Ep. 280: Molly Patrick - Ready to Make Lasting Change? Your Future Self Will Thank You

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:00:00

I'm Rheb Esselstyn and you're listening to the Plan Strong podcast.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:00:05

Plan Strong Cousins.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:00:07

Can you believe that we are already getting ready to turn the corner on a new year?

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yesterday that it was January: 2024

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o just a little bit better in: 2025

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What are some of your self improvement goals?

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And can you silence that harsh self critic that resides in all of us and embrace more vulnerability and self love?

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Today's inspiring episode with Molly Patrick will shine a light on how to do just that.

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And we'll have her story right after these words from Plantstrong.

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Molly Patrick, Co Founder of Clean Food Dirty Girl didn't have the most conventional upbringing.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:03:11

She lived with her family in a teepee of all the crazy things without any kind of modern amenities which certainly shaped her resilient character.

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She also began drinking at a very young age to combat shyness and social anxiety, and as her drinking escalated, she found herself trapped in a cycle of addiction, often using it as a crutch to navigate social situations.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:03:41

And the funny thing, throughout most of her adult life Molly has also been living a vegan lifestyle but still struggled with alcohol, smoking and all kinds of other self sabotaging behaviors.

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Now a critical turning point came at the age of 35 when she recognized that the lifestyle that she was living was unsustainable and detrimental to her well being and her business.

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Today on the Plan Strong podcast, Molly shares her journey of transformation from a life of a heavy drinking and smoking woman to embracing a healthy plant based lifestyle and running a successful online business where delicious and nutritious food is the focus.

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How in the world did Molly turn it around?

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A whole lot of self forgiveness, vulnerability and hard work.

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Has it been easy?

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No way.

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But learning to embrace the suck, as Molly likes to say, has also been a part of the self healing journey which you're going to hear about right now.

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So let's all embrace our imperfections and explore self love with Molly Patrick.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:05:05

Molly Patrick, welcome to the Plantstrong podcast.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:05:09

Where in the world am I talking to you from today?

Molly Patrick: 00:05:14

Hello Rip.

Molly Patrick: 00:05:15

Thank you for having me.

Molly Patrick: 00:05:16

I am in my house on Maui this morning at 7:03 this morning from beautiful Hawaii.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:05:25

Wow.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:05:26

Wow.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:05:28

How long have you been in in Hawaii?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:05:30

I'm a little bit jealous.

Molly Patrick: 00:05:32

Hahaha.

Molly Patrick: 00:05:34

I've been in Hawaii since: 2016

Molly Patrick: 00:05:37

It's the the longest state I've ever lived in.

Molly Patrick: 00:05:40

I moved around so many times in my life.

Molly Patrick: 00:05:42

But I've been here since: 2016

Molly Patrick: 00:05:44

I moved to the Big Island.

Molly Patrick: 00:05:45

Then in: 2019

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:05:47

So I, I, I have been to both those islands.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:05:51

I've probably been to the Big Island 20 times, into Maui 14 times.

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So I know them both pretty well.

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drew you to the big island in: 2016

Molly Patrick: 00:06:05

just started the business in: 2014

Molly Patrick: 00:06:23

And so in: 2016

Molly Patrick: 00:06:31

And we, you know, it's just, it's just such a beautiful place.

Molly Patrick: 00:06:36

The energy really called to us.

Molly Patrick: 00:06:38

It, something was just calling us here.

Molly Patrick: 00:06:40

So that's, we went, you know, we did it how we could do it at the time.

Molly Patrick: 00:06:44

And then eventually when we could afford it, moved to move to Maui.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:06:49

Wow.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:06:50

What, where were you on the Big Island?

Molly Patrick: 00:06:52

We were on the east side, so we were on the super, super rainy, rainy, rainy side near the Hilo area.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:06:59

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:07:02

Really beautiful.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:07:03

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:07:04

And so how have you enjoyed Maui compared to the Big Island?

Molly Patrick: 00:07:07

I love it.

Molly Patrick: 00:07:08

I was really getting sick of the gray and the rain and I was like, hey, I moved to Hawaii, I want some sun.

Molly Patrick: 00:07:15

So I really love Maui.

Molly Patrick: 00:07:16

I feel very at home here and it's a beautiful place to live.

Molly Patrick: 00:07:22

I do miss seasons a little bit, but I'm going to Europe for a couple of months at the end of the year to get my like winter, my winter in.

Molly Patrick: 00:07:31

But it's beautiful.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:07:35

How, how is the island doing after that just horrific fire that went through there about a year ago?

Molly Patrick: 00:07:42

That, that, it was a year ago August.

Molly Patrick: 00:07:45

Yeah, I mean it's still very much impacted.

Molly Patrick: 00:07:49

I think it'll take like decades actually for, for the recovery.

Molly Patrick: 00:07:54

There's so many people that have just been displaced and Maui already had a really, you know, housing shortage and so it's been, it's been really devastating.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:08:09

Well, I can't, I can't even imagine.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:08:13

Yeah, those photos and videos were just very surrealistic to say the least.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:08:21

All right, well, you're in Maui, I'm in Austin, Texas.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:08:26

you said you started yours in: 2014

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:08:36

And so for, for the PlantStrong audience that doesn't know who Molly Patrick is and what your brand is.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:08:44

What is your brand?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:08:45

What's the name of your brand?

Molly Patrick: 00:08:46

Okay, so Clean Food, Dirty Girl is our, our company, our brand, our business, our community.

Molly Patrick: 00:08:56

, we've been doing this since: 2014

Molly Patrick: 00:09:01

I can't believe it.

Molly Patrick: 00:09:03

And we really, we help people learn how to shop and how to cook healthy whole food, plant based meals.

Molly Patrick: 00:09:11

That's really what it is.

Molly Patrick: 00:09:12

And we provide a really supportive community to do that in.

Molly Patrick: 00:09:16

So that's, in a nutshell, that's what it is.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:09:18

Yeah, yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:09:19

And so it's clean food, which I think everybody kind of gets.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:09:24

What you mean by clean food?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:09:26

Right.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:09:26

But just, just so we're all clear, what do you mean by clean food?

Molly Patrick: 00:09:30

So we mean plant food.

Molly Patrick: 00:09:31

We mean whole plant food.

Molly Patrick: 00:09:33

I mean veggies, fruits, beans and legumes, whole grains, nuts and seeds, lots of herbs and spices.

Molly Patrick: 00:09:40

So that's where we're going for, for whole plants.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:09:44

Right, right.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:09:45

What's your stance on added oils?

Molly Patrick: 00:09:48

So we don't use any oils in our recipes.

Molly Patrick: 00:09:52

We never have.

Molly Patrick: 00:09:54

And I know that it can be kind of a hot topic and a bit of a debate in the plant based world.

Molly Patrick: 00:10:00

You know, when I got into this, I, you know, I was reading, I was reading, I was following like what Dr.

Molly Patrick: 00:10:09

Greger said and I was looking at like what your dad was putting out and even what you were putting out and looking at all of this.

Molly Patrick: 00:10:15

And I thought, you know, I had, I've been vegetarian my whole life.

Molly Patrick: 00:10:18

I have been, I was turned vegan when I, or in 20, like 10.

Molly Patrick: 00:10:24

And I was just curious, I was like, can, can I make food without oil taste good?

Molly Patrick: 00:10:30

It was more of that because I wanted the food and the recipes to be really good.

Molly Patrick: 00:10:34

And so I started experimenting and I was like, wow, I can, like, you don't actually need the oil.

Molly Patrick: 00:10:41

And so it was more of like a test to see what kind of recipes I could come up with without oil.

Molly Patrick: 00:10:47

And then I quickly realized, oh, you, I don't miss it, I don't need it.

Molly Patrick: 00:10:51

And so we just kept going.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:10:53

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:10:53

Well, what I have found to be the case is the more that you kind of develop your palate for food that doesn't, that isn't kind of laced with all these oils and whatnot, after a while you try it and it, for the most part, it just tastes like synthetic goo that's on your food.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:11:15

And it's kind of, you know, it's preventing you from, from having this full whole food experience where you can taste all the little kind of the nuances and, and, and flavors that are in these whole plant based foods.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:11:30

So I applaud you obviously, for, for that.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:11:34

And then what about dirty girl?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:11:37

Because dirty girl is, you know, you got me with a dirty girl.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:11:42

And so.

Molly Patrick: 00:11:42

Okay, so I'm going to tell you all about the dirty girl part, but I want to add, I want to circle back one thing that you were mentioning about the oil.

Molly Patrick: 00:11:48

So one really cool thing about, you know, switching to a whole food plant based diet is I think that a lot of people don't even realize how much flavor and taste whole plant foods have.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:00

Like the saltiness of celery, for example, right.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:04

Or the sweeten a sweet potato.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:06

Maybe people can taste the sweetness of a sweet potato, but there's all of these flavors that when you are inundated with a lot of fat and sugar and oil and salt, you don't taste that stuff, as you know.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:18

And so I just want to tell you this quick story.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:20

I had quit eating oil.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:22

I took oil out of the diet in: 2014

Molly Patrick: 00:12:27

And I always really loved a good baguette and some good quality olive oil.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:33

And you know, I would do that from time to time.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:36

And so I had done quit oil and it had been like a year and a half.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:40

My sister came to visit for Easter and she had bought some olive oil and a baguette.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:46

And I was like, I'm just going to taste that.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:47

I haven't had it in a long time.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:48

And I went to dip the baguette in the olive oil and I had to spit it out.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:55

I was like, whoa, this tastes so wrong in my mouth.

Molly Patrick: 00:12:59

And it was good quality olive oil, right?

Molly Patrick: 00:13:02

But I just couldn't, I just, I lost the taste for it.

Molly Patrick: 00:13:04

And after not having it for that amount of time, it tasted really foreign to me.

Molly Patrick: 00:13:09

And so that was a really, that was an eye opener for me.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:13:11

No, that's a good story.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:13:13

That's a really good story.

Molly Patrick: 00:13:14

Okay, okay.

Molly Patrick: 00:13:15

So dirty girl.

