kev:
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In today's episode, we are delighted to welcome on Amy, worked
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with earlier on last year and she's
come on to tell you all her story.
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So, welcome Amy.
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amy: Hi,
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kev: Welcome, Amy.
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Nice to see you again.
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amy: nice to see you too.
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Thanks for having me.
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kev: So I suppose I better start really,
Amy, tell me a little bit about your story
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before you, you got in touch with us,
what was happening, that sort of thing.
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Really
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amy: Yeah, so, well, in terms of the
driving, I essentially have lived in
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London for quite a long time, say like,
gosh, 12 years, so just haven't really
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needed to drive that much, and my partner
does drive, and we were getting a car,
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and it was just like, we'd gotten to
that point where I was having to think
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about, I gonna drive in again after
passing when I was like 17, which I
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think happens to quite a lot of people.
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They like pass straight after school
and then we go to uni and then we
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move to a city And then, yeah, just
don't drive for a very long time.
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, so, yeah, it's sort of just.
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It came around as something I had
to do, um, even though I've been
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putting it off, for years, because
it's just something that it's not
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really been that important to me.
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It's more been like something
other people have wanted me to do.
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so yeah, so I was just like, I'm, if
I'm going to do this properly, I'm
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going to have to have some kind of
like kickstart, which is why I got in
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touch with you guys, because I just.
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or like, I can't do this on my own.
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And I just needed like
a little bit of support.
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so yeah, to get me back on the road.
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kev: brilliant.
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And we, and we'd done
some training, didn't we?
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We We had a, like a, a get it
done in a day, training day.
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amy: Yeah.
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kev: did you find that?
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amy: Yeah, no, it was great.
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I, um, I think beforehand I was really,
really nervous about it actually.
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Cause I think personally,
when I've got to do something.
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That I'm sort of like a bit nervous about
if it's like half an hour, an hour, like
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a presentation or something, you know, you
get it over with and you could be like,
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it's only an hour, but it was a full day.
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So even that was like, quite daunting.
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Um, especially obviously never
like really meeting in person and.
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But obviously we had our like chat
beforehand and that just like sort of
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really helped because we met and then
obviously we met on the day um so yeah it
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didn't feel like awkward and yeah the day
actually went really quickly if I remember
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rightly and we just drove around my local
town for about five hours or so didn't we.
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Um, so yeah, no, it was brilliant,
um, and it really helped
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because I'm still driving today.
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And yeah, so it did definitely do the job.
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kev: So how much had
you been driving before?
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How long since you'd driven?
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No,
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amy: COVID, I went and did some
traditional refresher driving lessons.
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I did like four or five, but I just
didn't get on with it because it just,
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if maybe it was the person who I was
with, but was very much trying to teach
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me how to drive again, rather than giving
me confidence in what I already knew.
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So it didn't really work out.
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So I stopped that and I was just driving
our, so we had quite an old car then.
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and then we got into a minor
accident and the car got written off.
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So we didn't have a car for a few
years, which is why I stopped.
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And then, like I said, we decided
to invest in a like a proper nice
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car automatic, which is also key.
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Cause I learned in a manual and I
think automatic is so much easier.
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And I think that's definitely helped
with some of my sort of issues.
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kev: And when you think back,
can you remember what your
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worries were about driving?
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Because you mentioned that it wasn't
really about the driving skills.
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You didn't really need
to learn how to drive.
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It was more about your confidence.
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So can you remember
What were your worries?
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What were your concerns about
driving before, before you found us?
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amy: Yeah, I think it was partly.
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Remembering how to drive in terms
of like, like things like going
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on certain lanes and roundabouts,
like all that I would remember.
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But for me, it was more like
trusting myself, to remember
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how I, you know, how to drive.
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so there is aspects of the actual
driving, , that I wanted to improve on.
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But yeah, it was more just
like, Even not knowing, not
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feeling comfortable in the car.
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Yeah, and just not trusting myself
or other people on the road.
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And then the other thing was like the
nerves before getting into the car.
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That was like something I wanted
to try and tackle as well.
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So yeah, I think they were
the main things really.
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And like just going, playing out
scenarios in my head that I thought
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would happen before getting in
the car, um, that never happened.
