Shownotes
Are you setting goals that actually align with your values?
Or are you chasing someone else's definition of success? In this episode, Gwen and Tonya share how to create meaningful, achievable goals that propel your business forward without burning you out.
Here’s the breakdown of this episode:
- 1:00 - Why understanding the "why" behind your goals is crucial
- 3:30 - The dangers of pursuing goals that don’t align with your true desires
- 6:00 - Shifting from a misaligned goal to one that brings fulfillment
- 10:00 - How to identify signs that your goals might not be aligned with your values
- 14:00 - The impact of misaligned goals on your business and personal well-being
- 18:00 - How to set achievable goals without compromising ambition
- 22:00 - The power of "Good/Better/Best" goals in maintaining motivation
- 27:00 - Why setting realistic growth metrics matters more than you think
- 31:00 - The worst-case scenario: What happens when you ignore misalignment
Key Takeaways:
- Understand why it's so crucial to set goals that align with your true desires and values.
- Learn how to spot the signs that your goals might be leading you in the wrong direction.
- Create balance between ambition and achievability with the "Good/Better/Best" framework.
- Recognize when it's time to reassess and adjust your goals for better alignment with your life and business.
Want to make sure your goals align with the business you really want? Try this:
- Reflect on the "why" behind each of your goals. Are they truly yours, or are they influenced by some external pressure?
- Ask yourself, really, whether or not you are on a path that will bring you fulfillment if you achieve what you say you want.
- Use the "Good/Better/Best" framework to set goals that challenge you without leaving you frazzled.
- Regularly revisit and adjust your goals as your business and life evolve.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review.
Also, be sure to check out Episode 4, where we discuss the importance of effectiveness and delegation in achieving your business goals.
Have questions? Email Tonya at tonya@everydayeffectiveness.com to potentially have your question featured in a future episode.
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Transcripts
Are you feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or uncertain about how
Speaker:to grow your business without sacrificing what really matters most?
Speaker:Welcome to The Business You Really Want, the show for women ready to build
Speaker:a sustainable, fully aligned business.
Speaker:Aligned with what, you ask?
Speaker:You.
Speaker:Your values.
Speaker:Your life.
Speaker:Seriously.
Speaker:It is possible.
Speaker:I'm Tonya Kubo, and along with business advisor extraordinaire Gwynn
Speaker:Bortner, we're here to show you how.
Speaker:Are you setting goals that align with your true desires or are you chasing
Speaker:someone else's definition of success?
Speaker:My name is Tonya Kubo and I am here with
Speaker:Gwen Bortner in The Business You Really Want,
Speaker:the show for women who are ready to build sustainable, fulfilling
Speaker:businesses aligned with their values.
Speaker:And today, we have a really important topic to bring up, which is how to
Speaker:create Meaningful, achievable goals that propel your business forward.
Speaker:And Gwen, I know you have a lot to say about this, so I'm wondering,
Speaker:like, do you want to start us off with a story or do you want to just jump
Speaker:right in on how you feel like every business owner needs to start with
Speaker:focusing on those achievable goals?
Speaker:Oh no, I'm going to start with a story on this one because because I
Speaker:I like your
Speaker:I have a favorite
Speaker:story.
Speaker:You know what my story is going to be.
Speaker:Um, so when, when I work with clients, one of the first things
Speaker:that, that we talk about is.
Speaker:What does success really look like for you?
Speaker:And for some folks, they can get there pretty quickly.
Speaker:And for others, it's a, it's more of a struggle because we have been so
Speaker:conditioned by our environment, our family, our culture, society in general.
Speaker:And now even more so with social media, there's so many outside influences.
Speaker:Sometimes it's actually hard to know.
Speaker:what we actually want for ourselves.
Speaker:I mean, it seems obvious, you know, it seems like it would be really
Speaker:easy when you say it, but it's, if you really sit down, it's like, Oh,
Speaker:well, maybe is that really mine?
Speaker:I don't know if that's mine or not.
Speaker:And, and just because it is a goal that society has, doesn't
Speaker:mean it is not your goal also.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:So, I mean, it's, it's not an obvious kind of answer.
Speaker:And, um, Years ago, I started working with a gal that I actually
Speaker:had some familiarity with.
Speaker:I wasn't like close, you know, intimate friends, but I had some familiarity with.
