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176. From Devastating Divorce to Intentionally Fabulous with Kelli Calabrese
9th December 2021 • The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller • Dr Brad Miller
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Kelli Calabrese is Dr. Brad Miller’s guest on Episode 176 of “The Beyond Adversity Podcast.”

Kelli Calabrese is the author of several books including Success Habits of Super Achievers, and Mom and Dadpreneurs. She has the course called the Intentionally Fabulous course, which is all about helping people, particularly women to navigate the extremely painful process of separation and divorce. 

In this episode, Kelli shared about the stages of separation and divorce, and how to go from fearful to fearless and set your soul on fire in the process. 

Episode 176 of The Beyond Adversity Podcast is a must-listen for you to know the

specific steps that you can apply to your life, particularly if you're going through a separation.

“The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller is published weekly with the mission of helping people “Grow Through What They Go Through” as they navigate adversity and discover their promised life of peace, prosperity and purpose. 

https://www.intentionallyfabulous.com/?r_done=1 

Website: https://kellicalabrese.com/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kellicalabrese 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KelliCalabrese 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellicalabrese1/?hl=en 

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Kelli-Calabrese/e/B071P765DG%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share 

Transcripts

Dr. Brad Miller: 0:00

From devastating divorce to intentionally fabulous with Kelli Calabrese, the creator of

Dr. Brad Miller: 0:11

the intentionally fabulous course on episode number 176 of the Beyond Adversity P podcast with Dr. Brad Miller.

Kelli Calabrese: 0:24

I know that's not reasonable or realistic for most people to have that kind of commitment or luxury to do that.

Kelli Calabrese: 0:31

But I just had to until I got to a point where I felt like, okay, I can get back up again.

Kimberley Pittman Schulz: 0:40

Hello, this is Kimberly Pittman Schultz, author of grieving us- a field guide for living with loss without losing yourself, or I help grieving people find their way back into their lives.

Kimberley Pittman Schulz: 0:52

Dr. Brad Miller is here to help you to grow through what you go through on the beyond adversity podcast

Dr. Brad Miller: 0:58

Welcome to the Beyond adversity podcast with Dr. Brad Miller, the show dedicated to helping you

Dr. Brad Miller: 1:06

crush adversity and succeed in life. Brad believes you deserve a life that is fulfilling and impactful. And this show is designed to help you navigate beyond adversity and achieve

Dr. Brad Miller: 1:17

your life of peace, prosperity, and purpose. Now, here's Dr. Brad.

Dr. Brad Miller: 1:23

Hello, good people. And welcome to Beyond adversity with Dr. Brad Miller. It's so awesome to have you here with me today on the podcast, which will help you to grow

Dr. Brad Miller: 1:31

through what you go through. Navigating adverse life events to achieve your life at peace, prosperity, and purpose.

Dr. Brad Miller: 1:40

Head on over to Dr.Brad miller.com, where we have over 170 episodes of the podcast, which will help you to get through any of what we call the five Ds of life

Dr. Brad Miller: 1:52

depression, divorce, disease, debt, and death. We've got a free gift for you there as well.

Dr. Brad Miller: 1:58

One of the things we just mentioned was divorce. Our author, guest today, Kelli Calabrese is the author of several books including success habits of super achievers,

Dr. Brad Miller: 2:09

and mom and dadpreneurs. But she is also a person who has the course called the

Dr. Brad Miller: 2:17

intentionally fabulous course, which is all about helping people, particularly women to navigate the extremely painful process of separation and divorce.

