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Ep.19- How to Make Every Day The Best Day Of Your Life
Episode 1926th May 2022 • World's Best Trauma Recovery Podcast • Anna Maydonova
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In this episode, I am joined by Chris Dorris as he shares his words of wisdom for making every day the best day of your life. Why not make every day the best day of your life? You can make that decision, and declare it for yourself. Chris shares with us his path through his own trauma and through radical acceptance turned that problem in his life into a gift. You are the creator of your life. It is not always easy and you are so powerful when you are deeply committed to your life. Join us for this wonderful conversation, and Chris offers my listeners the gift of a free download of his “All In” audio file.

Links:

ALL IN!: (59-minute audio file)

http://bit.ly/all-in-audio-gift 

TBOLITNFL Lecture: 

https://vimeo.com/18371436/0e9a592407 

The Odds of YOU Happening!

https://visual.ly/community/Infographics/science/what-are-odds

 

About our guest:

Chris Dorris

As a Mental Toughness Coach, I’m ultimately in the business of Success Coaching. I help people close the gap between how their lives are and how they want them to be.

I started my career as a social worker working on the streets of Atlantic City, helping the mentally ill, drug-addicted and homeless populations upgrade their lives.

I then created an internship with the Men’s Golf Team which evolved into a paid position as the formal Mental Toughness Coach.

Since then, I coached several of the top-performing sales teams and leaders from multiple Fortune 500 companies, world famous actors, NFL and NHL Coaches, business executives, Super Bowl Champions, and billionaires. 

I am the author of two books: The Daily Dose: Start All 365 Days of Your Year With a Dose of Mental Toughness in 30 Seconds or Less, and Creating Your Dream: Confidently Stepping into Your Own Brilliance, and several audio programs including the Creating Your Dream Audio Course, The Edge: Mental Toughness for Miraculous Golf, and ALL IN! as well as the online course, ALL IN! 2.0.

.

 

Thanks for listening!

It means so much to us! If you would like to continue the conversation with us, head on over to Instagram or/and Facebook for more healing, stories, and magic.  

 

Subscribe to the podcast

This journey is impossible to do on your own, so make sure to like and subscribe so we can help more people like you!

 

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If you have someone in your life, who is struggling to overcome their trauma, this is something you can give them that truly can change the course of their life forever.

 

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We appreciate every bit of feedback to make this a value-adding part of your day. Ratings and reviews from our listeners not only help us improve, but also help others find us in their podcast app. If you have a minute, an honest review on iTunes goes a long way! Thank You!!

 

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Transcripts

Anna Maydonova:

I know you, you're afraid to speak up.

Anna Maydonova:

You're scared of what other people think of you. And you

Anna Maydonova:

blame yourself for what happened to you. I know how it feels.

Anna Maydonova:

Because I've been there. If you found me, I'm so grateful you

Anna Maydonova:

are here. This podcast will give you hope. And I'm your host in a

Anna Maydonova:

made ANOVA. And I'm going to hold your hand and provide the

Anna Maydonova:

guidance. It's time for you to find your why. And turn your

Anna Maydonova:

experience into your biggest power. This is your time now. So

Anna Maydonova:

lock your door, put your headphones in, and enjoy. Chris

Anna Maydonova:

Doris, welcome to the world's best Trauma Recovery podcast.

Chris Dorris:

Thank you. Thank you for the invitation. Nice to

Chris Dorris:

see you.

Anna Maydonova:

Nice to see you too, sir. Hey, do you know

Anna Maydonova:

what's the day to day? No, today is my life. Oh, my listen. Oh,

Unknown:

I left on that one. I was trying. That's so that's so

Unknown:

great. I were I were this one for you.

Anna Maydonova:

The problem is the gift. This is perfect. Did

Anna Maydonova:

you see my post? Yes, I did. It is crazy. Tell me where this

Anna Maydonova:

best then they of my life came from?

Unknown:

That's a good question. Actually. I don't I'm not sure

Unknown:

the origination I think I just said it. One day, when someone

Unknown:

asked me it's about two years ago, someone said, How are you

Unknown:

doing? And I said, you know, what is the best damn day in my

Unknown:

life? And they said why? And I said, why not? And ever since

Unknown:

then, I have been practicing this ritual. Every single I

Unknown:

haven't missed. I've missed zero days. In two years now, where

Unknown:

every day I wake up, and oh, my bathroom mirror in dry erase

Unknown:

marker is is that what's on your shirt. It's hashtag BDD LML. So

Unknown:

it is my reminder to actually make a decision. So this is a

Unknown:

real ritual. So it doesn't take long. Some days, it takes a

Unknown:

little longer than others. But what I do is I actually make a

Unknown:

decision that as of this moment, it's the best damn day in my

Unknown:

life. And I mean it. Like it's not Kumbaya, fluffy, bullshit,

Unknown:

affirmation, foof. It's like work I'm doing. I'm saying, You

Unknown:

know what I am, declaring. This is the best day of my life. I'm

Unknown:

not waiting to see how things go. In order for that to be

Unknown:

true, there's another mantra create the state don't wait. So

Unknown:

what I'm doing is not waiting for anything great to happen in

Unknown:

order for me to create the state that accompanies the belief that

Unknown:

this wow, this this is it. Oh my God today. Holy crap. This is

Unknown:

the button I can't good am I feel right now just even acting

Unknown:

this out for you. I'm having it be true. You know, and then my

Unknown:

whole, my whole vibe has just elevated tremendously, and then

Unknown:

I affect the world in a profoundly different way. And

Unknown:

that's when the most likely, like the greatest likelihood of

Unknown:

great things happening. You know what?

