Diana Acuna has spent the last 20 years in SaaS, helping companies evaluate and implement software solutions across a variety of industries.

Despite having success throughout her career, deep down she was afraid to be herself and afraid of what other people thought, so she became a perfectionist.

She had focused on the external factors that would progress her career rather than the internal struggles that were holding her back.

One day she decided to choose courage over fear and realized that expressing her feelings, opinions, and emotions wasn’t going to kill her.

In fact, the opposite was true. People engaged and responded positively.

In today's episode of Smashing the Plateau, you will learn how improving your emotional intelligence can drive lasting change in your career and your life.

Diana and I discuss:

• Choosing courage over fear [03:26]
• What happens when you share your struggles [07:57]
• How you feel about sharing your vulnerabilities [09:55]
• Techniques for sharing sensitive information [11:59]
• Diana’s likes and competencies [16:46]
• Integrating employment and entrepreneurship [18:52]

Today, Diana is a speaker and coaches professionals on how to improve their emotional intelligence so they can drive lasting change in their careers and lives.

Learn more about Diana at https://dianatalks.com or https://www.linkedin.com/in/dianaacuna/.

Thank you to Our Sponsors:

 The Smashing the Plateau Community

https://community.smashingtheplateau.com

Circle

https://smashingtheplateau.com/circle

My father took his life when I was five years old.

And that's not generally something I go around telling a lot of people.

I'm not embarrassed about it anymore.

I was for a long time, but in, in a workplace it's generally not something

that organically comes up in conversation.

Yet over the last two years in Covid, a lot of people have been affected by

mental health and things have happened.

And I had a colleague who lost a family member to suicide, and it was

at that point where I felt, appropriate to share with that person, I've

gone through the same thing, too.

Welcome to Smashing the Plateau.

We help consultants, coaches, entrepreneurs, and small business

owners build their business after a long career, as an employed professional.

We believe you should be able to do what you love and get paid

what you're worth, consistently.

I'm your host David Shriner-Cahn.

Today on Smashing the Plateau, I'm speaking with the founder

of Diana Talks, Diana Acuna.

In today's episode, Diana explains how she learned to share information about

herself, opening connections with others.

By deepening relationships, Diana has created lasting change

in her career and her life.

Stay with us to hear all the details.

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Learn more smashingtheplateau.com.

Now let's welcome, Diana Acuna.

Diana has spent the last 20 years in SAAS, helping companies evaluate

and implement software solutions across a variety of industries.

Despite having success throughout her career, deep down, she was

afraid to be herself and afraid of what other people thought.

So she became a perfectionist.

She had focused on the external factors that would progress her

career rather than the internal struggles that were holding her back.

One day, Diana decided to choose courage over fear and realize that

expressing her feelings, opinions, and emotions, wasn't going to kill her.

In fact, the opposite was true.

People engage and responded positively.

Today, Diana is a speaker and coaches professionals on how to

improve their emotional intelligence so they can drive lasting change

in their careers and their lives.

Diana, welcome to the show.

Thank you, David.

So happy to be here.

It's great to have you, so tell me about that day when you

decided to choose courage over fear.

Sounds like it was a real trigger moment for you.

It was early in my career, and I remember finding it was a colleague

and, a colleague that had become a friend.

So it was someone that I felt safe with, that I could, that

I felt like I could trust.

And I had previously avoided talking about emotions, I

thought that they were useless.

I could operate life without them.

And I was nervous about sharing some of the things that had happened in

my childhood and an adolescence for fear of being judged or frowned upon.

And so in that moment, I shared my story with this gentleman about some

of the things that I had experienced in my childhood and in my life.

And that was a pivotal moment for me in my career, in the way that he

reacted and how he responded to it.

And I learned that he had actually gone through something similar.

We ended up I think bonding and becoming even closer as a result of it.

And that moment led me on this path to go to therapy, do self work and really just

start this whole evolution and journey of focusing more on how I feel quite

frankly, in emotions and how those things could really benefit me and being okay.

