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188: After Cancer Creating Extraordinary Wellness And Joy With Dr. Shani Fox
Episode 1883rd March 2022 • The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller • Dr Brad Miller
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Dr. Shani Fox is a Physician, coach, speaker, and cancer survivor expert.

Cancer survivors can regain control of their health and confidence by working with Dr. Shani Fox. She has helped many cancer patients and survivors overcome their fears of recurrence, rebuild relationships, and make the most of their lives after cancer.

Dr. Shani's positive remarks on survivors' inherent potential to achieve wellness and happiness make her a popular speaker and writer for cancer survivors. As well as co-authoring The Cancer Survivor's Fear First Aid Kit, she has lectured at notable events such as the Annie Appleseed Conference, the Oncology Association of Naturopathic Professionals annual conference, and the Cancer Support Community. She now gladly accepts podcast invites to speak to cancer survivors, their loved ones, and those who serve them.

In her forties, Dr. Shani realized that she was sleepwalking. She was raised in a well-intentioned household. However, Dr. Shani felt like she were the family's black sheep. She was well aware that she was living someone else's life and that if this continued, she would be miserable.

Dr. Shani's father served as an inspiration. She came close to losing him when he was 52 years old due to an accident, but he lived another 28 years. Within those 28 years, her father lived each day as if it were his last, leading an extraordinary life.

The book "Victor Frankel's Man's Search for Meaning" discusses the importance of making good decisions. The act of making a decision and committing to it is tremendously powerful because everything that follows is what is required to get there, and it helps to put things in perspective.

Dr. Shani was up close and personal with pancreatic cancer since her father died of the disease when she decided to become a doctor and experienced the loss of a loved one to the disease. Despite being diagnosed with the disease, she saw that her father fought it and refused to let it limit what he could accomplish, continuing to visit friends and family. It was an inspiration for Dr. Shani to watch.

In this episode, Dr. Shani discusses embracing new beliefs to begin a new chapter in your life. She emphasizes the need to surround oneself with people who value and trust your decisions to go through such a process and recognize that these decisions are crucial to discovering your true self and purpose.

Episode 188 of the Beyond Adversity Podcast is a must-listen for anyone who feels living a different life and feels lost in the process. It's for people who are still searching for their true calling, the true meaning of their lives, and accepting that not everyone you know will take your new beliefs and changes, and it's for those pivotal moments when you can see who genuinely and honestly supports your decision to grow and find inner peace.

"The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller is published weekly with the mission of helping people "Grow Through What They Go Through" as they navigate adversity and discover their promised life of peace, prosperity, and purpose.

Websites: https://drshanifox.com/ 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/DrShaniFox 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drshanifox 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/drshanifox 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cancersurvivordoc/ 

Transcripts

Dr. Brad Miller:

Dr. Brad Miller is here with you today on the beyond adversity podcast. This is where we

Dr. Brad Miller:

try to not try, we do help you to grow through what you go through. And we talked to

Dr. Brad Miller:

folks who have had their own great stories of adversity that they have navigated in

Dr. Brad Miller:

their own life. And then they help you. They help you to navigate situations in your life.

Dr. Brad Miller:

One of the great adversities many folks face is the adversity of health-related issues,

Dr. Brad Miller:

particularly their fearful word of cancer. And we're talking today with a cancer survivor

Dr. Brad Miller:

and a person who helps others to navigate this world and to come into a better place of

Dr. Brad Miller:

joy. Her name is Dr. Shawnee Fox, her book is back in charge your guide to creating

Dr. Brad Miller:

extraordinary wellness and joy after cancer. Dr. Shawnee, welcome to Beyond adversity.

Dr. Shani Fox:

It's a joy to be here.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Awesome. Awesome. Well, thank you for joining us. And you are a naturopathic

Dr. Brad Miller:

physician and a certified life coach and you have your own story about some

Dr. Brad Miller:

challenges in your life that have led you to be helpful to other folks who've had similar

Dr. Brad Miller:

challenges. Let's hear a little bit first, if you don't mind Shani about some of the

Dr. Brad Miller:

challenges you faced in your life and your story. Tell us your story of overcoming

Dr. Brad Miller:

adversity. Well,

Dr. Shani Fox:

what I discovered in my 40s was that I had been living. I'm sleepwalking for the first half

Dr. Shani Fox:

of my life. You know, I was raised in a family that meant very well. But I was kind of a

Dr. Shani Fox:

black sheep. I wasn't like them. And so I was always questioning, you know, what,

Dr. Shani Fox:

whether I could live with what I was being taught. I tried to create a life around that it

Dr. Shani Fox:

wasn't my life at all. And so I got to my 40s and found that I was living somebody else's

Dr. Shani Fox:

life, I was living my parents’ life. And in a bad point, I realized, you know, this isn't going

Dr. Shani Fox:

to last, I'm not happy now. And if I keep going this way, I'm not going to create a life

Dr. Shani Fox:

that I'm proud of. I'm going to have a lot of regrets. Now this hole is precipitated these

Dr. Shani Fox:

thoughts are all precipitated by the about my father passing away around that time.

