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196: Discover The Power Of Building A Givers Community With E.A. Csolokovits
Episode 19628th April 2022 • The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller • Dr Brad Miller
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E.A. Csolkovits is Dr. Brad Miller’s guest on Episode 196 of “The Beyond Adversity Podcast.”

He is the founder of Givers University.

Givers University aims to help and teach people about self-development. It is also his way to fulfill the wishes of his mentor.

E.A. was mentored by Sam Robbins. Over the years, he has been inspired by how Sam overcame his own adversity. He was able to learn a lot through him.

E.A. got betrayed by his partner and was planning on kicking him out from the company. Fortunately, due to the recording on his phone, he was able to learn about the plan. Until now, he hasn’t told that ‘partner’ that he actually discovered what his evil plans are.

In this episode, E.A. will be sharing with us his story of how he overcame the challenges in his life. He will also be sharing with us all about Givers University.

Episode 196 of The Beyond Adversity Podcast is recommended for those who got betrayed by someone in their lives and are trying to overcome that situation. 

Sam once told to EA that he should let his intellect control his emotions rather than the emotions controlling his intellect. It always better to be responsive than being reactive.

“The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller is published weekly with the mission of helping people “Grow Through What They Go Through” as they navigate adversity and discover their promised life of peace, prosperity, and purpose. 

http://giversuniversity.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/giversuniversity/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GiversUniversity/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/giversu

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWb0m3mHBSgbJNSDkknEaIQ

Transcripts

Dr. Brad Miller::

We have EA Csolkovits with us. He is from giversuniversity.com.

Dr. Brad Miller::

He has an incredible background as an entrepreneur and in the

Dr. Brad Miller::

business world. But in recent times, he's really focused on personal

Dr. Brad Miller::

self-development and helping other people do that too, particularly

Dr. Brad Miller::

with the tension and the dichotomy he sees between people

Dr. Brad Miller::

who are givers and takers. So we're going to get into that here today.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So EA Csolkovits Welcome to Beyond Adversity.

EA Csolkovits::

Dr. Brad Miller, thank you so much for having me on your great show,

EA Csolkovits::

and looking forward to be able to share some great golden nuggets

EA Csolkovits::

with your listeners. Thank you for having me.

Dr. Brad Miller::

I know that you will, I know that you have a great story to tell.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And you've had some great success in your life. It's a great highs, but

Dr. Brad Miller::

also some lows and some challenges, and some things to offer to people.

Dr. Brad Miller::

But we always like to hear a little bit of an origin story, about maybe

Dr. Brad Miller::

some challenge or adversity or some situation that happened in your

Dr. Brad Miller::

life that particularly became kind of a pivot point for what you're doing

Dr. Brad Miller::

now. Do you have a story that you could tell us about this?

EA Csolkovits::

For sure, for sure. My background actually, a son of a milkman.

EA Csolkovits::

I lived in the Chicagoland area and my father had a one horse

EA Csolkovits::

operation, if you will. Just after that horses. They actually had

EA Csolkovits::

trucks then but you know, and it was a milkman so we delivered

EA Csolkovits::

milk and I was five years old. I used to help them on the route.

EA Csolkovits::

And then at the ripe old age of 16, I set out to become prosperous,

EA Csolkovits::

and I became a janitor. And you think you know, what's that

EA Csolkovits::

got to do with being prosperous, but I had two extraordinary

EA Csolkovits::

events that happened to me while I was janitor. The one was,

EA Csolkovits::

I was able to be bondable at 16 years old, which means insured.

EA Csolkovits::

And because of being insured, I was able to be in a really expensive

EA Csolkovits::

house. And that house I cleaned every Wednesday was of a lady and

EA Csolkovits::

when I say the name won't mean anything to your listeners until I make

EA Csolkovits::

the movie reference. There was a movie out a couple of years ago.

EA Csolkovits::

It was called The Founder. Michael Keaton plays Ray Kroc, and it's

EA Csolkovits::

about McDonald's basically. Right? And it's certainly all Hollywood

EA Csolkovits::

spin. I mean, I lived the whole phenomenon. I lived my whole lifetime.

EA Csolkovits::

I lived in Oak Brook where the McDonald's World Headquarters was so

EA Csolkovits::

I can tell you the movie is Hollywood spin. And it says in the beginning

EA Csolkovits::

based on a true story. Yes, it is based on true story, but it's not the true story.

EA Csolkovits::

So in any event, there's a lady in the movie that Michael Keaton, who plays

EA Csolkovits::

rickrack is talking to outside the office all time, and her name is Jun Martino.

EA Csolkovits::

Jun Martino had the third most controlling stock in McDonald's. First woman to

EA Csolkovits::

ever trade publicly on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. And I cleaned

EA Csolkovits::

her house every Wednesday, the same lady that you see in the movie that Michael

EA Csolkovits::

Keaton is talking outside of her office every day. That's Jun Martino right. And she

EA Csolkovits::

told me one day, we had a whole day about the importance of having a mentor.

