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179: Feeling Invisible to Crushing Life with Confidence and Visibility Inspiring Story with Michelle Kuei
30th December 2021 • The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller • Dr Brad Miller
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Michelle Kuei is Dr. Brad Miller's guest on Episode 179 of "The Beyond Adversity Podcast." Aside from being a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index and a Certified Career Coach who employs proprietary tools to assist clients in uncovering and identifying blind spots in their professional and personal lives, she is a pharmacist who runs the elevate life coaching.org coaching program. Her coaching approach is solely based on educating women on becoming more confident and empowered, which will keep them on track to achieve their goals.

Born in Taiwan, Michelle had a terrible accident, which forced her to go in and out of the operating room. The doctor issued metal shoes and crutches until she turned 18 when her bones would be more structurally solid.

Because she was a rebellious adolescent, she refused to follow the doctor's advice and regularly removed the equipment, forcing herself to walk independently. Every year it became more difficult for her to walk great distances, so she required help from someone, and that someone was her mother. It got to the point that her mother had to accompany her to job interviews. She has been on crutches for the past 47 years.

Michelle got deeply wounded, not just physically but emotionally. As a result of the accident, she got enraged, oblivious to other people's pain and uncaring to their feelings, struggled with self-esteem as she approached puberty because she wasn't like the other females her age. She felt confused and unsure of her place in the world.

Michelle understood that, even if life was difficult for her due to her condition, she had two choices: have her life cut short or find a way to shift her perspective and conquer all of the issues she was encountering. Michelle discussed how she overcame an injury that had caused her so much pain and hatred in her life.

She discusses what she almost did, such as terminating her life and how those experiences changed her life. She talked about how she gained confidence in her skin. She wants to help women become more self-aware and self-loving as a coach and authors so they can go out into the world and claim their place.

Michelle emphasizes that physical is not restricted and that we may live our lives despite our limited physical mobility by asking ourselves what our purpose is. It necessitates knowledge of oneself, and it requires us to comprehend our inner reality and think beyond our physique.

Episode 179 of The Beyond Adversity Podcast is a must-listen for anyone who wants to hear an inspirational story about a woman who succeeded despite her limited physical mobility. Michelle Kuei's story is inspiring, empowering, and significant proof that we can overcome our adversaries if we learn to live beyond our physicality. It all boils down to the idea that you can achieve anything if you set your heart and your mind to that particular goal and do it. 

“The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller is published weekly with the mission of helping people “Grow Through What They Go Through” as they navigate adversity and discover their promised life of peace, prosperity, and purpose. 

Website: https://elevatelifecoaching.org/ 

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn1sZpJJvPUQ8YVfEujhkDw/search 

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michellekuei/ 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elevatelifecoach/?hl=en 

Transcripts

Brad Miller::

Welcome, Michelle Kuei to Beyond Adversity.

Michelle Kuei: :

Thank you so much, Brad.

Brad Miller::

It is awesome to have you with us.

Brad Miller::

And I should have said you are doctor Michelle Kuie

Brad Miller::

but you go by Michelle, and she is a doctor of pharmacy

Brad Miller::

and you are a pharmacist by trade,

Brad Miller::

that we love to talk about your coaching program.

Brad Miller::

But to get to you,

Brad Miller::

your history or your life that led you to your coaching program, I know that you've had some, some drama in your life,

Brad Miller::

some things that you have had to, to contend with in your life,

Brad Miller::

and in some adverse conditions.

Brad Miller::

And tell us a little bit about your story, some of the things you faced in your life,

Brad Miller::

which has helped to set the stage for what you do now.

Michelle Kuei: :

Yeah, I'm happy to do so. I was born in Taiwan.

Michelle Kuei: :

I'm an immigrant to the United States of America.

Michelle Kuei: :

And I came to us when I was 15. When I was 11 years old, I don’t really call it a drama.

Michelle Kuei: :

It's more like a tragedy to many people.

Michelle Kuei: :

The tragedy happened when I was 11.

Michelle Kuei: :

I was coming out from school one day and crossing the street,

Michelle Kuei: :

there was a car that came so fast that I couldn't avoid it.

Michelle Kuei:  :

The next thing I know I woke up in the hospital.

Michelle Kuei:  :

And from 11 years old to 15, I spent basically four years in and out of the hospital going through multiple surgery.

Michelle Kuei:  :

And by the time I was discharged,

Michelle Kuei: :

I am basically given a pair of metal shoes to wear and also a pair of crutches to walk with.

Michelle Kuei: :

And the doctor had told me that you have to be this way

Michelle Kuei: :

until you stop growing lbs up until 18 years old when your bone is more structurally stable.

