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Hi, and welcome to Podcaster Stories each year we will
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have a conversation with podcasters across all mediums and share
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their story. What motivates them while they started to show
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up as a group to show up. And More both
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to talk about their personal lives and some of the
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things that have happened that made them the person they
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are today. And now here's your host Danny Brown.
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Hi, I'm Jaclyn Brown and I run a website called
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Mental Health and Me. And this is the first recording
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a podcast for that today. I am speaking to my
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husband Danny and a, and we are going to speak
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about his anxiety and depression, because it's all relatively new
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to him. So, hi, Danny. Hi, Jacqueline. It was definitely
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weird, but we can, we got this. So w recently
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you were diagnosed with both anxiety and depression. Can you
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tell me a little bit about that, about your, the
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backstory and everything leading up to that?
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Yeah, so I think for the last study, I don't
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know, three or four months I've been feeling different, you
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know, not in good places and it just like, I
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don't know, stress out more and more tired, more, and
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may be quick to snap More and stuff like that.
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And I didn't really put a down to anything that
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I just thought that was either working in a little
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bit later or whatever. And I know it was just
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like a one morning that I dunno, like I just
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clicked, you know, I was gonna work and I, I
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couldn't really take it. Another step forward has made me
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go on to the train station and catch my train,
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got off the bus, took a few steps. If I
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know I'm not good to go to work because I
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had been sleeping really well. And I've been waking up
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at like two to 30 in the morning and not
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be able to get it back to sleep.
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So the fact that it was running on two to
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three hours, sleep at night or two or three hours
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of sleep each night, it wasn't helping either.
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So, so, so that, I guess I was your, your
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breaking point in the symptoms leading up to reaching out
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for help. But what made you just like, you just
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decided not to go to work 'cause you, you know,
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mentally, we weren't ready for that. Were you just going
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to come home and sleep or work from home? Or
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like, what was your intention when you turn back from
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the train station that day?
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I don't know. I think it is about everything. I
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know I texted you and said, I wasn't in a
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good place. You know, I'll probably need to speak to
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someone might quickly on whatever. And because of your background
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and experiences, I knew that, you know, when you said,
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okay, we are going to do this, that probably makes
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sense. And then I would be, so we did want
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to sleep. And it was even more beat when we
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came home from the hospital, you know, but yeah, it,
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it, it was, you know, the goal was to get,
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to get help.
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So, so that day I took you to the hospital
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and I didn't just take you to the doctors I
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took. It took you to, and the dog, the dog
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wants in, on this podcast. So so, yeah, so I
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took it to the hospital and I remember saying like,
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why are we going to the hospital? Why can't we
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just call the family doctor? Why can't they just make
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an appointment? And, and I, I wonder if I had
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done that? Like what, like, what are your feelings towards
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the fact that I took, I, I made you go
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to the hospital. Well,
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You said it. I mean, at first I didn't think
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it was necessarily, cause it didn't feel like an emergency
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and you just felt okay and you to speak to
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someone about feeling better or not being tired of or
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whatever. And, you know, for me emergency like the ER,
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et cetera, are for people that see a gunshot wounds,
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Are break a leg or, you know, have serious issues,
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having a heart attack, stuff like that. So it, to
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me, it felt like I should speak to my doctor
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and maybe get referred to someone that could help. But
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thankfully it was at Ear because I mean, I, I
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know it's a, one of the best its always recommended,
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you know, by a lot of people we know mutually
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it's Recommended as someone on a great mental health team
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and resources and, and I found us since be in
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there, you know?
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So that was, that was definitely a good call even
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though I didn't think that the team as far as
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something, you know, for sure.
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Yeah. And I, I know I felt that way, you
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know, many years ago that it is for physical health.
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It's not for mental health and you never really think
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that your, your mental state is as bad as needing
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to go to the emergency. You just think that you
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can plow through it or I'll make an appointment in
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the future. We can talk about it, I guess if
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it's getting to that state, but you never really think
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that the ER is the way to go. And I
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did it wrong. Cause when I was, you know, my
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story, I was the one that made an appointment and
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you had to take me to that appointment, but I
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didn't want you to suffer anymore. So that it was
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just for me, I knew the hospital was the, the
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right way to go.
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And then you've been a few times since back and
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forth to the doctor. How, how has your life changed
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since going to the hospital that first day
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It's been mixed? I know. I mean, they've got me
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a bunch of medications at the moment, so that's been
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new and the first batch a medication, I think he
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overdosed me a bit too much that I know what
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I mean. This doctor's is amazing. And I know how
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it came out to you in a waiting room. And
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I asked, you know, if there's, have you seen any
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changes in, it says here it is more tired than
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you got it right. And he has my back. So
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is it set me on that? I of course, but
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who sent me on c'mon as a part and to
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start with a, which is obviously an anti-anxiety medication and
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the dosage was a bit high, but you had to
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bring my anxiety, my levels where we Hi when you
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took me and, and he could see that. And so
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you had to bring me down first, strike a material
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and normalized level of anxiety.