Anna Maydonova:

Yeah, you inspired me. I started to call

Anna Maydonova:

every single day, my best my best day in my life. And it's

Anna Maydonova:

like a manifesting, you are creating your own day, you are

Anna Maydonova:

creating your own life. And then you know, what happened to

Anna Maydonova:

everything just started to confirm that today's the best

Anna Maydonova:

day of my life. The best the best day ever.

Unknown:

You know, I'll admit, I'll take complete ownership

Unknown:

that some days that's not very simple. It's not easy. Yep. You

Unknown:

know, like, especially if something like huge happens now.

Unknown:

My mother passed away about 18 months ago, but and like, yeah,

Unknown:

maybe I did miss a day. Maybe I didn't make the declaration.

Unknown:

Because I got a notification in the middle of the night. Maybe I

Unknown:

didn't get up that morning and say this is the best maybe I

Unknown:

missed a day you know? But I'll tell you what. Yeah, there are

Unknown:

days where it takes some work even if you just wake up and I

Unknown:

had like really weird, shitty dreams or something. I'm in a

Unknown:

funk. You know, it takes a little bit more work for me to

Unknown:

clear my head. Flush that and go Alright, no, let's let's create

Unknown:

enthusiasm. Let's have today be the best day and then let go

Unknown:

into this this day with that state. Love it. Other days. It's

Unknown:

very easy. Love it. But part of the work is part of the work

Unknown:

exactly. Right. The work that we get to do to govern our states

Unknown:

to govern our minds, which then influences how we show up in

Unknown:

life and what goes on for us.

Anna Maydonova:

Love it. I mean, brother, trees. First time I've

Anna Maydonova:

heard about you. When I was watching a video with Steve

Anna Maydonova:

Hardison on YouTube, which is the only video exists existed a

Anna Maydonova:

DOS point with Steve Hardison with our Enigma where he was

Anna Maydonova:

showing how he was coaching, those litoria and video is the

Anna Maydonova:

best offensive lineman in the N. NFL, which is bol at

Unknown:

TBO. The Almighty TBO

Anna Maydonova:

said that. But I didn't get it. And you, you will

Anna Maydonova:

on the stage pretending that you are just a toy. How does it feel

Anna Maydonova:

to be this guy on the stage with Chris or with Steve Hardison?

Unknown:

Steve, Steve's intense dude.

Unknown:

Oh, yeah.

Unknown:

He really got into character there. He kicked my ass. Do you

Unknown:

feel this? Now? Okay, so there's a lot of things going on. But

Unknown:

first of all was a privilege. It really was, you know, I was

Unknown:

working Coach Steve was my coach at that time. Okay. And it was

Unknown:

really I mean, the whole story is such a huge lesson. It's a

Unknown:

huge lesson. It's it completely changed my life. You know,

Unknown:

talking about creative state, don't wait. It's another state

Unknown:

state of infinite commitment. Now, that's what that whole

Unknown:

event was about the best being the best, best, whatever you can

Unknown:

feel the best like you. This is the world's best trauma

Unknown:

recovery. The world's best life optimization coaches, you know,

Unknown:

about choosing to be the best not waiting for acknowledgement.

Unknown:

And that's what that whole event was about. So it was a total

Unknown:

honor, first of all, for me to be there to be included in some

Unknown:

of the organization of that event, and then to be invited up

Unknown:

on stage to do the reenactment of a really profound scene where

Unknown:

Steve had asked at one point during a coaching so maybe the

Unknown:

very first coaching session that he ever had with Dussel tui, who

Unknown:

for those of you who don't know, time, duessel, tui was an

Unknown:

offensive lineman for the Arizona Cardinals football team.

Unknown:

Big, big dude. And he's

Anna Maydonova:

basically and actually, in general.

Unknown:

Yeah. Yeah, like 653 50 or something like that. Just

Unknown:

huge, right? The linemen from National Football League. So

Unknown:

anyway, that you know, the deal was it. Steven asked him during

Unknown:

a coaching session deuce, who do you think is the best lineman in

Unknown:

the entire leak and just reflected on it? And while like,

Unknown:

after maybe two seconds of reflection, Steve said, Okay,

Unknown:

thanks. Got it. And do so. I didn't I didn't answer yet.

Unknown:

Because Oh, yeah. Yeah, you did. So, Ben, Steve, they do a role

Unknown:

reversal. And Steve as to say, you'd be me, you'd be me and

Unknown:

asked me what I just asked you. So you'd be Steve, the coach.

Unknown:

And Deuce I'll be you the football player now, so good and

Unknown:

asked me that. So it just says to Steve, he says, Hey, Deus has

Unknown:

a role reversed. Says who do you think's the best offensive

Unknown:

lineman in the entire offense? That's as far as he got. And

Unknown:

Steve grabs him by a shirt and starts to save shaken from the

Unknown:

best in the league. Walk around is doing this. You know, I

Unknown:

already danced something like this is like So Steve, Steve did

Unknown:

that. And we did that reenactment. And I didn't know

Unknown:

he almost threw me off the stage. My child shaylen back.

