Many people believe divorce will inevitably be messy and hostile before even starting the process. However, that doesn’t have to be the case.
According to Carl Roberts — the Founder and CEO of SplitSmart, a website that helps couples organize finances for divorce — transparency and organization are essential for preventing an emotionally distraught and lengthy divorce process.
On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, Carl talks about his web tool and how it has helped couples approach divorce in a more healthy and transparent way.
The tool helps couples to DIY their financial decisions through easy-to-use online documentation before involving mediators or attorneys. This can help each party see the big picture and realize that they probably agree on more than they think.
“What I found was that the key to having a healthy, low-cost divorce is organization — on the money side or on the kid side,” Carl says, having gone through a difficult divorce himself. “It’s all about organization. Once you get organized, then you can build a plan, and you can be more informed with your decisions. You gotta do it one way or another — whether or not you do it for yourself or you pay a lawyer, you gotta do it.”
Name: Carl Roberts
What he does: Carl is the founder and CEO of SplitSmart, a website that helps couples manage the financial and emotional aspects of divorce.
Words of wisdom: “Transparency is key to building trust in the [divorce] process. And trust is critical to being able to reach a healthy, amicable resolution.”
Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode
★ Organization is the key. Whether it’s for the kids or the financial decisions, being organized helps you move through the divorce process with a clear head and better decision-making.
★ DIY your divorce. One of the first things that might come to mind when considering divorce is the exorbitant cost of the process. Taking care of the initial financial organization by yourself is one way to cut costs before involving the lawyers.
★ Transparency separates data from emotion. Getting all financial details down on paper creates transparency, which helps prevent emotional fallout in the long run.
★ Think of life after divorce in positive terms. Don’t think of separation as a process with only negative outcomes. Instead consider the possibility that life after divorce may improve — this mindset will help you make it happen.
[07:34] Save on stress: SplitSmart allows you to organize your incomes, assets and liabilities by uploading documents to electronic folders to share with your ex-partner.
[08:14] Advance prep: Preparing the marital worksheet ahead of time helps you organize assets and liabilities by line item so that you can more efficiently and transparently negotiate.
[09:08] Transparency leads to trust: The divorce process carries the weight of emotions and stress, but when the process is made transparent, it can help build trust between the parties involved.
[09:39] Seek advice when necessary: Although a tool like SplitSmart can help, it’s important to remember that you can and should ask for guidance and support when you don’t understand something.
[12:33] Let the professionals deal with the big stuff: A DIY divorce approach doesn’t have to deal with the big stuff like retirement funds and cars.
[15:05] Give yourself peace of mind: Transparent organization will foster a better state of mind, especially at the beginning of the divorce process. Getting through the divorce process successfully requires being informed and understanding that you and your ex-partner probably agree on more than you think.
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