Dr. Brad Miller: 2:30

On our podcast episode today with Kelli Calabrese, we're going to learn a few things were learned about the stages of separation and divorce,

Dr. Brad Miller: 2:39

and how to go from fearful to fearless. And to set your soul on fire in the process. We're going to feel something as well we're going to feel Kelly share the pain and the agony of

Dr. Brad Miller: 2:52

her own divorce and all the things that went with it anxiety and depression and the situation with her

Dr. Brad Miller: 2:58

own children, and how to navigate those to come out to a better place. And when we come back

Dr. Brad Miller: 3:06

from the interview, we're going to talk about what you can do about it. We're going to talk about some

Dr. Brad Miller: 3:11

specific steps that Kelly outlines that you can apply to your life, particularly if you're going through a separation

Dr. Brad Miller: 3:18

or divorce. We know that separation divorce is one of the key adversities that people go through.

Dr. Brad Miller: 3:24

And we're here to deal with it here on the beyond adversity podcast with Dr. Brad Miller.

Dr. Brad Miller: 3:30

She blogs at https://kellicalabrese.com/. Our guest today on beyond adversity Kelli Calabrese. Let's get into that conversation right now.

Dr. Brad Miller: 3:48

Our guest today is Kelli Calabrese. She is who has the book success habits of super achievers,

Dr. Brad Miller: 3:54

but she also really focuses in on a program called intentionally fabulous, which is helpful for people who are going through stages of separation and divorce, to go from fearful to

Dr. Brad Miller: 4:05

fearlessly pursuing what sets their soul on fire. So we welcome to Beyond adversity Kelli Calabrese

Kelli Calabrese: 4:14

Oh, Brad, thank you so much for having me. It's an absolute honor to be here.

Dr. Brad Miller: 4:19

It is indeed a pleasure to have you and your expertise to come share with our audience about some of the things

Dr. Brad Miller: 4:28

that you've worked on not only your book, but also your course. But also your story. And Kelli really

Dr. Brad Miller: 3:34

like to hear your story. We like to hear how they are maybe in some adverse life event in your life that really was life changing for you and made a big difference.

Kelli Calabrese: 4:47

Oh, thank you. Yes, I have been blessed to have had such a beautiful life I truly truly did.

Kelli Calabrese: 4:54

For a long, long time just had this blessed life and just fortunate to do so many things that parents

Kelli Calabrese: 4:59

who love Me and got married, got college degrees, two beautiful children had a really fantastic career,

Kelli Calabrese: 5:08

where I got to travel the world and be on all the major networks and write books and speak and teach.

Kelli Calabrese: 5:14

And the big turning point for me was when my husband of 24 years came home, and he said,

Kelli Calabrese: 5:20

My commitment to our marriage is zero. And he left. And it floored me, it took me to my knees,

Kelli Calabrese: 5:29

I truly was in shock. And it made me reevaluate everything. In my world. The divorce

Kelli Calabrese: 5:38

came in for me like a tornado. And it just blew up every area of my life and left me with this gaping hole in my heart that I had never experienced pain like that before.

Kelli Calabrese: 5:49

Even though I had lost in my life, I lost my dad, my best friend to cancer, things had happened,

Kelli Calabrese: 5:54

because obviously being in business for 34 years, there's ups and downs. But this was the thing that got my attention. So it was that was a turning point for me.

Dr. Brad Miller 6:04

And you really did not have a feeling that was coming. It was quite a shock to you is that is that the case?

Kelli Calabrese: 6:10

You know what I have almost no divorce on either side of my family. We just took our marriage seriously,

Kelli Calabrese: 6:18

I was fully committed as a wife till death do us part. Looking back now we were kind of

Kelli Calabrese: 6:24

both limping along in the marriage, for sure. But I just never thought that he would leave

Kelli Calabrese: 6:31

knowing what I know. Now there's a lot of things that I understand, of course, it's never 100% him and 0% Me, you need to pull the mirror up, see what your part in it is.

