Shownotes
With us on this episode is Lynette and Jim Vaive, Co-founders and Partners of Spirit of EQ.
Lynette Vaive is a Certified EQ Facilitator and Master Trainer; she employs effective experiential learning design to make training both powerful and meaningful. As a PCC Professional Certified Coach (International Coach Federation), Lynette partners with clients to maximize their personal and professional potential.
As a successful business owner for over 30 years, Jim Vaive speaks the language of CEOs and uses his personal experience to connect with decision-makers in the business arena. Jim completed extensive training in spiritual direction, along with deep dives into emotional intelligence work. He is trained as an emotional and spiritual intelligence coach, and is a PCC Professional Certified Coach (International Coach Federation). Jim founded Spirit of EQ in 2012 to better address the burgeoning needs he saw unfolding around him.
So what is Spiritual Emotional Intelligence?
As Jim states...
I would say that spiritual emotional intelligence is a blending of a couple of different things. And it's been said by many wisdom teachers throughout the ages that emotional intelligence without spiritual intelligence is two dimensional at best. And spiritual intelligence, when added to emotional intelligence, gives our life color and texture. Because if you have one of those without the other, it's more black and white and two dimensional.
Lynette also tells us...
Spiritual emotional intelligence is the capacity to utilize both spiritual and emotional insight, to create a full and meaningful life.
In each episode, Jeff and Eric will talk about what emotional intelligence, or understanding your emotions, can do for you in your daily and work life. For more information, contact Eric or Jeff at info@spiritofeq.com, or go to their website, Spirit of EQ.
You can follow The Spirit of EQ Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Android, or on your favorite podcast player.
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Transcripts
Hello, everyone. And welcome to the Spirit of EQ podcast.
Speaker:My name is Eric Pennington.
Speaker:And joining me today, as always, is Jeff East with the Spirit of EQ.
Speaker:Hi, Jeff. How are you?
Speaker:Hi, Eric. I'm doing fine.
Speaker:And Hello to all our listeners today.
Speaker:We have a very, very special episode and some special guest.
Speaker:We're going to be talking about spiritual emotional intelligence.
Speaker:And joining us today is Jim and Lynette Vave of 6 seconds.
Speaker:Hello, Jim and Lynette welcome. Hi, Eric.
Speaker:Hi, Jeff. Hello.
Speaker:Hi, Jeff. Hi, Eric.
Speaker:We are so excited that you both are here today and some of our listeners, probably
Speaker:you might remember some earlier episodes or an episode we did it's probably almost
Speaker:two years ago from Jeff, something like that.
Speaker:Yeah. We had Lynette on
Speaker:to talk about spiritual emotional intelligence and as many things in life,
Speaker:there's been a lot of progression in that area that was pre COVID.
Speaker:So that's going to have some definite flavor to our discussion.
Speaker:But we're so honored to have her back, as
Speaker:well as having Jim here for the first time.
Speaker:I'm excited.
Speaker:I can tell Jim, it's easy for me to tell that with you.
Speaker:So let's jump right in spiritual emotional intelligence.
Speaker:Most of our audience, as well as those outside of our world,
Speaker:would say, oh, I know what emotional intelligence is.
Speaker:I went to the seminar, but to hear spiritual emotional
Speaker:intelligence, can you tell the audience what is spiritual emotional intelligence?
Speaker:I would say that spiritual
Speaker:emotional intelligence is a blending of a couple of different things.
Speaker:And it's been said by many wisdom teachers throughout the ages that
Speaker:emotional intelligence, without spiritual intelligence is two dimensional and best
Speaker:and spiritual intelligence, when added to emotional intelligence,
Speaker:gives our life's color and texture, because if you have one of those without
Speaker:the other, it's more black and white and two dimensional.
Speaker:So technically, Eric and Jeff, the definition that we're using
Speaker:is that spiritual emotional intelligence is the capacity to utilize both spiritual
Speaker:and emotional insight to create a full and meaningful life.
Speaker:So Jim gave you his interpretation of that.
Speaker:And I think that's also important because for each individual, how we blend
Speaker:the spiritual and the emotional together has some unique qualities for each person.
Speaker:I like how you said unique, because in our culture, at least I think
Speaker:so much of the idea of spiritual is thinking of a building and everybody
Speaker:marching in lockstep with this is how it is.
Speaker:This is what you must do.
Speaker:And you're not talking about that, right?
Speaker:No, really not.
Speaker:And it doesn't really matter what
Speaker:the religious or the faith structure may be of each person.
