Shownotes
We all have hidden idols—big and small. An idol is anything that takes God’s place in your heart, absorbs your imagination, or promises what only He can give.
This week on the Everyday Disciple Podcast, we’re tackling the four root idols: control, approval, comfort, and power. You’ll learn how to identify and destroy them in your life.
Idols today aren’t statues or totems—they’re far more subtle. Listen when your heart says, “If I just had that, then my life would have meaning… then I’d feel valuable, significant, or secure.”
In This Episode You’ll Learn:- A clear, practical definition of what idols look like in our lives.
- The four root idols that fuel all forms of false worship.
- Key emotional triggers that reveal the idols controlling us.
- How these idols steal our worship and devotion from God.
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Download today’s BIG 3 right now. Read and think over them again later. You might even want to share them with others…
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Join us on Facebook and take part in the discussion! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of this page or right below. Also, please subscribe and leave an honest review for The Everyday Disciple Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them. Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Coaching with Caesar and Tina in discipleship and missional living. Resources for Disciple-making and Missional Living
Transcripts
We all have idols in our life.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm not talking about totem poles, or a little bobblehead statue, or something that's sitting around.
Caesar Kalinowski:But we have these things, or people in our life, that we make ultimate.
Caesar Kalinowski:We take something that's good in our life, but we make it an ultimate thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Something that we can't live without.
Caesar Kalinowski:Tim Keller speaks and talks about this in awesome and powerful ways.
Caesar Kalinowski:He says, an idol is anything more important to you than God.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it starts to absorb our heart and our imagination.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, none of us want that, but all of us have them.
Caesar Kalinowski:We have them connected to control issues.
Caesar Kalinowski:We have them connected to approval, fear of man.
Caesar Kalinowski:We have them connected to our comfort and our preferences, and we have them connected to power and trying to earn and gain everything.
Caesar Kalinowski:It doesn't have to be that way.
Caesar Kalinowski:Jesus died that we might see he is the better.
Caesar Kalinowski:He is the fulfillment of all those needs so that we can truly rest.
Heath Hollensbe:Welcome to the Everyday Disciple podcast, where you'll learn how to live with.
Heath Hollensbe:Greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits into every area of life.
Heath Hollensbe:In other words, discipleship as a lifestyle.
Heath Hollensbe:This is the stuff your parents, pastors and seminary professors probably forgot to tell you.
Heath Hollensbe:And now here's your host, Cesar Kalinowski.
Heath Hollensbe:Hey, he, are you in the family getting ready for Easter yet?
Heath Hollensbe:I mean, I remember back in February looking at the, uh.
Heath Hollensbe:Looking at the stores, and they already had Easter stuff
Caesar Kalinowski:out, and I'm Can, can you tell me something?
Caesar Kalinowski:How, how does Easter, which is even, I think, socially, still people connect it to Christ and his resurrection.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:How did it, we ever get this bunny?
Caesar Kalinowski:And eggs connection because those don't even work those even I mean you just want to chuck the spiritual connotation of Easter Which the world is not even done yet.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, where do we get eggs?
Caesar Kalinowski:I have no clue colored eggs, not even white eggs.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, and then bunnies
Heath Hollensbe:a creepy bunny.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah you know, I actually remember working for a really attractional church couple before some of days and And they did this thing where they actually hired a helicopter and they fill up a giant bucket full of eggs, and they had everyone at a local park, and the helicopter came and they dumped out, what, 10, 000 eggs?
Heath Hollensbe:And it wasn't really well thought out because it was, I mean, it was like Were they boiled?
Heath Hollensbe:No, they were like the little plastic eggs for the candy.
Heath Hollensbe:Oh, okay.
Heath Hollensbe:10, 000 of these things smack in the ground, raining down and
Caesar Kalinowski:yeah, and it just popping them and kids are snacking on them.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, we take the grandkids now cause my, my grown kids aren't that, that into these eggs, but we take them to a local park here that like it's free.
Caesar Kalinowski:And there's a gazillion of those plastic eggs and they, they set them all out in a field and they do age and stage of life so that, you know, the one and two year olds are kind of running around together and then high school kids aren't tromping them because they shouldn't be out there.
Caesar Kalinowski:And there's, and there's bunnies, and there's little goats, and lambs, little Easter lamby lamb, and that's great.
Caesar Kalinowski:No, not a lot of Jesus at the park.
Caesar Kalinowski:Not a lot of Jesus in the park, but, uh, It is interesting.
Caesar Kalinowski:If you listened to last week's episode on apologetics making for poor evangelism, then you know how I roll when I get there.