EA Csolkovits::

And that Ray had this huge impact and influence on her life. And I remember

EA Csolkovits::

thinking, if I could just get a mentor, if I could get - I don't know. You know, I don't

EA Csolkovits::

even know what I don't know. Son of a milkman, janitor. And so anyway, I wasn't

EA Csolkovits::

a couple of months later, we got a phone call janitorial service. I met this

EA Csolkovits::

gentleman later on, who then subsequently after offered me a job. And he

EA Csolkovits::

probably has one of the most amazing adversity story. So if I can share

EA Csolkovits::

with you his story, and mine dovetails right into it, if that's okay for your

EA Csolkovits::

listeners, because his is extraordinary. He was born during the age, he was

EA Csolkovits::

raised during the Depression era. And he told me all about it. This is the

EA Csolkovits::

man that became my mentor. His name is Sam Robbins. He passed

EA Csolkovits::

away a few decades by now. But he told me about coming up in the

EA Csolkovits::

Depression era, the Great Depression. And he said for some of his meals,

EA Csolkovits::

because people were jumping off buildings committing suicide. They had

EA Csolkovits::

people in multi-mile long soup kitchen lines. He said for some of his meals,

EA Csolkovits::

they actually ate cardboard. So you want to talk about adversity. And every

EA Csolkovits::

day as he walked by a store, just you know, I mean, and he saw that this one

EA Csolkovits::

store and there was only the same man was in the store all the time. So one

EA Csolkovits::

day, he just stopped it. And talking with the guy, it turns out, he was the

EA Csolkovits::

owner. And he says, Man never see anyone. And he goes, Yeah, no one's

EA Csolkovits::

got money. They're trying to put food on their table. They don't have

EA Csolkovits::

money for sewing machines. There was a sewing machine star guy.

EA Csolkovits::

And he says he's obviously just in your collecting dust. Then my

EA Csolkovits::

business mentor said, That's really something they need. And he said,

EA Csolkovits::

I don't even have any employees. I can't afford employees. It's just me.

EA Csolkovits::

So my business mentor had this flash in his mind. And he said, What if

EA Csolkovits::

I could help you sell some of the sewing machines? Would you be open

EA Csolkovits::

to that? And the guy says, Yeah, you better believe it. They're all just

EA Csolkovits::

they're paid for and you're collecting dust, you know, whatever.

EA Csolkovits::

Might as well. I'd like to suggest that I sell them and I make them

EA Csolkovits::

available to people on payments instead of paying them whole

EA Csolkovits::

thing will split the payments. And he said, and I'll back the machine

EA Csolkovits::

in case someone walks with it to make sure you're covered and you're

EA Csolkovits::

never at risk. And the guy says Go for it, they're just collecting dust right

EA Csolkovits::

now. So then my mentor made a flyer and posted it everywhere in the

EA Csolkovits::

neighborhood for women to work from home.

EA Csolkovits::

He said he was so inundated, he couldn't respond to all of the calls.

EA Csolkovits::

kitchen mines, he earned over $1 million.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And how partner to today's world where we have great

EA Csolkovits::

adversity in the world. And people are able to take the,

EA Csolkovits::

for instance, the challenges of COVID. And some folks are

EA Csolkovits::

crushed by it. But other people are really taking adversity

EA Csolkovits::

and using it to their advantage. So

EA Csolkovits::

He took this instance where people are jumping off of

EA Csolkovits::

buildings. And by the way, that was a million dollars

EA Csolkovits::

during the Depression. 10 million plus today usually in

EA Csolkovits::

one year's time. And this man, this is the man that became

EA Csolkovits::

my mentors, extraordinary gentleman, and he began to

EA Csolkovits::

teach me and then I learned and learned and of course

EA Csolkovits::

made many mistakes. I have three huge, I call it my three

EA Csolkovits::

biggest temporary defeats. Each one caused me to write

EA Csolkovits::

a book so that my butt wasn't in that position again. And

EA Csolkovits::

one of them actually caused me to look back to the things

EA Csolkovits::

he trained on me to help me get through that adversity.

EA Csolkovits::

I had bet years ago, Brad I'm sure you remember they

EA Csolkovits::

have. They used to have these things on the on your

EA Csolkovits::

desk is called a voice answering machine.

Dr. Brad Miller::

You and I from era when people actually use those things, right. So

EA Csolkovits::

Yeah, and they hit and I went and it was to tape scenario

EA Csolkovits::

one, the left side was the outgoing message. That was maybe

EA Csolkovits::

15 seconds. And on the right side, was this like a 60 minute

EA Csolkovits::

these are cassette tapes. Right? Right.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Right, right.

EA Csolkovits::

Yes, way back way, way back when. So I had a 60 minute

EA Csolkovits::

tape and my incoming messages and it was voice actuated.

EA Csolkovits::

And I was being mentored by my mentor and separately,

EA Csolkovits::

totally separate had started a training company with another

EA Csolkovits::

gentleman doing very well in the Chicagoland area training

EA Csolkovits::

companies and great ways to grow their business, etc.

