The second key to an intimate marriage is Embrace Honesty. In this episode I won’t be addressing the major dishonesties such as infidelity, hidden bank accounts, and finding out paternity wasn’t what everyone thought. Instead, I am addressing the small moments where you avoid stating your truth because you think it’s more convenient when actually it’s doing harm.
Whenever you answer “how are you?” with “I’m fine,” (and you’re not fine), it builds a wall between you and your spouse. By dampening your response you’re training your partner to be less responsive to your subtle signals and less sensitive to what is happening in your soul.
In order to be honest at this level, it takes a lot of bravery, self-awareness, and willingness to express what is happening. It also takes letting go of resentment.
I got rid of my resentment “straight jacket” in 2 ways:
I learned to clear my resentments, (something I cover in detail in the Aligned & Hot Marriage program).
I learned how to speak up so I wasn’t building resentment in the first place.
Begin with embracing honesty with yourself. Then make a point of making the seemingly small communications with your partner honest too. It will transform so much more than you can imagine.