127: Why You Shouldn’t Just Ignore Your Kids’ Fighting + What To Do Instead // Dr. Laura Markham
We’re back this week with Part 2 in a series on sibling rivalry and kids fighting with parenting expert, Dr. Laura Markham!
Much of the common advice that we hear about sibling conflict, even from parenting gurus and experts, is advice like, “Just ignore it when they fight! It’s natural!”
While that approach is certainly easier for me as a mom than trying to figure out a proactive solution to helping my kids get along, it didn’t seem to work for my two strong willed kids, and it didn’t feel right in my heart either. Just ignore it when my kids are saying horrible things to each other or physically aggressive with each other?
Today on the podcast, Dr. Laura teaches us why we should not just ignore sibling rivalry and how we can coach children to respectfully resolve conflicts instead.
We can use three steps to be an interpreter during our children's arguments, not a referee or a judge:
Just state the problem without judgement, empathizing with both sides.
If children are ready to talk, encourage them to express to each other what they need, without attacking.
Guide the children through a brainstorming session to come up with possible solutions and see if they can find one that works for both people.