On this week's episode of the Elements of Community podcast, Lucas Root is joined by spiritual teacher Dr. Valerie Sheppard, a catastrophic stroke survivor, self-mastery expert, and CEO of The Heartly Center for Mindfulness and Self-Mastery. 

Dr. Valerie shares her insights on the transformative power of community and how it can profoundly impact personal growth. Drawing from her wealth of experience, she emphasizes that coming together in a supportive group environment can expedite our journey toward becoming our highest selves in ways that solitary efforts may not. Her own journey serves as a testament to the strength of community in personal development.

Tune in to this episode to hear Dr. Valerie Sheppard's wisdom on leveraging the power of community to awaken your authentic self and create a life you love. Her remarkable journey and expertise will undoubtedly inspire and empower you on your own path to self-mastery and personal growth.

[00:00:48] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Good. Very good. I'm glad.

[00:00:58] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: I'm in[00:01:00] SheppardSheppardDr. Valerie René SheppardDr. Valerie René SheppardDr. Valerie SheppardDr. Valerie Sheppard the commune of Puy Vers, in the south of France, kind of midway between Toulouse and the Mediterranean coast, down in the Pyrenees Mountains. Absolutely spectacular.

[00:01:29] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Really amazing land, just the energy in the land, and I'm in the shadow of a very famous ruin of a castle, Chateau Puivert.

[00:02:01] Lucas Root: Very cool. You've heard bits and pieces of how I came to know you, but only bits and pieces, so, over the past four years, you and I have been playing with the same people and people we love and cherish and support and every time they mention you, they mention you with a degree of reverence that's impossible to ignore.

[00:02:27] Lucas Root: Yeah. And you know, as this was happening for years, people are mentioning you regularly and I just keep thinking, now, of course, this is all COVID times, like, so it's not like I can just wonder, am I maybe I'll just see her the next time we all get together, like, cause there isn't a next time we all get together.

[00:02:46] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: There wasn't then.

[00:03:12] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Thank you so much. Yes. Thank you. I appreciate knowing that. It's funny because, you know, other than seeing ourselves in the mirror, we don't see ourselves through other people's eyes or hear ourselves through their ears or know ourselves through their hearts. So this kind of feedback is so sweet. It's also delicious.

[00:03:36] Lucas Root: My pleasure. I'm glad I could share it. Would you like to tell the audience a little bit about yourself, and then a little bit about the community we're going to talk about today?

[00:04:23] Lucas Root: My wife is amazing at walking by at exactly the right time. This didn't just happen, but she's created this habit in me that's great. So she'll walk by at exactly the right time, hear a snippet of a conversation and be like, I don't know what that means. And it's good. I mean, it's really good.

[00:05:00] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: In the same wavelength is kind of critical.

[00:05:08] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: The life that you love to live is one where there's more of what you want and less of what you don't. There's more of just ease and peace and grace and less struggle and strive and prove and less what I call settling for the way things are, which is called making lemonade out of lemons and actually consciously co creating the life that you want to live, that you even are very sure, like unequivocally sure that's why you came here.

[00:05:56] Lucas Root: Wow. Yeah. [00:06:00] See, that's easy for me to opt into.

[00:06:08] Lucas Root: Yeah. You know, all the water is fine. Cool. Thank you.

[00:06:17] Lucas Root: And tell me about that as a community.

[00:06:55] And the way I do this is through my book and my [00:07:00] courses. And they were all created out of the journey that I took in my own life to do the same thing. I got to a point in my life where I was, not really clear on why my life was my life, you know, would ask things like, what is going on? And is this really what I'm supposed to be doing and is everything that I've achieved like it's, you know, we were talking before we came into the recording about this question of what if the best of my life is behind me and I'm in my thirties or forties.

[00:08:05] And that's what we do in the communities. We dance and play in those things. And Some people go to the 11th degree, meaning they jump on planes and come to places where I'm doing immersion intensive spiritual transformation retreats. Others jump on a Zoom and they meet with me privately or in a group setting.

[00:08:34] Lucas Root: That sounds blissful.

[00:08:42] Lucas Root: I it's not a thing I think about all the time, but Engaging with the idea of like a high school athlete or a college athlete and they get into their late 20s or early 30s And they're like, those were the best days of my life I've heard this before like a number of times and [00:09:00] Every time I hear it, I'm like, this isn't an idea I carry around but we're bringing it up. What if that's true?