Speaker:We've had an opportunity to talk to folks from all over the world about some of
Speaker:these things, which is really added to our own insight, spiritually and emotionally,
Speaker:how we look at things differently based on how we grew up,
Speaker:what values and faith structure we may or may not hold dear.
Speaker:And if we don't have one, why not?
Speaker:And what's led to that at this point, right.
Speaker:So the thought around, Jim, you said the two dimensional at best.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:So that means that if we don't have the spiritual side of it, that we're lacking
Speaker:or that not personally, we're lacking, but that we're missing what it could be.
Speaker:I think lacking is.
Speaker:And I know that you were looking for the right word, Eric.
Speaker:Yes. But lacking may not be the right word.
Speaker:And here's why people don't necessarily always understand the journey they're on.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:They come into the journey sometimes
Speaker:through the back door, and they may be experiencing a robust
Speaker:understanding of spiritual emotional intelligence.
Speaker:They just haven't learned how to identify it yet.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:Well said, that is a lot in line with the discussions Eric and I have had
Speaker:for our listeners about emotional intelligence.
Speaker:It's there, but they just haven't recognized it, right.
Speaker:How often do we say to someone, Hi, Jeff. How's your spirit doing today?
Speaker:Oh, my gosh. Right.
Speaker:Never.
Speaker:Then we would call an Exorcist or something.
Speaker:Some would others might have a ready answer.
Speaker:That's a really good place to go to because we were watching a video,
Speaker:Jim and I with Daniel Goldman and Oprah Winfrey.
Speaker:And when I had selected that video, Jim, I didn't know that she was going to go.
Speaker:The direction was.
Speaker:But if you remember, she kept moving it toward spiritual and
Speaker:the self awareness of who we are at our core type thing.
Speaker:I think sometimes the idea of spiritual again gets associated with
Speaker:religion, and it's really not so much about that, right?
Speaker:No, it's really not about religion, and they're not necessarily synonymous.
Speaker:Religion is what we've turned spirituality into.
Speaker:And so there's an instrument out there that some
Speaker:people have taken exception to, and other people believe in.
Speaker:It's called the Herman Brain dominance instrument.
Speaker:And they have a supposition through scientific study.
Speaker:And it says that there are the two different hemispheres of the brain.
Speaker:One side is mental and physical, and the other side is spiritual and emotional.
Speaker:So what do you think that means if those two things are on the same side
Speaker:and we try to separate it, we can't those go together like a hand in a glove?
Speaker:Yes. And this is a heavy question that we
Speaker:probably won't be able to answer today or maybe ever.
Speaker:But when did that start where we tried to separate them?
Speaker:Is that when we became more religious, or is there something else that you would
Speaker:think that might have caused some of that the separation.
Speaker:I think a lot of it was during what we now know as the Enlightenment,
Speaker:when we began to celebrate just the cognitive intelligence by itself
Speaker:and sort of left the emotional and the spiritual stuff lagging behind.
Speaker:And that's sort of interesting Lynette because when my father died, he
Speaker:wrote me a letter and he said something very profound.
Speaker:And it sounds so simple now, but it's
Speaker:probably one of the most profound things I ever heard.
Speaker:He said, Jim, those things that are unknown for a reason.
Speaker:It's because they're unknown sounds real simple, right?
Speaker:There are things that will never be able to answer.
Speaker:There are things that we're not meant to answer.
Speaker:That's interesting.
Speaker:Jim, if I go into my memory banks, I was watching Bill Maher.
Speaker:If you're familiar with the comedian, I guess he'd be a talk show host.
Speaker:He's a very interesting dude.
Speaker:Atheist.
Speaker:And I'm watching this program
Speaker:from last week, and he's sitting there talking to this gentleman who wrote this
Speaker:book about progress and about how ultimately things are getting better.
Speaker:But you're just not going to hear about it
Speaker:because people want to see it as things are getting worse and blah, blah, blah.
Speaker:But Mar went into this thing where he
Speaker:basically said, it's the same thing with religion.
Speaker:I have this friend of mine who's
Speaker:otherwise very intelligent and that yet he can't seem to understand it pretty.
Speaker:And I'm paraphrasing here that this God thing is not.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:Can I wait you out for a second, please? Do atheists are spiritual.
Speaker:Keep on.
Speaker:They have their own understanding of what spirituality means.
Speaker:And that's the interesting dynamic to the word spiritual or spirituality.
Speaker:We cannot define it.
Speaker:And, Jim, that's where I was going there with the Bill Maher thing.
Speaker:And I really like Bill Maher just to look on his face is like this
Speaker:collision of, like, I can't figure this out.
