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Jesus Taught Me How To Fight Cancer
20th December 2023 • Jesus Taught Me That • BeFun BeKind Podcasts
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Today, we are talking to Terry Tucker about dealing with severe illness. Whether it’s yourself or a family member experiencing severe illness it can be debilitating. Terry is an author and motivational speaker who focuses on helping people find purpose in their life in the midst of illness and tragedy.

Terry has experienced this hisself through a terminal cancer diagnosis of a rare form or melanoma. After multiple surgeries and amputations he is dedicated to sharing his story and motivating others to live their best life.

Join us in exploring, not only how to move forward, but how to live a purpose filled life after a diagnosis that you weren’t expecting.

This podcast is produced by BeFun BeKind Podcasts. If you're interested in starting or growing a podcast like this one visit Befunbekind.com to start your journey.

Transcripts

Brent:

Welcome to the podcast, everyone.

Brent:

Today, we are going to be talking about dealing with severe illness,

Brent:

whether that is someone in your family that is going through this,

Brent:

or whether this is you yourself.

Brent:

We are going to be stepping through.

Brent:

How to handle that and how you can deal with that in your life.

Brent:

And we have Terry Tucker with us today.

Brent:

Terry Tucker is a motivational speaker, speaks all around the world on this

Brent:

type of subject and just how to develop.

Brent:

Purpose in your life when you have some unexpected things.

Brent:

That get thrown your way.

Brent:

So we're really excited to have Terry on most importantly, Terry

Brent:

has experienced this himself.

Brent:

He was actually diagnosed with a rare form.

Brent:

Of cancer and has just had a really amazing journey through this.

Brent:

And so I'm really looking forward to hearing his story.

Brent:

Terry Tucker, it is a pleasure having you on the podcast today.

Brent:

We're going to be talking about your journey through cancer and what it

Brent:

has been like to go through that.

Brent:

And there are so many people that can relate to that.

Brent:

Some way or another, and I'm looking forward to just

Brent:

hearing your personal journey.

Brent:

What's happening in that area of your life?

Terry Tucker:

Thanks for having me on.

Terry Tucker:

I really appreciate that.

Terry Tucker:

And I'm looking forward to talking to.

Terry Tucker:

Jesus has been a huge part of my life.

Terry Tucker:

God has been a huge part of my life growing up.

Terry Tucker:

I talk about the things that have gotten me through life?

Terry Tucker:

and I categorize them as the three F's, which are faith, family and friends.

Terry Tucker:

And, I sorta joke you can't tell this from looking at.

Terry Tucker:

I'm six foot, eight inches tall and played college basketball.

Terry Tucker:

And I have a brother who's six foot seven who pitched at the university of Notre

Terry Tucker:

Dame and another brother that's six foot six was drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers

Terry Tucker:

in the national basketball association.

Terry Tucker:

And then my dad was six five.

Terry Tucker:

So I joke that if you sat behind our family and church growing up

Terry Tucker:

there, wasn't a prayer's chance.

Terry Tucker:

You're going to see anything that was going on in, in front of us.

Terry Tucker:

But God has always been even with cancer.

Terry Tucker:

A lot of times they get the questions.

Terry Tucker:

Do you blame God, you blame Jesus because you got cancer.

Terry Tucker:

And I'm like, no, I don't think God got up on a Tuesday morning and looked at us

Terry Tucker:

to do list and said Terry Tucker cancer.

Terry Tucker:

But what I do believe is that God has given me the.

Terry Tucker:

The courage, the support, the love to get through, and we'll

Terry Tucker:

go into it to get through this.

Terry Tucker:

Pardon my French hell for the last nine years.

Terry Tucker:

And it really has been, and I know there's absolutely no way I

Terry Tucker:

could have gotten to this point without Jesus, without God in mind.

Brent:

I definitely want to get into that and let's maybe just start with that.

Brent:

Maybe just a little bit of who you are, and what's been happening in

Brent:

your life in the last few years.

Brent:

So let's just start there.

Terry Tucker:

So I've had numerous jobs in my life.

Terry Tucker:

Everything from the corporate sector to I was a policeman and was on the SWAT

Terry Tucker:

team and did undercover narcotic work.

Terry Tucker:

I had my own school security consulting business, but in 2012, I was a girl's

Terry Tucker:

high school basketball coach in Texas.

Terry Tucker:

And I had a callus break open on the bottom of my foot

Terry Tucker:

right below my third toe.

Terry Tucker:

And I didn't initially give it much thought because as a coach, you're on

Terry Tucker:

your feet a lot, but after a couple of weeks, when it didn't heal, I went

Terry Tucker:

to see a podiatrist, a foot doctor, friend of mine, and he took an x-ray and

Terry Tucker:

he's Terry, I think you have a little cyst in there and I can cut it out.

Terry Tucker:

And he did, and he showed it to me.

Terry Tucker:

It was just full gelatin sack with some white fat.

Terry Tucker:

And he said, it doesn't look to be anything that is a concern, but I'll send

Terry Tucker:

it off to pathology just to make sure.

Terry Tucker:

And then two weeks later I get a call from him.

Terry Tucker:

And as I said, he was a friend of mine and the more difficulty he was having.