Molly Patrick: 00:13:17

Well, I was talking with Dr.

Molly Patrick: 00:13:22

Barnard a few weeks ago and he asked me that same question.

Molly Patrick: 00:13:25

And I started squirming in my seat because I was like, how am I going to explain to this very nice midwestern man, dirty girl?

Molly Patrick: 00:13:34

If I would have seen myself in that position 10 years ago, maybe I would have picked a different name.

Molly Patrick: 00:13:40

I did, I did get it out.

Molly Patrick: 00:13:42

But no, I, I do like the name and the dirty girl part.

Molly Patrick: 00:13:46

It, it initially came because I used to have a sailor's mouth.

Molly Patrick: 00:13:54

I used to just have a potty mouth.

Molly Patrick: 00:13:56

I would, you know, and when I started the business, I would always write like, I talked.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:02

And I wasn't a writer, right.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:04

I.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:04

That was the skill that I had to develop as I, you know, dove into this online business world.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:11

Um, but in the beginning, I was just like, kind of crude.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:15

I would just, you know, my writing skills weren't that great.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:18

And so I really relied on a lot of like, swearing and like, you know, whatever.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:22

And that's, you know, I was a lot younger.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:23

I was drinking, I was smoking.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:25

And so I was like, that's perfect for me.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:28

And I also like the dirty part because you could take it as like being in the garden and getting dirty.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:34

You could take it in different ways.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:35

And it also, as the brand kind of evolved.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:39

People liked it, it kind of stuck.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:42

And now our community, they call themselves dirties.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:46

And it's a whole big thing.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:47

And I just like, I'll never change it because it's there.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:51

Like, I did that and now it's there.

Molly Patrick: 00:14:53

And it also, I think, fits well because we are big on, you know, imperfection and celebrating imperfection and being open about all of our human messiness that we all have.

Molly Patrick: 00:15:07

And so that dirty part kind of exists with that clean food part in a way that's sort of a contrast that really, you know, fits our brand well and really is our brand.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:18

Well, you just, you just said a mouthful there.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:21

And so I want to come back to the imperfection part because I think that is a, that's something worth talking about, you know, Robert, you know who Robert?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:34

Dr.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:34

Robin.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:35

Robin.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:35

Dr.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:36

Robin Shutkan is.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:37

She's a gastroenterologist.

Molly Patrick: 00:15:39

Yes.

Molly Patrick: 00:15:39

Yes.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:40

Okay.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:41

So her whole motto is to live dirty and eat clean.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:46

But obviously, you know, yours is a much different take than hers is, except for the eat clean.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:52

Your clean food.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:53

She's eat clean.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:15:55

But I want to just let people know because, you know, I wrote down some examples of your, of your dirty girl.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:16:00

Like, and this is kind of very innocent here, but, you know, you say we make eating plant based damn delicious, right?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:16:08

I mean, that's pretty darn simple.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:16:11

And I like that you say it's not complicated to eat healthy when you get hungry, eat plants that haven't been blanked with too much and then repeat.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:16:22

Right?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:16:24

Everybody, I think you can understand what, what I mean there or what, what you meant there.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:16:29

And then this one too.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:16:31

The point of eating healthy and having a healthy lifestyle, it's not so we can live forever.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:16:36

That shit doesn't work.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:16:37

We do it so we can feel as good as we can for as long as we can.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:16:41

So just so the audience can get a little taste of the dirty girl potty mouth.

Molly Patrick: 00:16:47

That's right.

Molly Patrick: 00:16:48

Those are all very good examples.

Molly Patrick: 00:16:50

You know, I think I've always been a fan of just not taking stuff too seriously.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:16:54

Right.

Molly Patrick: 00:16:55

I mean, taking your health seriously and, you know, it's important, but also, like, let's have a little bit of fun with it.

Molly Patrick: 00:17:02

Let's not take it so seriously that we're stressed out and.

Molly Patrick: 00:17:05

And worried about it as well.

Molly Patrick: 00:17:07

Right.

Molly Patrick: 00:17:07

So those are.

Molly Patrick: 00:17:08

Those were great examples, Rip.

Molly Patrick: 00:17:09

Thank you.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:17:10

Oh, yes.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:17:10

You're welcome.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:17:14

I think.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:17:14

I think it's important that we talk about how you grew up.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:17:19

And, you know, when I was on your website and reading about your background, I was like, you got to be kidding me.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:17:26

I didn't know that stuff like this happened where people actually could grow up in a teepee without running water and.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:17:35

Or I should say hot water and plumbing and.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:17:37

But you did that.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:17:38

And so, like, can you let.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:17:40

Let us know how did that happen?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:17:43

And what in the world.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:17:44

What were your parents, you know, thinking, doing to.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:17:49

To do something as wonderful as that?

Molly Patrick: 00:17:53

You could have gone either way with that.

Molly Patrick: 00:17:55

So.

Molly Patrick: 00:17:55

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:17:56

And this wasn't in the: 1800

Molly Patrick: 00:17:57

This was in the: 1980

Molly Patrick: 00:17:59

I have to preface with that.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:01

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:02

So this was in New Mexico.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:04

See, my parents, they.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:05

They grew up in very traditional, you know, white picket fence type of household.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:11

My dad grew up in Wisconsin.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:13

My mom was born in Iowa.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:15

And as they.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:18

When my dad got back from the Vietnam War, and he was like, my grandpa wanted him to take over his.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:25

His business.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:25

It was like a title company business.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:27

My dad's like, I can't.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:28

I need to go to the mountains.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:30

And so he booked it to Colorado.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:32

My mom had three kids, was living that white picket fence, housewife kind of life.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:38

She said, I'm going to die if I keep doing this.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:40

I got to move to the mountains.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:42

And so they both moved to the same mountain town.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:45

Unbeknownst to them, they met each other, they fell in love, and they just became these, like, raging hippies.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:51

And they, you know, they didn't eat meat, and they traveled around the country, they hitchhiked, they did a lot of camping.

Molly Patrick: 00:18:59

They really lived very alternative lifestyles.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:04

My mom, that didn't go over well with either of their families.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:07

So they were kind of the odd.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:09

The.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:09

The black sheep of the family.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:11

But they eventually Settled in New Mexico, they bought a piece of.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:15

Just land out in the middle of nowhere, five acres of land.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:19

And it was their dream to build their own house.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:22

And when I say build their own house, I mean the two of them making their own house and with their hands.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:28

But not only that, they're also making all of the material for their house.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:32

So they.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:33

So they built adobe.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:35

Is adobe homes.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:37

That's a very common material, or it was in New Mexico.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:40

It's using straw and mud, dirt, some rock, and you mix it, and then you make these bricks with it.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:47

And it's a really awesome way to build houses because it's really sustainable.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:51

It stays cool in the summer, warm in the winter.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:54

And so they learned how to do that, and they did that.

Molly Patrick: 00:19:56

So as they were building this house, they pitched a teepee, and my dad and mom built an outside kitchen.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:04

My mom started to grow vegetables, and that's.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:07

We had an outhouse, and that's how we lived.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:20:10

Now, tell me, as they're building the house, are you standing around watching?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:20:15

Are you even born yet?

Molly Patrick: 00:20:17

Yeah, so I'm little, so I'm like, one may even less than that.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:23

They started building when my mom was pregnant.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:25

They had me, so then they just put me to work.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:27

I'd be out there with them, you know, helping them or just, you know, I.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:31

I really grew up outside.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:32

Like, I grew up in nature.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:34

I grew up outside.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:35

We never had a television.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:38

We never.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:39

We.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:39

We got a phone in, like.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:40

I think I was 16 when there was finally a phone line.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:20:44

Incredible.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:45

And even then, my mom was, like, so hesitant to do it, but she decided it was time.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:50

So.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:50

So yeah, we had an outhouse growing up.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:53

No indoor plumbing, no hot water for a long time.

Molly Patrick: 00:20:56

So it was very, very different for that era.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:21:01

Well, so was it.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:21:02

Was it.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:21:03

So you say it was like a teepee, but is it like a yurt where it was just.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:21:06

No, no, no.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:07

It was like a teepee.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:08

It was like, imagine.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:09

I mean, so my mom and dad were friends with some Native American people, and they had an extra tipi, and they.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:15

They bought it from them.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:17

They.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:17

Their friends showed them how to make it.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:19

So it was just.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:20

I mean, it was a.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:21

It was a.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:22

It wasn't a yurt because it had a very narrow top.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:27

Right.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:28

They could put.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:29

They could build a fire in the middle.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:31

And it was pretty.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:32

I mean, it was pretty wide.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:34

There was enough for, like.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:36

I guess there was like four beds in there.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:21:39

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:39

You know, my dad made some platforms and then got.

Molly Patrick: 00:21:42

I don't I don't remember some mattresses somewhere, but that's, I mean that's really where we lived until the, until the first structure was ready to move in.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:21:50

Wow.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:21:51

I mean to me, you know, just with all the amenities and everything that everybody has these days.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:21:59

That sounds dreamy.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:22:02

I don't know, did you feel like, oh my God, mom and dad, this is just so embarrassing, or did you just, did you want for anything else or were you, did you feel okay with it?

Molly Patrick: 00:22:13

Yeah, I mean it was a great way to grow up.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:17

I didn't know any different.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:18

Right.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:19

That's what I knew.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:20

And I knew that I loved outside.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:22

I didn't know what screens were.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:24

I didn't.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:25

Right.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:25

I had my imagination.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:28

And my neighbor, who is actually my very best friend and still is her parents, while they were building their house, they bought us old school bus and made their house in a school bus.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:38

So that was pretty normal to me.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:40

Right.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:40

Well, we were like, that was my only reference at that point.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:43

But as I started to get older and go to sleepovers and have friends that did live in houses with toilets, I was like, oh, this isn't, this isn't normal.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:52

Like other people don't have to walk in the freezing cold to go to the bathroom in the winter.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:57

Like, wow, that would be really cool.

Molly Patrick: 00:22:59

So there was some, I don't think I was ever like resentful about it.