Speaker:And when I asked the question, you know, what, what do you really want?
Speaker:Well, in this particular case, the woman was an attorney and she said,
Speaker:I want to be known as one of the top, top kick ass litigators in our state.
Speaker:And I was like, Huh.
Speaker:I said, I don't think that's right.
Speaker:Now, I wouldn't normally make that kind of a
Speaker:I was gonna say, do you actually talk to people like that?
Speaker:Mm-Hmm.
Speaker:part of it was, I knew her well enough to know that I could actually
Speaker:say something to her, right?
Speaker:I wouldn't necessarily say that to a stranger.
Speaker:But I also knew her well enough to know that didn't feel right.
Speaker:as a goal for her.
Speaker:And, uh, the reason was she was one of, well, was, is, she is one of the nicest,
Speaker:kindest, friendliest, funniest, most inviting, welcoming, warm people I know.
Speaker:And when you say kick ass litigator, are those the words that come to mind?
Speaker:No, those are not typically the words that come to mind
Speaker:when you, when you think that.
Speaker:And so it was like, yeah, I don't think that's right.
Speaker:And I said, but if it's what you really want, we will get there.
Speaker:That, that will be what we work on.
Speaker:Now, in her case, we worked together for quite a while
Speaker:before things started to shift.
Speaker:That's not always the case, but in this case, took her a little bit longer.
Speaker:And over time, what we got to, she, she one day said, yes, I was talking to
Speaker:this other woman and her, her business model, another woman attorney, her
Speaker:business model is around doing estate planning and, um, and trust work.
Speaker:And she said, it sounds really interesting and whatnot.
Speaker:And as soon as she said that, I was like, Oh yeah, this actually sounds like
Speaker:you because estate planning really is about creating relationship and being
Speaker:warm and making people feel comfortable and feeling like they're in a really
Speaker:trusted environment and all the things that she is so naturally good at.
Speaker:And so when she shifted to being folk, you know, Redirecting her
Speaker:practice into that direction.
Speaker:And, and it wasn't an instantaneous thing.
Speaker:I mean, I'm not going to pretend like, you know, poof, there it went, because
Speaker:that's just not the way these things work, but as she moved there, she became
Speaker:happier and happier and happier and happier and realized part of the reason
Speaker:that she had been struggling in her business was she had these goals that
Speaker:she thought were her goals that weren't really her goals, they were the goals that
Speaker:the world says is a successful attorney.
Speaker:Your look on TV, any successful attorney is a litigator, right?
Speaker:That's what we, what we believe is a successful attorney.
Speaker:Um, even though as in almost all cases, there are lots of right answers and
Speaker:that wasn't a right answer for her.
Speaker:This other was a right answer for her.
Speaker:And we, you know, run into each other on a regular basis and, and, and chat.
Speaker:And when we do, it's always like, I am so happy.
Speaker:I love my business because she redefined success.
Speaker:To be her definition of success, not society's definition of success.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So, oh, I have so many questions about that because like, I'm, I'm gonna ask the
Speaker:two burning questions I have, and then I'll let you decide how you wanna take it.
Speaker:So the f like, the first question I have is, well, you said that.
Speaker:If, you know, I mean, it sounds to me, even if she didn't want to
Speaker:be a litigator, she still could have been a successful litigator.
Speaker:So the first question I have is, you know, well, why does it matter
Speaker:if it's the goal you really want or not if you can still be successful
Speaker:with, let's say, the world's goal?
Speaker:The second question that I have is,
Speaker:Aside from happiness, how else did her business change as a result of this shift?
Speaker:Because I don't know anything about attorney.
Speaker:I have like two friends who went to law school.
Speaker:We never talk about their jobs.
Speaker:So like, I mean, is her business better?
Speaker:Is her business more successful?
Speaker:Or is it merely she is just more satisfied with the work?
Speaker:Those, those are all the questions I have.
Speaker:Mm
Speaker:so the first thing is, I think a lot of people and probably most people
Speaker:that are listening to this podcast can achieve anything, you know, if they
Speaker:really, really but part of it is, do you really, really want to, are you willing
Speaker:to do all of the steps, the pieces, parts, the effort, the things that go,
Speaker:go with it and when your motivation.