Kelli Calabrese: 6:41

it was a slow fade, know, if I'm looking back and really being honest, it declined. What I learned is that the person who leaves has been thinking about it on average for two

Kelli Calabrese: 6:52

years. But the person who gets the news, it's, you know, it can really be a shock unless you've had conversations before that. So it was a shock for me,

Dr. Brad Miller 7:01

whether children involved in marriage,

Kelli Calabrese: 7:04

my daughter was going into her junior year of high school and my son going into his senior year of high school,

Kelli Calabrese: 7:11

so any age is challenging, but at that age where they're, you know, getting their driver's license, and the first job and, you know, really becoming independent, and my role as a

Kelli Calabrese: 7:19

mom is changing, and they're getting ready to go off to college. So it was definitely a transitional season. And, and they were shocked. I mean, really ripped out of our worlds as we knew it,

Dr. Brad Miller 7:29

rocked everybody's world through the course sounds like wow. And as you say, most divorces occur somewhere mutual, but many times it's where one party wants it in one party is either shocked or doesn't want it. And therefore it can lead to all kinds of other

Dr. Brad Miller: 7:48

things depression and acting out and all kinds of unhealthy ways. I'm, it's been a long time.

Dr. Brad Miller: 7:54

In fact, I just celebrated my 30th anniversary in my marriage. However, I had a nine year marriage before that,

Dr. Brad Miller: 8:00

that ended in divorce. And I just know that to be incredibly painful time and the time of

Dr. Brad Miller: 8:08

reevaluation and to end depression and all kinds of feelings, and it still remain pertinent in one's life

Dr. Brad Miller: 8:15

throughout your whole life. And, but the idea here is, you know, a lot of folks, Kelli, when

Dr. Brad Miller: 8:22

they go through a divorce, they don't function, you know, they get stuck. They spiral into

Dr. Brad Miller: 8:32

some healthy, unhealthy behaviors, and so on. Tell me the story of how you processed

Dr. Brad Miller: 8:39

your divorce and the other things that came with it the collateral damage with your children and your mental health and anything else?

Dr. Brad Miller: 8:45

How you process that and maybe some of the decisions you made to begin to break out

Dr. Brad Miller: 8:50

of whatever spiraling patterns you might have been in what were some of the actions that you took?

Kelli Calabrese: 8:55

That is a great question. So I am a knowledge person, I needed to understand this. So I took

Kelli Calabrese: 9:02

really three years of what I lovingly call a sabbatical. And I was in the word, I went straight to divorce recovery before I even received the divorce papers.

Kelli Calabrese: 9:12

I was in prayer groups, Bible studies, I was at the conferences. I was listening to four

Kelli Calabrese: 9:18

sermons a day, I had worship music on constantly, I was surrounded by wise friends, I

Kelli Calabrese: 9:23

was in Christian counseling, I was going to the healing place. And I know that's not

Kelli Calabrese: 9:27

reasonable or realistic for most people to have that kind of commitment or luxury to do that.

Kelli Calabrese: 9:34

But I just had to until I got to a point where I felt like, okay, I can get back up again.

Kelli Calabrese: 9:42

Because while you're going through the season, there's unreasonably difficult things happening, you know, you're moving the kids are changing schools.

Kelli Calabrese: 9:48

You know, there were car accidents, broken bones, broken teeth, you're getting served divorce papers,

Kelli Calabrese: 9:53

you know, so it just seems like a trigger and insulted and so, so it wasn't just you know,

Kelli Calabrese: 9:59

it's not a linear kind of thing, you're still trying to live and pay bills. And so I went through this three years of really pressing in to see what it was going to take for me to heal.

Kelli Calabrese::

I did deliverance on every piece, you know, some were more impactful than others,

Kelli Calabrese::

some really peel back the layers and, and made a difference for me. And, you know, I know what those things were.