Molly Patrick: 00:23:05

I think that I, I always appreciated the tenacity that it gave me and the, you know, I'm, I'm somebody who's pretty low maintenance and I can feel comfortable in almost any, any place and any, any home I've ever lived in.

Molly Patrick: 00:23:23

Since then it's been like, wow, there's heat, there's ac, that's incredible.

Molly Patrick: 00:23:28

There's like, you know, it's hot shower, it's amazing.

Molly Patrick: 00:23:30

So I think it gave me a lot of qualities that, that I like in me.

Molly Patrick: 00:23:35

And so yeah, it was just sort of, that's how it was.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:23:41

Are your parents still alive?

Molly Patrick: 00:23:43

They are actually.

Molly Patrick: 00:23:44

My mom just turned 81 this year.

Molly Patrick: 00:23:47

food plant based vegan since: 1997

Molly Patrick: 00:23:52

She's never had any health issues.

Molly Patrick: 00:23:54

She has more energy than most 30 year olds.

Molly Patrick: 00:23:56

She lives here on Maui.

Molly Patrick: 00:23:58

She's doing great.

Molly Patrick: 00:23:59

She looks awesome.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:01

My dad is still alive.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:02

He is, I think he turned 75 this year.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:06

He also eats plant based because he eats whatever my mom cooks and he goes snorkeling every day.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:12

He's had a few health things, but he's living his best life.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:15

So, yeah, they're doing great.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:24:17

So when did they sell the.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:24:18

The five acres with the teepee?

Molly Patrick: 00:24:20

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:21

Yep.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:21

They sold in: 2021

Molly Patrick: 00:24:27

So that was a really.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:29

That was a hard decision for them.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:31

But one thing that, you know, it was the kind of house where it was like, they had a.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:38

To get heat in the winter, right?

Molly Patrick: 00:24:41

They had to build a fire, and so that required going to get firewood, and that required, you know, getting a permit and going to the forest and, you know, getting their own fuel for that fire.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:51

And they also built their houses.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:53

Like, it wasn't just one house.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:55

It was different structures along the land because my mom wanted privacy.

Molly Patrick: 00:24:59

She wanted, like, the kitchen to be the kitchen, her and my dad's structure to be there.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:04

She.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:04

They built a separate structure for the kids.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:07

And so there was a lot of, you know, like, being outside and walking and the other thing, and not that that's a bad thing, but as you get older, right, you're like, okay, well, what happens if I slip or I fall?

Molly Patrick: 00:25:20

And the town that I was raised in was very, very small.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:25

They had really limited medical facilities.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:29

And as they, you know, were getting older, I was like, you know, it would be.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:33

It would be great to be around them more.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:36

So I was like, hey, what do you think about moving to Maui?

Molly Patrick: 00:25:39

And my dad was like, yep, I'm there.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:40

My mom was like, okay, I'll get used to it.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:44

And so.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:45

And so they did that and then decided to sell the house because they weren't going to live there anymore.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:49

And.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:50

And that was.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:51

That was a strange thing, but they.

Molly Patrick: 00:25:52

They knew it was time, so.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:25:54

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:25:54

Well, how nice to have your parents there nearby.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:25:58

How wonderful.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:00

They're lovely people.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:01

They've always been really supportive of me, and they, you know, my mom taught me from a young age how to cook healthy food, and I've never eaten meat in my life.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:08

And I've, you know, I mean, she really gave me a gift with.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:11

With that, so I'll always be really, really thankful.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:14

And it served her well.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:15

It served me well.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:16

And she's, you know, going strong in 81, so.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:26:19

So never having eaten meat at any point, obviously now you love it, but at any point, were you feeling like you were missing out, not eating meat, or you were like, no, this is a good thing?

Molly Patrick: 00:26:32

Never.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:33

Yeah, it always felt.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:36

I always thought when I would leave.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:37

When I would leave home, I didn't care so much about the meat, but I wanted some bread, breakfast cereal that wasn't rice with Raisins and cinnamon and rice milk.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:51

Right.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:51

I was like, I want Chex.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:52

I want Rice Krispies.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:53

Like that.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:54

Like the meat.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:54

I don't care about the meat, but I want some, like, processed stuff.

Molly Patrick: 00:26:57

So when I did finally move out of the house, I did.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:00

I went to the store and I bought cereal, and I never drank milk.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:03

Cause I couldn't really.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:04

Yeah, it didn't sit well with me.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:06

But, you know, I started to eat it, and I was like, I don't.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:08

This doesn't really feel so good.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:10

So then I quickly realized that, okay, my mom was onto something.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:13

But I've always felt that for me, putting me in my mouth, it just has never.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:20

I mean, I've never done it, but to me, it's, like, as foreign as if somebody said, here.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:24

Here's a rock you can eat.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:26

And not in, like, a judgmental way, I think.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:29

You know, I don't believe in being the food police, and everybody is where they're at, but for me, it's just always.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:35

I've always had this feeling that it just wasn't something that my body wanted or I don't.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:41

I don't even know why I would do it.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:43

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:43

So I never tried it.

Molly Patrick: 00:27:44

I never missed it.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:27:45

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:27:46

I've got three kids, and they've never had a piece of meat in their mouth either.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:27:49

And.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:27:51

And they don't have any kind of curiosity to.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:27:56

To go there either.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:27:58

So.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:27:58

So I can.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:27:59

I can relate to that through.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:28:01

Through them.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:28:02

I have, on the other hand, eaten a lot of meat up until the age of 23 and a half, when I went on my little voyage.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:28:11

Tell me, Molly.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:28:15

So you mentioned that, you know, you moved out.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:28:18

How old were you when you moved out of the teepee and went out on your own or maybe went to college or did you.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:28:25

Did you have a traditional.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:28:26

Did you go to a traditional school or were you homeschooled in the teepee?

Molly Patrick: 00:28:30

No, I did go to a traditional school.

Molly Patrick: 00:28:33

I went to a small.

Molly Patrick: 00:28:34

A small school because, again, we lived in this very small town, so it was small.

Molly Patrick: 00:28:37

But, yes, I did go to school.

Molly Patrick: 00:28:38

I wasn't.

Molly Patrick: 00:28:39

I was.

Molly Patrick: 00:28:39

I think I was homeschooled for a year.

Molly Patrick: 00:28:40

My mom homeschooled me, homeschooled me for a year.

Molly Patrick: 00:28:44

And then I branched out, but I left home.

Molly Patrick: 00:28:47

I actually graduated high school when I was 17, and I moved to Austin just for a little while to see if that was someplace that I wanted to be.

Molly Patrick: 00:28:57

And I had a great time, but then eventually moved back to New Mexico to go to School there because I had good in state tuition.

Molly Patrick: 00:29:04

And then I moved to Colorado to go to a more specific art school program.

Molly Patrick: 00:29:10

So that's.

Molly Patrick: 00:29:11

I.

Molly Patrick: 00:29:12

So I guess 17 is when I left.

Molly Patrick: 00:29:13

And.

Molly Patrick: 00:29:14

And when I was 17, my parents put in a flushing toilet.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:29:19

Oh, how about that?

Molly Patrick: 00:29:22

How about that?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:29:23

Now, now that wasn't.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:29:25

Was that inside the teepee or was that outside?

Molly Patrick: 00:29:28

No, that was.

Molly Patrick: 00:29:29

That was in one of the buildings that they had built from this.

Molly Patrick: 00:29:32

This adobe structure.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:29:34

Yeah, got it, got it.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:29:36

Tell me, because this is something that I think I'd love to talk about, and I think it's something that can be very helpful for a lot of our listeners, because at some point you started to become a kind of major league boozer and drinker.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:29:51

I think you refer to yourself, you were smoking like a chimney and drinking like a fish.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:29:58

And so I'm wondering, when did that start?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:30:02

Why.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:30:03

Why do you think that that started?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:30:06

And then I'd love to talk about this cycle of self sabotage and then how in the world you were able to pull yourself out and.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:30:15

And kind of like.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:30:16

And cut it off.

Molly Patrick: 00:30:17

Yeah, yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:30:20

Okay.

Molly Patrick: 00:30:20

So I'm gonna try to make this as brief as possible, but, you know, I think I.

Molly Patrick: 00:30:25

I started drinking when I was a teenager.

Molly Patrick: 00:30:28

Normal kind of weekend parties.

Molly Patrick: 00:30:31

And I had always been sort of like a really, really, really shy kid and like a really sensitive kid.

Molly Patrick: 00:30:40

And as I got older, that didn't really go away.

Molly Patrick: 00:30:44

And so I was not popular in school.

Molly Patrick: 00:30:47

And the first time I had a drink, I was at a New Year's party, and I was 14.

Molly Patrick: 00:30:54

And I remember thinking, I'm not shy anymore.

Molly Patrick: 00:30:59

Like, I can talk to people.

Molly Patrick: 00:31:00

And I don't feel that awkwardness and I don't feel that nervousness.

Molly Patrick: 00:31:04

And that is something that my brain just went, oh, that must be a good thing then.

Molly Patrick: 00:31:09

So I drink, you know, during high school on the weekends and stuff.

Molly Patrick: 00:31:14

And then I would say when I got to be like, 18, I was drinking more and more.

Molly Patrick: 00:31:20

And really all through my 20s, and it really, like, it progressed, I think.

Molly Patrick: 00:31:26

And, you know, it started out as I was.

Molly Patrick: 00:31:30

I was using, then I was kind of abusing, and then I was really addicted to it.

Molly Patrick: 00:31:35

I was also smoking, you know, cigarettes.

Molly Patrick: 00:31:38

I mean, I started smoking when I was like, 16.

Molly Patrick: 00:31:42

So I.

Molly Patrick: 00:31:44

Although I, you know, it's interesting because I've had this life that on the one hand, it's very, you know, wholesome and whole and very healthy.

Molly Patrick: 00:31:51

And then on the other hand, I had this really dark darkness to it as well, with the drinking and the smoking and just some not great choices.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:01

And why did I start?