Caesar Kalinowski:You start throwing tracks and eggs.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh yeah, I just, I just replace as many eggs They can with chick tracks about burning it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hell yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Chick tracks.
Caesar Kalinowski:The putt is intended.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hey, Oh, wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:How that was good.
Caesar Kalinowski:Easter.
Caesar Kalinowski:Chicken, chicken, chicken.
Caesar Kalinowski:I getcha.
Heath Hollensbe:Hey, this week we wanted to do a topic on, on how to recognize four different potential major idols in our lives, right?
Heath Hollensbe:And, uh, we like to start with definitions because this actually has, if we start off on the wrong trajectory, some people could be thinking about, like, a literal golden cow and others are talking about something else.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, and I think a few years ago, no one was talking about idols, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Tim Keller started kinda hippin us to that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:I mean, not that we never did, but I can remember as a kid when they talked about not having idols, you know, in your life.
Caesar Kalinowski:I assumed it meant like a totem pole, literally, or I thought it meant like, and there are still some people that think like, you should have no statues in your house, or, like, you shouldn't even have, like, a crucifix, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Cause it's, it's, it's an idol, or something.
Heath Hollensbe:We used to live near the Amish, and they wouldn't let you take pictures of them, cause they, They consider that a graven
Caesar Kalinowski:And so we might have some listeners that are there today.
Caesar Kalinowski:I think most of us would probably pass that, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:And they see idols as something else in life.
Caesar Kalinowski:So let's go to Tim Keller's definition of this.
Caesar Kalinowski:In his book, Counterfeit Gods is amazing.
Caesar Kalinowski:If you've not read Counterfeit Gods, then I will put a link in the show notes to it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:It is an A er, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, read it, reread it, reread it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Have you read it?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Keller's a beast, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:So it's good.
Caesar Kalinowski:He says, An idol is anything more important to you than God, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give.
Caesar Kalinowski:He says it's making a good thing in your life an ultimate thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:So an idol is whatever you look at and say in your heart of hearts.
Caesar Kalinowski:If I have that, then I'll feel my life has meaning.
Caesar Kalinowski:If, if this goes on, then I'll know I have value, or if this person approves of me, then I'll know I have value.
Caesar Kalinowski:Then I'll feel significant, secure.
Caesar Kalinowski:There are many ways to describe that kind of relationship to something, but you know what I think really describes it well?
Caesar Kalinowski:Worship.
Caesar Kalinowski:We worth ship something.
Caesar Kalinowski:We give something more worth than it has.
Caesar Kalinowski:We give it, in fact, greater worth in our life, affection, attention, significance than God himself.
Caesar Kalinowski:So I think it is a form of false worship.
Heath Hollensbe:And it's
Caesar Kalinowski:not a totem pole.
Caesar Kalinowski:It can, it can be, well, we're going to talk about it.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's, you know,
Heath Hollensbe:we're like two minutes in and I'm already feeling pretty convicted about this.
Heath Hollensbe:Right.
Heath Hollensbe:Leave it to Kelly to drop that powerful bomb.
Heath Hollensbe:It's true.
Heath Hollensbe:But we all have them, man.
Heath Hollensbe:They're,
Caesar Kalinowski:they're, they're lurking.
Heath Hollensbe:And, and today, yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Let's look at the four big overarching idols that actually many of our smaller idols kind of fall under and grow from, and we'll see what they look like, how they affect us, how they affect others.
Heath Hollensbe:But the four kind of meta idols that we're going to talk about are control, Approval, comfort, and power.
Heath Hollensbe:Um, and I think as we go through this, we're gonna see that this is a whole lot more attainable to get some control over than we initially might have thought, right?
Heath Hollensbe:I
Caesar Kalinowski:think so.
Caesar Kalinowski:I mean, it's always lurking, but yes, I think once we can expose the idol, bring it out of darkness into light, and apply the good news of the gospel, yeah, I think that we're gonna see some transformation.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay?
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, so control.
Caesar Kalinowski:Let's look at that one.
Caesar Kalinowski:Control.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:So here's what I'm going to do is I'm going to look at each one of these.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you can.
Caesar Kalinowski:You can go deeper into these again, uh, if you want to get my book, Bigger Gospel, and you want to really dig into these, and I'll even give you a way at the end of the show here to get it for free.
Caesar Kalinowski:Fair enough, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, so I'm not honking it, I'll just, you can get it for free.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, so let's look at control.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, we're going to look at each of these four, control, approval, comfort, and power, and we're going to look at What's the desire that we actually have in our heart?
Caesar Kalinowski:What's the price we're willing to pay to like, have it?
Caesar Kalinowski:What's our greatest nightmare or fear connected to it if we don't have it?
