Artwork for podcast Data Driven
Dr. Julia DiGangi on the Neuropsychology of Stress and Success
Episode 3324th April 2024 • Data Driven • Data Driven
00:00:00 00:56:35

Share Episode

Shownotes

In today’s episode of the Data Driven podcast, we delve into the intricate dance of the human brain with uncertainty, guided by the insightful and optimistic Dr. Julia DiGangi. Dr. DiGangi’s work transcends traditional academic boundaries, focusing on the neuropsychological underpinnings that shape our responses to the ever-shifting sands of our times.

With a blend of deep scientific knowledge and a hopeful outlook, she sheds light on how understanding our brain's mechanics can enhance our navigation through life's complexities. Join us as Dr. DiGangi illuminates the pathways of our cognitive landscapes, offering clarity and guidance through the fog of uncertainty.

Show Notes

00:00 Neuropsychologist studies brain domains, human vs. machines.

05:06 Technology layoffs causing career uncertainty, sparking concern.

08:54 Brain is allergic to uncertainty, scientific study.

10:24 People choose painful shocks over uncertainty in lab.

15:44 Lead life wisely, brain is most powerful.

19:21 Jordan Belfort, inspiration for Wolf of Wall Street.

20:09 Theory powerful across contexts, emotional intelligence vs. artificial intelligence.

25:30 Leadership is about influential emotional signals.

29:22 Emotion sets human consciousness energy, fixing pain.

31:43 Questioning our connection to somatic intelligence.

35:26 Questions about recovery, healing, and enduring patterns.

38:22 Challenges are inevitable, despite our circumstances.

42:38 Emotions are a richer carrier of meaning.

44:07 Transition from academic to public mental health advocacy.

46:30 Talk therapy integrates thinking and emotions in the brain.

52:17 Tired of politics, focused on substance and policy.

55:45 Engaging podcast featuring AI and human mind.

Transcripts

Speaker:

Hello, and welcome to another intriguing episode of the Data Driven

Speaker:

Podcast. Our special guest today is doctor Julia

Speaker:

DeGangi, a neuropsychologist who brilliantly bridges the gap

Speaker:

between our biological neural networks and the synthetic ones we often

Speaker:

chatter about. Today, we veer slightly off our usual

Speaker:

digital path and delve into the fascinating world of natural neural

Speaker:

networks that's your brain. Doctor Daganji will illuminate

Speaker:

how these organic systems influence our ability to tackle life's

Speaker:

complexities. So whether you're wrestling with AI

Speaker:

algorithms or your own synaptic connections, today's episode

Speaker:

promises to enrich your understanding of both. Join us as

Speaker:

we explore the vibrant intersection of technology, neuroscience

Speaker:

and personal mastery. And now, without further

Speaker:

ado, let's welcome doctor Julia Deganji.

Speaker:

Hello, and welcome back to Data Driven podcast where we explore the

Speaker:

emergent fields of data science, artificial intelligence, and, of course,

Speaker:

data engineering. For some reason, Andy has

Speaker:

dropped off the call. I think he's having technical glitches. I will blame the

Speaker:

eclipse on that. We're recording this on April

Speaker:

8th, and, with me today is doctor Julia Deganji, who is a

Speaker:

neuropsychologist who shows you how to use your brain to

Speaker:

do hard things. Now normally, we talk about artificial neural

Speaker:

networks, but I think today, we can kinda drill in on the the neural networks

Speaker:

that we all have or at least we all hope we have, natural neural networks.

Speaker:

Welcome to the show, Julie, doctor Julie. I'm really

Speaker:

glad to be here. Thanks for having me, Frank. Yes. We contribute a lot to

Speaker:

the eclipse today. It's already a strange, strange morning.

Speaker:

On on the way to drop my youngest to daycare, like, just some car randomly

Speaker:

pulled out in front of me when it saw me coming, and I'm like, what

Speaker:

is going on? So,

Speaker:

so you you have, a

Speaker:

book that's coming out, or is it already out? The book was released in

Speaker:

September, late September of 2023, Energy Rising. It was released by

Speaker:

Harvard Business Review. So it's a book on the neuroscience of leadership.

Speaker:

Very cool. And I think it's interesting where,

Speaker:

a lot of the the obviously, artificial

Speaker:

intelligence draws a lot of inspiration from neuroscience and kind of

Speaker:

cognitive studies. What are your thoughts on this

Speaker:

AI? I right now, we're kind of in the middle of a hype wave, but,

Speaker:

like, what are your thoughts on AI just in general?

Speaker:

That's a really big question. So I I am a neuropsychologist,

Speaker:

which means I'm a clinical psychologist with specialized expertise in the brain,

Speaker:

and neuropsychologists study sort of the domains of the brain. So

Speaker:

we study information processing,

Speaker:

decision making, emotional inhibition, emotional dysregulation,

Speaker:

attentional processes. And so one of the things that I think is really interesting

Speaker:

is, you know, the the the power of machines

Speaker:

have already outpaced in so many ways the cognitive abilities of the

Speaker:

human brain. Right? So if you think about memory retention, memory

Speaker:

storage, memory retrieval, attention, processing speed.

Speaker:

So what I, you know, I am most fundamentally, I've done a lot

Speaker:

of neuroscientific research, a lot of fMRI, EEG,

Speaker:

looking at human stress and human resilience. And

Speaker:

one of the things I'm really interested in, I I find this to be obviously

Speaker:

a very uncertain moment, and I'm I would love to talk to you about uncertainty

Speaker:

in the brain because I think that piece is so important. But while

Speaker:

it's an uncertain moment, I also feel incredibly optimistic. You know, what I

Speaker:

think is actually gonna happen is as the machines continue to

Speaker:

outpace some of the classic cognitive abilities of the human brain,

Speaker:

there's gonna be tremendous pressure on our emotional

Speaker:

capacities, our our emotional capacities to deal with uncertainty,

Speaker:

our emotional capacities to regulate, our emotional capacities to have

Speaker:

trust, our emotional capacities to connect with each other. And so

Speaker:

when you think about evolution, species only evolve

Speaker:

when there is intense pressure on the species. So what I feel

Speaker:

incredibly optimistic for is I think we're gonna unlock extraordinary

Speaker:

capabilities of human emotional and relational

Speaker:

intelligence due to all this advancement in AI.

Speaker:

Wow. That's interesting. So you have a very optimistic view of what

Speaker:

it means for humanity? You know, I think like any you

Speaker:

know, most of my work really focuses on stress and trauma, and energy

Speaker:

rising is about the relationship. You know, I it's about

Speaker:

leadership, but it's about the relationship fundamentally between what I call emotional

Speaker:

power and emotional pain. So I really believe

Speaker:

that struggle, so challenge, problems,

Speaker:

even pain sometimes, is egregiously misunderstood.

Speaker:

So do I think that these moments of intense stress on our

Speaker:

social systems, our occupational systems, our cognitive systems is

Speaker:

gonna be easy? Absolutely not. But I think when we position

Speaker:

ourselves to really understand what's going on and specifically how the

Speaker:

brain is wired to meet these moments of uncertainty,

Speaker:

I I feel I feel deeply hopeful. That's good to hear.

Speaker:

And and I think what's interesting is as someone who I've been in the

Speaker:

technology space since, well, longer than I care to admit.

