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7 Lies That Ruin Our Ability To Rest
Episode 34920th September 2021 • Everyday Disciple Podcast • Caesar Kalinowski
00:00:00 00:42:56

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Rest is fueled or depleted by the impact of what we believe. Are you letting God's perspective about you, guide you into a life that is abundant and fulfilling? In this episode, Caesar is joined by author, Twyla Franz, as they talk about the lies we too often believe, that are ruining our ability to truly rest. In This Episode You’ll Learn:
  • The importance of letting rest flow from your Gospel Identity.
  • God's love for you does not depend on what you do.
  • Why resting is not being lazy!
  • How rest actually fuels, not slows, mission.
Get started here… 7 Lies That Ruin Our Ability To Rest From this episode: When we don’t rest, we get missional living backward. We focus on the doing, forgetting that doing flows from being. What we do doesn’t procure our identity as missional people. We first know who we are because we choose to stay in close proximity to the only One who can tell us who we truly are. And then with Him right next to us, we learn to copy the way He thinks and loves and lives."
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Download today’s BIG 3 right now. Read and think over them again later. You might even want to share them with others…

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Join us on Facebook and take part in the discussion! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of this page or right below. Also, please subscribe and leave an honest review for The Everyday Disciple Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them. Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Free Download of the Big 3 For Episode #349 Twyla Franz - The Uncommon Normal Blog Coaching with Caesar and Tina in discipleship and missional living. Discipleship and Missional Resources   Join us on Facebook

Transcripts

Twyla:

So the lies that I have to be in control and it can feel risky in unstable to release that control and say, well, there's things that I don't have to have the final say on.

Twyla:

It can feel really reckless even, but it leads us to just this constant striving to, to get control or to maintain control.

Twyla:

And we feel like we can never, you know, really let that go and just walk with open hands.

Twyla:

And let God have his way.

Twyla:

So just realizing that we can flip the script and we don't have to be the ones in control because God is more than capable of being in control.

Twyla:

Can let us just operate out of this flow of him inside of us instead of us just trying to work and earn it, go a million different directions when we choose to rest in him, then that is also what's rippling out beyond us.

Twyla:

And that's one way I like.

Twyla:

describe . Missional living is just as this ripple effect that God is doing things inside of us.

Twyla:

And when we draw in really close proximity to him, and then we give people access to our lives, it's proximity to God, proximity to people that it lets those things just kind of repeats.

Twyla:

Beyond us,

Announcer:

welcome to the Everyday Disciple podcast, where you learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.

Announcer:

In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle, this is the stuff your parents, pastors in seminary.

Announcer:

Probably forgot to tell you.

Announcer:

And now here's your host Caesar Kalinowski

Caesar:

Hey, Hey, how's it going?

Caesar:

I hope you're having a good day so far.

Caesar:

I'm doing great.

Caesar:

I just got back from North Dakota, not too cold up there yet, but what a great time we had, I was teaching the story of God.

Caesar:

We do this whole experience where we go through the story of God from Genesis through revelation, about six hours.

Caesar:

It's all narration.

Caesar:

It's narrative.

Caesar:

Story and dialogue.

Caesar:

You've never experienced it.

Caesar:

Wow.

Caesar:

What a powerful, powerful experience.

Caesar:

It really is.

Caesar:

It reshapes all of our thinking about who God is, who he's created us to be in.

Caesar:

Why we're even here as people, as the church.

Caesar:

It's a powerful thing.

Caesar:

What a privilege to get to do that with all of our good friends up there.

Caesar:

A couple of great church plants.

Caesar:

I hope someday I'll get to do that with you too.

Caesar:

If you ever have any interests, let me know, by the way.

Caesar:

I'd love to get together and see you on our Facebook group.

Caesar:

Everyday Disciple Podcast has a Facebook group.

Caesar:

You can search us up and find it real easily.

Caesar:

Can also just go to Everyday Disciple dot com forward slash Facebook.

Caesar:

And it'll take you right there.

Caesar:

I also want to make sure that you have subscribed to the podcast and whatever platform you're listening to.

Caesar:

I don't want you to miss a single episode.

Caesar:

We drop new episodes every week.

Caesar:

Hope they're encouraging.

Caesar:

I know you love them.

Caesar:

Also, if you're interested in learning a full framework for discipleship and mission want to grow in your gospel fluency, that's what our coaching does.

Caesar:

That's what we help people with.

Caesar:

So what we give our life to my wife and I, Tina, we coached together as couples and we coach couples.

Caesar:

I would love to tell you more about it.

Caesar:

If you want to hop on a short zoom call with me, get to know more about it.

Caesar:

I can answer any questions you have and hopefully get you started in a cohort with us real soon.

Caesar:

To find out more and to set up a call, just go to Everyday Disciple dot com forward slash coaching and we'll take care of ya.

Caesar:

Now today I have a very cool guest with me on the show.

Caesar:

Her name is Twyla Franz.

Caesar:

You may remember her.

Caesar:

She is now going to be my first ever three time guest here on the podcast.

Caesar:

Whew.

Caesar:

I wonder, does that make her our favorite guest ever?

Caesar:

Hm, I think it might.

Caesar:

You might remember.

Caesar:

She was on about a year ago.

Caesar:

It was episode two 80 and we talked about 10 secrets to growing deeper friendships.

Caesar:

Which is so key to disciple-making and then way back in episode 2 47, we talked with Twyla about neighborhood Missional, living for the imperfectly.

Caesar:

Ready, both great episodes that have been listened to a whole lot.

Caesar:

If you've not checked those out, I think you're going to love her today.

Caesar:

What we're going to talk about what she's going to share.

Caesar:

We want to go back and check those out as well.

Caesar:

Twyla writes a blog and has an awesome practical podcast, both called the uncommon normal.

Caesar:

And I'll put a link in the show notes for today's episode.

Caesar:

Here's what she says about what she's doing.

Caesar:

I just love this.

