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Why You Want to Be Praying For Your Child’s Future
Episode 44824th July 2023 • Everyday Disciple Podcast • Caesar Kalinowski
00:00:00 00:21:44

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As Christians, consistently praying for your kids may seem obvious. To pray for your child’s future spouse may be less obvious, but it’s a privilege that carries with it some pretty awesome blessings. This week on the Everyday Disciple Podcast, we’ll show you seven ways and reasons to pray for your child’s future, and their potential spouse. The earlier you get started, the bigger the blessings! In This Episode You’ll Learn:
  • 7 ways and reasons to pray for your child’s future, and how to get started.
  • The results Caesar and Tina have seen from praying in this specific way.
  • Why praying for your child’s future is part of how you disciple them.
  • How to include your children in these prayers with you–powerful!
Get started here… From this episode: “Praying this way, as parents, helps you see your child as a person–from the time they’re babies–a person that you’re preparing for an abundant adult life. You’re not just praying that they’ll find a good husband or wife, but you’re praying and preparing them for meaningful adult relationships...”  
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Download today’s BIG 3 right now. Read and think over them again later. You might even want to share them with others…

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Join us on Facebook and take part in the discussion! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of this page or right below. Also, please subscribe and leave an honest review for The Everyday Disciple Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.   Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Coaching with Caesar and Tina in discipleship and missional living. FREE “Parents Prayer Guide” – Download now. Discipleship and Missional Resources Missio Publishing   Join us on Facebook

Transcripts

Caesar Kalinowski:

Praying this way as parents helps you see your child as a person, like not like, there's my baby, or that's a little kid I got to give him through school or whatever.

Caesar Kalinowski:

But it helps you see them as a person from the time they're babies or really young.

Caesar Kalinowski:

A person that you're preparing for an abundant adult life, for favor in God's eyes and all that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You're not just praying that they'll find a good husband or wife, but you're praying and preparing them, both your kids and that future spouse, for meaningful adult relationships.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And that they'll trust God for who he says they are, and become all that God intends for them.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And, you know, that just sounds like good discipleship to me.

Heath Hollensbe:

Welcome

Heath Hollensbe:

to the Everyday Disciple podcast, where you'll learn how to live with greater intentionality and an integrated faith that naturally fits

Heath Hollensbe:

into every area of life.

Heath Hollensbe:

In other

Heath Hollensbe:

words, discipleship as a lifestyle.

Heath Hollensbe:

This is the stuff your parents, pastors, and seminary professors probably forgot to tell you.

Heath Hollensbe:

And now, here's

Heath Hollensbe:

your host, Caesar Kalinowski.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Hey Heath, man, it's good to be back.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Decided to do this episode.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I'm, you know, I got the baby girl now, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

So, uh...

Caesar Kalinowski:

Is that what, is that what caused you to want to go this route?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, I think so.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, little baby Remi.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Subliminal.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Little baby Remi.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Got a little granddaughter, first one.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So, yeah, wanted to talk about praying for our kids and...

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

and for their future spouses and all that stuff, so...

Heath Hollensbe:

I remember hearing like the pastors that every night go in and pray for 10 minutes for the kids and I've always felt guilt because I haven't done that as well.

Heath Hollensbe:

But I hope every parent is praying for their kids at some point.

Heath Hollensbe:

I hope so.

Heath Hollensbe:

And one thing that I've heard from you in the past, and I know you still do this, is praying for your kids future.

Heath Hollensbe:

And in specific, praying for your kids spouses.

Heath Hollensbe:

Yeah.

Heath Hollensbe:

But this started with you and Tina long ago, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, it did.

Caesar Kalinowski:

In fact, I have been already praying for Remy and her future spouse.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Wow.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That really, like I just, because I've seen the fruit of it, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Tina, I've prayed for our son and our two daughters.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So Caesar, christen and Justine and prayed for their, like you mentioned, potential spouses since they were little, little kids.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And now our two oldest, Caesar and Christen, um, they're happily married to amazing people.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And in both cases, we felt God's favor on that person and on their like budding relationships right away.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Really?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right away.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

We've prayed for our, our, our youngest daughter, Justine, who's not married, you know, yet, but in this way too.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And um, and she's now in a pretty serious and really healthy relationship with a man that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That may just be, well, we'll have to just see, okay?

Caesar Kalinowski:

All right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, I don't give away too much.

Caesar Kalinowski:

But let's just say that we're still praying for her and now we're praying specifically for him too.