Dr. Shani Fox:

My father actually was a great role model for me. He when He was 52 years old, he had

Dr. Shani Fox:

been hit by an automobile as a pedestrian. And we nearly lost him he was a coma for a

Dr. Shani Fox:

while. He did come out of that he lived another 28 years. And because he realized the

Dr. Shani Fox:

result of that terrible accident that he that life was precious; that life was fragile. He

Dr. Shani Fox:

really made those 28 years count. And so he lived by his values, he got very clear what

Dr. Shani Fox:

they were. And he lived by his values every single day. And in that case, and in his case,

Dr. Shani Fox:

it was a matter of living spending time with his friends with his family. Most of all, he

Dr. Shani Fox:

simply live that exemplary life in that regard, there was no tension between what he

Dr. Shani Fox:

wanted to be doing and what he was doing. And realizing where I was, you know, at the

Dr. Shani Fox:

time, I was, first of all, in a marriage that had fulfilled its purpose, it was complete. And

Dr. Shani Fox:

yet I was still in it. I was working a corporate position. That was very rewarding

Dr. Shani Fox:

financially. And I was getting ahead, I was doing very well. But I had a sense that I

Dr. Shani Fox:

wasn't helping anybody, nobody really, it didn't really matter to anybody what I was

Dr. Shani Fox:

doing. I was working with paper and with money. And even you know, I was an auditor.

Dr. Shani Fox:

And that's a very honorable profession. But it wasn't satisfying me, it wasn't satisfying

Dr. Shani Fox:

my heart. So bottom line was, you know, all of this was taking a toll on my family, and

Dr. Shani Fox:

myself. And I realized, you know, something's got to change here. Otherwise, I'm simply

Dr. Shani Fox:

not going to be living a life that I can look back on without regret like my father did. So

Dr. Shani Fox:

it was a question of what it took at that point to turn it around. And fortunately, I found

Dr. Shani Fox:

some support, and managed to do that it took an enormous amount of we organizing a

Dr. Shani Fox:

reorganizing of my own thoughts, first of all, of my own vision, second of all, and then

Dr. Shani Fox:

the actual circumstances of my life, but I did come around to a new career, a new

Dr. Shani Fox:

marriage. All the circumstances of my life changed in those next few years. Because I

Dr. Shani Fox:

chose to do it

Dr. Brad Miller:

and choosing to make a change is profound decision to make. And then the

Dr. Brad Miller:

implementation of that is also life changing. And so let's talk about the implementation

Dr. Brad Miller:

of change in your life. You've mentioned first of all, but how old were you when your

Dr. Brad Miller:

father passed? Just give me some context there. Okay, so this is about the same time

Dr. Brad Miller:

you were making all these other transitions as well career and marriage and so on. Let's

Dr. Brad Miller:

talk then in for a minute, Shawnee about what some of the actual actions were that you

Dr. Brad Miller:

took, you know, you made this decision to act. But what then what are some of the

Dr. Brad Miller:

actions that you took?

Dr. Shani Fox:

Well, first of all, the decision is not to be overlooked. The choice itself is so powerful,

Dr. Shani Fox:

because the minute a person makes a choice and commits to that choice, then

Dr. Shani Fox:

anything that you need to do thereafter is simply what I need to do in order to get

Dr. Shani Fox:

there. It puts everything in context. And so because you have a NorthStar to follow, then

Dr. Shani Fox:

the action all lines up, it's all aligned with where you're going. And so even though some

Dr. Shani Fox:

of it is very challenging, you know why you're doing it and I think, who was it? Oh, his

Dr. Shani Fox:

name is escaping right now from World War Two that wrote that amazing book.

Dr. Shani Fox:

Anyway, it's about that man can do anything when he has a why men can do anything

Dr. Shani Fox:

the answer why man's? Yeah. I mean, Victor,

Dr. Brad Miller:

Victor, Frankel's Man's Search for Meaning. Okay, yes. Okay. Okay. I just wasn't

Dr. Brad Miller:

following you for a second there. I apologize for it. But that was certainly a profound

Dr. Brad Miller:

book on my life. It was an assigned, it was assigned to me when I was in college and

Dr. Brad Miller:

was really a seminal part of my, my transitions myself,

Dr. Shani Fox:

yes, a perfect book to start to, you know, survivor of the worst of the worst atrocities of

Dr. Shani Fox:

World War Two, and yet decided that in under any circumstances, he could decide how

Dr. Shani Fox:

to be in

Dr. Brad Miller:

love, you just use your mind. So just a little bit of context, Viktor Frankl was a Holocaust

Dr. Brad Miller:

survivor, who survived by just a complete transformation of the mind to deal with the

Dr. Brad Miller:

physical atrocities that were happening. So this book was important to you. And then so

Dr. Brad Miller:

the decision you made, and then you know, you became a doctor in this process. So you

Dr. Brad Miller:

made some very profound life shifts here, didn't you? Tell me more?

Dr. Shani Fox:

I did. I did. I was in the financial world. And again, it was compensating me very well, I,

Dr. Shani Fox:

you know, I had a perfectly good physician position. And it's a beautiful, it's not that

Dr. Shani Fox:

there's, it's not wrong, where I came from, I was doing very well. And it simply didn't

Dr. Shani Fox:

touch my heart anymore. And so I decided that I was going to make a change there.