Michelle Kuei:  :

Of course, no other coming out from a teenager ID

Michelle Kuei:  :

and listen to the doctor. That was the last advice I want to listen to.

Michelle Kuei: :

So I took away my metal route. I shot to walk every day, every year,

Michelle Kuei: :

As I start to walk on my own, I noticed I was building a lot of pressure on my legs and in my bag.

Michelle Kuei:

So by the time I reached to college, I could no longer walk long distance,

Michelle Kuei: :

I would always need to have some type of assistance. And that assistant used to be my mom.

Michelle Kuei: :

So, my mom would go with me everywhere I go, including my first job interview.

Michelle Kuei: :

Michelle Kuei:  00:02:27

because my mom could no longer walk with me. And so I started to use crutches

Michelle Kuei: :

ever since then I've been walking with two crutches. And I am 47 now.

Michelle Kuei: :

So, for the last 47 years, I've been just using crutches.

Brad Miller::

Well, indeed, a tragic circumstance, she was struck by this car

Brad Miller::

and your whole world changed instantaneously at a tender age 11.

Brad Miller::

And as you said, you went through, you know, all the growing up aspects of being a teenager

Brad Miller::

and a young adult with all the everything that's

Brad Miller::

you know, challenging it in the best of circumstances with that,

Brad Miller::

with all this physical infirmity. 03:07And then you had you know,

Brad Miller::

the dynamic of going to job interviews

Brad Miller::

and other things with your mom or others to be helpful to you.

Brad Miller::

And and I'm sure that has its good points, but it I'm sure it had it's challenging aspects as well.

Brad Miller::

And so a lot of people when they have something like this happen to them,

Brad Miller::

Michelle descend into depression or go into a spiral to have some negative behaviors

Brad Miller::

or some problems that that are hard to get out of03:38 they get stuck.

Brad Miller::

Did he have this kind of thing happened to you?

Brad Miller::

Did you find yourself in some dark places or acting out in some destructive or negative ways any of this go on with you?

Michelle Kuei:

Absolutely. I think initially when they happen

Michelle Kuei: :

when the accident happened, it sent me to a place of resentment.

Michelle Kuei: : :

There was a lot of anger initially, why did this happen to me.

Michelle Kuei:

And so I took it out for a lot of people who's around me at the time,

Michelle Kuei:

I became very bitter. I was always pushing my sister around,

Michelle Kuei:

you know, telling her to do stuff for me04:11. And I took it for granted that things will.

Michelle Kuei:

This is what happened to me and therefore I am the victim.

Michelle Kuei:

So everything that I asked for is should be something that's pretty obvious,

Michelle Kuei: :

it should be given to me. So I start bossing people around.

Michelle Kuei:

And that two plays within the first. I received five years after this after the accident happened.

Michelle Kuei:

Following that I started going into that body shaming.And when as a teenager, I started to have these features.

Michelle Kuei: :

You know, as a woman, I started to recognize my body.

Michelle Kuei: :

And that pushed me through a lot of self criticism, self judgment.

Michelle Kuei: :

How am I not looking the same way as the girl who's sitting next to me?

Michelle Kuei: :

That just self-judgment. He pushed me to the bottom of my life where everything

Michelle Kuei: :

I look at it, either I cannot associate myself to it.So I was looking for a place where I belong.

Michelle Kuei: :

And I would wake up in the middle of the night feeling just absolutely no reason I will start crying.

Michelle Kuei: :

I start crying because I felt like doesn't have any covers

Michelle Kuei: :

If we all here, and this is how we look. And every single people or women that I know, surrounding me,

Michelle Kuei: :

this is how they look, this is what normal body looks like, where does that place me?

Michelle Kuei: :

So where do I belong? And I think one of the big reason I was in this really dark place where I don't feel belong.

Michelle Kuei: :

I remember one day I stepped into the shower

Michelle Kuei: :

and I just that daunting thoughts about this is not the place I want to be. This is not my calling, this is not my reason to be here.

Michelle Kuei: :

I didn't ask for any of this. But it happened.

Michelle Kuei: :

I don't want this. I don't want to wake up in the morning and looking myself in the mirror.

Michelle Kuei: :

How do I end this? And that single idea of how do I end this? Initially, it was scary. But years afterwards,

Michelle Kuei: :

you know, a year after two years after I continue to have that idea of how do I end this, I don't want this.