Caesar Kalinowski:

But we have been for years.

Caesar Kalinowski:

We just didn't, couldn't put a name or a face to it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Heath Hollensbe:

Right.

Heath Hollensbe:

It's starting to come together, huh?

Heath Hollensbe:

Yeah.

Heath Hollensbe:

Yeah.

Heath Hollensbe:

You know, I've, uh, You know, Justine's man doesn't live here, but, but Daniel does, Kristen's husband, and I've become good friends with him over the last couple of years, and he is a incredible guy.

Caesar Kalinowski:

He's kind of a stud.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, he is.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like, super good looking, all cross fitted out, he's a firefighter.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, funny.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Gentle servant guy, yeah, he's, he was a good catch.

Heath Hollensbe:

He was a really good catch and he's now a part of our DNA group that we're in together and so getting to see this that Spiritual side come out is it's

Heath Hollensbe:

really cool.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I remember the first time we met Daniel seriously like Tina and I asked each other like Is he the one?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Hmm.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I think he might be the guy we've been praying for since Christin was a baby.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Wow.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like we really felt that way.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And it turns out we were right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I really believe they'll be married forever.

Caesar Kalinowski:

He's a strong yet gentle and godly man.

Caesar Kalinowski:

He was actually discipled and he's like the perfect partner for Christin.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like they really.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I couldn't be happier for them.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I mean, I, I thank God for him all the time.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And you know, it's pretty much the same way with our son and his beautiful wife, Mari.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It took a little longer for them to tie the knot.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Hmm.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Christin and Daniel, like, it was like right away, they knew it, we all knew it, whatever.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Caesar and Mari took a little longer.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Um, but our family loved her immediately and we kept praying over the years that they were dating and during their courtship too.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Really?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And so, you know, I want to share today with our listening family, seven blessings and reasons to pray for your child's future.

Caesar Kalinowski:

and their potential spouse.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And, um, and, and I want you to have these blessings and, and they come from, from this type of prayer.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And so, and by the way, before I get into it, I want to give credit and thanks to a buddy of mine, uh, old, old friend of mine from way back in Illinois.

Caesar Kalinowski:

We did tons of stuff at a big church together.

Caesar Kalinowski:

JP Leitner.

Caesar Kalinowski:

He's a great,

Heath Hollensbe:

he was actually the first guest

Caesar Kalinowski:

we've ever had on the show.

Caesar Kalinowski:

He was too.

Caesar Kalinowski:

In fact, I just read his newest book.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's not out yet.

Caesar Kalinowski:

He asked me to do a little review of it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Sure.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Um, awesome.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Hmm.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And when that comes out, we'll probably have to talk about it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I loved it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's a little short read.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I shot right through it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Great.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Anyway, so I got a lot of this stuff from him because he's got a book called 50 things.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I'm sorry, 52 things to pray for your kids.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And I'll try to remember to put that in the show links and it helped me kind of get my thoughts together on this.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And you're right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

He's on the show, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

I can't

Heath Hollensbe:

wait for this man because you know, Kathleen and I have a, have a tribe at home that are growing and I've been, you sure do.

Heath Hollensbe:

And so I'm going to be taking notes as we move along here,

Caesar Kalinowski:

so.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I want to tell you though, um, I know like we all, we all could be praying more consistently, dude.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Sure.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like some of the stuff that I know that you pray for your kids and how you like speak their identity over them and all that when you pray, that's beautiful stuff, dude.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And it's, it's paying off because your kids are great.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, they're good kids.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They really are.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You should be super proud of how God's blessing you through that, you know.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Hard to see at times.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So, but there's always room for growth.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Maybe one of these seven will spark something for you.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So here's the first one.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Uh, praying for your kid's future spouse begins to create a spot in your own heart for that person.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Oh yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You're like way beforehand.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's why I think I love Daniel like my own son.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I've been praying for that kid since his whole life, you know?

Caesar Kalinowski:

So praying for someone you've never met may sound strange, but this person's going to be a new son or daughter in your family for a lifetime, hopefully, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

So start loving them now.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Why not?

Caesar Kalinowski:

We get to.

Caesar Kalinowski:

God's a God over space and time.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So you're like, yeah, but it could be 20 years from now.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It could be 30.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Well, you know, my youngest one's 30 and maybe this guy will be the guy, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

I don't know.