Caesar:

It says neighborhood Missional living is posturing my heart, like an open door, welcoming my neighbors into my heart, my home and my life so that I can integrate discipleship into the small everyday moments of doing life together with my neighbors.

Caesar:

Wow.

Caesar:

Isn't that beautiful.

Caesar:

That's powerful too.

Caesar:

And that's what she writes about and talks about and helps people take small little steps.

Caesar:

I found her very helpful in Missional living and really articulate about how to start taking small steps.

Caesar:

And I really love the fact that she and her family are practitioners.

Caesar:

They're living out discipleship as a lifestyle.

Caesar:

Now, today, I want you to hear a conversation that she and I had discussing the lies that we tend to believe that ruin our ability to rest.

Caesar:

She wrote a blog post about this that I really loved.

Caesar:

And I asked her if she'd come on and talk to me about this rest is so important and everyone I know has no time for it.

Caesar:

It seems, or we're always tired.

Caesar:

Twyla has uncovered seven lies that keep us from really, truly resting.

Caesar:

Take a listen.

Caesar:

Now I think you're going to love this.

Caesar:

Then I'll come back, give you a few more thoughts and give you my big three for the day.

Caesar:

Hey, thanks Twyla for being back with me again.

Caesar:

I just mentioned in the intro that you are the.

Caesar:

Ever three time guests, which I'm guessing makes you the most popular, my favorite, or you wouldn't be here.

Caesar:

It's really good to be with you.

Caesar:

I can see you.

Caesar:

Not everybody else can because we're recording and using zoom so we can do this face to face.

Caesar:

How have you been, what's going on with your family?

Caesar:

Is everyone?

Caesar:

Well, it's been about a year since I've talked to you, which means we've come through a pandemic or we're still in one or something.

Caesar:

I don't know.

Caesar:

How's everybody??

Twyla:

We're doing well.

Twyla:

Thanks for asking.

Twyla:

And it's a huge honor to be back on that.

Twyla:

Thank you so much for having me.

Twyla:

We're doing good.

Twyla:

We're trying to get back in the swing of a little bit more normal life.

Twyla:

We have dance that continued on.

Twyla:

I have one daughter that does competitive dance.

Twyla:

She's pretty serious about it.

Twyla:

So that's fun to see them out there getting to do their competitions.

Twyla:

And we're trying to soccer and tee ball with the other two.

Twyla:

So my oldest gets to do soccer with one of her neighbor, friends.

Twyla:

And so she can ride along sometimes to practices.

Twyla:

And my little guy is doing preschool with another one of our neighbor friends.

Twyla:

So, so that's just really fun that we can kind of do life together, even as we're branching out into things outside of the neighborhood.

Caesar:

That's great.

Caesar:

I miss the years of our kids being in the home with all those built in interactions.

Caesar:

And we were careful not to have them sign up for everything all at once.

Caesar:

So that now we're just, we can't be with people.

Caesar:

However, because they each had their one thing a season, we had this sort of built in interaction with people and found lots of people, a peace that way.

Caesar:

And kids are always wanting to have people over for family dinner night and all that.

Caesar:

So it was, I miss those days, however, even though they're married and live outside of our home, now they still do the same thing.

Caesar:

They were pretty consistently bringing people over the house to be with, to be with Tina and I and others in the oikos and all that.

Caesar:

So pretty fun.

Caesar:

That's awesome.

Caesar:

Well, I am excited to talk to you today.

Caesar:

I want you to help me take a look at seven erroneous beliefs about rest that may seem subtle or appear harmless initially, but they lead us to working for the wrong.

Caesar:

And it wears us out in the process.

Caesar:

And in a nutshell, these believe in these lies, these false beliefs destroy our best efforts to rest.

Twyla:

They do they do.

Twyla:

And when it comes to rest were fueled or depleted by the repercussions of our beliefs.

Twyla:

And when we error in our beliefs, we downplay the importance of rest itself.

Twyla:

So we do things that drain us.

Twyla:

And in that same vein, if we're aligning our beliefs with truth, that we can bank on 100% of the time, they'll guide us into life.

Twyla:

That's richer, more fulfilling and more energized.

Caesar:

Oh, that is so true.

Caesar:

That is like the foundation of why we're going to look at these today.

Caesar:

We've got a long way to go and this stuff is gold.

Caesar:

Thank you for sharing it, putting it out there and then coming on and sharing it with us today.

Caesar:

Let's look at these seven lies that destroy and ruin our ability to rest your number one.

Caesar:

First lie is my work equals my worth.

Caesar:

Wow.

Caesar:

Yeah, I think subtly or not so subtly, we all feel that and sort of believe that lie.

Twyla:

Yeah.

Twyla:

I do think that it's very pervasive, especially in American culture that we're defined kind of by our jobs and how successful we are there.

Twyla:

And so we feel like whatever title it is that we earn.

Twyla:

Maybe it's one of the first things that we'll mention.

Twyla:

If somebody asks us who we are, something about us.

Twyla:

So was always, I think at the forefront of our mind saying, okay, well I need to earn my worth.

Twyla:

I need to work my way up the ladder.

Twyla:

And that's really who I am, but that's not the way that God talks about us and really how productive we are in the eyes of, um, the workplace or just the world in general is really separate from what our value is as a human.

Twyla:

And we're made in the image of an almighty God.

Twyla:

And that's who we are.

Twyla:

Just only a product of the choices that we make or how well we do at work.

Twyla:

So, and that's

Caesar:

the foundation right there.

Caesar:

Yes, we are created in the image of a good right

Caesar:

and perfect God.

Caesar:

Do we believe

Caesar:

that that's where our value comes.

Caesar:

We talk about that.

Caesar:

So often, obviously here on the podcast about the do, to be distortion, what you do, your work and efforts in life equal your value and that's, that is the beast.

Caesar:

I think that's the beast in scripture.

Caesar:

We talk about it so often.

Caesar:

I love that.

Caesar:

It's lie.