[00:09:40] So, I don't know it firsthand all the way, but I do have that feeling from a couple of things in my life. One was they're always injury related. You know, when I blew up my second knee, I blew out one knee, then blew out the other one, [00:10:00] and that was kind of the career ending injury. Like, I don't play football, also known in the US as soccer anymore.

[00:10:34] And so that whole contemplation, I think in the language of my community, it shifts from a, Oh gosh, you know, the best of my life is behind me too. Okay. If the best so far is behind me, what more is possible right now for creating a new best [00:11:00] of my life? And that's the way we would address it.

[00:11:42] Because you journal the way, well, at least because he journals the way he does, all of his journals contain these recipes. His mindset tools, and what he was doing with his meditations, and the food that he was eating, and how he was working out, and even when he was working out. And all of that comes together as a [00:12:00] recipe that builds this, whatever this thing is that he's noticed that he wants to bring back into his life.

[00:12:31] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: So, I understand what you're saying, and I wholeheartedly disagree.

[00:12:38] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: I don't like that idea at all, and part of the reason is, been there, done that, got the t shirt, didn't do me any good. This whole idea of reliving a formula from my past doesn't necessarily take into account that I'm not that [00:13:00] person anymore. And in an ideal world, we don't want to be that person anymore. So the same stimuli and the same degree and the same sorts of amplification of certain emotions and certain dynamics going on in our world. I think I'm going to say, am I going to say shouldn't? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to say shouldn't.

[00:13:55] For joy and happiness, or anger and resentment and [00:14:00] fear and shame and guilt, like, we have to look at the whole equation and what from my experience with myself and my students and my clients is. When people are lifting and trying to bring from the past into the present, often what they haven't sorted out is the false self that was stimulated back then, and bringing that forward is not serving them.

[00:14:51] Rather, I would like to do a retrospective analysis, and understand what about me [00:15:00] made that important or made it not important. And is that really the truth for me? And was that okay then? And certainly not okay now. And was it not okay then, but man, Oh man, with who I am today, this would rock my world. And so it's gotta have the analysis in it that looks at who am I being, you know, I have this fundamental question that I ask over and over of people who work with me. Who are you being when you think you're being you, who are you being when you think you're being you, and it gets into this question of authenticity because most people say I'm authentic and they're not really going as deep as I would ask them to go.

[00:16:16] They're not awake to the ways they're not self Is actually running them ragged.

[00:16:32] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: You're welcome.

[00:16:40] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Yeah, and am I the same? As

[00:16:48] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Some people fight pretty hard to be the same, I think that in my experience their interpretation is everything would be that much easier. I already know that, [00:17:00] you know, if I just keep doing that, I know it. And even when I find people are banging their heads against the wall, you know, that old adage.

[00:17:23] Lucas Root: I've done it. I'll probably do it again.

[00:17:52] Lucas Root: Yeah. Wow. Another thing. So, when I consider buying something, the first place that I [00:18:00] go look is the bad reviews for that thing. And absolutely true. If something doesn't have bad reviews, I'm not going to buy.

[00:18:11] Lucas Root: I'm well sort of. So people hear that and they're like, oh, okay, so he's looking for a reason not to buy It's not really that. What i'm looking for is I'm trying to decide if the things that people don't like about this thing that I'm gonna buy Are things that bother me.

[00:18:41] Lucas Root: Those aren't important to me or those are really important to me It's a good thing people told me about it so that I can decide not to buy. Yeah.

[00:19:24] And then I go eat and I'm like, what on earth were they thinking? And then I remind myself. Oh, but they're not me. So,

[00:19:32] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: You know, I'm the one who trusted what I read over my own gut, my own way of evaluating. And so I think it's a dynamic question or comment that you bring up, Lucas.

[00:20:19] So, if you're a 4. 4 or 4. 5, right, that means there are enough people out there to have opinions. And to me, that's it. That's all that matters. Restaurants, I pay a lot of attention to.

[00:20:34] Lucas Root: Because my food experience is something that has elevated in my life in importance. And every single time I sit down to eat it's almost to the level of worship.