EA Csolkovits::

And what he did is he put together a plan for women to make clothing

EA Csolkovits::

and he would sell them a sewing machine on payments.

EA Csolkovits::

He would provide them with the patterns, all the material, and

EA Csolkovits::

he guaranteed he would buy the clothing from them, actually

EA Csolkovits::

guaranteeing their income. Then he turned around and from the

EA Csolkovits::

clothing he bought from all of these women, he then sold them

EA Csolkovits::

to stores as handmade, high quality discounted clothing that

EA Csolkovits::

store then made available to customers at a big discount, but

EA Csolkovits::

high quality handmade clothing. So literally, in the time period bread.

EA Csolkovits::

When people are jumping off of buildings, multi-mile long soup

EA Csolkovits::

We were doing very, very well open multiple offices. And I

EA Csolkovits::

left home for about an hour and a half, Brad. I came back.

EA Csolkovits::

And my whole 60 minute message was filled up. I thought boy,

EA Csolkovits::

well, my machine was voice actuated, that means a lot of someone

EA Csolkovits::

talk, they would keep recording, I thought awesome. Kids got to

EA Csolkovits::

hold this and they're playing with it, you know, totally didn't happen.

EA Csolkovits::

I could hear when I played the message back. My partner, not my

EA Csolkovits::

mentor, my partner, and the training company was leaving me a

EA Csolkovits::

message to call him back. And back then they had this tone. If

EA Csolkovits::

someone was calling you, you could hear this tone in the background

EA Csolkovits::

letting you know someone's trying to call you. While they were talking.

EA Csolkovits::

It was like beep beep in the background. I can hear that on the recording

EA Csolkovits::

that someone else was calling him. He hit the receiver so fast, Brad that

EA Csolkovits::

he put my machine on call conferencing with him and someone else when

EA Csolkovits::

I wasn't home, and it recorded their whole conversation.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And what was it?

EA Csolkovits::

The conversation? Was the detailed plan on how they were going

EA Csolkovits::

to take over the company and kick me out of it.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Oh, sweet. Now let's talk about crushing moment. My goodness.

EA Csolkovits::

And let me tell you, Brad. It's different dimension when you hear it

EA Csolkovits::

in their own words, and it's not third party, you know, when you hear

EA Csolkovits::

those, so I thought what are the odds of this? First of all, you know, what

EA Csolkovits::

are the odds of him calling when I was gone? He could have called me

EA Csolkovits::

when I was home. I just pick up and we talk right? What are the odds of

EA Csolkovits::

that guy calling at the exact same time? And then what were the odds

EA Csolkovits::

of him having that conversation it could talk about golf or anything else.

EA Csolkovits::

But no, it was the plan the plan

Dr. Brad Miller::

For your demise. Wow.

EA Csolkovits::

For my demise. Oh my god, you want to talk about being blindsided?

EA Csolkovits::

You're talking about being betrayed. You want to talk about going

EA Csolkovits::

you know, just I mean, and I thought oh my god, I just I was it was so

EA Csolkovits::

unexpected in every possible way. You know, and I thought

EA Csolkovits::

what am I gonna do?

Dr. Brad Miller::

What was next? What do you do about it then? How did you

Dr. Brad Miller::

react to that at the moment? And then what steps did you

Dr. Brad Miller::

take to break out of that to what's next?

EA Csolkovits::

Well, I have to say that, you know, my first thought was,

EA Csolkovits::

you know, certainly emotionalized

Dr. Brad Miller::

Sure, I can imagine.

EA Csolkovits::

Yeah I mean, I'm getting being blindsided here and I thought

EA Csolkovits::

back to my training. My mentor had given me an over and

EA Csolkovits::

over again and said, and a few things he had said to me

EA Csolkovits::

was one of the following things. One of the few things or

EA Csolkovits::

one of many I should say, he said, in the medical community,

EA Csolkovits::

if you're getting a treatment, and it's working well with you,

EA Csolkovits::

they say you're responding. If you're getting a treatment, the

EA Csolkovits::

medical community and it's not working well on you, they

EA Csolkovits::

call that you're reacting to it, it's you're getting a reaction.

EA Csolkovits::

He said, in life, you want to be responsive, not reaction. And

EA Csolkovits::

he said, here's the way to do it. Always have your intellect

EA Csolkovits::

control your emotions, and you'll be react, responding. When

EA Csolkovits::

your emotions control your intellect, you'll be reacting, and very

EA Csolkovits::

good, very few good things ever come out of that. He said, so

EA Csolkovits::

have your intellect control your emotion. So, Brad, I had this

EA Csolkovits::

sleepless night. And I'm thinking, Man, I gotta like, how am I

EA Csolkovits::

going to do this? And I'm deep. And believe me, I'm reaching

EA Csolkovits::

down deep inside, you know, trying to find out, you know, what

EA Csolkovits::

am I going to do here? So I came to a conclusion by the next

EA Csolkovits::

morning, and I said, Okay, Jim, that was the guy on the training

EA Csolkovits::

copy with, I said, you have to buy me out. And of course, first of

EA Csolkovits::

all, that ruined all of his plans. I knew what the plans were. Yeah.