Terry Tucker:

Telling me what was going on, the more frightened I was becoming until

Terry Tucker:

basically he really just laid it out.

Terry Tucker:

He said, Tara, been a doctor for 25 years.

Terry Tucker:

I have never seen this form of cancer.

Terry Tucker:

You have a rare form of melanoma, which we all think of as a skin

Terry Tucker:

disease around the sun too much.

Terry Tucker:

But you have this rare form that appears on the bottom of your.

Terry Tucker:

Or the palms of your hands.

Terry Tucker:

And I would recommend, because it is so rare that you go be treated

Terry Tucker:

at MD Anderson cancer center in Houston, which is probably one of

Terry Tucker:

the best cancer hospitals, if not the world, certainly the United States.

Terry Tucker:

So I did, and I had at the bottom of my foot excise to remove the tumor and I had

Terry Tucker:

all the lymph nodes in my groin removed.

Terry Tucker:

And then when I healed, I was put on a weekly injection.

Terry Tucker:

Of a drug called interferon that was designed just to keep

Terry Tucker:

the disease from coming back.

Terry Tucker:

It was not a cure by any means.

Terry Tucker:

And interferon basically gave me severe flu like symptoms for two to three days.

Terry Tucker:

After every week after each injection.

Terry Tucker:

And I took those weekly injections for almost five years.

Terry Tucker:

So imagine having the flu every week for five years, and again, not a cure.

Terry Tucker:

This is just to keep, as my doctor used to say, to kick the can down the road,

Terry Tucker:

to give you more time for more therapies to be developed, eventually 2017, the

Terry Tucker:

dark can be became so toxic to my body.

Terry Tucker:

That I had to stop it.

Terry Tucker:

And the disease came back almost immediately, 2018

Terry Tucker:

had my left foot amputated.

Terry Tucker:

Came back again, 2019 just started working its way up my leg into my

Terry Tucker:

shin required two more surgeries.

Terry Tucker:

And then last year, an undiagnosed tumor in my ankle grew large enough that it

Terry Tucker:

shattered my tibia, my shinbone and my only recourse during the pandemic was to

Terry Tucker:

have my left leg amputated above the knee, and also found out I have tumors in my

Terry Tucker:

lungs, which I'm being treated for now.

Terry Tucker:

So on that uplifting story.

Brent:

Yeah.

Brent:

Wow.

Brent:

That's a lot.

Brent:

I think anyone that has gone through a similar story, anyone that has

Brent:

come home from the doctor's office and, they've heard that word cancer.

Brent:

I think a lot of times that first question, those first few

Brent:

things that pop in your mind is.

Brent:

Why, why is this happening to me?

Brent:

If you're a believer, if you're approaching things from a Christian

Brent:

perspective maybe doubts start creeping up and you're like, okay

Brent:

what is this, how do I relate to this?

Brent:

How does this fit into my belief system?

Brent:

And you had to have those, like you had to go to that place at

Brent:

some point, I would imagine.

Brent:

How did that, had you worked through that?

Terry Tucker:

Yeah.

Terry Tucker:

When I was first diagnosed, I was like, I ran the gambit of emotions, I was mad.

Terry Tucker:

I was depressed.

Terry Tucker:

I was bargaining with God.

Terry Tucker:

All kinds of things ran through my mind.

Terry Tucker:

Until you just get to the point where it's you know what, these are the cards that?

Terry Tucker:

that God has dealt me and I'm going to have to play them there.

Terry Tucker:

There's no, Hey, what can I do a do over or something like that We're

Terry Tucker:

all going to experience pain in our lives and it doesn't have to be pain.

Terry Tucker:

Like my doesn't have to be cancer paint.

Terry Tucker:

Doesn't even have to be a terminal or chronic illness.

Terry Tucker:

You could flick a test at school or break up with your boyfriend or your

Terry Tucker:

girlfriend, or, not get the promotion at work that you think you deserve.

Terry Tucker:

Pain is inevitable in our lives.

Terry Tucker:

on the other hand, sufferings optional sufferings.

Terry Tucker:

What you do with that pain?

Terry Tucker:

Do you take that pain that God gave you that suffering or that,

Terry Tucker:

that pain and use it to make you a stronger and more determined?

Terry Tucker:

Or do you wallow in it and want people to feel sorry for you and

Terry Tucker:

feel sorry for yourself now I'll be the first one to tell you that.

Terry Tucker:

Do I have bad days?

Terry Tucker:

I absolutely do.

Terry Tucker:

There's no S on my chest.

Terry Tucker:

I don't have a Cape or anything like that.

Terry Tucker:

I certainly have bad days where I cry.

Terry Tucker:

Where I get down.

Terry Tucker:

I just don't let myself stay there because I don't think God wants me to be there.

Terry Tucker:

God wants me to use whatever.

Terry Tucker:

Time.

Terry Tucker:

I have left on this earth to tell my story and put as much goodness, as

Terry Tucker:

much positivity as much love as much motivation as I can back into the.

Brent:

Something that I thought about when you were saying that

Brent:

is the conversation that I, I had relatively recently, and that is.

Brent:

The difference between sort of fulfillment and like a deeper joy and happiness.