Caesar Kalinowski:

But our relationships with our two new family members are close.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And they're warm and we love them deeply and it feels like we've known them like a lifetime in some ways.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Sure.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You know?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Not perfectly, we're still learning a lot, but like, like that creates a different heart for those people.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So when you meet them, you're like, Oh man, here they are.

Heath Hollensbe:

Yeah.

Heath Hollensbe:

And what a neat story too.

Heath Hollensbe:

Like, you know.

Heath Hollensbe:

At the wedding or whatever, to be able to say like this, this is 25 years and every day we've prayed for this, you know, uh, that's something I need to, I need to get on pretty

Caesar Kalinowski:

quick.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Well, and that's, that's actually sort of the next point.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Someday you'll have the pleasure of telling your son or daughter spouse that you've been praying specifically for them and their family for years.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's another one of those blessings.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And it's, I'm telling you, man, it's humbling to know this and it, and it provides a deep and immediate bond between you.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I mean, Daniel's never had a hard time with me, like, cause he knows this, you know, and I, I, we, when we went out and talked about, you know, he wanted to tell me how much he loved my, you know, my daughter and how amazing she was basically asking for her hand in marriage.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I'm sure that that's one of the things we talked about, you know, I've been praying for her spouse for a long time, you know, well, he's got to like.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You know, that's just, that knits you, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Oh, sure.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So that's one of those blessings that we're talking about, uh, that you'll get to tell your son or daughter's spouse that you've been praying for them.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Heath Hollensbe:

It's mean, it's, I mean, it's a commitment, right?

Heath Hollensbe:

Like you're, you're setting, when they're saying their vows, this is a lifelong thing and if It's a

Caesar Kalinowski:

very different thing like, well, I'm going to be watching out for you and you know, treat her right, treat her right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Keep a gun loaded

Heath Hollensbe:

on the side of my, yeah, come

Caesar Kalinowski:

on.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Here's another one.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Uh, knowing your own child's personality and needs, you can pray specifically throughout for years asking God to both prepare their heart and their future spouse's heart in pretty unique ways.

Caesar Kalinowski:

All three of my kids are so different, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Same with my four, you know?

Caesar Kalinowski:

And so I pray for different things.

Caesar Kalinowski:

God, you know, help them see the truth of who you are and what you say is true of them in this area of their life.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And it's different for each of them.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And they're going to need a spouse that understands this and can model that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So this isn't just praying that they'll find a spouse.

Caesar Kalinowski:

This is praying the gospel over them and believing God has gone ahead of you and is uniquely shaping their future together.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You're right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I mean, do we believe that God's over the future?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Sure.

Caesar Kalinowski:

When you,

Heath Hollensbe:

and you're right.

Heath Hollensbe:

Every kid is so different.

Heath Hollensbe:

And so being able to uniquely pray for that future spouse, for the way that they deal with difficult situations or the day like they respond differently.

Heath Hollensbe:

So, so taking their unique personalities into it is a, is a really cool feature.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And I, you know, if you're listening to this going like, well, there's all kinds of stuff I want to be praying for my kids, not just for their future spouse, but this includes that because I'm praying.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And I still do, and now they're married and it hasn't stopped, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

I still pray specifically, uniquely for each of them and for their spouse.

Caesar Kalinowski:

There's things, listen, my kids don't have perfect marriages just like Tina and I don't have a perfect marriage, but the stuff I'm praying now for them in their marriage, I'm praying for each of them that they'll, they'll glorify God and help each other see him more clearly and that stuff that's weird or they're fearful about or they hide or tend to not be open and honest about or have trust in that God will use.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They're a unique spouse for that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You know, something I learned way too late in marriage though, is that the things about your spouse that are hard for you or that they still bug you after all these years or whatever.

Caesar Kalinowski:

God knew that stuff before you got married.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Those are the areas of your life that you're not yet conformed to Christ.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And so like we can rail against that stuff.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Or we can accept it as God's hand in our life to help change our hearts to be more like Jesus.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Now, guess what?

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's what I'm talking about.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You get to pray for those things before and, you know, even after they're married, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, and

Heath Hollensbe:

I'm even thinking too, like, how busy life gets at times.

Heath Hollensbe:

So maybe it's even as helpful as, you know, at 8 o'clock at night, you just set up.

Heath Hollensbe:

Set something in your calendar if you need an action item to remind

Caesar Kalinowski:

you to do this.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I, man, just, it would change the whole trajectory, I believe, of your family and even the, how you feel about your kids and their spouses when they finally have them.