Speaker:So therefore it cannot be.
Speaker:And I'm thinking, Bill, there's so many things that we just don't know.
Speaker:It's the unknown.
Speaker:And as you said, I'm sorry, that was a little tangent.
Speaker:Was that a tangent, Jeff? A couple of degrees.
Speaker:Okay. Thank you, Jeff.
Speaker:He's being very kind. Eric, if I could chime in,
Speaker:I love this fact that when we're talking about someone that's an
Speaker:atheist, the only language that they want to use is this God thing, right?
Speaker:When spiritual means so much more.
Speaker:And when we're talking about that word, just that word
Speaker:we're talking about relating to or affecting the human spirit or soul
Speaker:as opposed to the material or physical things.
Speaker:So even someone that is very
Speaker:vocal about being an atheist usually can admit they have something
Speaker:else Besides their emotions, their physical body and their mental capability.
Speaker:That's what we're talking about. When we talk about spiritual,
Speaker:no other connotation of specifically a God thing or not.
Speaker:Yeah, well, that's great.
Speaker:I'd like to ask a question from the other side.
Speaker:When you have somebody that does have a well developed
Speaker:traditional spirituality through their faith practice,
Speaker:have you ever run into problems where this is getting them outside their
Speaker:comfort zone or it doesn't fit what they've been taught?
Speaker:Usually we try to help them frame it in a way that's helpful for them.
Speaker:There's a lot of room here, and the universe is vast.
Speaker:There's plenty of room
Speaker:for how anyone's background comes into a conversation about their spiritual being.
Speaker:Jim, do you want to add.
Speaker:I was thinking about Richard Roar when you were talking about that.
Speaker:Richard Rohr wrote a book, and I guess I'm giving Richard Roy a plug.
Speaker:But Richard Roy wrote a book called
Speaker:Following Upward, and this has to do with what he terms the second half of life.
Speaker:Now here's what's interesting about that.
Speaker:The second half of life doesn't have to start at $50.
Speaker:The second half of life
Speaker:talks about when you wake up when you have
Speaker:an understanding that there's something going on that's bigger than you.
Speaker:Because in the first half of life, all of us, without exception,
Speaker:except for those incredibly rare individuals,
Speaker:are spending our time building our container, whatever that means.
Speaker:Is it our job?
Speaker:Is it our education?
Speaker:Is it our family, whatever.
Speaker:Just fill in the blank.
Speaker:And we get to the point where we realize as an example, I used to own a
Speaker:company and I strove to be the biggest and the bestest.
Speaker:Yes, I know it's not a word in the world company.
Speaker:And I climbed up this ladder, and I understood that the ladder was
Speaker:leaning against nothing when I got up to the top.
Speaker:And that started me questioning what's really going on here.
Speaker:Second half of life asks us to start dismantling our container
Speaker:and our suppositions and our assumptions and start looking at it from a different
Speaker:perspective, like looking at it with curiosity,
Speaker:looking at it with awe, looking at it with wonder,
Speaker:stopping and breathing and walking through the field, smiling.
Speaker:If I could tag on to that, Jim,
Speaker:you're talking about falling upward and building the container.
Speaker:I'm sitting here thinking our job in talking about spiritual
Speaker:emotional intelligence is to help people build their container
Speaker:if they still need it, and then to help them let it go for what lies beyond.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:So, Jim, they're more than likely out there Lynette as well.
Speaker:But specifically, Jim, you were saying
Speaker:something about the climbing of Proverbial ladder.
Speaker:They're probably those who are right in the midst of that.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:Then probably are those that maybe have hit that crossroads,
Speaker:I think, Jeff, we've talked about it being going back to Julius Caesar, right?
Speaker:The Rubicon where there it is.
Speaker:And it's that moment.
Speaker:So would you say that spiritual emotional intelligence could be a powerful tool to
Speaker:navigate when you're in that sort of at that Crosswood?
Speaker:Let me take it a step further. All right.
Speaker:Without spiritual emotional intelligence, you can't navigate.
Speaker:So if we unwrap the can to
Speaker:okay, someone who's trying to do it without it, does that mean that there's
Speaker:this I don't want to call it a cataclysmic fail, but certainly there's a lot of
Speaker:mistakes made in that window without it, right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So there's a group of us that are studying
Speaker:the Enneagram, and I won't get into the details of the Enneagram because.
Speaker:We love to hear the Enneagram at the spirit of EQ podcast gym.
Speaker:Really love the Enneagram.
Speaker:Okay, so the Enneagram.
Speaker:I'm an eight on the Enneagram. Okay.
