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Ep 101 - Her Side of the Story
Episode 1017th June 2021 • Thru the Undertow • Nicole Lowell
00:00:00 01:03:15

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Ep 101 – Her Side of the Story – Show Notes

Episode Summary:

Hello and welcome to Thru the Undertow. I’m your host Nicole Lowell. This week’s episode is Her Side of the Story, so come join us as we wade Thru the Undertow.

Thank you so much for joining us today on our premiere episode of Thru the Undertow. (music fade out) For those of you who don’t know, thru the undertow is a podcast that hopes to provide a place of support, education and information for those who seek to assist and advocate for victims of child sexual trauma.

In the coming weeks you’ll hear about different healing and diagnostic tools that can be used for survivors that have experienced trauma. There will also be episodes dedicated to helping navigate the legal system. What happens once you’ve discovered your child is a victim? Other episodes will be more focused on how parents can heal along with their children when faced with this unimaginable discovery.

While this particular podcast is definitely geared towards parents and those directly involved with children who were victims, I believe that many of the topics will be helpful to a wide range audience. I hope you’ll join us.

Because of the nature of the show we will provide trigger warnings and content warnings on each episode page on our website. That can be found at That’s www dot thru t-h-r-u the undertow dot com. See the latest episodes on our home page, or as time goes on, click on the Episode link to take you to a more comprehensive list.

As I said previously, I’m your host Nicole Lowell. Today’s episode is titled Her Side of the Story which is actually my side of the story, because I’m not just your host, I’m the creator of this podcast, and I’m a mother who discovered that her children were severely sexually abused by their father. This episode is my story.

TW/CW: Childhood sex*al ab*se, tr*ffick*ng, m*lest*tion, child p*rnogr*phy, trauma, trauma responses, alt*rs

Timecode points of interest:

1:35 – Today’s episode is Her Side of the Story

1:49 – Let me introduce you to my family

2:48 – My story begins 7 years ago

3:45 – A call from the Sheriff

4:54 – Arrived home to so many police cars

7:06 – My husband was arrested

10:59 – My husband takes a plea deal

12:04 – It was difficult when he went to prison

17:19 – My kids had struggles after their dad went to prison

18:32 – I started to have doubts about my husband’s “innocence”

20:50 - I tried reconnecting with my family, but it went badly

24:20 – My son calls to discuss dreams he’s having. It’s the final piece of the puzzle

27:30 – Disclosure came in levels. Things happened to sister, too. Therapy wasn’t working for a reason

29:51 – Daughter now discloses

31:27 – DA decides not to prosecute

35:00 – What’s been happening with my children since disclosure

36:28 – Covid impacts my children

39:16 – Their father abused my children from their birth until he went to prison. My children were impacted greatly due to the duration and severity of the abuse.

44:06 – My daughter has an NMT assessment (Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics Assessment). It’s an amazing tool.

45:47 – How I look at guilt.

55:20 – The situation isn’t just traumatizing to my kids, it’s also traumatizing to me, too.

1:00:12 – I started this podcast because of how commonplace sexual abuse is in children.

1:01:24 – Let’s talk – future episode topics.

Resources/Links to information discussed: – for more information about the NM Network, the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics Assessment, and other tools they use.

Calls to action:

-         Try the guilt exercise if your struggling (49:53)

-         Reach out to let me know what you’d like to hear about.

-         Reach out to let me know your thoughts on today’s episode. You can fill out the contact form on our website at or you can email me at

-         Support for the show/donate at Buy Me a Coffee (

-         Don’t be afraid to speak your story – to share your truth.

-         When it becomes difficult and overwhelming, remember to take a moment to breathe, and remember that you only have to get through one moment at a time.

-         Remember, too, we’re here to help you get Thru the Undertow.