Shownotes
- A traditional and classic definition of “true discipleship”.
- 10 things in your life that may need to be put on the "altar".
- Why leading your family on mission as a way of life needs to start in your heart.
- Practical steps for removing the clutter and idols that keep us from living on mission.
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Download today’s BIG 3 right now. Read and think over them again later. You might even want to share them with others…
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Join us on Facebook and take part in the discussion! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of this page or right below. Also, please subscribe and leave an honest review for The Everyday Disciple Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them. Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Caesar and his wife Tina personally coach and mentor other couples (and teams) in discipleship and missional living. Interested? Go here for more info and to see if coaching is a good fit for you. Caesar’s book: Small is Big, Slow is Fast
Transcripts
Here's another quote, C.
Caesar Kalinowski:S.
Caesar Kalinowski:Lewis.
Caesar Kalinowski:Christ says, Give me all.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much your work.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want you.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't want so much of your money and your stuff and your time as much as I want you, meaning your heart.
Caesar Kalinowski:He goes on, he says, I've not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it.
Caesar Kalinowski:No half measures are any good.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to have the whole tree down and I'll give you a new self instead.
Caesar Kalinowski:In fact, I'll give you myself.
Caesar Kalinowski:My own shall become yours saying This is what Jesus is asking of us.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I I wanna say though, for someone who has died in some ways to this and is still dying to this Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:But has been blessed with this decision, became our family's decision to live a life on mission this way.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:It is the life we created.
Caesar Kalinowski:It is the thrill ride.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like once I, you know, and it creeps in.
Caesar Kalinowski:But once we sort of decided to quit agonizing over like the American dream life and making it our own.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And having to go after it.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then let's wedge in submission.
Caesar Kalinowski:Leading my family in mission as a way of life needs to start in my, that's really what's going on here with these quotes.
Caesar Kalinowski:And God has gone to great lengths to get our attention.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so are we listening?
Heath Hollensbe:Welcome to the Everyday Disciple Podcast, where you'll learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.
Heath Hollensbe:In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle.
Heath Hollensbe:This is the stuff your parents, pastors, and seminary.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey Heath, I usually say good day or good morning, but we're actually carving this up today in the evening.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:We don't do this often.
Caesar Kalinowski:No.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you just, like, you're straight off the pitch, as they say.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sounders game, huh?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Good old Sounders game.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sorry about that loss.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sorry about that loss, bro.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's our season.
Heath Hollensbe:But, uh, good time?
Heath Hollensbe:You had a good time?
Heath Hollensbe:Great time.
Heath Hollensbe:My favorite part, I think, of the day was driving over here.
Heath Hollensbe:I was coming across the bridge, I got the sunroof open, the sun's out, there's water, there's like snow capped mountains across the It is beautiful
Caesar Kalinowski:here.
Heath Hollensbe:It was just amazing.
Heath Hollensbe:What a beautiful day.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah,
Caesar Kalinowski:it's awesome.
Caesar Kalinowski:Pretty exciting stuff today.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Though it's, it sort of sounds like a negative.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, we're going to tell you what's really messing you up, but maybe it's kind of true, but it's the stuff that's super common for all of us when it comes to trying to sustain a lifestyle of
Heath Hollensbe:mission.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, and knowing where we're going, this is a, this is a conversation that I've had with almost everybody who's trying to move into living a more intentional life, this will be beneficial for them.
Heath Hollensbe:It is,
Caesar Kalinowski:it's messy, it's, it's, we start to get our preferences all out of whack,
Heath Hollensbe:you know,
Caesar Kalinowski:right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Old habits kind of get creeping back in on us, all that stuff, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:So, same stuff happens in my world.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:It does, I can, I can feel it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Cause, cause like I've said before on the show, I love me, I love me and my stuff and my priorities and my couch and my shows that are recorded already and yeah, all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:So well, in many ways, all of this is a call, this life on mission as a disciple, you know, disciple living as a lifestyle, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:All of this is in a sense is a call to die to self.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it begins by simplifying your life as God rearranges your priorities and you spend more and more of your time living with God's mission at the center of your life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now that's tough because it is, it's like, it hurts to die, but that's, if we say yes to that, we sort of make that decision.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's kind of over then and then it's like, okay, now I'm looking for God to rearrange my priorities.
Caesar Kalinowski:Check out this, this really awesome quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
Caesar Kalinowski:He says, and I bet some people have heard this, when Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.
Caesar Kalinowski:It may be a death like that of the first disciples who had to leave home and work to follow him, or it may be a death like Luther's who had to leave the monastery and go out into the world, but it is the same death every time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Death in Jesus Christ, the death of the old man at his call.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Not the first great quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
Caesar Kalinowski:No, but you know what's amazing though is how old is this quote?