Speaker:

But, one of the interesting things we're seeing now is a lot of

Speaker:

layoffs happening in this field, and that

Speaker:

it used to be that a career in technology was always golden,

Speaker:

always roses, you know, wonderful things, big tech, blah blah

Speaker:

blah. But now I think people are feeling uncertain in their careers for the

Speaker:

first time. I'm old enough to remember the dotcom crash, so this

Speaker:

this this rings very familiar to me. What do you what would you

Speaker:

say to people who are facing uncertainty now?

Speaker:

Like because there's obviously, I think, a clinical aspect to what uncertainty does to the

Speaker:

brain. I mean, I'd like to unpack that, but, like, what can people do kind

Speaker:

of as the drivers of their brain? I know that's

Speaker:

probably not the right word, but as the conscious what you're saying. So let's let's

Speaker:

have a conversation about the neuroscience of uncertainty.

Speaker:

Mhmm. So one of the things that I think is is so powerful about energy

Speaker:

rising, and it's really received I think I've I've been really kind of,

Speaker:

pleasantly surprised by its reception. You know? So my work on emotional power is uncovered

Speaker:

now in the Wall Street Journal, CNBC, Fortune, Forbes,

Speaker:

HBR Magazine. And the reason I think is, like, yeah,

Speaker:

sure. My credentials are really strong and and my I think my

Speaker:

scientific expertise really kind of brings a lot to the table, but what I really

Speaker:

think is happening is these and and so much of energy rising is

Speaker:

about how leaders can navigate uncertainty. I think it's really

Speaker:

resonating with people. So one of 1 and one of the premises of energy

Speaker:

rising is this, and it's a little bit counterintuitive at first. It's

Speaker:

that your brain wants to focus

Speaker:

on situation after situation after situation.

Speaker:

So this thing happened on Tuesday. I got laid off from

Speaker:

that job in 2007. This person said this thing to me on

Speaker:

Wednesday. That thing's gonna happen next Thursday. So do you see what I mean by,

Speaker:

like, every situation is kind of a a new problem to be solved

Speaker:

onto itself? This is an incredibly episodic. I'm sorry. Yes.

Speaker:

It's and it's an incredibly inefficient and powerless

Speaker:

way of really leading our lives.

Speaker:

So all of our our all of the meaning in our life, all of

Speaker:

the meaningful consciousness, and I'd be interested to hear what your response is

Speaker:

sort of a a tech expert. All of the meaningful

Speaker:

consciousness in our lives, all of it, rises entirely

Speaker:

on the energy of emotion.

Speaker:

So when I say to people, do you have a good job?

Speaker:

I don't know. How do you feel about it? Are you a successful

Speaker:

leader? I don't know. How do you feel about it? Do you have

Speaker:

enough time? Do you have enough money? Have you achieved enough? When

Speaker:

All of these questions are fundamentally mediated by

Speaker:

emotional circuits in the brain, feeling. Feelings of sufficiency,

Speaker:

feelings of disappointment, feelings of anxiety, feelings of hope, feelings

Speaker:

of satisfaction. So when we come to

Speaker:

uncertainty, it's very easy to say And and by the way,

Speaker:

like, these things, you know, I I certainly am in the work as

Speaker:

well, so I know how hard this can be for us as human beings. But

Speaker:

when we come to uncertain situations in our life, in our jobs, in

Speaker:

our homes, in our marriages with our kids, it's really easy to say,

Speaker:

like, oh my god. I'm freaking out about this this specific thing.

Speaker:

But the brain is meeting the energy of

Speaker:

uncertainty. And when I say energy, I'm not talking metaphysically or

Speaker:

metaphorically. I'm talking your brain is quite literally a neuroelectrical

Speaker:

machine. K? Emotions, thoughts, there are chem neurochemical

Speaker:

processes neurochemical electrical processes. So in

Speaker:

order to understand how the brain responds to uncertainty,

Speaker:

we gotta talk about what what happens when we get uncertain. So I think the

Speaker:

best way to describe our relationship with uncertainty is your brain is

Speaker:

basically allergic to it. I'm gonna tell you a really interesting

Speaker:

study that I think really elucidates a lot. So this is not

Speaker:

my study, but I think it's still a very powerful study to talk about. So

Speaker:

these scientists bring people into the lab, and they say, okay. You're gonna be in

Speaker:

one of 2 conditions. You're either gonna be in a condition where the machine is

Speaker:

gonna count down 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and you're

Speaker:

absolutely going to get a shock, or you're gonna be randomized to a

Speaker:

condition where the machine's gonna count down 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and

Speaker:

you may or may not get a shock. Now if we were really

Speaker:

I I use this in air quotes because I think it's silly. If we were

Speaker:

really rational human beings, we would all choose to be

Speaker:

in the first condition. I'm sorry. We would we'd rather be in the in the

Speaker:

second condition where there's a good chance that we could get away without getting an

Speaker:

electrical shock. But people statistically

Speaker:

prefer to be in the condition where they are absolutely

Speaker:

certain they are going to get a shock. Really? What

Speaker:

does this what does this tell you? Well, I think people like to kinda, like,

Speaker:

laugh and roll their eyes and say human beings are so irrational. Human

Speaker:

beings are not irrational. The brain is the most extraordinary machine on the

Speaker:

planet, and this experiment tells us something very powerful. There

Speaker:

are moments in our lives where the pain the

Speaker:

emotional pain of uncertainty is more

Speaker:

painful than actually getting a physical shock.

Speaker:

Interesting. And the the part that kinda tickles me

Speaker:

about this experiment is, you know, these people are showing up to do these experiments,

Speaker:

you know, at the University of Iowa, you know, the University of, you know, New

Speaker:

York University, UCLA. Like, people are going into a lab

Speaker:

for 30 minutes. In other words, they know they ain't dying that day.

Speaker:

It's a really safe, controlled environment. So if you so even

Speaker:

in this really controlled environment and by the way, we did have these electrical shock

Speaker:

machines in my lab. And as as the name suggests,

Speaker:

the shock is very painful. So even

Speaker:

in a a contextually very safe,

Speaker:

reasonable environment, people are still saying, give me

Speaker:

the shock, then give me the experience where I have to

Speaker:

sit with my own feelings of uncertainty. Wow. If

Speaker:

you transpose that out into the real world where the stakes are so

Speaker:

much higher, our relationships, our jobs, our

Speaker:

careers, our sense of self. You can see

Speaker:

just how powerful this energy of uncertainty is

Speaker:

and why it's really quite important that we learn to handle it powerfully.

Speaker:

That's interesting. So do you think we're running towards certainty or away

Speaker:

from uncertainty or some combination, or it doesn't

Speaker:

matter? Yeah. I don't know that I think that that is a meaningful distinction, but

Speaker:

I will tell you what I do think is so meaningful. If I had one

Speaker:

word to describe all of my work. Right? I've been I've been really put on

Speaker:

this planet to talk about the brain,

Speaker:

emotional power, and emotional pain. This is I just some of us find our calling.

Speaker:

I really have found mine. If I had

Speaker:

to give one word to describe all of my work, I would say either

Speaker:

counterintuitive or opposite.

Speaker:

Okay? So a very useful way so if I keep saying the brain is a

Speaker:

machine, we you know, our cell phones are a machine,

Speaker:

Computers are machines. I think a really powerful question is, like,

Speaker:

okay. Well, what what does the machine do? Like, when I pick up my cell

Speaker:

phone, I know I can text people on this thing. I can call. So what

Speaker:

does this what does this brain machine do? Your

Speaker:

brain is in the business. It is a pattern detection

Speaker:

machine. K? So it is literally

Speaker:

bringing you through your life going apple, apple, apple, fill in the

Speaker:

blank. I predict it should be an apple.