Brent:

And I think a lot of us approach life in that, oh, I need to have these sort

Brent:

of happy fuzzy feelings all the time.

Brent:

And that is where I get fulfillment from.

Brent:

But I think I hear this in what you were just saying as well that's maybe

Brent:

not the case at all, actually in that.

Brent:

Your fulfillment and the road that you're walking down may be full of

Brent:

struggle, may be full of some hardship, but that's where you're using it.

Brent:

You may not be happy everyday.

Brent:

You may not be happy every week.

Brent:

You may not be happy in the season that you're going through,

Brent:

but you're using that to fuel.

Brent:

What your passion is in life.

Brent:

You're using that to a fuel, what you believe you're supposed to do in life.

Terry Tucker:

It's, I guess one thing I learned and I learned a lot of things

Terry Tucker:

from playing team sports, I started playing basketball when I was nine.

Terry Tucker:

Way up through college.

Terry Tucker:

And one of the things I learned about playing team sports is

Terry Tucker:

the importance of being part of something bigger than yourself.

Terry Tucker:

If you don't do your job on a team, then you know, now you'll let

Terry Tucker:

yourself down, but you'll let your teammates down your coaches, down

Terry Tucker:

your parents, down your fans now.

Terry Tucker:

And if you think about it, the biggest team game that.

Terry Tucker:

we all play.

Terry Tucker:

Is this game of life.

Terry Tucker:

And I am on a clinical trial now of a drug that more than likely will not

Terry Tucker:

save my life, but it very well may give the doctors information that they

Terry Tucker:

can synthesize a drug that will save somebody's life five years, 10 years from.

Terry Tucker:

I only probably even be around when that occurs and that's okay.

Terry Tucker:

But that's part of being something that's bigger than yourself.

Terry Tucker:

This just isn't about me.

Terry Tucker:

And, and in today's society, there's a lot of, what's in it for me.

Terry Tucker:

And if it's, there's nothing for me, I'm not going to do it.

Terry Tucker:

I'm to the point where it's it's not about you, it's about us.

Terry Tucker:

And if we can come together, it's amazing what will get accomplished instead of.

Terry Tucker:

What, if it's not, if there's nothing in it for me that I'm not involved in, no,

Terry Tucker:

get involved, you got to get out there.

Terry Tucker:

We are all in this together, you go back to the Bible, you

Terry Tucker:

go back to Genesis workouts.

Terry Tucker:

It's not good for man to be alone, and he made woman, we're not

Terry Tucker:

designed to be, it's all about me.

Terry Tucker:

We're designed to be in this together.

Brent:

Yeah.

Brent:

And also think that's a really cool illustration of what Jesus said in

Brent:

his message in that I'm not here to be served, I'm here to serve.

Brent:

And he also designed that in his ministry from a very fundamental.

Brent:

Level.

Brent:

And I think that is the reason we are in talking about Jesus.

Brent:

All these years later is the strategy that he put in forth through a.

Brent:

A deep impact of a few people.

Brent:

So he had 12 people around him and he impact those people and he served

Brent:

those people and really deep ways.

Brent:

And he taught those people how to do the same thing, how to scale

Brent:

that and how to serve other people.

Brent:

And then those people in turn continue to show other people how to serve others.

Brent:

And so that is an amazing illustration to switch that off in your mind, or

Brent:

switch that on in your mind, whichever way you're thinking about it in that

Brent:

it is, it's not about me or at least if you were thinking that way, you're

Brent:

probably going to go through life.

Brent:

Achieving or accomplishing significantly less than you could,

Brent:

or at least being significantly less fulfilled than you could.

Brent:

Then if you switched on the mindset of, let me help this other person

Brent:

get to their fullest potential.

Brent:

Or let me pour into this other person.

Brent:

With this time that I have left.

Brent:

Sorry.

Brent:

We all have a finite amount of Tom.

Brent:

That's just the nature of who we are.

Brent:

And most of us have no clue what that time is.

Brent:

And so if we have the strategy that you just implemented we're going

Brent:

to be intentional about that, time.

Brent:

We're going to use that time to its fullest.

Brent:

And so that's a really powerful example.

Brent:

I think that you just laid out for us.

Terry Tucker:

Yeah I think it, it really, it helps me to realize that.

Terry Tucker:

I'm not alone.

Terry Tucker:

There, there are certainly times I feel alone, but I'm not alone.

Terry Tucker:

And whether it's my family, whether it's my friends, but more importantly, whether

Terry Tucker:

God is guiding me, it's yeah, this is gonna, this is going to be terrible.

Terry Tucker:

And you're going to have a really bad day today.

Terry Tucker:

I know that starting Monday, I go back to.

Terry Tucker:

And it's going to be bad.

Terry Tucker:

It's going to be vomiting.

Terry Tucker:

It's going to be shaking.

Terry Tucker:

It's going to be fever head.

Terry Tucker:

It's going to be ugly.

Terry Tucker:

But if I can mirror that or if I can connect my suffering to the suffering

Terry Tucker:

that Jesus did, then that suffering has purpose that suffering has meaning.

Terry Tucker:

And I've always felt that everybody's life on earth should be about serving.

Terry Tucker:

What are we doing to help our fellow, man?