Caesar Kalinowski:How others often feel when we're pursuing this idol.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then what's the underlying problem emotion or, you know, that's under there.
Caesar Kalinowski:So with control, um, our desire there is It's going to expose itself to self discipline, uh, certainty, uh, standards that we set for ourselves and everyone else.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sound familiar?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:And what's the price we're willing to pay?
Caesar Kalinowski:We'll be overworked.
Caesar Kalinowski:We'll even be lonely or like, well, people don't understand us or people just settle for two less or whatever, or if they just suck at that and that's if they didn't suck like me, if they didn't, you know, right, that's the price we'll pay is being overworked or even kind of outside.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Our greatest nightmare connected to that is uncertainty.
Caesar Kalinowski:We want to control everything.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to know how it goes.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like I don't like last minute things.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't like change.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't spring that on me.
Caesar Kalinowski:I can remember, I can remember my, my dad, if he asked him anything that he had to do in kind of soon proximity, it was no.
Caesar Kalinowski:Then he would think about it.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then ask a couple of questions and then sometimes he was okay with it, but it was his immediate response was always no, and it was because his greatest nightmare was uncertainty because he couldn't control that, or I might not be able to control it, but once he thinks through it, then, okay, maybe I could still have control.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now, others, when we're pursuing control and standards for ourselves and them and all that, they often can feel very condemned by us, you know, and I'm, I'm going to raise my hand and say, I'm guilty of this idol.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I've had people say, man, you are very intimidating.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's, it's, you know, I live with a certain level of discipline in my life, but I, I think it probably leaks out on others, you know, and they're thinking, Oh, he's setting that standard for me too.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't want that to be the case.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, they can feel very pushed by us if we're kind of control is our idol, feel kind of pushed and forced and it's gotta be your way or the highway and that kind of thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, um, our big, our big, our biggest like emotional hangup with it is, uh, and problem is worry and fear.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's always on the other side of control.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, I, I try to control that, what I fear and, and I fear being outta control.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:There are two sides to the same.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:There's two sides to the same coin.
Caesar Kalinowski:How, how's, how's that idle in your life?
Caesar Kalinowski:I mean, does that, is that, is that a big one of the, of those four, do you, or what do you see growing out of a control idle?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:I mean, I could see, I relate
Heath Hollensbe:to all of 'em.
Heath Hollensbe:Right?
Heath Hollensbe:Control, uh, I, I was just thinking as you're talking about a situation that happened even the other day.
Heath Hollensbe:With with us living, you know, Northwest isn't the cheapest and my wife stays home And so now I feel the weight of having to yeah to make all the money and I if I lose this Like if I if I'm not working hard enough, we're gonna lose everything and I remember It was after dinner, like two hours after dinner, and I found two cups half full of milk around the house, and I just lost it.
Heath Hollensbe:I was like, I'm working my butt off, trying to pay for our pills, and we're wasting, that's probably 60 cents worth of milk right there, and just, I was like, no, like, God, we have to remember, like, if we're taking this back to the 4Gs, like, God's great.
Heath Hollensbe:He hasn't forgotten about us.
Heath Hollensbe:The, the, the idea of control itself is disillusioning because you can't control anything.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:You know what I mean?
Heath Hollensbe:You can't make more milk.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, I know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you just mentioned the four G's.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, and you said God is great.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so there's a follow up to that.
Caesar Kalinowski:God is great, so I don't have to be in control of people or situations.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the gospel connection to that is.
Caesar Kalinowski:Jesus was raised from the dead when all seemed lost, but in fact, God was great and he was in control and he was, he was saving us in that very act that seemed so out of control.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're killing the Son of Man, you know, they're killing the Son of God.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and I, we look to the cross and we go, no, no, no, no.
Caesar Kalinowski:We don't have to be in control.
Caesar Kalinowski:God is in control.
Caesar Kalinowski:He's great.
Heath Hollensbe:If you haven't yet, this, you know, it's reminding me of episode 195 when we actually look at the four G's.
Heath Hollensbe:Uh, in connection to our parenting styles, or even back at episode 131 where we look at the 4 G's and how it relates to all sin in our lives.
Heath Hollensbe:So if you're listening and you're like, what are these 4 G's?
Heath Hollensbe:Episode 131 and 195 are great follow ups to this.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, we won't take a
Caesar Kalinowski:whole lot of time to explain each one, but just in the hearing of it, if you have a control idol, like you're hearing us talk about this and you're going, uh, yeah, that's one of mine.
Caesar Kalinowski:Just let me just remind you, God is great, so you don't have to be in control.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Absolutely.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and here's the question to ask yourself.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Am I really in control of this situation, or person, or their actions, or their response?