Caesar:

Number one, I hope that just pointing it out again.

Caesar:

It will help to kill that lie in our heart.

Caesar:

Wow.

Caesar:

Foundational.

Caesar:

Okay.

Caesar:

lie number two is I can earn God's love.

Caesar:

And even though we say in our head like, well, I know I can't, we, we think we can earn a little more maybe, right?

Twyla:

Yeah.

Twyla:

This is another sneaky one that, that I think sometimes we have to step back a little bit and dig in and say, what do a really.

Twyla:

I truly believe not what just do I, not just with the words that I say, but how deep does this believe sink into the way that I live?

Twyla:

Because when we feel like we can earn God's love, we're always trying to do more.

Twyla:

We're trying to volunteer more.

Twyla:

We're trying to check mark, you know, that, that list of all these things, that this is what I should do.

Twyla:

If I'm a good Christian or even what I should do, if I'm a

Twyla:

Missional neighbor.

Twyla:

And so we

Twyla:

just get into this grind of it's very similar to productivity, but, but it's a little different because this is more like the Christian things to do.

Twyla:

And so we think if we do more of them, somehow God will think more favorably of us.

Twyla:

But the truth is that he loves us because that's who he is not because of anything that we've done.

Twyla:

We don't do anything to earn that.

Twyla:

The

Caesar:

thing behind the

Caesar:

thing that too sister is

Caesar:

we feel we have to earn his love when we don't understand and believe that God is gracious.

Caesar:

If we don't really believe that we

Caesar:

have is unmerited to favor,

Caesar:

like you said, it's not that we've earned it.

Caesar:

We can't, in fact, it's been earned by Jesus on our behalf, but when we don't believe in grace that we have that unmerited favor, then we are trying to prove everything and earn.

Caesar:

Everything.

Caesar:

And we think we have to, I have to think that must be really heartbreaking and perhaps even offensive to God he's provided, he's provided this great love and salvation at a great cost.

Caesar:

And then we're trying to earn it something that he says, but it's yours.

Caesar:

It takes me back to the prodigal son story.

Caesar:

The prodigal God's story is Tim Keller would call it where that older brother is.

Caesar:

I've been working hard.

Caesar:

Where's my party.

Caesar:

I've earned one.

Caesar:

And he's like, you could, you could have a party any day.

Caesar:

You want everything I have is yours wow.

Caesar:

Whoa.

Caesar:

All right.

Caesar:

What's the line number

Twyla:

three.

Twyla:

Line number three is more equals better.

Twyla:

And I think that this is another one, very, very ground into our way of thinking.

Twyla:

We get it everywhere that we have to have more.

Twyla:

We have to do more.

Twyla:

We have to show that we're more valuable.

Twyla:

And so it drives us to multitask, try to do all of the things all the time.

Twyla:

And there's actually a book that I read recently, Greg McCowan may be saying his name wrong, but he's author of New York, best seller essentialism.

Twyla:

And it is such a good book.

Twyla:

So he was, he was talking about how, when we say yes to everything, it results in making a millimeter progress in a million different directions.

Twyla:

And we really.

Caesar:

It's so good.

Twyla:

Say it again.

Twyla:

So it is so good.

Twyla:

Um, so when we say yes to everything, it results in the unfulfilling experience of making a millimeter of progress in a million directions.

Twyla:

And he has this diagram in the book where there's arrows shooting out in every which direction.

Twyla:

And we make very little progress when we're trying to do everything at the same time.

Twyla:

And I think that that can really destroy our rest just because we feel like there's never enough that we're doing, we're always reaching for more.

Twyla:

We're always trying to say yes to more things.

Twyla:

And that really destroys our ability just to.

Twyla:

Be really good at the things that God has called us to.

Twyla:

And I know that you bring up the question like, what's next, what's next God?

Twyla:

Or what, what do you want me to lean into next?

Twyla:

What do you want me to say yes to next?

Twyla:

And instead of focusing on all the good things that could be out there, if we shift and we start thinking, okay, well what's right in front of me, who is right in front of me, that God has prompted me to say yes to right now, then, then we can actually.

Twyla:

Be much more present in our relationships.

Twyla:

We can have much more purpose in, in what we're doing on a day-to-day basis and a

Caesar:

lot more peace because we can have that confidence that this is what God has for me.

Caesar:

And there's a lot of other good stuff, but that's not what God had for me.

Caesar:

He must have that for someone else.

Caesar:

Or if it's for us, it's maybe not right now, we talk a lot about sometimes that good is the enemy of the best.

Caesar:

That's good, but sometimes best in our cause it's our judgment are flawed perfection and management of right and wrong.

Caesar:

Sometimes what seems best could be the enemy of the anointed in the words of what you're saying, that there's things, oh, that looks good.

Caesar:

Oh, that looks better.

Caesar:

That's the best stuff.

Caesar:

And then God's like, but this is what I have for you and we do.

Caesar:

We trust him in this more equals better.

Caesar:

And that quote is mind blowing.

Caesar:

It is that mile wide inch deep stuff.

Caesar:

And I think it subtly sneaks in, or maybe it's not even that subtle.

Caesar:

I don't know with parents just before we hit record today together, we were talking about sports and dance with your kids and ours did all that same stuff.

Caesar:

All three of my kids, including our son danced for years, went to dance and tumbling and all that stuff.

Caesar:

Yeah.

Caesar:

He's a great dancer to this day, but it's.

Caesar:

To think like we have to say yes to all that because either cultures wa watching and that's what all the other parents are doing.

Caesar:

They're all living on this treadmill or because we want to be super parent or we want to earn.

Caesar:

Our kids love by saying yes to everything.

Caesar:

Even though holy cow look at their schedules and there are only like eight or 12 or something, or 10 or four.

Caesar:

I was talking to a friend the other day and they're like, yeah, our oldest is in counseling for anxiety and she's eight or seven.

Caesar:

Whoa.