Terry Tucker:

What are we doing to run bro, promote or love our God.

Terry Tucker:

It's about giving of ourselves to something that's bigger than us.

Terry Tucker:

And I think if you realize that it's life has a lot of meaning.

Terry Tucker:

If you focus on that, instead of just saying what's in it for me, if nothing's

Terry Tucker:

in it for me, then you know what?

Terry Tucker:

I don't want to be involved in it.

Terry Tucker:

Yeah.

Terry Tucker:

Get involved.

Terry Tucker:

Get out there, get involved with other people.

Brent:

Absolutely.

Brent:

Did you have the same mindset before the journey that you're going through

Brent:

now with cancer and everything?

Brent:

Cause this is obviously you're full in on this now.

Brent:

This is, this is 100.

Brent:

Your you're calling obviously, did it start there?

Brent:

It was this sort of a moment that happened, and this is

Brent:

how you responded to it.

Terry Tucker:

Yeah.

Terry Tucker:

To a point, I think I had some of it, I think it, it is crystallized

Terry Tucker:

more as I've gone through.

Terry Tucker:

These things where it's just, it just keeps coming.

Terry Tucker:

I reminded the old Winston Churchill quote, the prime minister of

Terry Tucker:

great Britain during world war II.

Terry Tucker:

He said, when you're going through hell, keep going.

Terry Tucker:

You can't stop you there.

Terry Tucker:

There's no, you can't push a button and say, not today.

Terry Tucker:

It doesn't matter whether you want to do this or not.

Terry Tucker:

It's gonna happen.

Terry Tucker:

You're gonna.

Terry Tucker:

You're going to be involved in it.

Terry Tucker:

You're going to be part of it.

Terry Tucker:

And you don't have a choice.

Terry Tucker:

So did I have a mindset?

Terry Tucker:

Yeah.

Terry Tucker:

When I was in high school, I had three knee surgeries.

Terry Tucker:

I was pretty good basketball player.

Terry Tucker:

And I remember when I went back playing that my brain, my mind was

Terry Tucker:

putting all these negative thoughts into my thought into my brain.

Terry Tucker:

Things like, Hey, you're probably a step slower, coaches, aren't going

Terry Tucker:

to want to recruit you to play in.

Terry Tucker:

And I, I learned that, 14, 15 years old that you need to switch that narrative.

Terry Tucker:

Your brain can hold one thought at a time.

Terry Tucker:

Why would you want to make that a negative thought?

Terry Tucker:

To switch that negativity, to switch that, oh, what was made

Terry Tucker:

things are bad, stuff like that.

Terry Tucker:

Yeah.

Terry Tucker:

Things are bad.

Terry Tucker:

Okay.

Terry Tucker:

What are you gonna do about it?

Terry Tucker:

How are you going to use that bad?

Terry Tucker:

How are you gonna use all that pain that you're going through

Terry Tucker:

to make you a stronger person?

Terry Tucker:

And I understand that.

Terry Tucker:

Work, we're wired, through evolution to be like, we avoid pain and

Terry Tucker:

discomfort and we seek pleasure.

Terry Tucker:

But if you don't understand that, The only way you're going to grow.

Terry Tucker:

The only way that you're going to get better at anything is to step outside

Terry Tucker:

your comfort zone and realize that, you know what, you're not there by yourself.

Terry Tucker:

God's right there on your shoulder.

Terry Tucker:

Jesus is right there with you.

Terry Tucker:

And when you step outside that comfort zone and you face things that are

Terry Tucker:

scary, you realize that you can do more.

Terry Tucker:

And you can do more and you can do more.

Terry Tucker:

There was a professor in the 1950s at Johns Hopkins who performed an

Terry Tucker:

experiment with rats and he took rats and he put them in water that

Terry Tucker:

were over their head and he wanted to see how long they could tread water.

Terry Tucker:

And initially, most of the rats, about 15 minutes before they suck.

Terry Tucker:

And right before they started to drown, he grabbed the rats.

Terry Tucker:

He pulled them out, dry them off and let them rest for one.

Terry Tucker:

And then he took him and he put it back in that same tank of water and

Terry Tucker:

almost every single rat treaded water the second time for about 60 hours.

Terry Tucker:

Now think about that first time, 15 minutes.

Terry Tucker:

That's all I can do.

Terry Tucker:

And then I'm going to drop second time, 60 hours that told me two things.

Terry Tucker:

One, our bodies are incredible machines that can do a whole lot

Terry Tucker:

more than we ever think they could.

Terry Tucker:

And to, and probably more importantly, how important hope is in our

Terry Tucker:

lives because those rats had hope.

Terry Tucker:

Those rats had hope.

Terry Tucker:

The second time that they would, somebody would come in and rescue them.

Terry Tucker:

Jesus is that rescue for us.

Terry Tucker:

God is that rescue for us.

Terry Tucker:

But I also think God says, you know what I did.

Terry Tucker:

I designed you to handle so much more than you ever thought you could.

Terry Tucker:

But you put these impediments up in front of yourself and close that off.

Terry Tucker:

And I just, I love that experiment because it just shows you

Terry Tucker:

what we are capable of doing.