Caesar Kalinowski:

If you prayed two minutes, you know, uh, a few times a week, a day for this, you know, Journal it down.

Caesar Kalinowski:

No kidding.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, that's good, man.

Caesar Kalinowski:

All right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Here's another one.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Um, praying these prayers together as parents, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

So like, I mean, we're going to pray separately, you know, Tina, I pray separately for the kids.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I don't know every time she's praying, but we pray together too.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Sure.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And with your child.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So like, listen, while you're praying with them.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Again, you're praying about like their future spouse and certain areas of their heart and all that kind of stuff helps to instill a sense of God's sovereignty in them concerning their future and his plans for them.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like when you're praying with your kids for their future, it sort of says God's there and it starts to help them trust him for their future.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's not like, Hey, you go out and you try to put up a mask and try to attract the best possible spouse you can.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And then you try to make the best possible life you can and try to wedge a little guy.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like no, from when I was little.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I knew my folks are praying kind of thing about specific things about my future and, and that God would shape this man or this woman in certain unique ways that our marriage and our kids would glorify God, you know, that just changes their understanding of God's sovereignty for their future.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

See, cause God cares about their yesterdays, but he also cares about today and tomorrows.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Put that on like a throw rug or something.

Heath Hollensbe:

It also reminds them too, when they are married in the midst of.

Heath Hollensbe:

Difficult times like not to throw in the towel because this is something that the parents have prayed for for

Caesar Kalinowski:

years You know, this is which means God's in that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, I must be working something out.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's right That's good.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Beautiful, man.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Powerful.

Caesar Kalinowski:

All right, next one.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay, next one.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Um, pray with your child for specific godly qualities to grow and mature in their hope for a spouse.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Hmm.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's like, you can't even ask about, what do you want in a spouse?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like, what would you like in a husband?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Or what would you like to see in your wife?

Caesar Kalinowski:

You know?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Sure.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And don't let them get off with the simple, like, oh, I want to be just like you, you know, or I want to be like mom.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Or like, what is it about mom that you want?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, like call out those attributes.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And this teaches them what to look for as they begin to date more seriously and consider a marriage partner for life.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Huh?

Caesar Kalinowski:

See, if you've been talking about that and say, well, I want to pray for that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You want that in a guy, honey, God's put that desire in your heart.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like why?

Caesar Kalinowski:

They're like, get to the thing behind the thing.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I'm going to be praying for that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Let's pray right now.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That teaches them to, you know, what they should be looking for.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So it's not like, well, I want a dude with a six pack and I want him to have a hot car and I don't ever have to work.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's like.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Well, maybe, but there's better things to pray for.

Caesar Kalinowski:

There's only so many Brad Pitt's.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So you know, discuss and pray with them about love and sex and friendship and marriage.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Obviously age appropriate, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

These are important things in life that often go undiscussed with our kids, period.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like they really do.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You're like, well, what do you think?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I was a pretty good looking guy.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I guess he's got a good job.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You know, it's all that kind of menial stuff and it happens at like 25 or 18 or whatever.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like start when they're young.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And you get to, you get to.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Well,

Heath Hollensbe:

I love the idea that you get to, you know, those qualities you can help you form your kids into, you know, when they're thinking like, I just want somebody's.

Heath Hollensbe:

You know, smoking hot and you can go, well, let's step back because, you know,

Caesar Kalinowski:

beauty is fleeting.

Caesar Kalinowski:

What is smoking hot?

Caesar Kalinowski:

You know, correct their

Heath Hollensbe:

hearts and what they're

Caesar Kalinowski:

sharing there.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Hey, before I even go on, cause I don't want to forget it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Um, I put together a little download of all these.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Oh, cool.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like where it's you can get all of these.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Um, it's a little guide called how to pray for your child's future spouse.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And so it's free download.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You can get that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I put a little quick URL together if folks want to get it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's free download everydaydisciple.

Caesar Kalinowski:

com forward slash pray, enter, boom.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It'll take you to a little thing, fill it out, download it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

We're giving stuff away every week.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I know.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's great.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Try to help out.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Next.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Next one.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Uh, pray not only for the future spouse.