Speaker:And that's a driver, a challenger, whatever.
Speaker:And when I'm unhealthy, I go to more cognitive.
Speaker:When I'm unhealthy, I go to more cognitive.
Speaker:So it's okay to be cognitive.
Speaker:It's okay to be smart.
Speaker:It's okay to get degrees.
Speaker:It's okay to do all of that.
Speaker:But if we are stuck in just the cognitive, we're going to be unhealthy.
Speaker:If we are stuck in just a spiritual emotional, we're going to be unhealthy.
Speaker:We have to learn how to balance.
Speaker:Deconstructing the container helps us to learn how to balance.
Speaker:And Eric, I'm a two on the Enneagram.
Speaker:So when I'm unhealthy, I am helping you so
Speaker:much that you're never going to learn to grow or stand on your own feet.
Speaker:And in this spiritual emotional intelligence conversation,
Speaker:if I'm showing that unhealthy side so that you don't get to stretch and grow,
Speaker:you may always need the container that supports you.
Speaker:Wow, that's great.
Speaker:Kind of a general question for both of you.
Speaker:Jim, you mentioned in the book Falling Upward, which I also love that book.
Speaker:Too.
Speaker:Where you really can't make that
Speaker:upward falling upward journey without spiritual emotional intelligence.
Speaker:So what you're saying is
Speaker:people can come to it without realizing it or without using a tool.
Speaker:But the reason you've developed the Seq,
Speaker:this assessment is to make it so it's easier for people.
Speaker:The Seq is an opinion
Speaker:of people and wisdom, literature and all kinds of other things
Speaker:that put together an instrument to help answer some questions
Speaker:for people that they might not be able to have answers for.
Speaker:And.
Speaker:When people get their questions answered
Speaker:because they're ready to hear it, whatever those questions are that they're
Speaker:asking, they end up starting to tack on more stuff and look for other things.
Speaker:They start to walk through that field,
Speaker:noticing things that they didn't notice before.
Speaker:And when you start noticing things on the
Speaker:spiritual journey, you start escalating very quickly.
Speaker:Your knowledge of what it means to be spiritual.
Speaker:It's essentially taking what may feel like a very esoteric concept
Speaker:and attaching a model very possibly flawed but helpful nonetheless.
Speaker:And bringing the invisible into our visible site or consideration.
Speaker:Will into what is being referred to as the Kovit era.
Speaker:And I certainly wouldn't have, and
Speaker:probably none of you would have predicted that.
Speaker:We see what we've seen over the last now we're getting close to two years.
Speaker:What part do you feel like?
Speaker:The spiritual emotional intelligence,
Speaker:the idea and the practice place for those who are in the midst of it.
Speaker:And I know that people in varying levels of health.
Speaker:But if somebody says, And, Jim, I liked what you said when they've come to the
Speaker:decision, when they said, okay, now I'm ready for some questions.
Speaker:Where does it play do you think in our
Speaker:current area and feel free if you want to talk about some of the things that have
Speaker:happened in our covered area that have either helped or hurt.
Speaker:I actually have an interesting direction to take this.
Speaker:I'm ready. Are you ready, Jeff?
Speaker:Yes. Hi.
Speaker:St.
Speaker:John the Cross, who was a contemporary of St.
Speaker:Teresa Villa, wrote a book called The Dark Night of the Soul.
Speaker:The Dark Night of the Soul
Speaker:is something that our whole society is going through right now.
Speaker:We're bereft of any hope now.
Speaker:I'm being a generalist right here.
Speaker:Obviously, some people have hope, but our society as a whole is bereft of any hope.
Speaker:And right now, we're not operating a high emotional spiritual intelligence level.
Speaker:But here's the cool thing.
Speaker:The spiritual emotional intelligence that all of us have is waiting for us.
Speaker:And it's really about
Speaker:recognizing where we are and what even is one step
Speaker:we can each do for ourselves to help bring that into alignment.
Speaker:Gemini, for example, have a spiritual coach that we go to regularly.
Speaker:And like all coaches, just hearing as we voice what's happening
Speaker:and the reflection or observation as the coach shares with us can be a huge AHA,
Speaker:as we really take another look at what's happening.
Speaker:Yes, I'm complaining about XYZ.
Speaker:What can I do about XYZ?
Speaker:In my case, I needed to revisit
Speaker:my Enneagram type and see how is that shadow side showing up?
Speaker:You've been here before it's creeped back in. What would you like to do about that?
Speaker:The idea of that you guys have illustrated
Speaker:so well is this idea of choices and options, right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And I know way back in time.