Dr. Shani Fox:

And I really wanted to make a direct difference to people. So it was a question of how I

Dr. Shani Fox:

would do that. And that came about because I allowed myself to dream into whatever I

Dr. Shani Fox:

really, really wanted to do. And when I allowed myself permission to do that, I realized

Dr. Shani Fox:

that ever since a very early age, we're talking about like, age five, or six. I had wanted to

Dr. Shani Fox:

be a doctor. And I had along the way, given that up for reasons that basically didn't

Dr. Shani Fox:

make sense anymore. And so in my mid-40s, I decided that is how I'm going to make a

Dr. Shani Fox:

difference for people is I'm going to go back to medical school and become doctor

Dr. Shani Fox:

Well,

Dr. Brad Miller:

I that debt is profound in and of itself, because I don't know about the middle school

Dr. Brad Miller:

you went to, but I know the folks I know that world. It's pretty intense. And it'd be quite

Dr. Brad Miller:

frankly, most people are not in their mid-40s When they go to medical school. So yeah,

Dr. Shani Fox:

that's, that's right. Well, that's why the choice is so important, because you have to be

Dr. Shani Fox:

very committed to your choice. In order to Yes, it was hard. I'm not going to tell you

Dr. Shani Fox:

otherwise it was it was arduous. But that's why we do such things. And so

Dr. Brad Miller:

along the line you just had after your own father's death, you had your own run in with

Dr. Brad Miller:

cancer yourself. Is that as well the case?

Dr. Shani Fox:

No, I did not actually do it. But my father, cancer my father passed away from

Dr. Shani Fox:

pancreatic cancer. And so I was up close and personal with it for those last, you know,

Dr. Shani Fox:

pancreatic cancer, of course, they're usually diagnosed very late. Among

Dr. Brad Miller:

among the worst I've observed. Yes, it's rise already bad.

Dr. Shani Fox:

Yes, yes. I'm sure you have in your position. So yes, pancreatic cancer. So from day of

Dr. Shani Fox:

diagnosis to the day he died, basically three months. That was it. So it was a very quick

Dr. Shani Fox:

journey that he had. They're very severe. And yet as sad as it wasn't as hard as it was, I

Dr. Shani Fox:

learned so many lessons from him both before and after he passed the lessons of his life

Dr. Shani Fox:

that I mentioned before, and also watching him during this time. He simply refused to

Dr. Shani Fox:

give into it as long as he could. And so the first half of those three months, he was still

Dr. Shani Fox:

seeing people, visiting people doing whatever he could. It was just the last six weeks

Dr. Shani Fox:

that finally he had to surrender to the body giveaway, but watching him stand up and

Dr. Shani Fox:

be himself in the face of that disease was a huge inspiration.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And it is incredibly inspiring to when we see folks who at the end of life, give us a gift.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Some of some folks that do I've been privileged to be in that position. Shawn a couple

Dr. Brad Miller:

of times. I'll just really one quick story about a gentleman who was I was his pastor and

Dr. Brad Miller:

he Got liver cancer. And it was only six, eight weeks from time he was diagnosed, he

Dr. Brad Miller:

passed away. And he haven't be a judge of the community send people to jail and all

Dr. Brad Miller:

kinds of political stuff. And he called in over 100 people to his bedside to make amends

Dr. Brad Miller:

one way or another, you know, you know, sometimes if you just have a conversation,

Dr. Brad Miller:

sometimes it was an apology, sometimes it was even some sort of business matter. But

Dr. Brad Miller:

he made things right. And that would have made a huge impact on me and many

Dr. Brad Miller:

others. And that so my point is, people can give us a gift even at that moment, can't

Dr. Brad Miller:

they?

Dr. Shani Fox:

Absolutely, that's a very Yes, it is. And

Dr. Brad Miller:

you have your inspiring story with your, with your father, and you work with folks where

Dr. Brad Miller:

you are, have been inspiring to them and hear many inspiring stories. But we deal with

Dr. Brad Miller:

folks dealing with these tremendously powerful things cancer, death, life, death,

Dr. Brad Miller:

transitions, career and so on. We deal not only with the actions that we take, and you

Dr. Brad Miller:

know that you mentioned about how you just couldn't see yourself continuing in the

Dr. Brad Miller:

financial field, it just had to change, you know, if it didn't change, who knows? But it

Dr. Brad Miller:

would not it would many people get stuck or golf to a dark place. But I'm interested in

Dr. Brad Miller:

for just a few minutes Shani about how you then dealt with kind of this inner life part of

Dr. Brad Miller:

this kind of the, the mental, emotional, spiritual type of thing, what, you know, we kind

Dr. Brad Miller:

of have this factor that the death or the disease of death of your father was kind of an

Dr. Brad Miller:

outer stimulus. But what happened on the inside? What were some things happening

Dr. Brad Miller:

there? What were some of the processes that were playing your life in terms of this

Dr. Brad Miller:

inner life?