Brad Miller::

So I'm sorry to interrupt you, but that this became your aha moment,

Brad Miller::

your pivotal moment, it sounds like that,

Brad Miller::

that you were no longer were willing to stay in a state of darkness or

Brad Miller::

depression or whatever you want to call it that you

Brad Miller::

were gonna stay there anymore. 06:48But in order to make that shift to make that change,

Brad Miller::

you have to not only decide to change, which is what you're describing here,

Brad Miller::

but you had to do something about it, you had to take some action And obviously now you're

Brad Miller::

you have a doctoral degree in pharmacy, and you work in the pharmacists

Brad Miller::

and you have a course and book and other things that you've done,

Brad Miller::

you're in a much different place. But in order to get from that dark place

Brad Miller::

to where you're at, now, you took some actions, you did something to break a pattern.

Brad Miller::

So tell us Michelle a little bit about some of the patterns

Brad Miller::

or actions or defining moments that you've had

Brad Miller::

the move from that dark place to at least, start on this pathway of redemption.

Michelle Kuei: :

So I carry that thought about I don't belong here. And I want to end this to realizing that

Michelle Kuei: :

Okay, so what on my option here? Ending ending? It is so easy, right? I I'm a biology major,

Michelle Kuei: :

I know exactly how the vein is running,and how is the structure. So for me to end, it is so easy,

Michelle Kuei: :

but I do have a choice. And it was in that moment07:53 where I recognize that okay, so I can make a choice

Michelle Kuei: :

I can enter here. Or I can think about

Michelle Kuei:

something else that that maybe I can do to get myself out of this.

Michelle Kuei: :

And that single idea maybe I can get do something

to get myself out of this.

Michelle Kuei: :

Let you My first step was going to a to a local Target store

Michelle Kuei: :

and I bought myself and exercise both Never have I

Michelle Kuei: :

have in my life, going to a gym or start working out

Michelle Kuei: :

and anyplace The first step was going to the target

Michelle Kuei: :

and just get an exercise ball. What did I want to do with it? I wasn't sure

Michelle Kuei: :

I just remember going to the store

Michelle Kuei: :

and buying it purchasing it brought it home

Michelle Kuei: :

in played it. I was staring at it. Okay, what do I do

Michelle Kuei: :

with it? The next step even led to let me just do some Googling,

Michelle Kuei: :

maybe you know, YouTube will will tell me something about how

Michelle Kuei: :

to use this thing. Yes. So I went onto the website,

Michelle Kuei: :

I did a Google watch some tutorial on how to use the exercise ball for someone who has limited mobility.

Michelle Kuei: :

So I watched a couple of tutorials I started to follow instruction.

Michelle Kuei: :

This is how you work exercise on the ball for limiting mobility

Michelle Kuei: :

And that next actions that led me to signing up to the gym

Michelle Kuei: :

booking myself at tickets, I flew myself to Machu Picchu, Peru. I hide to the 26 miles

Michelle Kuei: :

of Inca trail with my two crutches by myself, on September 2016. So every action every little

Michelle Kuei: :

action led to something bigger and by the time I got to Machu Picchu

Michelle Kuei: :

I don't even want to emphasize anymore I want to keep going

Brad Miller::

I just want to be clear with you I just want to see

Brad Miller::

If I'm understanding when you say in this were

Brad Miller::

you talking about ending is an ending your life

Brad Miller::

as we're talking about here I just want to be clear. Okay,

Michelle Kuei::

I thought I had the vision or idea of ending my life I

Brad Miller::

didn't want to read too much into it.

Brad Miller::

That's where you met something more metaphorical but you

Brad Miller::

were at a really what I'm getting at here Michelle's

Brad Miller::

you were at a really dark bad place.And that is Exercise Ball, literally got the ball

Brad Miller::

rolling for you didn't it? You know,because my goodness, Machu Picchu that

Brad Miller::

that is I've never been there, but it's on my bucket list of places to go. And I do know this, it's not for the faint of heart is it?

Brad Miller::

You know, it's, it is a dramatic hike, I'm a bit of a hiker myself.

Brad Miller::

And that is a dramatic thing to do. And that is awesome

Brad Miller::

So you took that action to buy the ball,

Brad Miller::

to use the ball to take the actions of looking at the YouTube videos

Brad Miller::

and whatnot, to use it. And then you took even more

Brad Miller::

dramatic steps to go to get on a plane

Brad Miller::

and travel make all the arrangements go to Machu Picchu.

Brad Miller::

And you've eventually led you to other places here, you know, in your academic career

Brad Miller::

and your career of healthy women. 10:49And it's all because you took some action, or this, that's

Brad Miller::

a piece of it, I'm a big believer, nothing really

Brad Miller::

happens unless we engage our physicality, of taking some action.