Speaker:For me, the idea of
Speaker:having multiple choices seemed to be such a foreign matter.
Speaker:It was either black or white.
Speaker:You stay or you go and you didn't see that there could be and
Speaker:you alluded to something about the field and about noticing things
Speaker:that you didn't notice before and taking time.
Speaker:And I heard this.
Speaker:I'm going to Butcher the quote, but it goes something to the effect of
Speaker:the best way to find God is in the ordinary and not the extraordinary.
Speaker:And I remember thinking of myself and all of my pursuits and all my striving.
Speaker:I always was looking for the big thing.
Speaker:The extraordinary.
Speaker:Oh, my gosh, there it is. There they are.
Speaker:That's what they said. He did it.
Speaker:She did it.
Speaker:What have you and I spent so little time looking at the ordinary.
Speaker:Now.
Speaker:I flipped that.
Speaker:And Jim, you are correct.
Speaker:It's the difference.
Speaker:It's night and day.
Speaker:It was almost like a case of where I'm going to take a guess.
Speaker:Jeff, you may agree or disagree, but I'm
Speaker:sure they're number in our audience that they aspire to a place of where
Speaker:it's all kind of making sense, but maybe don't know how.
Speaker:So you're talking about duality versus non duality.
Speaker:So duality basically says that there's,
Speaker:right and wrong, up and down, in and out, skinny and fat, black and white.
Speaker:Whatever Nonduality suggests that
Speaker:we can have more than one truth existing in the same space at the same time.
Speaker:And with your permission, Eric and Jeff,
Speaker:I'd like to read a quote from Rumi, who is one of my favorite authors and poets.
Speaker:And he says, out beyond
Speaker:ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there's a field.
Speaker:I'll meet you there
Speaker:when the soul lies down in the grass, the world is too full to talk about
Speaker:ideas, language, even the phrase each other doesn't make any sense anymore.
Speaker:In the spirit of no pun intended.
Speaker:The practical side of those out there in
Speaker:the audience who might be going, oh, this sounds so wonderful.
Speaker:You guys there in your studio talking
Speaker:about wonderful flowery, optimistic and all the rest.
Speaker:I was a hippie.
Speaker:Well, so what do you guys say?
Speaker:I know directly because I've known you guys for a bit of time.
Speaker:You encounter people who are.
Speaker:I want to say they're skeptics.
Speaker:They're kind of like.
Speaker:Okay, so I don't get this.
Speaker:I run this.
Speaker:I'm in charge of that.
Speaker:What do you say to those folks?
Speaker:I'm thinking of Dr.
Speaker:Phil, How's that working for you?
Speaker:Cause often while the facade looks great, what's underneath is
Speaker:not going to keep supporting the human spirit of that individual.
Speaker:And back to even your comment just a moment ago.
Speaker:Something as simple as the ordinary.
Speaker:We've had the pleasure of watching a morning glory begin to Bloom.
Speaker:One, and then it went away, and then another, and then it went away.
Speaker:No blooms yesterday today there were two.
Speaker:I can't even describe the uplift to my spirit as I watched that
Speaker:and watch the bumblebees on the butterfly Bush go through their intricate dance
Speaker:and just connecting with those very simple, ordinary things.
Speaker:Even in the midst of all this postcovet stuff that's going on right now.
Speaker:And to add to that from a different
Speaker:perspective, the human being is made up of habits.
Speaker:Most of our life.
Speaker:We do out of habit.
Speaker:And we do that because our brain is not wired to be able to think
Speaker:about each individual thing that we have to do every single day.
Speaker:That's repetitive. We can't do it.
Speaker:So our brain creates these
Speaker:rhythms, these habits that we do every day,
Speaker:and people that are waking up start to realize those things that are
Speaker:serving them and not serving them in their habits, such as Lynnette not walking by
Speaker:the morning glories and stopping to look at it rather than
Speaker:just putting her head down and going to the car so we can come here this morning.
Speaker:And our spiritual director likes to look
Speaker:at us and say, Far be it from me to try to control them.
Speaker:Which is a great statement.
Speaker:It is a great statement and the reality.
Speaker:I think you guys would agree.
Speaker:It's not that you're saying to people.
Speaker:Well, if you are a high flying CEO, you need to quit and not do that.
Speaker:You can be, as you mentioned earlier, about two things
Speaker:can be true at the same time, in the same frame.
Speaker:Right? Absolutely.
Speaker:For two unicorns.
Speaker:We've been told that recently, but I think
Speaker:there are other unicorns in the world too well.
Speaker:And I'm going to do business for a second if I can.