Speaker:

Now you can see that space between apple apple apple fill in the blank

Speaker:

is what we call uncertainty. It just means

Speaker:

it's agnostic to meaning. In other words, it's just empty. It's not

Speaker:

good. It's not bad. It's not scary. It's not happy. It's just

Speaker:

empty. But the future, by definition,

Speaker:

is uncertain. So the brain

Speaker:

is gonna say, okay. I'm gonna meet this this empty space, this emotionally

Speaker:

agnostic space, and I'm gonna predict. And if it was apple,

Speaker:

apple, apple, apple, 1700 times already, I'm gonna predict that

Speaker:

it's gonna be an apple. Now could it have been a banana?

Speaker:

Sure. Could it have been a cup of coffee? Sure. Could it

Speaker:

have been a puppy? Sure. But the brain is gonna predict

Speaker:

what it it's gonna superimpose the past on the future.

Speaker:

So when we want this is such a big point I'm gonna make, especially

Speaker:

for leaders and people who are really, like, thinking about the well-being of other

Speaker:

people. If we want to make

Speaker:

powerful changes in our lives, on our teams, and our organizations,

Speaker:

we have got to break the pattern. And in the breaking

Speaker:

of the pattern, your brain will say that is

Speaker:

wrong. Do not do that. And though

Speaker:

because the brain is more fun it's it's firstly an an engine

Speaker:

of feeling way, way before it's an engine of feel of thinking,

Speaker:

when your brain goes to lead in a new way or try a new thing

Speaker:

or basically be different, the sensation, the

Speaker:

emotional energy in your body is going to feel

Speaker:

like bad, like anxiety, like dread,

Speaker:

like fear, like stress. And if you as a leader don't

Speaker:

intelligently know this is emotional intelligence is thinking intelligently

Speaker:

about emotion. If you don't know how to meet these sensations that

Speaker:

first and foremost start in your own body, you're not

Speaker:

gonna be able to lead anybody anywhere because you're not even gonna be able to

Speaker:

lead yourself. Wow. That

Speaker:

that's a good point because I know when I'm feeling uncertain or I'm feeling

Speaker:

confused. And this this impacts a lot of things. Right?

Speaker:

Not just leadership, but I would say also sales, which I suppose is a kind

Speaker:

of leadership. If you're trying to sell and you're not certain of the

Speaker:

product, I think we've all been in those situations where we've been on the other

Speaker:

end of that equation where we're being sold to and the person's not clear, and

Speaker:

you could smell that from a 100 miles away. 100 miles away. You know, I

Speaker:

always paint myself into a corner. I sometimes say, like, I should stop using

Speaker:

this term leader because you're right. It has, like we all have this, like,

Speaker:

coding around what's, like, the the CEO of a 40,000 person

Speaker:

company. I, you know, as as a neuropsychologist, I think

Speaker:

have a a very powerful and and sort of radical definition of

Speaker:

leadership. Leadership is quite simply my

Speaker:

own ability to use my own energy

Speaker:

to have an impact on my own life. So we're

Speaker:

all leading our lives. How good we're doing it, how bad we're doing it, that's

Speaker:

a very separate question. But the reality is whether I get up in the morning

Speaker:

and take over the world or get or refuse to get out of bed in

Speaker:

the morning, this is still how I'm leading my life. And I

Speaker:

think a lot of times what we try to do is we we forget that

Speaker:

the thing that's ultimately driving our lives is our brain.

Speaker:

So that we we get a real I always say the brain is the most

Speaker:

powerful machine you will ever loan own, so operate wisely.

Speaker:

So a lot of times what we try to do as

Speaker:

people in relationships, and this this relates to your sales

Speaker:

point, is we try to get other people to have

Speaker:

we don't we might not be conscious of this, but an emotional experience.

Speaker:

But we're not actually having that emotional experience. So in other

Speaker:

words, I hey, Frank. I need you to believe this, but I don't believe

Speaker:

it. I'm brought into large corporations. I I coach really

Speaker:

senior leaders. I work with entrepreneurs all the time. I do. And I would

Speaker:

say the fundamental question people start to ask me

Speaker:

is how do I get these other people to behave differently?

Speaker:

How and it'll say things like, how do I get them more engaged? How do

Speaker:

I get them more motivated? How do I get them more interested? How I'm sure

Speaker:

you can you can relate to this. Right? Not just not just at work, but

Speaker:

I'm just thinking getting my kids to put their laundry away. Like Oh,

Speaker:

we could yes. And what's so beautiful about the brain is it sits at

Speaker:

the top of the hierarchy. It's the most upstream thing. So if if we can

Speaker:

get the neuroscience of relationships that work down, we can get the

Speaker:

neuroscience of our marriages to work. We can get the neuroscience of our parenting to

Speaker:

work. We get the neuroscience of our social behavior on social media to

Speaker:

work. So my point here, though, is that a lot of times what

Speaker:

we're saying to people is, like, I need you to believe, but I don't believe.

Speaker:

Right. I need you to be motivated, but I'm not motivated.

Speaker:

I need the I need you to be more honest. But I'm if I'm

Speaker:

really honest, I'm not being transparent. Or

Speaker:

else, these people, they're just so uncooperative.

Speaker:

Won't cooperate, while failing to look at plenty of clear

Speaker:

examples in my own life where I failed to be cooperative.

Speaker:

Now, here's the truth about what we know about emotional energy,

Speaker:

is we know neuroscience tells us very clearly that emotions

Speaker:

are are universal and primary language. We came all came

Speaker:

into this world speaking natively a language of emotion. That's how

Speaker:

we communicated from the second we were born. K? And

Speaker:

we understand as herd animals, as mammals,

Speaker:

that emotions are a thing of contagion.

Speaker:

We coregulate with each other. We catch each other's emotions like we catch a

Speaker:

cold. So plenty of times, the the

Speaker:

salesperson will be confused or bored or this is a

Speaker:

big one I see if I'm being really honest because I do a lot of

Speaker:

work with sales and entrepreneurs, is they don't really believe it.

Speaker:

Well, how in the world are you gonna get somebody to catch your

Speaker:

emotional energy if you don't first feel the fire inside of yourself?

Speaker:

That is an excellent point. That is that mean, there was another one

Speaker:

of the the sales gurus that I follow, and and you you work with the

Speaker:

this crowd. You know, there's there's kind of, like, different schools of thoughts and different

Speaker:

directions and different personalities. You know,

Speaker:

he he points out that if you are yourself in sales and you're

Speaker:

successful, you tend to be an easy person to sell

Speaker:

to because you're always looking for something. Like, the way

Speaker:

he phrases it way better than me, that's probably why he has his own private

Speaker:

jet and beachfront property and stuff like that. But, but

Speaker:

Who is this that says this? It was, Jordan Belfort, actually.

Speaker:

Most famous in the well, you you nodded in recognition. But for those who don't

Speaker:

know, the inspiration or,

Speaker:

behind the the the movie Wolf of Wall Street. And the

Speaker:

way he phrases it was pretty, like, you know, because I'm an easy person to

Speaker:

sell to, but he contrasted that with his father who was

Speaker:

not. And he's a his father was someone who was very hard

Speaker:

to sell to. Right? So he kinda says, like, if your barrier or,

Speaker:

the exact word was something along, threshold of action is

Speaker:

low, you're a very easy

Speaker:

person to to get into the sales world and you're easy person to be sold

Speaker:

to. If your barrier to action, threshold to action is

Speaker:

high, then that's the opposite is true.