Dr. Shani Fox:

Well, the first thing I had to do really was find support, because clearly, the way I had

Dr. Shani Fox:

been thinking up until then was not getting me the results that I wanted. And so I had to

Dr. Shani Fox:

deal with being willing to look at beliefs that I've been holding, that weren't serving me

Dr. Shani Fox:

anymore, that I needed to change. And this is a challenging, challenging process. It's

Dr. Shani Fox:

ultimately a very fulfilling process, because the new beliefs that you take on are ones

Dr. Shani Fox:

that are in line with who you want to be and with your values and just with your soul's

Dr. Shani Fox:

direction, so that ultimately, it's a place of great peace. But getting there is very

Dr. Shani Fox:

challenging. Number one, we have to even find out what it is we need to be doing what

Dr. Shani Fox:

we need to be thinking. So we bring in people with a higher perspective, this could be

Dr. Shani Fox:

coaches, this could be a therapist, this could be their various programs, the very first

Dr. Shani Fox:

thing that I went to was a weekend long program, which, together with many other

Dr. Shani Fox:

people who are doing the same thing, I got to do some looking at the beliefs I was

Dr. Shani Fox:

holding, and some that I could possibly replace them with, which was a wonderful

Dr. Shani Fox:

weekend, I still have friends from that weekend, and this is about 20 years ago. So

Dr. Shani Fox:

support is is huge along this road, is having somebody who can guide you along who

Dr. Shani Fox:

can see what you can't yet see. And then it's a matter of learning to live into those

Dr. Shani Fox:

beliefs. Now, on our own, we might be able to do this, again, that vision is a great

Dr. Shani Fox:

motivator. But the challenging part is that it's producing changes in us and the people

Dr. Shani Fox:

around us are not accustomed to those changes. And so people, even people who loves

Dr. Shani Fox:

us can start to say, Whoa, what's going on here, because she's changing now a lot of us

Dr. Shani Fox:

in a positive direction. And they may end up being very inspired. But it depends, you

Dr. Shani Fox:

know, different people react differently. And so there's going to be in any journey like

Dr. Shani Fox:

this, there are some things you will take along with you from your previous life, if you

Dr. Shani Fox:

will, and some things you will have to leave behind. And that is also true for the people

Dr. Shani Fox:

that surround you, you will find out very quickly, who really loves you and who believes

Dr. Shani Fox:

in you. And those people come forward with you. And they are willing to even if there

Dr. Shani Fox:

are changes taking place. And there's some people who are feeling unsafe because you

Dr. Shani Fox:

are changing, and they can't at this time accompany you. So there's some greater

Dr. Shani Fox:

bonding that takes place. And there's some separation that takes place. This is a very

Dr. Shani Fox:

challenging process, I call that the and we have to be willing to do it if we're going to

Dr. Shani Fox:

grow into our school, the

Dr. Brad Miller:

folks who kind of want to keep us in this status quo area, call it the kind of the concept

Dr. Brad Miller:

of the malaise of mediocrity, where we just kind of stay in a comfortable place where

Dr. Brad Miller:

we're kind of stuck there. It's a malaise. In order to break out of that you have to really,

Dr. Brad Miller:

really, really focus to break out of it. And also, with the actions you take, but also so

Dr. Brad Miller:

important is that support is that new dynamic of helpful relationships. And so let's go

Dr. Brad Miller:

there for a second a little deeper on the relationship aspects of this because that goes

Dr. Brad Miller:

to our emotions, you know, to tell us more about how that worked. Was that like

Dr. Brad Miller:

accountability groups, was that like a teacher or mentor in your educational process?

Dr. Brad Miller:

Was it maybe you know, books, tapes, this type of thing? Tell us, maybe it was just a

Dr. Brad Miller:

friend or maybe, you know, you said your new marriage and so on, spouse, whatever it

Dr. Brad Miller:

is, tell us more about how that actually worked played out this emotional connection

Dr. Brad Miller:

with other people to help transform you, and that you share that with others now.

Dr. Shani Fox:

Yeah, and of the possibilities you mentioned, it was it was all of the above at different

Dr. Shani Fox:

times, you know, sometimes it was in groups, sometimes it was being coached

Dr. Shani Fox:

individually. There have been many, many, many books and recordings that I've listened

Dr. Shani Fox:

to over this period of time. So there's lots and lots of places that are great resources for

Dr. Shani Fox:

this. But I would have to say that at some point, the books and the tapes, or CDs,

Dr. Shani Fox:

whatever we call them, now, these have a limited value. In other words, there, there is

Dr. Shani Fox:

something about learning this in interaction with other people, that it cannot be

Dr. Shani Fox:

replaced by information, even though the information is wonderful. So at some point,

Dr. Shani Fox:

you have to get with other people. And really, I think the fastest way to realize our

Dr. Shani Fox:

vision is to surround ourselves with people who believe in us who are willing to hold that

Dr. Shani Fox:

vision with us, and particularly the ones who are willing to hold that vision on the days,

Dr. Shani Fox:

we just are ready to give up and say too much. We have to have people out there who

Dr. Shani Fox:

really believe in us. And so you have to find those relationships. Some of them will come

Dr. Shani Fox:

from the people, you know, already. And some of them will be new people in your

Dr. Shani Fox:

sphere. And that's absolutely wonderful. There's no, I mean, this is a wonderful basis for

Dr. Shani Fox:

a relationship when you're holding each other's vision and helping each other to climb

Dr. Shani Fox:

this ladder, out of the malaise and into the zone of some people call it the zone of

Dr. Shani Fox:

genius. You know, that may sound like an exaggeration, but it means that we are at a

Dr. Shani Fox:

place where our soul is alive, where it's constantly learning and growing.