Molly Patrick: 00:32:02

I mean, that's really why I started, because it made me feel damn good and it made me feel like I'm no longer shy.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:09

I can talk to people.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:10

I can get out of my shell a little bit.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:12

And I liked that.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:32:14

What about the smoking?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:32:15

Because I.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:32:16

The smoking, did that go along with just the drinking?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:32:19

Because the two go kind of hand in hand A little bit.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:21

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:22

Yep.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:23

And I would also, like.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:24

I just loved it.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:25

I loved lighting a cigarette.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:26

I loved, you know, as I was in my twenties, I loved having a cup of coffee in the morning and smoking a cigarette.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:31

I loved having a cigarette after I ate.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:33

You know, I loved smoking.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:35

Yeah, there was no point of drinking without smoking.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:37

There's, you know, I mean, it just.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:39

It was just part of my life.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:42

I.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:44

Yeah, I was not a wholesome, whole, like.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:47

Well, I was a whole person that never changed.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:48

But I wasn't, you know, I was living a very unhealthy life for many years.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:54

And it got to the point where, like, I.

Molly Patrick: 00:32:59

I tried to moderate.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:01

I did.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:01

I tried so many times.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:02

And I just.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:03

I had the hardest time with it.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:05

And it got to the point where I couldn't turn off that switch, which if I started drinking, it was like, that was it.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:11

There is no turn off for me.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:13

Right.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:13

Until I pass out, I just.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:16

I'm not going to have a glass of wine.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:18

I'm not going to have a beer, because what's the point?

Molly Patrick: 00:33:21

And so moderating.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:33:23

So.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:33:24

So give me an idea, though.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:33:26

Like, how many.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:33:28

So you would drink and you would drink until you pass out.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:33:34

I mean, really.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:37

I mean, I could drink two bottles of wine and a pack of cigarettes in a night, easy, myself.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:33:41

Okay.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:33:41

And then how.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:33:42

How many.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:33:43

How many days a week is that happening?

Molly Patrick: 00:33:46

Oh, well, I mean, from my mid-20s, it was happening pretty much every day.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:52

Like, wow.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:54

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:54

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:55

I mean, I was in it.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:56

I was.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:57

That it really had its claws in me.

Molly Patrick: 00:33:59

And, you know, I would.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:01

I would wake up and I would tell myself, okay, I'm not going to do it today.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:04

And I didn't tell anybody that I was struggling.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:06

I mean, the friends that I had and the people that I was around also did that.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:11

And so that was a normal thing.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:14

But I also noticed that there were some people around me that could leave a little bit of wine in their glass.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:22

And I was like, I could never do that.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:25

I would never do that.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:27

And I noticed these same people were like, yeah, I can have a glass, or I Can hang out with you and not drink sometimes, if that's what we're doing.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:36

And I started to recognize there's something different going on with me than other people who are.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:42

Who are drinking.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:43

And I did not tell anybody that because I recognized that I had a problem.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:48

And I did not want that to get out because I.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:52

It was hard to admit to myself.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:53

But also, if I got that out, then I might have to quit.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:56

And I was terrified of that.

Molly Patrick: 00:34:59

Like, I didn't know who I was without drinking.

Molly Patrick: 00:35:01

I didn't know how to.

Molly Patrick: 00:35:04

I didn't know who I was in the world.

Molly Patrick: 00:35:06

And so that thought was so scary to me that I, you know, I just lived with it for many, many years.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:35:12

So are you also holding a job while you're.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:35:15

You're.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:35:16

You're partaking in all this?

Molly Patrick: 00:35:19

Always very functional and actually really overcompensating.

Molly Patrick: 00:35:23

I would go to the gym, I would go on morning walks.

Molly Patrick: 00:35:26

I would, you know, put everything into my work.

Molly Patrick: 00:35:29

Like I was really.

Molly Patrick: 00:35:30

Because there was so much shame wrapped up in.

Molly Patrick: 00:35:33

In my drinking that I wanted to, like, prove to myself, prove to the world that I was a good person, that I had worth, that I had value.

Molly Patrick: 00:35:42

And so I would go just as extreme with everything else in my life.

Molly Patrick: 00:35:47

So, yeah, very highly functioning.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:35:50

Okay.

Molly Patrick: 00:35:50

And exhausted.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:35:52

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:35:53

I just can't imagine.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:35:54

Okay, so I'm sorry, I interrupted you.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:35:55

You were saying.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:35:56

So now you're 35 years old and something happened.

Molly Patrick: 00:35:59

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:35:59

So I was 35 and I was just so tired and, like, physically tired?

Molly Patrick: 00:36:07

Yes.

Molly Patrick: 00:36:08

Emotionally tired.

Molly Patrick: 00:36:10

Yes.

Molly Patrick: 00:36:10

But I got to the point where I felt, this is gonna sound strange, maybe some of your audience can relate to it, but I felt like, like thin.

Molly Patrick: 00:36:19

I felt like a thin version of myself.

Molly Patrick: 00:36:21

And not like thin as in skinny, but just I was really fragile.

Molly Patrick: 00:36:29

And I knew that even just day to day, I had a hard time.

Molly Patrick: 00:36:34

And I knew that if something challenging happens, which I knew it would, because this is life and things always, you know, challenging situation, stuff happens all the time.

Molly Patrick: 00:36:45

I was like, I don't know if I could handle it.

Molly Patrick: 00:36:48

I don't feel like I'm equipped with the strength, with the tenacity, with the bounce back because I'm so consumed by this thing, and it's making me physically and emotionally and spiritually just completely drained.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:01

And so I don't have the capacity to be there for somebody else if somebody else were to need me.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:06

I don't have the capacity to go through grief and be okay.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:10

I knew that.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:12

I knew that if I didn't make a change.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:14

I just wasn't going to be okay.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:16

And that was.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:17

And nothing happened.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:18

Like, there wasn't one thing that kind of woke me up.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:22

I never had a dui.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:23

I never had any major health issues.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:27

I mean, I'm sure that there was a lot going on that would have eventually led to obvious health issues, but there wasn't, like, this one thing.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:34

It was just, I woke up and I was like, I can't keep going like this.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:38

And if I do keep going like this, I can never complain about the effects of this.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:43

I mean, I can't complain about hangovers.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:45

I can't complain about my business not growing.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:48

I can't complain about strained relationships.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:51

Like, I have to take all of that and just love it, because that is my choice if I keep going and can I love that life?

Molly Patrick: 00:37:57

And I didn't want to love that life.

Molly Patrick: 00:37:59

And so I decided to make the very brave choice of changing my life.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:38:04

Right.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:38:05

Right.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:38:05

What.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:38:06

What was your alcohol of choice?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:38:10

And what were your cigarettes of choice?

Molly Patrick: 00:38:12

Okay, so American Spirit yellow pack.

Molly Patrick: 00:38:16

I started on Camel lights, but eventually American Spirit yellow.

Molly Patrick: 00:38:20

That was my favorite.

Molly Patrick: 00:38:21

And then I loved red wine.

Molly Patrick: 00:38:25

I liked white wine, too, but red wine was my favorite thing.

Molly Patrick: 00:38:28

I.

Molly Patrick: 00:38:29

I wasn't really much of a beer drinker, and I tried to stay away from hard alcohol because I knew with the amount that I was drinking, I was like, you know, I mean, not that wine is too much better, but I was like, I feel like I was going to decline faster if I started doing really hard alcohol often.

Molly Patrick: 00:38:48

So red wine was my.

Molly Patrick: 00:38:50

Was my thing.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:38:51

Right.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:38:53

All right, so you just said you made the brave and the brave decision.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:38:59

Why do you use the word brave?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:39:00

Because I just want to hear from you.

Molly Patrick: 00:39:07

Because it's the scariest thing I ever did.

Molly Patrick: 00:39:10

And it was something that I.

Molly Patrick: 00:39:13

As I was making that choice, I couldn't imagine making that choice, but I was, like, watching myself make that choice.

Molly Patrick: 00:39:20

And I had to conjure up all of the courage that I have and all of the bravery that I had because I knew I was doing something that was going to be incredibly challenging for me and incredibly hard.

Molly Patrick: 00:39:33

So I needed that bravery.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:39:35

Did you.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:39:36

And did you.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:39:37

Did you seek help?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:39:38

Did you go to, like, AA or anything like that?

Molly Patrick: 00:39:42

No, I didn't.

Molly Patrick: 00:39:43

I.

Molly Patrick: 00:39:45

Being the introvert that I am, and I'm a cancer sign, and so cancers, we tend to, like, really go inside.

Molly Patrick: 00:39:53

Um, and, like, I knew what I had to do.

Molly Patrick: 00:39:56

There was this.

Molly Patrick: 00:39:57

There was this intuitive thing that I had.

Molly Patrick: 00:40:00

There was a message that I Had.

Molly Patrick: 00:40:01

And I knew what I had to do.

Molly Patrick: 00:40:03

And what I had to do was get very comfortable with being uncomfortable, and I had to open up to feeling like crap.

Molly Patrick: 00:40:13

And I had to really, really want something and have the discipline to not have it and have that be okay and have it be okay that I wanted something so badly and feeling so miserable and not knowing how to have a conversation with an adult without drinking, not knowing what I actually like, because my whole identity was.

Molly Patrick: 00:40:38

Was in drinking.

Molly Patrick: 00:40:40

I had to be okay with just being really, really uncomfortable.

Molly Patrick: 00:40:43

So I knew that that was the thing.

Molly Patrick: 00:40:46

And I thought, if I can just do that, then I'm going to get through this.

Molly Patrick: 00:40:49

And I also knew it had to kind of be a solo thing because I got myself into this.

Molly Patrick: 00:40:55

There was some trauma in my past that certainly didn't help the situation.

Molly Patrick: 00:40:59

I knew that that was going to have to come up.

Molly Patrick: 00:41:01

I knew I was going to have to feel those things.

Molly Patrick: 00:41:03

And I didn't.

Molly Patrick: 00:41:04

I didn't really want to.

Molly Patrick: 00:41:06

I knew that I didn't want to stop drinking and then start another thing to replace it.

Molly Patrick: 00:41:14

Like, I didn't want to, like, swap.