Caesar:

And it's not the first time I've heard that.

Caesar:

Like not even close.

Caesar:

So yeah.

Caesar:

More is that's a lie that more equals better.

Caesar:

Okay.

Caesar:

Number four, you were talking about lie number four is I must top my last performance.

Caesar:

Like, what have you done for me lately?

Caesar:

Kind of worldly mentality.

Twyla:

Whoa.

Twyla:

Yes.

Twyla:

And this is actually one that's super personal.

Twyla:

To me.

Twyla:

There was a church wide series that we had gone through several years back to the church with the church that we were going to at the time.

Twyla:

And, um, it was kind of this interactive series and they would have his dig in and digging, like, what is that?

Twyla:

That central lie that's kind of.

Twyla:

Turning you off of pursuing what God has for you.

Twyla:

And as I was digging through, I'm like, I think that I keep coming back to this mentality and perhaps anybody that has perfectionist tendencies can relate to that a little bit, but it's not just that, that the idea that I have to do my best, but it's, if I give a hundred percent here, Then the next time I should be able to go even just a little bit further.

Twyla:

And it really is also a peace robber.

Twyla:

It keeps us from just saying, okay, it's okay to show up and just be present, connect with the people that are right in front of us, instead of always striving for that, the next thing, and just being satisfied with the work that we've done

Caesar:

how do you have any joy in what you're doing currently, if what's really weighing on your head isn't

Caesar:

the beauty of the work working from rest or the gift that you're trying to give, but you're, you've got this subtle layer of like, but I gotta, I gotta top this last thing I did.

Caesar:

I'll tell you what, as an author.

Caesar:

And I know a lot of performers do the same thing, and I read about this and people would, I used to be in the music industry.

Caesar:

You always have to top your last sales or your last chart success or your whatever.

Caesar:

And we build those into our normal lives too.

Caesar:

We really, really do.

Caesar:

It's like, well, I did last time.

Caesar:

This many people came up to me after this, when I taught, you know, Or, you know, whatever, or I was helping out with the bake sale at school and all my stuff sold out, like in an hour and a half.

Caesar:

Like maybe this next time I could do twice as many and sell it out in an hour.

Caesar:

And it's like, wait a minute.

Caesar:

Why are we even doing this again?

Caesar:

And that lie that I have to top my last performance.

Caesar:

It just robs all the joy of, of why now?

Caesar:

Like it's.

Caesar:

Oh, and I actually, I see I'm seeing how these all one kind of feeds into the other, some of these they're it's they're not separate necessary.

Twyla:

They do.

Twyla:

And this last top, in our last performance, I think even taking it just to everyday life is it can be something as simple as, okay, well, last night I got all the dishes in the dishwasher and the floor swept and the kids in bed by such and such time.

Twyla:

So tomorrow is to be able to do all that and clean one of the bathrooms, you know, so we can do, or we can apply this, I think in really any kind of area in our life.

Caesar:

This really does speak to this idea of Sabbath.

Caesar:

Can we learn to trust God and work from rest in our discipleship rhythms, we teach one one's called recreate.

Caesar:

And it's this idea that we rest in Christ in his completed work, and God's love for us and out of that rest, then we can create beauty and work and worth and value to share with others and things like that.

Caesar:

And there is such peace in that.

Caesar:

If we feel like I can truly rest in.

Caesar:

Whatever the day brings whatever God has, whatever he says yes.

Caesar:

To kind of connecting the dots to the last one.

Caesar:

I can rest in that.

Caesar:

And then when I work, I'm not doing it to earn or prove or top my last dealio or show I'll show them or whatever.

Caesar:

Yeah.

Caesar:

I've been caught up in all those feelings and it's because I'm not truly resting in the completed work.

Caesar:

And I, my identity, our authority that we have now, the privileges that come with being a dearly loved daughter, a dearly loved son of God, the God who says, it's your co heirs.

Caesar:

Now this is all yours.

Caesar:

Everything I got to top.

Caesar:

My last thing though, why?, None of us would say this out loud.

Caesar:

Like that's what we really believe is true.

Caesar:

And yet that, that lie sneaks in.

Caesar:

Doesn't it?

Caesar:

That we gotta, we gotta be a little bit better than the next time we got to top that.

Caesar:

Or I need a few more attaboys or attagirls or whatever.

Caesar:

Okay.

Caesar:

What's lie number six here.

Twyla:

Okay, so this is another one.

Twyla:

Again, all of these I think are just kind of very sneaky and woven into just everything that we get in pop culture.

Twyla:

So this one is rest equals laziness.

Twyla:

And I think that often we can just kind of think, well, if we're not busy, then we're lazy and it can kind of create this false impression of just this movement.

Twyla:

It makes it feel more important perhaps than we're actually accomplishing anything.

Twyla:

So it can destroy our ability to do our best work.

Twyla:

'cause we're just kind of running around again and all of those different directions, because we feel like there's shame or, or something negative attached to resting.

Twyla:

Like we don't, we don't deserve it, but we're also, we sometimes feel communicating the wrong message or giving the wrong impression to people around us.

Twyla:

If we take the time to

Caesar:

rest.

Caesar:

That one, when I was going through your post, that one was like, ha highlighted God was shining a light on that.

Caesar:

Or I was looking to the Twyla bold that a little bit different.

Caesar:

Is that a larger font?

Caesar:

What's going on?

Caesar:

The page that rest equals laziness.

Caesar:

I have, I would just be honest here.

Caesar:

I'm gonna let my redemption show a little bit.

Caesar:

I've been working really hard for years to try to work from rest.

Caesar:

I'm not very good at it because of all these lies.

Caesar:

And that's why I wanted to talk to you today and then get a little, get a little joy here.

Caesar:

But when I take time off, even when I've worked to make sure, like, okay, good.

Caesar:

I'm clear.

Caesar:

I've got my commitments.

Caesar:

My yeses have been yeses.

Caesar:

I'm good.