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And then actually things do
happen and you handle them anyway.
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So.
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Yeah, it wasn't like specific things.
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It was more like an overarching fear.
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And yeah, I just, I don't really love
being in the car as a passenger either.
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So it's all like interconnected.
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and so, yeah, I was just like, no, I
need to do something about this and
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just sort of like rip the plaster off.
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kev: I love that, the rip in the
plaster off, it was like, okay, that's,
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that's, that's done, let's get rid
of that and let's, let's try this.
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amy: Yeah.
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kev: sort of things did we,
because I remember it very
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well, it was a nice sunny day.
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amy: Well, um,
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kev: of things, it was hot as well,
what sort of things did we do then that
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made it comfortable for you on the day?
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amy: well we drove around.
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Basically where I live, it's kind
of like a town, it's quite busy,
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big red buses, all of that stuff.
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So I just wanted to get comfortable
with my local area because that was my
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goal really, to be able to go to the
shops on my own and pick up, like, my
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husband from the station and whatnot.
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So we just drove around
at our own sort of pace.
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Go in different , directions.
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And then I think we went to the town
over and I went on some faster roads.
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and then, yeah, we pulled into
a few car parks, I think, and
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had breaks and stuff, didn't we?
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So yeah, it just felt like the repetition.
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was really good because it felt like
I was just getting more and more
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confident on the roads, getting used
to people being behind me, because
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that's always going to be a thing
around here, like it's always very busy.
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Um, so it was just getting
used to being on the roads.
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And then, yeah, I think the one thing I
remember Was I'd not been in the car on
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my own so I'd only ever been in the car
with my partner and that was like quite a
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Like import like I felt like without him.
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I wouldn't be able to do it and so I'm
just looking back at my notes before
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this and I remember going down to
the car and sitting in it and driving
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outside of our building and doing like
a quick U turn in this car park next
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door just because I hadn't been actually
physically in the car or driven it
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without him in there before our sort
of like session at the weekend, so I
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was just like, I need to do that first.
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And so even that was massive and now
it's like almost the other way where
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I prefer it when he's not in the car.
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Um,
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Which is funny, because I, at one
point, thought I would never be able to,
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like, drive on my own and I needed his
reassurance, I was doing everything okay,
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and what should I do, oh, you know, if
something was to happen, and actually,
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when I'm on my own, you just crack on,
like, you almost don't have That person
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to like second guess you or whatever.
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So, so yeah, so I think when we
were doing our driving, it was
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just like mostly getting used to
this sort of area that I live in.
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And yeah, taking lots of
breaks when we needed them.
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and yeah, it was, it was very like.
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Chilled, wasn't it?
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I remember like just, just, you were very
like, um, I don't know, relaxing and,
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and just sort of like going at our own
pace compared to my refresher classes
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where I was just like almost forced
to do stuff I didn't feel ready to do.
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And that like made it worse.
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So actually it was, it was a good pace.
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kev: yeah, and I do remember
that that was your goal.
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It wasn't a sort of like huge, I want
to drive to the seaside type goal.
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It really was.
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I want to be able to drive in
my local area on my own and
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trust in your own decisions.
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So knowing that you could
do it and then to drive.
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build on from there.
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So, and I think it's great, isn't it?
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Because everybody's goals are different.
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They're unique to you.
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And it's made a really big
difference for you, hasn't it?
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amy: Yeah, absolutely.
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even like you say, I'm not
driving super, super far, but
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it's almost like baby steps.
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And I had to start from scratch
really and build my way up.
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And yeah, I wouldn't say I'm like, Gonna
be driving long distances anytime soon.
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But that, but I think that's fine.
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I think everyone's each their own.
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Like some people need that
'cause they wanna be driving
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up to see family or whatever.
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But if it's just that you just want
to get A to B comfortably, or if
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it's like I'm picking my partner up
all the time, you know, it's raining
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and I'm like, do you wanna lift?
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He's like, yeah.
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Like it's just those small
things and he loves it obviously.
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kev: Yeah, it
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amy: Yeah, but equally, like, I was
just going to give this as an example,
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because recently we had, my partner
was having a procedure, like, under
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general anaesthetics, so you know
you have to take someone with you.