Caesar Kalinowski:Who is really in control of all things?
Caesar Kalinowski:Our good father.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right, our good father.
Caesar Kalinowski:And sometimes, I just need to be reminded of that, Heath.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, me too, man.
Caesar Kalinowski:I do.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so, And you say, well, yeah, you're right, but I'm still going to be that way.
Caesar Kalinowski:Why?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like dethrone the idol, quit worth shipping it, quit giving your control as if you're greater than God.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Do you really think you are?
Caesar Kalinowski:No.
Caesar Kalinowski:And like you already said, we're not really in control of anything.
Caesar Kalinowski:Our could stop like right now.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Boom.
Caesar Kalinowski:Stops.
Caesar Kalinowski:Every day in the news.
Caesar Kalinowski:Boom.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, someone we know just died like my age just dropped a ding like boom aneurysm or something gone friends husband We're not in control of anything.
Caesar Kalinowski:So ask yourself.
Caesar Kalinowski:Am I really in control of this situation or person who really is?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, remind yourself of that.
Heath Hollensbe:All right, let's go to the next one, which I know i'm gonna have to To expose my sin on this one.
Heath Hollensbe:It's approval.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, okay, so approval.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's one of the meta, it's one of the meta idols.
Caesar Kalinowski:The things we serve that we freak out on having.
Caesar Kalinowski:Our greatest desire there is to be affirmed, to have affirmation.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh, to be loved.
Caesar Kalinowski:We desire love and approval from people, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:And so if approval, if approval is our main idol or a big one in our life, then we're going to, we're going to look for that from everybody.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're just, it's just not enough.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's what leads to sometimes not healthy relationships.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, In fact, those are some of the prices we're willing to pay, is codependency or, uh, maybe we give ourselves away sexually in ways we shouldn't, or emotionally in ways that we really shouldn't, because we're just so desiring affirmation and love.
Heath Hollensbe:Well, you know, when I think about the one for approval, which is so close to me, Like the greatest nightmare, the greatest fear is just rejection, not being loved.
Heath Hollensbe:That's
Caesar Kalinowski:right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Not being wanted.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And often it's, it's kind of weird how this works.
Caesar Kalinowski:Often others will feel smothered by us because we're just insatiable with our need to be, you know, always get the laugh, have the last word, feel, feel right, get approved.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, you're right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And, and I know people like this where, like, they just, you can see them at a party just gravitate to whoever they perceive to be the most glorious in the room and they'll do anything to gain their approval.
Caesar Kalinowski:And you're thinking, wow, you're a great person.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're a great guy.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now notice that like our desires for affirmation and love and deep relationship, those are good things.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:But who ultimately is supposed to supply that for us?
Caesar Kalinowski:The only one who can give us perfect affirmation, or perfect love, or have a non stop, unending, perfect, loving relationship is God.
Caesar Kalinowski:God is glorious.
Caesar Kalinowski:Here's the G that connects to that.
Caesar Kalinowski:God is glorious, so I don't have to fear others.
Caesar Kalinowski:Jesus took our rejection.
Caesar Kalinowski:Upon himself at the cross and he earned us full approval before the father.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah,
Caesar Kalinowski:like remind remind yourself of that gospel, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:So here's the question we ask ourself if that is our idol of the approval Why do I so desire this person's approval or for them to like me?
Caesar Kalinowski:Did that person or maybe this situation or thing die for me to bring me forgiveness and restoration to my life?
Caesar Kalinowski:No, absolutely not.
Caesar Kalinowski:So dethrone that person or thing a little bit.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, it takes work, man I like we're Kathleen and I are in marriage counseling right now and we actually last night just finished up this like a spiritual inventory of where we're We're scoring and 10.
Heath Hollensbe:If you get a one, you're doing pretty good.
Heath Hollensbe:If you get a 10, it's like you got to work when it came to approval.
Heath Hollensbe:Kathleen got a two, like no problem for her and not a major idol.
Heath Hollensbe:Not at all.
Heath Hollensbe:And Jay, our counselor looked at me.
Heath Hollensbe:He's like, so he, you scored a 10 in this.
Heath Hollensbe:And he's like, that's I see you guys in work to do.
Heath Hollensbe:And I noticed it like it's driven my emotion, like the, the, uh, the emotional kind of problem that I have is this massive insecurity.
Heath Hollensbe:Right.
Heath Hollensbe:And so I, I do put that on others at the need of filling them.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Approved of myself because I'm not getting it from Christ.