Speaker:is strong enough, then the effort that it takes Isn't as bad.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And so I, I use this equation and, and I haven't used it in quite a while,
Speaker:but I still really like it, which is
Speaker:motivation has to be greater than the force required to get the result.
Speaker:the motivation's not there, at some point, the friction, the
Speaker:alignment, the is gonna win out.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:The, it's just physics, it's nature.
Speaker:There's some point that if we don't have enough force against the natural
Speaker:force, we're not gonna move it.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:So.
Speaker:So is it possible?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Would we have ever gotten there?
Speaker:Possibly, but man it would have just been pulling teeth the entire time and
Speaker:everyone would have been miserable.
Speaker:And the part that's most disappointing is when she got
Speaker:there she'd still be miserable.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So really what you're talking about is you, you can be, let's
Speaker:just say, quote, successful.
Speaker:I will try to minimize my use of air quotes while we record
Speaker:this podcast as much as I can,
Speaker:Oh, I like air quotes though.
Speaker:but many, yes, but there are a lot of people who hate them and the people who
Speaker:hate air quotes really hate air quotes.
Speaker:So, you know, it's possible to achieve success But to let's not say
Speaker:miserable because some people will be miserable, but not everybody will be
Speaker:but to not be that happy and To not feel like the success you're having
Speaker:is worth what it takes to get there.
Speaker:Is that what you're saying?
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And, and I think this is where we find people in overwhelm.
Speaker:It's where we find people in stress.
Speaker:It's where we find people in what they will call unsustainable circumstances.
Speaker:And because there has to be, not, I don't really like balance because
Speaker:balance just a moment, but an equilibrium state that you're kind of
Speaker:moving back and forth between balance.
Speaker:Um, you know, some days it's going to be harder than others.
Speaker:It's not like she never has a bad day.
Speaker:That, I'm absolutely positive, is not true.
Speaker:But.
Speaker:More positive days than less positive days.
Speaker:That's, that's what I'm always looking for, right?
Speaker:Is on the whole, when you look back over any period of time, do you
Speaker:say, I, God, that was horrible.
Speaker:Or do you say, yeah, that was okay.
Speaker:That was good that, you know, or, man, it was amazing.
Speaker:I love that, but, but at least, yeah, no, that was good.
Speaker:This was, this was an okay time.
Speaker:This was good.
Speaker:As opposed to, I hate, I hate everything that, you know, that, that's going on.
Speaker:So for me, that's really where this, this lies is we can achieve
Speaker:anything, but do, do we want to keep achieving it in this way?
Speaker:Kind of in the impenitum.
Speaker:Cause if the answer is no, then it's probably not what we actually want.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:And so you started this off by, you know, saying how one thing that you do
Speaker:with, with clients that you work with.
Speaker:And I feel like actually this is so ingrained into who you are.
Speaker:You do this with anybody you're having a conversation with.
Speaker:Like if somebody says, I want to do this thing, whether you're in a coffee chat,
Speaker:you're in a networking environment, you're always, I feel like your follow
Speaker:up question is always, well, why?
Speaker:Um, so
Speaker:of.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It's probably truer than not.
Speaker:So it's more than just a client conversation.
Speaker:The importance of understanding why behind your goals seems to me to
Speaker:be bigger for you, at least, than just getting a client to an outcome.
Speaker:Like you, it's part of how you connect with people.
Speaker:I think it's part of how maybe even you develop relationships.
Speaker:Why is the why behind a goal so important?
Speaker:Now I have a thousand things that I want to say.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Mission accomplished.
Speaker:So the first reason is because I know the goal itself is not actually
Speaker:important even if you hit the goal because the goal is a moment, is a
Speaker:space, is a tiny fraction of existence.
Speaker:Um, and Typically entrepreneurs are really good at moving the
Speaker:goal just before they reach it.
Speaker:So often goal is never accomplished.
Speaker:So let's just call that out right now.
Speaker:Um, for me, it's about the journey, right?
Speaker:I want more pos what I said earlier.
Speaker:I want more positive days than negative days.
Speaker:Not saying there aren't going to be negative days.
Speaker:That's just not, not going to be reality, but I want your business journey.
Speaker:To have more positive days than negative days.
Speaker:And if we're headed towards something that we aren't really motivated
Speaker:for, that we don't really see it and that we're not enjoying along
Speaker:the way, then, so we get there.