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't know the date, but it's it's 50, 60 years.
Caesar Kalinowski:At least.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so I'm going like, okay, they were feeling it then.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I know Paul talks about it in scripture, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Paul and all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:So,
Heath Hollensbe:yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:It's hard to read that without feeling a little bit of a sting to it, right?
Heath Hollensbe:Like a little bit of an ouch.
Heath Hollensbe:Is the question, is it, is it ultimately Me, that's the problem that's keeping us from living on mission?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, it's you.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, just purely
Caesar Kalinowski:me.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're the problem and you're the reason why everyone listening right now, and everyone we know is not living like they should on mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:Thanks a lot.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's always my fault.
Caesar Kalinowski:No, uh, no.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, here's another quote.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:I guess I'm in quote mood tonight.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:C.
Caesar Kalinowski:S.
Caesar Kalinowski:Lewis, another fave, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:He says, well actually Christ says, give me all.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want you.
Caesar Kalinowski:So see, it is kind of like I am the problem.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't want so much of your money and your stuff and your time as much as I want you, meaning your heart.
Caesar Kalinowski:And he goes on, he says, I've not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, thanks.
Caesar Kalinowski:Geez.
Caesar Kalinowski:No half measures are any good.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to have the whole tree down.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't want to drill the tooth or crown it, but to have it pulled out.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent, as well as the ones you think wicked, the whole outfit, and I'll give you a new self instead.
Caesar Kalinowski:In fact, I'll give you my self, my own shall become yours.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's Dejic saying this is what Jesus is asking of us.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I want to say though, for someone who has It died in some ways to this and is still dying to this, but has been blessed with, you know, this decision became our family's decision to live a life on mission this way.
Caesar Kalinowski:It is the life we were created.
Caesar Kalinowski:It is the thrill ride.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like once I, you know, and it creeps in, but once we sort of decided to quit agonizing over like, the American dream life and making it our own and having to go after it.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then like, let's wedge in submission.
Caesar Kalinowski:Once we started, like I said, that's, we made that decision, kind of like, you know, we're a Subaru family, we're a Honda family.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's it.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're just buying Hondas.
Caesar Kalinowski:So it just cuts out all the looking.
Caesar Kalinowski:I just go to the Honda dealership every 10 years.
Caesar Kalinowski:And what do you got, you know, but much more, you know, much, this is much more heavy and much more important.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, um, leading my family and mission as a way of life needs to start in my heart.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's really what's going on here with these quotes, and God has gone to great lengths to get our attention, and so, are we listening?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, it's like what we were joking about a few minutes ago, like, we really do like our own preferences and our own priorities, and we like what we like, uh, and that could be time with my family, time with my wife, time with my kids, when I'm not at work, what's going on, what are my priorities, what are my preferences, and often on the show we talk about kind of what the thing behind the thing is that's going on in our heart, when we're loving our preferences more than maybe even the call to living.
Heath Hollensbe:more intentionally.
Heath Hollensbe:What do you think, what do you think the thing behind the thing is in
Caesar Kalinowski:this particular realm?
Caesar Kalinowski:And I'm glad you're asking that, Heath, because it's super important to get to that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Otherwise, in our own self, we just throw up our excuses or like, well, you know, it was hard to, you know, wherever, or people in community we're trying to be in doing life with and leading, leading mission, they just have all theirs.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so if we can't get to the thing behind the thing, what's the real issue?
Caesar Kalinowski:What's the gospel motivation behind it?
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, then we're just shooting all over each other.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that ain't good.
Caesar Kalinowski:So I've learned that old habits.
Caesar Kalinowski:of Schedule and Comfort are really hard to break in everybody.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:When it comes to leading yourself in your own family and mission, you have to look at it more like a weaning off, I think, than the pulling the scab.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, like you can't just go like, yeah, I'm listening to this thing and they're right.
Caesar Kalinowski:and pull the scab out, you know, it's just, it's more of a weaning off, so to speak.
Caesar Kalinowski:So like when our kids turned two, like here's an illustration.
Caesar Kalinowski:When our kids would turn two, my wife and I decided that we just quit buying them new pacifiers.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, we didn't want our kids being those ones with like the red rash around their lips in kindergarten, you know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Funky teeth cause they're grown out.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, um, at two we just quit buying them them.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so when the last one was lost or just got too nasty to use anymore, that was it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, no more binky, you know, or, or goo goo as we called it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, that's just cause they would go goo goo goo.
Caesar Kalinowski:Anyway, um, but, uh, we would wean them off that object that they had come to love so much something they, that had given them great comfort, but it was no longer really good for them.