Molly Patrick: 00:41:17

Right?

Molly Patrick: 00:41:18

And so I knew that, okay, this.

Molly Patrick: 00:41:19

I have to get to the bottom of this, and I have to, like, I can't.

Molly Patrick: 00:41:22

I can't just, like, stop drinking.

Molly Patrick: 00:41:24

I have to do the work that goes along with that and dig really deep and heal some things and really get to know myself again.

Molly Patrick: 00:41:31

And I.

Molly Patrick: 00:41:32

And I didn't feel comfortable doing that around anybody else.

Molly Patrick: 00:41:36

And actually, I didn't even really tell anybody what I was doing.

Molly Patrick: 00:41:40

I didn't really talk about it until one year of being sober.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:41:45

Are you So, I mean, the thing that strikes me first is because you say that you told yourself just about every morning that, okay, that's the last time.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:41:55

I'm not going to do that again.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:41:56

And then you do it again.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:41:57

it about that one morning in: 2000

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:42:06

I mean, did you actually journal or.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:42:09

What was it that allowed you to put that stake in the ground and then finally decide, okay, this time I'm going to do it?

Molly Patrick: 00:42:17

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:17

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:18

It was just.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:19

It was annoying.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:20

I knew, like, I had mentioned.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:22

I knew that, okay, if I keep going, I can't complain anymore.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:42:27

Right?

Molly Patrick: 00:42:27

That was a really big thing for me.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:29

That was a very big aha moment for me.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:32

And so I was like.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:34

And I also told myself, molly, you can keep doing this.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:37

It's not that you can't Right.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:40

You can.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:41

And.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:42

And you're going to be a good person even if you do keep doing this.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:46

But do you want the life that comes with this?

Molly Patrick: 00:42:50

And so I think I gave my.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:51

I went into it giving myself a lot of love and giving myself a lot of grace, really.

Molly Patrick: 00:42:58

And so I.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:01

There was a little thing that I came up with.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:04

I did journal.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:05

Yes, I did a lot of journaling.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:07

I.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:09

I created a program for my community that would eventually be a program.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:14

I.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:14

I was writing out what I was doing and how I was doing this.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:19

I did a juice fast because I knew that, okay, I can have.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:24

Like, I don't want any choices.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:26

If I'm just doing a juice fast, then I know that I can do that, and that's what I'm doing.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:30

Right?

Molly Patrick: 00:43:30

I don't have to think about eating.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:32

I don't have to think about drinking.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:33

Like, I'm just doing the juice fast.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:35

So I did that.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:36

That helped me.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:39

Unfortunately, the day after my fast, or the day that I finished my fast, there was a half a bottle of white wine in the fridge, and I went for it.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:51

I was like, oh, I better just finish this up.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:53

There was a pack of cigarettes.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:54

Always kept them in the freezer.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:56

Like, may as well just finish this stuff.

Molly Patrick: 00:43:58

I had a big glass of wine.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:00

I had two cigarettes, and I proceeded to get really sick, Just vomiting.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:07

Just.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:07

My body was like.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:08

I just came off this juice fast.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:09

My body was like, what are you doing?

Molly Patrick: 00:44:11

And I was.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:12

I was never anybody that got sick.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:13

I mean, my tolerance was so high, right?

Molly Patrick: 00:44:15

I never got sick.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:18

But at that point, it was like, I had done this juice cleanse, and I just got so sick.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:23

I was like, on all fours, and I was like, okay, this is it.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:26

This is it.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:27

It was this huge purge.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:28

I had to sleep on the floor.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:29

It was just.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:30

It was a mess.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:31

I was a mess.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:32

And that morning I woke up, I was like, it's done.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:36

Like, that's done.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:38

And I just knew.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:39

It was like a light that just went off and then.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:42

Or went on.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:43

And then I had this chair, and I was living in a very small house, and I had this wonderful chair.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:52

And I was like, that is going to be where I go when I start to get uncomfortable.

Molly Patrick: 00:44:58

I'm going to sit in that chair.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:00

And I called it my embrace the suck chair.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:02

So when I started doing good.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:45:06

Embrace the suck.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:45:08

I love that.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:45:09

Oh, my God, Molly.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:11

You are going to embrace the suck.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:12

And that is your job right now.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:14

That is your number one job to be in this world right now you have got to embrace the suck.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:19

And every time you have a craving, every time you're pissed off, every time that you're physically, you know, just think that you can't handle it without a cigarette or without a drink, you go in that chair and you embrace the suck.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:31

And you don't turn on the phone, you don't turn on the tv.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:34

You sit there and you feel it, and whatever comes up, it's okay.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:38

And so I would go in that embrace the suck chair.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:42

I would sit there, and sometimes I would cry.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:44

Sometimes I would just get pissed off.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:46

Sometimes I would be fidgety.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:48

Sometimes I would just collapse.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:50

It was a really beautiful, big chair.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:53

And so that was my tool.

Molly Patrick: 00:45:55

That is how I got through the first couple of months.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:46:00

Okay, and so in: 2014

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:46:04

I'm sorry?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:46:06

Clean food.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:46:06

Dirty girl.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:46:09

And so.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:46:10

So it was about a year in or so that you kind of got super.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:46:13

And you got clean yourself.

Molly Patrick: 00:46:15

Yeah, yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:46:17

Right.

Molly Patrick: 00:46:17

Because there's.

Molly Patrick: 00:46:18

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:46:18

w, I started this business in: 2014

Molly Patrick: 00:46:24

I love helping people eat more plants, and I always have.

Molly Patrick: 00:46:28

Right.

Molly Patrick: 00:46:28

And I've had a career in that even before I started this.

Molly Patrick: 00:46:31

And so on the one hand, it was like, you know, from the outside looking in, people might think, whoa, you, you know, you're going through all of this.

Molly Patrick: 00:46:39

But I was always really transparent with my audience, and I.

Molly Patrick: 00:46:45

So.

Molly Patrick: 00:46:46

But I didn't tell the community.

Molly Patrick: 00:46:47

't bring any of this up until: 2016

Molly Patrick: 00:46:53

So I was still, you know, getting this business off the ground and pouring, you know, a lot of sweat equity into it as I am, you know, that.

Molly Patrick: 00:47:04

2014, okay, ready to quit.

Molly Patrick: 00:47:07

2015, quit.

Molly Patrick: 00:47:08

2016, I started talking about it openly.

Molly Patrick: 00:47:11

I wrote a blog post.

Molly Patrick: 00:47:12

I was very, you know, I shared a lot of, like, intimate details about that.

Molly Patrick: 00:47:16

But, yeah, that's all happening kind of along with this.

Molly Patrick: 00:47:19

With this sober journey of mine.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:22

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:22

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:26

What.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:26

What can you say about the.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:29

The shame spiral that.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:34

That occurs?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:35

Because I, you know, obviously, I.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:36

I don't think this is unique to you.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:39

I think that.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:39

That most human beings have the.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:42

The shame spiral.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:44

And what.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:45

What can.

Molly Patrick: 00:47:46

What.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:46

What advice would you.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:48

Or what suggestions would you give to people that are.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:52

That are doing that and to try and temper.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:47:58

Temper the shame or.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:48:00

Or remove the shame?

Molly Patrick: 00:48:01

Yeah, that's.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:02

It's a big question because it is.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:05

It can be very invasive, I think.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:10

You know, here's one thing that I've learned.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:12

I.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:13

I'm not a better person now than I was then.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:17

I don't.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:19

I'm not more worthy now than I was then.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:23

I don't deserve to be loved more now than I was then.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:29

So it's not about that.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:31

So anybody who's struggling, you're not a bad person.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:36

You're not unworthy of love.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:38

You're not unworthy of health and happiness.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:41

You just have to find it.

Molly Patrick: 00:48:42

And so I think that although it can be challenging, recognizing that and loving yourself and allowing yourself to be loved can do a lot for stopping shame in its tracks.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:49:00

What.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:49:04

What was the.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:49:06

I'm just wondering if there was a.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:49:07

Obviously there was a turning point when you decided, okay, I'm going to stop the.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:49:11

The boozing and the smoking, but was there a turning point when you're like, wow, you know what?

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:49:19

I love Molly.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:49:20

I really like.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:49:21

I really like Molly.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:23

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:24

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:25

So it.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:26

You know, that first year, I wasn't even sure who Molly was.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:30

I was like, do I like this?

Molly Patrick: 00:49:31

Can I be social?

Molly Patrick: 00:49:33

You know, am I an introvert?

Molly Patrick: 00:49:35

Like, I always thought I was a super big introvert.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:37

Turns out I am a little bit, but not as much as I thought.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:40

I had to get to know myself, so I wasn't sure.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:43

And I.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:44

And I.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:44

And at that point, I didn't even care.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:45

I was like, I'm just going to get through the whole drinking thing for no drinking thing for a year and no smoking thing for a year.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:52

Then I'm going to see where we land.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:54

There was this.

Molly Patrick: 00:49:55

It was about a year after I quit, I went to get a massage, and I was laying on the massage table, and there's something about good bodywork and.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:06

And releasing fascia and muscles.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:09

Like, there's some.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:10

There's some very therapeutic benefits to that in many ways.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:12

And it was just one of these moments where as she was massaging my.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:16

I was laying on my tummy and she's massaging my back.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:18

I just had this overwhelming sense of, like, forgiveness and love, and I just started crying.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:27

And I'm not a super big crier.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:28

I'm not, like, emotional or dramatic usually.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:31

And I just started crying, and it was like I felt so much tenderness for myself and so much love for myself and.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:43

And forgiveness.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:44

Like, okay, it's okay.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:45

You.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:46

You're here now, you know, because I.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:49

You know, part of me is like, gosh, how much of my life did I waste?

Molly Patrick: 00:50:51

What opportunities did I pass up?

Molly Patrick: 00:50:54

What.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:54

You know, and it's easy to go there, but in that moment.

Molly Patrick: 00:50:57

It was like, no, it happened just like it was supposed to, and you're okay, and you're loved, and I love you.