[00:20:53] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: I say the same way when I say people think it's just kind of funny, but when I say I'm a foodie[00:21:00] it's not just that I really love eating. It's that the ritual around eating is so special to me. It just feels like the nourishment goes beyond just physiological nourishment and that there's a worship process in eating that is about my relationship with the divine.

[00:21:28] Lucas Root: exactly.

[00:21:55] Lucas Root: Yeah, so yes, I pay a lot of attention to [00:22:00] reviews of restaurants. That matters to me. But sort of in that vein, like again, the first place I look are the bad reviews. I want to see what people didn't like. It's just it's a thing, like to me, the things that people didn't like helped me understand whether or not i'm gonna have a problem with that. Yeah

[00:22:28] Lucas Root: So, tell me a little bit about more about. And for me specifically what I like is to see how the elements of community play out. Tell me a little bit more about your Bliss community and What i'd really like is i'd like to see how The projects the ways that you gather the ways that people come together advance the purpose.

[00:23:26] So your own healing changes the world. And so the projects underneath that, like purpose, being around heal yourself self awareness, and personal responsibility coming together in a space where I choose to make it my responsibility to make myself the best version of myself everywhere I go.

[00:24:41] And that's the real project. You know, get out of your own way, create more of what you want, live at a high vibration. And that changes everywhere we place ourselves into a more high vibration environment and in high [00:25:00] vibration environments, it just feeds on itself. You know, through law of reflection, law of attraction, law of karma, law of reciprocity, all of these laws, universal spiritual laws that are in operation 24/7, 365, whether we know it or not, like it or not, understand it or not, believe it or not, this is what's going on in the universe.

[00:25:36] Lucas Root: Yeah, and doing it. And then leading by doing, right? While I was making my coffee this morning I'm sitting there over the coffee machine ruminating about fitness and being fit and being healthy. Just one of the things I think about from time to time and the thought sort of passed through my mind with regards to community and, you know, there [00:26:00] are some really powerful studies out there that talk about how much more effective it is to lose weight when you're doing it with other people.

[00:26:31] And if you're working with other people to get fit, you're going to get fit faster, more effectively, more efficiently. And it's not just that you're less likely to fall off the wagon, although that's a thing. But it actually happens faster. Our body picks up on the vibration of the people that we're working with to achieve a goal.

[00:27:10] And you're talking about that spiritually, which I love. And you're doing it together as a collective, which I love. Cause we have this amazing data that says that when we do it together, we do it better.

[00:28:48] So in order to have the belonging that I want in this fit group of people I've got to and so that i've got to in order to belong which is more it leans a [00:29:00] little toward people pleasing is out about something outside of me driving me I've got to cultivate in myself the drive, the desire that's inspiration as opposed to motivation.

[00:30:05] Lucas Root: Beautifully stated. Yeah. Wow. So that sort of leans into, from a community perspective, that sort of leans into, it actually goes beyond, but it leans into the value. So the fourth element value, is as is everything, it's bidirectional. You're not really in the community if you're not contributing value.

[00:30:55] If you're not actually contributing, you're not in, and looking at that from a [00:31:00] longitudinal perspective helps us remember that if you're not in, you will eventually fall off.

[00:31:49] That's not visible to others, because they haven't fully bought in, but they wanted to jump in and see if this is where I'm supposed to be in there. So they're, you know, the junior birdman, [00:32:00] so to speak. And so I, from a, I guess, from the mission, you know, the heart centered nature of the mission sort of feel like there is a contribution to the community from a passive a more passive engagement, we said before, this was kind of an oxymoron, but passive engagement, meaning receptivity to what is being offered until I can get to a place of gobbling it up and then contributing something from having gobbled it up.

[00:33:18] And so I like to think that a contribution to the community could even be just my presence is here and I'm willing to receive what could help me transform so that when I'm out there, I am contributing a higher vibration. I don't know if that's completely different than what you were saying. I just wanted to make space for the contribution to be less than an, you know, especially in the West, we're so into doing and going and getting it done.

[00:34:13] Lucas Root: Lovely. Yeah. And there has to be that too. There has to be quiet, contemplative making space. It has to happen. One of my favorite ways to talk about community is people who gather together on some, you know, let's say Saturday mornings for coffee and hugs, like...

