Today, we delve into the profound connections between music, emotional healing, and self-expression, inspired by Joe Dispenza's book, "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself." As I reflect on my own songwriting journey, I share how the process of creating music has allowed me to transmute emotions and uncover deeper truths within myself. We'll explore the importance of consistency and devotion in developing new skills, as well as the intricate relationship between our thoughts, feelings, and the music we create. By embracing uncertainty and allowing ourselves to express authentically, we can break free from limiting patterns that hold us back. Join me as we navigate this transformative journey through sound, community, and the healing power of music.

Starting new endeavors can be daunting, but embracing this uncertainty is where true growth lies. In today's episode of Music Is My Mantra, I share my journey of overcoming self-doubt and the challenges of beginning anew, especially in the realm of music and wellness. We’ll explore how the integration of sound and self-expression can serve as powerful tools for emotional healing and transformation. I'll also discuss the importance of devotion to practice and the impact of music on our nervous system. Join me as we delve into the intersection of creativity, emotional wellness, and the ancient art of community through music, all while inspiring you to find your own voice and purpose.

Courtney McKenna welcomes listeners to 'Music Is My Mantra,' sharing her journey as a musician and healer. She reflects on the transformative power of music and self-expression, emphasizing the importance of aligning with one's true purpose. This inaugural episode introduces her mission to empower women to embrace their voice and creativity, urging them to make bold decisions that resonate with their authentic selves. Courtney reveals her personal struggles with self-doubt and the challenges of starting new projects, likening these experiences to the emotional journey many artists face. She draws connections between music and wellness, highlighting how singing and sound can regulate emotions and improve mental health. Throughout the episode, listeners are encouraged to explore their own relationship with music as a tool for healing and self-discovery. The episode culminates in a call to action, inviting listeners to engage with their own creative practices and prepare for future discussions on breaking habits and embracing uncertainty.

Takeaways:

• Starting new things is often the hardest part of any creative journey. Embrace the process!
• Music serves as a powerful tool for emotional healing and self-expression in our lives.
• Integrating practices like yoga and sound healing can help regulate our nervous systems.
• Every project begins with a single step; consistency is key to transformation.
• The journey from inadequacy to resourcefulness is vital for personal growth and creativity.
• Using a devotional Bullet Journal can help you track progress and set intentional goals.

Exploring the profound connection between music and personal transformation, this episode delves deep into the healing power of sound and self-expression. The host shares personal experiences shaped by recent wildfires in Los Angeles, emphasizing the emotional toll of such events while highlighting the importance of community and support. The conversation shifts towards the transformative insights from Joe Dispenza's book, "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself," focusing on how our thoughts can shape reality and the power of meditation in cultivating self-awareness. Through personal anecdotes, the host illustrates how songwriting serves as a vital tool for transmuting emotions, emphasizing the role of consistency and practice in both music and personal growth. Listeners are encouraged to embrace their creative processes, trusting the journey as they navigate their own emotional landscapes.

The host reflects on their own songwriting journey, emphasizing the importance of emotional authenticity in their music. By recounting the challenges faced while learning music theory and expanding their songwriting skills, the discussion highlights the interconnectedness of personal growth and artistic expression. The episode emphasizes the significance of allowing oneself to express freely without judgment, creating a safe space for creativity to flourish. As the host navigates through their emotional experiences, they encourage listeners to recognize patterns in their own lives and use music as a vehicle for healing and self-discovery, ultimately inspiring a deeper connection to their own truths.

Through lessons learned from their journey, the host encourages women to step into their power and make bold decisions aligned with their true selves. The episode culminates in a powerful message about the importance of community and shared experiences in the healing process. As the host prepares for the next episode, they invite listeners to continue exploring the intersection of music, self-expression, and emotional healing, sharing a call to action that resonates with the essence of empowerment and authenticity. With a blend of personal storytelling, scientific insights, and practical advice, this episode serves as a guide for anyone looking to harness the transformative power of music in their own lives.

Takeaways:

• The importance of self-expression through songwriting can help transmute emotions into healing.
• Understanding the science behind our consciousness allows us to embrace uncertainty creatively.
• Consistency in practice is crucial for personal growth and developing new skills in music.
• Recognizing patterns in our emotions can lead to deeper self-awareness and transformation.
• Music serves as a powerful tool for community building and emotional connection.
• Embracing the unknown can lead to resourcefulness, guiding us through life’s challenges.