Terry Tucker:

If rats can do this, what can we do?

Terry Tucker:

Because we're so much more complex than a rat is.

Terry Tucker:

So I just loved that experiment and the power of hope in our

Terry Tucker:

lives and what it can do for you.

Brent:

I have never heard that experiment before.

Brent:

I've never heard of that.

Brent:

That is a really cool illustration of that.

Brent:

Absolutely.

Brent:

Wow.

Brent:

That's amazing.

Brent:

And it's so true.

Brent:

Like we have no idea.

Brent:

A lot of times, most of us have no idea what we're truly capable

Brent:

of because we're not stretched.

Brent:

We don't put ourselves in situations or experiences that would stretch us.

Brent:

And I think what you just said is a good call-out to do that more often.

Brent:

And I think that we should, we could all.

Brent:

Let's take a step back and say, Hey, I need to be searching for growth.

Brent:

I need to see, I need to be putting myself in experiences.

Brent:

That's going to push what I think I maybe what I never thought I

Brent:

could be capable of before that.

Brent:

That's really profound.

Brent:

And so actually there's a, there's something there's a scripture it's

Brent:

not coming to me right now, but it says, w we'll never be put through

Brent:

more than what we can handle.

Brent:

And the problem is we we just don't realize how much we can actually handle.

Terry Tucker:

You're right.

Terry Tucker:

I have people come up to me all the time and they're like,

Terry Tucker:

I could never do what you do.

Terry Tucker:

I could never go through what you've gone through and my response to them.

Terry Tucker:

And it's a flippant response because those people bother me to

Terry Tucker:

be quite honestly is you're right.

Terry Tucker:

You could, because you've already decided.

Terry Tucker:

That you couldn't do it, you've already decided that there's absolutely no way.

Terry Tucker:

Why would you go into something already defeating yourself?

Terry Tucker:

Even if it's a, if it's a test, I didn't study for this exam last night.

Terry Tucker:

Why would you go into, I'm going to blow this test.

Terry Tucker:

Why wouldn't you at least go into it?

Terry Tucker:

Hey, at least I paid attention in class.

Terry Tucker:

I know this stuff.

Terry Tucker:

I'm going to do great on this test because if you go into it with the

Terry Tucker:

mindset that you're not going to be successful at it, you're absolutely

Terry Tucker:

not going to be successful at it.

Terry Tucker:

And why would you waste your time.

Brent:

Yeah.

Brent:

Yeah.

Brent:

That's so true.

Brent:

Something else that I do want to get your input on on this journey

Brent:

is just the people around you.

Brent:

So your relationships and your family, just the people

Brent:

that have been close to you.

Brent:

Both from the perspective of maybe how they have responded to this and

Brent:

the journey that they've had with you and just how it has either grown

Brent:

those relationships or hindered them as, or whatever has happened

Brent:

in that area, would love to just hear that aspect of your story.

Terry Tucker:

Sure.

Terry Tucker:

So I think my family and it's just me and my wife and our dog.

Terry Tucker:

And our daughter was in high school when I was diagnosed with cancer and my wife

Terry Tucker:

and I made a conscious decision back then that we would never lie to her.

Terry Tucker:

We would tell her what was going on, obviously age appropriate for

Terry Tucker:

what she was able to understand.

Terry Tucker:

She's an adult now.

Terry Tucker:

So she's totally involved in things that are going on.

Terry Tucker:

And when I found out I had tumor zone, I lungs, it was suggested to me

Terry Tucker:

that I do chemotherapy and I, my dad had been sick and it died of cancer.

Terry Tucker:

Struggled through chemotherapy.

Terry Tucker:

And I looked at my doctor's is it going to save my life?

Terry Tucker:

And he's nah, probably not.

Terry Tucker:

I'm like, I don't think I want to do that, but I'll go home to my family and

Terry Tucker:

we'll talk about, so I go home and I tell my wife and daughter what's going on.

Terry Tucker:

And my daughter's immediately, you're like, all right, we need a family meeting.

Terry Tucker:

I'm like, there's three of us.

Terry Tucker:

What do you mean a family meeting?

Terry Tucker:

It was just a so we all sit around the kitchen table and I tell my side, my

Terry Tucker:

wife talks about what she would like, my daughter talks about what she was.

Terry Tucker:

And then my daughter's like, all right, let's vote.

Terry Tucker:

How many people think dad should get chemotherapy?

Terry Tucker:

And my wife and daughter raised their hand and I get out vote two

Terry Tucker:

to one, and I'm like, it's my body.

Terry Tucker:

Wait a minute.

Terry Tucker:

But I remember back when I was a policeman and I was in the police academy, the

Terry Tucker:

defensive tactics instructor who taught us how to defend ourselves, how to

Terry Tucker:

spring a photograph to class every day of the people we love the most.

Terry Tucker:

And we were to look at that photograph as we were learning these different

Terry Tucker:

techniques, because he reasoned you will fight harder for the people you

Terry Tucker:

love, then you will fight for yourself.

Terry Tucker:

And I think that's absolutely true.

Terry Tucker:

And, there's no doubt.

Terry Tucker:

My wife had never seen the inside of an emergency room until she

Terry Tucker:

married me and she is a tough, strong Norwegian woman who I am totally

Terry Tucker:

convinced I would be dead right now.