Dr. Brad Miller::

I'm sure that you were savvy enough to not let him in that you

Dr. Brad Miller::

knew, you know, all the details there.

EA Csolkovits::

Do you know I never, ever told him the tape that the recording

EA Csolkovits::

took place. He never knew. I never ever told him.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Well, you don't need to.

EA Csolkovits::

Nothing was going to come out of that. So I said, Jim, you got

EA Csolkovits::

seven days to buy me out. I'm gonna do something my mentor,

EA Csolkovits::

which I did, and did was planning on doing anyway. So we

EA Csolkovits::

reached an agreement, I gotta tell you that Brad, and I got

EA Csolkovits::

down payment, and I got some payments within each payment,

EA Csolkovits::

I figured was a gift because I already knew what kind of person

EA Csolkovits::

he was. And here's what's interesting. One year later, I saw him

EA Csolkovits::

at an amusement park. And I knew it was him. I mean, he was

EA Csolkovits::

my business partner, but I was at an angle so I could see him clearly.

EA Csolkovits::

And he hadn't seen me because of the angle I was looking at him at.

EA Csolkovits::

And in that one year, Brad, he had gotten file for personal bankruptcy,

EA Csolkovits::

filed for business bankruptcy, gotten divorced, and look like he had

EA Csolkovits::

aged 20 years. And in that same year, I earned more money and was

EA Csolkovits::

more prosperous than at any rear up to that point in my life. Because

EA Csolkovits::

I listened to my mentor and someone who knew what to do in that kind

EA Csolkovits::

of thing. I listened to my training. So first of all,

Dr. Brad Miller::

So that's the key there, I want us to just pause there

Dr. Brad Miller::

just sure I can't hear EA,

EA Csolkovits::

Sure

Dr. Brad Miller::

You had this moment, this pivotal moment where at on its face value,

Dr. Brad Miller::

you could have been crushed and gone into a spiral. And you could

Dr. Brad Miller::

have been the one who had reacted emotionally and badly. And

Dr. Brad Miller::

ended up in a ditch yourself of you know, or whatever. But you

Dr. Brad Miller::

didn't, you chose to listen to your mentor, and to take some

Dr. Brad Miller::

actions that led to a different result for you. And his selfish

Dr. Brad Miller::

attitude led to different results for him. So let's go a little

Dr. Brad Miller::

deeper some of the actions that you took that have led

Dr. Brad Miller::

you down this pathway to what you're doing doing now, for instance.

EA Csolkovits::

Okay, thank you very much. And one of the things that

EA Csolkovits::

would have to take us back in history for a moment, this

EA Csolkovits::

same gentleman that my business mentor when I was

EA Csolkovits::

19 years old, I asked him, I said, Sam, will you teach me

EA Csolkovits::

everything? I want to learn everything? I mean, all of it. And

EA Csolkovits::

he said, Okay, I will teach you but I want one thing from you.

EA Csolkovits::

And I said, Okay, what's that? And he said, when the time is

EA Csolkovits::

right and you will know that time, I want you to teach as many

EA Csolkovits::

people as possible. Everything I taught you. So at 19 years old,

EA Csolkovits::

Brad, I made a vow, I made an oath, that today has manifest

EA Csolkovits::

into what we call Givers University. And it's the fulfillment

EA Csolkovits::

of that oath. And I keep doing it on a daily basis and loving

EA Csolkovits::

it more than ever. What we teach, which is so vital for I think

EA Csolkovits::

your listeners, especially overcoming adversity, is you know,

EA Csolkovits::

we live in a world today, Brad, and we and your listeners know

EA Csolkovits::

this two products are coming and going faster than ever before.

EA Csolkovits::

They're being antiquated overnight by brand new products.

EA Csolkovits::

We have businesses opening and closing. Where before they

EA Csolkovits::

were multigenerational. Now, five - six years, they open and close,

EA Csolkovits::

right? I mean, faster than ever before. So what do we really have left?

EA Csolkovits::

When we look at all of that? The answer is our relationships.

EA Csolkovits::

The answer is our relationships. And no one's teaching us how to

EA Csolkovits::

does discern his relationships. I've done close to 150 interviews

EA Csolkovits::

since last April and different podcasts, not one instance have I

EA Csolkovits::

seen or heard from anyone else where someone is actually

EA Csolkovits::

teaching this following instance, certainly as a course if you will.

EA Csolkovits::

Here's how we teach, which is so critical for people overcoming

EA Csolkovits::

adversity. First of all, I say to your listeners, we love everybody.