Unknown:

You know what's really funny? I don't know if you know this. I

Unknown:

was wearing to do so chewy jersey. overtop overtop of a

Unknown:

button down shirt. which happened to be my favorite shirt

Unknown:

at the time. It was a Greg Norman buttoned down. So anyway,

Unknown:

Steve when he grabbed me to shake me all the best. He had

Unknown:

ripped my shirt. Oh, no, I had Yeah, but this is so funny. It

Unknown:

was Literally a double Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction.

Unknown:

I'm not kidding. I after this shit Adelina, after the skits

Unknown:

over, I go back in the audience and I take the jersey off to

Unknown:

give it back to his son or his daughter, whoever loaned it to

Unknown:

me. And they're like, put that back on, put that back on. So I

Unknown:

had to wear the damn jersey for the day.

Anna Maydonova:

That wasn't dance, that was actually a DNA

Anna Maydonova:

altering video, I will put the link to this video in the chat

Anna Maydonova:

in below the podcast. So,

Unknown:

you know, I'll send you the all in since that event,

Unknown:

it's neat that you brought that up, inspired me to create the

Unknown:

second best thing I've ever created. As far as content goes,

Unknown:

in my life to this date, that was about two years ago. It's my

Unknown:

all in audio program. After I came back from that event, I was

Unknown:

so inspired, that I decided to create it, like, I was so

Unknown:

captivated with how powerful we are, when we are absolutely all

Unknown:

in or infinitely committed to something. Because when we are

Unknown:

that committed, the possibility of failure actually doesn't

Unknown:

exist in our field of consciousness, like, like

Unknown:

failures, not on the radar. That's amazing. It's a state.

Unknown:

Right. And I realized that that state is an option, like we

Unknown:

actually have it available to us at all times. And the action

Unknown:

that we take who we be when we're infinitely committed is

Unknown:

just like, exponentially more powerful than when we're trying.

Unknown:

We're shooting for a goal. You know, so so I'll send you I

Unknown:

created this audio program, surely kind of wild, about a

Unknown:

month after that event, because I've been thinking about it,

Unknown:

thinking about it, thinking about it, I woke up Christmas

Unknown:

Eve morning. So it's exactly like two months after the event.

Unknown:

And I woke up and I just got my recording, we just got a

Unknown:

microphone or something, you know, and, and just made some

Unknown:

notes and then crushed it just one take. It's like 10 different

Unknown:

clips about 50. It's fit exactly 59 minutes long, total. And

Unknown:

there was no editing other than like the beginnings and the

Unknown:

ends, there was no editing in the middle, there's no message I

Unknown:

was in the zones. And I was all in, I was all in on creating the

Unknown:

all in audio. So I will send you the link. So we can include that

Unknown:

here. For the audience, get a free download perfect.

Anna Maydonova:

And for my audience, I really highly

Anna Maydonova:

recommend to jump in and listen to this recording, because

Anna Maydonova:

that's where Chris is sharing his secrets of success, Secrets

Anna Maydonova:

of mental toughness, and how he came to this point where he is

Anna Maydonova:

now. Thanks, Chris, thanks so much for sharing, hey, mental

Anna Maydonova:

toughness coach. And I know it's been a long way for you. But

Anna Maydonova:

what are some of the challenges you had to overcome? To be in

Anna Maydonova:

this position today, Chris,

Unknown:

and we can pick whatever you want. You know, I

Unknown:

have learned grew up I grew up in a family where you know, my

Unknown:

dad had passed away at a very early age, he was only in his

Unknown:

early 40s. And I was nine. And we became very poor. After he

Unknown:

passed away. We had really no virtually no income, my mom had

Unknown:

to work RAS off and just do like no small jobs or jobs. And she

Unknown:

really did work her butt off. But we were we were pretty poor.

Unknown:

And there was a lot of scarcity thinking like a lot of fear. A

Unknown:

lot of we can't afford that. We can't afford that. A lot of

Unknown:

that. Can't afford it, like just scarcity and anxiety. So I

Unknown:

learned a lot of limiting beliefs about money in

Unknown:

particular. And I'm still I'm still fixing myself on that. I'm

Unknown:

doing good. But I'll tell you what, it took a lot. It took a

Unknown:

very, very long time for me to really start making money in my

Unknown:

career because I have weird beliefs. Now that money just

Unknown:

were limiting beliefs about money and how hard it is to get

Anna Maydonova:

what was your most strongest one. Believe that

Anna Maydonova:

money? Yeah,

Unknown:

that there's that it's it's really hard to get. Yeah,

Unknown:

that's I think that's really hard to get. It's, it's really

Unknown:

hard to get. Yeah, yeah, it was. Yeah, it's funny because these

Unknown:

lessons come from all different sources. I mean, I went to

Unknown:

graduate school psychology, right for to a counseling school

Unknown:

and embedded within the conversations that went on is,

Unknown:

you know, you're going to do really nice, you're going to be

Unknown:

very meaningful work, very meaningful work, but you're not

Unknown:

going to get rich by you No. So so that's a big one. But you

Unknown:

know, I would say, Well, another one is, is abuse. You know,

Unknown:

after my father died, I was I had a sort of a father figure,

Unknown:

who was as soon as I say this, you're gonna know exactly

Unknown:

everyone's gonna know exactly where I'm going with this. He

Unknown:

was a Catholic priest. Yes. So what you're guessing. And he

Unknown:

was, he was just a really great role model. This is gonna, it's

Unknown:

just confusing for a lot of people. So if we want to unpack

Unknown:

this, we totally count. He was a really powerful role model for

Unknown:

many years. He became like a second father. And, but then

Unknown:

years later, after, I don't remember the exact ages, but

Unknown:

when I was like, in my teens, like, early teens is when sexual

Unknown:

abuse started occurring. was very confusing, because this is

Unknown:

a human being that was so safe with I loved tremendous

Unknown:

autonomy, spirituality, I mean, my life now here's the part that

Unknown:

a lot of people can't hear. My life is in large part as great

Unknown:

as it is because of many lessons that I learned from that man,

Unknown:

which I've kept. Right, you know. But wow, that that became

Unknown:

so cool. So I find out when I'm 10 that I'm adopted. I didn't I

Unknown:

didn't know until I was 10, after my dad had died, so that

Unknown:

was, that was not a good, that was stupid of them. My parents,

Unknown:

my parents messed that up. So I have a bit of an identity

Unknown:

crisis, because I'm like, at 10 years old, I'm gonna wait a

Unknown:

minute. You're okay, he wasn't my dad, and you're not my mom.

Unknown:

So who the fuck am I? So that was a big deal. Interestingly,

Unknown:

but the priest, he, he helps me through that. He really coached

Unknown:

me up you know, he spent a lot of time with me, you know,

Unknown:

feeding my soul, right having me choose confidence and self love.

Unknown:

He turned me on to consciousness and spirituality. I have a book

Unknown:

sitting right over there. Called the mustard seed, which was a

Unknown:

book that was written by a guy who goes by the name Osho now

Unknown:

Oh, sh Oh, shell. But but but his that's that wasn't his name.

Unknown:

Back then. His name was bag one Shree Rajneesh heavy book. Like,

Unknown:

it's heavy stuff. And he gave it to me when I was 13. You're

Unknown:

gonna see, you know, he told me meditation to he would take me

Unknown:

to the boardwalk down the Jersey Shore and told me to sit there

Unknown:

lies close for an hour. And clear my mind. He taught me

Unknown:

Transcendental Meditation taught me a lot of good stuff taught me

Unknown:

to be my own boss. But then then the bad shit started. Then the

Unknown:

abuse started was very, very confusing. Because I because I'm

Unknown:

like, this is unpleasant. It's very, very helpful. I hate it.

Unknown:

But maybe I'm missing something. Because maybe I'm just like,

Unknown:

getting the the, the master disciple relationship. That's

Unknown:

how fucked up it was. So So you know, that was that was a tough

Unknown:

house. It's a tough road. That was a that was a quite a long

Unknown:

road of healing after that, because so he got busted. I

Unknown:

parent, I was not the only one. I was not the only victim.

Unknown:

Right? And you know, so weird because he was a very popular,

Unknown:

he was a super popular guy. He was, um, he was a he was a

Unknown:

theology teacher at my high school, and he's very popular.

Unknown:

Teacher, everyone loved them. You know, and he was like, he

Unknown:

was the priests that everybody would pick to, you know, to do

Unknown:

their marriage ceremonies because he was cool. Or so

Unknown:

everyone thought, you know, they didn't know that about the dark

Unknown:

side, but somebody he abused one kid, and I don't even know who

Unknown:

it is, but that that that kid outed him. And so this is like

Unknown:

1985 ish. So this is like, way before all the Catholic priests,

Unknown:

you know, altar boy abuse ship got

Unknown:

exposed. So he was like an early one. And what happened was they

Unknown:

just the church just sent him away. And he never charged with

Unknown:

anything. He was just sent to some counter to go to some

Unknown:

retreat centers. You know, and he only he ended up coming back,

Unknown:

which was really weird and come back to the same parish. He came

Unknown:

back to the same area come back to the same state. You know, I

Unknown:

have no idea what kind of accountability Have you ever

Unknown:

had, but But anyway, it was weird for me because so I was

Unknown:

just so confused. I was actually angry at the kid who I didn't

Unknown:

know who was for getting them in trouble. That's how screwed

Anna Maydonova:

up I was because we conditioned. Yeah,

Unknown:

so that was a long road of severe confusion, identity

Unknown:

crisis, humiliation, you know, Emery and recovery, healing. A

Unknown:

lot of I've worked with a lot of healers. And I was able to

Unknown:

forgive him to his face, which was, which was great for me. I

Unknown:

don't think he could really hear it. I think he just was in a

Unknown:

funk. You know, I don't care. I forgave him for me. So thanks

Unknown:

for all the good lessons. I'll take it from here.

Anna Maydonova:

Chris, thank you so much for being so open and

Anna Maydonova:

honest.

Unknown:

You have I'm very uncomfortable discussing this

Unknown:

now. Because I've done, there's nothing I've worked on in my

Unknown:

life harder than that. So I can talk about it. Now. You know,

Unknown:

it, it's again, you know, the problem, this needs an asterisk,

Unknown:

the problem is the gift asterisk, if you'll have it be a

Unknown:

gift. Right. So if you do the work to have a big gift to work,

Unknown:

to be able to create from so there's another mantra, which

Unknown:

is, every set of circumstances can be created from if viewed

Unknown:

masterfully. I couldn't view this experience to happen. It

Unknown:

went over years, it was for years, it wasn't like an event.