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And it just put me on a new course, which
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is more about like panic attack or panic disorder medication.
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Once again more to manage my anxiety. And now we
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can start talking about the depression and you know, what
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caused that? What was the trigger, et cetera, but really
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to try and get you get me to a stable
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place. And then obviously it's putting me on sleeping pills.
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'cause I wasn't sleeping. And they were helping me sleep
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right through the night. So initially I was super tired
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and foggy forgetful. And I think, I mean, improving there
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are those still forgetting some things, but not, not as
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bad as, you know, as bad as it was.
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It was that that is good. And then you you'll
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see some progress, but it's not an immediate fix. So,
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and I think you're starting to see that to, do
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you think these therapy sessions and medicate or yeah, and
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medications or a quick fix to carry these illnesses, which
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we just talked about?
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Well, I mean, is it, I mean I've only been
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gone, I don't know, three weeks, I think four weeks,
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something like that since the first in diagnosed. Umm, and
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I've known Franz, you know, I'll give you one story,
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you know, I know that it takes awhile and sometimes
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you, you don't get rid of Depression you don't get
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it out of anxiety. You'll live to live with a
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lot of you learn to deliver it. And that's what
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a specialist's have said. It was like a slow process.
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You don't expect results straight away even imagine on will
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take three or four weeks to really kick it properly.
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So I, I know it's an ongoing process and I've
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got to be open and honest about how I'm feeling
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on various days or whatever, or otherwise it won't be,
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you know, help.
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I would just go up, you know, but I want
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to get the treatment they need. So I will be
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back to square one, which seems a waste of time,
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but yeah,
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Yeah, absolutely. You have to be consistent. It's just like
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it's dieting really it's for your physical health, you can
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expect to eat one healthy meal and lose all the
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weight and be in shape and it will just stay
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that way. It is an ongoing program and you have
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two to fight for it or do you have to
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be determined and your mental health is the same. I
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would like to correct something you said, because you said,
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you know, you've gone to the three or four weeks
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of sessions and you have, but each session is about
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three to four weeks apart. So it was just saw,
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I thought I had, I should specify that. So just,
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you know, wrap it up or what advice would you
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give to those suffering from any of the symptoms that
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you talked about earlier?
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So he obviously, as I mentioned to Elliot, or you
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mentioned, uhm, go to the ER yeah. You know, don't
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be afraid to go to the ER in and check
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yourself in and especially, you know, use Google on your
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phone or whatever. Or if they've got a mental health
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unit there, the more, the better, but yeah, go to
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the ER and just, just tell someone, you know, and
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concerned about my mental health. How am I need help?
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Are you know, again, you use Google for a local
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resources, a lot. There's a lot of groups, you know,
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a local groups that are et cetera. But I guess
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the key thing is don't be a threat to, to
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reach out and ask for help. I'm lucky. And I
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have my wife who I see a lucky, he's not
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lucky to it. She suffers depression and anxiety, but I'm
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a lucky that I have my wife who knows what
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is, what it's like, what are the symptoms are?
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And so when the, the signs of there that you
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need to help, et cetera, there's a lot of stigmas
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still, unfortunately about men and wellness. And I think as
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long as we keep talking about it and be an
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open about it and, and being an honest and brave
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enough, whatever you want to call it, to get the
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help you need than it is far, far back, or
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a dad just struggling along thinking is going to disappear.
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Yeah, absolutely. That's, that's great advice. And you say you're
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lucky to have me, but I feel the same way
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a few years ago when I was at my weakest
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or, or, or, you know, my lowest point with a
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combination of depression and anxiety and I couldn't handle it
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anymore. I couldn't handle my day to day. I knew
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that I needed to see a doctor and I couldn't
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get there. And I, it was the same thing I
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said, Danny, it's time. I'm ready. I need help. But
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you have to take me because I can just admit
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that I need help, but I can't get there on
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my own. And you were, you were there for me,
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you got me to the doctor's and he held my
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hand the whole time. And sometimes we need a person,
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whether its a spouse or a sibling or a parent,
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just call that one person that you trust and they
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will be your support system and they will get you
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through the hospital visits and the doctor's appointments because you
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do need a friend and you can't do it alone.
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So, so those are, those are my, my advice. And
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Danny, it was great talking to you and I hope
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and the dog to who's growing in the background and
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yeah, and I I'd like to, to do this again
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if I'm brave enough, but thank you for joining us
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yet.
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Thanks for listening to Podcaster Stories to make sure that
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