Caesar:

I don't enjoy it.

Caesar:

Like I want to enjoy it because of this one.

Caesar:

I feel.

Caesar:

Yeah.

Caesar:

You're just being lazy.

Caesar:

do you know how much more.

Caesar:

You could get that.

Caesar:

Yeah.

Caesar:

If you didn't take today off and you worked on that, then Monday you'd have less to do.

Caesar:

It's like, well, but I want to rest today.

Caesar:

So I, this one really?

Caesar:

I don't know.

Caesar:

How does, how does this surface in your life, this one?

Twyla:

It definitely does too.

Twyla:

I think there's always a running thing going on in my head, like, oh, I can get a little bit more done.

Twyla:

And even if I'm caught up quote unquote, then I'm thinking, well, if I did a little bit more than I'd have less to do tomorrow, or, you know, I can work ahead and just make.

Twyla:

The future earlier, but it's a never ending cycle.

Twyla:

And if we never stopped to rest, then we really end up feeling burnt out and depleted, and then we're not operating from this place.

Twyla:

That's life giving and where we really feel.

Twyla:

For me personally, really connected to God.

Twyla:

I feel like I just get back into it's all on me.

Twyla:

The focus is on me instead of what he wants to do through me.

Twyla:

And I feel like I'm holding all the balls up in the air and I can't drop any of them.

Twyla:

And I need to keep going.

Twyla:

We were talking about this before we started recording.

Twyla:

I had a podcast for a while, and that was actually something that God was working on.

Twyla:

In me with was just that sometimes you ask us to be obedient to something and it say no to something rather than a yes.

Twyla:

And it's laying something down.

Twyla:

So I've been through a season of wrestling through some of those things with him and saying, okay, here's all these things that I'm doing.

Twyla:

And it's really.

Twyla:

Too much, like it's not really a sustainable pace for me to keep all these things up and still be present with my family and in our neighborhood and do all the things that I want to do.

Twyla:

So I need to let go of something.

Twyla:

So, so there were some big things that I, that I've let go of recently and it really does feel

Caesar:

lazy?.

Caesar:

Do you feel lazy?

Twyla:

I don't actually feel so much better than it came.

Twyla:

It came down to, if I let go of.

Twyla:

What, if I let go of these things, like, what do I feel inside?

Twyla:

Do I feel peace?

Twyla:

Or do I feel like I'm not doing something that I, that is mine to do?

Twyla:

And it was just this overwhelming peace.

Twyla:

Like, no, this is, this is not yours to carry in this season.

Twyla:

So I think God is definitely working through this lie

Caesar:

with me as well.

Caesar:

It was that word laziness that just really cut my heart because that's exactly what I feel when I'm resting or trying to rest.

Caesar:

Even quote unquote, I've earned a rest or whatever, I feel it's lazy or I'll be perceived as lazy.

Caesar:

And I think that comes back to my father when I was growing up didn't know Christ.

Caesar:

He didn't walk with Jesus later in his life.

Caesar:

He did praise God and we, it was great just to watch the transformation, but his only value was going to work and bring it.

Caesar:

A paycheck for the family to live on.

Caesar:

And we, we lived pretty lower blue class, blue collar, you know, it was like, we were like, we didn't miss any meals or anything, but there was never like a nickle left, but my dad's biggest identity kick was his hard work.

Caesar:

And so that was the one ethic really that my dad passed onto us.

Caesar:

It wasn't Jesus.

Caesar:

It wasn't love it.

Caesar:

Wasn't gentleness.

Caesar:

It was, it was you work hard.

Caesar:

You work, it doesn't matter what you do.

Caesar:

You work hard.

Caesar:

And he had one job, he got out of the military and like 1951.

Caesar:

And then he retired from that same place.

Caesar:

That's what he tried to steer me into.

Caesar:

He won, there was, he had a little idea of where I could go and work and I could work there until I died.

Caesar:

And so as much as that, wasn't how my life went.

Caesar:

I do have this crazy hard work ethic that still drives me.

Caesar:

And when I'm not, I feel like, oh, everybody's going to think I'm lazy.

Caesar:

So that's why that kicked me.

Caesar:

so hard.

Twyla:

Yeah, I, I definitely get it.

Twyla:

I, I have similar things that were passed down from my parents.

Twyla:

Both my parents had hard work ethic and kind of this idea that any job that's worth doing, you're going to do it all the way.

Twyla:

And I think that that kind of fed into I'm going to do my best work.

Twyla:

Like I didn't know how to not.

Twyla:

Let myself get A's in college, all through college.

Twyla:

Like I just, I couldn't, I could never stop myself from going so far above and beyond that I knew that I'd be guaranteed to put in my best work.

Caesar:

Could I just shoot for a B?

Caesar:

No, I can't.

Caesar:

Okay.

Caesar:

Yeah, I wish I could.

Caesar:

Yeah, but no, I have to go for the A, I might not get it, but no, I'm gonna pretty sure I'm going to get it.

Caesar:

Yeah, that was exactly me going through seminary to, Nope.

Caesar:

I got to keep my 4.0, come on.

Caesar:

Okay.

Caesar:

I don't know.

Caesar:

Who's going to know.

Caesar:

I just told everybody.

Caesar:

Oh, so there I am.

Caesar:

I'm so proud though.

Caesar:

Anyway, but here's the other thing is, and this is how subtle this gets.

Caesar:

I, at times when I'm feeling this, like, as I'm trying to take a break and I feel like, oh, and I've said it to some close friends, like.

Caesar:

Yeah, I just, I feel pretty lazy lately.

Caesar:

And they'll say like, dude, are you kidding?

Caesar:

You're the least lazy guy.

Caesar:

I know you've gotten more done and accomplished more and put out more.

Caesar:

I've just it's nuts.

Caesar:

Well, then I like to hear that, but then I get into this weird performance-based thing.

Caesar:

Like, oh, that's how they see me.

Caesar:

So I want to work a little harder so I can maintain it's a lie.