Caesar Kalinowski:It wasn't their best for them anymore.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, uh, funny story though, a few months after our third child, uh, Justine was born, we call her older sister, Kristen.
Caesar Kalinowski:who was around two and a half years old at this point, hiding behind the couch, just sucking away on her baby sister's new pacifier that she had swiped.
Heath Hollensbe:What a
Caesar Kalinowski:bully.
Caesar Kalinowski:She was like a drug addict getting her fix.
Caesar Kalinowski:Poor thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:She was just back there going to like looking all guilty, you know, because she had found one because it had been months, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So he does with grace, my wife, Tina, she takes her to the grocery store.
Caesar Kalinowski:She lets her pick out one last pacifier of her choosing off the rack of a million.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:And explained to her, this is the last one, honey, this is really it.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, she's, you're a big girl now and so you're going to have to move on.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so I am happy to report that Kristen, who, you know, is now married, has her own son.
Caesar Kalinowski:no longer sucks on the binkies.
Caesar Kalinowski:That we know of.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, so why do I share this?
Caesar Kalinowski:The point is that, that we need to be patient with ourselves and others in this process, this change.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, uh, small is big and slow is fast.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I've written a book called that, but, um, this is especially true for those who were never really discipled or like, I like to say sometimes apprenticed in their faith in community with others.
Caesar Kalinowski:In other words, they kind of got saved.
Caesar Kalinowski:They've been going to church, but they weren't really discipled.
Caesar Kalinowski:how the gospel reaches into all of life and how discipleship becomes lifestyle.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's who we are and what we were called to.
Caesar Kalinowski:So it's, it's, it's really important to go small as big, slow as fast.
Caesar Kalinowski:Then ask God to show you things that you need to die to quote unquote, as well as new attitudes and then rhythms of life that you'll need to embrace.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like he'll show you like, what's next, Lord.
Caesar Kalinowski:We've talked about that on the show and this is an important step, but it doesn't happen overnight.
Caesar Kalinowski:You've got to start by counting the cost of discipleship before.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sort of heading out into open waters.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, check this out.
Caesar Kalinowski:Luke 14 kind of says the thing, same thing, because it says, suppose one of you wants to build a tower, won't you first sit down and estimate the cost, see if you have enough money to complete it?
Caesar Kalinowski:For if you lay the foundation, you're not able to finish it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying this person began to build and wasn't able to finish it.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I'll just knucklehead, you know, So what I'm saying is count the costs here.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't listen to this and go like, yeah, I really should.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is awesome.
Caesar Kalinowski:Kind of shit on yourself and then don't do it or don't pull the scab.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then like, we're making radical changes and you're freaking your wife and kids and neighbors, not people in your small group or your jerk.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or if you're a pastor, like you're mandating.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, the church, we're all doing this.
Caesar Kalinowski:And if you're not, you're kind of bad.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're, there's implications.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're sucking, you know.
Caesar Kalinowski:So why don't we, um, one
Heath Hollensbe:of the things we also like to do here on podcast is get this real practical, right?
Heath Hollensbe:Like take it home on what it looks like from a practical start to start to wean and or pull scabs.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:So let's take the weaning approach.
Heath Hollensbe:Um, let's start talking about some of these practical ways.
Heath Hollensbe:Like what are some things that we might need to address when we're starting out?
Heath Hollensbe:Cause I'm sure there's some that's already popping into our heads, but.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Maybe we could talk through a few of those.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Here, here's some stuff that may need to be, quote, placed on the altar, as it were, you know, use a biblical term, and kind of given back to God for him to reshape.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, in our lives and use as he chooses, all right, so I got quite a list here I don't know if we'll get through them all but I want to talk about them So we kind of wrestle with them a bit So here's one of the things meal times like what time you eat your meals and with who and when you might have to put that On the altar, you know, I was raised where we had dinner like clock work.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Some people are that way Some people are not
Heath Hollensbe:yeah,
Caesar Kalinowski:but Once you start having kids, and school schedules, and bath, and sleeping, and homework, and all that, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Generally, most, most people, You gotta get some sort of rhythm to it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, you gotta get a rhythm to it.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, but what if it doesn't work out?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, what if, because the neighbors you've been praying for, and inviting into life, and mission, and journey with you, They're like, yeah, we get home from work at 7, and you're like, oh, my kids are not, you know.
Caesar Kalinowski:So you might have to put the meal time on the altar at least some of the time and go like, you know what?
Caesar Kalinowski:They'll be okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Kids end up, they end up awake for other things or, but I'm hungry at five, you know, or six or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:I know when we moved to to Manhattan, everything shifted two to two and a half hours later.