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And like this time last year, I'd
have gone with him, but we would
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have got taxis both ways, even though
we're paying whatever for our car.
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but this time I was
like, no, no, I'll drive.
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And we'd not done, I'd not
done this route before.
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It was only like 20, 25 minutes away.
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Um, but even that, like being able to
just go somewhere new and, and be helpful.
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yeah.
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So yes, taking goals all the time.
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kev: is.
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It's fantastic, isn't it?
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This is, It does make a difference.
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It gives you that freedom.
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It gives you that confidence as well.
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And like you say, you're, you're doing
the things that you want to be able to do.
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You know, supporting your partner
and helping out in that way.
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It's brilliant.
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amy: Thanks.
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kev: And I, you know, afterwards,
I know you was, you, there was a
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meeting that you had to attend.
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And I just remember getting the
email back and saying, you'll
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never guess what I've done.
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I've just driven there.
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And it was just like, wow, because
that was that's quite a journey that
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one one or two roads, but there were
country roads as well, weren't they?
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So they're not sort of like in
the town where we had practiced.
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It would been in the country.
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So
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amy: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
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New roads.
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And I think, and that also
is like, it's following the
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satnav as well and listening.
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So even that's a skill on, you know, in
any way, where back in the day when I
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passed, there was no, like, you weren't
following satnavs on your phone and stuff.
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So, yeah.
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kev: I just love it.
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It's a shame that we don't video these,
because the smile on your face when
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you're telling these stories is like,
yes, I did this and I'm doing this and,
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and you know what, I actually enjoy
it when my partner's not in the car.
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It's the big smile on your face there was
just like, okay, that's some achievement
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really from not driving and probably
scared to get in the car as well.
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So, you know, that's, it's,
it's massive, isn't it?
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And the life changing.
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Yeah.
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So,
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amy: yeah, definitely.
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I think it's, it's hard when
obviously some people are driving,
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my sister drives the work, she
drives like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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You know, eight hours a day,
sometimes there and back for meetings.
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And that just blows my mind where I'm
like happy that I just drive down the road
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or something, but it's just remembering
where you were and how far you've come.
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And then like, cause you know,
I think we said at the end.
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Like if I was to ever want to do motorways
or whatever, or like we move further
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away out of London, like I could just
do another day, do you know what I mean?
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And like do it in sections
rather than like trying to
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achieve everything straight away.
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I just, I just, I think you
just have to be a bit realistic.
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kev: yeah, and everyone's different as
well, so everyone's gonna go at their
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own pace, whatever pace that may be.
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And I just, you know, I think that's a
great, for people that are listening,
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to be able to say, that just go at
your pace, do it at your, there's no
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time frame to this either, is there?
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You know, you can just do it how
you feel, which I think is great.
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Yeah, and we talk all the time,
don't we, about bite sizing things.
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And it is that the option, you know
that you've always got the option to,
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let you say, if life changes and you
need to change your driving habits,
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then that's when you tackle it.
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There's options to tackle
it when and if you need to, so.
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amy: Yeah.
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, kev: what advice would you give
someone that's in the position
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that your old self was in?
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What would you, what advice
would you give to them?
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Of
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amy: Hmm.
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Um, firstly, I would say if it depends,
if you're like, it depends if you've
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got a car and whatnot, but I would.
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I was even talking to a colleague about
it today and he was saying I'm the same,
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like he never passed his test, but he was
like, I'm just way too anxious for it.
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And I was like, the first thing
you need to do is go automatic.
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I know it's like a debate and
everyone has their opinions, but
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if you are a nervous driver, I do
think it eliminates a lot of stress.
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Um, so I would say look into that
if you've not thought about that.
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Um, And then, yeah, I don't know, I
guess just doing a bit of research,
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really, um, and reaching out to you guys.
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kev: of course.
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amy: Different things, don't you, as well?
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You don't just do what I did,
and I think everyone's different.
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Like I say, I just wanted to,
like, almost do it all in one day,
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whereas some people might want to
do, like, little bits and stuff.
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So I think, yeah, just figuring
out how you best learn and
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then, like, going, going after.
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What would work for you?