Terry Tucker:

Had she not seen some things like we've got to get you to the hospital.

Terry Tucker:

So my family has been amazing.

Terry Tucker:

I always tell the story.

Terry Tucker:

About when I had my second surgery, the lymph nodes removed from my groin and I

Terry Tucker:

had 40 staples that went from my thigh up through my groin, into my abdomen.

Terry Tucker:

And I was released from the hospital and I was asked if I wanted pain

Terry Tucker:

medication and I don't like to take medication if I don't have to.

Terry Tucker:

And it was a short ride home.

Terry Tucker:

I said, no, I don't think I want it.

Terry Tucker:

So when I got home, I had to navigate three steps from the garage

Terry Tucker:

into the house, which I did with.

Terry Tucker:

And then I had an navigate seven steps to a landing and then seven more

Terry Tucker:

steps to the top floor, to my bedroom.

Terry Tucker:

And I got up to the landing and my groin was, felt like it was on fire.

Terry Tucker:

The staples were pulling and I'm six foot back then.

Terry Tucker:

I was six foot eight, 240 pounds.

Terry Tucker:

And I looked at my wife and daughter and I said, I gotta sit down.

Terry Tucker:

I got run.

Terry Tucker:

And they knew that if I sat down that there was no way

Terry Tucker:

I was going to get back up.

Terry Tucker:

So literally my daughter grabbed me by my shirt and my wife sorta pushed from

Terry Tucker:

the back and they got me up the stairs.

Terry Tucker:

And what I took away from that story was who in your life is it?

Terry Tucker:

God.

Terry Tucker:

Is it other people who in your life is pushing and pulling

Terry Tucker:

you towards your goals?

Terry Tucker:

Or maybe even more importantly.

Terry Tucker:

Who are you pushing or pulling towards their goals?

Terry Tucker:

I love that story.

Terry Tucker:

because I think it's incredibly important.

Terry Tucker:

And I'll end with this in terms of friends, when you get a terminal disease,

Terry Tucker:

or when you get cancer, you find out real quickly who your friends are.

Terry Tucker:

And the people that drove me nuts were always the people who were

Terry Tucker:

like, Hey, I know you're going in to have your leg cut off.

Terry Tucker:

You need anything?

Terry Tucker:

Give me.

Terry Tucker:

I'm sorry, I don't have time to tell you what I need, but the same things I

Terry Tucker:

have going on at my house are the same things you have going on at your house.

Terry Tucker:

I need the grass cut.

Terry Tucker:

I need the dog Walker.

Terry Tucker:

I need groceries, to be shopped for.

Terry Tucker:

So don't sit on the sidelines and pretend you're playing in the game.

Terry Tucker:

If you really love me, if you really care about.

Terry Tucker:

Get out there and help me now.

Terry Tucker:

I'll never forget.

Terry Tucker:

When I got home from the hospital after my first surgery, my, my cell phone rang.

Terry Tucker:

I didn't have to stay in the hospital after the operation.

Terry Tucker:

And it was my 93 year old friend.

Terry Tucker:

He'd been in world war II and he said, Terry, I know you just

Terry Tucker:

got home from the hospital.

Terry Tucker:

Can I come over for 10 minutes?

Terry Tucker:

I won't bother you.

Terry Tucker:

His name was Bud I said, sure, Bud, come on, Bud comes over.

Terry Tucker:

He'd been to Costco.

Terry Tucker:

He hands us a chicken, a fully cooked yet.

Terry Tucker:

And a pan of cream cheese, Danish.

Terry Tucker:

And he's here, you have dinner for tonight and you'll have breakfast for the morning,

Terry Tucker:

but didn't stand on the sidelines and try to pretend he was playing in the game.

Terry Tucker:

He got involved and he helped us.

Terry Tucker:

And I would suggest that.

Terry Tucker:

And I know I've done that, Hey, you need anything.

Terry Tucker:

Call me.

Terry Tucker:

Don't say that to people anymore.

Terry Tucker:

If you really want to help them get out there and do something for them,

Terry Tucker:

cut their grass, take their dog for a walk, tell him you'll watch the

Terry Tucker:

kids while they're doing whatever.

Terry Tucker:

Get involved in people's lives.

Terry Tucker:

Don't stand on the sidelines.

Brent:

That is a huge life lesson.

Brent:

And I'll tell you what, I think that right there specifically is something

Brent:

that a lot of people struggle with.

Brent:

And I think it would boil down to an intentional and being

Brent:

intentional in your actions.

Brent:

I think a lot of people.

Brent:

Struggled with that.

Brent:

And I think a lot of people also struggle with vulnerability.

Brent:

And I think both of what you just explained in your story

Brent:

pulls both of those out.

Brent:

And so you allowed your family to come in and impact you.

Brent:

And even though you were the one going to.

Brent:

It was your body.

Brent:

So to speak, you said, you know what?

Brent:

I realized the importance of being vulnerable.

Brent:

And I realized that these people close to me, I have to let them impact me.

Brent:

And that's also something that, you know that a lot of us dismiss.

Brent:

We think that we're on these we're strong and we can plow through whatever it is.