Caesar Kalinowski:Everything.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So dinner's like eight or nine.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:No, no, no kidding.
Caesar Kalinowski:You walk around the neighborhood at seven like, man, this is this place going out of business.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's a ghost town, nine 30, packed lying out the door, you know, when they get in.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so when we would start to have people over for happy hour or appetizers or meals.
Caesar Kalinowski:It was so much later getting started first.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're like, I don't think anybody's coming now We could have stuck to our preferences and said well, we're from the Midwest originally, you know We've been living out here a while.
Caesar Kalinowski:But yeah, we eat 630 six.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well never having dinner with anybody in your community, you know So so depending on the reasons mealtimes might be here's another one.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay your budget.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, that's a good one You know our food budget food and wine beer and wine budget, you know and all that Going out even and doing things budget we had to trust God for it And I have friends right now that are, uh, just embarking on some new missional stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:They moved to a new neighborhood and they're all doing that and they're like, some of the things we need to be out, you know, is how often at a cafe or, you know, going to a pub for quiz night and then buying around with our friends, you know, once in a while.
Caesar Kalinowski:We really don't have that in our budget, but we're trusting God for it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or I know they're tightening up certain other areas.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, they just are.
Caesar Kalinowski:Making room for what's important.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, I guess thrift store jeans for another year, you know, or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't know.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it may be, well, I've got plenty of money, but what you do with it and what you prioritize in, like if you want to live as a blessing to others, are you budgeting in like literally weekly or monthly money that you and your family are going like, how can we bless, who can we bless this month with it?
Caesar Kalinowski:Let's keep our eyes peeled and watch God's surprises.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's cool, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, or I'm, we're willing to take vacation money.
Caesar Kalinowski:off the table because this person's electric bill needs paying.
Caesar Kalinowski:So your finances, your budgeting, your planning.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, personal time.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is a huge one, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's probably the biggest one.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Especially for us, like, I mean, I have some friends in Wichita, Kansas, and this one's like, What do you guys do at night?
Heath Hollensbe:Eh, we don't really do anything.
Heath Hollensbe:Here, man, our schedule every single night is slammed from wake up to bedtime, and so it is So if you're not intentional
Caesar Kalinowski:about doing this, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:And
Heath Hollensbe:it's one of those conversations like, Hey, let's do it tomorrow.
Heath Hollensbe:Like we're
Caesar Kalinowski:doing cigars and theology with some pals, and that has to be scheduled in.
Caesar Kalinowski:And there's times when we're just like, I don't want to do that tonight.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:But to serve the community, guess what?
Caesar Kalinowski:But it's a blast, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's part of discipling and it's building relationship.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so it personal time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I'll tell you, you know, I, you know, I don't want our listeners thinking like, well, you know, Caesar and he's got this cracked, you know, this nut's cracked.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, let me just tell you, I fight that still because Because I do travel and teach a lot.
Caesar Kalinowski:When I'm home, I'm like, I'm exhausted and I feel like I'm peopled out and I'm an extrovert, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:And I know right now people are listening to like, Hey, extrovert, introvert.
Caesar Kalinowski:We did an episode on that.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, man.
Heath Hollensbe:That was a breaking the myth of introverts and extroverts back on episode 113.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that's, that sort of deals with personal time, but also personal preference.
Caesar Kalinowski:Absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so I'm an extrovert, but when I get home from the road and training lots of people and talking to everybody in the breaks and all that, I'm kind of beat.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so then I tend to.
Caesar Kalinowski:Go, you know, and I, I'm like, I'm staying home this week.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't want to go out.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to eat home cooked food.
Caesar Kalinowski:If it, you know, whatever it is, if I'm making, you know, Tina makes it, it's great, but still I just want to be home.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, or I I'm home, but now I've been writing, writing podcasts, writing on a new book, working on a course, whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so I feel like I've done all kinds of ministry.
Caesar Kalinowski:I, God, I don't owe God, you know, kind of.
Caesar Kalinowski:So You see, it all comes into play, and I fight it too.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, personal time, you have to decide, like, you know, we, we've said before, like, be a W3 Christian, like, whatever, whenever, wherever.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm always open, because it's part of our identity.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're missionaries, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:What
Heath Hollensbe:about your home?
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, yeah, your home's a big one.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, people say, well, my home's my refuge.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, I see people like, we do our small groups and we do them all at the church building.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or what?
Caesar Kalinowski:Or like, our missional community only meets on Sunday right before church at the church building.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, that's not a missional community because a missional community is a family on mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, I want to say your home is not your refuge, or it shouldn't be.
Caesar Kalinowski:Christ is.