Speaker:So Jim Collins many years ago, wrote a
Speaker:book called Good To Great and the Level four leaders on a scale from one to five.
Speaker:And a lot of our CEOs out there nowadays
Speaker:are level four leaders sometimes because of the pandemic,
Speaker:sometimes because that's all they know how to do.
Speaker:They can physically drag the company along behind them by sure force of will.
Speaker:They're that strong and powerful. Yeah.
Speaker:Level five leaders do that.
Speaker:But add something else into the mix.
Speaker:And that is the ability to love and love in a way that's not inappropriate
Speaker:love in a way that helps build up other people.
Speaker:And those leaders walk into the room behind the other people.
Speaker:They don't walk in at the front.
Speaker:Do you think that there would be? And I
Speaker:don't think Jim Collins went there, but it'd be interesting to see those
Speaker:level five leaders in their spiritual how that plays a part. Wouldn't you agree?
Speaker:They all claimed to have some type of
Speaker:spiritual understanding in the research that he did got you.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So, Jim, there are all kinds of assessments out
Speaker:there right now, and there's coaches, there's mentoring programs, seminars,
Speaker:online, virtual and all that other good stuff.
Speaker:And it's certainly because people are
Speaker:looking for answers, looking for help, talk a little bit about what the seq is.
Speaker:I believe that it's been named.
Speaker:What role is that playing in that arena?
Speaker:I think the main value of assessments when
Speaker:we're talking about something esoteric and also talking about
Speaker:the development of a human being, whether it's emotional or spiritual or the
Speaker:combination is to see something that brings to
Speaker:awareness, something that we might know about.
Speaker:But we may not understand what's sort of culminating under the surface,
Speaker:and an assessment can bring that into the open much more readily than
Speaker:conversation usually can, just because we see data that supports this conclusion.
Speaker:And of course, it's always up to the individual to say, no.
Speaker:I disagree with that. Right.
Speaker:Because what's much more important is the
Speaker:conversation and the thought and reflection that goes into.
Speaker:I agree. I disagree.
Speaker:This is what it means in my life,
Speaker:but not only that we've got an awareness, but we also have actionable data.
Speaker:What are we going to do with this?
Speaker:And I think that's the main value of using an assessment in any type of coaching
Speaker:or work with someone that's trying to do some development of their person,
Speaker:whatever part of their person that happens to be right.
Speaker:So the secure profile, which I think is the one that's quote on the market.
Speaker:Now, one pager
Speaker:gives some high level information along the lines that you're talking about.
Speaker:Is there anything else about that profile that you guys would want to point to?
Speaker:Well, let me just give you an overview,
Speaker:Eric, and then we'll go to Jim and have him add to that.
Speaker:We've got a profile that really takes the emotional intelligence information.
Speaker:It's based on 6 seconds of emotional intelligence assessment.
Speaker:And then there were some additional
Speaker:questions that were added that help really explore
Speaker:the role of spiritual insight and how all of that plays.
Speaker:So in the profile version of the Secure, we're helping people understand.
Speaker:How are they currently at this point in time
Speaker:connected to themselves, connected to the people that they know
Speaker:well, their community, their family, and also connected to the world.
Speaker:And that could be people they don't know,
Speaker:or if their faith, structure or belief structure includes
Speaker:some type of higher power, God, or whatever they may choose to call it.
Speaker:That's where that can show up.
Speaker:So as we look about our alignment across
Speaker:those three major areas and what drives that alignment,
Speaker:the profile goes on to just give what we call the three top SECU tiles,
Speaker:which are sort of the ways that this is showing up in their lives.
Speaker:And when it's debriefed by someone that's been through a
Speaker:little more of this training, they can help ask those
Speaker:deeper foundational coaching questions that help the individual apply
Speaker:this data to how it's showing up in their lives and what they might like to change
Speaker:to grow in the area that's most pressing for them at the time got you.
Speaker:I want to come at this from a different perspective.
Speaker:The.
Speaker:Assessments, all of them
Speaker:are there to help us with our cognitive understanding of our journey, our tool,
Speaker:and the people that are giving assessments.
Speaker:And I say this, you know, they all say you're not supposed
Speaker:to shoot on yourself, but the people that are being trained in
Speaker:assessment should know how to debrief them and talk to people.
Speaker:I want to read another poem, please, to explain this a little bit differently.
Speaker:This is what I think people are trying to understand from taking these assessments.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:It's from Mary Oliver called Wild Geese.
Speaker:You do not have to be good.
Speaker:You do not have to walk on your knees for 100 miles through the desert repenting.
Speaker:You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Speaker:Tell me about despair.