Links referenced in this episode:

• www.youtube.com

Hi, everyone.

Welcome back to Music Is My Mantra, where we explore how music and self expression can transform lives.

I'm really excited to be back here today.

It's been a pretty crazy week.

This will be posting a week after it's actually recorded, so I don't think that I need to say too much about it, except for that at one point I was a little bit discouraged by the giant wildfires that that took place and are still burning here in Los Angeles.

It's just tragic and it's really hard to wrap my head around all of the devastation and all the people who lost everything.

So my heart goes out to them.

I know through my work, we're definitely going to be putting out some initiatives to help community.

So that's all I'll say about that because this podcast is really meant to be an inspirational place where I can talk about stories.

Stories.

I'm sure that there's going to be a ton of good and bad stories that come from this massive tragedy for our city of Los Angeles.

And in the time being, I just want to share that it has been all consuming and it has been scary.

I didn't even have to evacuate.

So, you know, a lot of people are going through a lot more than I had to go through this this past week.

It's a tough place because we don't necessarily want to just not look at it.

But I also think that not continuing a podcast or something like this, even though I feel like I should be physically on the ground helping, I know that this still can help a lot of people.

So I just pray today that this, whatever comes out is gonna be what's necessary, the necessary medicine to help whoever is listening or watching.

Thank you for tuning in.

This is episode two.

Today we're gonna be talking about the book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself.

And I'll share a little bit about my songwriting process and how they are intertwined and what I've learned from the two.

So to start off, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself is a book by Joe Dispenza.

He's a really intelligent scientist, doctor, author, teacher.

He teaches all about mindset and consciousness, how the brain works.

It's a pretty incredible film, and I think even around that time, it seemed like a very new concept that where we put our attention is where energy flows.

Or another way that I've heard it described is that our thoughts create our reality.

If you haven't heard this concept before it can be a rabbit hole.

There's so much information, especially in the past decade, even past hundred years, where science is learning much more about the brain and our thoughts and energy and how it all intertwines.

So this book is pretty dense.

I'm not gonna lie.

It took me a few times to get through it.

If you're interested in learning about these things, I would highly recommend getting the audio that really helped me to get through it.

Just because the first few chapters really go into this, the details of science.

If you're not used to hearing about these types of things, it can be a little bit hard to get like understand.

And it's a lot, it's a lot to.

To learn and to think about and integrate.

But the.

We're just going to be talking about the few basic concepts that I took away from this book.

Maybe I'll do another episode on more of the concepts at a different time.

But this is really meant to be how I took some of those ideas and analyzed my own emotions and how it ties into songwriting.

So a few other things that I thought were really cool from the book is it does talk about how meditation can help you to become more self aware.

And the more awareness that we have, the more that we can actually consciously create our lives because our thoughts are really the building blocks of everything that comes into existence for our life.

This isn't to say that it has anything to do with religion.

The two can perfectly coexist.

Honestly, if anything, having this knowledge has given me a greater concept and greater understanding of God and the universe.

It's not some new age woo woo stuff.

It's actually science.

And there's a lot of scientific evidence and studies that are in the book, which I think are really cool.

Another takeaway that I is like super intertwined with.

Even what we talked about last week is that becoming your best self, any kind of change, it.

It requires consistency.

That's the same thing when you're learning an instrument.

You know, the first year, however long it takes when you're learning guitar, it can be so frustrating because your hands aren't strong enough and so you're learning muscle memory as well as the actual notes.

It's.

It's a process that you just have to trust.

And the more that you do it, the more that you create these new patterns in your brain through repetition in your body, then the mind also can create a new reality for yourself.

So I just thought this was super cool at one point.

Maybe I'll have more technical comparisons, but that's kind of the book in a very, very short nutshell.

I took a songwriting course with Greta Morgan.

She's an incredible musician, pianist, vocalist, writer.

It really helped me to get back into songwriting because I am a self taught musician.

At least up until the past five years.

I really just went for it.

I went, I taught myself guitar.