Caesar Kalinowski:And homes are tools and you're going to have to love people more than your home, people more than your stuff, people more than cleanliness.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're going to have to say like, you know what?
Caesar Kalinowski:I got kids and I got dust bunnies and that's the way it goes.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, and so your home's going to have to go on the altar, even where you live.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like how many people do we talk to that goes like, man, this all sounds amazing, but like, we don't have hardly any neighbors around us and it's kind of a bit of a rural thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Everybody drives an hour plus to work at least where I live.
Caesar Kalinowski:We just bought a farm on 1700 acres and you're like, Yeah, or 15 acres.
Caesar Kalinowski:We finally got the land we wanted.
Caesar Kalinowski:So what do you do with all your spare time?
Caesar Kalinowski:Cut grass.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, it's like, okay, wait a minute.
Caesar Kalinowski:If you really are called to make disciples, then that's of people.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, so you might want to choose to live where there's humans.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, like I know that's great.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm not saying it's sinful or wrong.
Caesar Kalinowski:But you might need to put that on the altar.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I can remember sitting in like a really nice house we owned years ago.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we loved it.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it was all the court up.
Caesar Kalinowski:We had it all just so right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the kid's neighbor, it was all their friends.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I remember sitting there thinking how much I loved it.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the spirit was talking to me about this house.
Caesar Kalinowski:He said, would you leave this house for the sake of mission?
Caesar Kalinowski:And I cried that day.
Caesar Kalinowski:Cause I was like, I don't want to.
Caesar Kalinowski:And he's like, I'm not asking you to.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:But if I did, would you, and that was the real question, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:And so where you live needs to.
Caesar Kalinowski:See, so we talked about the title.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is what's really keeping you from mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:Some people where you live is keeping you from mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah Because you're so isolated, you don't know any of the friends, you live nowhere near your church, you know, you drive in 2.
Caesar Kalinowski:6 Sundays, you know, the average American, and you don't really know those people, you kind of make it to a small group that's the closest one to your house on the most functional, easiest night, but you don't barely make that, you know, so, so I would say you gotta put that on the altar, like maybe you should move where there's people and other people want to live on Mission, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:That's a great word, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, where you work, uh, your job, your income level might need to be put.
Caesar Kalinowski:I know people have said like I passed on the promotion because we would have had to move and in fact that sort of Downwardly mobilized me and so instead ahead of this I'm just now part of this and you know what God's meeting all our needs And I'm I we could not leave the neighborhood We couldn't leave all the relationships of discipleship not right now, maybe someday, but not right now God's not calling us away to make those kind of decisions generally take making them in community, by the way.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah You know, praying, asking brothers to pray, asking sisters to pray with you,
Heath Hollensbe:asking for feedback from the group.
Heath Hollensbe:Like, yeah, I think this is good.
Heath Hollensbe:How about one, uh, one of the ones that Kathleen and I really have to deal with is, um, both our bedtimes and the bedtimes of our children.
Heath Hollensbe:Right, like that's another one that was like, no, we'd love to come over, but
Caesar Kalinowski:our kids go to bed at 7.
Caesar Kalinowski:I've had this conversation, people, it's like, I don't know why we can't get this thing started.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, well, because everybody works.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so we're going to have family dinner like when everybody can make family dinner.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, I just, you know, I like to get to bed at nine, nine 30.
Caesar Kalinowski:You, you'll, I'm glad you like to what time you go to work nine.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, so you got plenty of time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, I just like going to bed early.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's a preference.
Caesar Kalinowski:You might have to throw that on the altar,
Heath Hollensbe:you know?
Heath Hollensbe:I noticed you bought some Justin Timberlake concert tickets that the show doesn't even start till 9, and you're cool there, but not with Yeah, I fit
Caesar Kalinowski:it in.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, I worked it out.
Caesar Kalinowski:We'll make it, we'll make it work.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'll just, I'll be tired for it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Dude, you're 32.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, you're gonna make it, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:You're
Heath Hollensbe:gonna live.
Heath Hollensbe:You know, that's a huge one for us, is the bedtime thing.
Heath Hollensbe:And with
Caesar Kalinowski:kids, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, we're doing stuff, well, my kids really need to go down.
Caesar Kalinowski:I get it as a rule.
Caesar Kalinowski:I get it.
Caesar Kalinowski:I totally do.
Caesar Kalinowski:I raise kids.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm raising grandbabies.
Caesar Kalinowski:But, you know.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm over everybody's house and it's like, oh your kids are still up.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, yeah, we let them stay up They wanted to finish the show.
Caesar Kalinowski:Got school tomorrow.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, there is they'll be fine Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:In other words, it works.