Speaker:

It's it's it's totally true. And what I what I want people to see here

Speaker:

because I think it makes it you know, theory is no good

Speaker:

if this theory only works on a Monday

Speaker:

when there's a lunar eclipse that only happens every 40 years at

Speaker:

exact it's like who gives it. Right? So theory is

Speaker:

the theory is more powerful when it works

Speaker:

across more contexts. So what you did the example you just

Speaker:

gave with Jordan Belfort in him basically saying, like, part of the reason I'm

Speaker:

a great salesperson is because, like, I both I I'm willing

Speaker:

both to sell and to be sold to. You will see the

Speaker:

same energy in other leadership dynamics at work, and you

Speaker:

see the same energy in homes. Like, I think the classic one

Speaker:

that people can, like, almost laugh because we can all resonate with it

Speaker:

is how many times has someone shouted at you,

Speaker:

you start to get upset and, like, someone says, do you just need to calm

Speaker:

down? It's like never in the history of

Speaker:

human beings calming down has someone shouting calm down

Speaker:

at you actually got you to calm down. Why?

Speaker:

Because what it doesn't matter the words coming out of your mouth. I mean, you

Speaker:

you wanna talk about emotional intelligence versus, artificial

Speaker:

intelligence. It does the the words coming out of my

Speaker:

mouth are like a secondary or a tertiary language. And you know this is

Speaker:

true because plenty of times, you've had someone say,

Speaker:

I'm sorry. Yeah.

Speaker:

I heard those words coming out of your mouth, but that felt like

Speaker:

the furthest thing from an apology. Because once

Speaker:

again, emotions are the native and universal language

Speaker:

of the human being. You see? So

Speaker:

and if if we're serious about building something of meaning in our

Speaker:

life, we gotta tell the

Speaker:

emotional truth, and we gotta know what to do because this is the other piece.

Speaker:

So energy rising is is the book again that I just wrote, and I think

Speaker:

it's really an extraordinary book because it shows people how to really work

Speaker:

with their with their emotions. On the good days,

Speaker:

on the days when things are working, the days when people are listening, the days

Speaker:

when people are buying, I don't really need any help. There's just enough momentum being

Speaker:

generated. And There's just enough

Speaker:

momentum being generated. And if I'm really honest about it, not that I didn't contribute

Speaker:

to that momentum, but a lot of other people are paying into

Speaker:

my momentum. You see? When my kids just get in the car, when I say

Speaker:

get in the car, when my customers just buy, when my etcetera, etcetera.

Speaker:

Yeah. But you were, like, centered in, not for lack of better term. You were

Speaker:

centered in that, like, get in the car. Yeah. Right? And I I've

Speaker:

noticed even even dogs do that too. Right? I have bunch of dogs and, like,

Speaker:

they can tell when I'm serious and when I'm not.

Speaker:

Right? Oh, right. The kids can too. Well, that goes back to this idea of

Speaker:

emotions being, like, the this energy of contagion. When I really mean it, get

Speaker:

in the car. There's, like, a different frequency that I emit

Speaker:

as opposed to when I'm like, can can you it's like more of a

Speaker:

question. Right? Would you kindly go in the car? Yeah. People

Speaker:

think it's a good idea to get in the car now. Right? Right.

Speaker:

But the the piece I wanna make here is that when when

Speaker:

we're having good days, when we're in our good feelings,

Speaker:

things there just tends to be a natural flow. So if we're

Speaker:

interested in power in our lives, there is a fundamental

Speaker:

question. And, guys, this question is so powerful.

Speaker:

It has the power to change the direction of the world.

Speaker:

Who do I become in the energy of my my painful

Speaker:

emotions? Who do I become when I

Speaker:

start to get triggered? Who do I become when I start to get anxious? Who

Speaker:

do I become when I start to get stressed? Who do I become when I

Speaker:

start to get afraid? If you don't have an answer to that question,

Speaker:

you are at the mercy of

Speaker:

these kind of emotional storms.

Speaker:

Emotions are both to some degree predictable. We we can have

Speaker:

a somewhat controlling relationship with them, but they're like weather. You

Speaker:

cannot perfectly control them. So if you don't know how to answer the

Speaker:

question, who do I become in the energy of doubt,

Speaker:

uncertainty, fear, and stress, you can't

Speaker:

live a powerful life. That is very profound.

Speaker:

And I know we don't have all the time today,

Speaker:

but, one of the most impactful events in my life

Speaker:

personally was I was at the trade center on 911.

Speaker:

And I you know, when you talked about trauma, I was like,

Speaker:

I have a lot of questions. But but You have to

Speaker:

ask them. But, but no. You mean, you're right. Like, you know,

Speaker:

like, who you are in those moments when it's raining bullets is really

Speaker:

who you are. You know, when the weather is awesome and it's

Speaker:

great, like, I mean, anybody could be nice, but, like, when

Speaker:

when it's poor and hell and rain fire, like,

Speaker:

that's who you really are. Lincoln has a quote, like, if you really wanna

Speaker:

understand distributed him, you know,

Speaker:

give somebody power, then you really understand them. But I say no. I think you

Speaker:

really understand someone when it's raining bullets and who

Speaker:

comes out. Is it, I guess, a leader or someone

Speaker:

that or is it just someone who will just lash out everyone around them?

Speaker:

I think. Yeah. Yep. And then, you

Speaker:

know, I I think a really useful definition for leadership and,

Speaker:

again, like, don't get I want your listeners to not get attached to, like, it

Speaker:

doesn't matter if you're leading 25 people or it's just this idea

Speaker:

of, like, do I wanna be powerful in my own life?

Speaker:

Well, the most powerful person so my work, if I had to say, like, what

Speaker:

is my work, my fundamental expertise, it's really the relationship between the brain,

Speaker:

emotions, and relationships. So I work across all human relationships.

Speaker:

Entrepreneurs, c suite of big companies, individuals,

Speaker:

families, parents. And so there's

Speaker:

this idea here of, you know, like, if

Speaker:

I really want to be

Speaker:

have effect, have influence, have power

Speaker:

and, of course, I don't mean power over people. I just mean to be

Speaker:

authentic and to to really have a vision and understand how

Speaker:

to direct people towards my vision. I think the the most

Speaker:

the best definition I can give you for leadership is it is the

Speaker:

person in the room

Speaker:

with the most potent emotional signal.

Speaker:

That makes sense if we're herd creatures. I'm sorry. No. No. You go ahead. You

Speaker:

go ahead. No. It makes sense if we're herd creatures. Right? We're social creatures and,

Speaker:

I the I see a lot of my dogs. Right?

Speaker:

I I live with a bunch of dogs. I've always had dogs almost all my

Speaker:

life, and they always look to the

Speaker:

alpha. Right, and the alpha dog to kind of guide the,

Speaker:

the ship, so to speak. Right? And it's always the smallest dog

Speaker:

except for one. It's always the

Speaker:

dachshund, right, that kind of drives the bigger

Speaker:

dogs. I think true? Is

Speaker:

it always the the smallest dog that does it? I've only had in

Speaker:

my experience, the only I had an Irish wolfhound

Speaker:

who was kind of the alpha, and then ever the

Speaker:

2 alphas since he passed away have been the small dogs.