Speaker:That's great.
Speaker:We got there, but we were so miserable along the way.
Speaker:And we, you know, we, we pissed off everybody in family and we
Speaker:lost time with our children.
Speaker:And yeah, I mean, you know, the list can go on and on and on.
Speaker:Was it worth it?
Speaker:Rarely is the answer yes.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:So what is, what is the real reason behind it?
Speaker:What are you really trying to, to get toward?
Speaker:Um, and the other piece of it is, and there's no judgment about that.
Speaker:You don't have to want a million dollar business.
Speaker:Not everybody does.
Speaker:But it doesn't mean the person who does want a million dollar
Speaker:business is wrong either.
Speaker:It's, there are, this is, there are lots of right answers.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:And so for me, part of this whole, you know, why is it so important
Speaker:is back to my number one core value in business is context matters.
Speaker:Mm-Hmm.
Speaker:All of the elements that play into your entire existence, not just the business,
Speaker:not just your clients, not just your product offering, but whether or not
Speaker:you're married, whether or not you have family, whether or not you're living a
Speaker:nomad lifestyle, whether you love being fully rooted in a very specific culture.
Speaker:specific place, whether you've got parents that you're taking
Speaker:care of, whether you're, you know, um, a dog mom to 15 dogs.
Speaker:I don't care what your circumstance is, but all of those circumstances
Speaker:play into your context and help you define what your success is.
Speaker:And we need to look at that wholly, or we're trying to put things in little,
Speaker:little bottles, and the businesses that I work with are typically way too small
Speaker:to try and, and isolate in any way.
Speaker:Everything gets integrated together, and so trying to look at it as a
Speaker:separate entity doesn't make any sense.
Speaker:We need to look at the whole, whole picture and see how does
Speaker:it, how does it all work together, and will it work together?
Speaker:Can it work together?
Speaker:Can we figure out a way to make it work?
Speaker:So that we aren't fighting it all the time.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So how, how do I do that?
Speaker:Like, is there questions I can ask myself?
Speaker:Or are there symptoms Like, are there signs in my business
Speaker:right now that let me know it?
Speaker:If I'm driving toward a goal that aligns with what I really want
Speaker:in life or maybe even my values.
Speaker:I'm going to answer the second question first and then come back to the first
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:second, because I do think there are symptoms and I typically think it's
Speaker:stress and overwhelm or in a feeling like it's a non sustainable scenario.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So burnout or is burnout on the other end?
Speaker:Like you do this for too long and then you get burned out.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Burnout would be it, but it's that you've been doing for too long.
Speaker:So, so yeah, any, uh, any of these places where The outside world looking in without
Speaker:knowing all of the details would say, Hey, you, you look really successful.
Speaker:you're saying, Oh, it does not feel successful.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:I've
Speaker:Whatever that, whatever that is, right.
Speaker:It does not
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And not like on any given day, but like, it's not feeling for, for weeks
Speaker:and weeks and months and months.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:That's the symptom.
Speaker:that's the time to say, Hmm, am I going after the right thing for
Speaker:the right reason, in the right way?
Speaker:That's, that's piece one.
Speaker:So back to your first question, how do you figure it out?
Speaker:It really is having an honest conversation with yourself of what actually is
Speaker:important and are you willing to make decisions toward that thing.
Speaker:Which may mean sacrificing some of the other things that have previously said,
Speaker:have historically said are your goals.
Speaker:And I'll, I'll just use a classic kind of example.
Speaker:I don't have a specific in mind, but a classic example is, Oh, I
Speaker:want a million dollar business.
Speaker:And you're at, you know, 850, 000.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So we're working and we're pushing, we're pushing, and we're trying to get to a
Speaker:million dollar business, but it doesn't feel sustainable and you're angry and, and
Speaker:you're tired know, all, all of the things, all of the symptoms are showing up, right?
Speaker:The question becomes, what is the million dollar business actually get me?
Speaker:Why is that defined?
Speaker:Why is that success for What, what does that actually get me?
Speaker:And then the question is, does that really get me that?
Speaker:Or is that what I've been sold?
Speaker:That that's what it gets me.
Speaker:So, for example, a lot of folks say, Oh, well, if I have a million dollar
Speaker:business, I'm making more money.