Brent:

We don't need help.

Brent:

And that's not, that's not a place to be, maybe even if it is a situation

Brent:

that you think that you've got.

Brent:

If you're not letting people into your life, if you're not letting them impact

Brent:

you in areas of your life, that are most crucial at the time, then you're really.

Brent:

Selling yourself short and re really missing an opportunity to allow

Brent:

people to pour into your life.

Brent:

And man, that, that is an amazing life lesson.

Brent:

I appreciate you explaining that to us.

Brent:

And, I can imagine anyone that has gone through this particular

Brent:

example of cancer or anything else can probably relate to that.

Brent:

And as a follow-up question to that, let me ask you this.

Brent:

I know at the beginning of this you mentioned you don't know, you don't

Brent:

know how long your journey is from now.

Brent:

What, when you're having those types of conversations with your.

Brent:

Friends, your family.

Brent:

How do you approach that?

Brent:

What's the mindset there?

Terry Tucker:

So when I found out that I was going to have my leg

Terry Tucker:

amputated and I had these tumors in my lungs I went to the cemetery.

Terry Tucker:

I went to the mortuary, I went to the church and I plan my

Terry Tucker:

funeral and I got some from some people I got some brushed back.

Terry Tucker:

They were like, don't you think that's defeat.

Terry Tucker:

And I looked at him like last time I checked, we're all gonna die.

Terry Tucker:

Nobody's working on a cure for life right now.

Terry Tucker:

The point I was trying to make with them is that everybody dies, but

Terry Tucker:

not everybody really lives there.

Terry Tucker:

There's a native American Blackfoot proverb that I just love.

Terry Tucker:

And it goes like this.

Terry Tucker:

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced live your life

Terry Tucker:

in such a way so that when you die, The world cries and you rejoice.

Terry Tucker:

That's what I want.

Terry Tucker:

I don't have this tremendous fear of death because I feel that I live the purpose

Terry Tucker:

that God put me on this earth to do.

Terry Tucker:

And because of that, I'm almost excited to see what's on the other side of death and

Terry Tucker:

people look at me and it's yeah, I get it.

Terry Tucker:

Our society is so hung up on, oh my God, I'm afraid to die.

Terry Tucker:

Guess what?

Terry Tucker:

We're all going to die.

Terry Tucker:

Everybody's going there?

Terry Tucker:

The only person who's come back is Jesus.

Terry Tucker:

So you know what?

Terry Tucker:

I don't see any halo on my head.

Terry Tucker:

So that's not happening with.

Terry Tucker:

So why be afraid of it?

Terry Tucker:

Why not embrace our lives?

Terry Tucker:

Now find the reason God put us here, live that reason so that when you do die, you

Terry Tucker:

can go back and, people are so hung up.

Terry Tucker:

I, I've gotta be powerful.

Terry Tucker:

I've gotta be influential.

Terry Tucker:

I've gotta be rich.

Terry Tucker:

I've got to be all that kind of stuff.

Terry Tucker:

You know what none of that stuff goes with you.

Terry Tucker:

On the other side of life.

Terry Tucker:

I believe the only thing that does go with us is the love

Terry Tucker:

that we were created in you.

Terry Tucker:

God created us an own image and likeness.

Terry Tucker:

God is love.

Terry Tucker:

So take that love back to your creator.

Terry Tucker:

And it's hard for me, especially with a lot of friends talk like that.

Terry Tucker:

I have neighbors that as soon as I bring.

Terry Tucker:

That I know this is terminal.

Terry Tucker:

I know that there's a very good chance this time.

Terry Tucker:

Next year I won't be here.

Terry Tucker:

They're totally, Nope.

Terry Tucker:

We don't want to talk about that.

Terry Tucker:

That's not something we want to deal with.

Terry Tucker:

I can't make you face that, but someday you're going to face that someday.

Terry Tucker:

You're going to be in my situation.

Terry Tucker:

Maybe not with cancer, maybe with something else, but you're

Terry Tucker:

going to have to face it.

Terry Tucker:

I faced it.

Terry Tucker:

I'm excited about it.

Terry Tucker:

I want to see what's on the other side.

Terry Tucker:

I hope that I get the opportunity to see God.

Brent:

Yeah, I'll tell you, I really appreciate you approaching

Brent:

that topic because I do think.

Brent:

So many people have a fear.

Brent:

I think they have a literal fear of having those conversations,

Brent:

not only with other people, but even having those conversations

Brent:

with themselves and literally thinking through what that means.

Brent:

And I think when you don't have those conversations, especially with yourself.

Brent:

What you start to miss out on is exactly what you just walked through, the strategy

Brent:

that you're going to go through before you get to that point and the planning

Brent:

that you're going to go through before you get to that point and the impact

Brent:

that you're going to have, because, once we get through the other side

Brent:

of that, our story has been written, there's no going back and changing

Brent:

it, but right now we can change it.

Brent:

We can create whatever sort of story we want to create out of it.

Brent:

So that's an amazing story.

Brent:

That's an amazing way to approach it.

Brent:

A great mindset.

Terry Tucker:

Yeah I it's something, and one of the things that we haven't talked

Terry Tucker:

about yet, and that I would like to, I'm sure we're getting close to time-wise.