Heath Hollensbe:I'm smothering people around me
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, because they're not gonna ever give you what God could give you right and we've had some of this in our marriage as well Yeah, so just so you're not alone in that and you know, there was a time where Tina said I'm expecting you to love me Perfectly at all times and meet every emotional need good luck.
Caesar Kalinowski:Only God could do that.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm crushing you I don't know how that you could ever live up under that and I'm sorry, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:So there again, we're taking something That's good.
Caesar Kalinowski:God created good at his affection.
Caesar Kalinowski:His affirmation is love a deep relationship But we're seeking it from someone else other than God.
Caesar Kalinowski:Absolutely, ma'am
Heath Hollensbe:All right.
Heath Hollensbe:So number three is comfort which is actually One that most people probably wouldn't think
Caesar Kalinowski:of but yeah comfort as an idol, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:So here's the desire that kind of shows itself.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is how it looks.
Caesar Kalinowski:It looks like I need to have privacy I need to have my time alone.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to control my environment a lot.
Caesar Kalinowski:I Desire a lack of stress like I don't want stress.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't want stress Um, I want freedom, freedom of choice, freedom of decision.
Caesar Kalinowski:I can't make a decision like, are you going to come to the party?
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, maybe I'll let you know.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm always holding out, you know, cause you know, I want an easy life.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm always, I'm waiting for, you know, like I'm living for retirement kind of thing, you know, or I'm living for Friday, you know.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, and the price that we'll pay for this comfort is, um, selfishness sometimes.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Uh huh.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or it could be.
Caesar Kalinowski:Really an ineffectiveness in life, like we say no to most things because that we could be a part of or or Maybe being able to bless other people because well, it might not go right, you know, or you know I I just I don't want to work that hard or I was really just I like to come home after work and do you Know right so kind of like the so the flip side then like what is the thing we fear?
Caesar Kalinowski:What's our greatest nightmare in this?
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, it would be stress.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't like to be in stressful situations.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's our greatest nightmare
Heath Hollensbe:Hmm,
Caesar Kalinowski:so I'll avoid everything.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's how I have comfort I can, you know, it's, it's, see how it's kind of tied to control though?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'll control my environment and my use of time.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, I don't like demands being put upon me.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's not comfortable because that kicks my approval idle.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, interesting.
Caesar Kalinowski:Up a little bit, dig?
Caesar Kalinowski:Or pain or loss.
Caesar Kalinowski:I don't, you know, like, Oh, I, Oh, we have this really nice house, but what if we can't keep it?
Caesar Kalinowski:Or like, what if, you know, what if the car breaks down and I have to borrow someone's car?
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, it's gonna be so embarrassing.
Caesar Kalinowski:I had to borrow it last month, you know, whatever.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's our greatest nightmare because we just want comfort.
Caesar Kalinowski:We want comfort.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now the problem, emotion, the thing that's hiding there is often we're just bored or we're just discontent with life.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're not that grateful.
Caesar Kalinowski:We really aren't.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so we've been given so much.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I think in our culture here in the West.
Caesar Kalinowski:Certainly in America, we've been given so much and we've, we have sort of a comfort culture and a comfort idol is maybe one of our biggest ones, believe it or not.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, and, and just so out of boredom, we're like, yeah, well like what's next and I don't want to do that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or, you know, like this will be more comfortable, like, right.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we're just not that content.
Caesar Kalinowski:So what's the, what's the G, what's the truth about God that goes with that one?
Caesar Kalinowski:God is good.
Caesar Kalinowski:So I don't have to look elsewhere for my satisfaction.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the gospel reminds us that Jesus is the Father's greatest gift ever and was given to us and he's enough.
Caesar Kalinowski:He's enough in absolutely every area of our life.
Caesar Kalinowski:So that it fills us up so that we can, if we have our comfort in him, then we can be for others and we can be like he was.
Caesar Kalinowski:So here's the question to ask yourself, am, am I trying to fill my life with things that I believe are better than God or manage my time or my day or my life in a way that's better than God could manage it?
Caesar Kalinowski:Is, is this time or experience or situation better or, or more good than God?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like so I don't want to do that.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to do this.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so you don't want to do that.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm going to just, you know, where does my true affection lie?
Caesar Kalinowski:That's what we have to ask ourselves.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's a good question.
Caesar Kalinowski:And then I'll start to expose it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, do we have a comfort idol?
Caesar Kalinowski:Like we're trying to manage everything.
Caesar Kalinowski:So there's just no stress.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's the easiest possible life.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, I, I think I get convicted for this because I think back to when my kids were younger and I think this was one of my biggest idols.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, if they spilled something, or broke something, or there was a huge mess, or we had to do something again, it was, it was cutting in on my comfort.