Speaker:But reality is, that's hardly ever true.
Speaker:People with a very small team and a successful 400, 000 business are
Speaker:making more than the people who have a million dollar business.
Speaker:I mean, like, you know, making more, putting it in their pocket, actually, you
Speaker:know, putting it in personal bank account.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:Um, and so what, what really is the goal there?
Speaker:Why is that important?
Speaker:What are, what are you trying, trying to do?
Speaker:And being okay with the answer that most people would say, well, That
Speaker:doesn't seem like success because back to you've got to be completely
Speaker:comfortable if that's what it means to me.
Speaker:Back to our prior example, part of what was success for, for my attorney
Speaker:was she has younger, younger children, school, school age, grade school
Speaker:children is she wanted to be able to be there for them and to go to soccer
Speaker:games and baseball, you know, softball games and baseball games and, and,
Speaker:and do, you know, Be on the field trip and do a lot of a lot of these things.
Speaker:Well, litigators don't have a lot of control over their time because they
Speaker:have court dates assigned to them.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:And so it's like, well, so those two things don't line up.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:And, you know, she was wise enough to know the kids are only going
Speaker:to be children for a few years.
Speaker:Set period of time,
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:right?
Speaker:There is potentially another point in time if she really wanted to.
Speaker:She knows better won't.
Speaker:But if she really wanted to be a top litigator, she could wait until
Speaker:the kids get a little bit older.
Speaker:She's not that old.
Speaker:She's got a lot of time still in front of her.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:You know, so, so there, the answer for success today also doesn't have
Speaker:to be the answer for success tomorrow.
Speaker:Okay, so, so sometimes the, the why, the goal we have today is not the goal we have
Speaker:tomorrow, and sometimes what motivates us.
Speaker:toward the goal today is not the same motivation we have later on.
Speaker:That's what you're saying, right?
Speaker:both can change.
Speaker:So when we started off, you know, I talked about meaningful goals and
Speaker:I think the why behind your goal definitely answers that question
Speaker:of how to create meaningful goals.
Speaker:But I'd like to shift us over into the achievable piece because this
Speaker:is something I can just tell you personally, I have struggled with so much.
Speaker:So much.
Speaker:And I don't, like, I'm not alone because all my besties, we all
Speaker:talk about how hard this is.
Speaker:And so it's the balance between, we're supposed to reach for the
Speaker:moon so that when we fall, we can land among the stars, right?
Speaker:We're supposed to be ambitious.
Speaker:I would give you like five other catchphrases I've heard, but I'd
Speaker:rather spend our time on other things.
Speaker:My question is, how do you ride that line between Ambitious and, enough of a stretch
Speaker:to where I'm motivated to get up every day and do a thing and also achievable,
Speaker:realistic, how do I assess the feasibility or like, what are your thoughts on that?
Speaker:So the first thing that people never realize is that setting goals is also
Speaker:a skill, which means when we start at it, we probably suck because we don't
Speaker:have good experience of setting goals.
Speaker:People assume that like goals are just a natural thing.
Speaker:They're not a natural thing.
Speaker:It's a skill.
Speaker:You learn how to get better at it over.
Speaker:Time So long as you're doing it consistently, right?
Speaker:That's part of it is if, you try it once and you said, ambitious goals
Speaker:and they all fail, and then it's like, Oh, I'm really bad at goals.
Speaker:And you wait a year or two.
Speaker:And it's like, Oh, I'm going to set a goal.
Speaker:And it's crazy ambitious.
Speaker:And you don't mean it's like, Oh yeah, I just suck at setting goals.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:But you aren't, you're it's practice, right?
Speaker:Like we talk about intentional practice.
Speaker:You need to be working on it consistently because you learn over time.
Speaker:What was too ambitious and what was not ambitious enough.
Speaker:And when we first start.
Speaker:They're probably all going to be wrong.
Speaker:They may be way under.
Speaker:They may be way over.
Speaker:You may have some of each.
Speaker:It's okay.
Speaker:We start, but it's paying attention to where were we over?
Speaker:Where were we under?
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:What assumptions did we make that probably really weren't good assumptions
Speaker:now that we have more data, right?
Speaker:And, um, you and I worked together long enough I love data.
Speaker:Data is an amazing thing.
Speaker:Yay, data.