Dr. Brad Miller:

I've read that so genius and familiar with that term. Yes.

Dr. Shani Fox:

Isn't that wonderful? So yeah, so we have to find those people. And there will be others,

Dr. Shani Fox:

it doesn't mean they have to leave your life entirely. But that means we just may have a

Dr. Shani Fox:

different relationship than we've had with them up until now, we may have just a more,

Dr. Shani Fox:

you know, acquaintance ship or just you know, we get together we do fun things, but

Dr. Shani Fox:

they've been a big part of the circle with which we talk.

Dr. Brad Miller:

If you've got going on for us, so we have different tracking. One way if you're on the

Dr. Brad Miller:

Malays part is to use that analogy. You're tracking one way and you you mentioned the

Dr. Brad Miller:

tracking you had and your former career and so on, so forth, and your former marriage

Dr. Brad Miller:

and so on. But you're tracking a new way, now you're tracking a new way. And therefore

Dr. Brad Miller:

you track you travel then with new traveling partners in this process? And that's, and

Dr. Brad Miller:

that can be just, you know, it has its challenges, of course, but certainly, you're going on

Dr. Brad Miller:

this journey together. You know, it's a pilgrimage and away I went terminology for it.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Exactly. That's a good, that's a great thing. But don't long this pilgrimage. Shawnee, we

Dr. Brad Miller:

have to then implement I call it the cognitive park, you know, how do we develop new

Dr. Brad Miller:

habits or new processes, because it is new, as you mentioned, you know, you're used to

Dr. Brad Miller:

one thing, you're used to a certain level of income that's kind of steady, you're used to

Dr. Brad Miller:

certain relationships that are expected. But now you're doing new stuff, which means

Dr. Brad Miller:

new habits, new processes, new, new ways of doing things. So tell us some of the things

Dr. Brad Miller:

that you've done in your life that had been helpful to you some new habits or processes

Dr. Brad Miller:

or things that you've done, kind of as a hobby, and you love to make as a party

Dr. Brad Miller:

integrate as a part of your life.

Dr. Shani Fox:

Well integrate is really the key word here. Because again, the information is only so

Dr. Shani Fox:

helpful. But until we start living it, it's not really us, we're not really producing the results

Dr. Shani Fox:

that we're going to get, would that we'd like to get. So integration is key. And what does

Dr. Shani Fox:

that mean? It means that every day, I'm doing things that align with this new path that

Dr. Shani Fox:

I'm on. So I began to be, I began to really notice, when I'm frustrated, when I'm not

Dr. Shani Fox:

getting the results that I want. I have to take responsibility for that and say, wait a

Dr. Shani Fox:

second here, that's a good signal that something's needs to be looked at. Now I have to

Dr. Shani Fox:

take responsibility for and say, okay, if I'm not happy with the way it's going now, what

Dr. Shani Fox:

do I have the power to do in this moment, to start this morning with a trajectory to

Dr. Shani Fox:

change it up. So it becomes a real noticing of the way you're living your life without

Dr. Shani Fox:

judgment. without judgment, you don't want to beat yourself up in the process. And

Dr. Shani Fox:

that's another skill which is essential to develop along this route. You have to be

Dr. Shani Fox:

compassionate with yourself. But you've done the best you can so far and you're

Dr. Shani Fox:

making changes so each time you come across something which is not serving and

Dr. Shani Fox:

you're you getting the sense that this isn't this is just isn't aligned with where I want to

Dr. Shani Fox:

go. But I have to look at it and and start to revise it

Dr. Brad Miller:

where a lot of folks who are in the no pathway, they kind of hang on to those things just

Dr. Brad Miller:

because he was comfortable. And you're saying Say goodbye to so yes, things start

Dr. Brad Miller:

these new pathways, but so I'm sorry I interrupted you and I apologize, so please

Dr. Brad Miller:

continue.

Dr. Shani Fox:

No That's quite okay. I know that you mentioned the word comfort a few times, yeah,

Dr. Shani Fox:

this is not the most comfortable path, but it is the most rewarding path for sure. So if

Dr. Shani Fox:

comfort is the highest of your values, maybe this isn't the path for you. But if you're

Dr. Shani Fox:

willing to let comfort, go aside for a little while in order to feel a greater peace in the

Dr. Shani Fox:

end. And, like you say, grow through it. What comes out is enormously

Dr. Shani Fox:

rewarding. You know, we can start with what I when I talk about new habits and

Dr. Shani Fox:

patterns, you know, one of the ways we start and this is I do this with the people I work

Dr. Shani Fox:

with as well isn't just simply notice how your speaking notice your own conversation.

Dr. Shani Fox:

Notice, for example, if you have a tendency to gossip is that serving who's that serving?