Quite honestly, with talking about some of the things, that happened to us as

people and not just as professionals.

And from that point on, what did you do

differently in your work environment?

It was an evolution that took time, truthfully.

I would say I kept, sort of testing the water to see, was

it safe to continue to do this?

Cuz I think it's a balance too of, I don't, know that you need to go around

sharing your story to everybody.

But I think being on honest, being authentic, owning who you are instead

of trying to hide that and having courage to share opinions, even if

they're maybe less than popular, usually tends to get positive results.

And so I just continued to try that over and over again in ways that I think that I

felt would be safe, and learned over time, there's a lot of power in doing that.

And I think continued to get a lot of evidence.

Like every time I did that, every time I took a risk, and I was courage

and I said something that I thought maybe would be unpopular, or I said

something or I did something maybe that I wouldn't have otherwise done.

The responses that I were getting from people, surprised me in a good way.

You know, it's interesting, reflecting on how I've

behaved in similar situations and, and I couldn't agree with you more

so I know, for example, when I'm writing, emails to our list or sharing

some posts on social media, which are designed to help our audience of

consultants, coaches, and small business owners do better in their business

and improve their business success.

When I write something.

if there's a point that I want to make and I write something where I share

how I may have struggled with the same issue, I tend to get a better response

from people, either a better open rate or, or I'll get more responses from the

email or more responses to the post.

Yeah.

So I totally see it.

for example, I recently wrote a post about trying to, I think it was trying

to focus on, just getting a small amount or maybe even just one like major thing

done per day and trying to say no to all the distractions, which I find really

hard to do, because the distractions are usually people that want some kind of

help for some, with something and not all of those distractions are going to,

produced great result for my business.

Whereas if I know that there's one thing that I've really

gotta make an improvement on.

If I want to work on, a marketing piece that takes some concentration,

for example, And distractions of, all kinds of requests from different people

are going to deter my ability to focus on the, creating a marketing piece.

So I totally relate that sharing something personal about your own struggles can

really make a big difference in your, the response that you get from people

. Diana Acuna: Can I agree.

Yeah.

The other thing I was thinking about is, I spent a long time in my career

as an employee before I became an entrepreneur in 2006, and as an employee,

I always felt like I needed to be, I need it to be right most of the time.

And that sharing something where I was struggling, was going to impact

my career negatively or impact how my performance was perceived

by supervisors and colleagues.

And I wonder, what you've experienced around the same thing, particularly

since you're still, you are an employee now, as well as an entrepreneur.

Yeah.

great question.

I feel the same way, or at least I felt the same way for a long time that,

showing weakness or showing areas where they were, things that I still needed

to work on or were not my strengths.

I saw that as a risk or threat.

And what I've come to learn is no one is inherently good at everything.

And.

So it's okay to be human.

and I think now, especially in this day and age, people respond so, so

well, and so positively to authenticity and to knowing what your strengths

are and what you're good at and being vulnerable and asking for help.

And I learned that pretty quickly that yeah, sure there may be some

people maybe who want to take advantage and exploit that if there's

something that you're weak at.

But by and large, most people don't.

Most people are good and kind and generous and want to help you.

And for me, I've always found it really beneficial to, to ask for help

and to be vulnerable because that's the only way generally you're going

to get help is if you ask for it.

And I think it's also a really good way to establish trust and rapport with

somebody in going through that kind of exercise and exchange with them.

Yeah.

Now at the same time, when you're about to share something where

it's a personal story or something where you perceive that you may be

struggling and you want some help.

Do you feel that there's a piece of what's going on where you may be, you

reluctant to share it, even though particularly given your experience

and what you've gone through and what you focus on in your, speaking

business, that being vulnerable in the long run is likely to be beneficial.

Yet in the short run before, you're about to say something where you're

sharing something how do you feel?

My immediate reaction in terms of how I feel about

it is probably really nervous.

and I think maybe one other thing to point out to, David in terms of my professional

business still being employed.