Speaker:Yours and I will tell you mine.
Speaker:Meanwhile, the world goes on.
Speaker:Meanwhile, the sun and the clear pebbles
Speaker:of the rain are moving across the landscapes,
Speaker:over the Prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the Rivers.
Speaker:Meanwhile, the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again.
Speaker:Whoever you are, no matter how lonely the world offers itself to your
Speaker:imagination, calls to you like wild geese, harsh and exciting over and over,
Speaker:announcing your place in the family of things.
Speaker:Great perspective. Great pulling.
Speaker:So when you take the assessment or the profile that you have now,
Speaker:that is a snapshot, correct, make sure I'm understanding it right.
Speaker:It's what you said about yourself in that moment.
Speaker:That's right, Jeff. And no matter what level of report
Speaker:we're going to pull from the assessment, it's really a snapshot in time.
Speaker:So what's happening with the individual as they're answering the questions?
Speaker:Sometimes even the physical location can show up in the.
Speaker:We understand that if somebody does it and
Speaker:they start doing coaching or working on themselves, you can expect
Speaker:to see some changes if they take it again. What are some of the outside
Speaker:influences that could affect that snapshot for the day?
Speaker:Anything that they are working on
Speaker:personally in terms of growth, so they could be doing EQ training.
Speaker:They could be doing a spiritual study.
Speaker:They could be coaching with someone,
Speaker:any of those things that are bringing their attention more.
Speaker:Completely.
Speaker:More often to the things that we're
Speaker:looking at, that spiritual insight, that connection,
Speaker:the self awareness of what's happening to themselves and then something like covet.
Speaker:It's really interesting because this doesn't always just go.
Speaker:I'm going to get stronger here.
Speaker:Sometimes we slide backwards a little bit because that's where we are.
Speaker:In that moment.
Speaker:Our spirits may not be doing super well right now.
Speaker:Where if we took the same assessment two
Speaker:years ago, it might have even shown a little stronger.
Speaker:What have we been doing in the meantime,
Speaker:to nurture our spirits, to maintain or even grow?
Speaker:And is it still enough to offset some of the other experiences that we've had?
Speaker:Have we been able to connect with people
Speaker:was virtual connection enough to keep that fire alive for us?
Speaker:A lot of that depends on who we are.
Speaker:An extrovert is going to need a lot more
Speaker:real time connection with people than someone that's more highly introverted.
Speaker:What does each individual need?
Speaker:But all of those things can be a factor.
Speaker:And I think when Eric and I are using these assessments with
Speaker:the people, we do this with, a lot of it depends on how honest the
Speaker:person is when they're answering the questions.
Speaker:Yes, and the assessments
Speaker:pretty well validated so people can't game the system easily.
Speaker:It's got some checks and balances in the 6 seconds assessment that underlies this.
Speaker:I think this is the last question along these lines.
Speaker:I take the assessment today
Speaker:and then I take it a month from now, and the results aren't.
Speaker:What I want is curiosity.
Speaker:The best way to look at that.
Speaker:It can be.
Speaker:But when I think of curiosity, Jeff, I think of the well timed question
Speaker:with a coach can be much more powerful than self reflection alone.
Speaker:Okay. Which is true about any coaching.
Speaker:You have someone that can ask that question
Speaker:that invites you to go below the surface of the iceberg,
Speaker:maybe even go back a few years where some of these
Speaker:what we may consider limiting beliefs reside, where they originated
Speaker:and take a look again, is that appropriate for me now
Speaker:that belief that value? Is it still where
Speaker:I've always assumed it to be? Because that's what I learned a long time ago?
Speaker:Or is this perhaps something I want to look at from a different perspective now?
Speaker:Because there have been so many other
Speaker:things in my life that maybe didn't follow the pattern I expected them to.
Speaker:So what's the next step for the SEC? Where are you going with it now, Jim?
Speaker:Do you want to take that, or do you want me to keep going?
Speaker:So the seq the way we have it now is a one sheet
Speaker:overview of where you may be with your journey, and it's
Speaker:pretty comprehensive, but it's not as in depth as we would have liked it to be.
Speaker:So in the world of assessments, and I use this language.
Speaker:It could be other language that other people would use.
Speaker:But our assessment that we have now is a Level A tool
Speaker:which you can hand out and people can read it and they can look at it.
Speaker:The assessment, the way we're trying to take it and we are going to get it.
Speaker:There is going to be A Level B tool, and the reason that it's A level A or A
Speaker:level B is because the assessment is going to be more profound.