Speaker:Um,
Speaker:and, and the more data you have.
Speaker:the better you can you know, you can gather information, right?
Speaker:And so the first set of goals, probably not very good.
Speaker:The second, not very good.
Speaker:Typically, I'm seeing around the third or fourth go, we're starting to get more
Speaker:accurate goals because we're starting to see what actually is, is feasible.
Speaker:I also love the concept of good, better, best goals, because as you
Speaker:said, everyone's like, Oh, I have this big giant, you know, goal thing.
Speaker:And the.
Speaker:audacious goal.
Speaker:Oh, the big, hairy audacious goal, which I'm not a hundred percent against,
Speaker:but it also can be very defeating if, if it's the big hairy audacious goal.
Speaker:And so my idea with, with good, better, best goals is the good goal is a goal
Speaker:that you should probably be able to hit about 85 percent of the time.
Speaker:You know, it's not like all the stars have to align.
Speaker:It's.
Speaker:It's like doing the work, doing, you know, showing up consistently, not
Speaker:having any giant unexpected disasters, you probably can hit that goal.
Speaker:The better goal allows you to say, okay, so this is more, I call it the 50 50
Speaker:goal that probably half the time you can hit it because it's, it's more than the
Speaker:good goal where we're stretching some.
Speaker:And then the best goal is closer to the big hairy audacious goal that
Speaker:you're only probably able to hit it.
Speaker:5, 10 percent of the time, a lot of things have to line up that you may
Speaker:have to have something, you know, go viral that you weren't expecting, you
Speaker:know, there's usually some unexpected elements to it to make it happen.
Speaker:But what it allows is that when you hit the good goal.
Speaker:You're not done.
Speaker:It's not like, Oh, well, I hit it.
Speaker:You know, and if you hit it in the first month, it's like, Oh, well I'm done.
Speaker:You know, it's like, no, no, no, we're going to keep, we're going to keep going.
Speaker:We're going to keep going.
Speaker:So you have it.
Speaker:But also to be able to say, yeah, I hit my goal because when you're, When
Speaker:it's always this giant goal that you're actually really only positioned hit five
Speaker:or 10 percent of the time, it just ends up becoming defeating it's that whole,
Speaker:I'm not very good at setting goals, right?
Speaker:And, and that's not true.
Speaker:That's not true.
Speaker:It, so it's looking at data and being able to say, so where,
Speaker:what actually seems reasonable?
Speaker:And so if you're looking at an income goal and this month you
Speaker:made You know, this quarter, we like to quarters in, in our world.
Speaker:This quarter we made 10, 000.
Speaker:Thinking that next quarter you're going to make a million, what
Speaker:kind of data do you have on that?
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:Why do you think that's actually possible?
Speaker:That's a giant jump.
Speaker:Now, maybe next quarter making 15, 000, that's still a pretty big
Speaker:jump, but that actually feels doable depending on what you're selling.
Speaker:And I mean, you know, there's all sorts of variables in here, right?
Speaker:Um, But looking at it and saying, yeah, what, what would be a good goal?
Speaker:What would be a better goal?
Speaker:What would be a best goal?
Speaker:Um, and, and trying to be, uh, ambitious, but realistic back to, I want people to.
Speaker:Feel success.
Speaker:And for most of us, success is saying, I did it.
Speaker:Mm.
Speaker:Like, I am taking all of these notes, because, like, okay, I cannot
Speaker:forget these all of my questions.
Speaker:Um, so, okay, There's so much that you just said that I had to
Speaker:jot down, so I didn't lose it.
Speaker:I mean, we're I think, I'm trying to, I think to kind of sum up what you
Speaker:talked about is there comes a point where you have to reality check.
Speaker:Your goal.
Speaker:Like, like, a reality check comes whether you're looking for it or not.
Speaker:Now, you had said, you set goals, you don't reach them, you don't reach them,
Speaker:and you, you eventually come to the conclusion that I'm bad at setting goals.
Speaker:I don't actually hear that.
Speaker:Ever.
Speaker:What I hear is I am bad at business.
Speaker:Nobody wants what I have to sell.
Speaker:I can't make money.
Speaker:I need more leads.
Speaker:Like I hear all of that.
Speaker:Like I'm terrible person because I didn't reach the goal.