EA Csolkovits::

I say it again emphatically, we love everybody. And we teach

EA Csolkovits::

people how to separate the person who we love from their

EA Csolkovits::

deeds, which we may not love. And we even do this by teaching

EA Csolkovits::

a skill set by virtue of using checklists. These are the things you

EA Csolkovits::

look for. So when we say giver bread, we're not we don't label

EA Csolkovits::

people as gifts. So

Dr. Brad Miller::

Part of what you're doing here just to help me understand.

Dr. Brad Miller::

You're kind of discerning toxic relationships and things that

Dr. Brad Miller::

are not necessarily helpful for you to fulfill your manifest destiny.

EA Csolkovits::

Exactly right. And so when we use the term giver, we're

EA Csolkovits::

not labeling a person, we're labeling their deeds givers.

EA Csolkovits::

And when we say taker, we're not labeling a person or labeling

EA Csolkovits::

their deeds. But no one knows how to do this is like, you know,

EA Csolkovits::

a few interviews ago, a guy says, Man, this is great. I've just read

EA Csolkovits::

a book, it says, I got to surround myself with five good people. I

EA Csolkovits::

said, You're right, you do. Let me ask your question. Which five?

EA Csolkovits::

And I'll suddenly stared back. And with this blank, look, I said, you

EA Csolkovits::

see my point? No one's teaching which five? You know, everyone

EA Csolkovits::

says self improve, improve, improve. That's all great. But Brad, what

EA Csolkovits::

about the other guy? What if he's not doing it? Right? What should

EA Csolkovits::

we do about that? And how would they make us collateral damage,

EA Csolkovits::

if we don't know how to discern who we should bring in who we

EA Csolkovits::

shouldn't. So we actually teach and we provide checklists, these

EA Csolkovits::

are and one of them I just love is called the 25 dues. These are

EA Csolkovits::

the 25 actual deeds, actual deeds that you can observe. And we

EA Csolkovits::

teach people a skill set. Observe what they're doing, don't listen

EA Csolkovits::

to what they're saying.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So you're doing just it take example, let's take a couple of those

Dr. Brad Miller::

deeds. Give me an example of a couple of for instance, where you

Dr. Brad Miller::

try to observe a deed, or just make up one, you know, how someone

Dr. Brad Miller::

walks their dog yelling, or screaming the dog or treating the dog

Dr. Brad Miller::

nice or whatever, whatever you try to observe and give it kind of

Dr. Brad Miller::

a upside and a downside to it? Or great or how do you do this,

Dr. Brad Miller::

your 25 deeds?

EA Csolkovits::

Excellent, we actually have a free checklist that we

EA Csolkovits::

give people, we want them to download it.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Okay, great.

EA Csolkovits::

And it's literally is 25 dues that are also, basically we call

EA Csolkovits::

them 25 dues, they're basically the deeds, and I'll give you

EA Csolkovits::

a couple of them as an example. And these are things that

EA Csolkovits::

are observable things. And when you observe these things,

EA Csolkovits::

that they do these 25 different things, then you can begin

EA Csolkovits::

to discern and say, okay, based on what they're doing,

EA Csolkovits::

should I bring them in closer into my life, or based on what

EA Csolkovits::

I see them doing, should I begin respectfully, not rude or

EA Csolkovits::

insensitive or nasty, but respectfully distance myself from

EA Csolkovits::

them. Because if I bring them closer, I'm going to be snapping

EA Csolkovits::

out fires, not of my making. They're going to bring with them

EA Csolkovits::

adversity that I will be pulled into as collateral damage.

EA Csolkovits::

So we teach people discern upfront, look up front, these

EA Csolkovits::

are the things you should be watching, don't listen to what

EA Csolkovits::

they say, watch what they do. A couple of them, just to share

EA Csolkovits::

with couple of your listeners, one of them like do number three

EA Csolkovits::

is give first to receive later. In other words, you'll see a giver will

EA Csolkovits::

always be the first to step forward. They're always the one who

EA Csolkovits::

is willing to say, Okay, I'll put in the effort first and get a benefit

EA Csolkovits::

later on. And they're more what we call back end loaded,

EA Csolkovits::

they're more they're generous ones, the first ones who

EA Csolkovits::

stepped forward, you'll see them volunteer first before

EA Csolkovits::

everyone else. By contrast, the taker deed number three

EA Csolkovits::

would be first, they need to have it all. You need to pay

EA Csolkovits::

them first, before they talk, they tend to be very selfish,

EA Csolkovits::

you'll see selfless actions on ongoing basis. And they will

EA Csolkovits::

take or say I need to get first, then I will give but first you

EA Csolkovits::

gotta give to me. So these things that's just this is one of them.

EA Csolkovits::

And we teach people how to observe these things. Look at these

EA Csolkovits::

deeds. And here's a list of 25 Put it up, put it in your pocket, start

EA Csolkovits::

to discern in your relationships, because the same relationships

EA Csolkovits::

will have a huge impact on the adversities that come into our life.