Dr. Shani Fox:

doesn't serve anybody. And so we have to say, Okay, wait a minute, that's one of my

Dr. Shani Fox:

old habits up until now I talked that way. I chose not to do that anymore. I choose not

Dr. Shani Fox:

to do it anymore. And if somebody else gossips in my direction, saying, you know, thank

Dr. Shani Fox:

you, but I'm going to choose to lift let's talk about something else. Lift, let's not go

Dr. Shani Fox:

there. But just being willing to put stop. And then substituting learning to put in instead,

Dr. Shani Fox:

things that serve. So finding, learning to find what's beautiful about people, and not the

Dr. Shani Fox:

things that bother you about them.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And you could use the same thinking towards other aspects of our life, like comparison,

Dr. Brad Miller:

or guilt or regret, you know, we certainly can do those type of things, or we're just, you

Dr. Brad Miller:

know, turn it on a different tape, you know, different deal. And when, you know, we

Dr. Brad Miller:

heard it, we've heard the phrase hurt people hurt people. But when that starts to

Dr. Brad Miller:

happen, we do not have to participate in the pain making, or the pain sharing, or

Dr. Brad Miller:

whatever it is. To be. So that's right. And that's part. That's awesome. So part of what

Dr. Brad Miller:

you've done that,

Dr. Shani Fox:

we also want to watch the conversations,

Dr. Brad Miller:

no partner could finish your thought, and I want to take a different direction after that

Dr. Brad Miller:

are a little deeper direction. But you see, we have to wash our hands. So

Dr. Shani Fox:

yeah, yeah, the most important thing in all of this is the conversation you're having with

Dr. Shani Fox:

yourself. And so among other things, we don't you know, we want to watch what you

Dr. Shani Fox:

say to other people, we also want to watch what we're saying internally. And so if we're

Dr. Shani Fox:

beating on ourselves, you know, oh, I'll never get this right. Oh, I just don't seem to have

Dr. Shani Fox:

talent for this, then we have to watch that too. And that's a very important

Dr. Shani Fox:

conversation. So when we catch ourselves doing that, we say, Stop, oh, wait a minute. I

Dr. Shani Fox:

don't think like that anymore. I may not have done this up until now. But I'm trying and I

Dr. Shani Fox:

get credit for that. So

Dr. Brad Miller:

in that process, do you have any kind of ongoing self-affirmation or statement, a

Dr. Brad Miller:

mission statement, or neural neuro linguistic programming process, anything on that

Dr. Brad Miller:

line that you use to help to set those states for yourself that new,

Dr. Shani Fox:

you're new, I have used affirmations before I remember in early on in this process, I

Dr. Shani Fox:

would tell myself over and over and over again, I'm a beautiful and compassionate

Dr. Shani Fox:

woman who deserves to be happy. And, you know, that will look different, that

Dr. Shani Fox:

affirmation will look different for anybody that goes through this process, but I can still

Dr. Shani Fox:

say that 20 years later, easily and in the mirror, because I learned to, to align

Dr. Shani Fox:

with it, it became me,

Dr. Brad Miller:

well, that that is awesome. And you are part of that process and of the affirmations is to

Dr. Brad Miller:

repeat that or and then repeat enough to you believe it because some people have to,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you know, have break the old patterns in order to even have a place of belief in it. And

Dr. Brad Miller:

so night,

Dr. Shani Fox:

and I say you believe it when you say it in the mirror, and you can do it. Yeah, and smile,

Dr. Shani Fox:

and not

Dr. Brad Miller:

and not. And sometimes will people will, you know, I've done this occasionally Will you

Dr. Brad Miller:

say something in the mirror, because you think you ought to and you under your breath

Dr. Brad Miller:

is saying, oh boy, what a jerk, you know, whatever it is, you know, for even saying that

Dr. Brad Miller:

kind of stuff. But then you got to keep doing it again, you've got to keep going back to

Dr. Brad Miller:

it. That's what I mean by habits and ritual. And part of what I put, I believe in is you got

Dr. Brad Miller:

to do things multiple times, kind of, you know, out of, you know, out of willpower initially,

Dr. Brad Miller:

in order then to build the habit, you know, I believe it takes kind of use a biblical

Dr. Brad Miller:

metaphor, 40 days, it takes 40 days to kind of ingrain some sort of a new pattern in, in

Dr. Brad Miller:

your in your life. And, and I, I see you being now helpful Shani to other people in this

Dr. Brad Miller:

who are going through similar pain and life transitions that you have gone through, and

Dr. Brad Miller:

let's go there for a minute or two now, because you obviously are a passionate,

Dr. Brad Miller:

engaged woman who has made these decisions for yourself. You took some actions,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you are no longer to be satisfied with those old patterns. You've took some dramatic

Dr. Brad Miller:

actions, you became a doctor in your 40s That is so awesome. I, you know, I know at

Dr. Brad Miller:

least one person who had a similar track and what a challenge and you've made these

Dr. Brad Miller:

changes yourself and now you're compassionate enough and loving enough to want to

Dr. Brad Miller:

share it with other people. So tell us how you do that. Tell us what you had tell us

Dr. Brad Miller:

about your book, it's called back in charge your guide for creating extraordinary

Dr. Brad Miller:

wellness and joy after cancer. And you have several other programs, that's over other

Dr. Brad Miller:

things people could find at your website and what you're about. What do you offer

Dr. Brad Miller:

people? Let's talk a little bit what now you're sharing your gift to the world.