Brad Miller::

So your mental state and your emotional state kick in after

Brad Miller::

that. So let's talk a little bit for a minute here, Michelle,

Brad Miller::

about how this taking action kind of the physical state

Brad Miller::

is also then related to the inner life, how I

Brad Miller::

believe a person in order to have true transformation has to then

Brad Miller::

connect to something greater than themselves

Brad Miller::

and mission greater than themselves, or a spiritual formation

Brad Miller::

aspect or some aspect of, of mind, you know, of mindfulness, or of spirituality or, you know,

Brad Miller::

meditation, any number of things that could be that way.

Brad Miller::

If was, this was the case at all, in your transformation, tell us a little bit about it, h

Brad Miller::

how you had to connect your physicality with a state

Brad Miller::

of something greater than yourself.

Michelle Kuei: :

I think the way that we live as human being, we have different way of connecting all the dots.

Michelle Kuei: :

And the way that we show up in the world is really coming out

Michelle Kuei:

from six different aspects and you cover a lot of them.

Michelle Kuei::

So there's the physical aspect, emotional, mental, social,

Michelle Kuei::

how are we connected to the rest of the world. And also, spirituality

Michelle Kuei::

Is a big one, and environmental is another option. So there's six different impacts that's

Michelle Kuei:: :

constantly flowing around us, around us that keeps us either

Michelle Kuei::

motivated or not motivated. So in order for my

Michelle Kuei:: :

action to happen, I was picking the one that's lowest hanging

Michelle Kuei: ::

fruit for myself, and the lowest hanging fruit for myself

Michelle Kuei:: :

in order to create a change that lead to an action.

Michelle Kuei: :

It was just the physical, the physical was something

Michelle Kuei: :

that I was struggling with, right that body shaming

Michelle Kuei::

and feeling unmotivated and unappreciative to my body.

Michelle Kuei: :

That was my lowest hanging fruit that

Michelle Kuei::

I could address, mental and emotional, aspect aspects,

Michelle Kuei::

it was something deeper, something more hidden in the

back of the dark tunnel that we're traveling do.

Michelle Kuei::

So how do I address it, and I approach

Michelle Kuei::

it by just reaching for the simplest one, the physical aspects,

Michelle Kuei::

I can do something I can exercise to see what would happen. So to make that change,

Michelle Kuei::

and that physical exercise, let you okay, my dopamine is up, I'm all pumped about, you know,

Michelle Kuei::

making making myself having the six pack even though

Michelle Kuei::

I'm disabled. That was my goal. That was my simple goal. When I stepped into the gym

Michelle Kuei::

and say, You know what, I want to start exercise

Michelle Kuei::

My goal was actually be the first person to have the six

Michelle Kuei::

packs, even though she's disabled. That was my biggest goal.

Michelle Kuei::

So I, I did all these lifestyle modifications,

based on that single idea of you know, what

Michelle Kuei: :

physical is something I can tackle on, let me work on that first.

Michelle Kuei::

And once that ball get rolling, I start to

realize that look at all these people who's around me,

Michelle Kuei::

they're inspiring by the fact that I show up to the gym.

Michelle Kuei::

They're inspired by their motivator motivated by me

Michelle Kuei::

just stepping into the gym. That tells me a lot about who I am.

Michelle Kuei::

Even though I look this way. I am I still have

Michelle Kuei::

a purpose. And that purpose. Maybe it's something that

Michelle Kuei::

I have not seen before. Maybe it is about the way

Michelle Kuei::

that I'm showing up. Maybe it's about the weight

Michelle Kuei::

I'm being maybe it's about my positivity it

Michelle Kuei::

maybe it's about the smile that I put on my face,

Michelle Kuei::

the moment I walked into the gym. So my physical influence

Michelle Kuei::

started to impact my emotional and my mental influence,

Michelle Kuei::

where the physical strategy to tell myself hey, you know, you may be looking this way,

Michelle Kuei::

but there's something bigger than yourself. All you have to do do is just be very curious

Michelle Kuei::

and find out what it is. So that single idea

Michelle Kuei::

of just go and find out what it is, what is your purpose,

Michelle Kuei::

that curiosity to find out? Why? Why do I exist?

Michelle Kuei::

Why this got me here, that single

Michelle Kuei::

idea started to allow me to see the bigger picture of what

Michelle Kuei::

this life is about. Life is not just about the physical limitation,

Michelle Kuei::

it's about how you be a service of people. So are you helping others?

Brad Miller::

Sound like you became really almost driven by this?

Brad Miller::

This purpose of finding out why what's my purpose?

Brad Miller::

Why am I here? What's it all about?

