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The Difference Between You And A Tree
Episode 269th June 2021 • The Daily Podcast with Jonathan Doyle • Jonathan Doyle
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Wow....in this episode I cover pretty much everything. How can you develop yourself over the long haul of life? What is the difference between you and a tree? Why is it OK not to be normal? If you need some encouragement then this is the episode for you.

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Well, Hey everybody, Jonathan DOR with you.

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Once again, welcome back to the daily podcast.

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Really great to have the pleasure of your company.

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I was checking the stats yesterday and the numbers have been really growing.

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So for all of you out there sharing this in various places.

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Thank you so much.

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If you like what you're hearing, sending it on to family and friends or posting it

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on your various social media platforms.

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Is a real blessing.

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So thanks for doing that.

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It's great to see this reaching more people.

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So let's get down to it.

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The purpose of this podcast is to simply give all of us a little

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nudge each day, a little bit of.

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Inspiration education formation a little bit of something that just helps us

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think more positively about our lives.

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You know, as I've said so many times, you don't need a great

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big complex plan of change.

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To change your life.

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What you usually need is just one or two good ideas that

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you're actually going to use.

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It doesn't matter if we have access to the best information.

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What matters is what we actually do with the information we have.

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So.

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I was coaching somebody in the states recently, and there was sort of saying

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to them, look, you've got to remember.

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Here is the foundational principle feelings, follow actions,

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feelings, follow actions.

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A lot of times we want different things in our lives.

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We want change, but we don't feel like it creating the chain.

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So always remember regular listeners know this is one of my go-to mantra is that

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those feelings that you're after in life really come at the end of taking action.

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They don't usually precede them.

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You know, sometimes they do sometimes.

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You know, there'll be a, you'll feel positive about doing something

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and you're moving that direction.

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But so much of the time in life, creating something different, a better

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marriage, better parenting, better, better career, a better exam results,

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better sporting or fitness outcomes, whatever it is for any one of us

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often, there will be some pushback.

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There'll be some resistance.

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I remember being in Jackson, Mississippi.

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About 18 months ago and looking at from the hotel room, seeing.

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These huge trains that cross the continental United States.

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You know, these vast trains.

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We have them here in Australia too often, but we don't see them that often.

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Cause there.

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Usually out in the mining areas, but I remember seeing this one in Jackson.

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And being struck by the process of inertia, which is, you know, you've got

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this vast array of wagons and you've got these two big diesel engines on the

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front and you hear them powering up.

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And you see.

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But then for ages, there's no movement.

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Because it takes this enormous amount of energy to begin the process of movement.

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But once they move, once they get those wagons rolling, then you get momentum.

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And then the engines don't have to put out as much power.

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So it's similar for us when we're trying to create change that often.

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You know, it's these, uh, It's the early phase.

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It's that starting a new goals, starting a new thing in your life where

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the resistance can be pretty tough.

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So I want to give you that encouragement that if there's something in your

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life right now that you would like to be a little bit different, do

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not be surprised if it's difficult.

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You know, it's so easy, isn't it?

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So many people.

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Uh, you know, early in January they had gym memberships go through the roof.

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I was down in the gym this morning.

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Uh, it's almost snowing outside.

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And, uh, you know, you didn't have to fight for equipment this morning,

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you know, during midweek sort of early in the morning, mid morning

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now here it's, uh, it's not as busy, so there's this big influx when

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everybody wants to create change, but then it's this longer road, right?

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It's what we're doing every single day.

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That matters.

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It's not, we'll be doing this once.

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You know, we occasionally it's matters what happens every day.

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Right.

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That was a long introduction.

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I just want to encourage you.

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Okay.

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There's I'm trying to do, I'm just trying to say that.

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When you're ready to do something different, just press

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pay yourself per space itself.

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Prepare yourself for difficulty, and then you'll get some momentum

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once you've stuck at it now.

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Today, I'm quoting from a American psychotherapist, uh, born in

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1885 by the name of Karen Horney.

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And I love a couple of quotes.

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I want to share with you the first one.

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Is great.

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It's very simple.

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She says a normal human being.

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Does not exist.

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So this is somebody who was a, you know, I had thought very deeply about

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psychoanalysis had done a huge amount of counseling and psychotherapy with people.

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And the good news she has first today is if you've ever felt that,

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um, some of the stuff that goes through your head is just, if people

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knew about it, It wouldn't be good.

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Well, relax.

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We're all pretty much somewhere on a large spectrum.

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Um, a normal human being does not exist.