Dr. Shani Fox:

When I went to medical school, about halfway through medical school, I found myself

Dr. Shani Fox:

very inspired by a presentation by a doctor, a practicing doctor at the time, who

Dr. Shani Fox:

brought in with him, several people who are going through cancer treatment. And I

Dr. Shani Fox:

realized, you know, I was I was inspired to tears by this presentation, actually. And after

Dr. Shani Fox:

it was over, I remember, I didn't go to my next class right away, I went to a stairwell and

Dr. Shani Fox:

sat with it and said, What was so inspiring about that? To me, what, what is it that, um,

Dr. Shani Fox:

that just touched my heart saw about that. And I realized that cancer patients, you

Dr. Shani Fox:

know, with the aggressiveness of treatments, etc., and all the circumstances around it,

Dr. Shani Fox:

you know, the shotgun, you know, of all the people around them, etc., they're dealing

Dr. Shani Fox:

with so much. And they find themselves at their most vulnerable place, probably in their

Dr. Shani Fox:

entire life. And all they want is these people that I watched that that day, all they

Dr. Shani Fox:

wanted was to rebuild, to a place of good health, of course, but also happiness, they

Dr. Shani Fox:

were willing at that point to do just what it took to come back to the place where

Dr. Shani Fox:

they could live healthy and happy again. And I realized, wow, what an amazing place to

Dr. Shani Fox:

work with people who have been brought low through none of their own fault. But there

Dr. Shani Fox:

they are physically weak, emotionally overwhelmed. And yet, there's such a drive in

Dr. Shani Fox:

them to just come back better, as they say, you know, just build the best than they

Dr. Shani Fox:

could be afterwards. And so I realized, that's a beautiful, beautiful place to work with

Dr. Shani Fox:

people who are so motivated. And so I there, then pointed all the rest of my training at

Dr. Shani Fox:

working with cancer patients and survivors. And when I actually went out into practice,

Dr. Shani Fox:

that is, in fact, what the universe brought me about half my patients were cancer

Dr. Shani Fox:

patients and survivors. And I began to work with them with holistic medicine, which is

Dr. Shani Fox:

wonderful, it helps people recover beautifully, because the system that the conventional

Dr. Shani Fox:

system does treatment very well ever better, but doesn't really address recovery. And so

Dr. Shani Fox:

that's what holistic Fisher physicians do, we get people's wellbeing back. So they're

Dr. Shani Fox:

feeling well again. So I was able to do that with them. And that felt really good. But in

Dr. Shani Fox:

the process, I realized how much they were dealing with in the emotional and spiritual

Dr. Shani Fox:

sphere. And that that was at least a significant part of this journey, as the physical part.

Dr. Shani Fox:

And so I got very interested in that and eventually trained myself through a life

Dr. Shani Fox:

coaching program that I certified and began to work with that part more and more,

Dr. Shani Fox:

because they weren't, they weren't finding resolution to that. And over time I, that

Dr. Shani Fox:

became the sole focus of my practice is, what does it take for cancer survivor to get

Dr. Shani Fox:

beyond the fears of the cancer recurring, for example, to deal with the people around

Dr. Shani Fox:

them who say, Oh, well, treatments done, so you're all back to normal, right? And they

Dr. Shani Fox:

know things aren't normal, and all these things that they have to deal with, that are

Dr. Shani Fox:

simply not fully recognized, and that are very difficult for them to deal with. So I help

Dr. Shani Fox:

them through this particular and unique set of challenges, until they feel like they're

Dr. Shani Fox:

back on their own steam and back in charge of their lives,

Dr. Brad Miller:

which is those the process that you create a guide and I know it's we've got a workbook

Dr. Brad Miller:

and some other things here for creating extraordinary wellness and joy after cancer.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And I've, I just share with you, you know that I've dealt with that myself, on many

Dr. Brad Miller:

occasions at my ministry, my 40 years of ministry in churches and my own life, my

Dr. Brad Miller:

father died of cancer and just our conversations very apropos in my life, actually,

Dr. Brad Miller:

because I just got a call just two days ago that when a family member or another family

Dr. Brad Miller:

member of mine is has was diagnosed with a malignancy. And so now I'm trying to

Dr. Brad Miller:

figure out how am I going to be helpful and supportive? They're so awesome. I thank

Dr. Brad Miller:

you for sharing all this. But what are people going to? You know, if people go to your

Dr. Brad Miller:

book, or go to your website? What are they going to find there that they can apply to

Dr. Brad Miller:

their life? And what's maybe something specific its they can do there?

Dr. Shani Fox:

Well, one of the primary ways that people find me is because they're dealing with

Dr. Shani Fox:

recurring fear. You know, this is actually very, very common. There's actually research

Dr. Shani Fox:

that demonstrates that about 70% See it seven 0% of survivors deal with intimate into

Dr. Shani Fox:

persistent fear about recurrence of their cancer. And so a lot of them will find me

Dr. Shani Fox:

because they're living in fear and they know it and they realize it's impacting their life.