Speaker:And the reality check piece I think is so important because as you were speaking,
Speaker:I have to, I zoned out a bit because I was thinking through my own career and
Speaker:going, okay, this When did anybody ever tell me what a good growth metric was?
Speaker:And I think I read a business book at some point that talked about like, you know,
Speaker:the average business does really well when they grow 10 percent over the last year.
Speaker:Now, I cannot remember if they were telling me 10 percent gross revenue,
Speaker:10 percent net profit, but 10%.
Speaker:And I had spent at least a decade in business before I heard that where every
Speaker:coach I had worked with, every course I had ever taken, was always painting
Speaker:this picture that I should double my revenue this year compared to last year.
Speaker:So I was always feeling like I failed because I never doubled.
Speaker:I mean, early on I doubled because it's really easy to double one
Speaker:was gonna say, so that, that's the thing, is that really easy
Speaker:metric to hit the first few years.
Speaker:When you're, when your income 5, doubling it to the next year to ten
Speaker:is not nearly as hard as if your income is 500, 000 and the next year
Speaker:you're doubling it to a million.
Speaker:Because you probably didn't get to the 500, 000.
Speaker:You might have.
Speaker:I mean, depending, you know, and, and I think that's also, you
Speaker:know, it's a time metric, right?
Speaker:So the, the first year, doubling the first year to the second
Speaker:year is probably reasonable.
Speaker:Maybe even doubling the third year could, could be reasonable.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:But as we start going on, um, if you, if you look at, you know, I don't know,
Speaker:um, General Mills, I'm just really old probably everyone has heard of.
Speaker:Um, I am confident they don't double year over year because we
Speaker:would all be up to here in serial.
Speaker:If,
Speaker:And whatever else General Mills owns,
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I mean, they own ton of but,
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:but, but you, you get what I'm saying that they're, they are probably
Speaker:growing, you know, and I'm just looking at like a gross income number.
Speaker:They're probably growing.
Speaker:We could obviously look it up because there's all sorts of, you know, on
Speaker:the, on, on the, the web to figure it out, but it's not doubling.
Speaker:That, that is not sustainable.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And this gets back to looking at goals that are, right.
Speaker:Appropriate for where you are in business and sustainable over time.
Speaker:And, and I think this is one of the things where there's lots of people who have
Speaker:gotten bad advice that are then sharing more bad advice out to other people who
Speaker:are then sharing the same bad advice.
Speaker:And enough of the bad advice goes around.
Speaker:It's like, Oh, that must be the truth.
Speaker:right, or they become experts at teaching the bad advice.
Speaker:Oh
Speaker:and don't, I don't,
Speaker:my favorites.
Speaker:and I don't say that to say that, They're intentionally doing it, right?
Speaker:It's just that they've internalized it to the level that they believe that
Speaker:this is a skill they need to transfer.
Speaker:Okay, we have covered a lot of ground on the topic of goals, but what I like
Speaker:about all of this, because I think some people might listen and be like,
Speaker:that's a lot of talking about goals.
Speaker:But what I like about this is We're not talking about planning, right?
Speaker:Planning is separate from goal setting.
Speaker:Um, they get conflated because everybody buys a planner that asks what
Speaker:your goals are in the front of it, I think, and that makes us think both
Speaker:are the same thing, but they're not.
Speaker:So what I like is that, you know, we were, you were able, I take
Speaker:credit for things, all I do is ask the questions around here, but
Speaker:still an important piece of this entire equation, so let's, let's not diminish it
Speaker:I will take my 50 percent credit where it is given.
Speaker:But, so we've talked about the importance of understanding the why behind your goal.
Speaker:And, you know, I loved what you said about it really comes down to you have to
Speaker:have a hard conversation with yourself.
Speaker:Why do you want that?
Speaker:What is it?
Speaker:And if you want it because Joe Schmo, your neighbor, wants it, That's fine so
Speaker:long as you're honest with yourself that that is why you're driving toward it.
Speaker:It's not it's not internal, right?
Speaker:There's an external force.
Speaker:So I think that was a really good point that I hope anybody watching
Speaker:or listening takes home with them.
Speaker:Also, That piece of how you can make sure that your goals actually
Speaker:align with the rest of you, right?
Speaker:The values, the desires, that's back to that hard conversation.