And then my speaking business that I'm doing in parallel is I think

part of it's using judgement.

In terms of what to share with whom and who to ask for help for.

So for example, I'm fortunate in the people that I work with and

that I'm employed with, where I've known them for a while.

We have trust and rapport.

And I generally feel very comfortable about being Diana through and through with

them, but that's not always been the case.

So in certain scenarios, I have relied on people that I've formally worked

with or people in my network to ask for help where I, there was a relationship

or there was some trust and credibility built because I felt like that was

safer quite frankly, to solicit help or to solicit some, information to

help me do something in that capacity.

Whereas maybe, I felt like I was still working on building

trust and proving myself.

Maybe if I, was relatively new at a company and I wanted to build

my image and have some quick wins.

Maybe I would get help from somebody else.

So I think it depends.

And I think that's where you have to use judgment in terms of

what you want to share and how much help you want to ask for.

And thinking about all the various resources that you have in terms

of, where you can solicit that from.

Yeah.

So one technique that I'm hearing from you, if you're about to share something

where you're not quite sure how it will be perceived by the person that you're

about to share it with is to, test sharing that same information with somebody

where, you have a strong trusting bond.

Exactly.

And David, if I can just be, perfectly candid with you in the audience.

Just to give a real life example.

My father took his life when I was five years old and that's

not generally something.

I go around telling a lot of people I'm not embarrassed about it anymore.

I was for a long time, but in, in a workplace that's generally not something

that organically comes up in conversation yet over the last two years, in Covid, a

lot of people have been affected by mental health and some things have happened.

And I had a colleague who lost a family member to suicide, and it

was at that point where I felt, appropriate to share with that person,

I've gone through the same thing too.

And so I think, like I said, going back to judgment, I would never, ever

had, have had ever shared my story with anybody that I worked with at that point

in time until that moment happened.

And I made a judgment call to be, vulnerable with him and to

let him know, like, I'm so sorry.

And I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I've

been through something similar.

So I think you're right, David, it's a combination of testing and knowing trust.

And then I think you can also find scenarios with people where you have

things that you can relate to as well.

And then you can use those things to continue to build trust

and rapport with each other.

Yeah.

Are there strategies that you recommend to people to test out these various

scenarios where you're sharing bits of information about yourself with different

people, as you're trying to improve your own emotional intelligence and also

maybe be seen in a slightly different light over, longer period of time?

Yeah, I think that's a great question.

I think that there's two ways I would look at doing it.

One is with people that you already know and trust.

So your friends and family, because it's already safe and you have that existing

connection and relationship and you can talk to them and let them know this

is something that you're working on.

And to the extent that you want to, practice it.

Certainly you can, I've had many conversations with some of my

close friends about exactly this.

And then outside of, conversations with your friends or peers or family, there

are also exercises that you can do as well to practice or learn about yourself

in terms of becoming more self-aware and socially aware of other people as I think

that's the other component to this as well, is you having a good understanding

of who you are and how you communicate.

But then also having starting to have a good understanding of how other people

are and how they communicate is also a very helpful and an objective way.

And when it comes to the communication of this,

Right, yeah.

Can you talk a little bit about some of those exercises?

Yeah, sure.

So a couple, and these are ones that you can do on your own they're

ones that you can do as a team.

They're ones that you could do, with a coach things I've done with people

that I've mentored and even with people that are on my team are through Gallup.

Does CliftonStrength Finders.

Then you can do that as an individual employee or as a manager, which is

a great way to take a survey and ask you some questions about things that

you like and helps you understand what your top five strengths are.

And I like their philosophy on strengths because it focuses on what you're

inherently good at, because you can always be more of what you are, but it's really

hard to be something that you're not.

And then there's another.

A similar type of survey, that's called the DiSC assessment, which I

also like as well, similar to Clifton, but different in that it tells you

what your communication style is.