Dr. Shani Fox:

They can't even live their lives fully. And yet, they and they want to, but they find

Dr. Shani Fox:

themselves unable to overcome the fear. So I have one resource that's available

Dr. Shani Fox:

through my website. directly on Amazon, which is called the cancer survivors fear first

Dr. Shani Fox:

aid kit. And that's a multimedia kit, which helps through a short book, but also guided

Dr. Shani Fox:

meditations and workbook to help people develop the new habits of thought, as we

Dr. Shani Fox:

were talking about that will help them get past their fear that's their portal to a new life

Dr. Shani Fox:

is seeing that there's more out there than their fear that fear is, we can't erase it. But we

Dr. Shani Fox:

can let it take its proper place, which is a cleaner place

Dr. Brad Miller:

perspective. Because that phrase from that phrase, us often frozen in fear is a reality for

Dr. Brad Miller:

some folks, I've seen it and experience it. But one more thing I want to ask you about

Dr. Brad Miller:

and that and then we'll let you go is has to do with people you've worked with, let's I'd

Dr. Brad Miller:

love to hear a story about somebody or some situation you've worked with where you

Dr. Brad Miller:

have just seen, okay, this person had the fear this person was frozen, this person was in

Dr. Brad Miller:

a bad place. And after some of the work you did with them, they came to a better place

Dr. Brad Miller:

of place of wellness and joy. And you just share us share with us a story.

Dr. Shani Fox:

I certainly can. I had a woman come to me a survivor of liver cancer. name is Cindy.

Dr. Shani Fox:

And Cindy basically had shut down her life. For about three years before she had seen

Dr. Shani Fox:

me. She was actually doing fine physically, pretty much. She was no luck. She was

Dr. Shani Fox:

cancer free at the time that I saw her. But she had she was so fearful of recurrence of

Dr. Shani Fox:

liver cancer, which is a cancer that does recur in fear proportion. She was so concerned

Dr. Shani Fox:

about it that she was simply not going out anymore. She was staying within our four

Dr. Shani Fox:

walls of her house and dealing with the sphere. Turns out Cindy was an artist, a sculptor,

Dr. Shani Fox:

and also a photographer. And one of her greatest pleasures used to be that she would

Dr. Shani Fox:

go out in Eastern Oregon, we have herds of wild horses that roam around the quite

Dr. Shani Fox:

beautiful, as is the land out there. And she used to take her camera out there and

Dr. Shani Fox:

photographed those wild horses. That was one of her passions. She hadn't done it for

Dr. Shani Fox:

years. So once we got her physical program going, we talked about this. And in a series,

Dr. Shani Fox:

she had actually entered a group program that had going at the time. And about six

Dr. Shani Fox:

weeks in she said next week, I'm going to miss the group program, but I'll see the

Dr. Shani Fox:

following week. And when she came back, she had been out to Eastern Oregon, she

Dr. Shani Fox:

took her camera at Eastern Oregon again. And she was a different person for just

Dr. Shani Fox:

allowing herself to get back into life to do the thing that enlivened her so about a

Dr. Shani Fox:

month after that, she decided she would go back out to Eastern Oregon again. And this

Dr. Shani Fox:

time she went out when she got to the place that he usually would get out of the car

Dr. Shani Fox:

and go in search of the herd. She noticed there were cones across the road, such a

Dr. Shani Fox:

different camera, she walked in there. And when she got farther back, she found that

Dr. Shani Fox:

there was a film crew back there. And they were filming these wild mustangs, because

Dr. Shani Fox:

they were concerned with their preservation. And when they heard that Cindy had such

Dr. Shani Fox:

a huge archive of photographs of these Mustangs, they actually invited her to join in

Dr. Shani Fox:

their efforts, which she did. And now the thing that was just a love of hers has now

Dr. Shani Fox:

become a passion of hers and a cause that she is involved in. And so she got her life

Dr. Shani Fox:

back by giving yourself permission again, to not be controlled by the fear and to go

Dr. Shani Fox:

ahead and live even if the fear has to accompany her kind of in the background. She

Dr. Shani Fox:

was when she got that and so I took this Oh, that

Dr. Brad Miller:

is awesome. She experienced extraordinary joy and that that's great. So, so

Dr. Brad Miller:

Shawnee how if folks want to be connected with you tell us what your website is or any

Dr. Brad Miller:

other ways folks can be connected with you if they want to reach out to you?

Dr. Shani Fox:

Absolutely, my website is www Dr. Shani fox.com. So Dr. S H A and ifox.com I have my

Dr. Shani Fox:

blog there I have the portal to my Facebook group there. It's a private Facebook group

Dr. Shani Fox:

for women survivors of cancer called Women rising young cancer. And of course, you

Dr. Shani Fox:

can purchase the book if you wish via the website as well. I also invite anybody who is in

Dr. Shani Fox:

during fear right now it feels like their life isn't what it could be be on cancer. There's an

Dr. Shani Fox:

opportunity on my website to sign up for a complimentary conversation with me we will

Dr. Shani Fox:

look at where you are and where you'd love to be and point you in that direction. And

Dr. Shani Fox:

so I invite you to take advantage of that gift. Well,

Dr. Brad Miller:

we'll connect up folks with all of these all the websites, this one that you mentioned at

Dr. Brad Miller:

our website, Dr. Brad miller.com you for providing a great gift to the world and it is a

Dr. Brad Miller:

need. I know that for my own personal experiences for people to have some tools or

Dr. Brad Miller:

processes are ways to deal with, with extraordinary drama of cancer and other things

Dr. Brad Miller:

and you're given us a gift and we appreciate you, Dr. Shawn knee Fox, the author of

Dr. Brad Miller:

back in charge your guide to creating extraordinary wellness and joy after cancer. We

Dr. Brad Miller:

thank you for being our guest today on the beyond diversity podcast.

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