Brad Miller::

What's next, I love the way you put that

Brad Miller::

what's next and to be have that sense of curiosity and,

Brad Miller::

and discovery. And part of the process here, Michelle,

Brad Miller::

I believe, as you have been touched on a little bit here

Brad Miller::

is and you make these decisions yourself,

Brad Miller::

and then you start to have influence on others.

Brad Miller::

And a you and others have influence on you.

Brad Miller::

And part of transformation to get through adversity,

Brad Miller::

such as what you went through, is to begin

Brad Miller::

to build healthy relationships, or relationships can be part

Brad Miller::

of the healing process. And sometimes that's family or friends or

Brad Miller::

accountability groups, sometimes it could be doctors or it can even be mentors,

Brad Miller::

or it could be sometimes it can be like from a like learning

Brad Miller::

experience school or from even a book you've read from,

Brad Miller::

you know, years ago, someone's long gone. Tell us about the

Brad Miller::

importance of relationships, both in your life and what you teach

Brad Miller::

in terms of a part of the process, have to sustain to get through accountability,

Brad Miller::

anything has to do with getting through to getting, getting past your present to a better place.

Michelle Kuei::

Yeah, one of one of my biggest value in life is connection.

Michelle Kuei::

And I know that the male or you're, you're in the leadership area.

Michelle Kuei: :

So I believe that every one of us are leaders, like right now

Michelle Kuei::

you and I are sitting here and we're leading the leader, because

Michelle Kuei::

we're leading others to lead themselves. So the impact of how others are

Michelle Kuei::

influencing or impacting us has a direct relation to how we're leading them. So

Michelle Kuei::

we're leading each other on this journey. And I think as you're talking about

books, one of the one of my favorite book is Joseph Campbell's hero

Michelle Kuei::

with 1000 faces. And the hero with 1000 faces basically

Michelle Kuei::

describes this transformational journey of every individual

Michelle Kuei::

who are leaders. And that well, he describes as

Michelle Kuei::

a hero. Yeah, so every hero, every person has a hero's journey, you go through your struggle,

Michelle Kuei::

you come to a realization that there's a challenge, and there's a calling to

Michelle Kuei::

find out the bigger picture in life. And you go through that journey with struggles

Michelle Kuei::

and challenges. And finally, you come to this place where you find a

Michelle Kuei:: :

guide with a mentor, who's kind of just show up miraculously, even though it's not

Michelle Kuei::

miraculously. By design, there's a purpose for these guides, which are love.

Michelle Kuei::

So in my life, there's multiple of these guide

Michelle Kuei::

every single moment every single second, and so lives on this planet,

Michelle Kuei::

like right now you're impacting me, and you are my guy,

Michelle Kuei::

you are my mentor, something about what we're saying here,

Michelle Kuei::

the conversation is going to leave an imprint inside of me that

Michelle Kuei::

maybe not today. But a year, a week from today, I'm going to

Michelle Kuei::

recall this conversation. And that becomes my guide to how I'm going

Michelle Kuei::

To move forward in life. So connection to other people, who's also leading right now in their lives,

Michelle Kuei::

setting up example, just showing up every day out to work, or just answering their callings,

Michelle Kuei::

those are valuable that every one of

Brad Miller::

us has asked me because you know, it's part of that growing process,

Brad Miller::

because you told me that journey journeys

Brad Miller::

one step at a time, but also the transforming your

Brad Miller::

processes about growing. And if you have a setback, sometimes that's where the your mentor, your friend,

Brad Miller::

your family member can be a part of the Okay, let's get back up and get going. Brad Miller: Brad Miller: 00:19:30

I'm sure in your process of your physical health issues,

Brad Miller::

you had to have some people who were you know, encouraging,

Brad Miller::

when you were discouraged.

Brad Miller::

And I'm sure you've had people in your life who have you

Brad Miller::

have encouraged, who were discouraged. And that is a part of what you are

Brad Miller::

about and, and part of what we can do here that Michelle

Brad Miller::

is going to start to apply cognitive principles.

Brad Miller::

What I mean by that is the application of the learning process

Brad Miller::

that we've done, and to apply them to our lives. And so let's talk

Brad Miller::

for a minute About the cognitive meaning,what are some of the habits or disciplines or practices

Brad Miller::

that you are involved with either now in your life or what you teach in

Brad Miller::

what you have in your courses, and so on. That helps people then to keep moving to

Brad Miller::

keep taking step after step. What are some things that you do or that you teach?