Kelli Calabrese::

And those are the things that I used to put in my course. So I took massive action I didn't, I was still, you know, I had quiet time, too. But I really took aggressive action.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Yeah, you mentioned just a number of things there. You mentioned, Well, first of all,

Dr. Brad Miller::

you know, you have the context of how oftentimes when disaster happens, it just seemed to snowball effect,

Dr. Brad Miller::

even small things, lose your keys becomes a major deal. But you had significant things

Dr. Brad Miller::

with health related things, you mentioned car accidents, and so on. It just seems like those things get magnified or stack upon one another.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And that, for whatever reason, you know, we have left herself kind of wide open to how those bad events can stack on it,

Dr. Brad Miller::

then, you know, because then you have to take more action. But you mentioned, you know, counseling, you mentioned, Bible study, you mentioned worship experiences,

Dr. Brad Miller::

music, you mentioned also connecting with others. That's awesome. And what you

Dr. Brad Miller::

mentioned there, I think is really pertinent to our audience, you took massive action.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And it took a while it wasn't instantaneous, it was a three year sabbatical, I think you called it. But you took the action. And you built on one thing built upon another,

Kelli Calabrese::

I actually got certified as a divorce coach by the American Association of Christian

Kelli Calabrese::

Counselors for myself. I never planned out obviously, this was part of God's plan, plan,

Kelli Calabrese::

but really using that certification to help other women, I just went for the self knowledge.

Kelli Calabrese::

So I was trying, I wish that I had the course that I put together for me, but I had to go and find it myself and piece it together,

Dr. Brad Miller::

do some intentional healing there of your, of your body, mind and soul there. And so

Dr. Brad Miller::

let's talk about the soul part for a minute, the inner life. And I'm just a big believer that if

Dr. Brad Miller::

we're going to navigate through adverse life events, like a divorce, part of it is what we just talked about taking the massive action,

Dr. Brad Miller::

but another part of it is connecting to that which is above and beyond self, you know, it's so easy to get, you know, kind of self-pity and poor me and, you know, dissolve into a

Dr. Brad Miller::

spiral of, you know, destructive behavior as some people go off into, you know, alcohol or something else, or some other bad, destructive thing. But let's talk about the

Dr. Brad Miller::

importance. In your case, you mentioned a couple things about the spiritual life or about the inner life

Dr. Brad Miller::

or about connecting to something greater than self. Let's talk about the spiritual aspects

Dr. Brad Miller::

of this for you. What part did that play in your, in your healing process?

Kelli Calabrese::

God really had me in a season of being still and I was terrible at it. I was not good at it.

Kelli Calabrese::

And you know, these are my conversations with the Lord like you made me a doer, you designed me to be responsible and be an action.

Kelli Calabrese::

And you know, just like any good father, when your child is, you know, sick or tired or wounded or ill,

Kelli Calabrese::

you want them to lie down in green pastures and be still so I fought that for a bit, until he I just kept getting

Kelli Calabrese::

knocked down so many times that I almost had to just lay there, my brain wasn't functioning.

Kelli Calabrese::

And so I would lay out in my backyard, I've got a lake out there. And there's an empty lounge chair next to me.

Kelli Calabrese::

And I would just imagine Jesus in that lounge chair, and I would imagine heaven, and just being able to cast

Kelli Calabrese::

care by care at the foot of the cross. And there were incredible, miraculous things that happen

Kelli Calabrese::

throughout that season that God showed me that he never left me and forsake me that I can trust

Kelli Calabrese::

him that he saw me. So the connection was definitely there. And I kept having to go back to what's the last thing you heard, and that was be still. I didn't have the marching

Kelli Calabrese::

orders for the next thing. So I really had to be obedient to that or I was going to drive myself crazy. And so I decided finally, after kicking and screaming that being still and just crawling up in his lap, was what I needed in that season.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So a next step for you in a way was kind of a step back and a sense of being still you know,

Dr. Brad Miller::

your your your nature, would it be just as you mentioned, massive actions what you did,

Dr. Brad Miller::

you know, to jump in and I'm going to fix this thing I'm going to get in a year and I'm going to do whatever it takes. But your spiritual leanings were saying okay, Kelly, you know, Pump the brakes here, we just need to take a moment here for the Lord to speak

Dr. Brad Miller::

into your life and do a little inner healing as well. So that's, that's an awesome thing. Did you use any tools for that. I'm thinking of things such as a Bible study or journaling or guided prayers or anything along that line.