Speaker:But that hard conversation gives you that piece too.
Speaker:And then the realistic goal setting.
Speaker:I mean, for me personally, that's one of those things where I'm like, how often
Speaker:do you talk about this to me, Gwen?
Speaker:I mean, you and me talk like three times a week.
Speaker:You would think I wouldn't be sitting here acting like that was a big
Speaker:bombshell that you just dropped.
Speaker:Bye!
Speaker:It is because so rarely is there anybody who says, Hey, before you
Speaker:set that goal, let's just get really clear based on your stage of business.
Speaker:This is what best would look like for most people.
Speaker:Like you said, maybe you're going between year one and year two, and
Speaker:best might be doubling or tripling, but this is actually what's realistic.
Speaker:This is the average.
Speaker:You don't give them this pie in the sky, shoot for the moon,
Speaker:land above the scars, tripe.
Speaker:stuff that we hear all the time.
Speaker:And finally, we talked about like the worst case scenario
Speaker:of those misaligned goals.
Speaker:And all too often, and I think that again, I'm going to speak of the women
Speaker:I talk to, that frustration and burnout is happening more often than not.
Speaker:Oh yeah, I, I absolutely agree with that.
Speaker:That's
Speaker:and I, I would go back to, right.
Speaker:And nobody sees that as, Oh, My goals were wrong.
Speaker:They see it as, I am a failure, as a business owner, as a human, as a
Speaker:service provider, or course creator, whatever, insert title and label there.
Speaker:And I think that's the big disservice that we do to ourselves by not
Speaker:seeking out these reality checks.
Speaker:And I get it.
Speaker:You can't seek it out if you don't know it exists.
Speaker:Um, so with that, Gwen, what I'd like to do actually is.
Speaker:I would like to invite anybody listening to email me directly, actually,
Speaker:Tonya at everydayeffectiveness.
Speaker:com.
Speaker:Now, this is the tricky part.
Speaker:Tonya spelled T O N Y A at everydayeffectiveness.
Speaker:com.
Speaker:And here's what I want from you.
Speaker:I want to know what your goal is, and I want to know why you have that goal.
Speaker:And back to Gwen's point, and I know Gwen will reinforce this, No judgment, right?
Speaker:Like you, you say that your goal is to only work three months out of
Speaker:the year and vacation nine months.
Speaker:Like, I'm not going to judge that.
Speaker:Gwen's not going to judge that.
Speaker:But what I would love to do is have that conversation.
Speaker:with you and let's reality check it together.
Speaker:Let's bring in Gwen if it makes sense.
Speaker:But I think, you know, part of why I know Gwen, I got you so excited about
Speaker:this podcast because we've alternated our excitement levels when it's come to
Speaker:hosting is having this opportunity to have this conversation in a public forum,
Speaker:to make sure everybody is understanding what's realistic, real and average
Speaker:and having the two way conversations.
Speaker:it is so important for people to hear that maybe what they're struggling with
Speaker:More people are struggling with, and I know that that's been the big goal for
Speaker:us on this is for us to have the, the, the opportunity to, to say things that
Speaker:maybe no one has heard before and to say, no, that's actually reasonable.
Speaker:It's completely okay.
Speaker:And we support you in, in doing that.
Speaker:And, uh, there will be no judgment
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:in, in what, in what you're, what you're choosing, because your choice is for you.
Speaker:It's not for me.
Speaker:Oh my gosh, so good.
Speaker:Okay, so thank you for tuning in to The Business You Really Want.
Speaker:Now, if you've enjoyed this episode,
Speaker:please subscribe, share with a friend, leave us a review, all those
Speaker:things that podcasters ask you to do.
Speaker:But most importantly, what I would really love for you to do is email.
Speaker:Email me.
Speaker:Tonya at everydayeffectiveness.
Speaker:com.
Speaker:And if you don't have a goal you want to share, just email me and
Speaker:say, Hey, Tonya, I listened to that episode where you asked me to share
Speaker:a goal, but I'm not sharing a goal.
Speaker:And you told me that I didn't have to do what I didn't want
Speaker:to do because that works too.
Speaker:We look forward to joining you next time.
Speaker:We're going to continue looking into these key aspects of business
Speaker:and how they affect each other in addition to your overall business.
Speaker:So until next time, keep at building the business you really want.