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It's probably what I would say to myself.
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Yeah,
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kev: And it's that Knowing that
the way you feel can change, you
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can change those feelings, you
can change those thoughts and you
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can , learn to manage them as well.
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So it doesn't, it doesn't mean
that how you, how somebody
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feels right at the moment, they
don't have to feel stuck there.
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It is possible to, to make those changes.
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amy: absolutely.
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I think it's hard to feel like that
sometimes and you do feel like, Oh,
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I'm going to feel like this forever.
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And like, even still, I'm like, Ooh,
I feel a bit nervous about doing that.
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Or, but then, you know, I remember
you saying that that's okay to
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be nervous and do it anyway.
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And actually anxious drivers
make great drivers because
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we're more cautious sometimes.
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So it's just, yeah.
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I think.
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It is great to look back and be like, Oh,
you know, actually feelings do change.
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Um, but also I'd say to that, like
making these notes is really key
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because actually it's so funny to
read back what I wrote to myself.
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Just the fact of even getting in the car
on my own and going around the corner.
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Like, that's wild to me that
that was so nerve wracking
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and now, like, it's nothing.
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So yeah, I think making those notes
if you decide to do this journey
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is a really good idea as well.
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kev: Brilliant.
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That reflection, being able to
look back, see how far you've come,
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because that gives you confidence
for all sorts of things, not just for
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driving, but other things in your life
that you might feel nervous about.
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So you can apply it, it's like,
oh yeah, well I felt nervous about
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that, but I can handle that level
of nervousness and do it anyway.
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And it does rewire your brain,
it does retrain your brain.
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amy: Yeah, it's, and also,
like, that you enjoy it, like,
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a little bit as well, you know?
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I feel like, uh, yeah, there's an
actual enjoyment to driving now,
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it's not just like, uh, a necessity.
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It's still, like, it's quite nice
to be able to just, like, hop
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in the car and, and whatever.
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So yeah, that comes eventually too,
which is a really nice feeling.
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. kev: Amy, when we asked you if you'd
like to come on and share your story
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with the listeners, was there anything
that you thought, Oh, I really want
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to say that, or I really want to
get that across to other people?
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Is there anything that we
haven't mentioned so far?
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amy: I feel like I've
mentioned most of it.
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I think I would just say like the not
jumping the gun, because I feel like where
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before sort of like reaching out to you
guys, I was thinking, Oh, I can't do that.
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I don't like going fast.
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I don't like doing motorways and da
da da like, and actually like, You
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don't need to think that far ahead.
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But yeah, I would just say like, just
figuring out what your goal is and it
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doesn't have to be like the same as
someone else's or like also not listening
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to the pressure of other people.
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Like my dad's always the one that's
like, Oh, you're driving up today or
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:
00:18:28
whatever, like it's that sort of pressure.
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Whereas actually, no, I'm not going to
do that yet, but I'm just going to do
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What I want to do, what's important to me
and what's going to make my life easier.
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and then, yeah, just being really,
really strong on that and not letting
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other people sway you, um, or like
pressure you into doing things that you
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don't want to do until you're ready.
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And I think that's okay.
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:
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Um, just being not sort
of like kind to yourself.
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kev: That's brilliant advice.
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Very wise, very wise words, definitely.
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Be kind to yourself.
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I like that one.
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I like that.
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:
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Yeah.
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So in that case, Amy, I think that's
a great place to wrap it up and just
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:
00:19:08
to say thank you so much for giving
the time over this evening to record
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:
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and share your story with others.
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amy: no, thank you for having me.
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I hope it's helpful.
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:
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Um, cause I remember I did listen
to your podcast before sort of
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:
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signing on and stuff like that.
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And on other podcasts as well that I
think you sent me were really helpful too.
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Cause you don't feel alone.
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Um, cause I think with things like this,
you can often feel like you're the only
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one that doesn't drive or whatever.
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:
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Um, but actually it's very common.
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:
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so yeah, I think.
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Yeah, just sort of do like people
doing their own research and stuff and
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:
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then finding you guys was was great.
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So thank you for all your help.
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kev: You're very welcome.
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Thank you, Amy.
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amy: Thank you.