And then it also helps to inform you of what the communication styles of

others are, which is really helpful.

I think particularly if you're trying to learn how to read a room

or how to resonate with other people and learn the different types of

communication styles of other people.

So those are two very tactical, practical, easy tools that one can do individually.

Or as I said, in, in a team sort of setting,

That's actually really great information, Diana.

And in your own case, what do you find are the, you do well when it

comes to your own competencies and also what it is you love doing.

Empathy.

is, one of my top strengths comes naturally to me.

I think that it has a big part to do with the, nature versus

nurture how I was raised.

And in interestingly enough, as does reading a room, being able

to pay attention to, what people are feeling and, or their, facial

expressions, body language.

And I enjoy that.

So I think that's part of the reason why I've been in sales.

And I enjoy speaking is I like interacting with people.

I have this weird duality, I think of being somewhat of an introvert, but also

really enjoying people in a way where I like to see what makes them tick.

And I think that probably ties back to my strengths and the things that I'm good at.

Sounds great.

And, who do you love serving?

I love serving women in tech, in particular.

I've been fortunate to work, obviously with all kinds of different

professionals, but I have a special place for women probably that

were just like me 20 years ago.

Can you talk a little bit about where you are in your

career and, a little bit about how the employment and entrepreneurship

yeah.

Is working out, going on simultaneously?

Yes.

Great question.

Probably am a little unique compared to maybe some of the other

guests on Smashing the Plateau.

I'm still currently employed full time working in software.

Which I love.

And I've also been in my, started my business a couple years ago.

So I'm doing both, which is quite fun and interesting.

And obviously the goal, at some point is to transition, into

just having my own business.

but for the time being, I'm doing both.

Working in software, managing a team and then, nights and weekends

running the speaking business.

Wow.

Do you have any advice for people that are in your situation being

employed full-time and also wanting to do something as an entrepreneur?

I would say, go for it.

I've found you can do it.

I think it's just a matter of prioritizing what's important

to you and making time to do it.

And while I think at face value, it can seem daunting.

It doesn't have to be, it's just a matter of doing a little something every day.

And I got really good advice when I first decided to do this, which was to

decide to just do something every day.

And so when I first started, I made a commitment to myself to just do

something for 30 minutes every day.

And I, for the most part have done that.

I've there have been some times where I've given myself a break and I've

needed it and I've taken it, but I've never, ever really fully stopped

or felt like I wanted to put it on the shelf or a walk away from it.

And some days that 30 minutes is just staring at a screen or reading an article

to try and research something or get inspired, but it's still doing something.

And that, has led to, me being able to generate revenue already in just having

started this, within less than two years.

Wow.

That's great.

congratulations on everything that you, that you have going on.

What's your grand vision for where you'd love this to go?

I would love this to be a hybrid.

I enjoy speaking as you know, David and I really enjoy coaching and mentoring.

And so my vision for this is that it could be, sort of this trifecta

of online content that's available for people for like self-serve and

learning, also coaching and mentoring, if that's something that they're

interested in more of a one-on-one fashion and then self-serving

for me just because I enjoy it.

It obviously would be the ability to speak as well.

Sounds great.

Diana, I want to thank you so much for taking the time to join us today on

Smashing the Plateau and share a little bit about your own story and where you are

in your career and your business as well.

If someone wants to go deeper with anything we've discussed, learn more

about you access any resources you may have, or get in touch with you, where

would be the best place for them to go?

They can go to my website, dianatalks.com or

they can find me on LinkedIn.

Sounds great.

And we will include those links in the show notes.

My guest today has been the founder of Diana Talks, Diana Acuna.

I want to thank you again, Diana for joining us.

Thanks for having me, David.

When you visit the Smashing the Plateau website

smashingtheplateau.com, you'll find a summary of each episode along with

the links we mention on the show.

On today's episode with Diana Acuna, we learned how improving

your emotional intelligence can help you work toward your goals.

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I'm David Shriner-Cahn.

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