Kelli Calabrese::

I did all the things. So if I did have a morning appointment, I would wake up two hours

Kelli Calabrese::

before that first appointment that I needed to be prepared for. And I would first lay in bed just to gratitude.

Kelli Calabrese::

And you know, even when it seems like there's nothing to be thankful for, and okay, you have a pen, you know, like, start somewhere.

Kelli Calabrese::

And, you know, it started very mechanical like that, and then it, it got amazing, but I wouldn't get up until I did gratitude.

Kelli Calabrese::

And then I would pray as I would walk and go out and just walk and be in nature, and

Kelli Calabrese::

there's a lake near me. So I would walk around the lake and just see the creatures and

Kelli Calabrese::

be in awe of God and creation. And then I would listen to a sermon while I was, you know,

Kelli Calabrese::

exercising, and then I'd have praise music on while I was, you know, taking a shower or

Kelli Calabrese::

brushing my teeth, putting on makeup, just getting ready in the background, making my green drink. So I made sure that I had good morning and evening routines,

Kelli Calabrese::

and then whatever happened in the middle was just going to be a bonus. So it meant,

Kelli Calabrese::

you know, at night, I was in the word I was journaling every night. So I definitely was

Kelli Calabrese::

very disciplined about having a good routine, because I knew that some of the physical things were things that I could do something about, and then God was going to rest.

Kelli Calabrese::

So my part was to stay healthy, stay in the word, keep renewing my mind, renewing my mind, renewing my mind. So I was very intentional about those things.

Dr. Brad Miller::

That's granted, you share it about these disciplines, these habits, these routines you did your morning routine, your evening routine, your your routines that had to do with your physical

Dr. Brad Miller::

health, your body, your your walking around the lake, your green smoothies, your route your,

Dr. Brad Miller::

your spiritual routines that you had, I'm just a big believer that we have to have a cognitive piece for healing, we have to have kind of the physical piece was the action

Dr. Brad Miller::

piece. And we have to have the spiritual piece, which is the inner life. But we also have

Dr. Brad Miller::

to you know, have those routines, those disciplines those habits, which help us to, to

Dr. Brad Miller::

advance through our, our adverse life experience. And that's awesome that you did that.

Dr. Brad Miller::

But there's also the emotional piece, Kelly, the emotional piece, as you've been rocked your life has been devastated by this divorce, you also have to deal with I don't know all

Dr. Brad Miller::

the details, but I know that they're there. Because with your your kids, you have

Dr. Brad Miller::

teenagers at the time. And you know, you have to deal with whatever emotional Fallout

Dr. Brad Miller::

came with, with a divorce. You know, I have a I know the most difficult part of my divorce

Dr. Brad Miller::

was my dealing with my my daughter who was only one year old at the time, she's 35. Now, but, you know, that's all involved here.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Like to talk about this emotional piece in some of the ways that some healing took place through other people, we know that there was some devastating emotional things going on.

Dr. Brad Miller::

But also to have healing. Oftentimes, we have to call upon other people to develop

Dr. Brad Miller::

healthy relationships to kind of speak to the unhealthy or destructive relationships. So

Dr. Brad Miller::

tell us about any aspect of this played, whether friends or family or professional counselors, it might even be in,

Dr. Brad Miller::

I believe relationships can even happen through courses or through a book or through, you know, some mentor-type person, but tell us anything about the emotional piece of the process that you did.

Kelli Calabrese::

And the thing in my life that was attend throughout this entire process was that I have spent a lifetime

Kelli Calabrese::

building quality relationships. So I was surrounded by extraordinary people. But I was a pretty

Kelli Calabrese::

private person. In fact, I didn't even say the word divorce for probably two years, I didn't even tell my mom,

Kelli Calabrese::

my dad had already passed away, or my brother that I was getting divorced until my ex husband had already moved out.