Unknown:

It was years of sexual abuse. So so the I was not looking at

Unknown:

this, this was not a gift, but it is now. It is now 54 I would

Unknown:

say the real healing occurred in my 30s With the help of an

Unknown:

amazing master, who's a dear friend of mine colleague and

Unknown:

bestie. Dr. Allison Arnold, is not the only one. I mean, I've

Unknown:

worked with therapists in college, I worked with a

Unknown:

healers, different healers, you know, some funky ones. Some ones

Unknown:

that, you know, taught me really wild things like like this

Unknown:

beautiful lesson called radical acceptance, radical acceptance,

Unknown:

which is spectacular. It's like radically accepting yourself, as

Unknown:

you are radically accepting all of the darkness that, you know,

Unknown:

comes with being victimized. Not just being cool that radically

Unknown:

accepting everything that's going on in your past, and then

Unknown:

doing the work in order to be able to create from it. So

Unknown:

that's really the big thing, right? The problem is the gift

Unknown:

if you'll do the work to find a way to create something.

Unknown:

Excellent. And here we are, here we are, right now, you and I,

Unknown:

you have created a platform through which I am able to serve

Unknown:

now I get to utilize I'm utilizing the truth. Right my

Unknown:

truth in order to serve. So now it's a gift. My problem is now a

Unknown:

gift that I get to

Anna Maydonova:

show you understand people because you

Anna Maydonova:

know what they've gone through, because you you know how painful

Anna Maydonova:

it is. You've been there. And you've gone through this.

Unknown:

Yeah, it's dark

Anna Maydonova:

trees. What are some benefits of healing? That

Anna Maydonova:

you felt that you found? Yeah. From sexual abuse.

Unknown:

You know, I watch these shows. It's, it gets so

Unknown:

heartbroken by why there's a lot of shows now, you know, on the

Unknown:

whole Catholic priests thing. All can be huge, a huge problem.

Unknown:

And there's people that are my age, that haven't done the

Unknown:

healing work that are that are just in misery. Misery, can't

Unknown:

handle relationships, you know, they're just addicted to

Unknown:

everything. You know, for medication, medicating the pain

Unknown:

because they haven't done the work. They don't know how to do

Unknown:

the work. They might not know that there's work to be done. So

Unknown:

yeah, that breaks my heart. I'm sorry, what was the I forget the

Unknown:

question. Oh,

Anna Maydonova:

right. Oh, some of the benefits from being able

Anna Maydonova:

to experience

Unknown:

life, the beauty of life again, right. The ability

Unknown:

to experience reality as it is my belief is that reality is

Unknown:

perfect. What then so that's not a variable that doesn't that

Unknown:

doesn't change that doesn't modify that doesn't fly shoe

Unknown:

Wait, that's a lock. It's a constant. I studied astrophysics

Unknown:

for a while, and came to the discovery through that

Unknown:

experience phenomenal studies, that we exist in a universe that

Unknown:

is flawless, like genuinely flawless, flawless, but

Unknown:

unfolding for 15 billion years with flawless choreography. So

Unknown:

that's pretty damn cool. The odds of any of us happening,

Unknown:

like as close to zero without it being zero. Right? There's a guy

Unknown:

did the math on us a guy from Harvard alley, Ben Nazer. You if

Unknown:

anybody wants to Google that it's really cool. Just Google

Unknown:

Ali Al is his first name, last name bi N A CIR? Just put le

Unknown:

blazer? What are the odds? And you'll get a PDF? It's cool. He

Unknown:

he did the math on the odds of us. It's really fun to look at.

Unknown:

And but the bottom line, Anna, is that like the the number of

Unknown:

particles in the cosmos is estimated to be one or 10?

Unknown:

Sorry, 10 to the ADF power 10 With 80 zeros after? That's a

Unknown:

big ask no. But it's actually a very tiny number. Compared to

Unknown:

the odds of you, the odds of you occurring any one of us

Unknown:

occurring precisely as we are, is actually we are a one in 10

Unknown:

to the 2.7 Millions power that's 10 with 2.7 million zeros after

Unknown:

it. It says race like close, basically impossible, right? So

Unknown:

we got into the impossible party winning. Without the healing, I

Unknown:

couldn't appreciate that. You know, without having done the

Unknown:

work, I would just be a victim. So I was victimized. I am not a

Unknown:

victim. I was until I did the work. So now, now that I learned

Unknown:

that it's possible to be victimized and not be a victim.

Unknown:

I am free. I am free from some of that conditioning of my past

Unknown:

I would have me be poor me can't believe this should happen to

Unknown:

me. Why is this going to happen? To me? This is unfair first. I

Unknown:

mean, I don't even I get abandoned by my bio family, then

Unknown:

my adoptive dad dies when I'm nine. And then this pre starts

Unknown:

molest me. What the fuck? That's an easy road to go down.

Anna Maydonova:

It's easy to stuck in this in this mindset,

Anna Maydonova:

exactly. To be

Unknown:

right. And when I'm in that mentality, I am not free to

Unknown:

experience and CO create with the magic that the universe is.