Speaker:

So I'm not really sure if that's the it's a a

Speaker:

true statistical mean statistically meaningful observation or

Speaker:

just the luck of the draw. That's really

Speaker:

interesting. But I think your point is a is an excellent one, which is, like,

Speaker:

how you establish your authority

Speaker:

so people can trust you, so you can lead people to the vision really

Speaker:

depends on, like, how convicted are you in your own energy.

Speaker:

Right. Right. That's an interesting point.

Speaker:

What what are your thoughts on

Speaker:

you know, right now, we're focused on the cognitive aspects of AI.

Speaker:

Do you think we'll ever get machines to understand emotions?

Speaker:

I think about this a lot. You know,

Speaker:

Here's what I'm gonna tell you. Okay? So in this really

Speaker:

this really sort of segues well with what we just talked about.

Speaker:

And you're hearing people say this in other ways about AI. AI

Speaker:

is only as good as the information that

Speaker:

we're able to feed it. So if I

Speaker:

say if I go because I do so in addition to, like,

Speaker:

doing a lot of work. I'd I my my work really has 2 branches. 1

Speaker:

is all my kind of business based work. This is, like, with the entrepreneurs, the

Speaker:

founders, the the, c suites, things like this. But then I

Speaker:

also have a clinical practice, so I I see patients.

Speaker:

If I I guess what I wanna say here is this, is

Speaker:

that if I go to see a therapist, a psychologist,

Speaker:

or whomever, and I'm sort of talking about

Speaker:

my feelings where peep where most people start, they have no

Speaker:

idea what they're actually saying. I could see that. They

Speaker:

kinda have a sense. You know what I mean? Like, they they they have a

Speaker:

sense that they're because what happens is people will come in and they'll say I'm

Speaker:

in a lot of pain. Make the pain stop. And they'll they'll

Speaker:

be able to say all the ways all the things that

Speaker:

hurt, but they won't be able to say what can fix it. So they'll say,

Speaker:

like, my spouse is doing x, y, and z, my kids, my

Speaker:

coworkers. Right? But if you say to them, okay. Well, what do you think the

Speaker:

solution is? They're gonna say, well, obviously, if I knew what the solution was, like,

Speaker:

I wouldn't be here talking to you, which but my point here is

Speaker:

that going back to this idea of,

Speaker:

it is a motion that is setting the temperature for this planet.

Speaker:

Until the human brain changes, until we're able to, like,

Speaker:

biohack and fundamentally change the human nervous system, Human

Speaker:

consciousness rises on the energy of emotion.

Speaker:

Now for most of us, we've got a lot of messages. If you think about

Speaker:

what's happening to the the brain during childhood, it's

Speaker:

astounding. It's you know, a 1000000 neural connections are being built

Speaker:

every single second in years 1 through 0 through

Speaker:

basically 3. I mean, just the amount of development that the the brain undergoes

Speaker:

is is astounding in childhood. And so we're getting a lot of

Speaker:

messages in childhood to stop paying attention to our our

Speaker:

emotions. And I'm not even saying catastrophic traumatizing ones.

Speaker:

Sit down. I I didn't wanna sit down. I wanted to stand

Speaker:

up. Wear this. I didn't feel like I wanted to wear

Speaker:

that. Eat that. I don't think my body likes that.

Speaker:

Keep your mouth shut. Go tell her you're sorry. I'm not right?

Speaker:

So from the moment we're born, we're getting a lot of messages. And even from

Speaker:

parents who I think, by a lot of accounts, do a really good job

Speaker:

to stop really having this deep emotional and somatic intelligence. Do you see

Speaker:

what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. We're we're kind of shutting out

Speaker:

that that in in hate nature. And it it's really resonates with me

Speaker:

because I have, 3 kids. I have an 18 month old and,

Speaker:

a 9 year old and a 14 year old. So, like, I'm kind of seeing

Speaker:

it from Yeah. And I'm an I'm an only child. So, like, so the whole

Speaker:

sibling relationship thing is foreign to me. So it's fascinating

Speaker:

to watch that develop. And,

Speaker:

it's, you're right. Like, even this morning, I'm like, would you please get in your

Speaker:

car seat? Like, you can't. He did not wanna go in his

Speaker:

car seat today. But Yeah. But but the point here is if you're thinking

Speaker:

about who is programming the you know, like, how how do we and I don't

Speaker:

mean, like, Jim and Susie who are the programmers. They're not a but

Speaker:

it's like there's sort of a collective point I'm trying to make about the

Speaker:

planet is how in touch are we really

Speaker:

with sort of the somatic and emotional intelligence on our own body. So then if

Speaker:

I'm designing a thing to help people feel better, can

Speaker:

it? And then when people come to use it, then this is a

Speaker:

really big point. If I come and I and I cannot stress

Speaker:

this point enough, people will always start asking the wrong

Speaker:

question. I could see that. Right? Because it's

Speaker:

it people tend to focus on symptoms, not necessarily the

Speaker:

cause. And maybe that's even doubly so. Because they're

Speaker:

they're basically gonna say, like, how can I get my how can I get these

Speaker:

people around me to change? Right. You want the answer? That's that's

Speaker:

Save yourself, like, years of their you cannot.

Speaker:

So the question then becomes, how do I renegotiate my reality

Speaker:

if I assume these people, whether they're my customers, the people

Speaker:

on my team, my kids, my wife, are not it's not reasonable for me

Speaker:

to expect that they're gonna make a massive behavioral shift. So the very

Speaker:

question that people always start to ask is never the right one.

Speaker:

Right. So how do I interface with the machine? Can the

Speaker:

machine really I I don't know. But I would say if I had to

Speaker:

make a hierarchy, human emotion will be the fine if it ever

Speaker:

happens, it will be the final frontier. And that's what I think is so powerful

Speaker:

and so sacred about emotion.

Speaker:

Right. And I think it would be interesting to not not

Speaker:

not now, but, like, ponder, like, what was the origin of

Speaker:

emotion? Like, what what made that happen? Right? Because it's so

Speaker:

inherent to from what we can tell advanced nervous systems. Right? Like, it

Speaker:

just seems to was it the

Speaker:

was it the first driver? Was it the prime driver for what we

Speaker:

call intelligence or, dare I say, consciousness? Right? Because that's a whole loaded

Speaker:

word too. It is a loaded word. I I've

Speaker:

been watching a lot of, Star Trek The Next Generation, like, reruns,

Speaker:

and it's always interesting to see how the eighties

Speaker:

nineties impression of AI was compared to what we see

Speaker:

today. Right? So, you know, a big plot point, if you're

Speaker:

not familiar with it is the android character,

Speaker:

has no emotions. Right? So he processes things only from, like, a logical

Speaker:

point of view. And, like, one of his character arts throughout the show

Speaker:

is he's trying to figure out how to work with humans and human emotions.

Speaker:

Right? Like so it's kinda like it's interesting to see that.

Speaker:

Right? And then and then they they they and then there's another character

Speaker:

who that's all she does. Like, she's an empath. Right? She can sense

Speaker:

emotions. So you kinda have somebody who's, like, cranked to 11 on

Speaker:

the e IQ scale, and you have someone who's there cranked to 11

Speaker:

on the EQ square scale, which I I don't know how you feel about the

Speaker:

EQ term that floats out there in ether.

Speaker:

But it's interesting to kinda see them oddly enough in the show, they

Speaker:

generally don't interact. Now they think about it. But,

Speaker:

all of which is to say, I think you're right. Like, you know, will that

Speaker:

ever be something that machines can approximate?