Caesar Kalinowski:

But pray also for their family of origin.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Oh, that's good.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Here's why.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Remember, their family shapes them in profound ways and, and, and that family is going to also become a part of your extended family, not only physically, if they're even around or maybe at holidays only or whatever, but if they live near you, but their perspective on life and who God is and how they speak to their kids and all of that is going to be a part of your family life now.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Absolutely.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Trust me now that my kids have been married for a few years each.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's complex.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's complex.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's a good word for it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's complex.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And so I wish I had prayed more for their spouses.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You know what I mean?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like, so that like when they were being raised, you know what I mean?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, absolutely.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So, so not only pray for your kid's future spouse, but pray for their family of origin, you know, and you'll be blessed when all the juggling of life and holidays, you're trying to figure that out and, and hopefully grandkids are around.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's all going to be made easier by your love for them too.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So if, if when you meet their parents, you're like, I love these people.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Because I love their son.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, exactly.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And you know what, and that's how it was like with Daniel and his parents.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It took us about two times a meeting where it's like, that's our family.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Really?

Caesar Kalinowski:

They're our family.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's that fast, yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah, we're like, you know, holiday stuff together.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like, come on over for any of it, come over.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's like, and it felt just like ours.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It felt like we had known each other like for a really long time.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Wow.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It just did.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's so cool.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It just really did.

Heath Hollensbe:

Now you're, you're right.

Heath Hollensbe:

I, I,

Caesar Kalinowski:

um.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So, I mean, see, now I don't, I don't know who's thinking of these things, but I'm telling you there's fruit in it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

There's blessings, parents.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Sure.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You know.

Caesar Kalinowski:

No, praise for their family.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And by the way, if you're listening, it's going, well, I'm not married yet, but I'm hoping, you know, and maybe there's a significant other in there.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You're kind of hoping there'll be that, or maybe there's not yet.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Guess what?

Caesar Kalinowski:

You still get to pray for your kids and for your spouse that God's preparing.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Mm.

Caesar Kalinowski:

As we looked at our kids lives growing up and like, Oh, I want to be married and I'm not, and there's no good guys or I can't find the right, you know, wherever it's like, well, maybe God's still preparing them or maybe God's still preparing you, honey.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's good.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And that's really the truth of it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Exactly.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Now you look back over time, you go like, you weren't ready for that yet.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yep.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That, you know, you were still dealing with that back then.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You want to be married so bad when you're 18 or 20 or whatever.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I mean, everybody's different.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

But anyway.

Caesar Kalinowski:

That's a great point.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Um, okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Here's, here's the last one.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Um, when you pray for your child to submit to and wait on God's timing for marriage.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So this is a timing prayer, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

You take the pressure off of them in their dating relationships.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like, oh yeah, it's like, so if their whole life, it's like, God, I don't know when that's going to come.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Or if like, if they're going to have college or career, are you sure to travel the world or be a missionary?

Caesar Kalinowski:

But like, Lord, you know, you've given them a desire to be married.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Married and um, like we're just we're just trusting you for the timing because you might have that person now Glorifying you in some other way or you're still working on their heart like we were just saying, you know, wherever so it takes the Pressure off of them in their dating relationships.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's so good, right and we've often told our kid, you know If this is the one like, you know, they're like, oh, I think this might be like, you know, if this is the one Then there's no need to rush into things because if this is God's choice for you for the rest of your life, then you can't mess it up.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

He's sovereign.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And if it's not his perfect choice for you, right, then you certainly don't want this relationship.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Tread, tread slowly.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So there's no need to rush it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And we had those conversations and prayed that stuff when they were very, very little.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Hmm.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And you know, my kids, let's see, they were all late in their twenties.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I think my son was maybe even 30, you know, and it's not because they're.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like, whoa, you know, they, they're, they're gorgeous.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They're nice.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They, you know, they love God and people.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I mean, yeah, but they weren't, they never felt the need to rush into it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They just didn't, they didn't, they, they were securing their identity by his grace, you know, the pressure is not, but we've been doing these kinds of prayers man for decades.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So, so I'm just passing it on.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I'm not trying to pat myself on the shoulder or Tina on the shoulder.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I'm just, you know,

Heath Hollensbe:

I love that man.

Heath Hollensbe:

And like you said, your kids are, your kids are great.

Heath Hollensbe:

They married great people.

Heath Hollensbe:

Yeah.

Heath Hollensbe:

Proof's in the pudding.

Heath Hollensbe:

You're not They're

Caesar Kalinowski:

working out, they're working out their stuff.