Kelli Calabrese::

So even though I had these great connections and opportunities to talk to people, I was just super private. So I needed to get vulnerable.

Kelli Calabrese::

And I needed to, you know, I work with some professionals, which was a place where I can just go

Kelli Calabrese::

and you know, they don't know me, they're not emotionally attached to me. They're just give me good wisdom.

Kelli Calabrese::

They've coached 10s of 1000s of people through divorce. And before this is not new for them.

Kelli Calabrese::

So I did look for experts. There were definitely friends that one of the first things I did

Kelli Calabrese::

when my husband moved out was I took a blank notebook and I went outside and I wrote a list four pages long of the people that I can call when there were going to be those dark moments.

Kelli Calabrese::

And there were so many times that I had a dark moment that I could just think about

Kelli Calabrese::

About the list and not even have to call someone just knowing there were people out there that I knew who loved me,

Kelli Calabrese::

and who would help me. But in those dark moments, there were friends that I was led to call and they knew exactly what to say. And the Lord just led them about what I needed to hear in that moment.

Kelli Calabrese::

There was dimensioned depression, there were two friends who told me to go to one

Kelli Calabrese::

Christian counselor, and I thought, Well, both of these friends independently said that

Kelli Calabrese::

maybe I should go. And he was 35 years of Christian counselor, amazing man, multiple theology seminary counseling degrees.

Kelli Calabrese::

And he did an assessment on me and he said, Kelly, you have one of the healthiest profiles I've ever seen, you know,

Kelli Calabrese::

you're empathetic or sympathetic. You're, you know, you have no psychosis, no neurosis, no narcissism, but you're depressed. And I was like, ah, you know, you don't even know me.

Kelli Calabrese::

I'm the encourager, I'm the coach, I can't be depressed is that even possible, but I didn't know what situational depression was but what I was.

Kelli Calabrese::

And I, it allowed me to go home and give myself permission to be depressed to go and really grieve the shattered

Kelli Calabrese::

dreams and the unmet expectations. And notice all the stress that was related to this

Kelli Calabrese::

divorce, and that if I went through this depression, it was going to help me to adjust. And it was just a couple of weeks where I really just allowed myself to be deeply sad. And then at some point, I got back up, and I dusted myself off. And not that I'll never be depressed again. But I never fall as hard as deep as long as fast as that season where I just let myself.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And here's the good news that because you've done this good work in your emotional health with friends and with a professional counselor.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And through a process where you dealt with the denial that you mentioned, with your family, and so on, you dealt with that,

Dr. Brad Miller::

and you chose to become vulnerable. If something else happens, and it will, you know, that can be devastating, then you've got

Dr. Brad Miller::

some tools to work with, you've got some emotional tools to work with those friends to call upon, and these processes that you've used here. And now you're using a part of your expertise and your processes that you've learned to be helpful to others.

Dr. Brad Miller::

What led you to want to now take all the stuff you've learned and you process in your life.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And now you have created a course, which is called intentionally fabulous. And you

Dr. Brad Miller::

have a book success habits of super achievers. You've got a process here where people can go to your website and to

Dr. Brad Miller::

learn more about what you offer. But you obviously have poured your heart into people who have this brokenness in their life of divorce, particularly in separation. What led you to this point?

Kelli Calabrese::

So one of my most important intentions was to get two kids, as healthy as they can be in their hearts

Kelli Calabrese::

and successfully off to college. Meaning they're at the schools they want they're doing pursuing the degrees they want. They're both

Kelli Calabrese::

collegiate athletes, but they financially would be taken care of. They had computers and all that.