Speaker:

Or do they have to approximate it to

Speaker:

understand it? And I say understand in the sense of be able to

Speaker:

process that as process that as input. Right. Right? Because all the

Speaker:

call centers, right, they hear when you're angry. Like, there's an AI in there

Speaker:

that supposedly hears here detects anger and then routes you to a person

Speaker:

sooner. So sorry. I cut you off. Oh, no. I think what you're saying

Speaker:

is really interesting. Yeah. So to your point, like, will what what

Speaker:

does it mean? What is and then also, there's this other question is, like, what

Speaker:

does relief look like? So and, you know, this is

Speaker:

a question I think we sit with in the field of of mental

Speaker:

health quite readily is, like, what does recovery look like? What

Speaker:

does healing look like? So if

Speaker:

I can get somebody out

Speaker:

of a a a bad specific situation,

Speaker:

that could be a win. What I tend to see, though, is there's an

Speaker:

enduring there's a very, very enduring underlying pattern. My favorite

Speaker:

quote in the world is everywhere you go, there you are. So I I can't

Speaker:

tell you how many people I have worked with who swear, like, as soon as

Speaker:

I change this job, it's gonna be better. As soon as I fix up my

Speaker:

house, it's gonna be better. As soon as I get a new relationship, it's gonna

Speaker:

be better. Well, you know, you get a you you change the job, the

Speaker:

relationship, the house, whatever. You get a spike for, I don't know, 6 weeks,

Speaker:

6 months, but then you return to the underlying pattern because

Speaker:

you're the one carrying the blueprint. Right? That's why I wrote energy rising. It's like,

Speaker:

what does it actually take to fundamentally alter

Speaker:

our nervous system so we can really live these in

Speaker:

empowering, meaningful lives that feel

Speaker:

like a relief. I think so many of us are just running around so stressed

Speaker:

out, so clenched. So, you know, could could an AI device,

Speaker:

like, help you solve the specific you know, you could talk to the thing now.

Speaker:

It's like my kid's acting up. What should I do? And it will it will

Speaker:

give you a a reasonably intel like, regulate yourself

Speaker:

first. And but the thing about human emotion is, like,

Speaker:

the the logic behind a lot of

Speaker:

the mindset mental health work is not rocket

Speaker:

science. You know, I do a lot of work in

Speaker:

couples. I do a lot of work in couples. And we say in couples

Speaker:

therapy, the couple has the same fight for 50 years.

Speaker:

This is true. It doesn't change a millimeter. The

Speaker:

details will be different, but the substance of the argument is always, you don't respect

Speaker:

me. No. You don't respect me. No. You don't love me. No. You don't love

Speaker:

me. So, you know, if I if I

Speaker:

don't change the underlying pattern, I'm just

Speaker:

gonna keep seeing it over and over and over and over again.

Speaker:

So how does the machine get into that? I don't know.

Speaker:

Well and I don't think people have realistically figured it out either. Right? Like,

Speaker:

you you described so many people I've known in my life,

Speaker:

you know, that they were always my

Speaker:

mom would call it chasing rainbows. Right? I get the new job. I get the

Speaker:

new car. I get the new house. I get this. I get that. Then everything

Speaker:

will be better. Ironically, my mom was one of the worst people in that regard.

Speaker:

God rest her soul. But she could always pick it out on other

Speaker:

people. Pathologically optimistic or what was your mom's opinion? It was more

Speaker:

it was more like everything's gonna be fine when this happens. Okay.

Speaker:

Yeah. Like, that type of when this happens, everything will be fine. And

Speaker:

then to your point, like, when you show up, when x

Speaker:

happens, things aren't fine. Like, you know, maybe for a couple of

Speaker:

days. But, like, it was something that another family member,

Speaker:

said that, you know, something to the effect of and

Speaker:

there's he said it way more crass because he's a member of my family.

Speaker:

And, he said something to the effect of, I bet

Speaker:

even in heaven, the toilets get clogged. Right?

Speaker:

The idea is that there's always a problem somewhere. Right? And just

Speaker:

I don't wanna attribute more deep thought than he warrants

Speaker:

or less than he warrants, but I think the idea was, like, look. Even even

Speaker:

if you have everything you want, something bad's gonna happen. And

Speaker:

then the the real question is, how do you deal with that? Do you

Speaker:

scream at the sky and say, oh, or do you just get a plunger and

Speaker:

deal with it? Right? Right. Well and also too, like, I think, you know,

Speaker:

I think there's so much power in in language. It's really kind of one of

Speaker:

the defining features of what makes our

Speaker:

species, humans. You know, we understand, like, why we think we have the

Speaker:

intelligence we have. So I think words really carry a a power and an energy.

Speaker:

I think what's really interesting is a a synonym

Speaker:

for problem is pain. So in

Speaker:

energy rising, I talk a lot about emotional pain. And I don't mean

Speaker:

excruciating trauma. I mean, my definition for

Speaker:

emotional pain is anytime your nervous system gets triggered in a

Speaker:

bad way. So you're frustrated, you're irritated, you're annoyed, you're stressed,

Speaker:

you're upset. You're bothered all the way up to you're enraged. Right?

Speaker:

You're sad. You're scared. I mean, all of it. So a a

Speaker:

real synonym for problem is actually pain.

Speaker:

Because until you have and this is why I keep saying

Speaker:

your consciousness rises on the energy of your emotion. Until

Speaker:

you have a bad feeling, what I call a painful feeling,

Speaker:

you do not have a problem. This is

Speaker:

a good story. Like it's clogged and you got you got no feeling

Speaker:

about it, like, in other words, you're like, oh, I knew you know, there's a

Speaker:

plumber coming tomorrow. It's good. It's gonna get fixed. You don't have a a meaningful

Speaker:

problem. If you get fired from your job and you're

Speaker:

like, you know what? I didn't really like that job anyway. Like, I actually kinda,

Speaker:

you know, I gotta figure it out, but I feel more relief than anything. You

Speaker:

don't really have a problem. So what I'm what I'm saying here

Speaker:

is human reality is defined

Speaker:

by the energy of emotion. And so when we want to understand our lives

Speaker:

powerfully, we wanna have powerful relationships. We wanna have meaningful

Speaker:

satisfaction. We wanna have an enduring sense of we're

Speaker:

okay, worthiness. This is the whole reason I wrote

Speaker:

energy rising. And I think, again, you know, energy rising is broken down into

Speaker:

what I call 8 neuroenergetic codes. Each one

Speaker:

is like a a blueprint for how to work with your nervous

Speaker:

system. There's tons of practical examples. There's case studies.

Speaker:

It's it's really quite I know I'm biased. I hope every author feels this way

Speaker:

about their book. I it's really an extraordinary book. Very cool.

Speaker:

I I definitely I see that it's available on,

Speaker:

Audible as well as Kindle and paper. And Noble. I'm

Speaker:

actually, this is I've been all I,

Speaker:

I've traveled all over the world to sort of talk about the book. I'm headed

Speaker:

to Copenhagen. I just got back from San Diego. I got back from Michigan. I'm

Speaker:

going down to Saint Louis. But, this this weekend, I'm doing my first this

Speaker:

is I'm kind of excited because I haven't done anything like this. I've done tons

Speaker:

of events, but, I'm doing my first book signing in a bookstore.