Michelle Kuei::

I teach people to set up goals,

Michelle Kuei::

I really believe that setting a heavier goal,

Michelle Kuei::

having a goal is like putting a pin dropping a pin on a map,

Michelle Kuei::

you know exactly where you want to go,

Michelle Kuei::

maybe a week from today, it could be very small change in

Michelle Kuei::

your life, like could be changing your diet, eating habits, drop a pin,

Michelle Kuei::

that I'm going to change my habit of eating

Michelle Kuei::

the way that I'm eating food, putting my bodies,20:49 that becomes your goal. And when you have a determination

Michelle Kuei::

that you set the goal in, you start to think about

Michelle Kuei::

what are some of the ways that I can change my lifestyle

Michelle Kuei::

to meet that goal? What is it I'm doing now,

Michelle Kuei::

that is pushing me further away from reaching that

Michelle Kuei::

goal of eating a healthy diet? What will be some

Michelle Kuei::

other actions? For example, maybe I would go to

Michelle Kuei::

a grocery shop and start having a shopping list.

Michelle Kuei::

Stay focused in order to bring me closer to the goal.

Michelle Kuei:: :

So I think step number one is to have a goal, knowing what is it that you want?

Michelle Kuei::

What type of lifestyle do you want to live?

Michelle Kuei::

What career goal Do you have? Where do you want to be

Michelle Kuei::

a year from today? If we were to have this

Michelle Kuei::

interview, again, a year from today, where do you want yourself to be?

Michelle Kuei::

Maybe having to bug out be your speaker on a bigger,

Michelle Kuei::

bigger stage where you can speak to a lot more people?

Michelle Kuei::

That's a goal. So step number one is setting up a goal?

Michelle Kuei::

What is it that you want for your life?

Brad Miller::

Awesome? Well, that part of their process for you has been apparently

Brad Miller::

the goal of not only living in the world of science

Brad Miller::

in pharmacy, and so on, which is notable and helpful to everything

Brad Miller::

And where would we be right now on our road without the work of pharmacists

Brad Miller::

who created among other things, the COVID vaccine,

Brad Miller::

but let's talk about what you chose to do, which is to write a book,

Brad Miller::

and to speak to the needs, particularly of women who have gone through

Brad Miller::

some of the several things that you have gone to

Brad Miller::

you call yourself a personal visibility, confidence coach

Brad Miller::

and I love the alignment of those words there.

But please unpack that, for me as particularly,

Brad Miller::

you have a focus on women, I know, what does it mean to you,

Brad Miller::

when you say personal visibility, confidence Coach,

Brad Miller::

what does that mean?

Michelle Kuei::

It means stepping out of your comfort zone and start

Michelle Kuei::

playing small in your life. I think as women,

Michelle Kuei::

a lot of times we feel that our opinion is not valuable

Michelle Kuei::

you know, whatever that we have to say and contribute

Michelle Kuei::

is not important. And so we tend to have that tendency when

Michelle Kuei::

we sit at a coffee table, or a meeting table, we continue

Michelle Kuei::

to play small, we downplay ourselves. And so a lot of times, we don't either voice our

Michelle Kuei::

opinion, or we don't share some of the things that we know that we can actually remake

Michelle Kuei::

this whole world a lot better place. And fortunately,

Michelle Kuei::

now a lot more women are stepping out of their comfort zone

Michelle Kuei::

and being the voice in the world. But you know traditionally, and there's still a lot of women who are

Michelle Kuei::

continuously just avoiding to show up either in their life

Michelle Kuei::

or in their business. So a lot of my clients are that

Michelle Kuei::

I'm working with right now have business, their business owner.

Michelle Kuei::

So they're trying to make their way out to the world to talk about their

Michelle Kuei::

business to share the service that they're offering. But they're not doing that because

Michelle Kuei::

they don't feel number one, they don't feel confident about themselves,

Michelle Kuei::

the way that they show up and talking to people networking, elevator pitch,

Michelle Kuei::

they don't know how to do that. And so that triggers a lot of that imposter

Michelle Kuei::

syndrome, even though they have like an amazing degree or certification

Michelle Kuei::

but they don't believe that they belong in this world,

Michelle Kuei::

and they don't belong, that they have a place. So without the confidence,

Michelle Kuei::

chances are you're not showing up for your business. Chances

Michelle Kuei::

are you're not being seen by people chances are you're not contributing any

Michelle Kuei::

any of your service to the world and you're not answering your

::

calling, you're not answering the purpose, your reason why you've

Michelle Kuei::

been here. So the visibility confidence has to do with building each individual woman up24:36 and I do work with them. I just want to clear it out.

Michelle Kuei::

It's a gender equality, community and society.

Michelle Kuei::

So once we have the confidence built up, you feel comfortable being in your own skin.