I maybe had a few people show me a few things here and there.

But you know, in the, the devotion and the way that playing an instrument makes me feel, I just sort of followed that and I just dove in.

I felt like songwriting always came naturally to me.

I think that was really a space where I was able to trust myself and just let the words flow.

But at one point, as I really started to become interested in becoming a better songwriter, I started learning that I felt a little bit limited because I kept going back to the same notes and the same chord progressions and I wanted to know more.

So I was really fortunate enough to work with my mentor, Chris Kapika, who taught me all about music theory so that I could incorporate more transitions and notes.

And I started to learn the guitar better because, you know, at first you just learn the first few positions and then you really have to kind of learn the cage system or start to learn scales and maybe put some effort into like learning the actual notes and where they are on the neck as opposed to just playing what sounds good if you want to write music.

So I took time to get into it and to learn those things.

And I felt like my vocabulary was starting to expand when it came to songwriting.

It was really great.

I have at least 50 different songs, song ideas inside of this spreadsheet that I created.

Just from that year.

You might be thinking, wow, that's a lot.

But I'll tell you a little bit about my process.

So I think that this is something that can be really helpful whether you're an artist or not.

It's this concept of allowing yourself to express, right?

So when I first sit down and write a song, there's multiple ways to do this.

But usually I pick up my guitar or I sit down with piano.

I just kind of play some notes that start to feel good.

I start to hum along, maybe throw out a melody or two.

I just kind of let some words out there.

Sometimes I am not singing words at all.

Sometimes I'm just like mumbo jumbo.

I just give Myself, the space to make sound and to create.

And I always have my voice memo recorder on.

So then if I'm liking this, I mean, this becomes a meditation in itself.

I'll do this for like, 10, 15, 20 minutes.

You know, sometimes the words make sense, sometimes not.

But then I'll go back and listen to it, and I'll actually start writing down the ideas that I.

That came out of that brainstorming session, if you will.

You know, day after day, for a lot, a lot of time, multiple days a week.

You know, sometimes the.

The songs were about my dad.

He.

We had his memorial service in.

Other times, they were about the relationship that I just ended.

You know, all of the sadness, anger, and all of the feelings that come up when you think that you found the best thing in the world, and then it's not what you had hoped that it would turn out to be.

So there's definitely a lot of patterns there.

What's interesting is, as I was writing these songs, I felt really good about them, and I felt really proud that I had expanded my.

My songwriting capabilities.

Mostly, musically speaking, not so much content wise.

But this is how I relate it back to the book, is that as the songs were written, I would Just.

As I was writing them, I wasn't judging myself.

And so I was just allowing the creation to come through.

Afterwards, when I sat back, I looked at what I wanted to actually put out.

It felt really.

I started really judging myself, like, really hard.

And it just felt like, these songs, they're like, these are not me.

These can't possibly be me.

You know, there's two sides to this.

I think that on one hand, sometimes when you're writing songs, like, it can come from a personal place, but it doesn't actually have to be personal necessarily, because, you know, you could be writing.

You could find inspiration in anything.

You could write about somebody else's story.

But for me, it all starts with emotions.

Joe Dispenza talks about how our body and our mind memorize these emotions.

I started thinking, wow, okay, this is really interesting because if I'm writing about the same constant feeling of being angry in a relationship, it's like, this must mean that this is deep within me.

This is not just about the experience that I recently experienced.

This is like a memorized pattern that I've grown up with.

You know, it's interesting because at one point, when I lived in New York, I made A beautiful soundscape with affirmations for an art show that I did.

It was a collaboration with an artist, K.

Her paintings were meditation on the female Buddha.

My music, I wanted it to feel very natural.

I had sounds of the ocean, birds, you know, as a backdrop to playing loops on guitar and then singing.

And it just gave me so much peace.

I started to think about, you know, if I am writing the same song over and over again, maybe it's a different song musically, but.

But content wise, I'm like drawing from the same emotion every single time.

Like, that's really something to look at because even though I'm expressing it, I'm not necessarily changing it.

And so I think this is why I came back to this idea of like, okay, these are my songs, but they don't necessarily have to be representing me.

Even though I've always written from that deep emotional place, it's nice to sort of look at with some distance now.