Caesar:

It's just a lie.

Caesar:

All right, let's go to the next one.

Caesar:

What's the next lie?

Caesar:

I think we're on number

Twyla:

six.

Twyla:

Yep.

Twyla:

This one is very closely connected, but it's the idea of.

Twyla:

The selfish to rest.

Twyla:

So it's one thing to say it's a lazy, but I think so closely tied is that we somehow feel selfish.

Twyla:

And again, we're thinking less of ourselves.

Twyla:

If we take time to rest, we think that we're not thinking of the people around us.

Twyla:

We're not holding up our end of the stick.

Twyla:

And it can really just lead us to working harder, never slowing down.

Twyla:

And then we're depleted and we have nothing to pour out because we're not being filled.

Twyla:

So actually it's selfish to not rest because then we can't give our best to God or to anybody else.

Caesar:

Oh, that is so true.

Caesar:

And I remember one time and this will not, everybody will relate to this, but I remember one time wrestling with this exact thing feeling it's selfish to rest.

Caesar:

And someone said you're really type a, and so you're a driver.

Caesar:

So I want to just change the narrative for you a little bit.

Caesar:

You need to be good at resting.

Caesar:

Like you're good at everything else, but you're not very good at resting.

Caesar:

Why don't you be as good at resting as you are at everything else?

Caesar:

Not to prove not to earn.

Caesar:

Because in, so doing, you're going to love yourself and you're going to have something to give to others, all this stuff that you are.

Caesar:

So that's there that sort of put it in a different bucket for me, like, well, I want to be as good at resting, nevermind that God commanded it and called us to it.

Caesar:

It's part of the creational order.

Caesar:

But that, that reframed it.

Caesar:

And maybe not, it's not the best way, but when I need to rest, sometimes I'm like, I'm going to be good at resting today.

Caesar:

I want to just be good at resting.

Caesar:

And to me that's not icky, but maybe others here, it is icky.

Caesar:

But for me, it's like, well, if I want to give my best, do it unto the Lord.

Caesar:

How about I rest unto the Lord?

Caesar:

Could I do that?

Caesar:

That, that just softens it a little bit for me and that I don't feel as selfish.

Caesar:

I, you know what, it's the same kind of parallel to this for me is when I get sick.

Caesar:

Which praise God is rare, but when I get sick and so I go, well, I'm going to take off.

Caesar:

I'm not going to work today.

Caesar:

Well, since I work sort of at my own schedule and I work from home, unless I'm out on the road, teaching whatever I am like, well, I guess if I'm a lay in bed, Still be on my laptop.

Caesar:

Well, that's 99% of my work is on my laptop.

Caesar:

And so then even when I'm sick, then I feel, wow, you're selfish.

Caesar:

You're not that sick.

Caesar:

You're not digging ditches.

Caesar:

You're not having to climb ladders with roof shingles on your shoulder.

Caesar:

You're on a laptop.

Caesar:

You're just sitting there, you could still work.

Caesar:

And so I find it hard to.

Caesar:

Repair as well as restless, I had just like, Hey, you're sick rest, heal up a little bit.

Caesar:

Focus on just your body and your care of the temple for a day here or two or whatever.

Caesar:

Uh, last fall I spent three days in the hospital for some gastrointestinal stuff and, uh, Praise God, it's all good, but I don't, I don't really go to the hospital very often, but I had to be in there cause they had to just watch me and take care of some stuff.

Caesar:

But I, um, I still had a podcast episode to get out.

Caesar:

Some of the listeners will remember that and I, I sort of recycled bits of another one, but I had to record a new beginning for it and all that.

Caesar:

And so I recorded that in the hospital, on my iPhone, under the sheets.

Caesar:

So that took the echo out and I had a practice and test to how far to keep the mic and all that.

Caesar:

And I, that is still same thing.

Caesar:

I couldn't, I couldn't just took a week off for the podcast or posted no podcasts this week.

Caesar:

I'm sick.

Caesar:

That's all the audio would say, no, I couldn't do it.

Caesar:

So I'm still this one's still, I still believe this lie that, yeah, you're a little selfish when you take care of yourself or rest or repair.

Twyla:

Definitely get it too.

Twyla:

For me.

Twyla:

I think there's been a couple very slow.

Twyla:

Healing injuries.

Twyla:

One was funny story, but it's doing a high kick to stretch in the kitchen and slipped and cracked my ankle on the corner of the counter.

Twyla:

And this was months and months ago and it has still not fully healed.

Twyla:

So apparently I injured it in just such a way that.

Twyla:

It's worse than breaking a bone.

Twyla:

I didn't break a bone.

Twyla:

I didn't sprain anything, but it's been something that's kind of forced me to slow down and say, okay, well, I can't push as hard as I want to because then I'm going to be incapable of walking altogether and then I will be no use to anybody.

Twyla:

So I think sometimes God let's walk through some of those things just because there's something that we really need to grow from.

Twyla:

And so that's kind of been my season of learning that it's not selfish to rest in.

Twyla:

God sometimes gives us these signals that our body really needs us to slow down.

Twyla:

I don't

Caesar:

want to think that God has to break my legs, so I won't run off a cliff, but I think sometimes he does.

Caesar:

And I know some people that's not where their theology can go because we've.

Caesar:

So tightly wired, what's good.

Caesar:

What's bad.

Caesar:

Based on our perspective, not on God and his glory, him getting glorified in our life.

Caesar:

That for him to actually say, now watch this, you are in fact getting COVID or you are God, I'm going to go ahead and it's going on and it's in the planet, it's in the world and you're going to go ahead and bang your ankle on that counter is really hard and it's going to slow you down and you're going to, we're going to talk a little bit more about some stuff.

Caesar:

I believe that too.

Caesar:

I believe I love

Twyla:

how he can use anything, you know, whether or not he.

Twyla:

whether or not he willed that to happen?

Twyla:

Yeah.