EA Csolkovits::

Yeah, they will have a huge impact on how we respond to those

EA Csolkovits::

adversities by having the right people around us when you agree that

Dr. Brad Miller::

Oh, yeah. Well, I think the issue we're talking about here is good

Dr. Brad Miller::

discernment, you know, for wisdom, and I like to teach from a biblical

Dr. Brad Miller::

perspective of wisdom, you know, claiming wisdom that will be the

Dr. Brad Miller::

greatest gift that you can have. And the piece of that is discerning

Dr. Brad Miller::

healthy relationships and I call unhealthy relationships or they can

Dr. Brad Miller::

lead us to what I call the malaise of mediocrity where we just get

Dr. Brad Miller::

stuck and or some people could take us to their place of misery

Dr. Brad Miller::

with them if we allow it to. We choose then to break out of that

Dr. Brad Miller::

we choose to be in a better place, and generally, generosity and

Dr. Brad Miller::

have an attitude of gratitude. Whatever you To say, as one that

Dr. Brad Miller::

is a more of affirming place to be, and leads us to better places

Dr. Brad Miller::

at least that's my take on things and, and you talk about this here,

Dr. Brad Miller::

EA, not only in these actions, you know, the giver and the taker,

Dr. Brad Miller::

but you talk about building community, which to me goes to

Dr. Brad Miller::

relationship, a giver, community and a taker community. And

Dr. Brad Miller::

I'd like you to go there a little bit with us for just a moment.

Dr. Brad Miller::

What do you mean by you know, kind of adding that on

Dr. Brad Miller::

there, you know, the giver, community taker community

Dr. Brad Miller::

go with that for a few minutes.

EA Csolkovits::

For sure. Thank you. It's interesting, because the word

EA Csolkovits::

community, Brad has changed definition over the last few

EA Csolkovits::

years for my observations. And then I use the example of the

EA Csolkovits::

word diet, you know, years ago, if you went to a meeting, it was

EA Csolkovits::

called a diet. You went to a diet, and then later on spelled the

EA Csolkovits::

same way, the word then meant a stipend. If you got a stipend

EA Csolkovits::

that was a diet, you got an allowance, then later on the word

EA Csolkovits::

meant in my lifetime eating habits, then later on the word now

EA Csolkovits::

means weight loss, if you say diet means weight loss, spelled

EA Csolkovits::

the same way the whole time.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Right?

EA Csolkovits::

Four totally different meanings. Community has done the same

EA Csolkovits::

thing. And I'll ask your listeners think about this, have you been

EA Csolkovits::

cajoled, asked, invited into a community only to have them within

EA Csolkovits::

hours or a few days, start selling you things? Right. That's not a

EA Csolkovits::

community. That's a customer. That's a customer hitlist. Right.

EA Csolkovits::

And why do the bait and switch I mean, call it a community, a

EA Csolkovits::

taker community is designed to take from you or make money

EA Csolkovits::

off of you, that's a taker community, right,

Dr. Brad Miller::

It's generally often leads to resentment and animosity and bad stuff, so

EA Csolkovits::

Even bait and switched just that simple. It's not a community.

EA Csolkovits::

Call it what it is, it's a customer list, right? And then give me the

EA Csolkovits::

chance, a choice of do I want to be on your customer list because

EA Csolkovits::

I mentioned your products or not, but don't do the bait and switch.

EA Csolkovits::

And so many of those exists today. And so we teach people one,

EA Csolkovits::

how to form their own community, we actually have a step, seven

EA Csolkovits::

in time and that is, there's seven steps. I'm just going to hit the

EA Csolkovits::

steps. And what's beautiful about this Brad, I was looking at

EA Csolkovits::

your four step action plan of action, connect, discipline. The

EA Csolkovits::

T was the think discipline, and then S being served your A C T S

EA Csolkovits::

plan and which I love. I think it's awesome.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Yes.

EA Csolkovits::

That's all part and parcel of how you build a giver community.

EA Csolkovits::

You do all those things. So the first thing we do is we teach

EA Csolkovits::

people. I'm just gonna hit this real quick because our interest

EA Csolkovits::

seven steps real quick. And they spell out the word discern.

EA Csolkovits::

Okay, each one of the seven steps spells out the word discern

EA Csolkovits::

the first one, the first letter is decide. You have to decide who

EA Csolkovits::

do you want to have in your giver community we call them

EA Csolkovits::

juntos. There were juntos, Spanish word, 1600s, picked up by

EA Csolkovits::

Benjamin Franklin, 1727. When he formed the Leather Apron Club

EA Csolkovits::

later on, called the junto. Later on called the actually Leather Apron

EA Csolkovits::

Club was the final name. Interestingly enough with his 12 friends that

EA Csolkovits::

he met with every Friday in what he called his junto. Arguably,

EA Csolkovits::

the very Declaration of Independence, can be traced back to

EA Csolkovits::

those conversations that he had. So certainly a junto, or a

EA Csolkovits::

community can have a huge impact. So the first thing we do is

EA Csolkovits::

we teach people how do you decide, right? The two to 12 people

EA Csolkovits::

I want to have around me, how do I decide which two to 12? So

EA Csolkovits::

what we do is we provide them with a free checklist of the 25 dues

EA Csolkovits::

and say, look through this, these other ones if they're doing these

EA Csolkovits::

25 things, okay, they're exactly where you want them to be. If they're not,

Dr. Brad Miller::

So we got to decide, and we're going to discern so we got to

EA Csolkovits::

Invite. Invite is the next one. You got to invite all 12 of them.

