What if the most radical thing we can be right now is fully, imperfectly human and deeply, fiercely kind?
In this foundational episode of More Human, More Kind, host Heather Hester pulls back the curtain on the heart of the podcast and the movement behind it. Born out of advocacy for LGBTQ+ youth and expanded into a space for universal healing, this episode outlines the four pillars that guide every conversation: curiosity, compassion, courage, and connection.
Whether you're a parent raising brave kids, an LGBTQ+ ally, or simply someone navigating life in a divided, demanding world, this episode is both a gentle guide and a powerful call to action.
Learn the 4 foundational pillars of being more human and more kind and why they matter now more than ever
Hear how these principles can transform how you parent, lead, love, and heal
Understand why kindness is not weakness, and how to pair it with boundaries to build trust and courage
Receive real-life practices for choosing empathy, curiosity, and connection even in conflict or fear
In a world that rewards perfection and punishes vulnerability, kindness has become a revolutionary act. This episode reminds us that being human isn’t about being flawless, it’s about being real, present, and willing to keep showing up. Especially when it’s hard.
And for parents of LGBTQ+ kids, or anyone committed to true allyship, this is how we change the emotional climate one conversation, one breath, one brave act of empathy at a time.
This week’s kindness challenge:
Think of someone who's been a quiet, steady presence in your life, a friend, teacher, barista, coworker, and send them a note or voice memo that simply says:
“I notice the light you bring.”
Let it be simple. Let it be real. That’s how we start rewiring the world.
Ready to go deeper?
Visit MoreHumanMoreKind.com to explore private coaching, join Heather’s guided journaling series, or find resources to raise brave kids, show up as an ally, and stay grounded in your values even when the world feels hard.
Press play now and return to what’s most real: your humanity and the kindness that grows from it.
Resource Spotlight
Book:Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown - exploring the language of compassion
Podcast: The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos (Episode: “The Power of Tiny Connections”)
Book: Born to Be Good by Dacher Keltner — the science of compassion.
Listen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!
At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ+ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and foster courageous, compassionate connection.
If you’re in the thick of parenting, allyship, or pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.
Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.
More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast and space where a mom and mental health advocate offers guidance on parenting with empathy, inclusion, and open-minded allyship, fostering growth, healing, and empowerment within the LGBTQ community—including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer individuals—while addressing grief, boundaries, education, diversity, human rights, gender identity, sexual orientation, social justice, and the power of human kindness through a lens of ally support and community engagement.
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
In this episode, you will discover the one imperfectly human trait that will help you be a better parent to your LGBTQ child.
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Welcome to More Human, More Kind, the podcast helping parents of LGBTQ kids move from fear to fierce allyship and feel less alone and more informed so you can protect what matters, raise brave kids, and spark collective change.
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Heather Hester let's get started.
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In this episode, you'll discover the four pillars that guide this movement.
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Curiosity, compassion, courage, and connection.
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You'll hear how these principles can transform the way you parent, lead, and love.
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And you'll learn small, meaningful ways to practice being more human, More kind in your daily life.
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And be sure to stick around for the unlearn, where I will break one of the biggest myths of all that kindness equals weakness.
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Welcome to More Human, More Kind.
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I'm Heather Hester.
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This episode is a little different.
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It is actually about the heartbeat behind everything I talk about here.
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It's about remembering who we really are underneath the performance and the pressure, and returning to the most simple, albeit probably hardest and most beautiful truth that our humanity is not something to fix, it is something to honor.
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Let's start with a question at the heart of each Everything I do what does it really mean to be human?
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To me, being human means embracing the beauty and the messiness.
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What does that mean?
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It means letting go of all of the preconceived notions of perfection.
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It means seeing other humans, humanity, life, not as black or white or as a series of boxes to be checked, but as a colorful spectrum.
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It means holding the tension of the opposites, laughing and crying in the same breath, feeling anger, clarity and peace all in the same moment, holding boundaries as an expression of love.
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It means being both brave and afraid, loving and learning, all at the same time.
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We spend so much time trying to be together, composed, even perfect.
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But the truth is our power, our beauty, our humanity lies in our imperfection.
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When we try to be perfect, we disconnect.
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We focus on should and ego.
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We become critical of ourselves because this pursuit is impossible.
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And out of frustration, we become judgmental of others.
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When we remember our shared humanness, kindness becomes possible again, not as a performative gesture, but as a radical act of seeing and being seen.
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Think of it as like a giant sigh of relief, remembering, oh yeah, okay, I don't need to be anyone or anything other than exactly who I am.
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The only perfection that exists when it comes to being human is that true connection with our authenticity.
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Research from the Greater Good Science center shows that empathy and perspective taking increase when people are reminded of shared vulnerability, Even something as simple as hearing.
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I've felt that too.
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So what are these four pillars that I talked about in the introduction?
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Well, I always feel like a tool is easier to remember and use when it's in an easy to remember format.
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And in this case, the alliteration was kind of just the cherry on top.
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The four pillars that the more human, more kind movement is built upon are curiosity, compassion, courage and connection.
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Curiosity is the antidote to judgment.
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It says, tell me more.
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Take a moment and think about or remember how your body feels.
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What types of thoughts race through your mind when you are judging yourself or judging someone else.
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Now take a deep breath and ask yourself to feel curious.
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What happens in your body, in your mind?