Molly Patrick: 00:51:03

And so that was a big moment of, like, okay.

Molly Patrick: 00:51:06

That was my sort of really start to loving myself.

Molly Patrick: 00:51:10

And I think that I did love myself, though, because I think that if I didn't, I wouldn't have made that decision to quit.

Molly Patrick: 00:51:17

So the love was there.

Molly Patrick: 00:51:18

It just had to be fostered.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:51:20

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:51:20

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:51:21

Well, way to be.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:51:22

Way to.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:51:23

Way to love yourself.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:51:27

You know, this.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:51:28

This isn't entirely the same thing, but you talk about the crying just brings us up.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:51:34

We recently did a retreat in Sedona, Arizona, and there's this vortex that's on top of these 120 steps.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:51:42

And we tell everybody if you can go there at some point in time.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:51:47

And I went there my last.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:51:49

The last day that I was there, and I was just there just to take to this amazing view.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:51:55

And I was taking it all in.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:51:56

There was a woman that was on top of the rocks, and she was wailing, like, crying so uncontrollably.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:03

It was just.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:05

It was like this really cleansing, incredible cry.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:08

And then we met at the bottom, and I just kind of put my arm around her and didn't say anything.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:15

And then all she said to me was, I'm just so grateful.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:21

So, I mean.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:22

And I.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:22

I.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:23

I didn't.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:23

I had.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:24

I felt so.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:25

I was so grateful that it was because she was grateful as.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:28

Opp.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:28

Know, maybe pain or something like that.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:30

But, yeah, it is.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:33

It's wild how different emotions lead to that.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:40

That.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:40

That crying.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:41

That's so beautiful.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:43

All right, so, you know, one of the things in reading about you, Molly, that I loved is that at some point you talked about how you knew there.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:52:53

There was another life out there for you where you could live out the, like, the.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:53:01

A life that was beyond your.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:53:03

Your dreams.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:53:04

And.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:53:04

And it sounds to me like you have.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:53:08

You know, you're.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:53:09

You're.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:53:09

You're.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:53:09

You're doing it.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:53:10

You're on Maui.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:53:11

You've got this incredible brand.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:53:15

Would you say that it's.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:53:16

It's fair to say that you're, like, in a great place?

Molly Patrick: 00:53:19

Yeah, I mean, I am in a great place, and it's.

Molly Patrick: 00:53:22

But.

Molly Patrick: 00:53:23

But here's what I'll say.

Molly Patrick: 00:53:24

Like, what I'm able to do now is be really much stronger.

Molly Patrick: 00:53:34

And so I think that I am living this life that I'm like, oh, yeah.

Molly Patrick: 00:53:37

I would have never, like, even thought that this was possible right at one point in my life.

Molly Patrick: 00:53:42

But the best Part about where I'm at right now is that life like, and you know it, right.

Molly Patrick: 00:53:51

Stuff happens that's so hard and so heartbreaking.

Molly Patrick: 00:53:55

And I can get through that now and I can stay intact.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:02

I can keep eating healthy plant based food.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:04

I can keep moving my body.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:05

I can keep getting good sleep.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:08

I can keep helping, you know, keep helping people eat more plants.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:11

I can help.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:12

I can keep being, you know, leading my team.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:16

I can keep doing that even when stuff kind of falls apart.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:21

And I've had, you know, I had, I'm coming off from like last year was probably one of the hardest years of my life.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:27

I got a divorce, I sold my home, my sister died.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:33

And there were.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:36

It was just an unimaginable year for me and I made it like, I'm here, I'm okay.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:43

And I didn't drink and I didn't eat crappy food and I didn't turn to, you know, substances to dole out.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:49

I was able to embrace the suck and I was able to, to, to feel it.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:54

Right.

Molly Patrick: 00:54:54

And so yes, living the dream, but also knowing that that dream is going to have a few nightmares along the way and, and being able to cope with that and be okay with that.

Molly Patrick: 00:55:03

So that's what I'm, you know, the thing that I think about the most.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:55:08

Do you still have an Embrace the suck chair?

Molly Patrick: 00:55:11

Yeah, no, I don't need the chair anymore.

Molly Patrick: 00:55:13

I've weaned myself off the chair.

Molly Patrick: 00:55:15

But I can have the Embrace the suck moments wherever I am.

Molly Patrick: 00:55:17

I can be driving, I can be in my kitchen.

Molly Patrick: 00:55:19

If come in, I'm like, yep, there it is.

Molly Patrick: 00:55:21

Let's feel it.

Molly Patrick: 00:55:22

You know, let's not close off to it.

Molly Patrick: 00:55:24

So I've learned to do that any, anywhere.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:55:26

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:55:27

You mentioned your, your sister Kristen I think is her, was her name Kirsty.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:55:35

And I didn't listen to it, but I know you had her on your podcast a month before she, before she died.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:55:43

Any, any big life lessons that you got from your sister and didn't I think I read that she had breast cancer if I'm not mistaken?

Molly Patrick: 00:55:52

she had, she was diagnosed in: 2004

Molly Patrick: 00:56:09

I mean the lessons from her, I, Yeah, you know, that would be a whole other pod, a whole, you know, second podcast.

Molly Patrick: 00:56:17

But I will say, you know, I miss her every day and I was really, really close with her and I love her so much and so I try to, I Try to think about the best parts of her because she was amazing.

Molly Patrick: 00:56:29

But also she could suck sometimes too.

Molly Patrick: 00:56:31

Like, she had her streaks of.

Molly Patrick: 00:56:33

She could be really mean, she could be really jokey.

Molly Patrick: 00:56:35

She, you know, like, like, like we all can.

Molly Patrick: 00:56:37

We're all these imperfect, messy humans, right?

Molly Patrick: 00:56:39

So I, I try to take this stuff from her that I just loved and I adored and I try to practice it.

Molly Patrick: 00:56:47

And so one thing that she was really good at was she listened and she was interested in what people had to say and she really cared.

Molly Patrick: 00:56:58

She really, you know, she wasn't listening just to.

Molly Patrick: 00:57:02

And she wasn't listening while figuring out the next thing to say.

Molly Patrick: 00:57:05

She was just always very present and always very there.

Molly Patrick: 00:57:10

And, and I love that, right?

Molly Patrick: 00:57:12

We can all get so busy and so like, okay, well, let's speed this up or whatever.

Molly Patrick: 00:57:17

But she was just so good at listening.

Molly Patrick: 00:57:18

So I try to be really good at listening, right?

Molly Patrick: 00:57:20

I try to take the little parts from her that I just really admired a lot.

Molly Patrick: 00:57:25

So that's one thing.

Molly Patrick: 00:57:26

But, yeah, that was, yeah, that was, that was a hard one.

Molly Patrick: 00:57:32

And, and I got through it.

Molly Patrick: 00:57:33

And I'm still getting through it to a certain extent.

Molly Patrick: 00:57:35

I don't think I ever will get over it.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:57:37

Did you sleep next to her in the teepee?

Molly Patrick: 00:57:40

Well, she was actually 17 years older than me, so when she was really young.

Molly Patrick: 00:57:46

And then, oh my gosh, my mom had me when she was much older, so she could have actually technically been my mom.

Molly Patrick: 00:57:51

So she was out by the time that the t.

Molly Patrick: 00:57:53

By the time I was born, actually.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:57:55

Got it, got it, got it.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:57:59

You, you've, you've, you've alluded to it a couple times in the, in our conversation, but I'd love for you to expound upon it even more.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:58:10

And that is embrace the imperfection and how we're, we're all imperfect.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:58:16

And I think that, I think we all need to hear that.

Rheb Esselstyn: 00:58:20

So how did you come to this whole, you know, theory about embracing imperfection?

Molly Patrick: 00:58:28

Well, well, I just realized that, like, we have this idea of people and especially on social media, it's so easy to get wrapped up in thinking, oh, well, they have the life, they have the body, they have the diet, they have this, you know, and it's just such nonsense because, you know, we tend to show the best parts of ourselves and we're all a mess.

Molly Patrick: 00:58:50

We all are.

Molly Patrick: 00:58:50

We all have our stuff, we all have our hang ups, we all have our issues, we all get embarrassed.

Molly Patrick: 00:58:57

And really it's about the fact that we're all human and we all come equipped with all of these feelings, right?

Molly Patrick: 00:59:03

Embarrassment and shame and grief and guilt and, you know, not always making the best choices.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:09

And.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:10

And there's nothing to be ashamed of for being human, right?

Molly Patrick: 00:59:14

We're human.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:15

And.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:16

And people get so wrapped up in, oh, I did that wrong.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:19

I should have said this better.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:20

I should have done that better.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:22

And it's like, well, then you wouldn't be human.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:24

Right?

Molly Patrick: 00:59:25

It's.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:25

It was just that.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:26

That was very clear to me, and I don't remember the exact point that I got that, but I, you know, I just realized that everybody around me has their shit, and that must mean that every human has their stuff, right?

Molly Patrick: 00:59:38

Like, nobody.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:39

Nobody gets a pass on that.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:40

No matter how perfect somebody seems, nobody is.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:44

And so let's just embrace it and be okay with it and be open about it.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:47

And I talk about it a lot in the.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:49

In the clean food, dirty girl community, because I think that when you talk about that, people feel less alone.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:55

They don't feel so weird.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:56

They don't feel so isolated.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:57

They're like, oh, like, she can relate.

Molly Patrick: 00:59:59

Or, you know, she has that weird thing she does too, you know?

Molly Patrick: 01:00:03

You know, So I think it's just important to be open about our weird messiness.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:00:07

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:00:08

Well, I think.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:00:10

Thank you for all that.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:00:11

And I think we all.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:00:12

We're all perfectly imperfect.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:00:14

And I think that it's.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:00:14

A lot of times it's the imperfections that.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:00:17

That once you get to know somebody, you're so drawn to about them.

Molly Patrick: 01:00:20

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 01:00:21

I was going to say, like, thank goodness we're also imperfect.

Molly Patrick: 01:00:23

Otherwise it would just be very, very boring.

Molly Patrick: 01:00:26

Right.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:00:26

And.