Caesar Kalinowski:It was cutting in on my freedom.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're not here for that.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're here to help.
Caesar Kalinowski:They're not here to be a hassle.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I get very convicted of this, and I think God's, I think God's taken an axe to the root of this in many, many ways.
Caesar Kalinowski:But I can feel it, I can feel it raise its head sometimes.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:I really can't say the same
Heath Hollensbe:thing.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I have to come back to that question.
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, am I trying to order my life and fill my life with everything?
Caesar Kalinowski:Cause I think it's better than what God gives, including spilt milk.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I'm sure
Heath Hollensbe:now you're right.
Heath Hollensbe:Kathleen and I actually talk about this quite a bit too, because she, comfort is the big one for her.
Heath Hollensbe:And I tend to not.
Heath Hollensbe:Wow.
Heath Hollensbe:You just outed your wife.
Heath Hollensbe:Wow.
Heath Hollensbe:I know she'll, she'll forgive me, right?
Heath Hollensbe:Uh, but she's more of like a seven or eight on that.
Heath Hollensbe:And I'm at a two.
Heath Hollensbe:So it is, it's working together with patients and learning to serve one another and remembering that God is good.
Heath Hollensbe:We don't have to look elsewhere for satisfaction.
Heath Hollensbe:So good.
Heath Hollensbe:Okay.
Heath Hollensbe:So power is the last one that we're going to talk about.
Heath Hollensbe:Uh, yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Power.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's, you're going to see how this one's tied to control idols as well.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:But in this sense, it's, it's like the desire is success.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's influence.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's that kind of power.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's not a control power.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's like, it's more like that.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's more like influence.
Caesar Kalinowski:Think of that.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the price that we'll pay for this is we'll work our guts out.
Caesar Kalinowski:We'll take on the burden.
Caesar Kalinowski:We'll take that responsibility.
Caesar Kalinowski:You want to sign up for that?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, I'll sign up for that.
Caesar Kalinowski:So my son's first year at his law firm, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:This year, very big, very high powered.
Caesar Kalinowski:The stuff they're working on is mind blowing to me.
Caesar Kalinowski:And it's all connected to the entertainment industry, so it's really, really fun.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, it's cool.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well Because he's a first year associate.
Caesar Kalinowski:He's constantly being asked, Hey, you want to take this?
Caesar Kalinowski:You want to, you want to grab this part of this case?
Caesar Kalinowski:You want to be in on this case with me?
Caesar Kalinowski:And he, and he's trying to make a name for himself a little bit.
Caesar Kalinowski:So this power, this influence idol is right there staring him in the face all the time.
Caesar Kalinowski:And we talk about it all the time.
Caesar Kalinowski:He's like, I had to turn this down today, you know, or I said yes to this today, but I'm kind of wondering, you know, like why I did, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, cause the greatest nightmare connected to this power idol would be a lack of respect.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to be seen, I want everybody to respect me.
Caesar Kalinowski:I want to be seen as the best, the smartest, Johnny on the spot.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's why the price we'll pay will be like super burdened, fried, you know, not getting enough sleep, burnt out all the time.
Caesar Kalinowski:People in ministry, this can be a big one.
Caesar Kalinowski:We want to be seen, you know, we want to be influential in our churches.
Caesar Kalinowski:We want to be seen as the, as the, you know, the lady who's got the answers, the man.
Caesar Kalinowski:with the plan.
Caesar Kalinowski:We, you know, and all that.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we'll take on everything, but then because it starts to collapse, then we'll start to make it everybody else's, you know, problem, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:And then they start feeling used by us, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, exactly.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the problem emotion connected to this is we can get very angry when things don't go our own way.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like I really wanted that.
Caesar Kalinowski:Or how could I give that thing to that person?
Caesar Kalinowski:Or how come that like, I, we just had this meeting and they said, Oh, I just really want to make sure we think so and so like you didn't see what I did, you know, and it's all that kind of stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:You're never getting enough credit.
Caesar Kalinowski:So you kind of get angry.
Caesar Kalinowski:So what would you tie it?
Caesar Kalinowski:What G would you tie to that one?
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:So the truth about God that starts with a G, God is gracious.
Caesar Kalinowski:So I don't have to prove myself.
Caesar Kalinowski:And how we've taught it, you know, and we learned this from Tim Chester is I don't have to prove myself to myself, to others, or God, I have nothing to earn.
Caesar Kalinowski:And the gospel reminds us that Jesus gave up his authority and power on the cross.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Think about the authority and the power and the influence he had, he gave it all up on the cross to secure our position in the kingdom, to secure us forever, eternally in the family of God.
Caesar Kalinowski:Amen.