Twyla:

Whether or not he causes it.

Twyla:

Definitely.

Twyla:

He invites us, I think, to grow through these things that, and often the most challenging things invite us to grow the most.

Caesar:

Isn't that the truth?

Caesar:

We, well, we were just having this conversation yesterday, Tina, and I that the hardest things, the hardest pruning, the deepest she's, she's really been, Tina's really been trying to grasp at this resting as well.

Caesar:

This Sabbathing, rhythm, and for her recent, that's not brand new in her life, but it's the focus of rest.

Caesar:

And Sabbath thing is new connected to her gardening.

Caesar:

She's not a great gardener.

Caesar:

She doesn't have huge gardens, but every year she's learning and she's growing and she's.

Caesar:

More deeply connecting our heart to God.

Caesar:

And she has been learning to prune everything to the max for its fruitfulness.

Caesar:

And she's like, I am so surprised at how I used to never want to prune anything that looked healthy or like, oh, I think there's a, bud on that one, I can't cut it back, but like, I really need to cut like a whole branch out of that thing.

Caesar:

Yeah.

Caesar:

But there's that one bud that might turn into a piece of fruit or a tomato or whatever.

Caesar:

She's like, I'm learning to cut out what appears good.

Caesar:

And then so much more fruit comes afterwards and that's, and I'm sitting here processing that and I'm explaining to my grandkids now, cause they're all in the garden where they're like crazy, even though they're little.

Caesar:

And so this is, yeah, this is a conversation that God's clearly trying to get our attention right now or about.

Caesar:

Okay.

Caesar:

Thank you.

Caesar:

That's helpful.

Caesar:

Okay.

Caesar:

Number seven, this is going to be the last one we get to discuss today, lay it on us

Twyla:

okay.

Twyla:

So this one, I think kind of all the rest of them feed into, and it's this idea that we have to be the ones in control.

Twyla:

So the lie is that I have to be in control, and it can feel risky and unstable to release that control and say, well, there's things that I don't have to have the final say on.

Twyla:

It can feel really reckless even.

Twyla:

But it leads us to just this constant striving , to get control or to maintain control.

Twyla:

And we feel like we can never, you know, really let that go and just walk with open hands and let God have his way.

Twyla:

So just realizing that we can flip the script and we don't have to be the ones in control because God is more than capable of being in control.

Twyla:

Can let us just operate out of this flow of him inside of us instead of us just trying to work and earn it.

Twyla:

Go a million different

Caesar:

directions that flows right out of one of the four GS that we talk about that we've learned from Tim Chester.

Caesar:

God is great.

Caesar:

So I don't have to be in control.

Caesar:

What am I trying to control?

Caesar:

And I go down and listen to this.

Caesar:

When I'm talking to others or teaching, it's like pretty much our summary is everything I'm trying to control it all.

Caesar:

And I think I a hundred percent agree that really this one is the foundation of all the rest.

Caesar:

We really don't believe God is great.

Caesar:

And that he's good.

Caesar:

And so I'm going to control it like, oh yeah, he is.

Caesar:

He's, he's great.

Caesar:

But he's probably going to need my help in this one or he's good, but you know what would be gooder, This I, I'm not going to wait, so I'll just go grasp it and I'll go more and more and more.

Caesar:

And then that ties into one of the previous ones.

Caesar:

Oh my goodness.

Caesar:

You said something pretty profound in the post too.

Caesar:

I wanted to talk just a little bit about, as we start to wrap up, you said that when we don't rest, we get Missional living backward.

Caesar:

And we focus on doing and forgetting that our doing flows from our being, which takes us right back to the beginning.

Caesar:

We were talking about do to be, or what the distortion should or what we do, doesn't equal our worth, but it's actually taken us backwards from Missional living.

Twyla:

Yeah, it definitely does.

Twyla:

And When we choose to rest in Him, then that is also what's rippling out beyond us.

Twyla:

And that's one way I like to describe Missional living...

Twyla:

is just as this ripple effect, that God is doing things inside of us,

Twyla:

and when we draw in really close proximity to him, and then we give people access to our lives.

Twyla:

So it's proximity to God, proximity to people that lets those things just kind of ripple out beyond us.

Twyla:

So when we are striving and we're trying to maintain control, and we're trying to do all of these things that kind of destroy our ability to rest, then that is what's rippling beyond us.

Twyla:

That's what we're perhaps inadvertently teaching others, but that's what we're communicating as.

Twyla:

This is the way to go and.

Twyla:

So, if we're trying to lead other people, we want to make sure that we're leading them well.

Twyla:

And I really liked what you said about being good at resting, because we want to be good at resting at having a Sabbath rhythm at coming to him to supply everything and really abiding in him rather than us trying to work and earn and strive because that's, that's how we're going to lead everybody else.

Twyla:

Yeah.

Caesar:

Yeah, wow.

Caesar:

And something in there.

Caesar:

I just want to highlight, cause I feel like God just spoke.

Caesar:

It was one of those Kairos moments when you were speaking for a second, I was like, whoa.

Caesar:

When you said like this ripples, you know, like when we draw close to God, when we are believing and understanding his heart and drawing close to the father and trusting in the Lord for all things, and then we live our lives with others, they get to come close to that, that they're actually getting to come closer to God.

Caesar:

And I don't know if that everybody believes that, like, I think everybody would believe this statement.

Caesar:

Everybody would say yes.

Caesar:

If we said, what if your neighbors, instead of hearing lots of more sermons or sitting in rows and singing camp songs together that they don't really know, or like that much, what if they got to just hang out with Jesus?

Caesar:

Would that be a good thing?

Caesar:

Do you think that would somehow Kam his life?

Caesar:

His love, his understanding of the father would rub off on them enough that it would like it would change their lives.

Caesar:

Everybody would say, of course it does.

Caesar:

Of course it would.

Caesar:

That'd be better than that, you know?

Caesar:

And that's exactly what Jesus said would happen.