[00:35:00] I don't know that they are a couple, but a man and a woman, they have blindfolds on and the signs around them say free hugs.

[00:35:23] And somebody asked me, why are they wearing blindfolds? And I said, I think it's because it's unconditional hug that way. There's no, no aspect of them is holding back because a judgment came in as they saw the person who wanted to be hugged. And it's so beautiful to just watch. I love being a fly on the wall watching this.

[00:35:59] Lucas Root: [00:36:00] Yeah. Which, by the way, is a project. That's amazing. And so I think about this, it's impossible for me not to, being a physicist by trade, I think about this from the observer principle, where when you observe a system, the system is changed by the observation. But here's the thing, in nature, it works in both directions.

[00:36:29] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Oh dear. Yes, it does.

[00:36:46] It's our decision to act on that judgment. But we're always going to judge. What they're doing is they're inviting a very specific judgment. They're inverting the observer principle with intent. It's amazing.[00:37:00]

[00:37:28] And then I'm coming around the hill and there's the huggers and it's so special, especially since, you know, I think some people would characterize, like, as you said, from a judgment perspective would have a characterization in their mind's eye of who, what's the kind of person that would do that.

[00:37:57] Like they don't look like a [00:38:00] certain kind of people who would just stand in a very busy crowded market with blindfolds on waiting for someone to come up and say, I'll take a hug.

[00:38:26] Like, are they corporate executives? Are they doing community service? Who are they? It was very, I love doing.

[00:38:35] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Yes, absolutely. But I wonder if it was the reason that they're doing it because they said they would do some community service. And so I love, like, so this is another one of the seminal teachings that I have, like, are you watching yourself?

[00:38:52] Lucas Root: If a judge in the U.S would allow that as a community service plan.

[00:38:59] Lucas Root: I mean, they [00:39:00] should but now the idea is in my head, like, wait, would that even be accepted?

[00:39:18] Lucas Root: I would argue that is maybe the best community service model there could be.

[00:39:43] That I think would just be amazing.

[00:39:57] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Yeah the[00:40:00] left brain side of me is like, I can come up with a million, well, not a million, three or four reasons why they could throw a wrench into that. Maybe social workers wouldn't. I could see a judge, you know, the whole, you know, but there are ways around it, potentially women hugging women, men hugging men, no cross sexual, you know, gender, all of that stuff being taken into account.

[00:40:49] Lucas Root: Fun. I like to I like to wrap up my interviews with three questions. And strap on your seatbelt, because question two and question three are [00:41:00] curveballs.

[00:41:10] Lucas Root: Tell me about it. What do you do? Dr. Valerie, what do you do when life throws you a curveball?

[00:41:40] And then the next thing is to kind of go, so what really is going on here? And what that's doing is you just said a little while ago, something to the effect of. It's our interpretations are judging selves come in and try to kind of hijack the moment. With [00:42:00] our, you know, little internal voice of, well, this is what it means.

[00:42:26] Number two, in your inner world, start asking questions. Get curious about what is this moment in the bigger picture? What is this moment in my internal world? What is this opportunity that this moment's giving me? And I will say, you know, just so that it doesn't sound so frivolous. That article was one that I wrote about having had a brain hemorrhage and waking up after being in a coma for a few days and not being able to move my right side of my body.

[00:43:20] Is it to notice that I'm doing things that aren't serving me? Is it to come into rapid reflection around what's happening? That could contribute to my future. It's that kind of thing. And then it's about waiting till we can get to a neutral place and choosing, what am I going to do in the dynamics that are present at this moment?

[00:43:58] Lucas Root: Lovely. [00:44:00] That's a wonderful practice. First breathe.

[00:44:11] Lucas Root: Yep. First breathe. You know, what's amazing is in first breathe. That's applicable to everything. First breathe.

[00:44:54] When we do a body scan, how we can find out, well, gosh, I'm holding my breath, [00:45:00] I'm holding my abdomen and I'm holding my tush in, I'm clenching my arms. No wonder I'm in pain. My muscles are tired and they're building up lactic acid and that doesn't work. And so the first breathe is a way to notice. Oh my gosh, let's take a deep breath.