Caesar Kalinowski:But, you know, I want to just, I'm going to say the thing behind this thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Is very often, uh, it's, we, we think it's easy.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's easy to hide behind our kids and their schedule and their bedtime, which is really all ours.
Caesar Kalinowski:Cause our kids do exactly what we do.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're supposed to, you know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:We set their life up and we hide behind that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Do we feel like, well, no one will poke me there.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, are you guys going to be doing this with us?
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, or we're all going to be, we're going to be out serving, you know, Saturdays like, and it's not going to work because my kid's da, da, da, da.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's really good.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, like, okay, I get it sometimes, but there again, we're talking about what is keeping you for mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm not poking anybody's sacred, well, probably everybody's, but, but I'm just saying you gotta, you gotta be asking the Spirit in all these things.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:How about, um, what you do on holidays and with, and who you go with and vacations and stuff like that?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah,
Caesar Kalinowski:and here, that's a good one because, like, I have people that I know, and I, I feel this way too, and I, there's even some family traditions that we're looking at going, huh, maybe they should change.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, You know, like, hey, the 4th of July, man, our neighborhood's blowing up and there's always a giant block party.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, you know, we always go to the coast, you know, on the 4th of July.
Caesar Kalinowski:We've done it for years, you know, my sister and her kids go too.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, okay, cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:What about New Year's?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, we always do this.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, do you ever have people over for, you know, to go to New Year's party in your neighborhood?
Caesar Kalinowski:No, we've just always kind of gone to my folks and we pop popcorn.
Caesar Kalinowski:None of us make it to midnight.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right, great.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you realize every single holiday, Might be filled up with not the people you're called to do.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, and there again, it's not about like you shouldn't be with your family or you shouldn't be here.
Caesar Kalinowski:No, my point is Are you choosing a life of mission and what you do with your holidays and with whom, you could be taking the best times right off the table.
Caesar Kalinowski:Exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:Does that make sense?
Caesar Kalinowski:Absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, the first year we moved to this neighborhood, it was already booked and we weren't home for 4th of July or Halloween and it killed me.
Caesar Kalinowski:We said no more.
Caesar Kalinowski:Seriously, no more.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're not traveling.
Caesar Kalinowski:Too much good's happening here.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're just not.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh my gosh.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this last year then?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Holy moly, the relationship building and friends and people then inviting us for other things, you know, the organic and organized we talked about, so we organized that, but then it was organic to, you guys should come and do this and let's go to this game and like, I got an extra, you know, see, so, um, for that one, for sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, um, how many activities your kids are involved in?
Caesar Kalinowski:I just had somebody say this to me the other day, like, dude, we've blown it this season.
Caesar Kalinowski:We, we let all of our kids get into too many sports and band and And Drama, and this one certain Spanish Club or whatever it was, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:And he's like, we blew it.
Caesar Kalinowski:We got to let them all pick one thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, um.
Caesar Kalinowski:Time with extended families and we were talking about the holidays.
Caesar Kalinowski:Same thing with like, I mean, we were talking about like, you know, Fourth of July and other holidays, what about Christmas and all that?
Caesar Kalinowski:And some people say like, you know, I just, I can't make disciples in my neighborhood with you.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'd like to be a part of this missional thing with you guys, but you know what?
Caesar Kalinowski:My mom and dad live across town, or my sister lives across town, and they're not believers yet.
Caesar Kalinowski:I have to give all my time to them.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, that is beautiful, and that's noble, and I'm not saying it's wrong, because I don't know the situations.
Caesar Kalinowski:But I've seen people who will hide behind that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or end up hiding behind it.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm sounding probably really hard right now.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't mean to on the show, but I've seen people say for years, well, we won't be able to do that because of this.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm like, are you spending seven days a week, 24 seven, trying to get your sister saved?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm guessing not.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now is your sister, someone God's called you to make disciples of?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And if so, then get after that.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, you know what you're gonna, you know what's the best way to help your sister understand who God is and who she's been created to be and all that?
Caesar Kalinowski:Is life in community.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, you're not Jesus, so you've shown up at your sister's for Pinochle twice a week or whatever, you know, and I'm just making that up.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't know.
Caesar Kalinowski:But you know what I'm saying?
Caesar Kalinowski:People will know, you know what I'm saying, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I'd say, you gotta love your family.
Caesar Kalinowski:And if you've got family that are far from God or broken from sin or hurting, like, you know, you can get after it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, but don't.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, don't not talk to the Holy Spirit about that, like, you know, um, you know, like things slow with your family can conflict with time in your community and out serving or at, you know, family parties and celebration that your community is doing and you just never make it.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, at least put it on the altar and ask God, is this something you're calling me to transition?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, an access if you're hiding it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Can I throw
Heath Hollensbe:one last one that I'm thinking about?