That said, I still have been sitting on these songs for a year now.

I recorded the demos for.

For my first eight songs in.

In that bunch in a year ago in December.

So something stuck with me.

Usually at the end of the year, I love to review what happened the year before because I'm really big on goal setting.

If you haven't picked that up yet already, from the first episode, talking about my bullet journal and that sort of thing.

Looking back, it looked like a great, amazing year.

But when I'm.

When I was thinking about it before I looked back on the photos, I just remember this feeling of, like, such a heavy sense of grief and sadness.

That is what was coming up in my music.

So I'll tell you a little bit of a personal story as any kind of writer or especially songwriters, because we're actually speaking and seeing these words of some sort of truth into existence, I feel like it's really important to be aware of what we're putting out there.

As I was writing all of these songs about my emotions and sadness, angry situations that I was feeling, and stories that kept coming up to mind, I kind of.

I got into this, like, downward spiral.

A little bit of thoughts about myself that were not healthy.

My dad always thought that he was the black sheep.

And so I felt like that narrative kept coming up in my mind.

There was this other narrative where I just.

I felt like I didn't have a reason to exist.

I didn't want to be alive that year A couple of weeks before I went to one of my childhood friends weddings, I went home and I cleaned out my childhood bedroom.

This was something that my mom and I were talking about doing forever.

You know, she.

I kept one box instead of multiple boxes and in the closet and under the bed and that sort of thing.

A lot of it was just, you know, papers from second grade where I was like, just learning how to write properly or that sort of thing.

There were a lot of really fun cards and memories and I took a bunch of photos of everything and I threw away a lot of things that I didn't feel like I needed to hold onto anymore.

But going through that process of excavation, through my emotions, through my song, through my childhood bedroom, like, stirred up such deep emotion for me that when I went to this wedding of my childhood bestie and then came back, all of a sudden, the pain that I had in my leg just exploded.

I went from thinking that I had a sore muscle for several months to not being able to walk.

I went to a chiropractor.

I went to get acupuncture.

I had to get steroids to relax the muscles in my back because it was so bad.

I couldn't drive, I couldn't sit down, I couldn't lay down, couldn't stand up.

And suddenly I just felt totally crippled and powerless to my entire situation.

Luckily, I have multiple resources and friends that I had already been working with who were hypnotherapists.

I saw a sciatica specialist who works with the body and emotions.

And we looked at these thoughts.

We looked at these thoughts about how I didn't feel like I belonged or that I felt like I, you know, these thought there.

These are like deeper unconscious thoughts because not every day did I feel bad.

But when I was in this session with this doctor, he was bringing up these thoughts and like, the emotions just erupted.

And I just.

If you have a response to some to.

To words like that, it means that you still have some belief that's holding onto that thought.

And so we worked through the beliefs and one by one, it was like just acknowledging the fact that I might have been believing into that slightly allowed me to then think about it and let it go.

And what's crazy is that this was.

This was like the prime example of how your thoughts manifest in your body.

Because it was like I slid into it and then I had to crawl back out of it after.

The only thing that got me motivated to really start working on myself again and then to eventually get my yoga teacher training that fall in winter was the fact that I had my song Satellite ready to release.

I just got this ping of inspiration, like, okay, it's time to do a music video.

And I always wanted to do one in Joshua Tree.

And I'm sitting there laying in bed, barely can walk, and I'm just like, how is this gonna work?

But I just felt like every part of me was saying, okay, it's time.

Like, you've wanted to do music videos with your song releases forever.

You've done a few, so just put it out there.

I put together a gofundme.

I raised enough money to go to hire an actor to get a house in Joshua tree to shoot for two days.

It was incredible.

If you haven't seen my music video yet for satellite, check it out on YouTube now.

We can link it somewhere here.

I wanted to incorporate layers in the music video that would help to tell the story of the song.

As I was going through this creative process, it was just so healing.

I remember when I was filming Satellite, I barely could walk.

I was putting these boots on, and I was just faking it, Trying really hard to, like, not step on a rock the wrong way.

Because we got up at three in the morning to go into the Joshua tree state park and film this thing.