EA Csolkovits::

We teach people how to do that. The third is seed you want to it,

EA Csolkovits::

basically and this is critical. Get an agreement upfront expectations

EA Csolkovits::

early of what's involved and what is expected of everyone.

EA Csolkovits::

You know, I've seen Napoleon Hill does an excellent masterful

EA Csolkovits::

job talking about what's called the mastermind principle,

EA Csolkovits::

absolutely go rich. And I've seen so many of those. They

EA Csolkovits::

come together and they fall apart a couple months later.

EA Csolkovits::

And the reason why is there's not an expectation and

EA Csolkovits::

agreement upfront of this is what's expected of all of us

EA Csolkovits::

upfront and to have everyone agree on it and make a

EA Csolkovits::

commitment on it, which becomes part of the glue. We

EA Csolkovits::

teach people how to do it step by step. So that's the s for

EA Csolkovits::

seed. C is convened. Got to convene on a regular basis

EA Csolkovits::

whether it be weekly, monthly, quarterly, E is establish it,

EA Csolkovits::

give it a name. Henry Ford called his junto, The Four

EA Csolkovits::

Vagabonds and certainly, Ben Franklin, I use the example

EA Csolkovits::

of a Leather Apron Club. Give it a name so that helps with

EA Csolkovits::

the continuity of the group. R - rotate, we actually provide

EA Csolkovits::

an agenda. Somebody wants the form of givers junto. We

EA Csolkovits::

teach them how to do it. And then R is for rotate, have a

EA Csolkovits::

different chairperson every week. So these person knows

EA Csolkovits::

what to do. And they're guided through that. And then

EA Csolkovits::

N is for numbers, seed other juntos. Get other people

EA Csolkovits::

involved with having communities of having the right people

EA Csolkovits::

around them. So we actually have a set. And then we build

EA Csolkovits::

it every week on our YouTube channel. It's Givers University

EA Csolkovits::

on YouTube, one word gives University. And they go to where

EA Csolkovits::

it says how to build your own givers community. And there's

EA Csolkovits::

two minute clips, step by step by step in two minute increments

EA Csolkovits::

of everything I just went through in a more elongated version.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Wow, that sounds like a powerful resource. And we want to

Dr. Brad Miller::

get to your resources in just a minute. But we're talking about

Dr. Brad Miller::

relationships here. We're talking about the power of

Dr. Brad Miller::

transformative relationships, especially helped people to

Dr. Brad Miller::

get unstuck and overcome adversity. So tell us a story. A

Dr. Brad Miller::

testimonial, if you will about a person, or perhaps a group,

Dr. Brad Miller::

that the Givers University has been helpful to.

EA Csolkovits::

Well, we've been a number of them as a matter of fact,

EA Csolkovits::

but off the top of my head, I can certainly share with you

EA Csolkovits::

some people who have, you know, we have online courses,

EA Csolkovits::

and we did all of this. And even what is taught in the givers

EA Csolkovits::

junto is, you know, we teach the givers mindset, the givers

EA Csolkovits::

lifestyle, and the givers lifelong learning. Those are three courses.

EA Csolkovits::

And with that, there's, there's a book that's actually with all of them.

EA Csolkovits::

It's about 1200 pages total between all three courses. And what we do

EA Csolkovits::

is we teach people and businesses and we have now right now, many,

EA Csolkovits::

many companies, not just one or two. Where one gentleman who's an

EA Csolkovits::

HR executive, who now has a whole different feeling about the HR

EA Csolkovits::

industry, if you will, and then some of the fear mongering and what's

EA Csolkovits::

going on with them. And the eye opening that he's been able to

EA Csolkovits::

experience because of what we teach Givers University, and beginning

EA Csolkovits::

to realize, you know, what, these people are pushing fear. They're selling

EA Csolkovits::

fear, like there's no tomorrow. And and so, he's an HR business. So what

EA Csolkovits::

do you do with HR, obviously, you're talking with relationships all day long.

EA Csolkovits::

And so what he does is he keeps sort of a separate personal file that he

EA Csolkovits::

doesn't share with anyone else of his 25 dues. When he hires people,

EA Csolkovits::

when he fires, people things, he looks for things he observes that he

EA Csolkovits::

didn't know he could observe before, to help have the right people

EA Csolkovits::

in his company. And when it comes to those that he works for.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So your training has enhanced his job performance.

EA Csolkovits::

For sure

Dr. Brad Miller::

Therefore enhance the productivity and supposedly the

Dr. Brad Miller::

profitability of his company. And I bet he feels better

Dr. Brad Miller::

about it, too. I would get off

EA Csolkovits::

For sure.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Yeah.