Molly Patrick: 01:00:26

And for a long time, I mean, and I really.

Molly Patrick: 01:00:30

When I was drinking so much and smoking so much, like, there is just a mask.

Molly Patrick: 01:00:33

There was a facade.

Molly Patrick: 01:00:34

Like, I could say that, you know, I didn't.

Molly Patrick: 01:00:37

Like, I was just so full of baloney.

Molly Patrick: 01:00:40

But then when I started getting in touch with my emotions, then I could really say, like, oh, I.

Molly Patrick: 01:00:47

You know, what is that like, to be authentic?

Molly Patrick: 01:00:49

Well, it means, like, you're okay with being embarrassed some of the time.

Molly Patrick: 01:00:54

It means that you stumble on your words sometimes.

Molly Patrick: 01:00:57

It means that you make embarrassing choices sometimes.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:00

And there's nothing wrong with that.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:01

But I had to come to.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:02

I had to get, like, clean before I could even reach that point, because I think otherwise.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:07

I was just always so defensive.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:09

I was pretending that I was okay with being imperfect, but I, you know, that was a whole nother.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:14

I had a lot of work to do at that point.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:01:17

Yeah, you, for your 44th birthday.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:23

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:01:24

You went to Japan and you say that in Japan eating soy is cool.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:32

Yes.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:01:33

Like, explain that to me.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:35

Yeah, it's just like, you know, it's changed a little bit here in the U.S.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:41

right?

Molly Patrick: 01:01:41

But when I was growing up and not eating meat, like, I was the weird kid.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:46

I was so weird.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:47

There wasn't any kind of, you know, options on the menu for people not eating meat.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:52

But you go to Japan and it's like, everybody eats soy.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:57

Everybody drinks soy milk.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:58

Everybody eats tofu.

Molly Patrick: 01:01:59

It's not this fringy thing.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:01

It's just part of society.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:03

And so it was just so nice being in a culture that that's just sort of an everyday thing and it doesn't have this weird stigma.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:12

And I think here it has less of a stigma than it has had in the past.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:16

But there's still.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:17

But it's still there.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:18

Right.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:18

And so just being in a place that really.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:20

It was just normal.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:22

I was like, oh, it's so refreshing.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:02:24

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:02:25

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:02:26

How long were you in Japan?

Molly Patrick: 01:02:27

I stayed there for.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:29

It was, like, 10 days.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:30

I stayed in Tokyo.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:31

It's like seven and a half hours from Hawaii.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:34

So it wasn't that that far of a journey.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:37

But, yeah, it was a great.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:38

It was a great trip.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:39

Love.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:39

Love Tokyo.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:02:40

Good for you.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:02:41

Wow.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:02:43

I noticed that you have a tattoo or two.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:02:47

Can you share with us your tattoo?

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:02:50

Well, the ones we can see, and if there's something, I'd love to know about them.

Molly Patrick: 01:02:55

So this is just a spiral, and I got it when I was very young, and I just.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:01

I like the.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:02

The.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:02

I just liked it.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:03

I just thought there was something about the spiral that I really liked.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:05

And I was just like, yeah, it was like a Tuesday afternoon.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:08

I was like, yeah, I think I'll go get that tattoo.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:10

And it really is just.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:12

I mean, it doesn't really have much meaning.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:13

I tell people sometimes that it's a mosquito coil, and they're like, oh, cool.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:18

I'm like, yeah, let's just go with that.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:21

I have a few tattoos on my body.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:22

Yes.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:23

And some are in places that can't be seen.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:26

But, yeah, I do.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:27

I do have a few.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:27

I would never get any now because I've turned into such a wussy.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:31

Like, I used to do rock climbing.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:32

I used to get tattoos.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:33

I used to have piercings.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:34

And now I'm like, I could never do all of that.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:37

It would be too scary, and I would, like, hurt myself too much.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:03:40

Right, right.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:03:42

Is Sweet Pea still around at all?

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:03:46

That's your cat.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:47

Yep, she's been around.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:49

Yeah, she's like going on 10 years old now and yeah, everybody like all the dirties know about sweet pea.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:56

Yeah, she's a really, she's a really sweet, sweet.

Molly Patrick: 01:03:58

She is a sweet pea.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:04:00

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:04:00

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:04:01

Well, I know it's super early there.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:04:02

I think we got started at 7:03 Hawaii time.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:04:06

Do you have any plans for breakfast today?

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:04:09

And if so, what do you think you're going to have?

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:04:11

You're not going to have rice with rice milk and raisins, right?

Molly Patrick: 01:04:14

I love rice for cereal now.

Molly Patrick: 01:04:17

No, I will tell you my breakfast though.

Molly Patrick: 01:04:19

So one thing at Clean Food, Dirty girl, right?

Molly Patrick: 01:04:23

We have, we develop recipes and that's what we do.

Molly Patrick: 01:04:26

That's what we develop recipes and meal plans for people to follow along with.

Molly Patrick: 01:04:30

And so I'm always experimenting and that's one of my favorite things to do.

Molly Patrick: 01:04:33

We also have an awesome recipe developer on our team, Tammy.

Molly Patrick: 01:04:38

And so I'm always experimenting with interesting things because I think it's really important when people are switching to this way of eating.

Molly Patrick: 01:04:45

Like the food has to taste good, right, for people to keep doing this.

Molly Patrick: 01:04:49

And so that has to do with flavor.

Molly Patrick: 01:04:51

Yes.

Molly Patrick: 01:04:51

But it also has to do with texture.

Molly Patrick: 01:04:54

I think that that's, that's, you know, if you're not finding your plant based meals really satisfying, put different textures on and it changes them.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:01

Right.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:02

So my breakfast, I've had a lot of like phases, but one thing that I love to do is make a big pot of a mix of like four different grains.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:12

So like millet steel cut oats and black rice.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:16

Forbidden black rice, I love that.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:18

And then lentils.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:19

So I cook that and then I put in a bunch of chopped kale, put that in the fridge and then in the morning I just take a big scoop of that, put it in a bowl, add some, a bunch of fruit and some nuts and some soy milk, maybe like a little bit of maple syrup if I'm feeling it.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:34

And that to me really like is so satisfying.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:38

It keeps me full for a long time.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:40

There's lots of different textures.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:42

It's really nutrient dense.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:43

So that's one of my favorite breakfasts.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:46

And people are like, you're eating lentils in the morning, but it's like a kind of like oatmeal but not, I'm like, you just gotta try it.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:53

And yeah, once people try it, they're like, oh yeah, it is pretty good.

Molly Patrick: 01:05:57

But I also do like, I make a big mix of organic rolled oats and then I put a mix of Blended flax, chia and hemp seeds in there with it.

Molly Patrick: 01:06:08

And then I add some sunflower seeds or pumpkin seeds, maybe some raisins.

Molly Patrick: 01:06:11

And I have this big jar and then I'll put some of that in a bowl the night before and then I'll add to that bowl some amaranth.

Molly Patrick: 01:06:20

So I love amaranth, is one of my favorite grains.

Molly Patrick: 01:06:22

Make a big pot of amaranth and then I put in a little bit of molasses and I'll throw in like a handful of steel cut oats.

Molly Patrick: 01:06:31

And so I'll add some of that mixture, the cooked amaranth to the oats, put some soy milk and then mix it up, put it in the fridge, and then in the morning, take that, put a bunch of berries on top, and then have that.

Molly Patrick: 01:06:43

So I'm all about the kind of weird combinations of food.

Molly Patrick: 01:06:46

So I'm going to have that for breakfast this morning.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:06:48

Well, I saw a term that you use for your food that I've never seen or heard before, and I think it's very appropriate and that is mouthgasms.

Molly Patrick: 01:07:00

Yes.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:07:00

You dirties like to have mouth gasps.

Molly Patrick: 01:07:03

We do, we do.

Molly Patrick: 01:07:04

You know, I'm such a fan of enjoying your food and really finding joy from food and that.

Molly Patrick: 01:07:13

Such a radical concept to a lot of people who come from the standard American diet and also the dieting world, right?

Molly Patrick: 01:07:22

To be able to really enjoy your food and have it really be about eating.

Molly Patrick: 01:07:27

Right?

Molly Patrick: 01:07:27

We don't want to deprive ourselves.

Molly Patrick: 01:07:29

We don't want to.

Molly Patrick: 01:07:29

And some people think, okay, well, you're eating whole food plant based.

Molly Patrick: 01:07:32

There's a lot of categories of foods you're not eating.

Molly Patrick: 01:07:34

I'm like, but that doesn't even matter because there's so many foods that we do eat that you'll never get bored.

Molly Patrick: 01:07:41

And there's no reason somebody can't really, really enjoy their food and really find joy from their food.

Molly Patrick: 01:07:47

So we are all about giving our dirties mouthgasms through our recipes and through our meal plans.

Molly Patrick: 01:07:52

We have a membership, we have this beautiful portal that we have 5,000 recipes and like 450 handmade meal plans.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:02

And we really put an emphasis on, on having the food taste really good.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:07

And, you know, the feedback is, oh, my husband who hates tofu, is able to eat your recipes.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:13

Or, you know, my spouse who is really against whole food plant based eating, doesn't even know that they're eating whole food plant based when I make your recipes.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:21

And they are loving it.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:23

So we really put a lot of attention on that, because, you know, it's one.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:27

One plate at a time is how we're going to.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:30

How we're going to change the world, in my estimation.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:08:33

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:08:33

And then you also have a podcast.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:08:35

When did you launch the podcast?

Molly Patrick: 01:08:38

Oh, good question.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:39

I think it was like, 20.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:41

20, 20, 20, 20 21, something like that.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:47

And I've enjoyed doing it.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:48

A lot of our community had been asking for one, and I was like, I don't know.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:52

Do I have things to like, we'll see.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:54

But I started doing it, and I actually really.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:56

I think it's a really great medium, and I really love it.

Molly Patrick: 01:08:59

I really love your.

Molly Patrick: 01:09:00

Your podcast.

Molly Patrick: 01:09:00

I love the Plantstrong podcast.