Speaker:

So I feel like I have a very yeah. Like, a very cute sort of

Speaker:

nostalgic feeling about that. Very cool. Very

Speaker:

cool. I, I definitely gonna pick up the audio book because I

Speaker:

spend a lot of time in the car and a lot of time in it.

Speaker:

Yeah. Yeah. Definitely won't definitely wanna check it out. And for those of you, that

Speaker:

are listening and you wanna check it out, you go to the data driven book.com,

Speaker:

and, you'll get one free audible book on us. And if you

Speaker:

decide to pursue that, then you help support the show.

Speaker:

Andy is nodding. He's, he's been quiet because he's had some we'll

Speaker:

just blame it on the eclipse. How about that? Because everybody's gonna blame it today

Speaker:

on the eclipse. But yeah. So Yeah.

Speaker:

No. I I really appreciate this conversation. I know it's kind of a bit different

Speaker:

from the usual, but I I mean, I I I think it's important because as

Speaker:

we build out more and more intelligent systems, the word loaded

Speaker:

language we use in terms of intelligent is not necessarily emotional

Speaker:

intelligence. And from what you're saying, and,

Speaker:

I do agree, like, emotional intelligence or emotions

Speaker:

are a even richer carrier of meaning

Speaker:

and depth and content than kind

Speaker:

of, you know, just good old fashioned left brained,

Speaker:

type stuff. And I I don't know. I don't I can't tell if you cringed

Speaker:

or whatever because I've had different people tell me, like, the left brain, right brain

Speaker:

thing isn't a real thing. That's that's probably warrants its

Speaker:

own episode and or book. Those things that we

Speaker:

talk about in the in the brain, and this will come as no surprise. Those

Speaker:

Those things that we talk about in the brain and sort of the the popular

Speaker:

vernacular, the popular press Right. It's it's aggressively

Speaker:

oversimplified, but that's okay. You know, it's like people think the amygdala is

Speaker:

about fear. You know? I think the amygdala is, like, the most famous piece of

Speaker:

the brain, probably. Right. Right. The the amygdala is really about emotional learning.

Speaker:

So it's kind of accurate that it's about fear, but it's much broader than that.

Speaker:

You know what I mean? Interesting. So Yeah. Yeah. The love and my brain thing.

Speaker:

It's hard to collapse. That is. Yeah. Years of

Speaker:

study that you've done into a meme. I mean, that's

Speaker:

that's just that is that is a level of compression which I

Speaker:

think anyone's ever gonna figure out. But I will know. But I I actually go

Speaker:

the opposite. I actually go the opposite way. So, like, I think

Speaker:

I think it's really cool that, so I've worked in the

Speaker:

ivory tower. Like I said, lots of lot of, academic

Speaker:

medicine background. You know, the I I finished

Speaker:

my training out in Boston, and, I

Speaker:

started doing these, I because we had all this amazing

Speaker:

information, data research on stress and the

Speaker:

body and our relationships, and a lot of it was, like, locked up in the

Speaker:

ivory tower. And so I actually the way my this kind of

Speaker:

dimension of my career started is I have always been into,

Speaker:

like, public service and and advocacy

Speaker:

around mental health. This is just always been something in my family system and

Speaker:

my childhood. So I started going to the library

Speaker:

and giving talks for free. Just, you know, I'm like Interesting. The

Speaker:

the well-being brain stress connection or whatever. Right?

Speaker:

And I joke that I became library famous. Like, the librarians

Speaker:

would be like, we it's standing room only. We

Speaker:

haven't seen a crowd this big in the library. And what

Speaker:

I realized again is, like, people are so

Speaker:

hungry and so curious as as they rightfully should be

Speaker:

about their life. And how our

Speaker:

brain works is such a big piece of the puzzle. So I actually

Speaker:

don't get a as long as people aren't giving dangerous advice,

Speaker:

the simplification, I think, is essential, and I actually think

Speaker:

it's a really beautiful thing. That's a good way to put it. That's a

Speaker:

good way to put it. And I know we're coming close on time, but you

Speaker:

said something that made me wonder. And, again, I get this kinda

Speaker:

gets that. What NLP has two meanings, natural

Speaker:

language processing and AI world, but also in the sales world, you'll hear it

Speaker:

uses neurolinguistic programming. And you said that language is

Speaker:

very powerful. Is that

Speaker:

is that a is is neurolinguistic programming, like, is that a real

Speaker:

thing? Is that pop size? Is it somewhere in the middle? Is it kinda like,

Speaker:

you know, the amygdala example you gave? Tell me. I don't I've heard of it.

Speaker:

I don't know. Tell me. Give me a a recap. Neurolinguistic programming is

Speaker:

just the idea of how you say things and how you phrase things

Speaker:

shift not just the way you influence other people, but also in how you

Speaker:

influence yourself. Yeah. I mean, if

Speaker:

if that's the premise of it, I I again, like, I don't know anything

Speaker:

about but I I'll sort of talk about, you know, why do we think

Speaker:

talk therapy works? Well, we thought think talk therapy works is if

Speaker:

you really think about the neuroscience of it is emotions

Speaker:

are basically subcortical processes. Meaning, they're they're kind

Speaker:

of held in you know, so there you have the the subcortical regions of the

Speaker:

brain, and then you have the cortical, the more advanced. This is where we think

Speaker:

about thinking and emotion regulation and all this executive function stuff

Speaker:

that you hear people talking about. So we think that the the

Speaker:

healthiest brain is an integrated brain, a brain that

Speaker:

knows what it feels and feels what it knows. Right? So what happens

Speaker:

in talk therapy, for example, is I'm running this

Speaker:

program, and the sensations in my body feel like

Speaker:

I suck. I suck. I'm no good. Nobody wants me. I can't get what I

Speaker:

want. My life is bad. I don't count. And so what

Speaker:

happens when we start to take those emotional sensations, which are wordless,

Speaker:

they're just this emotional energy, and we translate them into words, and we start to

Speaker:

say, like, oh, is it true that I'm all bad

Speaker:

all the time? No. Is there any evidence

Speaker:

to the contrary? Or if you think about trauma processing, what happens

Speaker:

with trauma processing is because the trauma is by definition

Speaker:

so horrible, the brain says, let us not think about it. Let us avoid

Speaker:

it. Let us repress it. Well, we we are so clear. We

Speaker:

have tremendous amount of evidence based treatments and really good studies that show

Speaker:

that when people talk about the trauma, yeah, it doesn't feel

Speaker:

great to talk about a really painful thing. But what happens is we

Speaker:

get to organize an inherently chaotic event

Speaker:

into words. And when we when we put the

Speaker:

linear kind of the linear model of language

Speaker:

on these emotions, it really is quite

Speaker:

transformative. So the ways that we talk about ourselves,

Speaker:

it matters profoundly. It also matters,

Speaker:

like I think a lot of times this is why I don't really tell people

Speaker:

to do affirmations. Like, if I stand in front of the mirror and go,

Speaker:

I am so great. Everyone loves

Speaker:

me. I am the most interesting, attractive,

Speaker:

smart, con my brain's like

Speaker:

bull bull bull So,

Speaker:

again, I would much more rather have someone say, what

Speaker:

is the edge? And I talk a lot about this energy rising. What

Speaker:

is the edge of what I could say that is true?