EA Csolkovits::

For sure. For sure. And just loves it and says

EA Csolkovits::

he, you know, he's a college graduate with many

EA Csolkovits::

initials. And he says, no course he's ever taken in

EA Csolkovits::

college has helped him and impacted him to the

EA Csolkovits::

extent of how to discern in relationships.

EA Csolkovits::

Where's the discernment 101 Course?

Dr. Brad Miller::

Yeah. Well, I think part of what we're talking

Dr. Brad Miller::

about here, EA is really about having fulfillment in

Dr. Brad Miller::

life personally, and in our relationships. Because

Dr. Brad Miller::

ultimately, if you're a taker, you're in the area of

Dr. Brad Miller::

consuming and causing destructive patterns to happen.

Dr. Brad Miller::

And a giver is and is in the business of being productive

Dr. Brad Miller::

and helpful, and helping others to succeed as well. And

Dr. Brad Miller::

when we that happens, we succeed as well. And you've

Dr. Brad Miller::

got some good stuff here. And I love the whole concept

Dr. Brad Miller::

here of gratitude, you know, of giving, and how we can

Dr. Brad Miller::

do that there's a lot of biblical parallels, which I'm

Dr. Brad Miller::

interested in and some things we're talking about here

Dr. Brad Miller::

and in appreciate your good work. So I got a feeling of

Dr. Brad Miller::

some folks out there who are listeners to Beyond Adversity,

Dr. Brad Miller::

we're gonna want to learn more about you and about to

Dr. Brad Miller::

Givers University and some of the courses and YouTube

Dr. Brad Miller::

videos and you got lots and lots of resources. So tell us, tell

Dr. Brad Miller::

folks how they can get connected to you and Givers University.

EA Csolkovits::

Thank you. But first, let's go to our website. It's plural

EA Csolkovits::

giversuniversity.com and sign up for our newsletters.

EA Csolkovits::

Newsletters, absolutely free. We don't spam people.

EA Csolkovits::

So they're going to get an immediate communication

EA Csolkovits::

that says, Do you want to talk with his people? They

EA Csolkovits::

have to answer that and say yes. And then once a

EA Csolkovits::

week, on Thursdays, we send out a newsletter that

EA Csolkovits::

we we call it the givers toolbox. And every single

EA Csolkovits::

week, Brad, we give them a brand new relationship

EA Csolkovits::

tool that helps them in their discernment that they

EA Csolkovits::

can add into the relationship toolbox. And it's a

EA Csolkovits::

short read, there's usually a little two minute clip

EA Csolkovits::

that's in there as well. And then through the course

EA Csolkovits::

of that they're going to receive by the way, one of the

EA Csolkovits::

things they get right away is the 25 dues. That checklist

EA Csolkovits::

I mentioned. We want them to print it off. We want them

EA Csolkovits::

to use it in their discern and start using in everyday life.

EA Csolkovits::

Because everyone you know, we're being pushed out so

EA Csolkovits::

much that we should Accept even all the people doing

EA Csolkovits::

everything that's wrong. And I don't agree with that. I

EA Csolkovits::

think we should love everyone. And we and Jesus was

EA Csolkovits::

the best example of all time. Right? But he didn't like

EA Csolkovits::

their deeds, and he called them out on their deeds.

EA Csolkovits::

And we've taken that same tack. We agree with that

EA Csolkovits::

and parallel our teachings with that, that, you know,

EA Csolkovits::

you want to surround yourself with people doing the

EA Csolkovits::

right things, but no one's teaching anyone how do you

EA Csolkovits::

discern that everything's a gray area? And it's not great?

EA Csolkovits::

It's not? Yeah, it is clear. So when they go to our website,

EA Csolkovits::

sign up for the newsletter every week, once a week

EA Csolkovits::

they get a nice little newsletter from us, they'll learn

EA Csolkovits::

about our courses knowledge through all that relationship.

EA Csolkovits::

They want to learn more about forming their own givers

EA Csolkovits::

junto they can go to the the hamburger in the upper right

EA Csolkovits::

hand corner, click on that, and they'll see a tab that says

EA Csolkovits::

givers junto. They can request information to form their

EA Csolkovits::

own givers junto will help them do it absolutely free. Or

EA Csolkovits::

they can be a member of another junto, We'll connect them to one.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Lots of resources there.

EA Csolkovits::

For sure. For sure.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So hey, if you if you folks are interested at all and

Dr. Brad Miller::

Dave redesigning your life, you're much more about

Dr. Brad Miller::

being a giver than a taker. Lots of resources here are

Dr. Brad Miller::

and with giversuniversity.com. His name is EA Csolkovits.

Dr. Brad Miller::

He has been our guest today the Creator Givers University.

Dr. Brad Miller::

Lots of great information here and you could find that all

Dr. Brad Miller::

the details at our website as well. drbradmiller.com.

Dr. Brad Miller::

So we thank EA Csolkovits for being our guest today

Dr. Brad Miller::

on the Beyond Adversity podcast.

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