Unknown:

So freeing ourselves from the conditioning of our past so I

Unknown:

can experience reality as it is, which is spectacular. And you

Unknown:

know, we are mathematically speaking like I just said where

Unknown:

miracles. So we're designed to create miracles. When I'm in

Unknown:

victim thinking, or in that experience, I can't create just

Unknown:

survive. I can't thrive, survive. So the good news is

Unknown:

that that's possibility, right is that we can do the work to

Unknown:

heal. It's painful,

Anna Maydonova:

I can resonate. I can resonate with you, Chris,

Anna Maydonova:

so much. I've also I've been stuck in victim mentality for

Anna Maydonova:

many years for nearly 20 years. Until one day I just opened up

Anna Maydonova:

because I just couldn't, I couldn't do this anymore. I've

Anna Maydonova:

been sexually abused. I've been also abandoned my biological

Anna Maydonova:

father. He didn't didn't want to do anything with me. I saw him

Anna Maydonova:

maybe like three times or four times in my life for five

Anna Maydonova:

minutes. And then being sexually abused from 15 to 21 years old.

Anna Maydonova:

Two pregnancies to force illegal abortions. And then when I was

Anna Maydonova:

trying to become a mom, I had now already 16 consecutive

Anna Maydonova:

miscarriages including two o'clock pregnancies. And one

Anna Maydonova:

ectopic pregnancy. It's where the the embryo stuck in your

Anna Maydonova:

fallopian tube. My tube burst and I was bleeding for seven

Anna Maydonova:

days. And It nearly killed me. And I was like, you know, but

Anna Maydonova:

now I don't feel like these. Past experience is holding me

Anna Maydonova:

back. I literally turn it into my superpower. I don't allow my

Anna Maydonova:

trauma to define me anymore. And it's it's a power you getting

Anna Maydonova:

your power back. You need to understand that you are

Anna Maydonova:

responsible for your own life. No one is coming to save your

Anna Maydonova:

life. And what is soon why I'm telling you this. As soon as my

Anna Maydonova:

mind shifted, so the world became much brighter. The life

Anna Maydonova:

became much more fulfilled. I've got my feelings back. I was able

Anna Maydonova:

to tell my mom, what's happened to me. She was the scariest

Anna Maydonova:

person tell to the scariest?

Unknown:

Huh? You know, I through Facebook. I reconnected

Unknown:

years ago with the principal of the grade school that I went to.

Unknown:

And that's, that's, she's a Catholic nun. And she lived in

Unknown:

the convent, which is right next to the rectory where the priests

Unknown:

split. So she knew the priest whose name I'm not saying very,

Unknown:

very, very well. So so she and I stayed in touch. She's so

Unknown:

awesome. She's super great. She was close with my mom. You know?

Unknown:

So I got into a conversation with her recently this past year

Unknown:

about it. She had no idea. She had no idea. She was like,

Unknown:

shocked. She was heartbroken. I said, Sister, it's okay. I'm

Unknown:

good. Now. I did the work. And I want to reiterate that, because

Unknown:

I want to be very sensitive to people that are listening to

Unknown:

this. The work is hard. The healing work is hard. And scary.

Anna Maydonova:

And worth every single bit. Why are you saying

Anna Maydonova:

it's hard? Was it what was the hardest part?

Unknown:

Pain? emotional pain, deception, confusion for me?

Unknown:

Yeah, it's like, how could this happen? How could this happen to

Unknown:

me? Getting out of that, so So? So? It's a good question. You're

Unknown:

asking me really, because heart is really just a judgment. So

Unknown:

maybe heart isn't the right word. And maybe it's just, it's

Unknown:

painful? Until it isn't. That's what that's a really good

Unknown:

distinction. And a good for you. Thanks for asking that. Because

Unknown:

I disagree with my interpretation of that now. So I

Unknown:

won't. So way to go. Yeah, it's not hard. It's painful. Pain is

Unknown:

inevitable. Suffering is optional. Right? It's an

Unknown:

experience is simply an experience. It's painful. But

Unknown:

that doesn't mean it's not suffering. It's pain. And you

Unknown:

know, one of the coolest things I've ever learned was, I learned

Unknown:

from my studies, I went to India, and studied at a place

Unknown:

called the Oneness University. And one of the nuggets that I

Unknown:

walked away with not experience is this. This is so great.

Unknown:

Everything when experienced fully becomes joy. How sweet is

Unknown:

that?

Anna Maydonova:

Yeah, tell it again,

Unknown:

everything, when experienced fully becomes joy.

Unknown:

So there's this exercise they would have us do, and they call

Unknown:

it locking yourself in the room with a tiger. Because they

Unknown:

actually have Tiger. Tiger, of course, is the metaphor for the

Unknown:

pain. So you lock yourself in the room with a tiger and you

Unknown:

jump in its mouth, and it eats and it's gonna do it. And that

Unknown:

sucks. So what we do though, as humans is we go we go to all the

Unknown:

work of avoiding the pain, avoiding the pain, avoiding the

Unknown:

pain, all kinds of ego games to avoid pain, addictions, you

Unknown:

know, humor, the production, rationalization, all kinds of

Unknown:

ego games to avoid the pain, which is unnecessary, our

Unknown:

culture teaches us to run away from the pain, avoid the pain,

Unknown:

as opposed to no drowned in it. Run into it, lock yourself, the

Unknown:

tiger is the source of the pain, jump into the mouth. And the

Unknown:

paradox is that once you experienced that pain fully, for

Unknown:

as long as it needs to occur, which I'm sure varies

Unknown:

tremendously for different people. The pain goes away the

Unknown:

pain solves the pain evolves, which is fascinating. It's an

Unknown:

emotion.