Michelle Kuei::

So when you show up on the camera, when you're talking to

Michelle Kuei::

people, you know exactly how you want to express yourself, you know exactly

Michelle Kuei::

what it is that you want to say And what do you have to offer, and you truly

Michelle Kuei::

believe in the value that you're offering. And that, to me is visibility.

Michelle Kuei::

When you can be visible no matter at work, or at home,

Michelle Kuei::

you actually contribute to create a harmonious society community

Michelle Kuei::

that we were meant to be this supposed to be a balanced world.

Michelle Kuei::

So when we're holding back, we're actually creating a disharmony

Michelle Kuei::

We're not playing our parts. So that's what I'm very passionate about.

Brad Miller::

And you call it a heart to heart a step by step heart centered process

Brad Miller:

Which means, to me at least it means being empathetic,

Brad Miller::

and compassionate. And also introspective, and, and discerning

Brad Miller::

of people's lives. What are some of the ways that you do that? I know you

Brad Miller::

have a step by step process that you teach. What are some of the

Brad Miller::

ways you teach this heart centered process to people who you work with? At elevate life coaching.org.

::

I teach people to approach it from within. And it has to do with

Michelle Kuei::

connecting with ourselves? How are we showing up as a leader?

Michelle Kuei::

And we talked about this? How are we showing up as a leader?

::

How do we want to lead? What is our mission in life?

Michelle Kuei::

What do we believe in, and I also approached it from a personality

Michelle Kuei::

perspective. So I had a big influence from the east Eastern background where I

Michelle Kuei::

grew up listening to the phone stray, I grew up listening to the ying yang.

And how

Michelle Kuei::

did that whole 5000 word, I 5000 years worth of traditional medicine, it comes out

Michelle Kuei::

emerges a personality archetype. And there are five different archetype that

Michelle Kuei::

each one of us actually currently have. And it's in the heritage,

Michelle Kuei::

give and tell him that we have by showing up,

Michelle Kuei::

and Carl Jung actually has a Western version of this.

Michelle Kuei::

And he described as the top archetype. The top archetype

Michelle Kuei::

include the innocent, the worrier, the the romantic and the fools,

Michelle Kuei::

and each personality show up to the world with different perspective,

Michelle Kuei::

a different way of being, and different way of approaching things in relation to the world that we're in So the heart center has to do with self-discovery, it has to do with connecting to yourselves

Michelle Kuei::

without something my salesperson, because when it comes to marketing, and being

Michelle Kuei::

visible, a lot of times we're doing these pitches, or we're doing making connection calls,

Michelle Kuei::

and you don't want to sound like a salesperson, because that's not who you are.

Brad Miller::

Yeah, you need to be. But I love what what you're saying here,

::

Michelle, about to integrating the Eastern philosophies with Western youngin

Brad Miller::

with both sociological and second cycle, psychological aspects, but you're making it yours,

Brad Miller::

and you're making it yours into fit into the needs of people right now who see themselves

Brad Miller::

as invisible for whatever reason, a lot of women you work

Brad Miller::

with in men as well. And I believe that kind of we kind of have a, it's a, almost a disease of people feeling.

Brad Miller::

Lack of understand lack of being understood or understanding of themselves.

Brad Miller::

And being just lost, you know, in those dark places. Anything we can do to help people to navigate

Brad Miller::

those places. Because adversity means often means people get stuck in some place.

::

And to get through and to be stuck is a place of misery and so many people are there

Brad Miller::

and to get to get through that is an amazing thing. Because that's when you start to

Brad Miller::

have you know, what, have true joy in life. And I think that's what

Brad Miller::

you're after you guys see, you know, we're, I see to see

Brad Miller::

a lot of joy in your faces, we're able to talk over video, and that you're a person who has had many crushing events happened

Brad Miller::

to you, but you are not crushed. You are you're crushing it, which is cool to see. Here's what I'd like to hear

Brad Miller::

understand framing. Now. Michelle, let's talk about how what You have taught

Brad Miller::

and what you're about has been influential or informative, and the transformation

Brad Miller::

of other people. I mentioned hearing a story about somebody you've worked with

Brad Miller::

or have seen a transformation with tell us a story about somebody you've

Brad Miller::

had some impact on.

Michelle Kuei::

I love telling stories so you just open a Pandora's box

Michelle Kuei::

for me. So one of my clients during the pandemic, she had reached

Michelle Kui:

Michelle Kuei: 00:29:50

She used to wait at tables in the restaurant back in you know before pretend

Michelle Kuei::

pandemic and she she reached out to me because she She was struggling,

Michelle Kuei::

she would her restaurant got closed down. So she didn't, she was losing the job.