It was wild because not only was I starting to get that positive inspiration back after my super low point of not being able to walk for several weeks, but I was starting to believe more strongly in the positivity and all of the positive things that I had in my life to be grateful for.

A really crazy thing happened.

A moment of closure from my past was that Mark, Shout out Mark, who we hired, was such an amazing talent.

As we were going through this process of role playing for the video, I found myself sort of reliving my own personal experience from when I actually wrote that song, which was like, seven or eight years ago.

Afterwards, I had to, like, pull myself out of the reality of the play of the music video because it just felt like, so real.

Like, even the chemistry that we had felt so real.

Not to say that it wasn't.

But again, it was like these emotions that have been just memorized in the body were coming up.

Luckily, I have much more perspective now than I did in my 20s.

I was able to sort of step away, you know, write a letter to get my feelings and thoughts out.

I actually even Wrote more songs about creating the music video, but it felt more of.

From a place of closure, as opposed to, like, fuming sadness or anger or all of these other really intense emotions.

So I share all this because everything in life is patterns.

If you get the chance to read this book, it's really fascinating.

I mean, he says that when we're driving to work each day, half of the time we're just.

We're not even awake.

We're just asleep at the wheel.

Like, our brains are awake, like our minds are awake.

But we're unconsciously doing the driving because this is a habit that we've memorized day after day of doing it over and over again.

After my time working with Mark going through such an emotional roller coaster of a year, I decided to take some acting classes.

Method acting is essentially practicing different emotions from different experiences so that you can pull on those emotions as you're in the moment and rehearsing the line or saying the line.

I believe it's another really powerful container of a way in which you can express yourself and play out certain roles in a.

In a container that's not your real life, but it can still help you to heal certain things from your real life.

I thought it was so interesting because the actor, just like the songwriter or the artist, I can see where these artists can get caught in the same role over and over again.

People expect that people want to put you in a box.

People want to understand you.

If they can put you in a box and you're more easy to understand.

This is the same way our brain works.

Like, if we're trying to change our lives, if we're trying to take up a new habit or art form, or we want to better ourselves in some way, Our ego will be like, no, no, that's dangerous.

That's scary.

To be able to really move past our own limitations and break the habit of being ourselves.

To become a great artist or to become a great, great actor or musician.

These are things that we, I feel, like, are really important to look at.

Like, if you look at certain actors in Hollywood, Oftentimes they will play the same role over and over again because this is what they are able to pull from.

From their own personal history or something like that.

You know, most musicians have a certain genre that they stick with, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

But for me, I just feel like I've never wanted to be put in a box.

I've always just wanted create what comes for me.

I.

I want to express myself how I want to Express myself.

You know, I.

Sometimes I feel like playing more of, like, a punk song.

Sometimes I feel like I want to try learning opera because I just feel like the whole body is engulfed in this vibration and this.

This beautiful piece of work.

I think it's good and it's healthy to try different things.

Ultimately, the road to healing and to changing your life and to becoming an artist or to becoming good at anything, to start at anything new, it's messy.

You have to give yourself grace to go there, to try different things, to excavate your emotions, to.

To review what it is that you're writing.

Maybe you keep a journal.

That's another thing that I love to do as a tool to be able to go back.

And sometimes I don't even look back at that.

Sometimes it's just getting the words out on the page.

After six months of having a sciatica annoyance and then a full month and a half of, like, excruciating pain and barely able to walk, I have mostly gotten rid of it today.

I don't feel.

I don't feel it at all in my legs anymore.

The only time I feel it is if I get up and I'm a little stiff or something like that.

And now I have my tools to move my body, to breathe, to play music, to write, express myself.

I just hope that if you are.

If you've been struggling at all or maybe things are going well in your life, that you'll take something out of this episode where you can keep going, keep the faith alive, especially if things are hard right now.

There's help out there, and if you're curious about learning more, stick around for next week.

On next week's episode, I'm going to share a little bit about a very close relationship that.

That has affected me over the entire span of my life.

How specific songs have helped me transform some of the.

The deeper, heavier energies into something beautiful and inspirational.

We're here as humans to do the work, so if that sounds interesting to you, stick around next Monday where we talk about all things healing, music, wellness, and go live your best life, healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Keep going.

Keep the faith.

I'll see you next week.

Bye.