Caesar Kalinowski:

They're not, they're not like angels perfect, but it's beautiful.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Sure.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It really is.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So, so I guess kind of wrapping up, I'll say that praying this way as parents helps you see your child as a person, like not like there's my baby or that's a little kid I've got to get him through school or whatever, but it helps you see them as a person from the time they're babies or really young, a person that you're preparing for an abundant adult life.

Caesar Kalinowski:

for favor in God's eyes and all that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You're not just praying that they'll find a good husband or wife, but you're praying and preparing them, both your kids and that future spouse, for meaningful adult relationship and that they'll trust God for who he says they are and become all that God intends for them.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And you know, that just sounds like good discipleship to me.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I agree, man.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So I'm sure there's a lot more ways.

Caesar Kalinowski:

to pray for your kids, you know, here, and benefits that can be realized, but hopefully this is enough to encourage folks to move forward in this area of a, of a real parenting privilege.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It really, really is.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And if we haven't

Heath Hollensbe:

already given away enough free stuff, let's get to the big three and give away some more, right?

Heath Hollensbe:

Why not?

Heath Hollensbe:

We always want to leave you with the big three takeaways from today's topic.

Heath Hollensbe:

So if nothing else, things we don't

Caesar Kalinowski:

want you to miss.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Every week you can get a printable PDF of the.

Caesar Kalinowski:

week's Big Three as a free download.

Caesar Kalinowski:

We always do that by going to everydaydisciple.

Caesar Kalinowski:

com forward slash Big Three, B I G three.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Here's the Big Three for this week.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Praying for your child's future shows that you trust God for their lives.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Amen.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Because if you didn't, you wouldn't pray for the future.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yep.

Caesar Kalinowski:

It's because it's too easy to fall into the habit of only praying for help when things go bad in our life or in the life of our child.

Caesar Kalinowski:

But see, God does truly care about their yesterdays, todays, and all of their tomorrows.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So what a privilege it is to bring your child and their future spouse and family before the throne of God.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Hmm.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And it really is a, it's showing that you trust God, like not just like he's a genie, right?

Caesar Kalinowski:

The second one, uh, God's love for our kids far surpasses our parenting skills.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Amen.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Praise God.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

None of us are perfect parents or pray as consistently for our kids as we could.

Caesar Kalinowski:

But please, please believe that God desires that your children would grow up to know him and trust him and bring him great glory with their lives.

Caesar Kalinowski:

He does.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And he's able to accomplish that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So his desire to bless them is bigger than your performance as a parent.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And he has the power and resources to do it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Like we don't always.

Caesar Kalinowski:

So he does.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Love that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

All right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Number three, um, start making prayer for your child's future and their future spouse and family.

Caesar Kalinowski:

A regular rhythm today.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You can do that.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yep.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Download that free guide.

Caesar Kalinowski:

everyday disciple.

Caesar Kalinowski:

com forward slash pray for how to start praying this way.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And then here's what I'd suggest.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Just take one of the seven ways each day, maybe before you go to bed.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And like you were suggesting, maybe you need to pull a reminder, you know, whatever time or put us put a posty, you know, right by your light switch next to your bed or whatever, you know, you work it out and then pray in this manner throughout the week.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Just one of those each week.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Hey, I'm praying for this and I'm praying for that tonight.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

If you miss one, you miss one.

Caesar Kalinowski:

But wouldn't it be amazing if like more days than not you prayed for one of these things in one of these ways.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And I truly believe that God will honor your prayers.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Cause they're already in line with his will.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yep.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Right.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And, and you'll be grateful and amazed at the favor and blessings that he's going to pour into your children's lives.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Tina.

Caesar Kalinowski:

I sit around all the time just going, I can't believe how blessed our kids lives are in all kinds of ways that like beyond our marriage and early years.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And even now, you know, it's just like, And, and favor too, you know, like their homes and just not stressing about money and all the things.

Caesar Kalinowski:

And just, I'm just good.

Caesar Kalinowski:

God, that's your favor.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yeah.

Caesar Kalinowski:

You know?

Caesar Kalinowski:

And so he were praying in his will, man, is this the way to go?

Caesar Kalinowski:

I love it.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Awesome.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Man.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Pretty timely little episode.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Pretty short.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Sweet.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Huh?

Caesar Kalinowski:

Yes.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Steady.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Make it up for some of the long, nice and snappy.

Caesar Kalinowski:

Okay, I hope you'll join me again next week and every week as we continue to look at how discipleship fits into all of life And how you can lead others in this way of life making it fun and reproducible as you go.

Caesar Kalinowski:

All right, I'll talk to you soon