Caesar Kalinowski:Co heirs now, of all things.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh my gosh.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's amazing.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, so here's the question to ask yourself if you think, Hmm, or to start to deal with this idol of power, what am I trying to earn from this person or situation?
Caesar Kalinowski:What is it that I think I lack right now?
Caesar Kalinowski:Is it already mine as a dearly loved and beloved child of our father in heaven?
Caesar Kalinowski:What's my true identity and authority and privilege as a daughter or a son?
Caesar Kalinowski:of the King of Kings.
Caesar Kalinowski:Wow.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like that reframes it all.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh man.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah, it does.
Caesar Kalinowski:Now you can notice with all these, it sounds like, well, if I could just ask myself, yeah, in the moment it's going to help, it's going to change.
Caesar Kalinowski:But over time you're going to start to rewire your thinking, your belief.
Caesar Kalinowski:Remember we say discipleship is the process of moving from unbelief to belief in every area.
Caesar Kalinowski:Well, certainly with our idols, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:But this is also a huge thing and reason, Heath, why we need to be living in community.
Heath Hollensbe:Mm hmm.
Caesar Kalinowski:I need you to remind me of this stuff.
Caesar Kalinowski:I need when you see me flipping out on a certain thing or taking on too much work and burden and responsibility because I want to be seen as the man or when you see me just like I'm going after approval at all costs.
Caesar Kalinowski:I need you to remind me of the truth of the gospel and what's true me and maybe ask me some of those questions.
Caesar Kalinowski:It's good.
Caesar Kalinowski:I really do.
Caesar Kalinowski:And I need it like not once.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, thanks.
Caesar Kalinowski:I fixed it.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm going to need it my whole life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:Constantly.
Heath Hollensbe:I am.
Heath Hollensbe:Different situations too, right?
Heath Hollensbe:Like you, you even hear the way people talk about their lives and you can, you know, See patterns and like, man, this is a pattern.
Heath Hollensbe:I'm noticing this in you.
Heath Hollensbe:That just comfort thing is really something important to you.
Heath Hollensbe:And if you're not doing it in the community and getting constantly called out, yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:And
Caesar Kalinowski:sometimes don't even, you don't even have to point it out.
Caesar Kalinowski:You can just ask the question.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, you know, like with that last one, it's like, Hey, what are you trying to earn from that person right now?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, I just, I saw you dancing, like you were really dancing and kind of puffing yourself up and like, I kind of, I was there for that story.
Caesar Kalinowski:It didn't quite go down like that.
Caesar Kalinowski:So what is it, what are you trying to earn?
Caesar Kalinowski:You know, like that's already yours, you know, that's yours already.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Like, do you remember that you're a dearly beloved child of God?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:So,
Caesar Kalinowski:yeah, we were not created to live this alone and remember discipleship is the process of ourselves and helping others move from unbelief to belief and what's true of God and now ourselves and then how we get to live.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that, see how it all fits together?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yeah.
Caesar Kalinowski:We talked about everyday discipleship, life, you know, a lifestyle of discipleship.
Caesar Kalinowski:This is all part of our growing and our fluency of the gospel.
Caesar Kalinowski:So, I hope this has been helpful today.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, you know, I'm assuming that there's going to be people that want some actual takeaways from this, maybe things that they can actually print out.
Heath Hollensbe:And we have a free download for you.
Heath Hollensbe:You can download it by going to everydaydisciple.
Heath Hollensbe:com forward slash big three.
Heath Hollensbe:And those are the big three takeaways we want you to take away from this episode if we could pull back the layers of the onion and get to the heart of it.
Heath Hollensbe:Sum it up in three points.
Heath Hollensbe:If nothing else, right?
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah, if nothing else.
Heath Hollensbe:So
Caesar Kalinowski:here, here's the three things.
Caesar Kalinowski:Don't miss this if nothing else.
Caesar Kalinowski:We all have hidden idols, big and small, and they'll come and go throughout our life.
Caesar Kalinowski:Sometimes I think God will slam, you know?
Caesar Kalinowski:Often they're there so that in community we can be reminded of what's true and that we need each other and that God is in fact great and glorious and good and gracious.
Caesar Kalinowski:But remember, an idol is anything that's more important to you than God.
Caesar Kalinowski:In the moment or long term, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like, where do your affections lie?
Caesar Kalinowski:How often does your mind go back to God and His goodness or His grace?
Heath Hollensbe:Sure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Anything that you seek to give you what only God can give you, that's an idol.
Caesar Kalinowski:Focusing on who God is and what He's already done for you in Christ and what is now true of you.
Caesar Kalinowski:will lead you out of that
Heath Hollensbe:idolatry.
