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Daring to be HAPPY with Lila B - Lila B 9th November 2017
25: There's something wrong with me
00:00:00 00:15:23

25: There's something wrong with me

I want to start today's episode with a quickie chat with my friend Jen. We just recorded this interview while in the car yesterday morning at 7am on the way to the airport.
Jen shares an example of how she used meditation in the workplace. I’d love to hear if anyone else has ever tried creating a meditation group with your work colleagues and how it has helped you.
While we were recording that, Kate was also filming us for her Instagram story, so if you want to see the behind the scenes of recording literally on the road and learn more about the day in the life of a digital nomad, check out Kate’s Instagram channel @theremotenomad 
Speaking of Instagram, I have just launched a brand new Instagram channel called Daring To Be. I’ll be posting lots of inspirational quotes that come directly from my podcast interviews as well as sharing all the other things that inspire me in life and help me remain conscious. I’ll also regularly be sharing my behind the scenes life as a modern-day monk via Instagram stories so hop on over to Instagram and let’s connect!

There’s something wrong with me

So I want to move now into today’s topic which is something that’s been plaguing me for a couple of weeks now.
I’ve been having a lot of thoughts. Nothing new about that but it’s the paying attention to the content which has been causing me pain.
Things like:
  • What am I doing with my life?
  • What am I even good at? I don’t think I’m good at anything
  • I’ve never really succeeded at anything
  • I’ve pretty much failed at everything I’ve ever done
  • Why can’t I just be normal, like everybody else?
  • Why do I always choose to do things the hard way?
  • Why can’t my life just be easier?
  • Why can’t I have what she has?
  • When am I going to meet a guy?
  • Why can’t I meet a guy? Why does it have to be so hard?
  • Why does nobody like me?
  • They must think I’m crazy
  • They must think I’m a loser
  • They’re probably right
  • There must be something wrong with me
  • There’s definitely something wrong with me
  • I think I must be going to crazy
  • No wonder nobody likes me. I don’t like me. Why would anybody want to be around me, or listen to me? If they had any idea what was going on inside my head they would run a mile
  • There’s definitely something terribly wrong with me.
Anyone ever had any thoughts like that?
Tell me, how did it feel listening to all of that. Was it difficult to listen to? Maybe it was familiar, maybe you recognised some of those thoughts. Side note, if you did and we're both having the exact same thoughts, whose thoughts are they? Is it your thought, or is it mine? Who does this thought belong to - what if it’s neither of us?
Anyway, regardless listening to all of that is a bit of a downer right. They're what I called downward spiralling or low vibe.
And the thing is this goes way beyond simply negative thinking. These are all just voices inside your head. If this voice inside your head, that sounds very much like you, said these things out loud to you, how would you react? Would you let that person stay hanging around you for very long? Or would you demand they leave the room, or ignore them? The thing is we would never tolerate this sort of commentary if it was actually said out loud.
I refer to these types of thoughts as self-violent thoughts. I’m not talking about being physically...