Terry Tucker:

It is what I like to call my four truths.

Terry Tucker:

And these are things that I've developed over mostly my

Terry Tucker:

nine year battle with cancer.

Terry Tucker:

And I'll give them to you.

Terry Tucker:

They're one sentence.

Terry Tucker:

I have them on a post-it note sitting here on my desk that I

Terry Tucker:

see multiple times every day.

Terry Tucker:

Some of them, we talked about some of them, we haven't, the first

Terry Tucker:

one is control your mind, or your mind is going to control you.

Terry Tucker:

The second one is embrace the pain and the difficulty that we all experienced with.

Terry Tucker:

And use that to make you a stronger and more determined individual.

Terry Tucker:

And this third one is what we've been talking about.

Terry Tucker:

It's more of a legacy truth, and it's this what we leave behind.

Terry Tucker:

Is what we weave in the hearts of other people.

Terry Tucker:

And then the fourth one is pretty self-explanatory.

Terry Tucker:

As long as you don't quit, you can never be defeated.

Terry Tucker:

And I use those.

Terry Tucker:

Those are part of my soul.

Terry Tucker:

Those are just things that, whether, God has dropped them in

Terry Tucker:

there or he's allowed me to get.

Terry Tucker:

Come to the realization that these are important things that, that

Terry Tucker:

I need to look at in my life.

Terry Tucker:

And instead of running from pain, use that pain, flip it inside,

Terry Tucker:

use it as energy, burn it as fuel to make you a better person.

Terry Tucker:

So many people want to run from it.

Terry Tucker:

They want to run the alcohol.

Terry Tucker:

They want to run the drugs.

Terry Tucker:

They want to run to bad behavior.

Terry Tucker:

Don't do that.

Terry Tucker:

Use that paint to make you a stronger and better individual.

Brent:

Yeah.

Brent:

Wow.

Brent:

That is really well said.

Brent:

And I couldn't agree more.

Brent:

I think there's so many opportunities out there that so many of us miss

Brent:

to just again, use that as fuel to sort of power your impact to the

Brent:

world, with the people around you.

Brent:

Thank you for providing that.

Brent:

I want to call out your book cause I know you have a book out and I've

Brent:

started reading it myself, but I want you to just tell people where they

Brent:

can get it mentioned the book maybe briefly talk about it just a second.

Terry Tucker:

The book is called sustainable excellence.

Terry Tucker:

The 10 principles to leading your uncommon and extraordinary life.

Terry Tucker:

And you can get it.

Terry Tucker:

You can get a book online, you can get it@amazonbarnesandnoble.com,

Terry Tucker:

apple I books and stuff like that.

Terry Tucker:

It's really a book that was born out of two conversations.

Terry Tucker:

I had one was with a former player that had moved to Colorado and my

Terry Tucker:

wife and I had dinner with him.

Terry Tucker:

And I remember saying to her one night, I'm really excited.

Terry Tucker:

You're living close because I'm going to, I want to watch

Terry Tucker:

you find and live your purpose.

Terry Tucker:

And she got real quiet for a while.

Terry Tucker:

And she said coach, what do you think my purpose is?

Terry Tucker:

I said, I have no idea, but that's what your life should be about.

Terry Tucker:

Find the reason God puts you on the face of this earth and then living that.

Terry Tucker:

purpose.

Terry Tucker:

And then the other one was just with a college student who asked

Terry Tucker:

me what I thought were the most important things he should learn.

Terry Tucker:

And not just because he's successful in business or his

Terry Tucker:

job, but in life in general.

Terry Tucker:

And eventually over time I developed these 10 principles and I sent

Terry Tucker:

them to him and then I stepped back and I was like, You know what?

Terry Tucker:

I got a life story that fits underneath this, or I know somebody's

Terry Tucker:

life who emulates that principle.

Terry Tucker:

And so I sat down at the computer during the three month period that

Terry Tucker:

I was healing from my aunt, my leg amputation, and I just built stories

Terry Tucker:

under each of those principles.

Brent:

Wow.

Brent:

That's so cool.

Brent:

And so it's on Amazon.

Brent:

Is it on, is it in bookstores or is it mainly online or?

Terry Tucker:

It's mainly online.

Terry Tucker:

I it's not in brick and mortar

Brent:

Gotcha.

Brent:

Okay.

Terry Tucker:

could, or you could go in Barnes and noble and order

Terry Tucker:

it, but it won't be on the shelf.

Brent:

Gotcha.

Brent:

So definitely go check it out online view the Kindle version.

Brent:

Yeah, absolutely great book.

Brent:

And I can't tell you how much I appreciate you writing it.

Brent:

Just, this is an amazing story to hear.

Brent:

So thank you so much, Terry.

Brent:

This has been great.

Brent:

I know we have another segment coming up as well, where we're going

Brent:

to dive into a little bit more.

Brent:

The specifics of how to actually design your passion, how to

Brent:

actually design what you get out of life and design your purpose.

Brent:

And so looking forward to going into that, but this has been really awesome.

Brent:

Thank you so much for coming.

Brent:

I appreciate it, Terry.

Terry Tucker:

Thank you, Brent.

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