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So if you ever feel that you need to be different.

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Have you ever feel that if you are only like X fill in the blank, if I

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had their looks, their hair, their money, their friendships, their

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marriage, whatever, then I'd be happy.

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Now everybody's got stuff, friends, everybody's carrying something.

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So cut yourself some slack today, wherever you are in the journey.

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Because according to psychotherapist, Karen, Horney a normal human being.

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It does not exist.

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I mean, how would you even define it?

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Right.

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I mean, think of the complexity of the human brain.

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And, uh, all our life experiences, the hundreds of millions,

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billions of permutations and things that have shaped us.

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How could we point to one person and say, you know what, that's normal.

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You ain't like that.

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And you got a problem.

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So be encouraged today, wherever you are in your journey.

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That we're all traveling some way.

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Now, the other thing I wanted to share with you from her as a

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really cool quote here, she says this, there is no good reason.

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Why we should not develop and change until the last day we live.

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So listen to that again.

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There is no good reason why we should not develop and change

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until the last day we live.

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So she's helping us understand that there, the moment in life that we

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are truly stationary the moment in life, when you find yourself.

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Really going nowhere for an extended period of time.

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We have a big problem.

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Now what I mean, there's times in life where you don't have calm

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and some peace and things are kind of just ticking along nicely.

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I'm talking about what happens when we really stop trying to grow.

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And she's telling us here that there is no reason.

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There's no psychoanalytical reason.

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Why we should ever stop growing and changing.

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People used to talk about.

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You know, we're not so much human beings as human becomings.

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I used to teach this on stage because my second master's program was in something

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called philosophical anthropology.

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And philosophical anthropology is kind of the deep philosophical

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study of what it means to be human.

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And I used to teach on stage that if you look at animals, right, if you

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look at the natural world, I used to say to people, what can a dog do?

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To be more dog-like.

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You know, you've got a dog and what could that dog do to be more dog-like and

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sometimes people have their hands and say, well, well, maybe you could bark more.

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And I would say, well, you know what all that would do would make it.

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We just make it a more annoying dog.

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It wouldn't make it any more.

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Dog-like it'd just be a dog to bark more.

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You see, in philosophy, these things are called accidents of nature.

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Um, You know, It was called accidents of our identity.

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And by accident, it doesn't mean like, uh, you know, your trip over at an accident

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means it's something, that's an aspect of something, but it's not crucial to it.

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You know, so, you know, whether a dog, you know, imagine the dog had an illness

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and it had, it's never barked again.

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Would it still be a dog?

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And everyone's got, I know you're all listening, going, Jonathan.

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Have you been like hanging out with Yoda?

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Like this is getting really weird.

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Stay with me, right.

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If they don't come back, it's still a dog.

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It's just a dog.

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That's what it is.

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And someone could say, well, what if it was bigger?

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And a German shepherd is a Regal dog and I'm going well, we could have arguments.

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That's that's the aesthetics.

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Isn't it.

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That's like.

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Our, our opinions about the ideal dog.

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So, but a dog can't be any more dog.

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Like it's just a dog.

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It's what it does.

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Cat can't be any more cat, like a lemming.

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I, uh, I don't know, a salamander.

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I'm just picking things out of the air here and the tree can't be any more.

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Tree-like be different kinds of trees and you might see a huge Oak tree.

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And so that's magnificent.

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You see a little, little tree and say, well, it's just still a tree, right?

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It's still doing its thing.

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And here's the point.

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Everything in the created world.

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Is what it is.

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It does what it does.

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It has a kind of, uh, what we call a teleology.

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Its purpose is to be what it is.

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It's just to be what it is.

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So a dog's job is to be a dog tree's job is to be a tree.

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So what's a human's job.

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And this is where it gets really interesting because humans are

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the only thing that we know of that can become more human.

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Bob.

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And the question is, what does that mean?

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Well, I'm going to argue.

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Oh, really?

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I do.

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I didn't plan to do this today, but I think it's, it's good stuff.

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Um, you know, the ancient Greeks used to believe in this thing called a Damon.

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Not a demon Damon and a Damon was kind of like the way I explain it to people.

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It's like software it's like the Greeks believed that stamped into

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our inner being was our Damon, which was kind of like our source code.

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And in that source code was everything that we could

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possibly become in this life.

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Right.

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All the capacity, the energy.

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All the good we could do the talents.

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We could develop the music.

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We could play.

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The friendships we get to have all of this inner potential was stamped there.