Speaker:And frankly, if it's not debriefed
Speaker:correctly, it could do some harm to people.
Speaker:And the harm that it would do is maybe
Speaker:give people the wrong impression of where they are going in their journey.
Speaker:That's not what the intent of the assessment is.
Speaker:So to add to that, there's more information in the report itself.
Speaker:It's far more than a one pager, and it builds on the concepts.
Speaker:And as Jim said, it's designed to help one someone go deeper, deeper still than just.
Speaker:Here's an introduction to secure.
Speaker:And how is your life balanced right now across these main areas?
Speaker:And now let's give you a little more information
Speaker:about all of this stuff that we can measure and perhaps some guidance about
Speaker:where to start making changes if you'd like to.
Speaker:Eric, I've got one more question.
Speaker:Well, I've consulted the question in
Speaker:Omaha, Nebraska, and they've told me that it is okay if you ask one more question.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Both of you have mentioned debrief a few
Speaker:times, and a lot of people might think that okay.
Speaker:We're talking spiritual, so it's debrief.
Speaker:So it's going to be like a seance or a prayer circle or something like that.
Speaker:What would a debrief look like?
Speaker:Well, we have to light some candles.
Speaker:Stop a gym. I think there are two major ways.
Speaker:So someone that is not a coach or that coaches with some training they've
Speaker:had perhaps not as rigorous as other coaching bodies that certify
Speaker:they may go through the report and ask questions,
Speaker:helping people understand how to interpret their results.
Speaker:This is one on one. That'S one on one.
Speaker:Okay, the other way is to use
Speaker:the assessment to support the coaching conversation
Speaker:about the individual spiritual emotional intelligence journey.
Speaker:Typically, it's a less linear conversation than a straight debrief will be.
Speaker:They may not hit every page in the report.
Speaker:It may be used over multiple coaching sessions, and it's usually a deeper dive.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:So, Jimmy Lindette, what are you excited
Speaker:about as it relates to spiritual emotional intelligence
Speaker:now, and maybe even when you look out onto the horizon, what's exciting you, Jim.
Speaker:Is that a gong for you?
Speaker:I think we are in an amazing place right now.
Speaker:Nobody can really or very few people can see that.
Speaker:But the amazing places that our world is in transition
Speaker:with regards to the spiritual, we're moving to another level of
Speaker:understanding in consciousness and with people now.
Speaker:Jim doesn't know what that's going to look like when it's done.
Speaker:And I don't think anybody else does either.
Speaker:But people are paying attention.
Speaker:There's something in the air,
Speaker:something's changing, and we have so much promise and opportunity in front of us.
Speaker:So to add to that, I'm most excited that
Speaker:we've made this much progress on the SEC development report, my logical wife.
Speaker:But in addition to what Jim said, there is no same old anymore.
Speaker:So as we look at what's coming up, some of it's brand new.
Speaker:Some of us are trying to recreate the same old in an environment
Speaker:that's changed so much that that really doesn't exist anymore.
Speaker:So how do we enter this new phase of life and of society and of our world
Speaker:with more connection to all of the parts of who we are
Speaker:and intentionally move forward in the way that's most congruent with
Speaker:ourselves with our familiar people and with the world.
Speaker:So well said with that, everyone, we're coming to the conclusion of this episode.
Speaker:We really appreciate you, Lynette and Jim joining us.
Speaker:Yes, we do.
Speaker:As we said to many of our guests, we'll invite you back.
Speaker:If you'd like to come and join our very extravagant time together.
Speaker:You might be able to twist our arms. Thank you.
Speaker:Thank you, Eric.
Speaker:I think I'd like to say something in
Speaker:closing to the listeners, and I think this is very important.
Speaker:We human beings tend to live by expectation,
Speaker:expectation of people around us that they have on us, expectations that we
Speaker:manufacture in our own heads about what we should be doing or not doing.
Speaker:We're at a place that the unknown is prevalent.
Speaker:We are not going to know what's next.
Speaker:I think it's time for all of us to offer
Speaker:ourselves Grace, to just look at the life with curiosity.
Speaker:It's all going to work out really well.
Speaker:But we're not going to be able to force it.
Speaker:And so be graceful with yourself.
Speaker:Be quiet.
Speaker:Be relaxed.
Speaker:Stop reacting to everything that's going
Speaker:on around you and find a way to connect with other people.
Speaker:And find joy in the ordinary.
Speaker:I like that.
Speaker:Like that. Wonderful.
Speaker:Well, thanks again, everyone, for tuning in.
Speaker:And we look forward to the next time. We're with you.
Speaker:Take care. Bye.