[00:45:40] Lucas Root: Yeah. I've worked with a couple of different vocal course coaches. Yeah I love working with vocal coaches. They, they approach being an athlete because, you know, using your voice is an athletic endeavor. Your voice isn't something that just magically happens. Like, we have a [00:46:00] mechanical container that is controlled by muscles and hard structures.

[00:46:19] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Diaphragmatic breathing is important.

[00:46:50] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Get out. I have never heard that. Wow.

[00:46:56] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Wow.

[00:47:01] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: One of the benefits of laughter yoga is that laughter can help us evacuate our lungs more than we do with normal breathing, especially when you get into a laughter meditation and you're laughing for like 20 minutes without stopping. I love those.

[00:47:38] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Oh, I just tell people, get me on email enough of the social media stuff. It's Valerie@HartleyCenter.com and it's H E A R T L Y Hartley center. Yeah. You can also do the PMing thing and you know, LinkedIn and yada. The fastest way to get me though, especially when I'm [00:48:00] internationally traveling is email.

[00:48:10] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Yes, indeed. So cool.

[00:48:20] Second question. Here's the first of the curveballs. What is the one thing you wish I had asked you but have not?

[00:49:06] And the reason is because number one, I think divine energy chooses who's in the container. They're divinely put there. And you find out as you start talking to each other and you're like, Oh my gosh, you know, we're both doing the same thing. Or, you know, I have had that wound and I'm working on healing it too.

[00:49:55] And I just say, they're just not ready. People who are ready. It's [00:50:00] not even dirty laundry. All they know is it's holding me back. It's somehow preventing me from living my best life, from creating a life. I really love to live and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of having the things that are in my way be things inside me.

[00:50:48] And here's how, and I love that. So to me, that's my number one favorite modality is group transformation, and that's why the bliss collective and that's [00:51:00] why some of the I have a prosperity circle. We do that there too. And I do these lovely 7 day retreats here in France. And we saw it.

[00:51:13] Lucas Root: Yeah, I had a really powerful realization I've started 13 different businesses in my life and I'm probably not done. And I had a really powerful realization, recently within the last several years so relatively recently that you know I've always been the kind of person like if I can do it myself I'm going to do it myself. And you know, for all the reasons, I don't want to bother other people I don't want to be slowed down by other people, blah, blah, blah.

[00:52:30] It's being built for somebody who's outside of my community instead of inside of my community. Now, maybe I'm bringing them in. Maybe they're becoming part of my community. Maybe they're going to be with me forever after this but what about the people who are already with me forever?

[00:53:08] It's really pretty.

[00:53:53] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Yes. And I don't know the idea of a thoughtless, you being a thoughtless [00:54:00] person still feels like a heavy negative judgment. And when I feel like, and so when you talk about community language and the community in the Hartley Center, community language is really critical. And. You know, I would offer you a choice that, you know, a different way of saying what you discovered, which is I made that decision maybe without the highest vibration of me participating.

[00:54:52] Lucas Root: In that moment.

[00:55:09] So your choice and language just didn't reflect your higher self, which is more compassionate and loving, and instead of giving you a slap for not having, you know. Selfish and thoughtless are pretty yucky words if you think about them in the narrowest sense. And so I just felt like you're growing back into the place of kind of refining how you use your blessings.

[00:56:02] Lucas Root: What you just demonstrated is how we together can take the story that's going on inside my head and refine it into something that helps me grow into my highest self together better than alone.

[00:56:18] Lucas Root: Thank you.

[00:56:21] Lucas Root: Do you have any parting gifts or thoughts that you'd like to share with our audience?

[00:57:04] You're only trying to be a better version, the highest and best version of you. that means higher and better than you were five minutes ago. And so, it's always only about that. How am I besting my best?

[00:57:53] and contribute to the changing of the planet.

[00:58:07] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Yes.

[00:58:11] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: Thank you, Lucas. This has been a great conversation.

[00:58:16] Dr. Valerie Sheppard: I'm really grateful to have been here and many blessings to you and your lovely credibility nation audience.

[00:58:30] Make sure to visit our website, ElementsOfCommunity.us, where you can subscribe to the show in iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or via RSS, so you'll never miss a show. While you're at it, if you found value in this show, we'd appreciate a rating on iTunes, or if you'd simply tell a friend about the show, that would help us out too.