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Into our inner essence, our Damon.

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And the Greeks believed that the job of in life was to become

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what they called a Uday Mon.

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And a UDA Mon was a person, man or woman.

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Who had fully developed their Dame on and basically had become all

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that they could become in life.

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And so, you know, we, we, we point to people in life you're pointing

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and Nelson Mandela's and your Dalai Lamas, and your point to famous

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historical figures, you know, your George Washington's, Abraham Lincoln's.

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You know, you could pick any number of amazing women, men and

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women look up . She died at 23, 22, 23, and she fully was living.

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Let me tell you that.

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So the point is that we all have this inner capacity, this, all

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this, this potential in life.

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And I think what Karen Horney is reminding us of here.

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Is that there's no excuse to stop growing.

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There's just none.

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That it's almost like the universe, God gives us this responsibility.

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You know anything God expects us to do too much.

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I don't think God's sitting there going, you know what?

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Gosh, if this humanity doesn't fix this problem, what are we going to do?

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The universe is going to explode.

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Yeah, basically, God's got, I think.

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I think God's got stuff covered.

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All right.

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I don't think he gets worried about much.

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So the point is that, what does God want of us?

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And if you're not a person of faith, Well, ask yourself the ubiquitous.

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Supplementary question.

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What is the universe?

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One of us.

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I think what it wants is for us to become fully who we are.

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And that doesn't mean narcissism and that doesn't mean getting stuff.

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It means.

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Loving fully living fully experiencing fully.

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After I get out of the studio, I'm a.

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Just about to sign up for my next major endurance event, which

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is a 255 kilometer day race.

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On the bike rides.

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There's 255 K and I think there's about four and a half kilometers

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of vertical climbing in that.

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And I've been, I've been just, you know, I did 185 the other day and I'm

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like, well, I don't do two 55 and this little voice, you know, this voice cause

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you have this voice to the voice goes.

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Well, Jonathan, while you want to do that.

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You know, you'll be tired and blah, blah, blah.

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Why, why are you still doing this?

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And I'm going, Hey, little voice, shush.

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When, when I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

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So, you know, there's this desire in me to keep doing epic stuff.

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So that when I am old, I say, damn, I remember doing that 255 K race.

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And that was awesome.

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And my kids see it and they go, dad, that's hectic.

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And my kids grew up seeing that stuff.

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I don't expect them to do it, but I want them to see

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somebody who was trying to live.

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So friends, if you're stuck right now, Uh, if you feel on the, of you dealing with

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depression or crisis or pain, whatever it is, just hang in there because.

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We're on a journey.

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We're all on this journey together of growing and contributing

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and developing ourselves.

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So last thing is to, you know, is to keep an eye out for those

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things that retard this journey.

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And by that, I mean, Your phone mostly for most people.

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Um, but I'm joking, but basically distraction, like, you know, food TV.

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Uh, cynicism.

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A lot of people these days, they get hung up in being, you know, a

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bit despairing and cynical about the world and they withdraw into that.

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And there's all these different ways that we can retreat from life.

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So, what we need to do is look into our lives and look at those things that stop

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us from living and contributing fully.

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All right.

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We have covered some ground friends.

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Haven't we we've done dogs, trees, cat, salamanders.

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Karen.

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Horney his perspective on a normal humanity.

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We've done.

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Eudaimonia we've done philosophical anthropology and

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you're getting this for free.

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They'll gratitude people.

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Um, and if you'd like to support me, please come across to patrion.com

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and, uh, if you could make a contribution there, that'd be awesome.

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This is blessing to you.

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Please do that.

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Uh, friends, that's it today.

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Get out there, grow, contribute, um, develop yourself.

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Find something cool to do start something that you've been avoiding.

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Uh, make that phone call, fix that friendship.

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Do something grow, live change before the clock stops.

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Okay.

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Please hit subscribe.

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Make sure you've subscribed to the podcast wherever you're hearing it.

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Everything else you need to know about me, you can find on the

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website, Jonathan doyle.co dot C O.

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Uh, patrion.com.

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Do a search.

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Jonathan Doyle hit subscribe, share this with some friends.

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God bless you, everybody.

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Uh, I really feel.

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You know, as I'm in the studio here, I just feel that someone's listening.

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And her mom is bad apart from her and I you're out there.

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And I hope this has been a blessing to you.

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So, you know, hanging in there.

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The world is a wide and good place and better days are ahead all right my name

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is jonathan doyle this has been the daily podcast god bless you everybody And i'll

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