Michelle Kuei::

But that was the end of her life that she heard that was the end of life. And so by the

Michelle Kuei::

time she reached out to me, she said, I need some confidence coaching,

Michelle Kuei::

because I'm about to move forward in other jobs. And I don't know how to scare,

Michelle Kuei::

I've been a very quiet and introverted person. And just going and going out

Michelle Kuei::

and meeting people, that makes me feel very uncomfortable, I'm not sure how

Michelle Kuei::

to approach them, let alone you know, sitting through an interview.

::

So she came to me because she was looking for a job. But when we start

Michelle Kuei::

working together, she what I've noticed is that it doesn't just show up in her job,

Michelle Kuei::

you know, during the job interview, that she doesn't have this level of confidence,

Michelle Kuei::

it also show up in her real life, when she's in a relationship with30:51 others or trying to get into a relationship. She would like

Michelle Kuei::

, if we were to go into a bar, the places that she was staying is that the

Michelle Kuei::

corner, you know, within the restaurant, not close to the bar and not close to people,

Michelle Kuei::

she just doesn't know how to how to deal with people. And so

Michelle Kuei::

when we start working, I work with her on her building her competence

Michelle Kuei::

competence level before she go to the job interview, we touch upon you know how

Michelle Kuei::

to do the resume and how to do the interview, the majority about timespan

Michelle Kuei::

are in the confidence. And I remember sitting her down and we did a little

Michelle Kuei::

visioning exercise where you know, I just invite her to close her eyes

Michelle Kuei::

and picture where she would be 10 years from today, and where she

Michelle Kuei::

would like to be. So she closed her eye and she stopped painting this picture

Michelle Kuei::

for me. And I said, okay, so describe what you're what you're seeing your

Michelle Kuei::

head 10 years from today. And she gave me this picture of

Michelle Kuei::

how she's behind her desk. She had her wall painted light blue.

Michelle Kuei::

She has a picture on the wall. It has dolphin it was the dolphin that

Michelle Kuei::

she saw a couple years ago. And I asked her where am I you know,

Michelle Kuei::

I'm walking through your office door, where am I? And she said,

Michelle Kuei::

You'll be waiting, you know, at the coffee table waiting area, you're

Michelle Kuei::

gonna have a coffee. So walking through that exercise, she decided

Michelle Kuei::

that she doesn't want to work for someone else. She actually wants to

Michelle Kuei::

be a business owner. So right now she's a bookkeeper. So she didn't

Michelle Kuei::

she started her bookkeeping company. And she does it remotely. She can

Michelle Kuei::

work with clients from anywhere. And then just couple of months ago,

Michelle Kuei::

she sent me a picture, she's that I'm on a boat. Okay, where does that she's

Michelle Kuei::

at? Well, one of my client actually invited me to a boat, like I said, Well,

Michelle Kuei::

there you go. So she went from the waitress to a business owner.

Michelle Kuei::

And now she's enjoying her life on a on a on a boat, with clients.

Brad Miller::

And as you said earlier, to think bigger to think what is possible,

Brad Miller::

not what is impossible. And some great things you have to share

Brad Miller:

::

here you've had your own story of just really overcoming

Brad Miller::

some really tremendous tragic adversity. And now you're

::

making a huge contribution to people like this woman that

Brad Miller:

::

you've described, and you've got a book out and you're

Brad Miller::

coaching at Elevate to coaching.org. If people go to elevate

Brad Miller::

coaching.org, what are they going to find there? What's gonna

Brad Miller::

be helpful to them? That for instance, if a woman likes his first

Brad Miller::

you describe goes there, what are they going to find?

Michelle Kuei::

They're going to find a little quick story about me.

Michelle Kuei::

And they will also find a link to work with me. So they're interested in

Michelle Kuei::

finding more about one on one coaching, they will see a link and also

Michelle Kuei::

they will find a link to get my book. So there is a link to get a copy of my

Michelle Kuei::

book, and it will be personally signed by me send it out to you by me.

Michelle Kuei::

So they can all find that information on my website.

Brad Miller::

It was awesome. One of the ways you describe this type of conversation

Brad Miller::

is a tea party and I love that a tea party with deep with deep

Brad Miller::

conversations you say that people who longed to have their even

Brad Miller::

their hidden places are welcome and they're welcome in

Brad Miller::

your life and you've been a joy to be our guest here on

Brad Miller::

the beyond diversity podcast with Dr. Brett Miller.

Brad Miller::

Our guest today has been Michelle clay from elevate life coaching.org

Brad Miller::

Thank you so much.

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