Kelli Calabrese::

So last August, I checked that box. I had a freshman and a sophomore in college, and I came home and I

Kelli Calabrese::

said, Okay, Lord, I have a blank slate i That was the biggest thing that I wanted to make sure happen,

Kelli Calabrese::

because you feel like you've ruined your kids lives. And so you're now you know, now now what and I really felt like he gave me the the charge to help divorce women to get through this

Kelli Calabrese::

grief cycle to get them back not only to healthy and redefining this life, but to have this

Kelli Calabrese::

fabulous life that intentionally obviously it's the Holy Spirit being intentional and fabulous is it's better than we can ask think or imagine there's still good plans on our life that this

Kelli Calabrese::

season, this adversity doesn't define us that we can use this and we can take our

Kelli Calabrese::

purpose and our passion and there can be profit from this. And it's not always financial

Kelli Calabrese::

profit, but it could be a ministry. So I sat down and I took about four months to create

Kelli Calabrese::

this program, looking at the things that really move the lever for me in my healing and in the process. And I launched the intentionally fabulous course.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Awesome, awesome. So you're giving back you've taken what you've learned and important to

Dr. Brad Miller::

you and you've put your own take on it and made it yourself and kind of you know, branded do this intentionally fabulous,

Dr. Brad Miller::

which I think is just a cool, cool moniker there. That's going to be helpful in terms of getting

Dr. Brad Miller::

you connected to other people. What are people going to find if if the words of our

Dr. Brad Miller::

conversation here reach some woman who's in a similar circumstance that happened

Dr. Brad Miller::

Marriage breakup or a separation? And she goes to your website? And what is she going to find there? What is she going to find or what's she going to find that you offer?

Kelli Calabrese::

Well I mean, the course is eight weeks long. And so what we work on first is your identity,

Kelli Calabrese::

knowing who you are and who you are not in things of the world was to go away in a moment, like being a wife, or a mom or the neighborhood you live in.

Kelli Calabrese::

So we work on identity, we work on forgiveness, it was something that some people don't like

Kelli Calabrese::

to talk about, or was never modeled very well in our homes. But you know, forgiving

Kelli Calabrese::

yourself forgiving God forgiving your ex spouse, you know, children, whoever it might be,

Kelli Calabrese::

we work on renewing your mind, because that that's what we're called to do. So releasing the past

Kelli Calabrese::

renewing, to a new, present, and future. We work on purpose, divine health, abundant wealth, gratitude, joy, resurrection, and celebration.

Kelli Calabrese::

And so there's three different options. As far as the course goes, they can do a self study where

Kelli Calabrese::

the thing can go right now to intentionallyfabulous.com and they can get the course and there's a

Kelli Calabrese::

full healing guide that comes with it. So for example, the week on forgiveness, the

Kelli Calabrese::

healing guide has meditations, affirmations, visualizations, activations, and celebrations

Kelli Calabrese::

that all have to do with forgiveness. And so that's the first program anyone can get the next level to the program includes 21 interviews

Kelli Calabrese::

with the people who helped me on my healing journey. So it's an interview with my divorce recovery

Kelli Calabrese::

counselor, my grief counselor, my healing place counselor, and so on. So 21, my breath therapist

Kelli Calabrese::

just helped me breathe out the stress. And then the highest level is where they can actually have coaching with me.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Well, so there's a graduated process here, people can start at one level, and they can go deeper and deeper. And to find their pathway. I'd love what you say, in some of your materials

Dr. Brad Miller::

about to go from a fearful to fearfully pursuing what sets your soul on fire. And so that's the whole process

Dr. Brad Miller::

here to help people move through whatever they're going through to a better place.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Tell us about a person or situation who you've worked with who you've seen this take place where you've seen their soul go from, you know, just diminished, not on fire, you know, just messed

Dr. Brad Miller::

up or whatever it would be, to a soul on fire. Just, you know, no names, of course, but just to situation someone you have seen a transformation take place.

Kelli Calabrese::

Yeah, so one of my goals first always, is to keep the marriage together. So

Kelli Calabrese::

if that's possible, as long as it's not, you know, abusive or too far gone. But one of the very first ladies that I work with, she came in

Kelli Calabrese::

going, I can't even stand to be in the room with him, I don't even want to look at him, you know,

Kelli Calabrese::

just she was done, she was ready to call it quits. And so I worked with her. And

Kelli Calabrese::

sometimes you know, when you can just work on the person, and it's between her and God,

Kelli Calabrese::

that things can change in the relationship, and God will do his part to be able to your part.