Molly Patrick: 01:09:02

And I think, Rip, you ask really good questions.

Molly Patrick: 01:09:05

I love listening.

Molly Patrick: 01:09:06

And all of the guests you have on, and here's, you know, you have on a lot of, like, doctor types and sciency types and all those.

Molly Patrick: 01:09:11

Like, I love listening to that stuff.

Molly Patrick: 01:09:13

And it's always so, like, rewarding to know that I'm eating in the way.

Molly Patrick: 01:09:19

Right.

Molly Patrick: 01:09:19

That is so beneficial.

Molly Patrick: 01:09:21

And then where I kind of see myself coming along is, okay, so here's all of this wonderful information.

Molly Patrick: 01:09:27

And then what do people do with that?

Molly Patrick: 01:09:29

How can they implement?

Molly Patrick: 01:09:30

How can that be tangible?

Molly Patrick: 01:09:32

How can they put that, you know, incorporate then, this way of eating into their lives?

Molly Patrick: 01:09:36

And that's what, you know, I just love.

Molly Patrick: 01:09:39

Just love doing.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:09:40

Yeah, well, and, you know, my hat goes off to you for doing that, doing a podcast.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:09:47

I mean, you and I both know how much work it is.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:09:49

And then.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:09:50

And also, especially for somebody that maybe is more leaning towards being an introvert as opposed to being an outrovert.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:10:01

And I would imagine that it's allowed you to get out of your comfort zone and continue to grow in ways that you never imagined.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:12

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:12

Well, I think it all goes back to that.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:14

Embracing the suck, right?

Molly Patrick: 01:10:16

When you can embrace the suck.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:17

When you can be okay with feeling uncomfortable, like, you can really do whatever you want because all of a sudden you might have a symptom, fear.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:25

I mean, I was nervous getting on this podcast this morning, and I was like, okay, what am I feeling?

Molly Patrick: 01:10:31

So I just sat down before it started.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:33

I'm like, I feel it a little bit in my tummy, and I feel it a little bit in my hands.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:37

And this is what it feels like to be a little bit nervous right before I talk to Rip for the Plant Strong podcast.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:43

Like, this is this.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:44

Like, I'm feeling this.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:45

So I was embracing and not.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:47

And I would say, like, those feelings, what I've learned is they don't always suck.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:52

They're just.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:53

They just feel really new if you're not used to being open to feeling them.

Molly Patrick: 01:10:59

And so, you know, it all comes back to being okay with having feelings that aren't quite comfy, cozy.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:06

Right.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:07

Everybody's going to be okay watching Netflix, you know, or watching a good documentary or reading a juicy book.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:12

Like, that's easy.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:12

But.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:13

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:13

What is it going to feel like when you do something that is outside of your comfort zone?

Molly Patrick: 01:11:17

Don't do it because it's out of your comfort zone.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:20

Do it and feel what that feels like.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:21

That's like the good stuff.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:11:23

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:11:24

You know, I think one of.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:11:25

I mean, I've got a lot of wonderful takeaways from our conversation today.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:11:29

One of them is the next time one of my kids starts complaining about something, I'm gonna say, you need to embrace the suck.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:11:36

And do those.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:38

Do it.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:11:39

Embrace it.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:40

Okay.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:40

Please apologize to your children for me.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:43

And.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:43

But, you know, yeah, I think it'll.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:44

I think it's going to do everybody good if they embrace the suck.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:47

We can learn a lot about ourselves and we can overcome some really big challenges and some really big fears when we do it.

Molly Patrick: 01:11:53

So I'm on board.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:11:55

Oh, man.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:11:59

Any.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:12:00

I.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:12:01

nurtured and grown now since: 2014

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:12:31

I think it's so wonderful.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:12:33

And is there anything that you'd like to say before we.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:12:38

Before we say goodbye?

Molly Patrick: 01:12:40

Yes, I would like to.

Molly Patrick: 01:12:41

And thank you for that.

Molly Patrick: 01:12:42

That's very kind.

Molly Patrick: 01:12:43

And that means a lot coming from you.

Molly Patrick: 01:12:45

And I just want to thank you for having me on this space.

Molly Patrick: 01:12:48

It's.

Molly Patrick: 01:12:49

It's a big deal, so.

Molly Patrick: 01:12:51

And the dirties are going to, like, be peeing their pants with excitement.

Molly Patrick: 01:12:54

I know that.

Molly Patrick: 01:12:54

So they're going to be getting real dirty.

Molly Patrick: 01:12:59

So.

Molly Patrick: 01:12:59

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 01:12:59

I want to say, you know, as much as.

Molly Patrick: 01:13:03

Here's my final words, as much as you can for your audience and the journeys.

Molly Patrick: 01:13:07

Know I talk about this a lot, but as much as you can look after your future self and do things today that your future self is going to thank you for.

Molly Patrick: 01:13:19

Right.

Molly Patrick: 01:13:19

And I'm all about living in the moment and being really present, and we can do that while looking out for our future self and so if that is, you know, turning batch cooking into a habit and making sure that you have a big pot of soup and, you know, a dressing in a sauce in your fridge come Monday morning so that, you know, you can just whip together some food fast, like your future self is going to thank you for that.

Molly Patrick: 01:13:44

Whether that's writing out when you're going to do your movement, you know, on a calendar.

Molly Patrick: 01:13:48

So that.

Molly Patrick: 01:13:48

Or booking, you know, a Pilates class or something so you can't get out of it, like doing whatever you can do now to nurture to and to really support your future self, that goes a long way.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:03

So that's, that's.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:05

I think that that's a big.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:06

A big thing that I've been thinking about lately and doing for myself.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:09

And it's an ongoing thing, right?

Molly Patrick: 01:14:11

So, like, little things in the morning, like, I like to wake up early and go for a walk because that's my coffee.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:17

I don't drink coffee.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:18

I don't.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:18

I drink a little bit of green tea from time to time.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:20

But my morning walk is like that.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:22

That gets.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:23

Gives me more energy than coffee ever did.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:25

But I lay out my clothes, right?

Molly Patrick: 01:14:28

I pick out my clothes, I lay out my clothes.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:29

I put everything by the front door.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:31

I get my socks and my shoes ready so that in the morning I don't have to think about it.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:35

I can just go.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:36

So little things like that can make a big difference in kind of the flow of your everyday life when you are in, you know, when you're really wanting to have a healthy lifestyle, right?

Molly Patrick: 01:14:46

There's a difference between, like, for me, there's there.

Molly Patrick: 01:14:50

There's a big difference between not drinking and having a sober, wonderful, full, healthy life, right?

Molly Patrick: 01:14:58

You can take out the drinking, but it's not just that, right?

Molly Patrick: 01:15:02

Like, it's about, like, I had a lot of work to do on myself, a lot of physical damage that I needed to, like, all right, I need to eat a lot of plants.

Molly Patrick: 01:15:11

I need to get good sleep.

Molly Patrick: 01:15:12

I need to move my body, right?

Molly Patrick: 01:15:13

It was this whole thing, having good friends, being able to go out and socialize.

Molly Patrick: 01:15:17

Like there's so many facets to a healthy lifesty.

Molly Patrick: 01:15:20

And so the more you can do little things now to make sure your future self is taken care of, whether that's like, okay, I have a lunch date with my good friend next Tuesday.

Molly Patrick: 01:15:30

That's important to me.

Molly Patrick: 01:15:31

So I'm going to do it now so I can't get out of it, right?

Molly Patrick: 01:15:34

Doing that stuff, really, really important.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:15:37

Have you noticed having smoked for so many years.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:15:42

Have your lungs been affected or have they recovered?

Molly Patrick: 01:15:46

As far as I know, they have recovered.

Molly Patrick: 01:15:49

I have had X rays.

Molly Patrick: 01:15:51

I haven't had, like, scans, but as far as I know, I mean, knock wood, I'm in very healthy shape.

Molly Patrick: 01:16:00

I go to the doctor every year.

Molly Patrick: 01:16:01

I get my labs done, I do my checkups, I do all of the things, and I'm super healthy.

Molly Patrick: 01:16:07

And no, no problems.

Molly Patrick: 01:16:09

So, yeah, as far as I know.

Molly Patrick: 01:16:12

Good.

Molly Patrick: 01:16:12

I'm good.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:16:13

Kale.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:16:14

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 01:16:14

Kale.

Molly Patrick: 01:16:15

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 01:16:16

Yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:16:18

Well, well, Molly, this has been tremendous.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:16:23

Will you.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:16:24

Will you honor me by giving me a virtual plant strong fist bump on the way out?

Molly Patrick: 01:16:29

Oh, yeah.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:16:31

All right.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:16:31

Ready?

Molly Patrick: 01:16:32

Yeah.

Molly Patrick: 01:16:33

Boom.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:16:35

Plantstrong, Molly.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:16:38

Clean food, Dirty girl.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:16:40

Love it.

Molly Patrick: 01:16:41

Thank you, Rip.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:16:44

To learn more about Molly and her site cleanfood Dirty Girl, visit the link in the show notes@cleanfooddirtygirl.com They've even put together a wonderful special for Plan Strong listeners, and I'll be sure to link that in the show notes as well.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:17:03

As we usher in a new year and start to think about personal growth and positive change, I hope that you'll take Molly's story and her message to heart, that it's possible to transform your life and find happiness while still embracing the messy parts of being human.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:17:23

And one of the ways of doing that, always, always keep it plantstrong, my friends.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:17:31

Happy holidays and I'll see you soon.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:17:36

The Plan Strong podcast team includes Carrie Barrett, Lori Kordowich, and Amy Mackey.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:17:43

If you like what you hear, do us a favor and share the show with your friends and loved ones.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:17:48

You can always leave a five star rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:17:54

And while you're there, make sure to hit that follow button so that you never miss an episode.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:18:01

As always, this and every episode is dedicated to my parents, Dr.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:18:06

Caldwell B.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:18:06

Esselstyn Jr.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:18:08

And Ann Krile Esselstyn.

Rheb Esselstyn: 01:18:10

Thanks so much for listening.

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