Heath Hollensbe:is uh, one that's really impactful in my life is just the opinions that other people have of us.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:So like we had some people stop over this morning, we had donuts, we took the kids out, house is a mess.
Heath Hollensbe:And these people we want to impress, I'm like, oh crap.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, four kids, they're gonna be, it's gonna be a mess.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, so there's, you know, like when I'm thinking of like the, having a perfect clean, perfectly clean house.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Do we have enough, uh, uh, a food to serve than what we expect.
Heath Hollensbe:They don't have any good enough.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:I
Caesar Kalinowski:know my wife is a great cook.
Caesar Kalinowski:So people say like, we're never having you guys over and cooking.
Caesar Kalinowski:Why?
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, come on.
Caesar Kalinowski:Look at yeah, Tina and they know we're foodies though.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, well, so what?
Caesar Kalinowski:So, you know for us like we have to put on the altar, like even bringing that up And Tina actually like veils her deity when it comes to cooking and stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:She like intentionally burns stuff so it looks like.
Caesar Kalinowski:She'll just intentionally make normal stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like really normal stuff, you know what I mean?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Dying to the opinions of others, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Perfectly clean house.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, kids that are super perfectly behaved.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, knowing exactly what to say.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like I don't, you know, I want to do the story of God with people, but I don't know what I'm doing.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, listen, suck forward.
Caesar Kalinowski:You'll be okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Trust God.
Caesar Kalinowski:Just if it's worth doing, it's worth doing poorly at first.
Caesar Kalinowski:So much of mission.
Caesar Kalinowski:And this is why, you know, it's a great last one to go with is us.
Caesar Kalinowski:What's keeping us from mission is worrying about what others are going to think of.
Caesar Kalinowski:Our smarts, our house, our talent, how we say it, our kids, you know, fill in the blank.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's fear of man, which is really love of self and not believing what God says is true of us, which is that we're dearly loved kids.
Caesar Kalinowski:We have nothing to earn, nothing to prove, to gain his love and affection, and his opinion is the one that matters.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the truth is, I just want to tell everybody, no one's that picky.
Caesar Kalinowski:If people are coming to your house and they're that worried about everything and how you said exactly this or that or like.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're probably not the ones leaning into mission and discipleship with you.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't worry about that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Give yourself a
Heath Hollensbe:break.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Heath Hollensbe:You know, one of the things I just want to make sure that we clarify, uh, before we end this episode is that we might have some listeners right now be thinking like, well, I guess like self denial and pain are really what this Christian life's about.
Heath Hollensbe:Or even like, you know, Unless I hate what I'm doing and suffer through it all, it must not be from God.
Heath Hollensbe:Or if I enjoy my life, I must be on the wrong track.
Heath Hollensbe:That's not what we're saying at all, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:No, it's not.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I can remember times in my life, Heath, where I've thought like, you know, left or right, this job or that move to this city or this, this house or that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, you know, I felt like God will be loving us more and probably bless our family more if we pick the harder thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's not what we're saying here.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's not what I'm saying.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, but here's what I will say, doing what we love.
Caesar Kalinowski:Regardless of the cost or sacrifice, never feels like a burden.
Caesar Kalinowski:It always feels like a privilege.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm going to say it again.
Caesar Kalinowski:Doing the things we love, regardless of the cost or the sacrifice, never feels like a burden, it always feels like a privilege.
Caesar Kalinowski:So think about raising kids, or if you're training for a sport, you know, or studying for an exam, or you're dieting, or whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:If the object of your, quote, suffering is what or who we love the most, never See then our perspective, perspective on it all, it all changes.
Caesar Kalinowski:Then it's not a burden or sacrifice, but it's something that we get to do out of love.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's a whole different perspective on it.
Caesar Kalinowski:It is.
Caesar Kalinowski:A friend of mine once said, we all do exactly what we want to do every day.
Caesar Kalinowski:So the question is, what do you want the most?
Caesar Kalinowski:What do you love the most?
Caesar Kalinowski:So when, part of We say this is what's keeping us from missions.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't I love my personal time more.
Caesar Kalinowski:I love my home more I love where I live.
Caesar Kalinowski:I love my work.
Caesar Kalinowski:I love the schedule with my kids I love it more than I love God in his glory and I love it more than others coming to know him Sure, if I didn't None of this would feel like a burden like, oh, let's move here, you know, so that's I want to end with that saying You know what?
Caesar Kalinowski:We what we love regardless of the cost or sacrifice never feels like a burden but a privilege.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm So that's good, man.