Anna Maydonova:

And when we the more we try to avoid to feel

Anna Maydonova:

this emotion, the bigger it becomes the the stronger it

Anna Maydonova:

starts in our body. And the bigger it grows inside us. And

Anna Maydonova:

then it becomes harder, harder to go through this pain. And I

Anna Maydonova:

love this analogy. You need to lock yourself in the room with a

Anna Maydonova:

tiger because after this that's where the magic happens. I

Unknown:

recommend doing that though. If you are really

Unknown:

traumatized. I would recommend doing that with a trained

Unknown:

professional. Because it can be tiring, okay. It can be really,

Unknown:

really traumatizing if you don't have support are, you know, you

Unknown:

might be taking yourself down a wormhole there, right that you

Unknown:

may not be equipped to deal masterfully with. So when we

Unknown:

were in India, we would stick there these people were very

Unknown:

trained these teachers are very, very nice. That's all they've

Unknown:

ever done their whole lives. So they're there with you know, and

Unknown:

you're laying on the ground and you're think you use your

Unknown:

thoughts to think your way into the painful emotions. Right?

Unknown:

That mean that's where it all comes from right we always think

Unknown:

our way into emotion. So we think we use our thinking to get

Unknown:

into the emotion. And then they say, hold that charge, stop

Unknown:

thinking hold the charge the pain, which again isn't bad.

Unknown:

It's simply an experience. Yep. Until we judge it and go, Oh,

Unknown:

sucks. I wish this was over. Now it's suffering. Right. So, which

Unknown:

is a huge distinction right there, which is don't touch your

Unknown:

pain, just experience it. Like when I go to the dentist, and

Unknown:

they're doing a deep cleaning out, oh, and my hands are

Unknown:

starting to grab on to you know, I'm a tense, I'm getting all

Unknown:

tense. It's a great practice, right? Just relax, breathe. Stop

Unknown:

judging that sensation of physical pain, stop judging,

Unknown:

just experience it as it is, which is like totally free. It's

Unknown:

an unbelievable shift away from sucks and sucks This sucks to

Unknown:

experience. But it was very guided there in India. So we

Unknown:

would take hours, you know, so they would have us think our way

Unknown:

activate the emotional charge, the pain and then just hold the

Unknown:

charge. Notice as you go to the effort of trying to think your

Unknown:

way out of it. You know, the ego games and just get back in like

Unknown:

kind of drowning yourself in the pool of pain, and then realizing

Unknown:

that the pain doesn't govern it. If you like what you said, What

Unknown:

you resist persists. When you join it. The paradox is it

Unknown:

alleviates now this is a super simplification. Okay, so I want

Unknown:

again, I want to acknowledge, I'm sure that there are people

Unknown:

in your tribe, your audience here that have experienced

Unknown:

severe trauma, a million times worse than my story. You know,

Unknown:

if they haven't gotten a don't just hear that exercise and

Unknown:

think, oh, I'll just go heal myself by locking myself in the

Unknown:

room with a tiger get find find. There's so many amazing

Unknown:

professionals are trained in the healing arts. Yeah, and find

Unknown:

them

Anna Maydonova:

and do the work. It's much easier when you have

Anna Maydonova:

someone in your corner who understands you know, no

Anna Maydonova:

judgement.

Unknown:

There's zero chance that I would be as peaceful,

Unknown:

happy, full of gratitude and enthusiasm and successful as I

Unknown:

am. I define success as having your life on your terms. If I if

Unknown:

it weren't for all the healers that I had in my life that I

Unknown:

sought. I sought

Anna Maydonova:

out interesting knowing what do you know now?

Anna Maydonova:

What would you say to your 20 years old self?

Unknown:

Huh? That's fun. Yeah, I've thought about this before,

Unknown:

I would, I would tell him that your success is guaranteed.

Unknown:

Don't ruin any time with fear. Just stay the path. Stay with

Unknown:

your passion, sharpen your saw, do the work. And enjoy all of

Unknown:

the getting there. Don't ruin it with wishing everything was

Unknown:

different wishing it was different. Enjoy the ambiguity.

Unknown:

Enjoy the not knowing how it's gonna work and choose all in

Unknown:

this choose to know that you're going to create that you are in

Unknown:

the process of creating your life as you want it to be. And

Unknown:

don't ruin it with so

Anna Maydonova:

much fun. Love it. Love it. And Chris Doris,

Anna Maydonova:

one of the world's best mental toughness coaches

Unknown:

I'm sorry

Anna Maydonova:

No, no, I mean, one of us won one of the world's

Anna Maydonova:

best the tribe world's best mental toughness coach last year

Anna Maydonova:

one of one of the chapters

Unknown:

you know that's that's a big thing. Like, that's

Unknown:

beautiful. It's like being able to you know the the subtitle of

Unknown:

my first book is I think I love it. The time I feel like manta

Unknown:

ray, but the subtitle is badass confidently

Anna Maydonova:

stepping into your own brilliance. Right? Yes.

Unknown:

Being comfortable being the best in the world at your

Unknown:

craft and then we're not comparing ourselves to others.

Unknown:

I'm just being the best. Exactly.