Heath Hollensbe:Hmm,
Caesar Kalinowski:that's good man.
Caesar Kalinowski:All right, number two.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, number two.
Caesar Kalinowski:Um, God knows you perfectly with all your idols and he loves you unconditionally.
Caesar Kalinowski:Good news, right?
Caesar Kalinowski:Yep.
Caesar Kalinowski:And he gave his own life that you may know and believe this.
Caesar Kalinowski:Pay attention when your heart is saying, Oh, if I have that or, or then I'll feel like my life has meaning or then I'll know I have value or feel significant and secure.
Caesar Kalinowski:Remember you are a son.
Caesar Kalinowski:or a daughter of the king and your coheirs of all things in Christ.
Caesar Kalinowski:And that's pretty or very significant.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:That is super significant.
Caesar Kalinowski:And third, um, like here's the actionable spend time in prayer, then this is for the bold.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:Spend time in prayer, asking the spirit to point out any areas of your life that you're worshiping false gods.
Caesar Kalinowski:Hmm, and I promise he will illuminate past conversations or anxiety or stresses or desires will come to mind Write them all down as they come to your mind.
Caesar Kalinowski:Seriously.
Caesar Kalinowski:Try it.
Caesar Kalinowski:Try this try this exercise Just spend 15 minutes a Holy Spirit Would you point out, you know, things that are going on in my life that I'm actually, my affections have shifted and I'm looking to other things besides you.
Caesar Kalinowski:Then seek to understand which of the idols of control, approval, comfort, or power are at work here and stealing your worship and devotion to the one true God.
Caesar Kalinowski:And remember too, repentance is a renewing of the mind to what is actually true in those situations.
Caesar Kalinowski:So ask yourself those questions, be reminded of what's true in the gospel.
Caesar Kalinowski:And so now you can go live in light of that truth by the power of the Spirit.
Caesar Kalinowski:Absolutely,
Heath Hollensbe:man.
Heath Hollensbe:And you're going to attach the list of the four idols, as well as the corresponding concerns to help people out, that
Caesar Kalinowski:stuff we were saying, I'll, it's like, I have a little concise little, a little like download that I'll add to the big three.
Caesar Kalinowski:And again, a lot of this stuff comes out of the book, Bigger Gospel, and I'm going to put a link.
Caesar Kalinowski:I'm going to put a link in the big three in the show notes where people can get bigger gospel for free.
Caesar Kalinowski:Oh, nice.
Caesar Kalinowski:All they have to do is just pick up the shipping.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay, fair enough.
Caesar Kalinowski:Like easy.
Caesar Kalinowski:I wrote it.
Caesar Kalinowski:I printed it.
Caesar Kalinowski:You can have it, but you got to pay to get it to yourself.
Caesar Kalinowski:Awesome.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:So
Heath Hollensbe:we're giving away lots of stuff today.
Heath Hollensbe:If you want the download again, all you have to do is go to everydaydisciple.
Heath Hollensbe:com forward slash big three.
Heath Hollensbe:It's beautiful printout.
Heath Hollensbe:You can hang it on your refrigerator
Caesar Kalinowski:for framing.
Caesar Kalinowski:No, it's not that nice,
Heath Hollensbe:but it's pretty nice.
Heath Hollensbe:It's pretty nice.
Heath Hollensbe:Yeah.
Heath Hollensbe:Hey, if you haven't yet been to iTunes to leave us review, we ask that you do that.
Heath Hollensbe:Just tell us what you love about the show.
Heath Hollensbe:Give us a couple stars Uh, that helps us put this podcast out in front of people that we would never expect.
Heath Hollensbe:And always,
Caesar Kalinowski:always too, you can leave suggestions for the show or you can do that.
Caesar Kalinowski:People do that all the time in the Facebook group.
Caesar Kalinowski:So we love getting suggestions for the show.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're here for you.
Caesar Kalinowski:Tell us what we should talk about.
Caesar Kalinowski:Okay.
Caesar Kalinowski:When it's connected to discipleship, mission, faith, fitting into every area of life.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's what we're looking for.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's why we're here.
Caesar Kalinowski:We're not looking to debate church polity, you know, or how you should kick Elder Jones off.
Caesar Kalinowski:That's, that's your problem.
Caesar Kalinowski:But anything to do with discipleship, mission, gospel, fluency, all that.
Heath Hollensbe:Thanks for joining us today.
Heath Hollensbe:For more information on this show and to get loads of free discipleship resources, visit EverydayDisciple.
Heath Hollensbe:com.
Heath Hollensbe:And remember, you really can live with the spiritual freedom and relational peace that Jesus promised every day.
