because

they will shape the course of your life.

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When you stop indulging in confusion, You

save time, you take meaningful action,

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you grow, you'll build your confidence.

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Every decision you make is a step

toward the person you want to become.

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Learn to trust yourself, commit to your

choices, and know that you're always

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capable of living into the possibility.

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You're capable of

creating an amazing life.

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Let's go.

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Thanks everybody for joining me today.

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Thank you for bearing with me.

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remember to sign up for the get unstuck

masterclass on the 27th and the mini

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course on overcoming limiting beliefs.

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The links will be in the show notes.

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As well, I invite you to sign up for a

free 30 minute mini coaching session.

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A lot of fun.

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Bring any topic, let's talk, let's

explore the possibilities and get

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you unstuck and moving forward.

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Make a decision or two.

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All right.

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Thank you so much, everybody.

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Talk to you soon.

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Bye bye.

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Thank you for listening to

This Daring Adventure podcast

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with your host Trista Guertin.

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We hope you enjoyed the tips

and conversations on how to

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get excited about life again.

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As always, you can head to

tristaguertin.com for additional resources

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and to book a one on one coaching session.

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You can also follow Trista on

Instagram at tristavguertin.

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Don't forget to subscribe, rate,

and review us on Apple Podcasts.

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Thanks again for tuning in

and we'll see you next time.

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