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When we approach ourselves and others with curiosity, we quiet the part of the brain that's wired for fear and activate the part that is wired for learning.
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That shift you feel allows for the next pillar, which is compassion.
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Compassion is the willingness to acknowledge and hold space for pain even when it's not yours, and perhaps especially when it's not yours.
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It's not pity or fixing, it's being present.
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It's the ability to at least try to put yourself in someone else's shoes, to feel and honor what they may be experiencing on a physical, mental, emotional or spiritual level.
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The ability to have compassion for others as well as yourself is a practiced skill.
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Skill and one that in time allows for the next pillar, which is courage.
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Courage is the daily choice to act from love and not fear.
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In fact, fear may still have a few tentacles holding on and you make the choice to act anyway.
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Courage is really loud.
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There is a difference between being loud and speaking with the quiet strength of courage.
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The openness of curiosity and the warmth of compassion provide strength to be courageous, to be uncomfortable, to speak up, to do the right thing.
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And all of these lead to the ability to connect.
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Connection is the quiet magic that happens when we stay open, even in disagreement.
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Connection doesn't mean sameness.
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It means remembering we're on the same team.
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Humanity.
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It is the heart level communication or that ability to stay connected to oneself no matter what is happening all around you.
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True connection with self and with others requires curiosity, that open wondering of I want to understand who you are.
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It requires compassion, that soulful I see you and it requires courage, that wisdom to acknowledge fear and act anyway.
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Put these four pillars together and you have the true essence of what it means to be more human and more kind.
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Let's take a moment to reset together.
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Let's pause.
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And wherever you are whatever you are doing.
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Unclench your jaw, wiggle it around, drop your shoulders, feel your feet on the ground, the steadiness beneath you.
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Now take one deep, slow breath in.
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And let it all go.
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For a moment.
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Nothing needs to be fixed or figured out.
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You are safe enough to just be human.
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Now picture someone who makes your blood boil.
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Instead of defending your position, ask yourself what pain might they be protecting.
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You don't have to excuse them or excuse it.
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Just recognize for one small moment the humanity underneath the armor.
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That's where change begins.
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That's what more human, more kind looks like in practice.
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This week, try this.
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Before reacting to something online or in conversation, pause and ask, what might I not know here?
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Compliment a stranger not for what they do, but for who they are.
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And check in on one person you've been meaning to reach out to.
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These micro moments of humanity ripple outward and they can change families, workplaces and communities.
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Social psychologists Nicholas Epley and Juliana Schroeder found that initiating small moments of authentic connection, even brief conversations with strangers, significantly increases well being for both people, despite most assuming it will feel awkward.
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So why did I choose this name?
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Well, initially it was for concern I had for what was going on in for us socially, for us politically, and a lot of the chatter that I had been hearing about words that were going to be banned, concepts that were going to be banned.
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And for longtime listeners, you may remember that my original name of this podcast for the the first five plus years in its existence was Just Breathe parenting your LGBTQ teen.
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And I love that name.
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I still love that name.
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And that is 90% of what we still talk about on this podcast is still very, very important to me.
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And that is my, my work that I do and my, my advocacy that I feel very passionately about.
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And I felt like it was time to begin to reach out to more people, to bring in more people to create curiosity and a greater outreach.
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Over the past six months or so since we've changed the name, I feel like that we've really settled into this place of balance and creating.
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Content and sharing information in a way that feels like we've really broadened our reach.
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And, and also.
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At the same time, I still feel.
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So intimately connected to the subject matter.
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So I think there is a lot that's intertwined in that.
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And.
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The message I'd like others to take from More Human, More Kind, not just as a podcast, but as a movement, really does lie in those four the four pillars.
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Being curious, being compassionate, being courageous, and connecting on a very human human level.
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So here is your moment of kindness for this week.
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Think of someone who has been quietly steady in your life, whether that's a teacher, a friend, a coworker, maybe even your barista.
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And send them a short note or a voice memo or a text.
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And just say something to the effect of I wanted you to know.
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I notice the light you bring.
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It doesn't have to be elaborate.
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In fact, the simplest words are often the ones that heal the most.
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Kindness doesn't just change their day.
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It rewires your brain toward empathy and connection.
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Today's Unlearn is about one of the most misunderstood ideas in our culture, the idea that kindness equals weakness.
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We're told if you're kind, people will walk all over you.
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But that's not kindness.
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That's codependency.
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Kindness with boundaries is strength in action.
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It says I can love you and still say no.
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Your action this week is to practice one boundary that feels uncomfortable but necessary.
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Then celebrate yourself for doing it.
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Boundaries are how love stays healthy.
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When we choose to be more human and more kind, we model what the world needs most.
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Strength wrapped in softness and conviction rooted in care.
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Thank you for being here today, for choosing curiosity and courage over comfort.
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When we practice these four pillars curiosity, compassion, courage, and connection, we don't just change our relationships, we change the emotional climate around us.
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And that's how this movement grows.
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One conversation, one boundary, one act of kindness at a time.
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If this message resonates, please share the show with someone who's ready to live A little more human and a little more kind.
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New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday, so be sure to follow and subscribe so you never miss one.
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And if you're ready to release fear, shame, and outdated patterns in your own life, I'm accepting a few private clients right now.
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You can learn more at more human more kind.com keep breathing, keep learning, and keep choosing to be more human.