Speaker:

Right. So instead of, for example, saying, I don't give a shit what people think

Speaker:

about me, It's more true to say, I actually

Speaker:

really care a lot what people think about me. And even though I

Speaker:

care that they think this way about me, I'm still willing to take

Speaker:

these risks and do x, y, and z. It's like we've

Speaker:

got to link language to the truth of our emotion in

Speaker:

order to evolve the emotion so we can become more

Speaker:

powerful. So that was kind of a long way of saying, yeah. Like, I absolutely

Speaker:

think that the way we language our emotional

Speaker:

experiences matters profoundly to us and other people.

Speaker:

That's a great way to put it. And I suspect that also is probably a

Speaker:

big part of why when you write about something emotional or traumatic

Speaker:

Correct. It's very cathartic. It's very cathartic. Correct. Because what you're

Speaker:

actually doing at the neural level is you're you're, like,

Speaker:

organizing in a linear fashion something that's inherently

Speaker:

nebulous and a lot of times overwhelming. So then then it becomes

Speaker:

this, like, integrated moment, and people get not just

Speaker:

instant relief, but they tend to get lasting relief.

Speaker:

Right. That's a good point. That's a good point.

Speaker:

This has been an awesome conversation. Again, the book is energy

Speaker:

energy rising, the neuroscience of leading with emotional power. It's

Speaker:

on Amazon,

Speaker:

Kindle. It's also available on Dead Tree. You get it at

Speaker:

Barnes and Noble. All the formats, that I can tell. And

Speaker:

I definitely would love to have you back in the show and kind of, with

Speaker:

better, planning and kind of a better structure.

Speaker:

And, definitely, maybe on a day where there's not an eclipse, although

Speaker:

causation is not shot. Correlation is not causation.

Speaker:

Yeah. And

Speaker:

one final question. How did you get into this? Like, you mentioned kind of

Speaker:

how how did you get into like, what what made you get into this

Speaker:

and and what made you, like, see all this stuff in the ivory

Speaker:

tower, but it's not out there helping people? Yeah. Like what?

Speaker:

So I come from a a lineage of psychologists. So,

Speaker:

like, our our family dynamics are very interesting.

Speaker:

My father is a psychologist. So my father is a psychologist. My

Speaker:

mother, worked with she was a teacher who worked with immigrants.

Speaker:

My brother is significantly disabled. So I grew up, I

Speaker:

think, in a very in a very

Speaker:

complex family system, but also in a lot of ways, a a really beautiful family

Speaker:

system where people sort of talked

Speaker:

not always in the healthiest way, but people talked a lot about emotion.

Speaker:

And this idea of service was always so,

Speaker:

I'm Catholic. You know, my faith is is a big deal in but I've I've

Speaker:

really I think, like, a lot of us, we've struggled with our faith. Like, what

Speaker:

does it really mean to serve? And and so, I

Speaker:

started doing a lot of, international humanitarian

Speaker:

aid. So, actually, I first started in US politics. And the reason I went into

Speaker:

politics was, I was interested

Speaker:

in advocacy and changing systems and thinking about

Speaker:

the well-being of the of the people. So I worked in US politics. I worked

Speaker:

at the White House. I worked on several US presidential campaigns.

Speaker:

I don't know if this is gonna make sense, but I got tired of the

Speaker:

politics of politics and became I'm I'm much more of a a

Speaker:

substance and policy person. So I I went to Georgetown.

Speaker:

I got my first master's and started doing a lot of international

Speaker:

humanitarian aid, a lot of international development work. And what was

Speaker:

very interesting to me was everywhere I went,

Speaker:

I was seeing the same story. I was seeing whether

Speaker:

I was in Chicago or Detroit or Buenos

Speaker:

Aires or Abuja or Lagos or I did a lot of work

Speaker:

in a small country called Lesotho or Kenya or South Africa.

Speaker:

Hope always looked like hope. Rage always

Speaker:

looked like rage. Trauma always looked

Speaker:

like trauma. The situational sit circumstances

Speaker:

are obviously, of course, different. But, again, this idea of this,

Speaker:

like, universal longing of human emotion. And so

Speaker:

I I was working in all these traumatized places. And even if you think about

Speaker:

political work, like the right to health care, the right to

Speaker:

to work with dignity, you know, with my brother, we've we've thought a lot about

Speaker:

what does what does it mean to work with dignity. These

Speaker:

are about fundamental

Speaker:

existential issues of human dignity and power.

Speaker:

And I said, I always kind of had a scientific mind, so I said I'm

Speaker:

gonna get a PhD. No one was. People who are saying, like, we would love

Speaker:

to figure out how to how better address trauma, but, like, we can't just throw

Speaker:

money at things we don't understand. So, like, what's the science behind this? And I

Speaker:

tend to be somebody who if there's a problem, I'm gonna fix it. So I

Speaker:

decided to, much to my family's shock, go back to school and

Speaker:

get a PhD, and I became a neuropsychologist. And so one

Speaker:

of the things I think is kind of surprising to people is I think there's

Speaker:

a profound social justice argument to be made based on

Speaker:

our biology. I think when we repeatedly ask the human system to

Speaker:

do things the human system cannot do, whether it's

Speaker:

be this hyper productivity nonsense, whether it's

Speaker:

isolation, whether it's, you know, working without dignity, whether

Speaker:

it's the lack of relationships, you can't sustain it.

Speaker:

You cannot sustain it. Yeah. It's almost like our truth

Speaker:

flexibility. Told by our flesh. Right? That is a truth told by our

Speaker:

flesh. No. That's a good point. No. That's a good point. It's

Speaker:

almost like our flexibility comes to haunt us because we can

Speaker:

temporarily act in ways that are against the

Speaker:

flesh, so to speak. But eventually, you

Speaker:

kinda have to snap back. Right? Like Yeah. But for what meaning? For what meaning?

Speaker:

So what so, like, so you can work 70 hours a week for what? The

Speaker:

only reason you're doing it is if you look at the underlying fear, and we're

Speaker:

gonna run out of time here, the underlying emotional input impetus, because it's

Speaker:

the emotional impetus that gives rise to behavior, is fear.

Speaker:

The only reason people overwork like that is because, you know, the the

Speaker:

brain has something called loss aversion. The brain's always looking for a

Speaker:

sense of worthiness and and, like, I am

Speaker:

sufficient. So, you know, people are trying to amass, amass, amass,

Speaker:

amass, amass. Why? Because it never feels like enough. Why?

Speaker:

Because they're afraid. So what once again, until you get into the underlying

Speaker:

emotional energy, you cannot meaningfully change human behavior. And until you don't

Speaker:

until you change human behavior, you cannot meaningfully change systems.

Speaker:

Very well said. Very well said. And I will end on that note,

Speaker:

and we'll have our AI, Bailey, finish the show. And there we have

Speaker:

it. Another thought provoking episode of the data driven

Speaker:

podcast wrapped up neatly with insights that surely tickled your

Speaker:

neurons. A huge thank you to doctor Julia Deganji for

Speaker:

joining us and sharing her expertise on the marvels of the human mind and

Speaker:

its parallels with artificial intelligence. If today's

Speaker:

discussion sparked your interest and you're hungry for more data driven

Speaker:

dialogues, don't forget to subscribe to our podcast on your favorite

Speaker:

platform. That way, you won't miss out on any of our

Speaker:

upcoming episodes where we continue to merge the worlds of technology,

Speaker:

data science, and the human experience in the most enlightening

Speaker:

ways. Join us next time for another deep dive into the

Speaker:

data that shapes our world. Until then, keep those

Speaker:

neural networks, both organic and artificial, active and

Speaker:

engaged. Cheerio.

Links

Chapters

Video

More from YouTube