Anna Maydonova:

It is. It's like with me, it's my commitment. And

Anna Maydonova:

by the way, world best started it with you from you, you know

Anna Maydonova:

this. So another hashtag being a tough this coach, my my question

Anna Maydonova:

is, what challenges do you still have

Unknown:

being human? You know, Byron Katie is one of my

Unknown:

favorite teachers. I've never met her, but I feel like I have

Unknown:

because I know people who know her so well, like Steve

Unknown:

Hardison, and Steve Chandler, this is her. And one of my she's

Unknown:

got so many amazing, she's got so many amazing quotes, but my

Unknown:

favorite one of hers is this until you are able to respond to

Unknown:

all of life with enthusiasm. Your work isn't done. Because

Unknown:

that. So I am I am actively reducing the amount of time that

Unknown:

passes between an event occurring in my life that is

Unknown:

something I wasn't asking for. And getting to enthusiasm and

Unknown:

creation, I'm shrinking the amount of time. So I still have

Unknown:

a problem with what is a lot. Because I scratched my, my eye

Unknown:

brow earlier. And I was looking at I'm like, Dude, are you

Unknown:

bleeding? Like on this call? So I'm like, that sucks. That's me,

Unknown:

hey, internal conflict. Happens all day. Right? I mean, just

Unknown:

think about seriously, this is a cool thing. Because they think

Unknown:

about how much of your life you spend in the state of wishing

Unknown:

shit was different. And it's like a lot. If you're, like,

Unknown:

honest. So I'm spending less time and wishing stuff was

Unknown:

different. The I and my first client. I'm a mental coach,

Unknown:

because I was a whack job. I was a train wreck. So I have all the

Unknown:

same. I still, I still resist reality, I still struggle

Unknown:

against reality. I just do it a lot less. I do it less today

Unknown:

than I did yesterday. I'll do less tomorrow than I do today.

Anna Maydonova:

Because you use your own daily dose. Yes, I

Unknown:

give I sign up for it. I get it every morning. And I so

Unknown:

it's nice because I get to read it. I forgot that I wrote that

Unknown:

one. I'm like, Oh, that's pretty good. Some days I read it. I'm

Unknown:

like, that one's lazy. But other times I read it like there's

Unknown:

there's a spelling error. I don't get to go fix it.

Anna Maydonova:

This is a good one. Yeah. So the book we're

Anna Maydonova:

talking about the crease brought the Bailey doors start all 365

Anna Maydonova:

days of your year, with a dose of mental toughness in 30

Anna Maydonova:

seconds or less.

Unknown:

Yep, you can get on that list, you can have that

Unknown:

emailed to you the book was created from the email. So it's

Unknown:

an action email that goes out every morning at 6am, wherever

Unknown:

around six 7am Wherever you are in the world. And people can

Unknown:

sign up for that if they go to my website.

Anna Maydonova:

This is bloody powerful. If you're having a not

Anna Maydonova:

a good day.

Unknown:

It's great. Because it's like, you know, it's like,

Unknown:

here's my copyright. And it's just like, it's a little you

Unknown:

know, this one might take longer than 30 days.

Anna Maydonova:

Is his book. Yeah. Yeah. I'll send the link

Anna Maydonova:

to this book as well. All right, yeah, link

Unknown:

for it. Or they could just sign up the book is fun.

Unknown:

But I mean, getting it in your mailbox every day is really very

Unknown:

useful.

Anna Maydonova:

Where people can find you. Yeah,

Unknown:

Christopher door. Thank you for asking that. And it's my

Unknown:

website is awesome. I love my website, very proud of it's

Unknown:

cool. Yeah, it's fun. And everything's there. So it's

Unknown:

Christopher doris.com. So my last name is D O R R I S. So

Unknown:

Christopher doors.com. And right on the homepage, you can sign up

Unknown:

for the Daily Dose. And that if anybody wants to reach out to

Unknown:

me, you can email me through that websites contact.

Anna Maydonova:

Chris, before we go, do you have any concluding

Anna Maydonova:

thoughts?

Unknown:

Yeah, it's, it's something we talked about

Unknown:

earlier. Okay. We are well, not in this language. Each of us is

Unknown:

an excuse my language, each of us is an expression of divine

Unknown:

grace in human form. We are designed we are part of a

Unknown:

perfectly flawless operating system, a peaceful Cosmos, where

Unknown:

even the most cataclysmic event that occurs within it, which is

Unknown:

star going kaboom. That's where the building blocks of life

Unknown:

heavy elements of carbon and oxygen are formulated. So

Unknown:

everything's purposeful and Right. Right, so magic is all

Unknown:

there is. That's the constant in this equation that we call life.

Unknown:

The variable is my ability to slow down enough and vibe high

Unknown:

enough so that I can co create

Anna Maydonova:

without Oh, thanks, Chris. Ladies and

Anna Maydonova:

gentleman, Mr. Chris, Doris. Thank you for being here. I know

Anna Maydonova:

it's not easy. But there is a part of you who is ready to take

Anna Maydonova:

this journey all the way. And I can help. Reach out to me

Anna Maydonova:

directly at Elena at nma the nova.com to get work. You can

Anna Maydonova:

also connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn,

Anna Maydonova:

for more healing stories and magic. This journey is

Anna Maydonova:

impossible to do on your own. So make sure to like, subscribe,

Anna Maydonova:

and review the podcast so we can help more people like you. If

Anna Maydonova:

you have someone in your life, who is struggling to overcome

Anna Maydonova:

their trauma, this is something you can give them that truly can

Anna Maydonova:

change the course of their life forever. We'll see you next time

Anna Maydonova:

for another episode of the world's best Trauma Recovery

Anna Maydonova:

podcast. And just remember, you are able to help yourself and

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