Caesar:

I will put my life inside of you.

Caesar:

I will never leave you or forsake you.

Caesar:

You'll have my spirit.

Caesar:

You will do all that I've done.

Caesar:

And even greater things now go and be go and make it is that, oh, I love that so much.

Caesar:

What a bonus nugget here.

Caesar:

Okay.

Caesar:

Let's wrap up with something that you ended your post with too.

Caesar:

And I wanted people to hear it.

Caesar:

You wrote this thing called a prayer for the weary.

Caesar:

And I wanted folks to hear it in your own voice, not in mine.

Caesar:

Would you wrap us up here with this, a prayer for the weary?

Twyla:

Sure, sure.

Twyla:

I'd be happy to and thank you again, Caesar for having me back on.

Twyla:

This has been a huge honor.

Twyla:

So let's go ahead and pray.

Twyla:

Lord you yourself.

Twyla:

Show us how to rest.

Twyla:

You created rest and.

Twyla:

You created us to need rest.

Twyla:

We let go of our striving to do it all.

Twyla:

Be it all.

Twyla:

We open our hands and offer you the reigns.

Twyla:

We're sorry, for the times that we snatched back what we've offered you.

Twyla:

for the time that we've let fear spur us to take back control for the ways that we've assigned greater value to what we do, then what you say is true of us because of you lead us Lord and near you.

Twyla:

So we may align our hearts.

Twyla:

with your truth in the precious and holy name of Jesus, we pray.

Twyla:

Amen.

Caesar:

Amen.

Caesar:

Amen.

Caesar:

For sure.

Caesar:

Thanks again, sister really loved this talk and I know God's going to continue to use it in my heart.

Caesar:

And I'm certain he's going to bless many who are listening to this as well.

Caesar:

Thank you.

Caesar:

Well, as always, that was a great conversation with Twyla.

Caesar:

I love her heart and her insights into all this.

Caesar:

You're awesome.

Caesar:

Twyla.

Caesar:

Thanks again.

Caesar:

I trust that this turnover some soil in your heart, like it has mine.

Caesar:

As you were listening, maybe shining a light on a few lies.

Caesar:

You've been trapped in.

Caesar:

If we don't learn to rest physically, mentally, spiritually as a rhythm in our lives as a Sabbath rhythm, we're going against our God-given creational order the way God set us up to work from rest instead of resting from work or exhaustion.

Caesar:

And just think about this.

Caesar:

Others are watching our lives to see if the peace and joy and fulfillment we talk about as Christians is real.

Caesar:

If we live freaked out frenetic lives, they're as busy and stressed out as everyone else.

Caesar:

The they'll question, our beliefs.

Caesar:

And so should we, what are you believing rest?

Caesar:

Let me get to the big three for today, but first, a quick reminder, if you're interested in learning more about the coaching that my wife, Tina and I offer couples to be able to live missionally, live out a lifestyle of discipleship.

Caesar:

I'd really like to hop on a quick zoom call, tell you a little about it.

Caesar:

Answer any questions you have.

Caesar:

You can just go to Everyday Disciple dot com forward slash coaching.

Caesar:

All right now for the big three takeaways from today.

Caesar:

If nothing else, you're not going to want to miss these.

Caesar:

And as always, I will send you a printable PDF of the big three as a free download.

Caesar:

You can print it off, use it to talk to others about it, to remind yourself of some of the goodies, the big three points of this talk.

Caesar:

All you have to do is go to Everyday Disciple dot com forward slash big three, and we'll send it to you right away.

Caesar:

Here's the big three first, we've all been conditioned to believe that our work is synonymous with how valuable we are.

Caesar:

That's that do to be distortion, but we are each made in the image of the almighty God.

Caesar:

And he sees us as immensely valuable, valuable enough to give his very life for regardless of our productivity and performance.

Caesar:

When we know how dearly loved we are, when we believe that then we are free to work from rest instead of the other way around, which is far more life-giving than working harder and harder in order.

Caesar:

Up our value in the eyes of others.

Caesar:

Number two, when we don't rest, we get Missional living backward.

Caesar:

We focus on the doing, forgetting that doing flows from being what we do.

Caesar:

Doesn't produce our identity as Missional people.

Caesar:

Rather what Jesus has done on the cross.

Caesar:

Both secures our identity and sends us out on mission.

Caesar:

Again, not to earn his love and approval, not to prove to him and others how Missional we are now because of Jesus.

Caesar:

We both get to serve and we get to rest.

Caesar:

Don't miss that.

Caesar:

And number three, a regular rhythm of life infusing rest keeps our hearts soft to the Lord, fine tunes, our ability to hear his gentle promptings and it fills us.

Caesar:

So we have something good to pour out to others.

Caesar:

It's a grace-filled way of living and it takes the pressure off of us.

Caesar:

So we can truly let God lead if you're thinking.

Caesar:

Yes, I have some or many of those lies keeping me from truly resting, but, but where do I start?

Caesar:

Start by asking the holy spirit to grant you repentance and new freedom in these areas to give you a new mind, to, to move you from unbelief or believing these lies to believing the truth.

Caesar:

And I'd say begin by praying.

Caesar:

Twyla is a pro for the weary that she prayed as God rewires your heart to trust him more than.

Caesar:

I'll add a copy of her prayer for the weary to the big three this week.

Caesar:

So if you want that, just go ahead and get the download.

Caesar:

Go to Everyday Disciple dot com forward slash big three.

Caesar:

It'll be right there at the bottom right after the big three.

Caesar:

All right, well, that's it for today.

Caesar:

Thanks for being here.

Caesar:

I hope you'll join me again.

Caesar:

Next, as we talk about spiritual disciplines, I want to reframe the way you look at spiritual disciplines and what they really.

Caesar:

And hopefully open you up to greater freedom.

Caesar:

Can't wait, I'll talk to you soon.

Announcer:

Thanks for joining us today.

Announcer:

For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit Everyday Disciple dot com.