Heath Hollensbe:What
Caesar Kalinowski:do you like this?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah,
Heath Hollensbe:it's a good question to ask and I think one of these that's standing Like out in the forefront of my mind from this episode is just what those things are that we're hiding behind is Excuses to not really have to do what we know we want to do.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Hey, let's get to the big three Cuz we're at time here.
Heath Hollensbe:Okay, and the big three are the big three takeaways things We want you to walk away with right this very second.
Heath Hollensbe:You can get those for free.
Heath Hollensbe:Just go to everyday disciple comm forward slash big three Caesar, what are
Caesar Kalinowski:the big three for this week?
Caesar Kalinowski:And I, let me just say before I give them to you, uh, when you, when you get those, that download, like he said, it's free, you know, kind of take what I'm saying here, but it's all summarized and it's so you don't have to try to remember it in big three.
Caesar Kalinowski:We also upgrade, we're adding a couple other resources to these every week from now on.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:A couple more things like here's something else.
Caesar Kalinowski:So here's a free download of this.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, here's a book chapter.
Caesar Kalinowski:Here's a free book.
Caesar Kalinowski:Here's a video you might want to watch in light of this topic as well to go deeper.
Caesar Kalinowski:Just resources.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:These are worth it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Free resources.
Caesar Kalinowski:So I just, we're going to start even.
Caesar Kalinowski:building more into the big three for those who want to take it a little further.
Caesar Kalinowski:I love that.
Caesar Kalinowski:So here we go.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right.
Caesar Kalinowski:First of the big three.
Caesar Kalinowski:Remember this takes time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:It takes time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't think of all this like a big pile of things that need to change instantly, but more like adding layers of understanding and growth.
Caesar Kalinowski:As you progress, okay?
Caesar Kalinowski:Let the good news, you know, of Jesus life given for you, let that transform your understanding and priorities, and it will.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is definitely one of those shifts in life that will require extra grace for yourself and for your family and others.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's good.
Caesar Kalinowski:Number two.
Caesar Kalinowski:Number two, um, God created you as His child to live in community on mission with Him.
Caesar Kalinowski:So don't let all this stuff keep you from it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Even though all of this will feel and sound like to others, like you're really swimming against cultural norms and you are, you are, yeah, this is the life you were created to live.
Caesar Kalinowski:It really is all of the good things in life that you've come to love and enjoy.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're giving to you for God's glory.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure, he wants us to enjoy them too, but he does not want us to love the stuff he gives us more than we love him.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's right, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, third one.
Caesar Kalinowski:What are the, I'm just going to ask it.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's kind of the summary of the whole thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:What are the things that you and your family might currently love more than God's glory and his mission?
Caesar Kalinowski:Be honest.
Caesar Kalinowski:Prayerfully write down everything that the Spirit shines a light on in your heart.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, if you, you know, do this, like, really try it as a family.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, try it.
Caesar Kalinowski:From the list that you make then, you know, what things need to be first to go or to be set aside before you can really begin to live with others in community on mission?
Caesar Kalinowski:Or if you're in one, like, what's keeping you from really being all in?
Caesar Kalinowski:So this week, ask the Holy Spirit to guide you into new rhythms.
Caesar Kalinowski:with new motivations.
Caesar Kalinowski:Love that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So I hope those are helpful.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to let people know they can get a lot more of like our story, my story, and how team K and our friends and community all began to kind of work this out along with some pretty detailed outlines and tools and timelines in that book I referenced, you know, earlier, small is big, slow is fast.
Caesar Kalinowski:So I'll be sure to put a link to the book on the site, you know, on the show site.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, you know, for the show notes.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, and everybody can get that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:So not a huge commercial, but it's a good read It's a lot of narrative and you'll see our struggle.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah to get to what we're talking about today.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, absolutely, ma'am.
Heath Hollensbe:Hey We just want to remind you if you want to get a list of the big three for this week as well as all these Extra free resources we've talked about it's free and you just go to everyday disciple comm forward slash big three We'll get those to you right away.
Heath Hollensbe:And we'd like to invite everyone to our Facebook group.
Heath Hollensbe:It's taken off We have fun every single week talking about Some pushback with comments, questions.
Heath Hollensbe:All you need to do to be part of that group is go to Facebook up in the search bar, type in Everyday Disciple Podcast.
Heath Hollensbe:One of us will approve you to the group and you can join the family there.
Heath Hollensbe:Boom.
Heath Hollensbe:Thanks for joining us today.
Heath Hollensbe:For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit EverydayDisciple.
Heath Hollensbe:com and remember, you really can live with the spiritual freedom and relational peace that Jesus promised every day.