Kelli Calabrese::

And so I worked with her on what she needed to work on. And it's been three years now. And I just get so much joy when I see their pictures on social media, and they're

Kelli Calabrese::

still together. And they're just so in love and vacationing and hugging and pictures. And I mean

Kelli Calabrese::

really genuine, deep, deep love for each other. And I think that could have went the other way had we not worked together.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And then also when you say that results of your work come out to a better place. And that's a good thing.

Kelli Calabrese::

There was someone seven years post divorce. I mean, it could be anywhere in this cycle.

Kelli Calabrese::

And she just kept repeating over and over it was the same man but with a different face

Kelli Calabrese::

because she wasn't dealing with the things that she needed to deal with with her worth

Kelli Calabrese::

and being lovable and so on. And so we work together and now she hasn't been dating for a

Kelli Calabrese::

while and she's waiting on the man that God has for her and the anxiety is gone about having

Kelli Calabrese::

to be with a man she's a whole person just for and God and I've seen her bloom and

Kelli Calabrese::

have joy and it's beautiful that she got out of that cycle of just you know, kind of finding the next man but the same man because of you know what her thoughts were

Dr. Brad Miller::

her self worth is no longer codependent on hate other person. And that's a gift that you've been

Dr. Brad Miller::

able to give her I worked with a person a couple one time I heard about this where they married each other three times.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And then they there was other multiple marriages beyond that because they kept going back not breaking the patterns that they were

Dr. Brad Miller::

in and just people do crazy stuff. And what we're looking here to do on the beyond adversity

Dr. Brad Miller::

podcast and what I teach and what you're teaching your Kelly is to help people break some patterns because They can get stuck in adversity

Dr. Brad Miller::

and that's not where you want to be. You want to have a life of a fabulous life as you say

Dr. Brad Miller::

or soul on fire life and like, I like to say as a life of peace and prosperity and purpose.

Dr. Brad Miller::

You got some good stuff here, Kelly, tell us how people if they want to be in contact with you want to learn more about you or learn more about the attentionally fabulous course or anything else?

Dr. Brad Miller::

Where can they find you? Where can they get connected with Kelli Calabrese?

Kelli Calabrese::

I would love that. Well, my website is Kellicalabrese.com. And if they would like to get a free copy of the success habits

Kelli Calabrese::

book, they can get that there. And on Facebook, it's my name, Kelli Calabrese, and if they want to join, I have a

Kelli Calabrese::

free private Facebook group called intentionally fabulous, where the ladies can go and you know, we talk

Kelli Calabrese::

about the hard things were real, we're vulnerable. We have fun, we laugh, we support each other, we encourage

Kelli Calabrese::

each other. So anyone who's had any relationship difficulty, who's a woman is welcome to join us there.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Oh, that is awesome. And what you're also talking about here, which is so important is developing a trusting community.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And that's a part of what you're about as well. And I appreciate that. And I would say for

Dr. Brad Miller::

folks, especially if you are among the listeners of beyond adversity and you want to get connected with some help in this area, reach out to somebody whether it's Kelli or somebody else

Dr. Brad Miller::

to reach out to him to choose to break a pattern. Choose to take the action and what

Dr. Brad Miller::

action you can take is to go to Kellicalabrese.com, what's the website and make connections to your course we'll put on our show notes. Dr. Brad Miller.com.

Dr. Brad Miller::

It's been a pleasure to have you with us today Kelli Calabrese. She is on a mission to help women go through the stages

Dr. Brad Miller::

of separation and divorce and to transition in their life from fearful to fearlessly pursuing the what sets our soul on fire.

Dr. Brad Miller::

We thank our guest today on beyond adversity with Dr. Brad Miller, Kelli Calabrese.

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